BOOK 10

                                                            CHAPTER 147

Get down or lay down. it’s a lot of talk going on about Harlem. where are the so-called dogs? everyone said something about when they see him it’s going to be a problem and y’all ain’t doing nothing. These 5 here can’t go back outside but for CO trust me I’m willing to do the time and let’s not include these females because it’s a man thing. y’all got a young man waiting on that kite to come down from up top. people talk about how who with who. I’m not waving a white flag. use to be my dog you were in my left titty.

My Second Reply

Against All Odds only if blank knew how many died. when I was outside handling business the kid was facing life right then went on the run. I remember wake driving me around the block and I told her to stop there because then I’m walking up the block. the ribbon wasn’t at the top of the steps. something happened to this female and I took it into my own hands releasing 17 in his body. so my uncle was dating this 12 lady right then passed the 12 to me that’s when it got ugly outside for better or worse.

I called this time and said we are having games in the park and she said did our team win and I said I’m staff. I know what that meant because a song just came out called attention. you are right when I’m wrong, the feeling I have for you believe me when I say I miss you. please don’t make me regret this because I put so much love into this relationship. please don’t be on that bullshit. when she calls me it is late like 3 am. I want to give you this whole man because you are a strong woman.

With All, That’s Going On In The World We Can Kill One Another But are Scared To Do Anything To The Enemy. we are not trying to fix the problem. so let me say this how many more people have to die before we fight back? we have to use our minds and build. everyone so far on with what they have like money understands the value of money. we are supposed to be building and owning things but we can’t look back we have to continue writing the dot is alive.

I have things on my mind and that’s to be great. people couldn’t see my vision but I saw it and these females that were with me saw what I saw. this is me letting you know the greatest thing God put in my life was you. how can one man have so many females that care about him? mom yes I understand that our children are okay. I want them to know I’m here and tell my little man that I love him. I’m the one that has to protect them and trust me I will. this is coming from my heart believe me.

Ain’t growing apart of life with your life what good do you do. the killing of our people should be on people's minds. if you have any sympathy for people. you should turn your life around as a people because it’s coming to our last days. God got a plan for us because we are made in his image believe me. you should only believe half of what people say and if you see things that can hurt you just move on. people will not understand your plan until you have it executed. so grind hard for yourself and remember she’s watching you.

I use to get calls all the time now you have children and it’s like I have to call to talk to you or understand where’s your mind at. put aside the money let’s talk about how are you raising your children. one thing I know is you better be taking good care of them no let me rephrase that. I know you are being the best mother that you could be. I have a school question when you add ing for continuous tense. but what about when you're saying being, how does that fit eternal life?

Going into heaven I know she wants to walk inside with me. I think when I leave this earth instead of my soul going up it will enter your body because you have Aaliyah with you. I think not I believe we will go together laying down and have this being rotating threw our body. trust me it will never stop until we return to earth. whoever had the status to turn the cross around and enter the dot. I shouldn’t have to give someone this position meaning this dot is put on my hand for a reason and the reason is you.

Having a 1-on-1 because you have helped me in this path that I’m taking. I want to complete your sentence and whatever’s on your mind I want to know. when we go out I want to open the doors for you and pull up your seat when we have our dinner. it’s the night of the nights that something should go down. dam I’m saying all of this and don’t know if this is true. why else would you help me get to this point? if so I will take the money and move on with my life.

I know you wanna be with me, this doesn’t bother me. I said respect me meaning your life is your life. when you show out the conversation that we had will end. I’m just saying this if you wish to hold a conversation with me. you have to play your cards the right way. you already know the answer to what I’m about to say. I will never tell you that because I have respect for you. the love that’s there will last if you let it. let’s get one thing straight I’m not here for that I’m more interested in your mind bringing that to the table.

                                                            CHAPTER 148

Using your brain because you went to school and learned so much. yes, you have the knowledge I need to get smart like you. when I’m thinking about you, you should be thinking about me shorty. how can I maintain my thoughts when you look so sexy to me? I can see myself climbing on top of you. if this doesn’t work I have to man up and enclose my feelings. you are supposed to be on my level. I want to see you clear-headed is what she said to me and I said I wouldn’t have it any other way.

You always tell your friends that I’m cheating on you but you have no evidence of that. the ladies that want to see our future be great I’m here for y’all. I'd focus on her the ones that keep me on the right path. seeing you just now felt great to me, am I going to be that lucky man that you choose to be in your life? can’t you see when our minds connect it’s the best thing in the world? I see y’all are growing into a grown woman meaning each one of y’all. I can’t breathe looking at you because your beauty is breathtaking.

I don’t want to go on without you and you know I mean all that’s here for me. I don’t want this to go up in an uproar. I know just as well as you are picking my brain I’m on you the same way is what she said. I said you can get whatever my brain is saying. let me tell you the most important thing is I’m loving you. please don’t tier down this life we have built together because it will be a big mistake feel me. she said if you do anything wrong to me I’m walking out and I said look at my children, they’re the love of my life.

If I had a picture of you trust me you will be posted on my wall. you show the definition of women. I know it’s hard on you love can hurt but the question be is it worth it yes it is. you can’t blame me it was either that or this. she said I rather this way and I said I didn’t think you wanted the other way. that’s our little joke undressing you for the first it’s going to be a breeze. you want me to show you that I can be this man that you need. I’m working on it trust me I’m trying with every being in my body.

I’m writing my heart out to create what is thought to my children's minds. being absent because of other reasons letting my children and wife know that I needed my wings. so I can fly just imagine Jesus not going to heaven. this is a place that had one last life and me accomplishing what I accomplish the dot lives on for eternity. the thought of separation from my family whether it’s in life or up above I’m here for y’all. the greatest gift the devil pulled was for people to think he didn’t exist in life. it’s not a myth.

So 12 got the video machine on the block who’s ever out there you have to fall back for a while because we don’t need you-know-what. please don’t be hard-headed because we know they are watching. people may not listen to what I have to say but this is the way to stay out of black justice feel me. we don’t need any free my guys we have to be smarter than that. it may start with little things like that and escalate to something big. I don’t need any of my guys doing time right now understand. so take the heat because it’s hot.

She said I must love her. I remember when shorty was trying to get me to take the train back to New York City with her. I said yes then I thought about it and didn’t go through with that. when I came back to New York City the bus pulled up in Atlanta someone that look like she got on the bus with me. at the end of the trip, she made her way to a seat that was right next to me. I remember vividly her asking me no I’m pulling out my book to make it look like I’m working and when I get back home things will change and guess what it did.

