BOOK 7

                                                       CHAPTER 92

    What does she know about being there when you are down and out? if shit hit the fan will she help you out or move on with someone who knew? this is what a lot of ladies do when their man gets locked up. I need one that's down with me for the long run. finding that lady is so hard but I'm going to continue to look. I had that in you God why? I'm going to ask you this question over and over. until you answer me or give me someone just like her. this young lady could be you but who knows.

    I came across a question are all black women looking for a man with money? when the white women want to help the man build wealth. are all black females looking to hang out and a man that has nice cars while the white women were born with money. people say black women are just looking for someone right now while white women are looking for a relationship. it's not about race but if this is what black females are looking for I might have to change up and find white women and then when you are with white women is this true?

    How long does it take for one to settle down? when you haven't been there for me for a long time. people start to grow apart and that's what's happening right before my eyes good thing I think I have found a new lady to be in my life. I mean she was in my life in another body and that body died and went inside of another body or am I bugging out? I believe she is you and nothing can make me change my mind. she had her eyes on you and this is what I got from her a baby girl and I am thankful for that.

    Fighting for my spot is hard but I am doing my best. if you are not on my team I can't help you. the only person I'm changing money with is people that's signed to my team. I'm making power moves and I hope it continues to go well for me as long as I keep God in my corner he will watch over me and with my baby watching over me. I can do anything I want to. it's better having her watching over me and her watching me here on this earth dubs. the way I see it I'm blessed and I am trying to be one that he can trust.

    The way the game is going I will sit here until I have to come out and play with my money until then I'm going to work hard for what I want. this shit didn't come overnight this is 20plus years of work feel me. when you are so close to becoming the first company to make a trillion dollars. you have to keep the focus on your company. you can't get sidetracked by a female. the female you look for is the one that's lying on your left hand and continuing to take care of her. you should believe her and understand that she is right next to you.

    When she asks for too much, you ask for too much. why can't you do it for me sometime? it's like everything in this relationship falls on me. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that but this is supposed to be a 50/50 relationship. I mean I don't ask for much but for you to help me. all of the money goes into your account. I can't even touch my money, I can't even enjoy myself. people say when you are wealthy. you are not that happy and now I understand why. when you have everything that you want. accept a relationship this shit makes me mad.

    When it all comes down to it who do you trust? building this business so I'm good in the future. you always talking about whether it is us or anything at all but I can't see that. this here comes from me being a man. if I wasn't on my job every day what would you say? you should never complain about what you don't have. when everything you need I take care of it. working all day every day is a hard job. putting ideas together in my mind so my business will succeed but damn it's hard. staying up all night writing.

    Battling so much in a little bit of time here on this earth. yes, I'm a fighter because I want more for myself. if life has you on the ropes. you have to change up the way you handle your life. put your all into your life. you need to make the money now, you can't wait unto it's too late, the moves you make play out on how your family gets taken care of. if you can't understand that then something is wrong with you. you have to be strong-minded to accomplish and achieve goals. that you have set so your life can be easier.

    When you have an understanding of the game. you learn to love the game and I mean the business side of it. I'm sharing my heart with anyone that wants to come inside of my life. yes, it's open to whoever wants in, yes making songs come together means so much to me. understanding the mind so the mind can lead to my heart and my heart letting me type on the computer. I'm still learning about writing there are more things I have to learn in this game. yes, I have come a long way, whoever reading my stories I hope you get something out of it.

    This man found himself depress his mind was going through a lot of thoughts. he didn't know what to do about it. drug dealing was catching up to him he was smoking too much weed and he was drinking a lot. people were telling him that he might need medication. his life was going downhill from that point on. it was like a ghost was taking over his body and he couldn't do anything about it. things started to get deep he started carrying a gun on him just to make sure he was going to make it out from being out of town.

    Divine intelligence must mean you have some sense of where you want your life to go. things that are bad for you leave it in the past. try to focus on your future. that's the only way you will come to a common ground. male purity until marriage means I'm looking for that one lady that knows how to fill my heart with joy. one that's not scared to take chances with me. one that will put everything on the line if need be. if you are not faithful to me move on and go your way without me in your life. if you are faithful to me I love you to death.

    When she makes her own decisions to do things. if in your head you think you are doing something right then go ahead. but if you think you are doing me wrong then I have to move on. only you would know that. if things get out of control I'm walking out. yes, you look good and an excellent sight to see. what would bring me to say I can't take this and the next move is for me to find someone else? as long as you are taking care of the family business I can't get mad. what do you think I'm going to get upset not me.

    Red flue blue flue it's all the same shit just different facts. why would I trust you when I know your heart there's something there in your heart that did me wrong. so I have six months to get myself back on my feet then I can continue to move forward. maybe she will come into my life if I do right. this shit doesn't pan out or add up I'm ready to say I'm moving on but to think back females nowadays have sex with a lot of men. trusting a female is hard work unless you and she have been in a relationship for a long time. 

    Let me tell you something before you put your all into a relationship. watch who you put your trust in because she could be cheating on you. this is why I'm not in a relationship now or calling myself a couple with someone else. I had a lot of growing to do and now that I have grown up. I can take care of life with someone else before I couldn't do it. I had to be one with myself before I could love someone else. how can you love someone else if you can't love yourself? the way you need to love yourself.

    Being lost for words because I'm not having one in and out of my life. that will happen every time so please don't fall for that. you need a woman that's bright and smart and has a good head on her shoulders. you have to keep ya head up because if you don't you can fall for anything out here. please wake up people because as hard as it is before I give up I'm going to fight for what's right and that's equal rights for all races. we need to come together that's the only way we are going to own some shit in our words of us.

    365 and 365 = 730 in 2 years I wrote 711 verses and I stop having sex at 18. I told you the numbers add up. what is it else I have to explain to you, at 12:00 it will be 24 years apart, and like I said in the other verse I only stepped out 7 hours? you and I will be faithful until the end of time. I'm asking you will you be my baby do you mind. you are the only one I think about. I want you to be proud of me. I have 4 verses on the gram take back it leads to 707. if things don't turn out this way I will walk out with my head held high.

    How many times do I have to tell you? you are not a gangster at all. gangster means taking care of your family. when you have or don't have you make away for your family to eat. yes, it does take time for your family to understand that. as it may seem you handle your business. what you know about making away no matter what. putting your family first in any situation feel me. work hard to get good results. if you know that anything is possible. you have to get what you can get out of the game then get out as soon as possible.

    Trying to prevent problems but trust me if that's something that one wants. I'm trying to do this for my family and stay out of the bull shit. yes, I'm trying to maintain out here for the sake of my family and this young lady keeps me sane. so I have four special females in my life. that want me to do better in life and they want me to stay away from black justice and that's what I am doing. who am I supposed to believe she's telling me to put the pictures up for her Passover day. I know it's going to take time for me to get things right.

    Lord why did you take my heart out of my soul. you know what I am talking about so don't act like you don't hear me. she left a daughter and I'm trying to figure out how I will live on. holding my two hands together hoping you hear my prayer. if you are asking me do I miss her the answer is yes. it's like when you took her you took my rib. I understand you put the dot on my hand to let me know that she is with me. Allah. Aaliyah and Elijah, this young lady named her child after us and her name is Blank. I'm wondering if that's a sign.

    Ether stand forgot to get her together. putting words that tell stories is a hard job. but I'm willing to work at it. when you running around putting all of that work in. as I remind you are the only one that I miss but knowing you stepped up for me. as you age you have enough wisdom to pass down to your children. fighting temptation may be hard but you put your all into it. you have to put that woman first and she will love you take care of you and be there for you. that's the type of woman I'm looking for.

                                                             CHAPTER 93

    The same place I first met you know who. fast forward to you glad you called. I'm wondering who you went to the prom with was you shaking your ass on him. after that shit was over? I told her do you know  I write books and she said she want to read them. every time I come to the block to see her she's asking me about that damn book. so one day I printed it out and gave it to her. my guess after that is I got a phone call that you wanted to read my book here's her number. so I called the number and asked her and she said yeah.

    She thinks she's all that but I got some heat for her little ass. if I go underwater can you swim or will you drown? you know the only one that's the faithful one to me is you but she can be you know what on the low. please don't get it mess up I'm okay with jumping words. I can't see what I need to look for just because numbers add up. it still could be a trick so I have to watch my back. chicks always want paper. asking me do I get high yeah high on life. I hope that doesn't go over your head. she's telling me if I don't trick I get know click how do that dale tone sound. 

    Watching you turn into a woman is the best feeling in this world. trust and believe our daughter looks up to you. being a strong woman nowadays because men and women are after one thing and that's the sex part of a relationship. I'm looking for a soulmate and I'm wondering if it is you. causing you pain no more because I can understand what you went through as a young lady. watching you all of these years and trust me all of the numbers add up. I'm willing to wait until you say let's start this family together.

    Yes, I made the right choice in choosing you to be in my life. so one day she called me and told me she wanted a cake for her bday and I said no problem. I called her when I got downtown and I got no answer. fast forward to the future she called me on another occasion. I answered the phone and you know who asked me what was I doing and I said nothing. I asked her did she have money for her bday and she replied no. I said I'm on my way then I got to her house and I sat down and had an earring in my ear.

    So shortie has been lying this hold time. I will rip a hundred-dollar bill on your wack ass. you need someone to help you out damn I shouldn't do anything for you. the reason why is because I'm low on cash getting at you because you spend so much of my money. I'm still looking for my $165 you rather than $173 thousand right? so be nice before I run up on you for them J's excuse me miss. I'm going to get mine regardless trust that. you have no wins with me or this shit I'm speaking. you better fall back before I undress your ass some more.

    You never know who's down for you until you are down and out. the mind goes where it wants to go. you can't deny that. the songs I sing to you are for your ears only. I want to cover you no matter what and maintaining life together be the best move for us. I want to show you that life has other things in this life for us to see. you never know how a person thinks until you get into her mind. that's the best part of a relationship and it should last for better or worse. I want you to keep this in mind. growing together as one means a lot to me.

