BOOK 6

                                                             CHAPTER 77

     The level of this shit can't get faded. Watching mine as always like I'm supposed to do. This is the little world that I have created in this time that I have on this earth. Thank you for listening to me and a big shout out to my family for sticking this out with me. I'm so proud of us I just want you to know there's not a day that goes by that I'm not thinking of you. My mind is at its best when I leave here people will remember me. When you play this game yes you are taking the hard way out. If you go to school that's the easy way out. Learning believes me it's better.

    Respect is giving when you give respect. Due as to others as you want others to due to unto you. Everything has to be set as a goal in your life. You do not have to speed up the process to get what you want out of life. People will work with you on what it is you are trying to accomplish trust me. Ask people for help and ask people to help you make good decisions out there. So I'm 40years old and I'm trying to change my life for the better. So that way I can grow to the best of my ability. Growing yes it means leaving all of the negative bull shit alone but who wouldn't want to do that.

    Trying your best that's all you can do. You never give up also think about a plan before you try to jump right into something. That's why I play them back and learn the business and make sure I have the skills to run a corporation before putting my all into something or someone meaning investment. People will try to use you and the same people you see when you're up you will see when you are down. So you should be nice to everyone even if you are doing excellent or doing not so good but if you're at your worst and people don't help you their not your friends from the beginning. Stand your ground and make things happen for yourself.

    From the first time, she told me she was blank. The only thing I could think of is she was mine but the question remains how. Like the others were blank right. From that point on I did everything that I could do. I got calls every time she had an appointment. Given all that I got to make sure she has the best life. I understand that I have to stop the bull shit and get on point taking care of her. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her. She named her after my little cousin. The question is for what. Maybe she's letting me know that there's a connection there past tense.

    I'm going back in time when everything was at its best. Baby, you take so much out of me. I'm putting my heart in your hands. Can you see the plan that I'm planning? Late night in the studio is hard but the hardest part is being away from you. The thoughts that I have in this mind when I think about are you cheating on me. When it all comes down to it I'm going to find out the truth. How hard is it to say yes to the one that's been there for you since day one? I never looked like I did anything when I was away from you. Out of town yes I learned so much and the most important thing was being faithful to you.

    As I sit here wondering what's my next move. I hope all of the females that are supposed to be in my life stay in my life. Yes, there are others out there but when you want the ones that have been down with you from day one. You will do anything to stay with that lady. If there's no trust the relationship is going to be hard on both of you. Taking care of children is the best feeling in the world. I'm not in my children's life but I'm writing every day to let them know how I feel and what I'm going through. Hopefully, my children understand why and that I love them with all of my heart to my unborn children.

    What does a black man need for a faithful woman? You can't find that anywhere I'm going to take my time on who I love. You are supposed to be in this position for all the good reasons. I want stand-up women that know how to take care of their black men. I need one that spends time with me. One that loves me and cares for me. One that I can hold all night and every morning. One that respects me one that knows how to treat me. All of these drugs are killing us. That's what they want us to do so we don't have a clear vision.

    I see what's going on in this world. The only thing I can do is make me and my family's life better. I know words don't mean anything I have to show and tell what happened on my way getting to this bag. Yes, make moves, as I should never forget it's a war outside, ain't no man safe but when you are protected by the baby nine. Things look different from everybody else. I can't let my family down times get hard so what works through it. I'm almost at my peak. When you put everything on the table and just take the good with the bad like Big Meech said your team becomes stronger and winners.

    Living happily with you is all I want. Going out to eat or to see a movie with you. How hard it is to get back on my shit. Playing the field fuck that I need one girlfriend or a lot of girls that understand each other and all of them know about one another. You have to take care of all of them baby yes it's the hardest part of my life. I realize that it's not easy for you to take care of your children. I know I can't walk in your shoes and you can't walk in my shoes. Let's meet halfway and help each other out with what we need to do for our family. I'm living for this moment when we come together and be one.

    Ninjas want to sign to my label but we don't need you. When I came back home the first thing he said was I needed to get down or lay down. Then I took that to the heart and didn't shake hands with any of them. Ninjas weren't speaking to me but always ran to the spot to cop work from the spot that we were running and if anybody says different. Ninjas know the truth why ride another man's coat tail when you're supposed to be getting to your bag out here. My label is building the strongest team out here cornering the market.

    Get your mind right. I'm trying to ball until I can't ball anymore. How are you going to get this money by getting deep into these streets? You can't talk that much that's what I learn. I saw a lot of shit in these streets. The Harlem streets ain't nothing to be fuck with. I saw a lot of bodies that just made me aware of my surroundings. Control what happens in your life makes you a man feel me. When I came back home on 3/9/05 biggie died and bow wow birthday. I left the courtroom on probation. Yes, back to the street for 2years I couldn't get in trouble.

    Mother everything is going well. I'm keeping l's up working. What you need to do is keep status sleep. You see what status did when he had the mic. He is the point-blank person that I remember more than ever. Remember when he ran the streets. Every pass-off was more than 50thousand dollars every move. When he tries to overpower me. I turn into me back in one piece and he's not stronger because I'm older. But his little self has strength. If we mix both of us or come to an understanding. we ain't nothing to be fuck with feeling me.

    It's not what you do with your time. It's more like how are you spending your time. Do you spend it with family members? Do you spend it writing and taking care of your businesses for me I like to write a lot and I mean a lot? My mind stays on coming up with new ideas on how to make my company successful. Putting words together and making them into sentences feels so good. Overcoming what people thought I couldn't overcome feels great to me. Understanding work is the best feeling in the world that one can have. Putting your all into what you are trying to accomplish.

    Undergoing all of the ins and outs. This call for all my ninjas to stand up and handle things the right way feels me. You have to start somewhere in life and don't take your life for granted. Drive people crazy for what because I can never drop my guard. Mix hands with other people to get more money. If you and your team take time to brainstorm you and your team can come up with something important trust me. Grind until you can't grind anymore. Keep your head in this book at all times. Reading and writing are fundamental.

    Twenty-one gun salute. Getting back on my feet I'm not going to say people didn't help me. As long as the people say I helped them too. It was a two-way streak. I'm only a human being the dot on my hand says it all for me. Getting down people tell me if it wasn't for my father a lot of people wouldn't be who they are. I no longer miss him because he's in our life. If my brothers hear me one day all of us will come together. Follow my path in these streets. Yes, I'm watching the streets carefully I'm proud to say I learned a lot from these streets and I take what I have learned and apply it to my everyday life.

    Playing with females can get you in trouble. I had to learn that way. I'm showing you that you are the only one for me. I'm making my way to a better life. Life is hard for me where's shorty let's talk about life and what it means to us as one. Never cross me my fault let's use status. This is the shit that ninjas are not ready for. How many people signed to my team yes I'm buying everything up. That's for the gees that know what's popping. My ninjas in the south know what that means. Building a brand takes a lot out of you feel me.

    This goes out to the ones that have my back. You learn something new every day. This here is for 2pac and Biggie. This is how storytelling tells its story. Who would've given a fuck if I was shot? I see everything like people with people that set the gang up but it's a blazer world. Hot like fire yes I was 5007 for a long time. Fighting to get back to the east side. When I left his house I started having flashbacks of ninjas wanting to murder me. Yeah, he was with me traveling to let him know ninjas tried once and I will be damn if it happens again. Treetop green soul colors our death. Five what's popping east side all the time.

    What's in this world takes place for what you do in this world. Never looking back moving forward. Staying grounded at all times. Being focused on staying true to yourself through the ups and downs. Having someone to depend on has someone that has your back. Making up for a lost time. It is said that the smartest people have fewer friends because people can't understand where I'm going with this. You strive for what you believe instead of non-believing. Take everything one day at a time. The outcome will determine how strong you are.

    Being connected to your soulmate only mean one thing you will ride or die for her. It's nothing to think about you do what you have to do. This rap shit ain't for everyone. Only a few last in this game. Trust I'm not worrying about another ninja. The time waits for now man so make this life the best life that you can. If you fall out with your friends never cross them even if you're not speaking. I'm in a place where I got to eat. What do you tell a ninja that's eating too much to stop being greedy? It's dark when the dog bark yeah I'm the one you have to worry about.

    When it's big enough for the world to see. You become a target but as long as I got this dot on my trigger finger. You better calm down yellow backstay on my back. Mr. Freeze with one girl and that's the girl that's inside of me. How's my blood drop doing Layla daddy moving. I'm going to continue to keep my feet on these ninjas' necks. Let's see who can last the longest in this rap game. Common sense let's play cards who got the joker. If it's true I do what's on my mind and that's this money. Actions speak louder than words. Don't lose yourself in the midst of what you are doing.

                                                              CHAPTER 78

    So we had a talk in bed at night wake and you told me that I had to handle business. So when I get older everybody will be taken care of. Dropping me off out of the car and me telling you to spin the block five times. Walking up the block saw an opp and asked him to walk down the steps he said are you going to murder me and I said come down. I told him to walk up the block and then the dot let off 17 out of the wire. I'm leaving to walk up the block and I got to the building I'm under the stairs wake comes in the building.

    What goes up must come down. You try to remove yourself from the bull shit but guess what it keeps surfacing. You know my model keeps the paper in the mind. Ninjas get cash everywhere and stay on top. I'm not a known hater first and foremost from a loyal team. If you can't trust your ninjas then who can you trust? If you still doing the same thing you were doing when you were a teenager it's time to grow up. Know shade thrown I'm laughing at what's taking place. This is for all my real ninjas in New York City getting to that bag.

    Outlaws watching the path that you take. Can be so hard to watch your soul before you leave anything unanswered. Keep moving fuck the drama can't stand me then ride. Yeah, it's the pen that continues to get busy. I'm not letting ninjas knock me off. I'm thankful God and Jesus watch over me. The bottom line is when it all falls pick it up and you smile even if you can't take it. Never let them see you sweat. I'm from the battlegrounds. Where we want to see our people win the battle that we are facing feel me never let up.

    The highest power what do you have for me. We better be talking big money. You always fight with your feelings. Yeah at sixteen I went to a place where there were a lot of blanks yeah I threw it up and they also threw it up. Traveling back home was a reminder the block is going to lose one of his soldiers. Yes, I miss you the connection between you and your family lives forever. Who said it was the emotional roller coaster losing you. I know you watching over the Mob family. This is why I'm going to continue to hold my head up.

    When you have a strong friendship with God who can take the blessings he has for you away nobody that's who. Be one with yourself and never follow I was taught always to be a leader. You have to know what you want in life or else nothing will get done in your life. Set goals and follow those goals until you achieve them. People will try to tell you you can't do it. But you have to keep pushing the mind state that you in will become something like I am in and that's the zone. Work hard and be considered by others who want to help you accomplish your dreams.

    It's always a lesson to be learned in this life. So that's where we stand never seeing you again it's fine with me. My mind is on these raps the conversation we had talked about being half in this game with you being my manager yes if that's what you want you got it. The next time we bump heads yes I will say something to you trust that. Whoever rides with me still watching my back and who stands on the side of me. I love the people that pull for me. I can see everything that's in front of me. I'm never letting them take me without a fight trust and believe that.

    When that day comes that I have to let my children take over the company. It will be well planned out. So not that much work has to be applied to the company. Everything will be running smoothly as it could move growing as time pass by. You think I'm working this hard so my company can fail never fail. I'm going to grind so hard that the non-believer believes in what I'm doing. I gotta stay focused on what I'm doing out here. Knowing that you are still alive that's all I needed to know and want forever. God hears my prayers that's why I talk to him every day and this is the blessing he has sent me.

    When we ride on the people that set me up. I'm in peace now but I still have to watch my back. The gangsters turned friends you know how the streets do. When you are on top they run with you but when you are at the bottom they will leave you. What do you want me to do going out partying no why there's money on the table. Eat the whole plate you and your ninjas. You don't want to bring too much pressure from the 12. Look what Harlem turned to. When you dry snitching on shit that was going on.

    When you stay in a blood bath. Who's sending shots at me even the closet faded makes me think was it about money. I pray to God it wasn't that. Fuck the other side it's the west side until the day I Damu one die on the hand as you can see. My body my temple the mind all of that could've been taken from me. When I was going into murder. So being scared isn't a problem of death when you know what it feels like. The more the game changes the more these people claim blood and for what. Southside gets down together miss you brother.

    You telling me to dig deep inside of my soul and bring out the good in me. The wait is over here I go again back on my bull shit. Yeah, I was hoping the drug spot doesn't get run in it. After it happened ma left nothing found in it. Put what happened in a book so ninjas know what a young ninja was down for. The stronger the more pain I'm going through it. Bomb first before they bomb on you. Classes yeah get the business straight before you die and I better go out by God or the dot let loose. If the rain starts let the 40 days and 40 nights happen. What if it never stops.

    Pump fake get you nowhere nowadays. Stand on your 2 feet and never let known one take that from you. The game yeah it's hard to play by the rules. Don't ever tell the 12 before you do know that the streets ain't fucking with you anymore. This the rules that I am by. I was a young ninja friend who didn't know what I was into in these streets. Just because you don't touch work doesn't mean you don't have work. If I could've lived a straight life I would've. But what ninjas don't know won't hurt them and for those that know and if you didn't know. I guess now you know. My goal is to get wealthy, not rich that's where I'm at right now.

    Make your mark in this game so people will remember you and don't take shit to follow the rules feel me. It's another world that's the business world that's what I'm trying to get into. Yeah, it's hard to get in but when you own the biggest company in the industry. I'm not giving up yet the pressure that was put on me. I'm trying my best to contain it. When the world is watching you attend to carry yourself differently. Yes, you ride for what you believe in never take no for an answer feel me. Keep grinding until the day you die don't forget it's one in the chamber and sixteen in the clip.

    In this game of life, you can't let anything or anyone get to you. You take the good with the bad and the bad with the good. Standing here not knowing what you want to do is a no-no. You have to figure out what it is that you want to do. Right now I know for one I'm not thinking about what anyone is doing but for me. Female or male unless I trust you. Trust is a strong word I just don't throw that word around just like that. I take my time with everything I want to do even if it means finding a female. My mind is on my company and taking care of what needs to be taken care of out here.

    You have to know wins when it comes to the streets. This world is not to be played with. I have been in this game since 82. You are not ready for a person like me on your mind. Keep it up that's what my ninjas say keep pushing. In the midst of it, all the street life isn't what it used to be. I can't get over this shit if you get caught do your time. I know the feds watching but I'm not scared at all. If it goes down it goes down. I'm able to rise over this bull shit. Keeping my calm should be one of the things. That a young man learns in these streets. Who wants war feel me.

    Every man wants women that he can trust right. You have to give trust to your women. You always tell her how much you care. She's saying she needs space you want me to walk out and give you your life back. We grew up together we shared everything that one another had. Yeah I know I made mistakes. Come on can't you forgive me. Everyone knows when you walked out my back was to the wall. Baby, I had nothing and no one. So yeah I was in my feelings. When you left you took everything that I own right. The harder the more the problems came. Looking out for myself was hard because you said you will always be there.