So as I just posted I just check and your picture just came up. it has been a while but it is better now than never. I know you did that because I just posted about 12 and again that’s you watching over me. even your body here on earth or your body up in heaven. I promise to show you that I’m willing to put aside our differences for the sake of our children. the way you show me is by actions and you seem to always do that. this is why I want you in my life. if this is the last thing on this earth I have to make it right by you.

When Aaliyah was here I wasn’t worried about a mother blanking thing because she made sure everything I needed she took care of. sometimes I wish she would’ve just let us be but I can’t cry over spilled milk. I just have to move on with my life but I know what I have to do. the only way to see you only if it’s called for it. I will continue with my life and keep it in God's hands. with Aaliyah letting him know that I’m hers. I know blessings will continue to come through for me. parting my back this is amazing.

How can you fear someone that has a dot on his hand? if the rainwater flood the streets but I got to watch the streets. the gun will go off feel me. my people telling me not to let things rush I have to take things slow. when you know you have someone to go home to. I hate all girls with material motives. this is why I stay to myself just to see things out because things can change before I let my daughter miss me. I’m fighting for her love and if you want to be her mother be lucky to me.

                                                            CHAPTER 149

This means my life was over when you walked out. I got so mad when you left I didn’t know what I was going to do. I got into things that I’m sorry for. I hope you can hear me physically. if you are here give me a sign to let me know. growing up in the streets I have learned a lot. the reason I’m not in the streets anymore is that you came inside of me. I know you are watching over me, baby. the last thing you told me was to handle yours and why I handle mine. I knew what that meant but I wasn’t ready for that conversation I accept it.

Let me tell you now if you want to cheat on me. I’m wondering if you changed when you gave birth because numbers add up. After all, you have this invisible dot on your hand. you should be proud of your sister because turning into this woman. trying to be a father figure to all of these kids someone that they can look up to. your body movement tells me that you want what’s yours. this company that I built wouldn’t be built without my family. some girl wants to do them but I don’t mind because I’m into other females.

If you don’t want a perfect love story. you will settle for the bad in a man but some females love men with the bad side of loving them. I want a female to respect my mind because I’m smart and if she has a business. she is working and I’m working but she may bump heads with other men before she gets to me. this is why I’m not the one to holla at her because I’m looking into my future. this is for those who can hear me working come second to my family. my family comes first and always will.

You walking past me showing me that you are feeling my vibes baby. is it time for me to come home? you can’t get upset if our plans don’t work out. I’m still running the streets. seeing you got me ready to undress you. your body got me ready roc. Do you look like you're about to diss me or are you ready for me to get in your sheets? the pain of losing you is a no-no. yes, this is the game I’m in for life. you keep me smiling I’m so proud to be the love of your life.

I want you to follow my lead baby I want to fly you all around the world and stamp your passport this is what I big man do for you. you are getting too comfortable and I’m telling you why are you going to change up on me? whatever happened in the past let’s leave it alone. when I was in the mood I never kissed or rub on her tits. this shit is hard I’m not throwing shade. I’m letting you know everything that went on in my life. my feelings weren’t in it only with one girl. thanks for thinking that I’m mature and not immature dub.

You have to show the females that played you what they will miss. I see you have changed your mind. I hope you can take the pain because this man is over you. you know what happens when you lose a good girl. she turns into a bad girl sleeping with different men. meanwhile, I have my eyes on these females that look like they see my vision. I can dig that all night you messed up and don’t think about coming back to me. this young man ain’t shit this is what she is saying goodbye to.

I’m trying to get back into your life but you are playing too many games. you know I got a new shorty she straight. I’m putting the time that I should’ve put in with you with her. I guess you know that I moved on. you need to stay here with your man. shorty bad as a mother blanker. this shit doesn’t make any sense. you see all of the things that we went through. I can see myself kissing your body and laying next to you. baby you better get your act together. this is why I keep my mouth close because females change men like clockwork.

The only thing you should be thinking about should be me. yeah, I’m holding my head keep me straight before things get out of control. dam I think this chick that I’m into might be playing me. how do I go about it finding out if she’s mine? I can see us riding throw states oh you want to stop and get something to eat? I’m finding out things that I didn’t know about you. how are you doing I see you are good with your fine ass. let’s say you did the opposite of being with me.

I have this feeling that waiting on you supposed to be Aaliyah only come once in a lifetime but it seems like she came twice in this lifetime. I knew she couldn’t see me by myself. so she made sure her life is felt in my life. what do you think I’m doing this for them other girls can wait until you are ready. I’m willing to wait until I go to heaven if need be trust me. you act just like her and you have shown your gangster so move closer to me. I remember what you told me when I came to your house and it was raining. where’s my umbrella I said right there.

Hope I have some Latin females that I see with y’all sexy asses. my company was put into place to help y’all. you know the name of my company is a Latin word right? I want y’all to know y’all came from us and don’t forget that. I’m taking care of all that you may want. the only thing I ask for is for you to respect me because I respect you. if we live by these rules we will be in a relationship that will not break up I know you want that. I spend money on you because you hold this man down yes we can play all night.

                                                              CHAPTER 150

Catch this fade with me being a gangster man. you lost me and this new girl found me and yes she takes care of me. what you know about going out with a man that has status. building a future with you. you know I’m trying to see if we can last forever and remain straight with one another. you want a man that will show you things that you never saw before. the way things are going yes I want to get next to you. you got me out here losing my mind because I can’t stop thinking about you.

What you should do is stand up for me but you keep letting me down. I’ll take that and deal with it. I’m letting you know never to try to come back to me. the way these other females are going to perform on me. you need me to take my time how can I with your sexy appearance? you should try someone knew this is what she is doing. how can I get mad when I know I’m one of a kind? you can seek another man like me but trust me, you will never find one that can compare to me.

Let's keep real the respect I have for you. you look so good to me. I see that you are a working woman. this man look for one that can take care of me. if I fall off you have to let me know if you got my back. we can travel wherever you want to go. looking into your eyes I can tell that you want me. earlier seeing you and you pass me by. you bet not cheat on me. this is the vow that we took when I became your boyfriend. so baby let’s look in the stars and feel what we can feel and see what we can see out there in space.

Accept for two girls I only had one night stand. one of them only got it twice the other one was like seven seas in 45 minutes. the first one was comfortable for me. I’m faithful and I wish everyone the best but I’m not going to see you if I don’t have to. you put me in a place where this shit is the get back. I know you want to come around but if not who cares. I hope y’all are the best without me. I’m not saying that I am a single man because I have other females that want this man to remain here with them.