    Yes, I am proud to be your father and brother at the same time. please don't get this twisted and I mean what I am saying to you. I want you to be yourself around me. I can't wait until you give me the okay to be in your life. what am I waiting on or should I say what are you waiting for. everything seems like it's a go but you stay fighting to slow things down. come on let's speed this pace up. I'm not getting any younger. so what do you say about starting this life right now? the way you look at me when you saw me. I hope you were telling her to say, did I.

    So you ask me do I miss you and the answer is yes. sorting out all of my problems doesn't mean I don't care about you. I remember everything we went through. when I was down south and you know the good part about that is that Layla lives down there too. so no matter what I have to put that call out to all that stayed with me. I know you probably didn't think I would change but trust me. that wasn't my character. I am a good and well-respected man. this is the way I live my life like this and this is me for eternity.

    Making away for me to eat not only on my plate but those that are with me. let's say thank you to the man above watching what I do out here. you shouldn't make that man unhappy. you should stay healthy and try to get wealthy. you need money like no other out here. grinding until the day I can't grind anymore. you work so hard to provide for your family. yes, times get hard but you fight through it. always keep a level head in these streets. planning is something that everyone should do. so your children can have the life that you didn't have.

    Understanding your partner means that you understand the way you want to be treated. life may go on with life in itself but if it comes to a standstill will you be there for me. hard times come but it's how this young man bounces back. standing up for what I believe in always. it doesn't matter who's right or who's wrong. we have to look one another in each other eyes and move forward with this life that we live. standing strong will always help a relationship out. you should have my back as well as I should have your back.

    This shit doesn't change at all. so you have to keep doing what you are doing to make your money. falling back is a no-no-feel me. if you can't stand the heat get out of the streets. what you want from a person that been in these streets all of their life. getting shit taking care of that's all I want for myself. please don't get on your high horse and think you can't get touched. when you are in this game you play it to the fullest. never let people talk about you. do your best to stay out of the public eye. stay on the low and get money.

    Let a ninja know when you are going to war or do some dumb shit. so I don't come around you and get hit up. you know I have to be on point at all times. that's like telling blood to stay o50. you want to build with me how first we better be getting money. people that stay in beef can't go anywhere because you have a lot of people looking for you. you have to protect yourself from people that want to set you up. it can go down either way feel me. you have to keep your guard up and never let your guard down. that's a little sum up of o50.

    Hell no, try to get the best team and try to win. oh, I forgot I already won. I remember going to the summer jam in the south. first when I got there. I had the ox in my mouth, so you know I had to spit that out of the mouth because I would've got caught. I got in the summer jam and walked listening to the south music. walking around and around after it was over. the person that I went there with left me. so I saw this OG that lived in the area that I was from. I flagged him down and got a ride before we pulled off he cock that thing.

    So I just got off the phone with a special young lady. I plan on seeing her tomorrow. I can't wait I think I am going to dream about seeing you here. can you believe when I spoke to her she said hi Ellison and I said hi baby? she must be getting taught my name and what makes it better I'm coming around her. when I'm able not to say it like that because no matter what I'm here. when you are ready for someone to love you, yes I want to be with you. I know brothers have thoughts and I pray to God that's true because if it's not it may hurt my heart. After all, I have been here from the beginning.

    Holding her tight I never want to let her go, looking in your eyes yes I see a future together. the thought of you with someone else but never losing my mind. you have to understand you mean the world to me. I'm asking you here and now if you are my girlfriend. that's all I want to know because you are all I need. the closer we get to one another. baby, I believe anything is possible with us. how many men can say their faith to their families? let's not waste any time. let's grow and pass wisdom to our children Lazarus. 

    Yes seeing you can only mean one thing. how am I sitting here not knowing if you want to be with me? you could be doing everything under the sun. I want to let you know I'm growing as a man. yes, life changes from one day to the next. throwing all of the things I use to do in the past. I'm working on the future for real. when you look at me what do you see in me? if I'm not someone that you want to grow with let me know. so I can move on from where I'm at. I'm trying my best to make this work. the one person that has my back. yes, she walks with me but her walking is up in heaven.

    I had to pull back to see that special young lady. what more can I do for you? I need one to ride until the wheels fall off. when I'm up she enjoys life but when I'm down. she holds me down for what's worth. you take care of your business and that's what I love about you. when our company opens up I want to go to work and then come home to all of you. unless you are on a vacation. that's the only way we can't see one another even then FaceTime will always work. yes, I want what's best for you.

    Back like that, people show their true colors. if I cross you baby I'm sorry do you forgive me? the way you show me is by letting me see my child or I guess I was wrong me and my dog talking about what we want to do. please don't make me undo what we have. the trust is all of these other chicks knowing me and they aren't friends. if you look at me you need to care for me. Do you know better or are you doing this because you want to? Either way, thank you you can have everything in this world. you will find out I'm the best thing that ever happened to you.

    Yep, you make my world so much better. I remember you watching me play basketball. what you think you can play. what about doing my hair? no better love. I know I want to keep you close to me. you look the best never second in line. you always come first to me. how long it has been I think I came home in 2004. that's like 18 years. how do we stay out of trouble both of us handle the business that needed to be handled? who's scared to go to black justice we can't because we share someone special. I still pray it's true.

    You never follow the rules be the flow. I know I have my mind and I plan on using it to improve my life. I know others want to stop what I am doing but never that. believe me, I'm going to keep handling the business that's at hand. Lord, I'm not ready to die feel me. I want to live life the right way. please don't take me yet there's so much more for me to do. how do you expect me to grow if you don't throw me in the fire? let's keep it cool for real I don't need the bull shit happening to me. I want to ride through life smoothly.

                                                              CHAPTER 94

    Losing weight bricks who got it. make that money. baby hold on I'm outside getting to it. I'm just bullshitting. I'm at home running this company. by the way the biggest company in the world. this is that shit I always dream about. if a ninja takes me there. yeah, I will die for this shit. if you want to know how to move like me. just remember it takes guts to be able to handle all of this work. that the connect has for me. living a double life. in the home and coke coming in. it ain't hard to find me out here on these Harlem Streets.

    Family ties who's a fucking liar. this young man can't be fuck with. do I get him with the bull shit? 2001 I came to New York City to handle some business and when I left you signed a deal and when I got back in 2004 deal over know more music. Rip D-Jones, you think it's going to stop here, females are not involved. let's keep it a man thing. front for what when ninjas know how I feel about them. this is the feeling you get when you can't trust ninjas. I didn't know now that I know. for what you okay.

    When we ride on our enemies. you never let anyone know what you are doing. you have to keep your ideas to yourself. people will use you until they can't use you know more. the game has its pros and cons. which one do you live by. it's hard to tell. I'm in this game heads up. you have to know what's best for you. the game made ninjas a lot of money and sent people to jail and there are still snitch ninjas out here. everybody should a by the rules.

    Welcome to new york city now that the connection just hit me. whatever they have I can say. I bet it is the best kind. don't let me lose you with this, 365+46=411. it must be true that you know who is in you. I can't help myself. Ghost what the fuck is popping. our birthday is tomorrow and I verse 2+ 5 = 7 than AI birthday, I miss the hell out of you, you know brother handling this the best that I know how. we all want money.

    Coming up from having the world on his shoulders. shows how strong you are. please remain faithful to me and I will do the same. life is so difficult in times when everything was downhill. now I'm trying to get back on my feet. yes, I'm working hard as ever. being at the bottom was a stressful feeling but I remain sane. so I can keep this young man's head up. how do you know what pressure feels like? when you never fought for anything or things that you believe in. including the grace of God. believe me, everything will come to the light. when you lose your heart in the midst of a cheating partner. you take the steps to bring your heart back as one. 

    It's all or nothing. tell me what you bring to the table. what am I thankful for? my kids having the best life, building together as a family. you are one in me, we move together. we take care of what needs to be taken care of all the time. I can't imagine my life without you next to me. one day putting that ring on your finger. 

    Everything looks up from here. the thought of loving you no more. I can't live my life with someone else. It's all about trust, as I stepped into this verse. hoping my family and friends are okay. at the beginning of time. I'm not looking for anyone but my heart, which isn't here anymore. I miss you with all of my heart. she's telling me this r&b is going to kill award shows. that's where the money is at. if I had one wish it would be to bring you back to me. 

    My heart feels empty but the one thing I'm holding onto is our daughter that you gave me. seeing her I asked her if she was alright. when I walked away from her. before I left I knock on the wall and knocked seven times. slashed her two weeks after that, now when I wake up she feels me. I want to say thank you for being this strong black woman. that I needed in my life, you make me believe in life in its strongest form. the way you make me feel all the time. getting close to you with no worries. you are the love of my life for real. you covered everything that I was tested with. growing as days turned into weeks into years. 

    I'm not going to front. when this thing called love first happen. I didn't know how far this was going to go. but with a little help from God, we can do anything. writing my life in a book about everything I went through, I must say you stuck by me in times. when I thought I would never be the same. things are looking up for us. I owe you the world. what do you do for someone? that be in your corner. all of your life. let's get with this hot shit. you make me this way. yes, I can wait until I'm ready to lie down. 

    Trust it's no rush on my part. you talking about when I was doing my thing. it wasn't like that. who gave me permission to go out and handle business. coming together as I am making it all the better. you guide me on the right path. thank you baby you make me feel so wanted. when we go out the two of us. knowing we are one together who can stop us. you watching all of these females and I'm watching all of these ninjas. you are the only one I see when we are outside. you are the best now say yes I'm yours. appears you want everything to go your way. 

    I'm tired of you spending all of my money. giving you everything that you want. how much is a young man supposed to take? you are always in the club dancing. I want a good girl and yes I understand you should have a girl's night out. you drain me dry asking me for causes. this is the shit I'm talking about. 

    If I say no I don't have it. then you want to get upset with me. what are you giving me? I ask for simple things. like a Birthday card. when was the last time you gave me anything? I can't remember I'm ready to sign the papers. when you have lovers and friends. what are you saying showing me it's on? I'm trying to get away from my friends. so I can come to see you. 