    The conversation started like this did you cut your hair. I said I'm growing it back or did you say am I growing my hair back and I said yes. You asked me to walk with you to the store and I said you walking too fast. So you go to get something to eat and asked me do I wanted something and I said yes. Then paid for it and then passed me $20 to get something to drink I asked for a sun kiss and they said they didn't have it. I'm telling you they didn't have it and then I said I'm going to get a fruit punch and you said to get what you want and then you said to keep the change and walking back down the block I forgot to say thank you.

    Play the game by the rules. she wants designer clothes and shoes. costing thousands of dollars. who am I to tell her. no, my baby gets what my baby wants. when she smiles it can stop the rain from falling and turning into the sunlight. she's a great person to know. she's always popping looking at her getting money. she's bright and smart and runs in her family and she has my back at any cost. she always handles her business and she always takes care of her man and she's a bad female that cooks and cleans. making sure her man is happy that's what I love about her. she never makes promises she can't keep and she promises to play by the rules.

    You tell your soulmate the heart of the family that it's all good with you. now she's telling me she misses me and wants me to come over to her house but why are you calling me 3clock in the morning. waking me up out of my sleep and that's not the first time. you did that on a lot of occasions. I'm wishing that was a call that you wanted to be with me and I'm telling you yes. the way you tell me that I'm the love of your life or are you telling everybody that. should I change up and go on with my life and take care of myself because this here hurts. if you can change I'm willing to work on this relationship in the present and future.

    As we move on and continue to do good with my company. I know all of my faith was in God's hands. he helps me through some rough times. he got me through everything. sometimes I use to sit there and pray to him and guess what he answered my prayers. I give it all to the higher power. the devil is evil don't get out of hand with what you are doing. hold on and make the right choices. if it's up to me put everything in God's hands. let him take care of it. trying to fight by yourself you will never win and it will end badly. the thought of me not asking him for help. I couldn't do this by myself. believe in him with all of your heart okay.

    The person that I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with has to be a woman. that knows what she wants out of life. listen do not cross me because, in the long run, you will need me again. karma didn't come back to me because I did nothing wrong when I left my home. my kids were on my mind all of the time and you know that because I'm always saying my kids mean everything to me. I hope my kids understand why daddy isn't there. trust me it's not because I didn't want to be there for you. it's because God and Jesus gave me this locator on my hand and I had to follow what they had in store for me and I'm thankful for our life together.

                                                               CHAPTER 79

    Things don't make too much sense when I think about it. yeah, I'm in the mood for you to come to see me. showing is believing that's what people say. I'm doing everything that I can do for you. yes, it's hard taking care of you. she doesn't want me in these streets anymore and I'm not going to be in these streets anymore. opening up a company is what she wants. how are our children going to eat in the future? can't you see I'm trying my best baby? the work gets me tired sometimes and I'm up for now handling business for us until the day I die. I'm making up for all the wrongs that I did so trust me and I'm going to trust you.

    How can you pace back and forth? please tell me what you want. I'm only one man and this man has the world on his shoulders. I hope I'm touching the people that I need to touch. I need you to tell me if this is something that you want. baby what does this mean that you are trying to find yourself. didn't I do everything to keep this relationship on point and focused? tell me what did I do and don't tell me. it's because cheating is okay. I know that wasn't right. you asked me to put souls together and that's what I did. baby do you know how hard that was. shedding all of this blood out of my body.

    Let's have makeup sex people say that's the best sex. If we ever get mad at each other. let's yell and scream at one another. having fights gets me upset but the loving after it's over. from the time I walked in the house, you started telling me about all of these girls that I'm supposed to be sleeping with. meanwhile. I'm telling you it's not true why don't you believe me. you are the only one I have in my heart and mind and soul and body feel me. being away from you for a little time hurts me. when you vow to be with someone you love that person.

    What's so true about our relationship is we understand one another. people say when times get rough. you will probably leave me by myself. it takes a strong woman to stick around and wait until something good comes out of it. one that's always holding me up and never letting me go. bring your sexy ass here and let's talk about our friendship. baby, I'm calling out to you do you hear me. show and tell I'm showing you and I'm never telling what we went through. let's keep it to ourselves and never talk about what goes on in the house. let's keep what we talk about only for our ears baby.

    What if I was thinking about helping someone with what they want to do. how important it is to put someone in a position to do better. so I'm this writer that wants to see someone grow but what if they do nothing for you. there are so many other girls. if another guy can help them then why can't I help another female accomplish their goals? my feelings go back and forth but soon I'm willing to get over the past. Wish me a happy birthday by giving me a card. they never did but everything they want who takes care of it. I know someone would appreciate me. giving me something never was the plan.

    The older kids from the block were about 15 years old and older. the younger kids from the block were 13 years old and younger. so it started with us going to house parties. that led to the skate key. it was about 15 older kids and like 12 younger kids. so the first time I went was with day day and we had so much fun there. when Easter came around the year was 1996. a couple of my friends went skating key. skate key had a lot of girls there. so as we walked in a lot of girls were looking at us. like we were the new kids in there. At about 8:00 the dance floor opened up and I and my friends started dancing. we all spread it out, you know that first day we were popping.

    So everything was going well. until this one girl came up to me on the dance floor. yeah, I dance with her and we exchange phone numbers. going back to the block we went to my friend's house and fell asleep. the next day we got up. we use to play up the block versus down the block in basketball, so we did that. the younger kids use to fuck with us about what set we were in. the block was real life back in the days. ninjas just are hanging out. fighting with the young kids that lived on the block. the young kids were growing up real fast. half of us went to the school IS90. having beef with different races up there but you know we hold ours down.

    Shit got hot for us. we going everywhere not giving a fuck about what ninjas think. my guess is ninjas singled me out because I was getting girls for a reason that I undressed in all of my stories. my friends and I were leaving school early to go to my other friend's school to pick them up and we were cutting school to hang out with girls. some of us started smoking weed at a young age. then the blood came to New York City in full effect in 97 everybody was turning blood. blood was all over the city. meanwhile, back on the block. I had a couple of girls there but the girls were hanging out too. going to parties and skate key. the girls were dancing with ninjas too. girls were messing with my friends also.

    In the back of my mind, I had a family that I was handling business for. it's been about 20 years since I slept with anyone from New York City and it's been 17years since I slept with anyone in this whole wide world. ninjas were in their feelings was it about a girl no it was about money. we got to stay friends blood in blood out. people rolling up on me and my friends wanting to fight us. we are not scared but where did the hate come from. so something happen to one of the girls and a close friend was the friend that did it. then we got to run up on some young kid and I knock him out. I told him to tell his friends to come holler at us.

    Later on that day they came uptown with like 75 people we were in the park and they wanted to fight. so I and my friends walked out of the park and walked down the block and told 151 everybody ran up the block. we caught up to them cops came and everybody went home and we are hot as fish grease. the kid moves down south. fast forward to 2005. I came back home got on the phone with him bro and told him 142 he said he can handle that okay. it's a lot of work that's going to be coming in. so we started up light a couple of ounces everybody started knowing we had it. money started coming in. we moved from ounces to pounds quick.

    My ninjas started rapping Mobvill and Baz Set. what's better than handling the drug business and rapping. we had everybody in Harlem coping with us. I was doing my thing by writing stories. soon we will have the market fucked up. our crew got next. money coming in fast drugs going out fast. every week like 30thousand. ninjas couldn't tell my ninjas anything. meanwhile, I'm at home coming out in the daytime. my ninjas handling the night side of things. we had shit locked down. the block was lit at that time. everybody like brothers ninjas fight but we get right back together. up and down the block people ran in and out of the block to get work.

    When shit gets hot you get the burner and handle business. ride around looking for who you got beef with. fuck what ninjas think get this money. you better be willing to go all out in this game. the only way to go is to the top. you better get your shit together out here. when the money is low robbing and stealing become a part of your everyday living. you will do anything to put food on your plate right. mask on with the baby nine full clips and one in the chamber. this is how real ninjas get down when their back is to the wall never forget that. everything looks easy from the man that has nothing point of view. he's always down when it comes to doing anything for the money.

    What does it take for a street ninja to get out of the streets? you have to plan yeah first it was the drug game. dealing 24/7 1st ave to 7ave. you know when your name is popping up when the streets and jails talk about you. tell me what the fuck ninjas want from a ninja-like me. yeah, I walk around with that dot in my hand. Damu gets this money and stops worrying about what ninjas think about you. keep your head on getting this money. I was never the type that talked about all of the cars and clothes and jewels I got because I don't have that. I'm from the mud where when it rains ninjas get wet. so never cross me when you speak to me about crossing me use status.

    When you're in a gang they expect you to be down for whatever. some gang members get money. as for me, I put in work when I was a young soldier and now I'm calling shots. there's a lot of Sex Money Murder that does positive things. take me for example I'm giving back the knowledge that was given to me. nobody wants to die at a young age. the game can and I'm going to say this again you can die from the game. you have to be headstrong with two bullets one on each arm in the form of the cross. the left arm in and the right one out and people wonder why I don't give a fuck. play with God and Jesus if you want. in the come of seven days.

    The dark man X we did business in these streets. whoever says it is not true ask kiss why he said the dog can't beat it Sin. who is the one that put all of your favorite rappers in this game. I ain't playing my money was put into all of these black record labels. what I have blessed myself with let know man take that from us. shit get hot yeah I'm rolling with the punches that the world has thrown at me. the game doesn't change ninjas changed it the same shit just a different day. getting down at any cost out here you have to pay attention to what's going on. if one of your friends dies you are supposed to strike back right. if ninjas tell that's what they call telling and I couldn't go out like that.

    The moves ninjas make can get you in trouble. you have to grind until the day you die. looking in my eyes you see a person that will do anything to stay on top. what are you doing on these streets and selling drugs hustling every day and night? trying your best to play strong if you are trying to stay in this game. when the last days come you will know it. you never let yourself down. try to keep yourself happy and maintain everything that goes on in your life. buying clothes and cars and houses yeah it's fun but when them people come you better have bail money or else you'll go to black justice and nobody want to be there. so stay positive and handle yours to the max.

    When everybody comes together to get this money everybody can eat. it's good to see people putting their differences aside to grow together. everybody needs help in this game. do your thing bro can't knock the hustle. build and plan help people become wiser in this game. it helps the people in need to become more faithful to the code that anyone can get the money together. you take what you see and help others see what you see. HW to BK is a good look that's what I've been saying all this time, ninjas gotta put their pride to the side and learn from one another it's enough money out here for everybody you just have to be willing to get it.

    Murder put your hard hat on before you step to me. yeah, we run the streets and don't get put in the body bag for real. ninjas think I'm playing this that gangster call right. fuck the money it's about who's real in these streets. you made your bed now lay in it. I'm laying down with no remorse feel me. take care of all of that gangster shit you talk about, we got young ninjas ready to ride. sex money murder continues to get this money. that's all I see and trust me when I get on or should I say when I open up my company a lot of people are going to be good. ghost what it hit for peeping eyesight. laid it down and the baby nine let loose at any time.

    You never know what God has in store for you. all of us are getting older and time is passing us by because we're not together. it has taken everything out of me not to get mad at you. you are the queen of this castle. you got a person like me holding my head up. the more I get in touch with myself stronger this relationship will be. please do not count me out with the love I have for you. you are the one that makes me feel good. the last time I felt like this I was a young kid with all of y'all in my life. the more we do for each other the more we will gain from the world.

    The work you have to put in for what you want. you have to gamble with your dreams if you want them to pay off. the only way you can make your dreams come true. you have to pay attention to everyone that's around you. being in this business is hard as hell but you stand up and stand your ground. the way the world is set up you have to grind until you can't grind anymore. the life you want to live you have to protect your hustle at all times. the game does not let it pass you by. you stand as a man and take care of what needs to be taken care of.

                                                               CHAPTER 80

    So I'm cuisine in the seven but I never told. a lot of people can't say that. people get locked up and be out the next week. I'm glad I played the game this way. contact box of condoms locked for safe sex and for hopping the train and that's it. never nothing real bad. trying to stay off the 12 radar as much as I can. all I want to do is get money. lay back and handle my business. street life isn't going anywhere. that's not the time I'm on. watch who's watching you. connecting all of my dots. stay on the low.

    When she loves everything about you. you hold her tight and never let her go. the hustle is real at the end of the day. are you with me for what I can do for you or are you with me because you love me. there's nowhere I will rather be than with you. you help me keep my cool. when times get hard that's why you are my ride or die. there are a lot of men and women in the world but we choose each other. that says a lot about us. we have the same thing in mind and that's taking care of our business, we have a connection forever.

    I had to pop one of these people. what the fuck do I have to do. to be apart from all of this bull shit. I shot his ass and it felt good. I love them but people do not have to call me bad words. my grandmother said that's not my child. so I had everything to do with her. I'm under blood and it's hard daddy. but to get this out of the way. I will come back to you. I do not want anybody else. you make me so happy when I'm with you. I will not do anything behind your back and that means you can not do anything behind my back. I would like to make love one more time. before I leave to go to heaven. 

    But who would I lay down with? the lady that I lay down with. I want a baby by whoever that may be. it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl I will be there. there's a lot of love inside of my heart. I'm waiting for you to bring it out of me. the last time I made love to you I was 13 years old. that's a long time ago. I have been through things and I was fighting to get back to you. people don't know what's going on with us. we had fun inside for a while baby. I wish it didn't have to end. I wish it could last forever baby. I hope that our love is still there. I will not enter anyone inside of our love.

    As hard as it is I'm stacking this paper. dot came back home. I got her for real and are you alright. there's a boy that wanted to be on TV. so he went for a part on a TV show. he got the part of playing a gangster. he had to sell drugs and carry a gun on him. he had a set of boys that was a bad group of kids. they went around robbing people and murdering people. one of the boys goes to jail. we are going to a football game and then we are going to the after-party. a lot of girls are going to be there. it's going to be fun and maybe we will be able to have sex with them and some of them will go home with us.

    You know what that means don't you yes. alright so get your act together. I'm likely to find out what happens. when you go to the heavenly gates. I need my family to be with me and I need my kids. but I need some help do you understand that. the moves we make are good for now. everybody knows I'm working hard. but there's more to do. I will do it until the end of time. for us as a family together is the right thing to do by accomplishing our dreams. there are a lot of big-time drug dealers that watch my back out here. because they know my father. 

    Fuck those other men that have beef with what I'm trying to do. this is for me and nobody else can handle a man's business like I'm going to handle my own. that's why I do my thing by myself. I am going to be the last mother fucker breathing. I hope you know I'm not letting anything go. I'm going to keep getting money. why do you funny style people feel hate in your mind? I must a meant I'm doing my thing on the low and know 12 on my back. so keep handling business that can get you locked up.

    My future holds companies and building for people to work out of. I have to turn everything that my companies stand for into updated items. in the midst of it all, I have to say is for me to stay grounded. help my friends get good jobs to keep money in their pockets. most of all build for a better future with these companies. I figured he has blessed me because of what he knew I could do for him as a man. I can't go out without a fight and the reason I'm fighting is for my family. I need to know help talking to these people out here. talking shit about the kid. I had it up to here with you.

    Killer teen murdering inc where are y'all you and your crew have said nothing since noon-say returned home. everybody had something to say about the kid when I was gone. I promise to raise hell climb to the top of the mountain to find God and guess what he told me that I can do anything that I put my mind to. what more can I do for you in this good life you have prepared. I can't figure this out. why when I left y'all said that people ran me out of town. but when one of you gets popped your hold set breaks up and all of that money came to me by hustling. 