Finding the right one to wife up with can be so hard at times but I’m working on a couple of shorties. I want to wipe your tears, I remember going to the bank and you were in there getting some money. when you were able to work you did let me know that you are willing to do it if it came down to it. as soon as I walked in to pay my bill by the time I finished paying my bill. the bank clerk made sure he gave you what you asked for. that’s how you get treated when you roll with me. there isn’t anything that you want that you can’t get feel me.

You mimic the game with what you see that goes on out there. you can’t pace yourself being under men that want that thing. you know I want to get back to you. I remember you telling me that I’m the one for you. how should I take this I mean what you were saying. what caption should I use smiley face or sad face? yeah, I know you move on but this man will find one that I can spend the rest of my life with. if that’s you show and tell. you covered things that you will never understand.

Your claims that she’s everything that you want. I’m head over heels for you. being a dime behind me the two of y’all. maybe you pass me the strap and get it. yeah, you played the game the way it’s supposed to go. what do you think I see when I see you? you are so much into me. yeah, I’m having that thought that you stepped out on me. thank you for coming to the park Latin with our children this is what I’m thinking to tell me if I’m wrong. I want to have you right now, you can’t make up your mind here let me make it up for you.

I know throwing money on you when you dance on me. I have this picture in my mind of all of y’all in one house with a dance floor. you dancing on me with panties and a bra on and I have my boxers on. can you feel what I feel yeah I know you do? I want to have my little strip club at my house. I know how this is going to go she wants me to throw hundreds on her and I’m saying no problem shorty. I can slide inside of you because with those clothes on. it’s easy to access feel me.

Coming to where she lived a day after Beyoncé gave birth to her first daughter. you got down on one knee and asked me to say yeah. my bad you said you are here for me. shotgun coming into the living room mother told me her name and I said hi. I’m sitting there taking out my hair to get it done. shotgun said she was going to the seafood place. I should’ve told her that I want something to eat but I didn’t. I feel the way you parted my hair. I remember when you moved up on me and put that cat on my neck.

How is the queen of this castle wearing sandals open toes at that with sweatpants on? that’s ghetto as he’ll remember I was coming from work and you were walking to the train station. the first time we talked on the phone. yes, I heard you when I passed your house and you said call now and I did just that. I’m not going to get into details because I already did earlier in one of my verses. you said a letter like Aaliyah said in a four-page letter and I sure did respect you telling me that Piru Mr. Freeze.

                                                                CHAPTER 151

If I tackle the whole team what will I end up with? let me guess because I need your mother to stay here. I remember me coming up one summer when I was out of town. your mother walked passed the block and I said hi and she turned around and said I know who she loves. I hope that is the same feeling she has for me. leading to showing our children that respect is important to you. doing things that are not ladylike will get you nowhere trust me. let them do what they’re going to do. you and I are different unless that’s what you want to do not.

Do you have my heart why else he will do 45 songs about you? you know that adds up to your sister's name. what more do I have to say about the connection that we have? I’m just saying if y’all want to move on. leave now so I can start over before it’s too late for you and me. I’m so caught unaware in this life that we have together. baby all I see is me making love to you. you should care about my feelings. the people that’s been in my life I will always love y’all trust me. I never want to leave my family because I love y’all.

Baby don’t change up on something so good to you. you might fall for a man that will take advantage of you. you should have a second opinion before you throw everything away. I have no more room especially when females doing their thing. you know it all will fall into place because I can get rid of some of them. I can save more money and they will be on their own. yeah, I think this is my plan no I know this is my plan. I wish you the best this life is for my children and I love what the women in my life do for me.

When you have this thing going on with women. Me, Myself, and I fall in love with you. what do you see that made you push that button? you look so wonderful if you need to talk I’m here because every woman thinks that men are all the same. this black man wants a family. I see you might think you are more intelligent than that. let me know if you want to take me back because nowadays other females play too many games. how will I see you before you go out with another man? I see things that you won’t see because my eyes are open.

J Stand For Jeremiah, Es Stand For Ellison, Us Stand For Usher, and the three of us were hung from the crosses. now we are back in this life and we need to stick together out here. I love and miss being with my brothers but trust me one day we will be together. I’m working on it I hope for the best for us. the way this life is going we need to pray for better days. I know things can get complicated for us but we need to keep pressing on. the streets don’t love anyone. so we have to keep in contact with who we are feel me.

She keeps calling my name when she has sex with me. she knows that I’m a big daddy Dymo you don’t holla at anyone. you better have a soft spot for this kid I mean man. you dress so fly let’s see that means you never had sex before am I right? if so I promise you are doing the right thing. there’s nothing wrong with that. let’s talk about this blood-shit yellow back meaning I want yours. you know what that means right? so what do you say and if so you need to have a blood drop soon.

You looking at me like I did something wrong no you did something wrong. love your life and I will live my life. just like there are other men there are other females. I don’t want to be a player anymore. I haven’t been a player for about 20 years. people may say why because I can’t be giving my goods to every female. this here is sacred and females can’t come inside of me. think about they’re doing any and everything with other men and you be kissing her and going down on her. you kissing what not me feel me.

Do you want to talk about how many females you got lined up for me? I need respect it’s mandatory. I can’t mess with a chick doing that shit that makes them look one way and that’s the way that men look at them like they want to stick that cat. if you can’t go by the rules you need to move on because this place isn’t for you. I’m telling you going down I never did that flesh in 36 years. maybe when I was like 12 years old. if I’m not mistaken I can’t pinpoint it. so understand if you want that you have to come correct or else nope change clothes.

Do you mind the closer I get to be with my family? this is why I’m maintaining my soul from looking at another shorty. I only think about the ones that have been in my life. when I had everything and lost everything and got it right back. you stayed with me so I promise to take care of you. anything my children need I’m here to give it to them. I’m just asking will you hit the block and get off all of these bricks? that’s about to come over here and if so thank you. just in case anything happens to me.

My fault I just woke up and it seems like you felt my slash because as soon as I woke up. you did something for me to notice you. as I was deep in thought my body was calling you baby. I can’t keep my mind from thinking about you. you know how the streets can get. this is why I need you to hold me down because females be tripping quickly. please don’t say something that your mouth can’t cash and if you are by yourself go ahead being single and have fun just not on my time.

                                                                CHAPTER 152

Saying what now protection right. what I don’t get is if I say it’s better here and you don’t listen move on. that’s where I’m at with y’all now and y’all know who I’m talking about. if you think the grass is greener on the other side be my guess. I had to control myself from the temptation and I did it if you can’t feel me get out. this is the shit that I’m talking about just in case. I just want y’all to know I have nothing else to say about that. I’m looking for a brighter future whether some of y’all are in it with me or not.