    So we can hang out. she's on my back about coming to see her. where are you I'm not coming that far to see you? oh, you inside of the house. okay, I'm on my way over there. hold on tight give me a minute to get there. mind don't mean to sound impatience but you got to promise baby. you always bringing up old shit. 

    Can't we just move on into the future, as a new improved couple would do? when it gets cold people say that's the cuffing season. whoever was with me in the summer. that's the only one I'm cuffing up with. you do your job and I will handle my job and that's to make you happy. you are the only one I think about. all year round don't get it twisted. there are other females that will love to be in your place. 

    You are my queen hold on. how many ninjas want you? knowing you only with me. this man loves you with all of his heart. growing up it all started when we were kids. playing together at the park and going on ice cream dates. what you did for me I'm the only man that has this much respect for you. you did a great deed to me and I'm thankful for that. now that we are older. where do we go from here? maybe we get down and do the grown and sexy with each other. feeling on that body you are the best. with you, by my side, I can praise this time that we spent together.

    It's all about timing. you take that special woman. by the hand and let her know that you love her. making her day go by so easily. something that she will always remember, keeping her close to you. whatever she wants she can have. simple things count the most. I understand that. take baby steps with this relationship. we are supposed to be at the top right now. what are you waiting for I'm only a phone call away from whatever it is that you want? yes, I can make every day feel good.

    Cry for you that's something I'm not doing. you are more sensitive to the situation. baby you have to be strong or else this won't last. my mind always goes 100 miles per hour. how can we slow this thought process down? we have to learn the value of one another. rushing this relationship to work. we are going to end up breaking up and that's just facts. who to say we belong apart from each other?

    Love u 4 life how can I prove I'm with you? I got your back baby. there's nothing in this world. that I will rather be doing but taking care of you. I want you to be my wife forever, can we stand the test of time? I want to know how much you love me. show me with this hug and never let me go. this is the place that we are in right now. now that we came to understand our life. hold on for dear life. you are my world.

    Until the end of time. when you give your all things happen. you have to watch the game. if everybody forms as one. it's getting cold on this earth. money is the rule of all evil. never get caught up in that. take it one day at a time. step by step. everything and more can come your way. God will bless you. we have to fight to unite. we as people need each other. all of the senseless killing for what? everybody can act gangster. how much time are you willing to do? I'm not willing to do know time. when I have my family to protect.

    What's my name at this moment I want you to remember. that we all can get this money. it ain't about who's the boss. it's about all of us moving as one. who got the most money. if everybody eats it wouldn't be any hate. let's come together and get these chips. the game used to be for everybody now ninjas talking about selling drugs. where at let me know. where you ninjas got bricks. I ain't one for show and tell but my ninjas moving.

                                                           CHAPTER 95

    

    The streets talking the kid is not scared. 1 in chamber 16 in the clip. blasphemy that is what God said. let's play this back who gangsters who are murderers. my ninjas better stick together and don't fall out over this money. Ghost Town that's where I reside at. big up my brother rollack. if you call me my blood name call me simlack and don't ask me what's my connection. the green is on my mind. never let ninjas infiltrate.

    When you grind hard. good things happen, you can't stop me from doing this. don't worry about how we ride when it's time to get shit popping. yeah, I'm in these streets. handling big business. how much money does a young ninja want? my company doing just fine. I'm the one and only. all of my friends got money. we can't be stopped. 

    why fall back when the money keeps calling? you have to know what you want out of life or else it's going to be a long ride. Shit can't get any better. when it's a must to get money. that's all you think about. what else you are going to be thinking about. the world doesn't stop. it continues to go around. my grandmother told me to clean my belly button and that's my promise to her. may she rest in peace. as times get hard we have to have each other front and back and side. but never get sidetracked. when friends become foes. you have to do your best not to get caught up with the bullshit.

    Let's get this shit understood. you and I need to keep our mind on this money. people make mistakes it's how you deal with them. when you are in this game bad things do happen. gangsters live by the street code. if you break them you will find yourself in a bad situation. a lot of your moves come from not knowing the outcome. we have to pace our moves carefully and never let this street shit get the best of us. the game why not live in it? furthermore, keep your eyes open at all times.

    On days like this, I show the most love to my family. what's the problem? only if we knew what we were doing back then. when you ride for a man or woman. you love them with all of your heart. if she or he has trouble you can work it out. you always show her that you care and take the time to listen to her or him. baby, I know it can get hard. when you sell things and hustle but when all of that stop. I can honestly say that I'm thankful for you being here for me. baby, I have to take my time and show her that she's important to me.

    I know I'm ready to settle down. if I wife a girl she has to be the perfect person in my eyes. it's so hard for me to find a partner. when you love a girl or should I say, girls. my mind is on a mission to find her. can you send me someone to love? help me understand what love is. baby having a baby. is so incredible for a man. this goes out to everybody that's in my life. you will be blessed for keeping me close. how can we break this off? I never want this to end. you make my life better. holding you baby. kissing your lips. making love to you.

    Meeting in my bedroom. now that I got your attention. I can tell you my secret. it's only for your ears. let's get to the part when we undress each other. how do you talk to me? don't get smart. it's all or nothing when I see you. can I say call me when you are ready? the way I move can be stressful for me. when your feelings are in the middle of the bed. telling you I want you. her body had a baby I'm so thankful. the way you express yourself. I only want you. so cheating I'm gone. this is for only the ones I trust.

    Separated you took everything. but you can't have my kids. I'm not letting you get away with that. I will fight you with all of my money. you are not getting anything from me, is that all you wanted right? my mother told me not to trust you. there's nothing at all you can say to make me feel bad about the things you did. you look like it's my fault. when you and I cheated. I had an excuse. the lady that mean the most was hurting. what is a man to do? you know there's nobody that can replace you. how should I explain this?

    What do you look for in a person? when you go against the world. take my advice follow your heart feel me. In this game that I'm in you can get picked off easily. what the devil has in him trust me it's evil. people say when you live by the gun you die by the gun. ninjas making moves to provide for the one that rides with him. this gang shit is legit you have to stay bulletproof. you do your dirt by your lonely. when you feel 031 until the day you die. you have to keep it, gangster. running the one you are supposed to stack.

    It doesn't make any sense to yell at me from a distance. that's like shooting a person from a distance fuck get right up on him and handle your business. when you pick up that toast you better be willing to use it. when I was out of town people died for some bull shit. all I know is that I promise my brother I will handle this music shit. you have to be willing to take your time that's all I hear from him in my mind. I'm trying to tell him this shit doesn't stop. I'm doing this for the ones we lost. being in it until I can't rap anymore.

    When you have to go out you go out with a bang. red light green light. when I got slashed I was dead for like half an hour then someone in my family found me. I don't know if they rush me to the hospital. I'm wondering how they got me there. anyway, what was running through my mind? I have to stay at 050 at all times. east side what you know about the gang. my eyes are open for real. if ninjas want to go to war let's go. my people telling me to stay strong out here by using my mind no doubt.

    Trust the females that are in your life. never let them down. it's hard when a man tries. it's like nothing we do is good for you. how can a man stand up and be a partner? if all we are going to do is yell at each other. baby, I hope you are okay. the money doesn't mean anything without you in my life. I'm trying to live up to my expectation. you have to bear with me. while I'm in these streets. trust me it's hard. every night I think about my kids. making their life easier. baby only time will tell. how far we can go without each other.

    Heaven sent only the man above knows how your life is going to end up. everything you want in this world has to come from him. this is why I pray every night. just the thought of praising God. makes me a better man in so many cases. all I asks is for him to bless me. it's not a game if you don't keep him in your corner. you can lose on so many levels. this goes out to all of God's children. may he continue to bless you. for better or worse. how can you go on without him on your mind? when he's all over the place.

    No time dun die er. this is that gangster shit. what do I do but get a ghost? when you talk watch your mouth. all that I have to say be get money. this treetop shit is the best. 1500 you know I'm always playing the gate. just in case I have to visit black justice. holding my head. never let anyone take your joy. you should enjoy every moment you have here on earth. this world is big as fuck. one day I will like to visit other places. nothing gets past me without it going in the past. with the right path, you can accomplish a lot of things.

    This is that shit ninjas live by. you can get out of the streets. at an early age. watch the game close. it's so fucking hard in the ghetto. it never fails to be in the eyes of others. when you live in a game that gangsters live by. this shit doesn't get easy, you have to come to the table with something. that's what people respect. your name means everything to me. I can't get in trouble right now. that's the way I have to think. make sure you hold your own. the streets don't love anybody. except for my ninjas.

    Every moment is a blessed moment that I get to spend with my family. my heart hurts because we lost so many soldiers. how can we get over this? the path we are on baby never let anything come between us. when you love your family. you will do anything for them. yes, the battle is hard, I wish for that day. when we can lay down and be together. how about you tell me? what's on your mind or can I read your mind? when you are next to me. the story can go on for days.

    Forever my lady when our baby was born. I promise to do whatever it takes to keep you happy. when the time is right. we will be together. just wait to see what God has in store for us. from the first meeting we knew from the start. how can you mend my heart? from thinking you are with someone else. do you get the picture? they say a picture is worth 1000 words. I'm not going to go there to the other part. you know what I want to say. the look that you had in your eyes. mean you are faithful and I respect that, yes I do.

    This is what happened when you left me and I'm still trying to get over it. please tell me give me a sign that this girl is inside of you. she makes all of the difference, am I happy for nothing or do I have a reason to smile? thinking one day we can be together and spend the rest of our lives together. if the sign you just threw was orchestra by you thank you. the more I get in touch with myself the more I can do for my partner. talking about what I am feeling isn't that what love is? you have to walk with me a hand to hand.

    Finance the dream you want by putting money in stock. you want to be a shot caller. you have to save what you make, and spend 25% of what you make. that's a decision you have to make when dealing with money. I'm only here for that green money. watching how your investment goes. try to thug it out until you win a large amount of money. put money aside for a rainy day. that's how you have to plan. that right there I been bad on but it's time for me to get on my job. trust me it will help in the long run.