    I got this shit by doing not by sitting around. things that men do to you isn't called for. you need to mess with a real man one that handles his. taking you out is not anything to a person like noon-say. Jesus blesses people that are in his blessing, not people that had something to do with him nailed to the cross. that's why nothing good comes out of it. everything comes from you doing good. to tell the truth when I came to New York City from B-ham. traveling out of town to make drug sales and then I left and went back down south. people got signed to Roc-a-fella records.

    It's always a problem but for me to get involved with that. then what's next somebody gets a body and who goes to black justice right. I'm trying not to get back on my bull shit but they make a man like me get back on his shit. I can tell that you are watching me while I'm watching you. kids are alright and shorty I know that. let's dance and hold hands for a long time. may you help me out with what I'm feeling? this earth is changing days goes by and nothing has changed with you which means you are changing. I get down whenever and for whatever. what can I say that I trust you. well, it's not that many people out there that I can say I trust boo.

    What's your purpose in life well my purpose for life isn't to take but to give what I didn't have and that's my father. not because he didn't want to be there, but because I think they knew who I was. what's the main reason you work so hard I want to set goals for myself and let my kids know that they can do anything they put their minds to. you have to love what you do. so you can have fun doing it. I know by having this dark spot on my hand means I will enter the light and whoever is with me will follow me where I go. I think my heaven is different from everybody else. what I have found out from being out of town makes me believe in Jesus Christ. I know that I can wake his soul up. it doesn't matter if he's in heaven or in life itself. people say he will return and I believe that.

    There's a knock on the door. it's this man named 2say he's a man that's fighting for his business to do better. this one man worked his ass off for his family. making them feel better about themselves. he stops going to school at a young age. he was in these streets. he had his family at a young age but his children's mothers went on taking care of the kids. that they had with him. He was forced to go hang out with his friends go to parties and do things like that. at a young age, he was mad but he didn't show it. drugs became a part of his lifestyle. he also was in this drug game. things became hard for him. I didn't know what my family was doing or what they were going through at that time. in my mind, my family was supposed to be there for me in those hard times.

    I was making money and all of it was going to my girlfriends and their kids. in my mind I am a good father to my kids because everything that they want they get it. it doesn't matter. for the most part, we were a family that had everything. I'm not saying it like that but we were alright. I made sure every holiday we had. I know money isn't everything. I can't understand why the setup was in order but you know what I said about that fuck them and my father's family was with me at a time of need. I promise myself when the time comes I will close everything and anything that they have. if it had to be like that for that problem as people. I know I promise myself that I wouldn't say the N-word but some people deserve it. my whole life without my father but I am a man. people look in different ways to wake me up.

    I can understand what Nas meant in the thug mansion. I can't cry but it's killing me from the top of my heart. you touch down from being out of town without knowing will I be back but who cares about my family that was up there. why do people call their girlfriends hitches? sometimes females make us heartbroken and we can't take that from them, but as long as I got a mother, I will not call you a hitch. Finding myself meant for me to find us as a family. I rather have it this way. I'm God's Body to my kids I do love you. I know when I sent you to school I know some girls didn't like you. but I didn't sin you to school to fight. so wake told me what happen and me being your father got me upset and guess what I handle it like a man. I wonder why people had to die because first come you and you know that.

    I just pray for my death in hands of another person. these thoughts keep coming but my daughter Layla keeps a person like me on the right path. who murdered me you've been making drug deals with the other side. it's nothing new to me. but I got people that get down for me. why do you think you got hit. I meant that my love is strong but not stronger than what was done to me. I meant that hard times came and I had to depend on these streets. it prepared me for what was in these streets. The grind by hustling I don't want in anymore. but I can't get out right now. so I'm handling mine and nobody's going to stop me. performing is that what you want out of everything, yes, I must a meant that Harlem is at its best but I don't respect everyone that's in here don't ask me why. you have to live your life and take care of your dreams and only good will come from it.

    Don't set trip when it's on and that's from the heart. don't worry about that handle yours feel me ESCE. when my death became true handle yours right now and don't worry about anything that you need to be worried about is me. if that's what they won't give them war and don't be scared of them. when you have me right by your side. we can handle whatever it is. you rather be awoken why is it that I'm sleeping because of you. not all but why would I lie and stay stronger than anyone out there. People couldn't hold me down for long. you're right I was out of town. but I'm thinking about the get back. since my drug money didn't ever stop. it doesn't matter if I had to do it hand to hand or keys and pounds coming over here for me. a lot of things don't get to me. when it's about my family then it becomes a problem. the question is where I have been. I'm here now and to do for you is not a problem with me.

    The direction that I'm going in. I hope you are following me because it's the best place that you could be and it's a great place to raise children. out for all that these companies can give me. the act has grown that's what ladies are looking for in a man, not men that just want to use there you know what. having kids isn't a game many kids are having kids. but the question are they ready for what's in store. What crossing me means for them fuck the other side. I saw the south not just visiting it being out there with guns. breaking you down. not where you at. it wasn't that important. it's four told when you ask blank about what we went through but l's knowing it's hot fuck it sent ATF to the house I'm going out in cuffs. 2months isn't that long for me I will do it.  

    Going to the next step thanks to Layla. how can I get out of that check it? just stay focused on home and every moment will help you out. trouble some acting as 2pac will say warning as biggie smalls would say. riding with guns ready to find who we are looking for status is now turned on 101. sex money murder has bones to pick with you. so don't get caught up. Looking from the outside looking inside of the home that I take care of looks good. to fail the way I grew up isn't right for me and you know why. I think I might need help from an angel from heaven. can't count you out what does that mean. I have my angels watching me and every move that I make. a place where there's no fighting or crimes or dying twice, the only thing is coming back to earth.

    Hell can't call me to go down there but me not knowing am already in hell. there are a lot of deaths. people are into too many drugs. as black people, we are showing our kids that the game is alright. I can't believe that they cross me for money. when it wasn't my time to die but you know what you help me because there's a lot of people that praise me. I try not to be out at night because anything can happen. The pain part of my stories is under God. I miss my mother a lot and I will make sure that I see her again. just to be here with me with my writing it feels good to be so far in my thoughts. the path that I was on wasn't the right one. my girlfriends don't want me to sell drugs again wasn't the best move that I made but a lot came from it. like having a lot of money building businesses.

                                                               CHAPTER 81

    This is how you want it I mean problems to all who go against sporty. how many more days do I have to take this from you. you wanted to be on top and that's what you got. I'm working to better my life and thank God for all that I am blessed with because without him this wouldn't be possible. it wasn't just for me to come up. it was for me to get back in my kid's life.

    There was a man. that wanted to be a businessman. when he was young he hustles anyway to get his money. building companies at a young age. when he was sixteen he invested in this one company. the company is doing the best it could do. when it first started. it's like any company he invested in is doing big numbers. he made plans to get his business taken care of at a young age. so he wouldn't have to work that much when he got older. he had dreams of making a zillion dollars. that was the goal that he set for himself.

    This man did everything to keep his business running the right way. when his business first started. he had to go out of town to handle the street business first. on the bus riding down south. he looks like this isn't going to be easy but fuck it. getting down south March 23, 1998. it's hot as fuck just leaving the cold. family members ran up to me to see where my heart at. I ran to the house and they ran after me. running into the house grabbing this big knife and meeting them before they got to the house.

    Then when they found out I was a real person they respected me. first, it started off playing basketball in backyards in the dirt. all of my family members were in a gang. then three of my other family members moved down south where I was at. I started my own set. we had like seven members. we use to travel like 30 blocks to go to the park to play basketball. we started meeting a lot of people down there. they started showing us a lot of love even when they found out we were from New York City, it didn't matter to them. 

    We formed a basketball team together. we started going to other places playing them. in that unfaithfulness started. I hated it because the people I love were wondering what was I doing out there. the girl was from queens. my guess is the rule had it set up. she travel down south. when 50 cents was coming up. I'm like let me get this out of the way. The next thing that happened I got sick and my family was on my mind. On 10/31/2000, I got locked up and when I came home, I knew I couldn't touch another female.

    So going on without having sex. I knew 17 years looked long but fuck it. running around with the wire at all times. my thoughts I have to get back to New York City. hustling every day I was down south handling family business. I had to keep that thing with me. my mind was changing for the better becoming a man is all I wanted to do. knowing I had children on the east coast. yeah, this young man was gambling with his life. it's easy how people forget. what you did for them.

    In this game, you have to bring your game. never let anyone tell you that can't do something. the willingness to hustle got me to this place where I'm able to take care of my family. yeah, it's hard but you have to do what you have to do right. bear with me and I will bear with you. we all can come up at the same time. you never know how hard a person is working until he starts to show what he has. there's no need for people to know what I'm working on. until I want them to know.

    This life we live comes from the streets. anyone that wants to stay in these streets got the wrong idea about what life is. living well never watching for 12 feel me. going to school I wish I went but at that time. I had a family that had to be taken care of with no questions asked feel me. yes, I'm in it but when you make a way to get out of this game is the best feeling in the world. you never know where this game will lead you. make things go your way and stay on your job at all times. one that knows his or her worth. meanwhile, improvement is a must.

    Something just doesn't feel right. maybe she's in another man's arms. how can I get over this? when she promises me the best life if I wait for her. you told me so much and now I'm wondering is it true about what I hear about you. she's my pride and joy. I'm sorry but there's no way we can be together because of who's cheating on me. my heart is at a standstill with these thoughts that run through my mind. I had enough I want to walk out and start over. only God knows how I feel. dear Lord, I'm sending my blessing to you.

    I only want one thing out of life and that's to take care of my family. She's telling me to look at the bigger picture. I like it when you give your all in a bad situation. she brings out the best in me. you make all of my dreams come true. tell me are you feeling me cause I'm feeling you. let's take the next step and that is getting closer to each other. I think about you all the time. I'm trying to give you all of the things that my lady wants. I'm less worried because you are cared for and I'm never giving up on this life.

    If what you are doing is true keep moving on. I'm not here to watch what you are doing out here on these streets. if you want to be with someone else be my guess. she is telling me to calm down ain't nothing happening. am I supposed to believe her? loyalty is hard to come by so if you have someone that you trust take care of them. it's nothing more you can ask for than a woman that does not lie to you. her word is trustworthy yes that's all I ask for. doing that will get you whatever you want. time will only tell if she's the one for me.

    It's like you want to bring the worst out of me. I'm trying to keep a level head. when she moves the way she moves and you know she's cheating. phone calls at night and she's telling me it's her friend in the back of my mind maybe it's my fault. you take my kindness as a weakness. I'm about to get up and find the strength to move on. tomorrow you want me to see your child. I can't figure this out one minute it's this and the next minute it's that. I'm happy to see her but the thought of knowing makes me feel good like yes I know the answers.

    When times get hard you stayed by my side. I promise to take care of you. from this day forward trust me. please do not let me down. what do you want or should I say what can I do for you, the love of my life. you are the only one I see with good intentions. take my hand let's walk down the block smiling at the same time tears are in our eyes. the world is hard but if we pray we will get through it. the heart wants what the heart wants and that's you. follow my lead and I will not lead you down the wrong path trust me.

    Anything is possible when you put your all into what you are doing. when I was out of town. I lost 2 of my friends down there. yes, we were turned up. a lot of people were repping boss stomp. ninjas had a price on my head. ninjas that had money on my head aren't here anymore. walking with this ground beneath me. my brother telling me to handle my business. I'm trying to make all of us proud of what we do. running in these streets. ninjas know the call boil you. that's a calling that we use when we was out of town.

    Come back like Jordan wearing the 45. ninjas play too much you never had her. when she got on the plane it was seven females like the seven sisters in the Ten Commandments. she knew the calling was to come inside of here asap. and she did just that with no questions asked. shorty gave me life and with her. I can do anything in this world I put my mind to. walking from a distance down south got to the beauty shop and barbershop. guess who walks in the door Layla as she walks past me I got right up and walks into the room love at first sight.

    When the blood started at 93. yes, it was hell in New York City. everybody running around with the ox on them. ready and willing to handle their business feel me. it was all a part of the game that we were in. buck fifty was one of the ways that you can get down or 031. either way, you have to go through one or the other. back then everyone wanted to be down with it. streets turning up and one thing females couldn't deny dog unless you had a 101. as for me my 101 was handling her business apart from me and best believe she attached herself to me. where she can never leave me again.

    When you know the street life isn't working. you have to get a job to provide for your family. being in these streets isn't all that it cracked up to be. running from 12 and you never know when 12 coming with that indictment. I'm not trying to go to black justice know time soon. when the connection says you can't get out because we making so much money. you try your best to stay out of the way. when the exchanges are going on. when there's money and drugs ninjas get greedy. what do you tell a ninja that's eating too much to stop being greedy?

    Ninjas have to understand that you handle business with your friends. if everyone handles their business. everything will move smoothly nobody wants to go to black justice. my friend and I trying to get out of the game and get into this rap shit. all my ninjas are nice with this microphone. we all put that work in. you do not always have to be a street ninja. street ninjas trying to get out of the streets. let me tell you one thing we have to take our time with this rap shit, trust and believe it's coming to us feel me.

    Now you know I'm not the type to be played with. moving on don't worry I have no feelings. my heart is blank after my shorty passed away that's why I'm not hanging around ninjas. who set me up maybe I can forgive but it's hard to forget, young ninjas. getting all of this money. Watch ninjas close feel me. when you rest up it's more that's in your corner why not love me when I'm here. the battle is a must and there's nowhere to run. it's deeper than rap with me. yes, I started with nothing and now I'm at my best.

    You should always know your place in these streets. everybody trying to be a boss nowadays. you should know right from wrong while you in this game. strip ninjas with no problem. all of this gangster shit that's going on in these streets but when them folks come please do not start telling. you should always stay in line and mind your business. when street shit happens you keep your mouth closed. you should already understand the street codes. if you do not know them you better learn quickly.

                                                                     CHAPTER 82

    When you are balling can't anybody stop you. you need to stop acting out all of the time. what's the difference between a ninja that gets money and got money. no, I'm not chasing the paper. I'm laying back when it's all over we will see who has the bigger pockets. you have to know how to manage your money. you have to stack and save what you make. just in case you don't know wherever the money coming from. you never bite the hand that feeds you. you control what you want and do not let anyone tell you differently.

    Dealing with a drug empire is hard and it takes a lot out of you. you have to make sure the money is sent to who's supposed to get it. you have to make sure you get the shipment. you have to get it to everyone in the inner cities. you have to make sure you have a strong team that won't brack when 12 come looking. you can't tell your friends. you have to stand tall at all times. this drug dealer said you can't use force. you have to use brains because when bodies start disappearing. that's when 12 dig deep and try to bring an indictment on you and your friends.

    When you been grinding since 1991 a year after my uncle passed away. my heart has been cold from that day forward and can't anyone tell me differently. the hustle doesn't stop watching what's coming in from overseas. when the drugs and money add up there's no way you can be mad at who works for you or the connect that's sending the work overseas. patience is a must and the most important part that you have to have when you are on these streets. yes, I have so much coming overseas and I cannot let 12 lock me up because if 12 do. I might not ever come home.