The way things are going I can’t get mad if you want to move on. a lot of females left me when they thought I fell off, and now look where I’m at now. this is the blessing I get from all of the females that stayed in my life. I’m here to live with you if I can wake up every morning with you next to me. trust me I will do you fix your face because if you living your life. that’s what I got out of that you know what. I’m not upset by any means go ahead with your life. I figured it out if I can’t see then things won’t hurt me. so let’s get out of our feelings.

Just things that come to my mind. if it’s true or not I’m going to keep writing. so you thought I was going to let this day go by without saying. this is your bday. I know you are thinking about how can we improve lives. staying together that’s one way trust the process and let life takes its course for you and me. you know there’s nothing more in this world I rather do than be there for you. your mother keeps saying when you had a toothache and I came to your house. the man that answered the door was your uncle and if it’s his child I’m glad.

Digital 10 if I sit here and say all the females that I’m supposed to be with. it has been 25 years since I slept with any of them shorty you were one year old. in New York City it has been 20 years and in all it has been 19 years. from 12 years old and I’m 36 years old right now and it has only been like 105 minutes, that’s 1 hour and 35 minutes right shit that’s nothing right. all clean here for the ones that are in my life now. I would never come to you used I’m new feel me and everything that I just wrote is true.

Sending your partner up here he likes to get dealt with. I want to know if this could be sharing the same birthday as me. are you okay writing booed up with you? I’m thinking about changing the whole scene up. I saw this man that looked like the person that was in your video now I’m saying how can that be? people shouldn’t have taken me for granted because you never know how much one can take. I’m so sick and tired of the bull shit. I use writing for therapy so I can release whatever I’m thinking about.

I just hope you are holding me down as I hold you down. I remember you calling me for a birthday cake and I told you I’m on my way downtown and you said okay when I got downtown I called you and you nor mommy answered the phone but I made it my business to pull up on you for your next birthday. ain’t you missing one when I say this and you say that this will be us coming together if this is so I’m grateful. that you choose me to be in your life. I want to see you sleeping next to me quite as kept.

So if you are having another child and both of your children is mine. if not you can deal with me writing this letter because you are looking at me like you wanted me to see you. I hope you weren’t showing me just to show me and it may mean nothing to me or do it. I’m only being different from other guys. am I one in a million because this is the way Aaliyah wanted me? I remember you walking across the street and I got up and have been writing from that day forward. I’m not trying to change up on you.

If you love someone let her go. if she doesn’t come back to you. she never was yours how can one be so sure about herself? I’m glad you are doing okay thanks to this relationship that we have together. a female will leave you if it doesn’t seem right. that’s why I need everything on the up and up with you. yes, you can leave but for what when I’m not doing anything wrong? I want to hear her say I’m never leaving you. we have to take our time and get to know one another and that’s exactly what we did.

Giving birth should be the happiest day of your life. I wanted to know if there are three baby girls and if you are the mother of all three of them. I want you to understand that I am here for the long run. Straightening this out was the best feeling in the world. I can’t help but know if you love me and seeing you today I know you are growing up into this woman. if there’s anything I can do I’m talking to your muck. there’s no question I have to be here for y’all. keeping my family tight I have received so many blessings.

I’m taking this to the head. you almost got me excited is that why you let me go first right. your body looks so sexy baby you are growing up beautifully. you look just like me and if this is so I’m happy to be your father. I see it now me passing you something to drink you probably don’t smoke. you adding up numbers to help her out. do you and don’t get discouraged about life because I’m here. I can’t wait to get inside of you. you are the queen and I’m faithful to my family.

                                                                CHAPTER 153

What do you think the dot means in sexy connection understanding me? people who have been faithful and faithful are what you want to be with me. you never want to know what your future means, and dedication to your heart will make you love your family. imagine me all over your body all night and in the morning you wake me up with breakfast cooked. I’m asking you do you want to go for round two and you telling me I’m not saying anything because you can handle me. I’m saying you think so let's see if that’s true.

Having this conversation with you tweety is something special. you are on my mind because you want to be on my mind. the way the show is going I’m going to keep this quiet as kept. the game that men run on a female. you can’t believe what men say because it can turn ugly and he might want to beat you up. I’m parting ways with anyone that thinks I’m not good for them. I need my kids to keep listening to me. this goes to my children's mother y’all have set a good example for our children and I’m here now to do the rest.

The start of something beautiful is what she told me. when we have a connection the conversation seems to be one that both of us want to talk about. she knows how hard it is to provide for her, and I’m doing my best to take care of you. the way things are going we mine as well do this together. trying to understand what you are going through right now and I know you can’t wait to come home. mother said that she was acting differently and said it was because you are having another child and I said that can’t be the reason.

What the blank is up if the connection hit me it better be a big load okay? I promise never to say anything. I guess when kiss said he will flow online. this is what I’m doing right now handling this business from afar. so make sure things get taken care of. when you are from the bottom you will grind until you get what you want. playing the game the way it’s supposed to be played. shorty choose the right person and now she’s straight. the business that I’m in is hard but as long as you have the structure you can do anything you put your mind to.

This is for my shorty that has given birth to my children and I see that you are having another one center is this the wish that I had. how can I be mad about females that did their thing? you just made my wish come true having one and then seeing you are glowing with one. if this isn’t so my fault for thinking it is mined but if it is I’m glad. I want to love you better I want to shower you with gifts by knowing that you can purchase things that you need. the connection is great from this point on you are my queen.

Just got the call that she’s home and everything’s okay. I know she feels so happy trust me I got this look on my face like God has blessed me with life breathing air into one soul. knowing that the slash is on another child. this is what I’m thankful for us growing together what is it that you are looking for? know more pain just relax and calm your nerves and be the mother of children that is ours. I will stop saying if not I have to man up. tell me what you need and she says just be here trust me there’s nowhere I will rather be.

Seeing is believing whether am I wrong for what I say or if am I telling the truth. if you know the truth and hold it in it will hurt you. he’s talking in doubles look in his eyes is what she said to me. all of this was done to me over money when I was younger and now that I stand here as a man. if one of your children had to deal with that. how would you feel let’s be real on that part. if you can’t feel my pain then this man means nothing to you. look how his own family can turn their back on him.

Some How Some Way, when I first came home your mother wanted me in your life. I can’t see you working because I’m not in the streets but if I have spit out this mother fucker. you just have to understand where I’m going with this. you have to listen to me. I just caught myself from saying you know what. this is the shit that I’m talking about people can’t understand the way life is sleeping with different men I can’t have that for my family are you prepared for life.