    Accumulation is what makes you more money. you have to dig deep in your pockets and then fill your pockets up. this shit ain't for everyone. you have to put blood sweat and tears into this shit. the way life is going. I want my ninjas to be healthy and thank God that their living. fam you can't think like that for real. thinking about if you weren't here know more. ninjas will miss you. you have to work on what you want out of life to achieve your goals and accomplishments will come in due time.

                                                               CHAPTER 96

    The stability you need one another to work together to build a home that can't be broken. all I see is pain when I look in your eyes. please help me get my act together and that is exactly what you did for me. giving my soul to God or did God give his soul to me and did the love of my life give her soul to you yes she did. a woman looks for a man that can provide for her and give her opportunities to be great. so she can set her own goals in life. a Woman that has set goals will accomplish them with the right man by her side.  

    Conquer what you want to conquer. fuck that follow no rules. go with your guts at all times. if you have to use a weapon pop off. I came from the dirt and turned it into a flower. get at me when she turns 33 her daughter would be 11. you transforming that yes you are. damn, I can't escape the numbers that you hit. when the math is on deck. where should I look in what small space know this is the littlest space that holds the earth and that's the dot that's on my hand. this shit doesn't make any sense.

    The only thing I can do is try my best to give you this home. that you dreamed about as a little girl. this isn't easy on me, it's taking everything out of me. you couldn't understand the time I put into making this come true. I'm telling you my mind was fucked up at one point in time. seeing you gave me the strength to move forward. I think I came a long way to get back in your life. yes, I wanted to ask you what were you doing. as you may know this set the record straight about anything you think about me.

    Pursuing your dreams can be so hard at times. please don't give up on what God has planned for you. strive to be the best that you can be. the only thing people see is me being humble not starting problems. staying in my lane. doing what I love to do. you have to be focused on your craft no matter what you do stay on your job. I know having a job that you love can bring you so much joy. when you start reaping the benefit of what you have accomplished, you would appreciate it more. 

    Conversation talking to you threw my writing. praying to God you understand what I am trying to tell you. I have so much more I want to tell you. I think God will let me finish telling you my story. as long as I'm thinking threw his mind anything is possible with everything I have exposed what you think about it thus far. my mind yes it is tied but I am going to keep writing and spilling the tea into my life. this is what I put to the full front of my life telling you things that you needed to know about me. please tell me you forgive me.

    So x said what these females want from a ninja. dealing with different females will be a problem but when all of them are on the same page things will be much easier. planning for the future and taking care of all of them can be hard. I have to level up I can't have sex with females that are having sex with different men. I'm trying to keep the ones that are with me. so I don't have to worry about different females giving me an STD. you can catch std through unprotected sex. everyone should live by the rules and wrap it up at all times.

    You need to place yourself in my situation and try to bring this type of outcome to your life. this is exactly what I did I knew it was going to happen in due time. how do you feel about the outcome please tell me. this shit doesn't end it only gets better. if it wasn't meant for you fall back. people change every day it's how you act in a situation. guiding people in the right direction mean the world to me. if I can help you trust me I will help you. playing in the field can and will get you hurt. please lay back for now maybe it will help you show your talent.

    What state of mind you are on? this business isn't meant for everyone to be in it. who ran the music industry since it started me that's who. now everyone wants to rap and show their talent right. how many albums do I have to write to show that you're not messing with me. as time passes older ninjas trying to be a rapper now. you have to put your pen to the test drop an album and see what you do. you have to go on tour. you have to write how many tracks you can write. in the beginning ninjas, I fuck with own this music business. we never gave up on our dream.

    As I write yes it gets harder to come up with these ideas but I'm going to continue to thug it out. putting my pen to the test wasn't easy it was one of the hardest tasks I ever had to do. sitting here thinking about what I have done in this business. I am so proud of myself and I know this special lady is proud of me too. when you came inside of me you brought my mind back to one place because it was all over the place. I don't know how many times I told you thank you. I think people that are reading my writings feel what I am saying.

    No, I'm not ashamed to say I did you wrong. what this has come to. please don't remind me what was done to you. I don't want to hear about it anymore, how can we move to a better place? she has this thing that all men talk to other girls, not me. I don't want to do what I use to do. you know little to nothing feel me. when the money calls you have to run for it. if you do not have money females wouldn't want to be with you. unless she's an independent woman and she has all of her shit together.

    Can't you see I'm trying to fix this relationship that we had? if you feel like you want to let go be my guess. you want a baller that has money. that's where we go wrong in a relationship because she just wants a person that has money. romance is the last part of a relationship. being together and staying together. it has to be more than that. you have to trust you have to want to build with one another. we need to be faithful to ourselves as one. we have to understand the thinking pattern one has. that's how this will last.

    This shit can get real about the argument we have with each other. one thing I was taught is not to hit a female. I can't and shouldn't raise my voice. I'm trying to keep calm but you keep provoking me to get upset with you but that's not my character. you are trying to get me out of my beliefs. women should stay in a women's place. I'm not going to sit here and go back and forth with you. this is crazy because we are supposed to be nice to one another. let me say sorry for whatever it was I did to get you upset.

    When the game stops a person like me will be right here. taking care of my company business the right way. you have to have a good head on your shoulders to make your business successful. taking care of everything while I'm young is the best thing that I can do. the reason why is so I don't have to work as hard as when I get older. this business can love you today and then hate you the next day. it's an up-and-down situation. one minute you're hot and the next minute you're not. I know you want to be in this game for a long time. so work for it.

    When you are in and out of work. you have to hustle harder than ever. you have to prepare yourself for what God has in store and take heat to it. you never know how much time you have here on earth. so you should do your best while you are here. I remember riding around with the strap out of town not looking for beef but just in case a ninja gets out of hand. I remember my cousin came to my house to get me. I had the gun on me riding across town. I got across town and had to get rid of it because we were moving to another apartment.

    You never have to show what you have. let people talk about what you have. this is the time to show and tell what you have. I have nothing I'm trying to surprise the world with my talent. step up and own what you have in this woman. how hard is it to be with you? I never thought of being apart from you. what you don't know won't hurt you. if I tell you I care it's because I do. it's not enough females that have my attention. I want you to be blessed while I handle this business that our company has. I can't get caught up in what I do out here.

    Asking for time to slow down in life but time keeps moving and moving. everywhere you look people are getting older and babies are being born. children growing parents loving their life. everything happens for a reason. people look at me like a grown-up because of the way I conduct myself. I'm not all over the place. I try to keep handling my business the best way I know how. everyone grinds differently I am trying to find out the way I grind. you have to pass knowledge down from generation to generation. to keep the movement moving on.

    Please someone tell me the difference between being in a relationship and being single. when you share a special place with someone. all you do is want to be with that person. this is the part when I got back on my grind to get back into my family life. transporting drugs from one place to the next getting money. you never know how to get down until you are in that position. carrying guns all of the time. when I was out of town. this is around the time I got sick but think about it all of the drugs I was taking. I never felt I needed sex with another female.

    What was the reason you came inside of me let me know? she's telling me to hold you down. so no one could come between us. she said she takes this relationship real serious. you will not be in and out of different women's beds and will not be going out. you know where I'm talking about. I'm not giving up on you at all. you hold me down and I will hold you down. ain't this what you wanted right yes. coming inside of you what the year 2001 and moving forward. this here is all I wanted, please watch what you do okay?

    What do you know about being loyal to your ninjas? this shit hurt my heart. my prayers go up to the real friends one has. that stick with a person when he's up or down. you never know when that person will need you. this shit can go one way or another way. grinding until the day I can't grind anymore. watching my plan and staying on my job no matter what. do shit that's going to help you in the long run. you have to control what you want out of life. playing both sides can and will get you in a jam.

    So this is when we first saw one another.  it had to be one of the best days of my life. but what if she's dating someone and she used me for money? it's funny cause her daughter is named after my cousin and my sister's baby soon to be here is going to be named after her mother. shit like this hit home because are they talking to one another and making plans for our future or are they leaving hints for me to follow? Either way the way I look at it is this could be true. so I have to believe what my sister and you are doing.

                                                              CHAPTER 97

    Here's the first year of me getting on my feet. the first thing I did was stop smoking not so much drinking. as I'm ready to build a foundation for my family. seeing you every day and how can I thank you? I put everything behind me. lay stops anything that can hurt you. all of the numbers add up. showing me you are her and that's what I believe. baby show me some more signs that you are here. I can't hope but wonder if is she walking with you. if not let me find someone to take a connection with you. but I pray it's you.

    It hurts too much the love of my life. what did you do for me, you are the one I miss baby. please tell me what you are thinking. how can you walk in my shoes? you are telling me you will never leave me but you are walking out of my life. the fights that we have. yelling at one another is making us fall apart. there isn't another man that's going to love you like me and you are saying there isn't another female that's going to love you like me. so where do we go from here with our heads pointed up? Are you telling me you are leaving because of what? I did nothing to you.

    West side how can they stop me from being who I was designed to be? when you have beef with people you handle it or sometimes you can come to an agreement that it can be peace. the only way to come together is by calling truth. you shouldn't want to get in trouble over some bull shit. you should always keep a level head out here. I'm giving you the game for free. why do ninjas want to go to war? let's get this money fuck who thinks differently from me. you better watch who you fuck with. when I tell you I'm struggling you see the pain. 

    You tell me you want this to last but he's always out in these streets. he's telling you he has to handle his business. you telling him to choose. what is this an all to pay them? I can't make up my mind about what I want to do. one part of me want to be at home with you and the other part want to be in the streets. she's telling me home is where you need to be. I'm telling her I know. let me get my act together before she walks out of my life. thanks for telling me what's on your mind and thanks for helping me grow.

    You have to sort your problems out if you want them to stop. use your mind. never stop getting money. I plan on stacking people's say when you make your dreams come true. you have to spend all of your money to make money. damn how true is that that shit is true because I'm on it right now, you gamble with it all to get on top. guess what now you are on top. what do you do next how about putting your people on? so your people can eat with you, so nobody has to ask you for anything feel me.