    What's the plan you might ask well here it is playing both sides can get people missing leading you. you can take a horse to the water but can you make it drink. I'm not calling people out a lot of shit happened to us. when I mean us I mean you lou and coo co and Jamie o. who did the killing well I guess I will never know. it's a Harlem thing. sometimes I think about what I know and if you weren't there you can't talk about it. these others say big up to them. the war has been on since before my time. damn dot let it loose the rain happened one time.

    Meanwhile, I'm sipping on something to drink. she is in the cut smoking a blunt getting high as ever. you know me I'm on my way to see if I can get myself a dance. she was in the club partying like there was no tomorrow. so as I pull up she saw eye contact. she started moving toward me. we met halfway shorty bad as fuck. I'm thinking this is one that I want to take home with me. then I asked her what's her name and she said my name is sexy. I said that's the part of the set that I'm in. and she said for real.

    What's the pressure of the thought of you haven't eaten. that's where the gunplay comes from. robbing people with no remorse being in this game yes problems happen. it's all about what you do when the pressure is on. knowing she wants a baller. not a man that works for his the right way. it isn't enough money in this game. you have to be a kingpin that gets more than 70 tons flying by planes or by trains or by buses or by boats traveling and the shipment coming over to the U.S.A. the only thing I'm telling myself is to handle that time if I get caught.

    Not a day goes by that I do not think of you. you are the rock of this family. letting the kid know that you care about me and that's what I love about you. trust me you make my day go by smooth. wherever you are it doesn't matter what time you call I'm there. how come when I write something you tell me what I'm talking about or should I correct what I am saying. letting me know that you are reading what I am writing makes me feel good. it's times like this that I need a women's touch. you know you are the only one for me. my shorty different I brag different.

    So when you listen to that 2pac shit. you feel like you imitated the other side. whoever is not with you move on. the way I move bomb first we can never do business together. you have to make your moves so you can take care of what your future has in it. the hitches will always be there and I'm not taking shots. I'm quoting a line from New Jack City. I can remember on July 4th me and big tab in the car with my uncle Clyde and driving down the 155 bridge. my uncle stopped and then hangs a man over the bridge then we drive to 8ave uncle lit a firework under the car we almost blew up a bonafide hustler.

    You get this money no matter what's the case. my ninjas telling me so let's do the damn thing. I'm telling them I'm falling back and stacking this paper. you are in the mix with this street life. that's because I'm handling my business for real. you have to be a stand-up man that the streets respect feel me. whatever you do, do it to the max, you might lose sometimes. you might fall but you get right back up and stand on your two feet. that's what a man does, the game doesn't change just keep handling the tasks that are thrown at you.

    I built this empire. I can't let them get involved with what I am doing if you want to do business with them go ahead. no fucking way I'm getting money with people that set me up. connection heard that call and got it to me asap and I'm addicted to getting this money. I'm not mad tell others to get their money. as long as my shorty straight building a company so she shouldn't have to worry about anything. it's a double-take flash that crosses my mind and it tells me. people ain't to be trusted. where do we go from here? I know where I'm going and that's to the top.

    Thinking about what's mine can only mean one thing. it does not mean mine at all. things have to change for the better as a community, no one man can make all of this happen. times are only getting harder for us. we need to stand together as a people and stop killing one another. the more we unite the better our chances are starting a new beginning. yes, have faith strive for what you believe in. and never let anyone tell you differently. we need to stand together as one unit and stop letting people separate us. let's get back to loving each other as a family.

    When friends turned foe and I'm not talking about my ninjas. as I get deep into this movement that's going on. lord, please bless me some more. I know I didn't do everything right as you wanted but I'm here to make up for my mistakes. should I or should I not trust a female. I have daughters to teach what's right I can't afford to make a mistake ever again. you bring me so much joy this life wouldn't be the same without you here on earth. yes, it was hard but I overcame the life that I used to live and fuck the world until I'm gone.

    The thought of me and you raising our children together. there's nothing in the world I wouldn't want to do but be there for you and my family. I know it's all or nothing, she's telling me enough is enough. God's watching over me and the lady that controls this life that I'm in. the way she looks at me tells me she wants what's best for me. spending time together that's all she wants from me and who am I not to give it to her. eye contact is a must undress each other minds now that's what I'm working on.

    All I can say is do your best, stay out of the way, and please do not hustle backward. know you are at your best. going out all fucking night know I'm just playing, what's on my mind is this writing that's the way I hustle. yes, you can say what you want to say about me. I'm never changing up my ninjas will stay my ninjas. I can't wait until this is over. my ninjas stay rolling deep in these streets. S.M.M. at the end of the day we are a money gang feel me if you ain't about getting money stay out of my way.

    When you deal with people that you get money with it makes the trust better and stronger. staying in this game yes it's hard but the grind is what I love about it. you stand up and make what you have the best that you have and never let anyone take that from you. showing off to the people that love you the most. always looking out for you and you looking out for me. you the best thing that ever happened to me, you are my strength the way we talk every night is a blessing. yes, we can move at your pace, I'm never rushing you.

    So if you say I’m one in a million. I foresee every single thing you did for me. you treated me you trick me into believing you are by my side. oh, you are not by my side you are inside of me. my world is inside out and this works for you to have my back to the wall right and you telling me how else you are supposed to move forward. I always listen to you because you tell me what I want to hear and you make things come true for me and that’s why I believe in you. you always were my go-to girl all right.

    For someone to give the other person options. it's your choice if you want to be on these streets. holding onto something that wants to run the streets. isn't a good look for me. I want what's best for you and that's why I'm giving you options. I want to make sure your life is as easy as it could be. Watch your every move asking me what time I'm getting in the house. I like it when you keep me posted on what you are doing, thank you for telling me your moves. am I wrong for expressing what's going on in our life?

    What do I plan on getting out of this work? one a better future for you and me and our children. working hard means putting in the time that needs to be put in. and having gratitude. overcoming anything bad that the devil put in your way, always listening to what God has to say. planning at all times. growing day by day with your family. taking care of your responsibilities, taking action for what you do. manning up and never looking down on people. taking the time to understand what your partner is talking about. you and your partner standing side by side.

    Trying to find out what she wants. the best thing for me to do is fall back. maybe I need to try to talk to her. so I can make sure everything is okay with her. you never know what a female is doing. they keep all of their business to themselves. trying to figure out what she likes or should I say what she loves to do if she's not one with you or trying to help you accomplish what you are trying to achieve. let her know how much you love her and show her when you come to an understanding that the world is small. the more you prepare for life.

    You want a baller one that’s going to trick on you, when you go to the club you are looking for a man that’s buying bottles and one that’s in his new gear. check this is what a man is looking for a woman with a phat ass and nice hips and tits looking nice as hell. that combination is what the man and ladies are looking for. what if that man can’t spend his money because it’s in his bank account and his spending limit is low when I want to open up a business and spend the bank account money I can but not yet.

                                                           CHAPTER 83

    Know you better she keeps asking me what I do for money. I handle business why is it so important to you. I’m grinding to put food on the table. you get mad when I stay out all night. I want you to know I’m not sleeping with another woman. I’m in and out of meetings taking care of us. you have to trust me when we first met I told you I’m a businessman. you like all of the finer things in life. you spend whatever your heart desire. I’m working hard every day to keep you up in all of the designer clothes and nice whips and all of the diamonds.

    You know I miss you. this place you put me in being here without you. sometimes I blame myself for you not being here anymore. walking with you on my mind over and over. it seems like it’s taking forever for me to go to heaven to see you. what’s better than having faith that you are waiting for me at the pearly gates up above. when the man upstairs asks me did I cross you. I’m going to look him right in his eyes and say no I didn’t and thank you to God for believing me.

    You expect me to fix the problem when I do everything for you. I ask for little things to get done and it doesn’t get done. taking care of the same people all of my life. sometimes I think about moving on and changing my life by getting women that want to help me handle this business that I have when I ask what do you do for me and you can’t tell me. that means you have done nothing for me. you want me to take care of you and provide what you need right. you can’t just have it your way because there are other people with their lady by their side handling their business.

    Changing a women's mind can be so hard. she feels like I have changed but I’m telling her I’m still the man that she knew when we were young nothing has changed. I respect you I’m letting you know I don’t mind taking care of you. I want to come to the table with work. seeing you yes I want to and you know that I’m trying to follow my heart and stand up for you. my last post is supposed to be me telling you how I’m not feeling. why would I take this away from you? when you are the love of my life.

    Growing up is a wonderful thing. I want to know if you have my back out here. if not remove yourself from my life, this is one of the days that is going down in history. you know you are my queen. please don’t stress me out talking about you walking out of my life, and if so I’m good with that. is she doing her thing and if so I have to find a woman that’s faithful to me. this isn’t a game you better women up understand and be here before other women take your place if I lay down with another woman I’m never looking back for anything except for my daughters.

    Starting a new beginning what you know about sticking by your women's side and your women sticking by your side. this is what we have been doing since the beginning of time. I never want to leave this relationship that we built. I’m all for giving people chances in life. the way you look at me like there’s no other person that can replace me. this is the shit I’m talking about when we trust one another. you have to compromise with each other. you know that I’m putting my all into this relationship.

    Love what you know about connecting to someone's soul. this is what I and Aaliyah my middle name is Elijah and people believe in Allah and I have this dot on my hand. if you do not believe the connection that we share that’s on you. I wonder why this has to be true in the third eye that I have in my hand. people say Jesus sits on your hand because you put your hands together when you pray right. I thought so if this isn’t true tell me what it means. holding this love that I have for you. I’m only messing with females that you trust.

    The only problem I have with this is putting you in the position that you were in. if people just tell the truth about why groups broke up and people's money stopped. yes, it’s because I came back home and it was only right. I couldn’t get money and had all of these distractions going on. Harlem had to be quiet while I concentrate on my work. people say everyone sticks together. the setup was real and I can’t forget it. putting my baby next to him, if it was real why in every picture your next to me next too because it’s not true.

    Speculation this is why this man has to stop giving anything to whoever crosses me over money. You stand strong if you look deep into what I am saying, Noah look let me break this down take the on out of Ellison and take the ah out of Aaliyah that’s the connection that I was talking about. Do you think it’s a game I can go all the way with her by my side? you showed me so much and it only gets better. the one that I trusted isn’t here anymore or should I say she’s inside of me.

    The cheating part is over. the only reason I went out was that you told me you wanted me to get my wings so I can fly to heaven. imagine me without my wings what direction was my life headed when I pass over. she helped ease the pain right, you have to be down to earth for you to become one with the sun. I’m never giving up on you I know I will see you when I’m at the crossroads. my whole life depends on you because I will never look at another woman the way I looked at you. maybe one day you will send me a special woman but until then my love is for you.

    Baby don’t go when you came to my house, you had the ox in the mouth and spit it into your left hand and slash me on the face. I ran to the store and got a band-aid and put it on my face. I never thought about nailing another female. when you told me I have to go out and handle my business. I thought you were leaving me. now I see it for what it’s worth. you did this for us coming back inside your rib. I understand sister you wanted to keep me covered while I’m out here on these streets.

    I’m only human so you have to take your time with me, growth yes it’s a wonderful thing. all of this time I put in my life but if I didn’t put this time in who would’ve. I want to keep going if God let me keep writing I will continue to let my mind be blessed. you wait for this relationship to approach then you will appreciate it and you wouldn’t have to apologize for anything in this world. through my ups and downs, this is what made me the man I am today and I will remain this man until I go to the other side.

    You were right and I was wrong, I know the time has caught up to me but I want you to take an easy and think about what you are going to do to me. I want this to go away and never come back to me. I made my bed and now I have to lay in it. all of these feelings are in my heart because you are thinking about leaving me. I’m trying to get things right back where they were when we first started it takes a lot of patience and dedication on my part and trust me I’m working on it right now.

    Being strong you travel through life not knowing what God has in his plans for you. so you take the tasks that he has given you and when you look up you will see all that he has blessed you with. you know the ends and out to life never fails and stand strong, you should always want to better yourself. your best bet hustles the right way, so your family can sleep at night. you should love your life and make moves that your family appreciates. you have a long way to go, so play the game the way you are supposed all right.

    All I need is for you to make my mind and soul feel some type of way and I don’t want to let this feeling go. I can be your Noah and you can be the queen that walks with me. life and death exchange three times and I’m still here with you. I will not let anything come between us, you are a lady in the streets but get real nasty in bed. this is the type of woman I’m looking for and she said you don’t have to look anymore I said all right when times get hard will you be by my side and she said yes.

    You learn valuable lessons as you get older, I don’t want women that depend on me to do everything. if I’m making the money she can use some of it to invest it in multiple companies to bring money into our business. one that is well educated and know how to be a woman. I’m all for working hard and including her in my business moves. this way if anything happens she will be responsible to take care of our family. I know it’s been a long time since I had sex with anyone but I’m looking for the right one to build with.

    Sitting here trying to make up my mind on which way to go. I’m trying to figure out if I want to stay here in your life. this hasn’t been easy I put my all into this relationship right I know that you want this to work right or if not walk out now. who can tell the way our life will end up if we continue to fight. you got me looking crazy I need a break to sort out my feelings because it feels like this isn’t what you want, I hope you make up your mind. this is the path that the kid has taken and it seemed like it was a good idea but I guess I’m wrong.

    Changes you have to be willing to put your life on the line for others. this is what a man would do to bring our brothers together. this thing called writing helps my mind release stress. this is how I get my point across, and if you can’t understand that. it’s like us coming together is hard but guess what if we do we will see more and a better outcome in life. why sit here and act like we are helpless. this is when we are supposed to wake up but guess what we are still sleeping if one mind can overcome then guess what we all can.

    I have to look for women that keep a man guessing what’s under her clothes. One that I can take home to my mother. as a man, I have to be real picky about the women I want to spend the rest of my life with. there are thousands of beautiful women that keep her self faithful. I can’t make you change but I have to look carefully. settling down giving another woman half of what I have. when she feels like she wants to walk out she can. you have to make good choices when it comes to picking a woman.

    Seeking someone to be in a relationship with should be the easiest thing in the world but nowadays females look for men with money. that’s a lot of females' downfall because if you look for love you will find happiness. halo when I was with you. the disrespect that went on that day. I’m trying to make this right but what if you left me. where do I start how many times we could make love? I know you weren’t ready because we were young and now we are grown and I know things have changed.

                                                          CHAPTER 84

    You are not going to give up at no time. try to acknowledge you are the one that wants more out of life. you should stand firm you should stand in your spot and never let anyone take that from you in this game you can pass away or go to black justice. people get locked up for basically nothing, you can be at the wrong place at the wrong time. you have to watch who you are around. you should want to make a mark in this game. how can you come to terms and realize that street life isn’t popping anymore?

    So this chicken thinks I’m playing with her. how about you can’t get anything else from me. she thinks she got a young player on the ropes but I got a trick for her ass. where am I at the call was for what and the excuse be you had along day? hitch please I want some sex you better watch who you mess with because I’m not the one for playing games. I’m telling you and her half-ass female you better get a job. this is only the beginning you are a straight-up pigeon and this go for all of y’all put some respect on my name.