Yeah, I got that old thang back. so you better hold onto the man that loves you. if he takes care of you and you do some bull shit to him. he is not worried because if his money stops. you have to go out and take care of your business. best of luck with that if I see you. it’s hi and bye nothing more understand, it is so many females out here. females give it up with no problem, I like the one that makes me chase her, she knows exactly what she wants. I guess for now I will fall back.

Keeping her away from men that manhandle females. you only let her know what it is. this dot on my hand says it all for me. you have to sign on the dotted line. some females play games but playing with me gets you nowhere. you blocked me first for what I don’t know. I guess it's been over from that day forward I’m not looking back. I got some new females that are willing to give this young man a chance. so I promise to live up to your expectation. loving your body you can’t keep a good man down no thanks to you.

                                                              CHAPTER 154

She shows her true colors when things hit the fan. you are supposed to be there for me from day one. yeah I got some females on my mind, and I want to know who claims you. shorty got to play her role for me to respect her. you can’t pick one nowadays. everyone wants to go to parties but I’m home putting my company together. I know I’m going to face obstacles but I have to face them face first right? people can’t understand what putting this together meant for me. hard work and long nights and early days.

I’m just here for the game that she may play. you can’t believe any trick but the game that I ran. you are okay but how can you show me that you are different? I don’t need my shorty around other guys. if I get back on my shit I just have to throw a little game and I can plug any chick. the money doesn’t stop that’s the shit that I’m into right now. the bag I can’t take it with me but I can leave it to my next family meaning the generation. so the kids don’t have to hustle meaning selling drugs.

My shorty can’t eat any Books. teaching her to go to school to become smart education is important to understand. daddy is not in the streets and if I’m in it it’s only for a few hours. so stay blessed because I’m not going anywhere, Layla. I know your mother is proud of us. the first one that I lay down with can become her. if shorty, not her I’m on to the next one. I learned the game from the old-timers. some fell off and I know how this goes. you might have it when you are young but what about when you get older?

She is in labor right now as we speak. there are a lot of things going through my mind. the way she gave me the goal that men set of wanting a faithful female. they grow up is real and the glow-up is for real when I think of you. you make me wake up and think about you. I want to get next to you right now. my mind is thinking bad and good thoughts which one is it? you change me for the better with trust and belief. naming them both after names that I will understand that there’s a connection to me, you want me to show you there are better things in this world, not mine.

What you want from a man that has to grind from the beginning of time. Are you trying to be boo’d up with me? you have to watch these females they can have good intentions but intentionally will give you what you want. shit, I’m trying to wife you I’m talking about whoever is with me. the best part about this relationship is we never hurt one another. picture me in the future I’m going to ball but in time. I can’t wait until you show me that you love me back. I’m trying to get you in the bed rocking back and forth.

A female will never change and if she does it’s because she found a man. that's willing to show her new things. yes, I have a soft spot in my heart. I remember when she said ever sin but that was back then. I’m moving with shorty that’s holding me up and when I’m down. she sticks by my side. dates back to when I first got my daughter's picture on 10/7/17. 9 months are approaching and you're about drop a baby girl. if this isn’t truly mine. I have to stand, I remember your uncle makes things easy at the dice game and cuts nice following the phone call, but not mine.

What do friends mean it can mean you do your thing. like friends with benefits, I’m not looking for that. I got too much paper to be playing with different females because if I get stuck on child support plus I have a little girl by Aaliyah. how can I disrespect her that will never happen. so looking for a lot of friends that are only with me, not friends that are giving it up to the first man that you talk to. should I fall asleep right now I remember when I said I have to look my child in the eyes and let her know that everything’s okay.

So, baby, you make up the days. I spent doing you dirty but I’m here to say sorry and I’m asking from my heart do you forgive me. the makeup is real but for real I’m not getting out of my bag. so know this the money will keep coming in until the day I die. who you know shotgun you think too much she’s on her way connecting with you. all of this adds up to dates. this is why I believe y’all. you made me into the man that I am today. people say for every door closed in your face a better door opens up. so I have to move on proud of myself.

When you are upset with the way life is going. You as a person have to change your way of thinking. it’s not always about winning or losing. it’s about the fight you gave nowadays people don’t want to own up to what they have done. so people hide behind other people. the way I see things other people might not see but I do. taking food off of my plate means my kids can’t eat and I have to feed my children. the thought of my children not knowing where their next meal is coming from is hard for me to digest.

You have the freedom to be who you want to be right? so choose wisely who you want to be and make that into who you are now. showing strength in any situation makes you the man you are today. please don’t let anyone shame you for being a man. people with no guidance do any and everything no matter the price they will have to pay. I’m glad I learned to follow what I think is right out here. you have grownups telling these young kids it’s alright to kill and carry weapons on them.

                                                              CHAPTER 155

When you have this feeling in your mind. you may ask how you feel mind having good thoughts. it will make your whole body feel a certain way. I’m trying to keep that feeling that you give me if my heart shall break it’s because of you going out. what if I decided to go out and be in all of these females' faces? she said let’s not go there and I said why not. I think this is the right time to talk about it. she said not now I said when will be the right time and she responded never.

We are going into both of y’all months. I’m wondering what date is your due date but I guess I have to sit back and wait until I get that phone call. you thought I couldn’t do nine months but I did. the reason I’m doing this is that Aaliyah is supposed to be inside of you or is she not. she responded you know she is here and I said thank you. you made it here with me and we are proud of you. what are y’all waiting on time is passing y’all by? you mean all should think about doing it now or forever hold your peace.

Look how far we have come. my body is connected to my head and my head is a temple. I’m ready for her to drop if all three of us live in the water. this shit is driving me crazy, I've been looking for you all day. seeing you walking up the block with your little man and me wondering if he’s mine. I’m glad y’all gave me a chance to make this work. I’m so into you my blood pressure is building. you know people say one hand washes the other. I know people doubted me but I have gained the world and I’m not looking back for anything.

Who’s going to love you more than me nobody? I see all that has been taken care of and I’m happy y’all are happy. there’s nothing more I want than to see you win. building this with you oh my God my mind stays running even when I try to sleep my mind keeps running wanting to work. work is something that I signed up for. you better watch your mouth before you say something that can help our relationship out. tell me what you want to do to me. if I may say so you are a wonderful woman.

Believe me, when I say I want to be home with you. every day seems like a fight between me and you coming together. you want me to see things your way, and trust me I’m listening and seeing what you are telling me. I’m trying to be this man that you want. I understand ways do change but if we change with it. the only thing that comes from doing good is a beautiful life. I want to be home with y’all. this is why I come home early because I have a home to go home to before you leave me. I want you to know that I need you.