    You tell me one thing and do another. you have to make up your mind. you always say you want me here with you and our children. so I'm putting in the work to be the best father that I could be. you never showed your ass or acted out on me. trying to stay away from other females cause I know leaving you isn't an option for me. letting you in my life meanwhile, you have to let me in your life too. growing pains damn I'm trying to figure this out. please tell me what you want from me. I gave you my time and I invested in this relationship.

    By pacing yourself you come to an understanding about the way life is supposed to be. carrying the women no helping the women yes. being equal partners yes. standing side by side no matter what happens yes. when one fights the other one fight too. being able to love one another yes. holding one another down. watching what each other says never disrespecting your partner. putting each other in a position to win is the best partnership you can have. growing together is all I'm looking for in a relationship.

    Being all that you can be is what I'm after. be smart be great win that's what I want from you. you have been here for a long time and I'm thankful. you are the greatest person in the world. you look after me and watch every step I take out here. living here on earth and knowing that you are up in heaven makes me want to go there one day. see you when I get there. you are one strong woman to give up your life to help me out. this is the day I take my vow to protect you know matter what.

    Wipe the tears from your eyes and stand up and be a woman. take care of your family. if you can't make money the easy way try the hard way. work at a job save your money and then open up a business. people do not get wealthy by standing in one place. you have to make your dream come true. you have to put everything you have into your dream to make it work. being the underdog has its advantage. so take heat to it. by being the person that has nothing to lose but everything to gain in this world.

    If you know me you know that I give what I have to make sure my family's taken care of. putting your family first should always be the beginning. in time we should understand that growing up is a part of life. the fight does not end here we have to keep pushing for what she wants out of life don't you think? you have to better yourself for your life to move forward. this time we are going to do it the right way trust me. you cannot have any fear you have to keep on keeping on.

    Writing can be so hard at times, you have to be willing to write all of the time. you have to put your all into your writings. if you want to make this dream come true. you put the same energy into your writings as you would put into your relationship. what more can one say about the way you treat me? holding your hand at night. lying up in our bed. talking about our future and what it has in store for us. baby the love of my life be you and my children. baby, can't you see I'm trying to love you?

    What's in the Bible? I'm supposed to give my life to you Lord. reading up on you trying to understand what you went through. I'm at the point where everything seems unbelievable. she says she wants someone else hurry up and gets out. where I'm 16 years old. just think about it. it has been 20 years since I had sex with anyone in New York City. I know I always say thank you to you for doing what you did for me. walking with you next to me. make it easy to walk through life knowing you can't have sex with anyone ever again.

    Letting things go can always be hard but you have to move on. trust me I know how much you care but walking out sometimes comes across my mind. I just don't know what I want out of life. this thing of love is so hard for me. I know I'm a new beginner. the one you call your wife the so-called love of your life can be doing things behind your back. I don't know what to think about getting in another relationship. taking the one true women from me. she taught me as well as taught her things about life. 

    So I'm at a place where I have always dreamed to be. my writing has caught up to the time I had to stop doing what I was doing. I painted this picture of my life, I hope people enjoyed it. walking down this path hurt so much but getting it off of my chest feel so good. only God knows where I am going and what the future has in store for me. one thing I plan on protecting you. I can never forget what you told me. when you walked out of my life.  you told me to handle our business and that's what I did. for you and me.

    Trying to show you that everything's okay can be so hard. the way you walk the way you talk the way you handle me. the only thing I'm supposed to know is that you care for me. showing that you and I are strong enough for anyone of us to guide us through life easily. I'm the only one that's trying to make this right are you trying to put work in too? hoping that one day we come together and understand what one another is thinking and understand what one another is thinking. being that you and I both know how strong our relationship is.

    It's not what you do but how you act in any situation. the outcome makes you a man. you can have it all and you should look at that. making moves to what you like to make moves to. growing up as a man, not a little boy, every action reacts. building for you and your family. when people in your life need you more. let's understand one another let's take care of one another. the deeper you may get show how much you have grown into a man. follow yourself and no one else.

    The best time waking up is in the morning next to the person you love with all of your heart battling right from wrong which one do you choose and why? you can be a bad person then everything you do will end up in black justice or you can be a good person and everything you do will lead you in the right direction. how many times do I have to tell you you are the love of my life? baby, please understand there's nobody I will rather be with than you, you bring me so much joy in my life. that makes me enjoy life.

    So exchanging names make me believe even more, that you are meant for me, holding you in my arms. telling you that everything's going to be alright by the grace of God. how can you look the other way not me I'm looking right at you. I need you to help me get past the hard part of loving you. you are dear to my heart and never forget that. your love is all I need. where do I begin how about with you in my life? so I'm telling you please understand what I did was for me and you. look how much I have grown.

    I'm here showing you that I care about you. all I am asking is for a little respect. I know you are your personal and you will do what you want to do. when I asked you did you want to go to a concert you told me you don't like crowds and then I asked you to go to the movies with me and you said yes. but we never went so I still want that date are you still up for it? I love making sure you have what you want and now you have grown into this young lady thank God you found yourself. just knowing you don't want to be in these streets makes me so happy.

    Your love has taken a toll on me. all I want to do is make you feel better about your life. you shouldn't have to worry anymore. when you are with me. the care is on a 100 strong. you may not understand everything I'm talking about. I know sometime I may sound crazy at times. smart people talk about things that people do not understand. the conversations I have is limited to people that don't turn me on. the dos and don't's in this relationship. you have to be with me and only me. why cheat on your lover?

                                                                  CHAPTER 98

    Like what staying on the block pumping works. at any time jake can come to get my ninjas. what the fuck do ninjas want from me, ninjas get popped every day. I'm knowing if I would've stayed jake would've been looking for me. that blood shit was in full effect. going OT made mad money out there feel me. throwing time at black justice not knowing if I was going to get locked up. but when it comes down to my family they have to eat feel me. I will do anything for the dough learn to put the work in the bag then get money.

    What do we have here God bless you? you are the temple that God was talking about being next to and praising him. yes, I know you have been here since I saw you for the first time. creating words to say to you. she chooses to be with you and you are doing everything in your eyes to make things right even if you are in another body. she shares this place in my heart and I can't shake it. please show me the way and I will follow you. God says you reap what you sew. I guess I didn't do anything wrong.

    I know you cheated I can tell by the way you act now. you not returning my phone calls on time. when I'm going inside of you it feels different like someone else has been inside of you. that's okay because now I'm going to find someone else. you do not have to worry about me again I promise. I want you to hear me and hear me loud and clear. there are a million females ready to replace you. who will it be I am now looking for one to replace you. she has to be faithful to me. I have no time for the little kid games.

    I'll be the one I know if I have a child with this woman. I will do everything in my power to take care of my child. you can sweat me she can sweat me but see sin staying right here. is this the answer you were looking for? how can I make you believe me? you say men don't change but what if I had a bad experience? being with different females and don't want that anymore. I want someone that I can spend the rest of my life with. you said you will always be in my life. you promise me you will take on this thing called love.

    Please God take away the pain that I had when I found out you took my baby. I know death is life because exchanging souls meet one another. I have been battling this for some time now. I can't get over you taking my partner from me and the only thing I ask is why. maybe your plan is bigger than mine and you needed her for a reason. that I will never understand. you took my protector and the love of my life. everyone walks with a shadow and when you call us our soul goes up in heaven but not hers she stayed right here with me.

    Here she goes telling me what I am saying. this is so adorable. the way she reminds me that she's watching me like a hulk. being that I understand what you are saying to me. keep doing what you are doing. this is what keeps me on my toes. this is the way my baby will be on me trust me. you have all of her ways. I need you more than ever you keep me strong and my attention on my Writing. the way things come together when I write makes me understand how hard I am working and once again you never seem to amaze me and keep looking after me.

    Covering things that need to be covered. like if she was inside of you, so you say you lamp inside of you. how can you be so sure of that? the only way you can be sure is if the dot that runs threw my body run threw yours. rule number one for a person to be chosen by another person. that person has to respect you and believe in you. she has to know where she is going is safe for her. she has to know there will not be any cheating or lying. she has to know you are her protector at all times. for her to walk in your shoes you have to be someone she trusts.

    If I had one more day with you. I will tell you before you go back to Jesus' arms. where you are keeping him company until I get there. he needed you there with him. you know you stopped his tears from flowing down his cheeks. people say when it rains he's crying. please watch over me and continue to bless me. is it a problem that I gave my life to him and I don't want to do what I use to do? this man got me out of bad situations that I was in. I remember I use to pray to him to keep me safe and yes he did.

    You put me in this position. so why would I cheat on you? giving up your life to help me out. you are the only one I need even when people turned their back on me. I can't go one day without you in my life and the thought of finding another female and then she breaks up with me. how will I explain that to my daughter? I have to think about what is good for her. I can't mess up because I have to watch her. I want you to know that you are the love of my life. he has put his hands on me and I walk with him in different.

    Kept her close to me. you made this wish that you can be with me. you said your goal into my goal. coming back inside of me. what have you learned may I ask you is everything okay inside here? she answered yes you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. we have been through so much together and now we stand here faithful to one another. let know one take this from us. how can you bless me some more please tell me. the thought of us parting ways. I never thought of that or it never cross my mind.

    You hold me together and I'm here for you for the sake of our child. keep talking to me, helping me write these songs. I want to know how your mind thinks and the way your body needs me. I need you more than ever can't nobody walk in your shoes? you were one of a kind to me. I'm trying to get over the fact that you are no longer here on earth. yes, I know that Christ needs you but why you couldn't stay by my side? she's telling me the higher power was calling her. who am I to tell you don't go home? keep a space for me.

    Changing for the better maybe I have to find someone different to be in my life. it seems like everyone is doing the same thing. this is me speaking from the heart. Lord, what can I do for you? you set me on this path and I have followed it to a tee. should I look for a new beginning? I need to start over with new women in my life but first I have to see my daughter. nothing will keep me from taking care of you. this life we live wouldn't be where it is at if it wasn't for your mother and your mother gives me the willpower to go on.

    My soul isn't feeling right. the meaning of loving you. I put my all into this relationship. being here for you isn't taking my time. the greatest thing you could've given me was you. all of this is because of you. the time you have given me inside of my soul. when your dots travel through my body makes me feel so alive. I know the 16 slashes down the temple and the 17 one going on my back as the cross and I hate saying the cross so remember to say status. I can't feel it because I do not have the right temple.