    You have to do everything to keep people out of your business. so yeah you hide things that you don’t want people to find out. you keep things a secret but if you watch you will see that man getting money. I prefer to stay out of the way. some people want fame and as for me I just want the money. so my family and friends will be good. this is what you get from working hard. you are obligated to take care of the people that support you. you make moves to improve your goals.

    Time will show itself you just have to let things play out. I’m wondering what he’s sitting there thinking or what the people he’s down with is thinking. when shit goes left y’all looked at me like I’m the enemy. so for those that turned their back on me over some shit that was setting me up fuck you. people didn’t have anything to say when people put money on my head. if it wasn’t jealousy one person got a deal and another one turned up, and yes it was lit now when I look back on it. it was for what to prove you are that person that calls shots.

    Three the hard way if AI and EI hook up it’s going to be some real shit then you throw Bleek in it. Rest In Peace prodigy I have the eye of the tiger. this is just us handing our BI in these streets. know all of us come from nothing and made something out of nothing. so yes we are thankful for what God has blessed us with. the grind doesn’t stop when we all connect it’s going to be big. this is a true orientated family. we make moves as one so nobody’s above the other and what brothers do in these streets tical.

    I hold back so many tears crying no more over the loss of you. my body is a temple and it belongs to Jesus. I’m just here temporarily thanks to God for letting me use this flesh. give your all to her and she will give her all to you. what about the lies that one tells. yes, I will pick you up because the love is there. I’m only one man that’s trying his best to be one with the lord. I want to show you that anything is possible if you put your mind to it when you fall that’s another reason to get back up on your feet and try again.

    The year 2000 October 25 I got locked up and didn’t get out until November 4th, 2000. when I was in black justice I was handling this business. when I got out I never touched another female since then and now we are 23years later. I want you to know I did all of this for you. this blood shit ain’t no joke. who want to be locked up behind bars. whoever left the kid like I wasn’t going to get back on my feet. shit, I worked hard for this and I’m reaping the benefits from my action. I want everyone that stood here by my side thank you so much.

    When you want things to go your way but it goes another way. this shit got me pissed off because I’m drowning myself in work but what I want in a relationship. is all of this money doesn’t mean anything without you next to me. the grind is still on for those who don’t believe me. I’m putting up numbers so I can rest easy when I get older. please stand your ground. you know you will never understand what a female is going through nowadays when you respect her you will do everything to keep her happy. so man up and handle your business.

    Substantial being wealthy means the world to me. I know whenever I’m ready to play with the money I can. you build this much wealth so you are proud of your accomplishments. you have to remain the same and the way you remain the same. you have to change your way of living not the way you think. my family keeps me sane and I’m talking about being mentally stable when your mind thinks all day about writing songs it becomes your hobby.

    One thing I want to share, I know it’s possible having a child with another woman can turn this relationship upside down. the reason that has to be talked about is that if you know my story. this is the time g unit was on the rise, yeah I had enemies but through diversity. I owned up to it by telling you and I just want you to know this is another reason the women of my dreams came inside of me. the slash opened up the seven seas cleaning my body and it felt great.

    Hostility please don’t yell at me. I know you are upset about the way I was treating you. this is my apology to you. you know the pain of not knowing, she’s so far away from me thinking God wanted her next to him. the feelings I have about that. let me put my clothes back on and then the next day I had to turn the water on. that’s the beginning of the time when I started to straighten everything out and put things in perspective. growing up as a man-made my family looked at me differently.

    Letting her go is not going to happen, this person has the heart that was found out of town. if we don’t do something right now our children may suffer. let me do my job and take care of you. she made up her mind to enter my soul and be one with me. what more do I have to show you, dying outside but inside I’m fine and to worry about my future now that’s on my mind. you call me when you see a change in life. I replied you got me going in this maze and only you can fix this. so I guess I see you when I get to the other side.

    By showing the one you love that times may get hard. people do not understand what I’m going through. we love one another. getting mad may take the time away from us making love to each other. all I know is yes we can come together. this heart hurts. I want you to know I’m feeling the pain from you not being here anymore. we are supposed to be grown. females cheat and males cheat too. if this is not the case we will be together for a long time. you always find something for us to fight about and I can’t take this anymore.

    Hanging around Harlem back in the days. yeah, you had it locked young please I’m not talking about that. so don’t think I’m speaking on it. when we were young and in one another life. at school asking, you are you all right and that will never happen again. I should nail you buying you whatever you need back then. I want to keep this feeling going on and on. seeing you walking with your little man wondering if he’s mine. so going through murder and thinking did doctors take the love that was inside of me with this dot on my hand anything is possible.

    So here I go again going back on my word. I am getting so tired of this not knowing. I have to prepare myself for the worse and all she can say is to trust her. I don’t know what I want to do, the only thing you have to do is tell the truth about your whereabouts. trust me I’m holding on but holding on to what. I can’t take this back and forth. why am I getting upset I’m supposed to be doing my thing but instead, I’m thinking about the one I miss. I know changing her soul into another woman yes it’s hard.

    Aggressive so where am I if you time $755 by 12years= $108,720. this is where I'm at. you can't fuck with me. this day means the world to me. I'm steady building for us I hope nothing changes with us. if I have to look for another female think about all she will have. you know I'm on it to the fullest. I'm making away for us to eat for life, you hold me down. 123 it's a straight shot to the crib. you made the money I'm just getting the blessing. Sheba, I'm following the rules.

    Modifying the way I love you, you always make me wait to touch you. you know I want to get next to you. you are so smooth and sexy baby you are the best. no man can ask for someone better than you. you treat me so wonderful. I can imagine how you look right now. I'm over here waiting for you to tell me when I can come to see you and I know you have a big bottle of something to drink and a lot of blunts and you got your whip. on the contrary. you are better than being in these streets.

    Digital underground when you have music on the low the people that think you are street smart but you are intelligent in your way. I think going independently ain't so bad but having a machine behind you. you can show your talent to people across the world. albums have to have great numbers and the streams can be amazing, you also have to have a lot of downloads. that's the only way you are going to see money from your album. please take your time writing tracks.

    I'm trying to put money up for my children's future. so my kids will have it if I'm not here anymore with all of the investments I have I know my children will be taken care of. I say this is a beautiful place to birth children and raise children. so when people ask me how I do it I'll say it's for them. putting this in their life makes me an awesome father to my children. I started from the bottom just like everyone else having children at a young age made me into a man and now I stand here proud.

    In telekinesis, it’s hard to read other people's minds. so you will never know what I’m thinking and I will never know what you are thinking. that’s the beauty of thought you have to release it out of your mouth for someone to know what you are thinking. trying to mold a person how you want them to be can be so hard nowadays. you have to find people that are on the same path that you are on. fighting for someone to respect you will take all of your energy trust me.

                                                            CHAPTER 85

    Potential you have to believe in the work that you apply to your career. you have to understand not everyone going to believe in your vision. the beauty of having your thoughts makes you different from everyone else. treat your goals as your priority. when you learn how to write songs, you engage in writing every day. that’s how I feel about my work and you also have to take your time. you have to overcome any obstacles that may come your way.

    You fight and fight but sometimes you have to walk away from the situation you are in. giving too much and nothing is giving back to you. thinking one thing but another thing happens. this is why I keep her close to me. who can you trust when you are in this game? there are so many people gambling with their life. trust me I’m not upset it’s the principal. when you have the right to move you will move on. the issue that you have should be no more and if it continues it’s on you.

    The way you come to an agreement both sides have to take responsibility for one another actions. if I tell you something to get an answer from you. what am I supposed to think when I don’t know anything, the way I miss you? you made my life complete. dancing around feelings and not letting the other one know. Do you think I can read minds? how many kids do fathers have and if it’s not true the pain? undressing what’s going on in the mind of one that can’t hold on anymore.

    The pride you can be the most giving person in the world and things still can go the wrong way. getting out of any bad situation helps you and gives your mind relaxation. sometimes my mind goes through different stages in life. that’s just me becoming a man. I have to look directly into my child's eyes. starting help but it doesn’t fix the problem that you have. to fix a problem you have to address the problem first. what one doesn’t know won’t hurt him right. the way people think or should I listen to what is the truth and move on?

    I drop hits on any track I put my lyrics on, you better get down or lay down. I ain’t here to cause no problems. I have to get the money one way or another. building an organization can be so hard right if you put your mind and zoom down on what you want it will happen. this shit ain’t nothing to fuck with sporty. digging deep down and coming up with this company I appreciate the love that I get. I promise to keep moving forward and never look backward decimal.

    Privacy is clear ninjas lock and load until the death of us. uncle, you don't know how much I miss you. I think this is the reason why I am the way I am sitting in the car with you before you passed over. I don't think I have been right ever since that happened and what makes it worse? the Apple company is building across my heart and I'm going all out if you were here shit would be different and people wouldn't be playing. so I'm here keeping up the rules that we are supposed to live by.

    Coward, you have to man up and take care of my children. I remember ladies use to be at my house 4 at a time I was enjoying my life when I was younger, this was before I was a teenager. I know they had my best heart when I see your feelings come back and I just want you next to me. I can't get over the feelings I have for you, she doesn't put it down like you. I'm telling you your friends is always in our business. you make me want to find out what it hit for nope I'm just playing.

    Opponent Rocafella Still A Company And Hitch I'm Still The Boss. I had an appointment when I was young but Aaliyah told me not to go sign for the company. she told me to meet her in the Bronx or was it in Bk. if I was there fam wouldn't have no say so in the company. I'm out of town and she's in town how come no pictures showed her kissing you and the one when you tried to kiss her? she's ducking you because she knew if she would kiss you. it will be a problem between me and her and her daughter.

    Inspiration I want my children to look up to me. I want to be their role model, I want to let them know anything is possible if you put your mind to it. please don't get caught up in these streets. I know you know better than that. put it down how was the joke did it make you laugh hard you should make your stomach get big and have my baby if I make you smile that hard. you can go down on me or me going down on you or just do a 69 when it's our first time pleasing one another.

    Swahili you are irreplaceable so don't think for one minute that you are not to the right. I'm telling you I will never put you in that position losing me. I can't sit here and take everything from you. this is a relationship for both of us to respect one another. I had to hold my head up the time I had to walk out and yes it hurts me. this time I promise to do my best to make you feel special always. I put this on blood feel me. losing you isn't an option and I need the opportunity to prove it to you.

    Eloquently to the smile you have on your face right now nothing makes me feel better than that if I buy you shoes and clothes and nice whips and big houses. everything that you see you can just purchase it on my shorty. taking you out let me upgrade you. oh, that's what I did for you and now you're balling all over the world. what do you know about your man having all types of money meaning different paper from all walks of the world? this here is a businessman.

    Tragedy when something happens you just want it to go away but I got this feeling in my mind and heart. you saying offering you a drink your pass. I was trying to get you to come over to my house and get faded with me. we could've popped that bottle. I even had a roach clip for you, you could've got high as fuck. I'm tricking like the offer still stands. all of this shit you talk about I can't wait to see if you are telling the truth. I will even pay for a dollar cab for you to get over here.

    The attitude you have to make up your mind. you made your bed now you have to lay in it, you can't be mad at sporty thieves. you should've stopped a long time ago. why I do not listen you warned me about the situation I was getting into but who cares? you gain so much lost a little bit or should I say it in Latin. you tell me how you say a little bit. my fight is to be bigger than anyone but spread love. how many people can say you didn't do good by them and if they say that they're lying alright?

    Playboy when you play with female emotions. you will regret it before you feel any type of way gets your money. this is coming from the top game player. you only see what you want to see. seek in time when the money runs out we are to come together to get that bag. watch what you say to keep the peace out here but if you feel the pain you don't think about what you say. only a man can hold his own in these streets. you never know who wants to get at you. when you are playing this game you play it to the fullest.

    Society running the block all my ninjas got that work. you know this is a full-time hustle all day all night. if you want this money get on your grind. I respect the gangsters but the gangsters are out here taking care of their families. Make sure everyone eats off of this plate and nobody's left out of this thing we call family. you can't get upset about what you have. play your part and handle your business like no other feel me. it's like I'm at the finish line but can't cross it. that's all in my dream.

    Scripture was written by who. this is my scripture and I hope people like it. you are the only mind that has enough strength to be guided by the man upstairs and nobody can tell me differently. this is for those that crossed the kid if the dot is true. the rain happened numerous times, you think thunderstorms and hurricanes did something. feeling the raff from the man itself is nothing to be fuck with. I had to go deep inside of my soul and figure a way out of these streets.

    Realistic let's be serious who's going to leave the mic without hot lyrics? you have to be relevant in this game because if you do not you can lose everything that you work hard for. I can't think back I have to keep moving forward. working every day is a blessing and I thank God. I'm settled with what life has given to me. the only thing I know is I'm getting money and nobody is going to take that from me. you lose some and win some but you live to fight another day. you have to live for today like it's your last day here on this earth.

    Abstract to take the place of a word idea by making it the same idea but using a different word. the freedom to do what you want. succeed and accomplish what it is you are trying to achieve. making away for your family to have a better life out here. morales have to stand for something in life. always take your time in life do not rush anything. be passionate about your goals. and have faith that one day you will transition into this God-fearing man.

    Intimidate when you have to watch yourself because people will force you to do something that you don't want to do. having your mind when that happens there's nothing no one can say to you. you have the right to fight and the right to overcome things. I'm so happy taking care of my family. I grab my arm telling you whatever you are doing I'm here to make sure you don't cross me. I'm working on getting you where you need to be even if it takes my life. I'm willing to do trust me.

    The concrete you have to keep still and never make moves out of fear. you have to be well awake and handle business as it comes. you should always move as you see fit for someone like you to move. pay attention to your surroundings. hold your head up, and never put it down in the line of fire. the most important grind you have is being on top of your game. playing both sides can and will get someone hurt. you have to show what you are made of in these streets. this shit doesn't stop you keep getting money.

                                                              CHAPTER 86

    Performance you should love what you do. you should take pride in your achievements and play the game to the fullest. the one thing that you should do is make plans to better yourself. what if you only have one shot at this? you better make it your best shot and take chances. you should never bow down and always act on what you are prepared for. the goal is to overcome in the eyes of the beholder. make sure you move the right way and always maintain being a stand-up guy.

    Calculate your steps so you know whatever is going on in this cold world. you have to be a monster out there. the way you live straight thug in, your eyes have to be wide awake if you plan on going far in life. it's nothing to take an L. it always depends on how you get back on your feet. understand there are rules to the game and you have to play it to the fullest. if you are going to go out like a soldier. people never understand how one feels about life until you show them that life isn't fair.

    Identification now that I know the truth I can move on. I shouldn't worry about what was done I should try to focus on the future. I have to use my mind for good and not evil, getting money is only one stepping stone for me. I'm trying to keep ninjas around me rich. if every one of your friends is getting the money your team is full of winners right? look-see watch then acts it might take time for you to observe everything but when you find out it wasn't what it was supposed to be you will feel better like the feeling I feel right now.

    The theme you have to write about is something you know. you can't have words all over the place with no storyline. you have to make sure each part connects to the story. that shit right there is hard as fuck but when you love writing you will make sense and the stories will come out just fine. you want the readers to understand what you are saying as if they were in the story when you are a StoryTelling you have to guide the audiences so the suspense of the story knocks them off of their feet.