You have to follow your heart all the time. when emotions are a part of your life you can think differently. I had to wipe the tears right from my eyes. if you are thinking about what I said in that post. I just want you to know I’m faithful and I never wanted to part from you. look at what we are doing now. I’m proud of everyone that stuck by my side because when the road got rough. you were there for me and I genuinely appreciate that from my heart. let know female take me from my family.

If time is of the essence what do we get for being in time with essence? yo walking with you in the park at the place where everyone wants her. I remember playing in the snow making angels in it with Aaliyah. we both had on red bubble coats. we had the same outfit on mine was the boy kind and yours was the girl kind. after playing for hours throwing snowballs at one another. people may say I’m bugging but if it’s not true why my middle name is Elijah and her name is Aaliyah?

What more do you want from me? that’s what I asked her and she said give me whatever it is you have hidden in your mind. I said what about what’s in my heart, she said you have to express what’s in your heart, and then the mind will follow. I said you know me so well. I see you pushing them big whips I'm glad you riding big. I never want to take this from you. you have everything you want. it’s my pleasure to have you riding right and jewelry sitting well and your body. yes, you have glitz and glamor I’m proud.

What you should do from now on, when you get a 3rd done start re-up so people do not have to ask if are you restocking items. the same way you push me is the same way I’m pushing you trust me. this business that we have the only thing I can say is I’m proud of all of us. this shit doesn’t come easy but as long as our head is in this business that we run. I know everything’s okay on y’all part but we have to pick this shit up so much more. so we don’t have to worry about the future.

I’m diggin’ on you. So you have reached this day and I’m sure that you can drop by any day now. If I went to a cookout. You would be on the other side of the park looking at me looking at you. Yeah, you are the finest thing I ever saw. Can you tell me what song this is from? I want to come and light fireworks for children that are mine. I know you won’t put me in that kind of predicament. You are here on earth taking care of our children. I’m so glad I came home to y’all healthy because if I wasn’t. I’m sure I will be hurt right now but I’m not.

                                                            CHAPTER 156

It ain’t about if I should trust you. I need to trust you because yes I want to start here. If this doesn't work where do I start? I’m not going to start until I open my company and see Layla if you don’t start this. This will be another child you are having and I can’t help but wonder if she is mine. You always make sure I’m not in the streets. I’m comfortable with you being in the house for days. You know how one can trust what was back in the day. I asked not to but some still do. So let’s play this out because starting here is all I want to do.

Having the both of y’all. Trust me you tremendously helped me. I know when you want to give me inspiration and insight on what you want me to write. So here it is I’m so in love with my family. I never want to mess up again and I’m saying that in the most sincere way. I’m glad y’all stuck by my side and look at the outcome of our journey. I have been here for all of y’all life and I never let y’all down. At this time I never want to move on. I remember what you told me about life.

Are you into what I am doing? before I let you get away from me. I promise to show you things that a man can show you. As long as you know what I am trying to do to you. You want me to make it up to you. This day I’m pleasing you tonight. The only way inside of you and that there I’m willing to go in. What are you trying to show me? this is the shit that I’m talking about can you control me. You say one thing and mean another thing. So how do I figure you out and what are the stages? I have to take it.

Seeing you today and I mean your sexy self made young lady turned into a young woman. Tell me why I’m getting excited about seeing you. Yes, I was and will continue to get excited about you. That’s the little man you were pushing or am I out of my mind? Am I out of your league is what she asked me and I responded no? I can’t wait until I get you naked because that body looks so sexy. I need to see you some more. You are my girl and I will continue to do good by you. What do you say about making love to me?

Every time I get this feeling that you are looking for me. I come to see you. I can’t wait until I get all of y’all in one space because I want that. How can you look the way you look walking to me? I want to grind on you for a minute baby. The calling me you caught me before I was leaving. You picked up and came to see me. Let’s not let that go over your head. If she decides to go down on me. I will go down on her too. How are you living your life? It better be in my life. This life that we have I can’t see it being with someone else.

Speak when spoken to. When you say you love me that makes sense to me. When I say I love you I mean it. Everything should make sense to us. You have to fill me up with your emotions. Baby, can I get off of my knees? You have me going down, why are you rubbing your hands through my hair? This cat smells so good I can’t keep myself from that place that only I’m supposed to be going inside of. You want to change up the reason we are not having sex right now is that I want to imagine myself inside of you until that day comes.

God put people in your life to see how much you are willing to take care of them. Yes, intentionally we may bump heads. I wasn’t trying to be the boss but if I’m working harder than everyone let it be. Nobody said anything when you know who gave you that position. People were happy right so why not be happy for me? You hit it right on the spot about what I just heard. Am I speaking in codes because people that know what went on in the world refuse to say anything? People from the hill lost people and people acting like it's alright streets are done.

In this game, you have to follow the rules or someone will do something to you. You never know who wants to get you out of the way because you are getting too much money. Watching my back is a must out here. Move the way you are supposed to move feel me. People make their own rules. People can get locked up and tell and come home. People will still hang with them. Once a teller always understands, people get the game messed up and I’m talking about whoever fits in that category. If the shoe fits, wear it.

You want to run up a check. you can’t run it up if I don’t pay for it. you called it money in these streets. it depends on where you hustle at. you make one wrong move and it’s over before she sees me sweat. I have to go out of my way to provide for you. this shit doesn’t make any sense. you think this going to last forever says Eli. when you have a female like that saying your name means you got the shit lockdown. when that shit happens and ace got that money. I was in queens with Nas getting drug money. that’s how he got it.

You have my heart so treat it the way you want your heart to be treated. this world I can’t imagine life without you. I know you are having a baby. but I can’t help to ask is mine both of them are. the other day I came to see mother and she told me. that she has to wipe the table down. I know that came from what I posted. how much love I’ll show you. you show me back baby because you mean the world. yes, I want you to get off of the steps and walk into my bedroom and make love to me.

                                                             CHAPTER 157

The time we have put into this relationship should mean something and should last forever right? you shouldn’t let anyone inside my bed. remember I have to go inside of Aaliyah and I can’t go inside of another female that had someone inside of them before. I’m trying my best not to slash anyone that had sex before. if you never had sex before then we can talk and hang out. I’m trying to keep myself clean because I have to go to Heaven and see my baby. trust me I can’t let her down.