    Here and now I take you to be my wife. know more about other relationships. you are the one for me. you are the only one I want to go inside of. your body is calling me and it is telling me to come inside with no problem. in some cases, you have to protect yourself. if I have to protect myself I don't want to enter your body. the one I'm going inside of has to be clean. she must give herself to God and herself to me. that's the only way we can be together trust will be there.

    Baby hold on to my love. the world is not easy you need help and I'm here to help you out. baby the rule of this thing called love. I wouldn't mind buying you anything that you want. please hold on to me. when I wake up in the morning you put the first smile on my face. getting up to you cooking me breakfast that's what a woman that's woman do for her baby. while I'm at work she calls to check on me to make sure I'm good. the little things do count in a man's life.

    You make me out to be the bad guy. your mother yelling at me telling me to go away because of what you told her. why are you telling her lies? you the one cheating on me. I'm not cheating on you. yes, you are, and if you ask me how do I know? the signs are showing you are not home on time. you're out all night hanging out with your girlfriend so you say. it can be another man you think I'm stupid. please don't insult my intelligence with the bull shit about me being wrong because I know that I'm telling the truth.

    Please don't let the beast out of me. please maintain your life. this shit depends on how long you going to be in the game. it ain't about who got more money it's about who can stay out here on these streets the longest. you have to watch the boys so you don't get locked up. when you hustle in these streets. the streets don't love you when you're off your game but when you are on top of your game ninjas hate you. you can't have it both ways so get money and fuck what ninjas think. this goes out to all of my money-making ninjas.

    You call this a home and somewhere you want to stay. I know living here is hard work and it takes dedication. you look into that person's soul and see if he wants to be with you. baby, I will get down on one knee and ask you to be my wife. didn't I tell you my heart couldn't be strong if you are not watching over me? both of us have to want this. sometimes my heart feels like walking out and finding someone else but what would my wife say about that? so you have to stay on my mind, so we can find one another again.

    Let's see if I can bless this verse. what goes up must come down. this that music you can't touch. ninjas had ever since I was 13 until 23 to get their shit right. I came back home damn I pass you twice that's what jay z said in his song. when you are on top of your game. there's nobody that can take that from you. I learned since I was a kid that ninjas will give you nothing. what have you taught me about this game? I had to learn the streets by myself and I must say I learned it well. you can't take that from me.

    As days go by what is a man supposed to do? if I fall will you pick me back up and help me get on my feet? this is the beginning of our life. what will you do for me that I won't do for you? I can't figure you out. one minute you are with me and the next minute you want to leave. how am I supposed to know what you think about this relationship? knowing you are my queen and I'm your king? baby yes I miss you am I a widow? this is the question I am asking myself. please if you hear me answer me.

                                                               CHAPTER 99

    God, what more can I do for you? I come to you Lord with my head held up. asking you for forgiveness, do you accept my prayer? my people are dying of senseless crimes like murders. people have to wake up. sometimes I feel like I'm the only one rushing to you. the thought of life left here to see you and her the trust is there. being in your life for a reason thank you for guiding me through hard times. yes, I look up to you for everything that this life has in it. please stay by my side then I will know this thing that I'm working on will go well.

    Lay I'm sitting here thinking about your mother. preparing to speak to her one day. what will I say well let me start by saying? I'm going to tell her her daughter is wonderful and she always says she can't wait for you. that's why I had to come and get you from heaven so you can walk with me. are you her I'm asking you this because I'm looking for her. my life wouldn't be the same without her in my life? do you take this woman to be your wife yes I do and do you take this man to be your husband yes I do?

    Embrace what you love and do it to the fullest. be proud of what you have accomplished in your lifetime. grow one with your partner. my partner is inside of me and her power is controlling the rain because I have this dot on my hand and it's a black cloud that needs water to mix with this tree to grow. the way she respected me by coming inside when things could've gotten out of hand. that's what a wife does for you. I wish people tell the truth about why things happened because I came back home and then everything stop.

    You can't touch what you can't feel. your first move can cost you your life. in everything going on finding yourself by yourself. making way for you to get out of the situation that you are in by staying true to yourself. never give up on what you want. this shit ain't for everyone so you have to believe in it. you have to take this shit seriously if you want it go after it. make sure you give it your all. never turn your back on your dream. people get sidetracked real easy not me I'm staying focused.

    Please seeing her brings tears to my eyes. you see the shit that's going on but you know how this young man gets down. I never get upset with things I can't fix. when you look in the eyes of a true ninja. what do you see in my eyes? the pain of a person that been in this game for a long time now. I have been doing this for some time now. handling street business is all I want to do. where that weed at over there then he walks and I'm pulling out the wire shot one shot two my man telling me to relax I'm telling him I'm making.

    The closer I get to you. climbing over everyone to get to you. what she saw in me no one saw it and she is in charge of this life we live. please don't walk away stay here with me. you tell me you are that 036 babies how will I know? I'm taking my mask off so you get to see my face and the real me. I'm not hiding from who I am. I am showing my true colors. is that the man you fell in love with her answer was yes. the more we grow the more we understand one another. baby, please don't let me down.

    Come on with what you want. what about what I want out of life? you stay on that bull shit telling me I'm nothing. let me get something straight with you. who do you think you are talking to? watch your mouth let's not fight at all. let's be at peace fighting gets us nowhere. knowing that we are dying inside as we get older. I can't take the back-and-forth yelling at one another. you are supposed to be my heartbeat. you are supposed to fight for me. let's come to an understanding of where our life supposes to be.

    My name is little l’s. I had a lot of friends that I fuck with. They were Some older men one name blank and one name blank to tell you the truth blank was one of my soulmates on the drug tip. Chopping grams up with wake. Wake was l’s daughter. In all little l’s had About 80 keys of cocaine. blank wanted to go out of town. He needed l’s to go with him L’s saying not yet. He wasn’t rushing him but that was the type of move that blank was Making. 

    Wake hands hurting from chopping all of them grams up. L’s telling her With the rest of the keys we have to go out of town. So wake was like alright. blank is Out of town doing his thing out there. Money was coming in from all of the work that we had. It’s looking Like it’s paying off. Too many moves were made that had the feds mad. They wanted to Lock anybody that was down with this they didn’t give a fuck.

    They want what we were doing shut down quickly but we do not giving a Fuck about jail. We knew that some people can’t be that trusted. With all of this money, People will hate even people that work for you in this game. I had no choice but to get back where I’m supposed to be at. Not Giving a fuck about the people that did what they did to me. The best thing for me to Do was to not give any of them handshakes until I was where I needed to be. 

    Let them watch the money stack up in front of them. I had to play catch up now that my money passes them I can make moves as I need to without selling drugs and Working on my writing. The last thing does not talk about shit you don’t know. This game is so fucked up you got mad people telling. That’s why I Wouldn’t get in this game with some people. I’m a true person and I will never talk about What is going on with me and my friends.

    Words that come out of my mouth can’t even explain what I have Going on in our life. The pressure of a family growing and the kids having things is on Me and you know I had to handle that. How can we make up for the lost time? We need to get together real soon. 

    It seems like a lot of kids are being born. Layla, I hope she remembers what I told her When I saw her and knows where she’s at in my heart. We had a lot of conversations about what we wanted to do. So why Wouldn’t I make what we talked about come true? For the last seventeen years, I have been making It work for us. Damu always wears the color green around my neck.

    Are you the one for me? so today I will see I'm not looking for a child wondering if this is true. every day the prayer goes up if it's true. looking into her eyes gives me the chills. I'm looking for someone to help me out when it's time to get this business together is it you. the way things are going maybe it's true. you are doing everything to let me know that you are faithful but are my thoughts getting stronger for no reason, picking her up and holding her in my arms? 

    This blood shit stuck with me from a kid. this dot com on my hand. all ninjas want to do is hustle out here. I'm ready for whatever comes my way that the game has to offer. place your bet on how much money I got, holding this title as a drug kingpin. putting this shit on my back. on the other hand, follow the rules. the right way and never give up. so what if people think you doing wrong? follow your path and something good may come from it. Being one with yourself means you can be one with the grind that you are on.

    If you plan on winning in this life. stay humble and level-headed. if the only thing you want to do is flip bricks. you have to stack the money that you make. you never know when things can get hard. you have to save up for a rainy day. it ain't nothing to go in the stash to get money. yes, I have to prepare myself for the worse with no hesitation. people always want to see a young man that's getting chips to fall off. you watch my back while I watch my front. this shit doesn't make any sense about the way we as black men think.

    Save me or let me go on about my business. I can't understand why you let me down. you talk a good one about you know what. you can't make a female or a male change. people are going to keep doing what they want to do. you have to show your partner in a relationship that you are here for one another. saying one thing and doing another. what do you want out of this relationship. the only way one can figure you out is by you telling me what's wrong if we don't communicate with one another how will I know?

    Taking things one day at a time. please don't hold back your love. seeing me looking at you. the way your body is shaped. it gets me in the mood to do everything to your body. that you will let me do to you. Are you crazy if you don't think I love you? sex lasting for hours almost all night long. you are willing to go all night but the sex is so good that I tap out early can you blame me? the reason may be because I'm sipping and I'm a little tipsy can you blame me? the motion in and out of you baby you are so beautiful.

    Where are we going? let people say what they are going to say about us. she's saying she wants a changed man. baby boys don't change you need a man. call it what you want she has made mistakes too. deep down in my heart moving on may be hard. why look up to you oh because you are up in heaven waiting on me. I can't wait to see you again. the only way a female will be able to join us is if she has the key to Jesus' soul. when you see me and look me in my eyes do you see blood tears baby I'm trying to be a man.

    So you have everything together right? so you're not lost out here right. so why are you sleeping with any and everyone out here? sorry, shorty that means you are lost. what are you looking for love right? as busy as one could be. watch what you say around people that want to have sex with you. so there are so many females willing to lie down with me. ether you coming over here or are you over there? this body is for trustworthy females and if that's not you bye. she says I'm brainwashing her not me I'm just telling you facts.