    Demonstrators I'm showing you that you mean the world to me. I remember when you said this is your goal into my goal. people might say the eye of the tiger has something to do with your departure when I look at our daughter how can I tell her that you gave up your life to help me out when I first saw her I had all red on and a plain red bandanna. looking in her eyes like give me two weeks and I will be in your heart by slashing your temple but her mother is five deep inside me.

    Distraction you can't get out of your character at no time and I repeat at no time. you can't look the other way when something occurs or you can stand up and take action on the situation. you shouldn't have to turn your back for something wrong. you should always stand forward. people like to ignore what they see when they see something happening not me. speak up if something's wrong, you shouldn't be ashamed of telling the truth about what's right. 

    The best part of waking up is knowing I'm waking up with you on my mind. the respect I have for this woman is the highest form of respect you can have for a person. putting things together is a blessing and you let me put this together. you not rushing me to get upset with me because it has to take this long. you are not disappointed in what the outcome feels so much better than you yelling at me for taking this long. God's plan takes time. we all have to be patient and always remember that okay? I'm just letting my family know I'm sending my love.

    I'm interested in what you want out of life. staying humble can get a person messed up in this game. I'm going to make sure my team wins always. I'm not falling know time soon and if that happens I'm getting right back up. how can you impress me and how can I include you in what I am doing out here? the thought of losing you isn't something I want. so stay close to me and find out what I want you to know. There’s no half-stepping incarceration happens to all of us. you have to fight to stay out here on these streets.

    Accommodate what if she's out there sexing whoever that will put me on blast but I can't get mad at who she is sleeping with. tricking damn she said she wants millions in her account. she told me she wants general toast chicken. so that's what I'm going by until I find out something different. cube in the midst of all of this bull shit and I'm not talking about you like that. the trust should be there. what were the long talks about yes my mother telling you everything knowing the respect is there.

    Persevere when shit gets difficult you stay true to who you always was right with. I want you to know that I'm here for the long run. on 25 street shorty what else do you want? I'm making a way for us to eat. I have to be tamed and Aaliyah has to tam me. she's the only one that keeps me in check out here. when that shit went down my heart broke apart from my heart. I know you are watching my every step and that's what I love about you, please stay with me. so I can be on my p's and q's.

    Compensation if your life depends on getting money that's what you do until the money runs out. planning your moves as your moves come. I know my shorty is watching me from the sky. this is what we planned to have one another back out here. as I look back we did a lot of things and now I'm moving forward until I see you again. a man that can't see he is just blind. you have to hold your ground at all times. I'm clutching my daughter baby the way we miss you but I know you are in the hands of the beholder. 

    Conspiracy you can get locked up for someone that planned a hit but that person is long gone. yes, it amazes me a long time ago people wanted the kid out of the way. it got me feeling like 50cent and 2pac at the same time but I think PAC knew that biggie didn't have anything to do with that, the reason I don't mess with people is that people tried to get rid of me and now I'm fighting to better myself. people that you were cool with sometimes will turn on you. this has nothing to do with being a gangster but I can't forget the past.

    In conclusion at the end of the story, it's all about the next step. you feel like I'm supposed to take care of everything you need. what about doing it for me once in a while? yes I work hard if I knew this was going to be like this I should've kept my wife and now I'm looking at people differently. you only look for me when things get tough, what about helping one another out? when was the last time you did anything for me, I'm waiting for a response. this is supposed to be a 50/50 relationship.

    Infamous you have to be a drug lord to compete with what I'm trying to do out here. how long do I have to wait for a shipment to come in. if 12 wanted me it would've happened already. rest in peace brother just sitting here thinking about you right now. know for some people life just goes on. your presents will always be felt feel me. the hustle doesn't stop the grind keeps going on and I promise to stay on my job with these writings. I want to build as much as I can build. loose ends follow corruption.

    Gangstafied 50 you know I'm still with the shits. carry that shit on me all of the time. this black baby nine how many shots 16 in the clip and 1 in the chamber that's 17 shots. when you look into my eyes please tell me what you see. never let up feel me. the cross happened to me when it was happening to you, my gun stays off safety. my dot will go inside of another person's body and slash his or her ass feel me. this is for you know who. the game doesn't stop for anything never less or should I say more or less.

    Stimulation is the inner body connected to your life. you sure know how to make me feel good. you have to stimulate your mind l's how do you get high no I don't. so sit back while I spark this blunt. what are you smoking on that Cali? I think I can stimulate my mind by getting something to drink. so I started getting faded. I can feel the connection in the room. we have to see if the chemistry is good and yes it was excellent on my side. what about on your end if everything's on the up and up that's great.

    Yes, I dare to come to you and tell you how I feel. I know we are supposed to be together right now but I want to make sure when we start being together. we are together for all of the right reasons. like having everything that a couple needs. baby I'm working and trust me cheating isn't an option for me. yes, I miss you with all of my heart. I'm home thinking about you. every move I make I make thinking about you. you are my everything and yes I want you to know that you are all that I have.

    You are absorbing all of my energy and my emotions run deep for you. please keep it wet if you are dry inside it might burn me. that's just me in and out of you all night long. this is what you get all of these rose petals all over the bed. two bottles of champagne are also next to the bed and slow music playing loud so nobody can hear you screaming at the top of your lungs, all I want is you. baby, yes I have been on my best behavior waiting patiently for that loving. feeling on that body oh my God.

    The consequence is like a pressure that you can't get over. the pain you go through trust me family it's not about having sex right? let's get this business taken care of. when you have so much on the table you will do whatever it is you have to do. by the way. knowledge is power and you have all of the knowledge. I understand you are keeping busy by educating yourself. this is what I speak of. one day all y’all will run this company.

    Distinctive taking from others and giving it to another person on a positive note you have to think about what you do to someone. let's act like this is make-believe and you had one wish when I want your love watching the lady die right in my arms. I know you are still alive but that shit turned me out blood was all I saw. this is when I started going out. the only problem is an apple with four slashes. I still think about that day every day. but what if she's out there loving someone else? 

                                                                       CHAPTER 87

    Into action when two people come to an agreement that life is what you make it. you have a sense of the game so it's no longer a game. you start to see things in a different light now your eyes are opening up to bigger and better things that life has to offer feel me. you shouldn't be subjected to one way of living. use your head and make good decisions out there. if there's something that you want to do believe in it. God might not give it to you right away because God wants you to put the groundwork in first.

    Suspense is like a rush that I can't control when I'm with you. I wonder if you are the one for me. this is me telling you how much I care about you. planning for our future we will see if this is going to last. seeing everything that God has planned for me. I hope you see what I see in life. you have to start from the bottom and then rise to the top. you can't have everything handed to you. flying coast to coast when it's cold in NYC flying to where it's hot. that's what you do pay for complimented by yours truly.

    Drastically the pain you can't overcome. you have to put business and personal feelings completely separated. having feelings for something that was just business will not affect the way you view your life. everyone makes mistakes maybe it's my past that came back around to me but knowing it was I prepared for it. so it didn't hurt as much. your life is designed to be phenomenal. you always have to take the bad with the good it's a part of everyday life like I always say you always have to fight. 

    Personified what the world has in it and why. if you ask me the man above created every living thing that's in this world. you start to realize that when you get older and life starts to get difficult. people turn to the Bible to answer their prayers. reading the Bible not yet I can't understand it but the Bible for teens now that's something I understand. you have to be an outstanding listener and be out spoked. carry yourself like you are a king and queen.

    Love is life and life is living. last night I heard nothing. anything for your love. if you remember something. please call me. is there anything I can help you with? I love you. I miss you. they got married on a hot summer day. today it is very hot! I feel good when I'm with my nice friends.

    Love is a mystery I feel love in the atmosphere and nobody can take that from her. what a sense of humor she has everything she does is eye-opening and nothing is negative everything is positive. you make me feel better Timbo. trying to create a female from scratch is hard but I guess it's a Harlem thing. I want to go all out but I know I have to protect myself from others. shorty came to holla at me and everything was fresh and clean on me. let me know what's going on in this life we live.

    I want to live a constructive life and live on a positive note. let's put this day down in the books. you have to teach her to take her time and you help her grow into a woman. whatever I can do trust me I will do if you are looking for your better half trust me it's me, all of the time I want to holla at you when I see you but my heart is telling me to help you out. yes, I'm taking a chance with you how am I supposed to know if you are the one for me? forget this I'm going to let this play out and see where this goes.

    So you telling me if I shoot first. this is for all of the people that are doing time. you have to follow the way black justice people live. yeah, get your gun if I get pop best belief this dot is going off or the blood handling my business to whoever it may concern. Blood isn’t a joke and now we have blood in NYC, this connection came from me I took trips on the i95 feel me. I'm watching friends turned foe unless people set me up. I can't ever forget that you know my model if it's war then it's war people die every day b keep getting money.

    It's obvious but jay might not be on these streets. let's go back to 1997 beefing with people I'm reaching Pete is that sex money Murda? I don't want to get out of line but when that shit went down. shorty rings my bell and I came downstairs to see what was popping. she told me that jake was looking for me. so I skip town if I would've stayed I might be doing time like 100years. people might say this has nothing to do with it. Esce mean Ellison and Shawn Carter Elijah. yes, I have money in Roc nation.

    My prerogative to love who I am going to love. so seeing you yesterday was incredible for me. knowing the day before I showed a picture of TLC what about your friends and you met me in other words you came to holla at me. you know it's all about you and I hope you didn't text you know who and tell her that you saw me and if you did you text her and tell her it's war until one of us comes together. meaning any of us because we are all the same love.

    Put it on me. when you have gratitude for someone. you seem to do anything to keep that person smiling. if I should die tonight I know my family will be taken care of and that's all I wanted. praise God for a bit we have to live our lives until we go to heaven and I'm heaven-sent fuck shaving points. this shit will last forever so I'm keeping everyone close to me. looking back on life my motive was to provide for us. I'm not taking no for an answer. half and half of us make a whole and I'm fighting for this.

    Catalog please tell me what you want. she's telling me yes she can get freaky. I'm asking her if the head was nice she said yes and the cat was nice too. I said where do I start first. she said I fuck with ninjas that are getting money. I told her my money is different. she said what you mean bout that I said my apple company is worth $2 trillion and $800 billion. if you are not sure check the dot on my hand and put that document on the table then she said since you can provide it for me? I'm thinking about giving you a chance. 

    It intensifies the way you look at me. people change every day. I need a woman that will protect me. that's what I miss about you and nobody can change that. you showed me so much in life. what about giving up your life to help me out? I remember that like it was yesterday to reason and turning waking up at 5:00 in the morning. on the seventh day. I turned the gun that I had and put it to my right eye but didn't pull the trigger because I knew I had our child to take care of.

    The essence of a strong relationship is that it has to last forever. the things you have to do to keep the spice in a relationship. you have to come up with new sexual activity in the bed, you have to be willing to try a lot of different positions and you have to be willing to make love when it's necessary. all I want to do is please you and never let you go. how will all of this come about? both of you have to be willing to sacrifice time and effort. who said this was going to be easy.

    If a female catches my eyes. she has to be a very special lady in my life who loves God more than she loves herself. when God created you he broke the mode when you were born. please do not let anyone tell you differently. you are the second person he created I'm first if we go underwater I'm the fish and you are the crabs. the three of us live underwater. the thought of you and her leaving me triplet will break apart. so if there's someone else you want please let me know. yes, mam that's how you talk to any older lady in the south still my people dough. 

    Starting on a good note is and always will be wonderful to me. how can I show you that I'm so into you now? the way you fall back and watch me see if I'm the one for you got me tiptoeing. when you walk to me it turns me on. looking directly into your eyes can tell a lot about a person. yes, we can play show and tell or truth or dare. this is the time when you tell me you love me. I'm trying the hardest to be in your life ain't I. being this man only a Godly man knows how that feels. we share this perfect life.

    When you put your all into something it will come out the way you want it to come outright. that's why I work so hard on my writings because I want them to come out the best. fam I can't let up now I have to keep pressing on that's what my shorty said to me. so why wouldn't I stay on my job? no, this shit isn't easy this shit is hard to come up with ideas. I want my mind to continue looking for words for me to use. if everything goes okay with this company fam it's going to be great in the eyes of the people that want to see me win.

    I'm your man and you are my girl. when I look in the mirror I see a reflection of my children. yes, my children look just like me and I'm proud to say they are my kids. this is the fathering challenge. my children mean the world to me and I will never do anything to part from them. I need to structure my life and obey it according to the way my kids live and what my children need out of life. the smarter my kids get that means the more you teach them. this is why I love you you know what. I dedicate my life to serving you.

    Today I thought I was going to see a baby girl and now I have to wait until tomorrow. ma is now calling her baby z, please tell me the connection and what it means to us being in this relationship. as I sit here wondering where our life is headed in what direction. from here on I promise to keep my word Aaliyah that I will love you with all of my heart. I know one thing you will see. I'm loving you until there's know us or until we go to heaven. even then eternal life will run through our bodies. from this day forward I will take this life seriously.

    So tomorrow will make 7 years since my first copyright certificate was received. I feel so happy for myself and I know my family is proud of me and I want them to know I do this for us. 2010 was the year it's just a little reminder from that day until now I have copyrighted 27 more and I'm still working to write how much I have written it takes time. you have to prepare yourself to be a writer when pouring out your feelings to your family. right now I'm thinking about how did my family receive it and other words taking in what I have released from my mind.

                                                            CHAPTER 88

    When I go to sleep tonight I hope I dream about my family. I don't want you to go unnoticed you are doing a wonderful job taking care of my children. this right here is coming from the heart. please guide my children in the right direction. this is what I won't do for the sex. kill or cross my friend people think I fought with someone over a girl but if y'all look into it. when I was young I use to have fights and yes get jumped but I handled mine and that was what it was for me. 031 is approaching us as we know it and yes it was in 2000 when I was in black justice feel me.

    When you got someone you love, I gave y’all from 13years old until I turned 23years old. that's 10 years must be nice to handle y’all business and what happened when the kid came back home. I had to get back on my feet and people didn't like that. what am I supposed to be messed up all of my life for you to get money? I grind for everything I have and this shit takes hard work. up all night putting words together. distributing my work to the audience that wants to read my writings. thanks to the Bible for Jesus believing in me and now the belief is stronger than ever.

    When you have nothing to lose, you try to figure out what's the best thing for yourself to do. so you start making up things and talking out loud hoping someone hears you, people say when you do things differently you are unique. can you tell me where I'm going with this? how are my children I remember when I saw you when I came back home. I miss your lips and kiss you on the cheek and you said never miss your lips again and kiss you on the cheek, I was trying to tell you I'm sorry if you think I cheated.

    You try and try to be faithful to your spouse. the mother of your children should be treated with respect and love from you. telling her day in and day out that she looks beautiful and her beauty can't be matched. letting her know she's the only one for you. yes I know there are a lot of other females out there but you are the only one that captures my heart never forget that when I make moves you will be right next to me. growing into this strong woman. how can I explain you are the love of my life?