The reason I ask you not to be in clubs, where there is another guy is that I’m not in clubs with other females. I ask for respect please don’t do things behind my back. I’m not having any of that, you are supposed to be my woman. I mean others willing to take your place. please don’t think I’m sleeping with anyone. it doesn’t matter you can’t bring anyone in. the only way they have to have a clean life is because I can’t afford it. so get that off of your mind. you coming clean so bring clean females.

You seem to have your eyes on me. baby tell me what you want to do to me. we've been dating for some time now. so we should be doing grownup things and that’s me undressing you. you look so good to me. I want you right now baby get your fine ass over here. this the shit I’m talking about the way you walk in that sundress. moving their hips side to the side got me ready to do you right now. wherever I can get it trust me I’m with it. she said this is the freaky side of me. I said let’s go to my home so we can get in my bed.

Baby, can you let me know if you are for me or someone else? you keep telling me I’m the only one for you but I don’t think so. my mind has thoughts and this makes me so ashamed because she could be sleeping with someone else. how can I keep my mind on this maybe I need to move on and find the love of my life. I know you won’t care because you are doing your thing. there are so many other females out here. you want me to go by your rules but the question should be are you going by my rules?

Show her things that she’s not custom to before I leave. I have to find you in that place you were in when you use to love me. how can I find that woman whose life was better for me? you know I will never put my hands on you. shit, we never fought or got loud with one another before. why would you want to get in a relationship that may end up like that? the man might beat on you and call you all types of names. you are going to do what you want to do. just hear me out before it’s too late because you don’t need that in your life.

You have changed me for the better, now that I think like a man and not a little boy. you should love those who love you. so many females give the man that’s not right for them. the chance to be in their life, maybe I need to not give blank about a female. then maybe she would want to be with me. if I treat her with respect she says I’m too nice but if I give her my ass to kiss. she loves that shit but I’m leaving her alone because that’s not the man I am. one that gives their goods to anyone labels her as a female they give it up to anyone.

You say you will make me happy but I can’t tell because you are with your girls hanging out. doing lord knows what she acts like it’s me but I know it’s her all along. bad things keep running through our minds. I know I can’t trust you because of your past. this is what she said to me but you want to spend all of my money, you see dollar signs when you are with me. how much am I supposed to take from you, you call yourself a queen. so you can’t be acting like a thot, I’m a king and this is the way I act 24/7.

For all of the ladies, that’s been here for me. I truly appreciate your man love and the way you take care of me, you know I’m telling you all of this to get next to you. so we can lie down in bed. Do you think we’re going to make it up the stairs? I’m going back in time, you called me at 2 or 3 in the morning. you did that so I can have your phone number. I text you the day after that. you kept asking me who is this and I kept saying is this my girlfriend? yes, I was trying to keep myself anonymous. all along you knew exactly who you were talking to.

You want to upset me. I have to ask are you doing things to make me unhappy? you are always pulling my arm. what about those cuts I keep thinking about it are you over it because I’m not and if friends were your friends? they would’ve been here for me. please don’t have me talking about this and you're on some other shit. I dedicate my life to making yours great. what about coming down south and pouring hundreds of thousands on the table? your daughter said that alright, she’s on point.

How did I get myself into this with you? you need to cover me as I cover you. this shit is hard by far not easy. you need to tell me what you want out of this relationship. I’m trying to get you naked and in my bed. you are the love of my life. so act like it and hold your head high. I can see you me walking down this path always. you say something and mean something else. you should take your time with me. so I can appreciate you tonight. you look so good to me. yes, I want this life with you.

                                                                CHAPTER 158

Do you think this young man wants to be a playboy? you know I want all of y’all two at a time in my bed. I had it one time in my life and that was when I lived in convent. you know who I’m talking to right? I’m sorry I had to leave but someone else called me. so I had to go and put her to bed, both y’all were grown and the person that called me was as young as me. you changed my whole life. so don’t get mad at me for what happened, the goal I’m with, is you should always believe me and what I say.

I want to lay up with you right now, you seem to have a chip on your shoulders. is that the bad or the good side of you? this can be Jesus or the Devil. please listen to the one on the good side. you know how I feel about you. times have been long but if we don’t cheat on one another. I’m so into you and the way you treat me. I can't exactly say I’m lost in your body. that’s when you let me inside of you. I hope you don’t change up on me before we get into that I want to make everything right as I look at you and see the world.

I’m deep in my feelings. you ought to show the good side of yourself or should I say the great side of you. I’m making a call to all of y’all stay here. I’m working hard for you because you should love the way I move up on you. the last time we talked been so far behind us. how can I say this is over when we just started this life that we have. the past shouldn’t determine who I am today. the thought of me walking out again. you keep saying it’s my fault but you had something to do with it. what I am supposed to do without you.

You are so secretive about your life. you need to yell at the top of your lungs. get it off of your chest before you can’t take it all in. tell me how you feel when I’m not there with you. who are you holding close to you or am I losing you? if I weigh it on my Libra scale. you see me working to better our life. so our surroundings will be better for us when that day comes when we lay down. I can’t get you out of my mind. how will I know if you are ready for me, baby doesn’t lie to me because I always told you the truth.

When do you speak you speak in words that I can understand alright? I will never listen to you if you are crying to me. I can see tears in your eyes. I want to bypass that situation. do you want to jump-start my mind? I didn’t want that to happen, I could’ve slapped that hitch. I do not want to keep anything from you. I want everything to be on the up and up. I was only 14 years old. so please don’t get mad. people say I have a hot head but I’m keeping myself cool. Do you better not touch anyone got me? I’m calling shotgun riding with me.

I just want to bless you with my heart. baby girl the calls and now I’m asking to speak to her. mother told me that you are upstairs. you should be relaxing because your due date is coming. why tell me things like this oh but this time I called and she told me this. when my mind is fucked up because I don’t know if children are mine. thanks for the blessings you have gifted me with. not for nothing you gave me that. so I will accept it and move on if need be but why should I move on if you are telling me everything is okay?

You make me want to give up on you. the way the beat comes in on this track. you are a tacky little chicken head. in the waterfall. you said you have to make it up to me. yeah, my stepping out was your fault. the question should be how am I going to forgive you? you want to pop this bottle with me, by the way. I do not smoke, so you have to smoke that by yourself. please don’t be acting shady with me. you, on the other hand, bet not disrespect me and you know what I am talking about right, this should be privacy for us.

Taking you to that next level. I can’t have sex with a female that let another man run in her. this here is for the ones that wish my luck. when I was down and out. so keep listening to me because I’m patient. yeah, I’m sick of your stuff. my mind can get crazy loose and full of passion. you need to get your sexy ass over here before I self-destruct inside of you. how can we count to 26 without using me on top of you? you see what I see then let me whisper something in your ear.