                                                              CHAPTER 100

    What did I do to deserve you? you keep me on my feet. baby, you couldn't understand the way I feel about you. I'm not looking for anyone else but you. one of the reasons I cheated I mean what you let me do. hurts my heart this is my sorry. I have been apologizing for some time now and if you need to hear it again I'm sorry. the way you kiss me and look me in my eyes. this should be a crime the way you make my soul feel. I'm trying to keep everything on track because one mess-up can cause us everything.

    Yes, the temptation is pressure but you have to follow your mind. Maybe God will help you through those hard times in your life. battling what people say because I have my mind. that will lead me in the right direction. what am I supposed to do about her leaving me because I did so much to her. she said she's never looking back, what she said she meant it because she's no longer in my life. when your baby girl died on that day and five days after that and seven after that meant the world to me.

    The way you go shows what type of person you are and who will you become in the future. I never meant to lie to you. God had a plan for me and yes I gave myself to him. bow down in front of him and he will rise you up and will walk with you. if there's anything you can't do he will guide you through it trust me. being one with him means you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. it's like a domino effect.

    Let's stand strong and handle the outcome of any situation. people may ask how much more you need. never let up grind until you can't grind anymore. what a working man has to do to stay above water. I don't want my ninjas out here dying it's more we can do out here like uplifting our black men. making a way out of the streets. follow the rules that we get down for. never let a person have the upper hand. the struggle is real out here and we should understand that.

    What was the dream about you may ask me. fighting for my life. keep pushing is what he said and then he said you found me. you better believe I'm right next to you. the game fuck it handle your business and don't worry about who's having sex with whoever. I'm telling him I still remember the $20 you put on the shelf of the closet in the same place I grab the baby nine and aimed for the temple. asking me in the car if I was ready to take over the family business. meaning what this drug empire is.

    We as a people have to do better to get a team that can't be touched. building wealth by trying your best to get the best investment people behind you. nobody wants to be rich when their young and wild and when they get older they have nothing to show for it. I want my team to get money yes it's on its way taking my time. I want my people to grow as people. people may not see it the way I see things. sometimes people want to give up on life and fall for anything. looking at my daughter makes me work harder trust me.

    So I'm looking for a girl. tell me if you want to be my girlfriend. one that wants to go out on the town dancing all night unto the sunrise. you are the one in my path looking at you. you are my baby be here never turn your back on me. treating the one you love is not tricking that's providing for her. what's so wrong with that nothing and whoever thinks differently? can go to hell am I heaven sent that's another connection.

    What if we break up what will I do from here on? maybe look for another shorty that will take her place. I'm not looking for one that has all of the ways as her. sorry for the way people treated you in the past but why do you think I'm the same? this right here is a grown man. miss me with the bull shit. the only thing I know is we do better and better things will happen to you. show and tell her how much you miss and love her.

    What do you think about dancing with the devil? everything is show and tell I mean the best way to show life. this is the mission that you have to step into the world with. riding down the highway I95 on a mission and the mission was to get the work to the south. how do you figure your life can change quickly you never know what a man has in store for you. if it ain't one thing it's another. drawing from the bank giving it all to you now you balling out of control. what else is there for me to do?

    Creating the game from nothing. ninjas stayed rolling deep getting money. why would I fall back? pushing for money by staying in these streets. everyone wants to get money. holding her hands dancing this is impossible first she wants me but she's saying oh no. grabbing this female and taking her out for the night. what more can I say? she's always talking about how she wants me. being her only for the rest of her life. this goes out to the players that are in this game. this shit doesn't change.

     Somehow some way. holding this mic rapping about the good time I spent with you. I can remember the time sitting there next to you. while you doing what you do to me. after it was overtime again it looked nice to go outside. you should be proud of what you did for me because I am thankful for you. taking care of an older man. thinking about the time we will spend together when we get older. you showed me things that I never knew whether you know it or not. how you looked at me seeing you today. the faith that this man be a good father to your child.

    This is the place that I want to be. yes, hard work does pay off. I remember sitting in the house and realizing I had to go out and get the money one way or another. ninjas never want to see you doing your best. how can we come together and help each other out? yes, I am trying to buy and invest in companies. that's where all of the money came from. I will continue to work you can't outwork me. the grind doesn't stop at all. you should play your part and strive for what's right. the game is over I can't see myself going to black justice.

    Who can stop a person that put his mind to what he wants to do? growing up is a part of living if you don't grow up. you will find yourself in deep. I can't be out here acting like I don't give a fuck about my life. sometimes you have to associate yourself with people that are getting money. if your crew has a strong leader. you will go far in life. step by step things will grow. that's why I count my blessing. the man upstairs gives you what he wants to give you. just in case you didn't know walk light and carefully.

    Thinking about her makes me feel some type of way. being out of town doing everything wrong that one can do. but don't forget I didn't step out on you. baby, my world was turned into a nightmare. people getting killed right before my eyes. people that got murdered hit home I guess that's why I am the way I am. just imagine holding the fort down. a young man had the world on his shoulders. I still miss the times we had running around handling business. nobody couldn't tell us anything.

    Excuse me miss she's telling me she has a boyfriend and so what. you better not play with me about that. my girlfriend is inside of me. when I move she moves that's why I'm looking for someone to change her life into or is the lady I think she's inside walking with her. so she calls me saying happily belated I'm saying I couldn't get the phone call at the right time. how do you know what I like and no guessing but you can be a guest of mine to join me for dinner.

    If being the man that changed his life for the better. I can't be mad at you. this is what our young and old black men need to do. why are we still acting like a child when we have children? I want to learn more from others. a conscious mind is well developed. we think of what we can do to improve our lives. others think about what they can get right now. I want to see into the future and what it has in it. I need thinkers on my team if that's you then you can get down with me.

    The more you write the more your mind goes places it never thought it could go. you may ask what is the right move a man can make in these streets. building self-equity for himself. making sure his children have something when I pass away. yes, I have to think into the future because if I don't who will? I have to make sure my children are ahead when I die for them to have the best life. leaving my children a company that I built from the ground up is amazing to me. creating an outlook for them to continue to succeed.

    The more we go to war the more people are going to die. are you ready for that I have to think smarter than you if I want to be the person that lives on. you have to make the money now. nowadays you can't be the man that you want to be because women think that every man is the same. when you find a changed man you don't even notice it. you always say that there's nothing different.

    They can't fade me before it's my time. you have to remember I'm still young and at my best right now. how does that look letting you take my place? it can't happen because I'm in it for the long run. what do you want from me I promise myself that I wouldn't help you out with your problems. I can't smoke so you know I'm popping bottles is what I'm doing. I move at my pace not fast or slow just right.

    Just started this life of mine getting back to where I needed to be for people that's been with me from day one. my children do not have to explain what they went through without their father but I'm here to make it better. just look back on my life I meant that it was headed in the wrong direction but I changed it up and headed in the right direction. I hope all of the girls that are in my life love me as I love them.

                                                            CHAPTER 101

    Sexy the hold time I'm crying mean what do you wipe the tears from my eyes. it does not stop everyday people have to live their life. by the time I get out of the ghetto, my children should know how hard I worked. what's the difference between girls and boys not too much do they want to go out and work for themselves knowing that they are in power themselves. some girls don't need a man to take care of them. that's what I like to see. they don't give a fuck about us. I'm here what did it look like they are the victim but in reality, I'm the victim?

    It does not get better for me it's more drugs watch how I handle this. it ain't hard to tell who has money and who does not have money in this game. when I got back I must a meant that I was aiming for the top and take down whoever had it you know who that was right now look at you. taking care of what's on my plate and aiming for more. I have to do so don't ask any questions about what's going on and how I get money in this game. playing the part that was given to me by Jesus Christ.

    So she's having a baby, the joy it would bring to know that I'm the father. but how when I never laid with her. the birth seed on my hand. tells me that it could be possible that she's carrying my child. the story begins in faith holding your hand while our baby is born. what you show her or him I know you will show ether or something special. be great as a mother. only time will tell if your heart is with mine. the thought of you raising my child or is it all just in my head?

    She's always telling me I'm cheating, and what other women I want to be with. you are the love of my life. baby girl you changed me for the better. I tell you in our mind conversation how much I love you. growing with you everything you can go through trust me I've been through it. my smartness is growing on you. you do things the right way. I'm trying to show you the same respect you show me right? that's how it's supposed to be. I'm trying to be true to you, the mother of my children are you okay?

    Finding myself meant for me to find us as a family I rather Have it this way I’m God's Body to my kids I do love you. I know when I sent y'all To school some girls didn’t like you. but I didn’t sin y'all to school to fight so wake told me What happen and me being your father got upset and guess what I handle it as a man. I wonder why people had to die because first come y'all and you know that.

    D rob me I just pray for my death in hands of another person. These thoughts keep coming but people like layer keep I person like me on the right path. Who murdered me you've been making drug deals with the other side it’s nothing new to Me but I got people why do you think you got hit? I meant that my love is strong but not stronger for what was done to me. I meant that hard times came and I had to depend on these streets. It Prepare me for what was in these streets.

    The grind by hustling I don’t want in anymore. But I can’t get out right now so I’m handling mine and nobody’s going to stop me. Performing is that what you want out of everything yes. for the most part we were a family that had everything. I’m not saying it like that but we were alright. I made sure every holiday we had. I know money isn’t everything.

    You can’t understand why the setup was in order but you know what I said about that fuck them and father family was with me at a time of need. I promise myself when the time comes I will close everything and anything that they have. tuff if it had to be like that for those bitch as people. I know I promise myself that I wouldn’t say the N-word but some people deserve it. My whole life without my father but I am a man people look in different ways wake me up.

    I can understand what Nas meant in thugs mansion. I Can't Cry but it’s killing me from the top of my heart. You touch down from being out of Town without knowing if will I be back but who cares about the family that was up there? why do people call their girlfriends bitches. Sometimes they make us heart broking and we can’t take things from them. But as long as I got a mother I will not call you a bitch.