    What the hell do these girls want from me? I'm cheaper than the average person. damn, I tricked on this one girl and this hitch played me. I got a trick for her ass, when hard times come again you better act like you lost my number because I'm not answering the phone. she thinks I'm playing a damn game she better chill before I hook off on her ass. the next step she will be calling the police telling them he disrespected me now look what you did now I got a case but she didn't know the judge was a sporty thieves fan that shit right there blew her top off.

    Things we do for love. spending time by her side in times of need made me feel good. I went through a problem just like that, when I lost my grandma I lost everything. I had no money or clothes or anything to eat. so when it happened to her it was like a blessing for me. showing her that I can take care of her. letting her know the future is right there and she has everything that she wants and now she's riding around in nice whips. living in her own house. I'm still praying that I do not look like a fool out here.

    People say you are supposed to protect the women you want to be with because I wrote I wasn't going to answer the phone. I got a phone call and a course I answered the phone. who am I kitten there will never be a day I won't answer the phone when she calls unless all of this is just a hoax, and then and only then do I have to move on. thinking about life with her makes me feel good and believe that everything is going to be okay. I can't miss a day without her in my mind. I want to be with you and I know you want to be with me.

    Trying to slide by me like I didn't see you. I saw a little man I'm wondering how is he doing. I ask because I care to know. maybe we can live our life together and raise him to be a man that knows his father cares about him. please never doubt the love I have for you. you gave me a family and I respect that for real. planning this future so you and I can have what we need out of life. baby you are the best for showing my heart feel pain and glad when I see you know you are not cheating on me for the time being.

    Coming together as one whole family makes all of the difference. we must stand tall and be accountable for our actions. one that doesn't take care of his children isn't a man. believe me. when I say I want what's best for us. our children will be the face of this company when we are gone. we must teach them the ins and outs of this business. look what I have built and I'm only 35 years old and I have so much more living to do. now and forever I promise to man up and continue to do for our family.

    Baby don't cry we all make mistakes you will learn from them. this is for all of the young ladies having babies at a young age. you have to be the mother and the father. I pray that my children understand daddy fights every day to make a better life for y’all. I miss my children but I know that they are taken care of by their mothers. yes, it's all up to you when you want me in your children's life. I know right now I'm writing to tell you how much I care about you. looking inside of my soul tells me that this is the right thing to do.

    I want you so bad what do you think about that? I need you right now I can't wait anymore. all of y’all been by my side not knowing what I was doing but trust me nothing went on. when I was out of town the time sex happened was 90minutes and 7 seconds trust that. in six years to get in details like 50cent said kissing relation. I'm still upset about the fact you let me go on and play outside of our family. trust me never again and this man stands up and straightens it out.

    When you hear me cry for help it's because I miss your love when I had your love in my life. I was the happiest man on earth. I mean I'm happy right now don't get it twisted one bit. communicating with you in my mind is what I need right now. I love the conversations we have and nobody can take that from us. this is the part when I tell your love is an installment. as days go by the love gets stronger with me. what about on your end is it getting stronger for you? I know I cry every night that I'm not with you because I want to be in your life so bad.

    Watching her grow into this woman. I know I helped her a little bit but give yourself the credit she did her thing growing up. I want to do whatever I can do for you. I remember chilling with her for a little while which made my day. you're first in line it doesn't matter what other chick I may look at. she always brings a smile to my face. today I heard from the baby girl and can't anything mess that up. all I want to do is put a smile on her face. the way she's growing up is amazing to me. she's learning so much and she says my name with perfection.

    I'm so into you from the first day we met. I had a crush on you please let’s level this relationship that we have. how many times do I have to count to be with you? I want you to know therefore you do not have to question me with the love I have for you. Watch you grow up into this young woman keep up the excellent work things like that I look at. I'm trying to figure out if your heart belongs to me. yes. I'm trying to work on our future that's why I take the steps to show you that I care for you.

    If you take 9/16/2017 into 3/17/2017 you have 5/31/2017. if you take 3/17/2017 into 9/16/2017 it gets you 6/1/2017. which means it turns into 12 months and that's yeah it's my company if you use apply and apple and take them and use esce which mean s in Latin. you get yes that's my company if you take 10/1/2010 for when I copyrighted my first writings and take 9/17/2010 reverse the years 9/17/2010 first and 10/1/2010 last you come up with 15teen days apart. 35 years today air force 1's celebrating its 35th anniversary and I'm 35years old.

    Are shit shocks what now niggers want to stomp no comp on battleground gun him down boom boom two clowns from you know where two dies no surprise ghetto hoodlums on the uprise after fruit loops hustle trey deuce on the stoop get loop while crack head treats turn to treat lick dicks for Nick’s I need a fix chill who throwing bricks as I point at my own kind to get mines cheese line now doing time 25 to life wife live the life she says to get the knife now what that smell like while Irish rose.

    The only thing I think about is how to take care of my family. my grind my hard work comes from looking in the eyes of the females that are in my life. you are my world and I love you with all of my heart. looking back at the way you stayed faithful to me and now I'm here to take care of you and everyone that's connected to your life. you make my day go by without a doubt that you are not cheating on me. this is what I need from you. let's reflect on the good times.

    Sporty back for that ass when you look in my eyes. what do you see those hoes ain't playing fair. I wish a hitch would play me for a sucker. she got a lot of growing up to do. I'm on a mission to find one that's not after money. yo, shorty flash me wrong in this day in age watch what hitch you sleep with. I can't stand these birds they are always on some bull shit. I wish I would trick on one of these ducks. and for the ones that have my money. you better be grateful before that shit change real quick. what the hell do you want from me? 

    You have to know what kind of chicken head you are dealing with. you are all over her following the way she shows you that there's another man. hitch don't you know I will leave your ass for real? please don't get this shit twisted, she's always asking me for money. how about I leave your ass with the bill and your ass will be washing dishes as I ditch your fake fly ass? females don't change they want one thing and that's money or to be famous. you think you are going to come up off of me hitch you got another thing cumin.

    She's telling me to fall back for what you better get a job.  you always planning some shit without having money. I told her l's don't trick I want to slap the shit out of this chick for counting my pockets. what more can I say about that click it better be worth it. I'm waiting all of this time for you to hit me off. how many ninjas dun ran in that. as a man we should've known better. chicken heads say pussy rules the world. yeah it's true if it wasn't for a lady there wouldn't be a man but it cum from us first. don't you ever forget that?

                                                          CHAPTER 89

    What are the moves you have to make before you handle the business at hand? why am I getting deep in this game because I want money? I have to stay focused all of the time. when you see a person in the game not following the rules you don't mess with him. you always want what's best for yourself while you're getting money. please never let a person get the best of you. keeping your mouth close at all times because you don't want to show your cards. you want to play your hand after everyone else play their hand.

    You must show strength to come into one and share this life we have. releasing stress is always a good thing. if you know your partner you know she is the one that holds your heart. you have to get out and enjoy what God has given you. please make no mistakes on where life directed you. when you think about everything that goes on. what will you say to me? keeping your mind on the right path until the man above gives you an appointment to see him. this is why I grind so hard. people say hard work pays off.

    This is why I love you. how can I show you that I care? switching names to show that you are trying to tell me something. yes, I understand what you are saying getting to know you were the best, and better believe it doesn't have to stop here let's move on. you are my baby and I never want to let you go anywhere. you give me the confidence to move on and hold my head high. you are the worst to me and one day I want to make you my wife if you let me. the way you and my little sister exchanged names means trust is there.

    A wife that sticks with her man is one that you keep. I'm tired of running from my feelings. you say the way I treated you was wrong. baby tell me what did I do for you to get upset with me. I'm trying to fix all of my wrongdoing. this heart is big enough for God to heal my heart. when I think about all that we went through. how can I get over you when we have a daughter? no one can replace you. I made this bond with you that will never leave my heart. I am trying to do everything right for you.

    With all of the cheating going on in this world. I'm ready to let go and move forward with my life. sometimes I thank God for letting you come inside of me because you gave me the power to go on in life without laying down with anyone. the way you watch me walk from heaven. this life is priceless because you always told me to keep pushing on. baby the way I miss you but knowing you fulfilled me with love. I'm strong because no matter what I know you can't have sex with anyone and you never cross me because the dot wouldn't be moving inside of me.

    If 16 slashes your temple and the 17 one makes a cross on your back. when I got slashed it took 7 seconds then I passed away and the cross is on each arm. one bullet on one and a bullet on the other arm. so I'm at sea do you follow me? you may ask me how is she inside of you. this is not some game I'm running on you. you have to believe me. The 4-page letter stands for 4 leaf clover. what is it you do not understand? the song she sang and the end of my birthday. I'm trying to teach you the reason she came inside of you.

    I must say the time we spent together was worth it. I can hear you calling out to me. why must you look in my eyes? I'm trying to help you develop your being a woman is this something that you want? I see things that you don't know when I'm on a mission to fulfill my dreams. what if I get out and be with other females? where's the first place we saw one another. when I hit the block and seat down on the chillout stoop. you called me and asked me to be in your life from that day forward I was in your life taking on caring for you.

    The way you told the seven females that were on your boat to get on the plane with you. that there let me know if the seven sisters cross me, you have seven more waiting for me, and guess what one of them is out. so the exchange is there, yes it's in my hands but it will never be the same because it's all on you. thank you for covering me like you always do. it's funny who she laid down with but you know me I have to grow from this. growth is a part of life and you watch me like I watch you and believe me when I say I love you for that.

    I know I have to think this way to better my family life. trying to move on but looking back feel so good because I miss who was in my life. I want to keep the ladies that were in my life when I was younger and I'm not saying when I was 13 until I turned 19 years old. I'm talking about the females that I was with when I was younger than that. I miss the way we use to play together. I remember you spending the night at my house. it was more than one of y'all every night keeping me comfortable.

    All of this talk about who got what and who do what. try to get money and stay out of the way. people think others that go to black justice are cool. that's not cool at all feel me. Take care of your family that's cool. that should be the knowledge in not picking up a wire and using it. I bet the people that are in black justice wish they could be out here with their families. you can't accomplish shit when you are sitting behind them walls feel me. I handle my business but never was a person that stayed in and out of black justice.

    It's alright to care for one that you want to be with. when you care for someone you show her that you are working on your life. I cannot understand why our life is separated how can we bring our life back together? she wants you to do better, baby I'm letting you know I'm trying. everything will come to light and happen in time. you rather fall back than be in your life. there's more we can do with this time we have in life. the way you look up to me shows that you are growing up. you should always stand up for what you believe in.

    Why would I want you back? the whole time was a lie but I have to get on my grown man shit and move on. females play so many games with a relationship. I want you to know I care about what we went through. I know taking care of you that's all you wanted. where do I go from here? I want to know if she has moved on. you told me time after time again to find someone else to be in a relationship with. I know I did you wrong but baby I'm making up for it. just because we are not here together why take everything from me?

    So I got a call and this was way back. the phone call was for me to come to her house. when I got there I got to the door and talked to her mother and guess what she's in the shower. I could've seen that body that day with nothing but a towel on but I took a rain check. the next time she called me I went to her house and enter the living room guess who was in the shower again? I guess she wanted me to see her with that towel walking past me all wet. I'm not going to get into what happened next but y'all get the picture.

    People tell stories hoping that people buy into them. get off of my brother's back he might not be able to speak about it. but his little brother can talk about it. you know that's a hell no. follow the rules why get involved with a shorty like you? I'm not feeling that at all. I know one thing he better not have been with that chick. that's why I call them birds. if it was a regular man with an std. it wouldn't be about money. y'all going to stop looking at us as a come-up feel me.

    She's able to get to me with whatever she does. I'm asking you why you want to get under my skin. I try to show you everything I do. let me know if this is the last thing you want for me to walk away. why can't we agree on this life we have together? you know I'm not covering up anything I manned up and took responsibility for my action didn't I. the only thing I know is that I want you in my life. when it comes down to it you are my world can you understand that and you are the mother of my children?

    Giving you the time she said that's all she wants. you know you are my baby anything I can do for you believe me I will do it. I rather this here spending time with her. I know the way we spend time together is in my mind and I'm writing to you to show you that I am here. please tell me what made you change your mind. I had a lot of growing up to do. when you are young and dumped. you follow the street life. I don't want to live like that anymore. I want to be a family man meanwhile I'm in the streets part-time. so hold me down because you are my rider.

    So she called and asked for a dime and I'm wondering for what. as quiet as kept you are the best. keep letting me know what I am supposed to do and now you are telling me things that I didn't know. I think I like when you are on my back but make sure you watch my front. stop playing and bring her over here and you know what I mean or are you playing hide and seek? this is like playing you it and why wouldn't you be that shorty that I want in my life? keep talking to me I understand exactly what you are saying.

    My senses feel like you want what I have in my mind. I'm dying to release this pressure. but I have to be cautious about what's going on inside of me. you are the baby girl in your mother's eyes. please let me know that the love is real. got damn this is hard getting next to you. I know what she is thinking. if she gives it up my pimp will die because that's what I wanted from you. you act like I'm after a one-hit and quit. that's not where my head is at being in the house with you. this is something I have to let go of before it gets out of hand. 

    Diamond in a rough when you lose your soulmate but find the person she's inside of. you look at life a little differently. yes my heart was hot and cold and now it's warm and I warn you to cheat. people do not know what I had to go through out of town. my life was passing by and I was doing everything to return home to you and now that I am here you are the best for me. climbing these heights the mountain is tall. I can't wait until I reach the top. when that day comes I can settle down.

    I'm on 117 verses in one month today, change 117 into 711 boy I hope you are here. look at all that I have done for us. why would you walk away when this life is somewhere you want to be? I can see if I was out there cheating with other females. but that's not the case just in case you don't see things my way. I'm willing to sit down and figure this out. taking care of everything that you needed me to take care of was hard but I handled it. you know how much this means to us but you never know what a female might be thinking.

                                                           CHAPTER 90

    As I sit here and glance at the heart of this woman that could walk out at any time. the question is why stay here with me? when the background song is about you and me telling you that I cheated. in my heart I didn't see anything wrong that's because I never cheated on you. excuse me for saying cheat so many times. how am I supposed to bring our relationship back together? when we are content where we are even if it's together in the heart and mind. losing you is something I never want to go through. 

    Wake what am I supposed to think when I have seen you in over 23years? this shit is hard on me I don't know what to do. I remember the conversation we had. you told me that I had to go out and handle business because you need to be taken care of. you may see pictures of me but I can't see a picture of you. I want to look you in your face and tell you how much I miss you and love you. miss stick standing there looking in the eyes of doubles. this life we share I want it right now because I can't take this anymore.

    The plans we made as kids yes I'm following through with them. if you are stressed out about waiting for one another to be in each other life. this shit got me stressed but I'm fighting it until my last breath. there's something about you baby holding this life in my hand, I'm the rock of this family. day in and out I have to provide for us. this is what makes me a man. the question is can I continue to handle this my response is yes I can because I have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

    If you share this special place with your wife. let her be a part of what you have going on, she will love you for including her in your grind. this is all she wants to do is help out and bring something to the table and I respect that. you can't always be the breadwinner. she has plans too and I think you should support her with whatever she wants to do when you do that she will love you more and she will stay faithful to you because she will feel like you care about her dreams and that's important to her. 