    So now we are at a standstill in life. where do we look and where do we go in life? this mean 2017 all of this happened too fast. yes, I want to keep you in my life, how can you move on and forgive me? you should be here now and forever, please don't say I didn't warn you about the love I have for you. the more we put in this relationship the more we are going to get out of it. I'm telling you this from my heart. both of you need to look at what you have in this life. if you want to go out there be my guess. you have two options to be here or out there.

    Show me what you want me to see. that's the only way I will understand you. let me know if the numbers add up. I'm taking the city by storm and all I want to do is keep banging so I and my ninjas can keep eating. being out of town with my young gangsters getting to it. the way I move down there. all I want to say is that drug dealers like you but don't handle business as you do. running around with a lot of folks, trust me they do not play. that's why I had to get in the mood with drugs. carrying the gun on me. ready and willing to get at any person feel me.

    How's your day going I know it's a special day for you. youngster can't wait until her day comes. Do days keep flying how do you feel? the love that I have for you. your body is calling me. celebrate your day the right way. there's more accomplishment for us. I will never let the both of you down. holding my heart kept me closer to you. what is the one thing you want from me? how about we stay faithful to one another until we go to heaven? the music plays songs in my head for you. in time we will have everything that we want. it's taking time rite I know.

    The way blacks treat one another. when one thinks outside of the box is unbelievable. just because my mind is on my company shouldn't mean I'm not the same man because I don't want to sleep with girls that sleep with a lot of other men. Do you think I'm the crazy one look at us for a minute and tell me who's winning. I'm not trying to compare us to other races. all we know is hoes and hitches just because I want to better myself makes me an outcast no it makes me a thinking man. that want a woman that has plans for her future. that's all I'm saying.

    How can we have strong young black females if we are treating them like that? try to walk in my shoes. I'm trying to follow my mind and it's telling me to look for the right one. not everyone wants to be in the streets all of their life. I got other things on my mind. you see how these females act and what they are doing using men for money. sleeping with any and everyone, when I decide to lie down. I pray to God she is that special woman. one that I love what's wrong with that? you want one that sleeps with any and everybody. I have no problems in my life. looking at the ones that I care for I hope you are here with me.

    You always tell me to call you if there's something wrong. my world is turning upside down on the brink of an eye. are you stepping out on me? it's a simple yes or no baby I need to know. the way the world is going I need women in my life. it's not alright to cheat on your lover. everyone wants to be like the important females. meaning the ones that are out there having sex for money. I want to plan a future with you. why are you telling me to wait is there someone else you're into and it's not me? the hurt I feel but I'm alright. I'm going out tonight.

    Since I lost you my world has never been the same. I'm thinking I should move on but looking for one that's just like you. I will never find someone like you. you handle all of my business when I was on the streets. I remember you use to hit me for big stacks. every time you came to see me. I had the bag for you. even when I was handling business you were there to pick up the money. you were my ride-or-die female, weren't you? after all of this time, you still hold a special place in my life.

    All of have in this world is my balls holding it up. what you know about the streets that you are into out here. the mind should stay on money. try not to fall off before things happen. you may not understand who the ones to mess with are. the dog is hungry at all times. heaven might come back to where the blood starts hitting the streets. that's all ninjas are waiting for me to give them the word and it will start. the way you move should be uplifting give me a second to get my shit together. how will you know when a female is using you? you won't know so continue to get your money.

    What you thought I couldn't break it.  let's leave the past in the past from here on. yes, I made it to the finish one more after this. the work I put in you will never find a ninja that put this much work in. I'm telling you about every part of my life that I went through. when I came home I didn't know where I was going because I was fighting to get back into your life. you know I put my heart into this here and it will never stop. that's the reason you help me out. I'm back in your life. she knew what I was worth. accomplishment feels so good to me and I want to thank you for believing in me.

    Now that we made it to where we need to be. we can go on with our lives and live happily ever after. the work I put in took a lot out of me but for our family I did it. I will never look back at the fact that you and I can love each other again. looking forward in time this is the relationship I wanted. this life right here means the world to me. you made me this strong man and I am proud to call you my wife. the way you walk the way you talk the way you look at me. how can this love be is what I am asking you, yes you are my world?

    When you manhandle you won't be waking up with breakfast in bed. I want one that knows what she wants for herself, not one that's lost. the fighting no the cheating no. I'm looking for the one that will mother a child for me. I'm not in any rush to jump in bed with a girl. one that has nothing going on for herself means nothing because you can't grow with her. one that's educated one that's thinking about the future. when a man feels a woman he will know that she's the one for him. looking maybe hard but trust me I have all of the time in the world.

                                                               CHAPTER 102

    I want a friend and a lover. people may say I'm soft because I want more for myself. seeing all that men and women go through. I want to change the way I think about women because not all females are strong enough to hold me down. people say different so I met my match or should I say my soulmate like hova said, you are the rock that holds me together whether you know it. the way you keep me on my toes. you are my partner in crime, the things you know about yes you took it to the grave with you. if you play your cards right.

    When you have things that a young-minded girl wants she will do whatever it is you want. she can be older or young and wise. it's all how she was raised, making love to you no because I'm working don't get it twisted I want to be there. one way or another I have to work. how about getting together when we get older? you always told me to put our family first before anything and that's what I am doing. people make mistakes and I'm sorry. the new me knows what I want out of life. you can't tell me one thing and do it differently.

    She says stick to the rivers and lakes that I'm used to and that's what I am doing, turning my back on my family God may not like that. I can't go chasing waterfalls, the firstborn was a boy and her last name start with that and she's turned into a girl. two children each child was a boy with a girl stuck inside of them. so I guess now that we are here back on earth. that means two are females and one boy triplets. they say God works in mysterious ways. the man upstairs knows what he is doing. he places me in this position for a reason.

    What if I told you I was diggin' on you? what would you say you love my dam! you should be here with me in the park. there can't be light and dark in the same place at the same time. you are my queen trust me. yes, you get me upset changing your mind after all we've been through. you know how much I care about you. what is today the 4th of July? the second you stop thinking about me. I will get mad at you. show me love and affection before I go somewhere else. you know I'm just playing but you know I need some attention.

    How can I hold my ground in a world full of a bunch of ninjas getting money? I tell them I stand out I'm one of a kind and don't forget it. this is the calling for my ninjas that bust their guns. you know where to find me. I'm so dedicated to the ninjas that fuck with me. if a ninja trip trying to get this money make sure you get right back up. how is it so many ninjas supposed to be getting it? what you think this ain't the shit. ninjas died for this shit and ninjas going to black justice for this fuck that. I'm not giving the folks know time feel me.

    Battle all sorts of things. people do not understand me for no reason at all. trust and respect who you are dealing with before something goes wrong. have faith that your partner is doing right by you. never give up on her stay faithful to her. deal with things as they come. what should a young man do? when he thinks about the one that you love. what am I supposed to do when the one you love gives up on you? you fight for her and everything will be okay in your relationship. they do and don't in a relationship should be one an understanding about life.

    What one should do without the one by his side in this life? everyone has their ups and downs. I'm trying to protect you for all the better. people may not understand the way people see things or why it's so hard to take care of you. what should she accomplish when she's with you? the thought of people with you means the world to me. grinding for her every single day of both of our life. when you see things that she's into may have a better outlook on life. for the most part, stand by her and take care of her.

    The only way to find out if a person is personal with you is she can't be cheating on you. you should always show her more love. the way things are going means the world to me. show you care and have compassion for one another. you never want to show you don't care about her okay. she can be the love of your life one day then she can be at her worst the next day. I want her to understand that nothing in this world is going to change how I treat you. it doesn't matter how much money I have or if I have nothing. you showed me love and I show you love back.

    The thought of leaving you. people try to guide me in the wrong direction but I'm not falling for it. I know my shorty will be next to me. you can't call all of the black women hoes and hitches. the down talk is what they want us to think. my shorty isn't here anymore oh know she's here in another soul. she's living her life buying what she wants. when you support women that woman can help you grow into a strong black man trust me. if you not giving them something to look forward to a course they're going to be lost and be sexing everyone for money, not mine.

    You better follow the rules to a tee. please don't push what we have to go into a relationship not just yet. you have to get to know me first right? you always tell me you want more from me. what you mean is the world of our relationship is in your hands. I'm upset at the fact you don't hold me down for real. getting next to a baller please shorty you ain't all that. when you grow up from being a youngster. you look at the world differently. what do you get out of cheating on me nothing right? you better straighten up before things get messy feel me.

    We knew what it was when we became a part of it. baby, I hope you understand everything was for you. the one I miss so much, at times I go to sleep with you on my mind. I want you to know exactly what I feel in my heart. holding onto the times we had back in the past you always made me smile. you made me show a part of myself that I never showed. that's the way you had my heart and there's nobody that can replace you my fault yes there is and I hope she is showing me the same love that I showed her. the way you use to help me out. I will never forget that trust me.

    The things you do for me. shows you care about me and thinking about me. sometimes I want to let go and move on because I don't know what you are doing. there are other girls out here. I need one that is looking to love me. my whole heart is for you and our family. why do I have to go through this every day of my life? we both need to get our shit together from here on. you always make moves without me that's what she said to me. how do you want me to move? even when you do things you do not include me. why is that?

    This blood shit we in mother fuck the other side. you better be prepared for the gangster hustle deep in the game. you watch what you do. I'm telling you're ninjas get your money. how can you fuck with me? if you have never been outside of your comfort zone. this here is a no-fly zone. New York City plays for keeps. ninjas always want to say I'm the man. sex money murder. this red shit is all I live by. let's get something correct 5 is still popping. get money fuck what ninjas say game over.

    Ninjas cross me at the end of the day. I wasn't even getting money at that time. just got out from a murder trial let me change that I got out on bail. x said if the Feds looking for the dog oh that ninjas out of town. who wants to bang or number 11? when I was a young ninja body after body. that's how a young ninja was on it but I changed for the better. ninjas still want the guy to get back on his bull shit. I look my children in their eyes and I can't go back feel me. this shit will get a ninja killed. I still got ninjas that still catch bodies out here. the streets don't change follow the leader.