    You stayed right in my heart. I remember it like it was yesterday. it was May something I asked you will you be my wife. so someone is coming soon for me to see her and I'm so happy. the way you prove me right all the time, you make me feel so much better. I can't wait to see her. there are no complaints by me you make my life worth living. if there's anything I could do for you. I will do it you don't have to worry about anything. seeing the look on your face when I proposed you lit up and that's actually what I was looking for.

    Am I ashamed to say I learned from my mistakes? please hold tight to the love I have for this female. I didn't ask you how was your night handling family business. if more come your way yes you can do it but who am I giving you the okay? if we listen to one another then I'm giving you exactly what you want. if anything you can make sure you take your time and do the right thing because it's hard losing yourself. you are so wonderful to me. my dreams tell me that you are the one for me.

    So tonight what are you thinking about? I'm thinking about undressing your sexy ass. these feelings are running through my mind. this shit ain't no lie baby you look like a one of a kind. when I came back home two females came around my block and hung out with me. the both of you looked like you were ready to do something to me tonight and the same thing was going through my mind. when you came around I had like 4 billion dollars on me. any place you can find it you can be at 19.

    The element of surprise you hold this place that I keep thinking about. when you go out do any men try to talk to you? if so please tell them that you have a man or do you like the attention. what about getting attention from me or do you rather get attention from another man. is it my fault for the way you look at me? how can I fix this please tell me. so I can get on my job and love you the way you need to be loved. my world is pleasing you because you are my wife. I can't deny you because denying you take away from our life surpassed.

    Let me place you right here in my heart where time is on our side. faithful is a must baby for real. playing this game as a player isn't what I want. I want the females that are here and have been here from day one. yes, we can build this relationship for life. let me control my feelings not let me express the way I feel for you. this is the only way you will know that I care and what my heart is feeling. as I walk close to you and open my mouth meanwhile you are waiting for words to come out of my mouth. you telling me the sound of my voice turns you on.

    Throwback I can't forget when you were in my life. trust me we are all grown up. What can I do for you? you have everything that you want. what am I supposed to do with you by my side? kissing your sexy lips. thinking about loving you makes me stand tall. that's a little inside joke baby give me one more chance to make it work. seeing our child just makes me go harder for our family and I'm doing my best to handle the business at hand. growing with you proves you are the one for me to settle down with. 

    I don't want you to go anywhere baby stay right by me. can't you see I'm trying? my heart hurts because you are always downplaying me. I'm just playing with you. you inspire me to do better. this is what women suppose to do for their men. this world means nothing without you. like I said before this young lady captured my heart. I can't shake her she's watching my every move and calls me to tell me to keep up the good work. being her man is a blessing to me. one life one love that's what she tells me.

    When I call don't come running already be there for me. that's how you show your man you are by his side. if I wasn't trying to get in a relationship. I'll be in another girl's face but not me. I can't wait until that day comes when we get down. watch your mouth stop yelling at me. you grab it and put it in the middle. entering her soul and the soul connects. it's about the motion and the ocean, not the size get naked. how do you feel about me playing slow music? while you get busy with me?

    Females have good tendencies. we made it here and now I'm looking forward to more writing straight after this. maybe tomorrow has a better look for me. what more can I ask for because everything I asked for you has blessed me with? the goals get bigger when you reach the ones that you want. the money gets deeper and the problems start to happen. you know I'm looking for it but still calm as hell. I don't want to get in trouble with this company that I own. if I was in the streets getting locked I wouldn't have this type of current success. 

    You show me that you care and I'm going to do my best to show you that I care for you. it's hard for a man to show love but this man was raised by women and that's the reason why I appreciate women. there's nothing I won't do for you and taking care of my children. seeing them makes me understand that their okay because I see them looking cute all of the time. thanks to God for letting me provide for my kids. everything I do for you. this is what I man suppose to do. no matter what you always stay on my mind.

    One mic the game the stories people tell. if you knew the truth about things that I know. you wouldn't think it's that when it's this. people have their outlook on things that went on back in the day. why do people have to die off of the hill here's why. know I can't tell people to say it was their fault that the people that died get the fuck out of here. the game doesn't love a mother fucker. I will never forget September 14 that's the day they took my uncle but like I said before I'm cool because I was the last one to see him.

    Sharing is caring from the heart. do what you believe in and never tell otherwise. you should always be a man. when life hit you in the head move forward, people this isn't going at anyone this is the truth. what more can I say? when you can do good by others do good because it will come back. 410 put that on morro d. people must not understand on a boss, this hustling shit ain't for everyone. when you get in the game you get in it to the fullest and always remember that you can get touched. nobody is invisible.

    The man right chea. anyone can get popped at any time so watch your back. y'all mother fucker ain't ready. being in the south yes it was a lot of GDs out there. ready and willing to body anybody. you know I had to keep my mind on the streets getting picked off I couldn't afford it. I ain't playing this that g shit. Following the game, you can die from it. so I try to keep my business to myself. so I don't get involved with what others get into. all I know is there are two ways out. one is dead and the other is going to black justice.

    I'm telling anyone that wants to go out of town to get money. staying out there for 7years was hard as hell. this shit is for real ninjas that are getting money what do y'all know about being in the south. this young ninja-like flipping kilograms. that's the only thing that's on my mind. you know you bleed red when that shit is coming out of you, that means you got hit up. you feel the pressure from the grind. you never know when it's your time to go to black justice. yes, I'm throwing time at it..

    When you serve the best kind of hustle. you get excellent results. you should never let go of what you are doing because that's how you get that money. you still have to watch the stickup kids. After all, they want what you have because they don't have it. the more money you make the more problems. yes, I thought so hit me all the time. respect the grind and never let me down. this is the way we handle our business out here. everything seems like it's falling into place out here on these streets and don't you ever forget it.

    I need people on my team to handle business and take control of the part you play on my team. Love life does good stay focus on what you are trying to do. the fight never stops you should always have your guard up no matter what. people are dying and there's nothing anyone can do. we are getting killed by others and killing ourselves. we need to come together and fight for ourselves but everybody wants to say they got this and that. I'm just asking are you putting money up for your children? if not what's the reason to the front if in the future your kids don't have? 

                                                           CHAPTER 91

    Eliminate all of the bad vibes one has. when you ask someone to do for you, that person always comes through for you because I want you to have the best life. dying inside but outside you looking fearless, how do you hold it all in. you are one strong black woman and I'm so proud of you. laying in the bed with you at night. you telling me I'm the only one you want. this changed my life to be a better man for you and my children. everything I do I want to say thanks for looking after me that's enough thank you I need.

    Bodying this track like this and only this way will get people talking about what you do. how can you fall off when you've been on top for so long. my guess is they want to see you underground but I got something for them. ninjas tried to blaze me once. yes, I got a question I'm wondering if shorty told them my name and ninjas can go ahead saying they ran me out of junk town. if jake was on your ass you would've left too. it's not like I wasn't handling my business. in and out of town doing what only a boss would be doing right yeah?

    What's your alias people call me status. since I was a young kid I stayed in some shit, it's like I never learn my lesson feel me. I stayed doing bad things outside on these streets. it's like I never learned my lesson because the pain seems like I liked it. seeing all of that blood pouring out of my body. I wasn't scared of anything I stayed in trouble. you know nothing has changed about me. everyone knows manhunt used to be the best game to play. we use to play when you get caught you get beat up.

    This is good news by the way seeing all of your friends getting money. you have to go forward with your life. I know I did you wrong hanging out partying wasn't meant for me. if I had the chance to go out with my friends and I didn't have to worry about females on my back I would go out. but knowing me I can't take that chance. when the company opens then I might have to go out but it won't be the wrong way in clubs. all I asks is for respect ain't I'm giving you respect. yes, I want you to enjoy life but if things get out of hand I'm gone.

    When it rains is what she said to me, she told me don't get wet by the rain. that means she will not cross me. you always draw this line for me to cross and I never crossed that line because you are the one I want in my life. you have no chill button and I respect that, you are writing because you are telling me what you want. telling any and every female what it is that you want. I'm all ears and I'm listening and writing everything that you want me to say, trust me I will not let you down. you are my everything this life you gave me means the world to me.

    Stranger in my life so when we first met, I was a young life lifting weights. I had timbs on and then I walked out of the room and when I was walking past you. I stop and asked the young lady that you were with did you have a boyfriend. fast forward to meeting you and yes I walked you past my house. we had our ups and downs, the thought of our child without her father. I'm not saying she's not my daughter but I have to know. are you faithful to me trust me it's been a long time. my heart belongs to you and our child so don't get things twisted.

    So I made everything right by us right. let's never look back let's just grow from here on. laying here in this bed thinking about you. the next step you know and I promise this. I'm all for us as one and this family means a lot to me. I care about you even if I can't be with you I wish you the best. I'm just playing you bet not leave me. watching you grow until this woman. I have been through a lot of stuff but I bounces back and got back on my feet real quick. believe me when I say that love is real life.

    East side riders follow the way I get money. tell me what you want I can show you the world in due time. yes, I want to sex you up, followed by a dinner date with you and your sister. what were you thinking about when you were right there? you think I'm loyal to you. yes, why wouldn't I be you sexy as hell getting on top of you? drowning in all of your love and the love I have for you. I'm showing you right I'm not telling you what I can do for you. there's a lot of different shit going on in this world. you better bring your ass to the east side all the time.

    People say a closed mouth doesn't get fed. if you want me by your side all night, we can get freaky in the bed. which way are you going in. yes I have seen this woman I want but before I can get in bed with her. I have to get into her mind first. tell me all of your darkest secrets. please never hold anything back from me tell me what you want. when I'm inside of you that's you pleasuring me. I bet people in the other apartment can hear us baby you getting loud. I'm telling her to yell my name. while I'm in between her legs.

    My girl told me before she wanted to leave me and I said why. I didn't understand she said you play too many games and I said I'm just being me. it's funny everyone has grown up. let's keep this in mind you are my queen. yes, the cheating made me feel like it was wrong but who's to say I cheated when everyone was in the house? I think when you trusted me I couldn't let you down. look at the life we have right now. we have come a long way from hanging on the block. let me stop playing I'm still on the block and faithfully.

    I never want to let you go. you are like a newborn baby. so soft and smooth, your skin looks so good. people might say I'm wet behind my ears and my breath smell like simlack. I can't help it you make me feel like a baby. people say I haven't had pussy until pussy had me and my response be yeah that's true how many guys you know that don't have that many body counts and I'm looking for a girl that doesn't have anybody counts? when we come in counter with each other. we can live our lives as you can be my first in a long time and I'm your first in a long time or I'm the only one you ever had.

    You should as long as it has to do with building our business bigger. you have to make sure you be careful. I want to see you win because you have been with me all of your life. when I was out of the house handling business. you didn't care if I had sex in the house but it was sex with others, the whole time you trusted me. so why wouldn't I want to see you win? I guess it's my time to trust you and I'm saying I do trust you. just because you're out getting money that's going into our family company please I don't mind.

    A yo when it comes down to who's pocket the largest. you shouldn't worry about what other people are doing or how they make their money. the way the green sit on the top the grass is green and the tree water plants. bro go on about the money I'm stacking I'm telling you I'm having fun playing the way I'm playing. so don't worry about what I'm doing, I mean if it's some street shit then you can worry and I'm worried about you too. the job I may have to do is like 5k that's a lot of money considering all the money we made.

    When I tell you that we are growing apart what do you take from that? seeing other females as well as you seeing other males. I know moving on may be hard but the thought of being with someone else always cross my mind. the thought of being with another person that's not family related or has ties to our family. I always wondered how that type of love feels, loving someone who I knew always was on my mind but if my family isn't doing bull shit to me how would I know I can't figure it out? so moving on stay on my mind, it's been 28 years since we were together.

    When you were out here it seem like my life was in order and now it's all over the place. I miss you so much I would give anything to have you back in my life. I'm wondering when I get to heaven will you be there waiting for me? when I walk in the heavenly gates if you were here things that I feel I wouldn't be feeling. there's no one here looking out for me like you use to look out for me. this is a lesson learned only God knows why he's putting me through this. maybe he has a bigger plan for me. I just hope the plan hurry up and comes to me.

    Looking for a girl can be so hard. when I'm out and about I need one that's there waiting for me to be there with her our life together. she's saying if I disrespect anyone I can't see my children. why do you have to bring my child in this? the way she smiles at me when I hold her hand. parting me if I get you upset but what am I supposed to think my inner self is telling me to move on? I'm trying to find a woman that knows what she wants out of life, not one that's looking for a quick fix. she may be up in other guys' faces. 

    She may ask how many more years I have of being faithful to you. how many years can you go without giving my love to anyone? the more you take care of me. baby, I'm not looking for anyone. my next step is 40years old what do you think about that, trusting a female isn't the same as I trust you. let's make this work I'm all yours we have a child together. Layla stays on my mind every day. I can't see myself laying down with someone that I don't trust. you are the only woman I trust in this life and death. so I guess I will see you on the other side.

    Grew up with you in my life. it's come to my attention that you are playing too many games. but I know how to fix that, if it wasn't for me seeing my child grow up Layla I know money isn't everything and me being in your life means the world to you. your mother had a plan for us and damn it's hard but when I looked in your eyes I felt joy. you make me see the bigger picture and not the small picture. watching you grow into a young lady means the world to me. no one can change my mind about the way I feel about your mother.

    If I decide to get married to this one special person that's in my life. we share so many things that we didn't know we had in common but karma is a bitch. if things don't change I am not repeating I am not having sex with anyone. keep thinking I'm playing you will find out in the long run where I stand. if I back out it's because of you, there are so many females out here and I know I will fall in love with one. people say there's someone for everyone and I'm just waiting because that person for me isn't here anymore. can love find me twice if so thank God.

    When she thinks she is too good for you. you sit her down and let her know. what she won't do another woman is willing to do. my company is at an all-time high and I must say I worked my ass off and look what I get in return. this little voice in my head tells me to move on but thinking about that looking at Aaliyah knowing we planned this life and I will not take that from her. you put my life back together because I didn't know if I was going to last. all I know is that I love you with all of my heart trust me because I trust you.

    You say I need a resolution well I will see you at the end of the year. you always talking about me being the cheater. I don't think you were playing house with me until our daughter was born and now you are inside of someone. I think that person hears me calling do I need to holla at her. she has to hold me down and I must respect her. you have two kids by me right is this all in my mind? trust me I'm going to find this out, please don't get loud at me. I never did anything wrong to you, I always did my best for you.

    She ain't your best time of my life. if there's one thing I learned love your wife with all of your heart and never take her for granted. always put her first in your life and do anything that you can do. one day I promise you the world. I want you to be my wife one day. I can't forget about my other sister. you sitting down and watching how this life has changed for the best. the both of you please don't cross me. if it ain't about money it's about caring about one another and making sure our life is respected from one person to another life is too short.

    One in a million putting everything on the line for you is something that I better do. trusting you yes all the time, seeing you the day you walked into the park I left you in the dark right? mornings feel so good with me next to you. nights laying up with you. afternoons talking about where our life is at right now. be mine and only mine alright is what she said to you. what's true indeed the way you respect me or the way I respect you? both of us should always respect one another. you are the love that will forever keep my heart beating.