Yeah, this Harlem shit got a young man looking like anything can happen. you know it's on sight because Jay z just hit me and Beyonce. my birthday is 317. They got a name of a song on their album called 713. At the end of one of their songs. they said verse if you wondered what she was talking about. if you don't know the connection is there feel me. you live to hustle and get money while you are here. you should always understand the rules of the game. if you are going to play them. thank you for the album great piece of work.

You know this shit is popping when you have people that say you handle your business. my shorty wants everything that I can give her. she doesn’t know what cheap shit is. you are better off spending all of this money. you have cars and everything is paid for. I see you wearing a chain what about that chain I brought you? you need to pass that down if you still have it. you need to watch your mouth. you talking about you well oh I know because you have me by your side. the only thing you have to do is count the money up.

                                                                CHAPTER 159

I know today is the day that you tell me I’m good with y’all letting me continue to write. as long as you are holding me down. pictures can say 1000 Words. I know that you called me at the a.m. I’m happy that I receive a phone call from you. you should always keep me next to you just in case things turn out differently. knowingly you letting me see her a day before makes me feel good. my guess is you know what you are doing. so let’s keep this up and I will continue to receive the blessings that you give me.

The moral of the story taking responsibility for whoever’s in my life. you want to go out dancing yeah you ain’t leaving me. so beware that you are mine. you can bring your friends because I like knocking off friends. Does everyone welcome you got me? I’m a straight savage you think you are a gangster prove it. I got people that are willing to catch bodies for me. I have to clear up my credit because it’s money in it. if your credit is excellent you can get anything you want. this is why I have people that invest in me.

I want a female that can throw it back. you know what I want a female that can run this business. it’s a lot of money in this game. you have to be willing to get with me. using my name you letting me know something like you want this. you know I’m just playing unless it’s true. I have bad hitches that get their own money. they can buy anything they want with my money plus hers. there’s nothing we can’t do. things that Aaliyah used to do for me like always running with me when we had to exchange drugs for money.

Trying to close this before the night end. the girls in the ghost always show love. you can't afford this is what she said. I said shorty I have money and I can put you in a place. where you can have millions or billions or trillions in your bank account. please call this a trick if you have baby mothers you do it for them. she called to tell me she has 3 weeks to go. you are aiming for the beginning of next month. at least you are playing in that month and you are closer to a shotgun. I know what you think when you are ready go for it.

What you see is what you get trust me. I will never change the people that help me get to where I am today. we all can eat off of this plate that I made. it's a big enough plate. as you can see money doesn't make me I make the money. this is what y'all get wrong. yes, you can ball out until I put it on you when that time comes you’ll see why you waited so long. I just hope that cat is worth it. she stays acting like she's ready but is not. you better put on for the city is what she told me and I said don't worry I will.

Having faith is what she keeps telling me and I am saying I do but my head hurt from writing so many songs. I need some sleep but she said if we sleep she knows we will be weak. so I have to listen to her because she knows what is best. every day since you have been growing a child inside of you. I have been writing verses Beyonce said you are doing fine is that true she asked. well yeah in some sort of way because the pressure stays on me. so I have to continue to make hits. my mind keeps storing information.  

She always fronting in front of her friends. I'm telling you this now shorty looking at me. what you want to ride with me. you just make sure I don't see something that will turn me off. she is shaped like a candy bar. I know it isn't good for me. young chick makes this grown man change him on her. she will be older before anything happens. she has to do more growing up and I'm here for it. clubs you can't be at got me or else you will never date me. I need everything clean feel me so take care of that.

This was by far the hardest 8 months and 6 days but trust me it was well worth it. when you want to accomplish something you have to put your mind to it, and for it to happen I'm glad you believed in me. I want to say thanks to God for allowing me to have these blessings. yeah, she thinks she is one of a kind but so easy you can be replaced. oh, you think I'm playing do it looks like I have a joke look on my face if I'm playing try me and see what happens. she said now you just talking out of your ask me.

It seems like we are going in the right direction, after all, it has been a long time since I been in your life but I'm here now. so what are we going to do? I know buying you clothes and cars and houses won't win the heart of women. see women look for validation. she looks for a partner one with that she can spend the rest of her life. if you’re not that man that wants a woman like that. I'm quite sure she feels the same way as me. the part when you say you love me how can I be so sure of that when you never showed me that you care for me?

So we have come to the number 4 leaf clover and it feels so good to be here. you should be proud of yourself because you stuck with what you wanted. this is the way you are supposed to think. you are supposed to block every distraction out. you shouldn't prevent yourself from accomplishing your goals. you live and you learn you have to make mistakes to learn from them. the way I see it you have one choice you go to the top or you stay at the bottom. everything I did was for my family. 

                                                              CHAPTER 160

People might look at me and say I lost my best friend. but the way I see it she came inside to protect me from the evil of death. I just want to live for her and do what she wants me to do. being all in my feelings because I might not ever find someone like her. who can I trust out here if you say trust you how can I. when you are playing two sides? you did what you needed for you to be okay or was you doing all of this for me to get next to you? I want to know which one is it. I can't take this anymore so tell me the truth.

When you outburst when shit gets popping. you make all kinds of moves, and you first have to know who you are beefing with. I never gave up when I had nothing feel me. I made things understood with the kind of person I am, the streets don’t change people just change. so you have to know what you are getting into before it gets deep. the way things are going you have to hold your head out here. people gamble with their lives every day of their life. so why wouldn’t I protect mine?

So mother called me today telling me she's coming back home tonight. she said she will call me when she touches down and let me speak to you know who and she said I can also see her tomorrow. I guess what I asked in the previous post you are telling me it's a go right? I don't want to step on anyone's toes because I wouldn't want someone stepping on my feet. I'm expressing the what if it's better safe than sorry better late than never right? I'm keeping this here in my prayers because I want this to be true.

Follow the rules of the game. that people don't follow anymore. it's like people are telling 12 what this young man is doing out here. you're supposed to have shit lockdown. yeah, this shit can get crazy because you never know when 12 coming to stop you. if I have to go to black justice trust me I'll do my time. shit you know it's in my blood. that's the code of the streets. nowadays the codes people aren't hearing what I am saying. the game is over it are only a few people that still live by those rules.

People hustle to make a come-up in this world. I can't understand how people hustle and never come up. you can't be out here hustling for fun. a person like me needs that money because my children depend on me to put food on the table and a roof over their heads and clothes and their back and their bank account full. who thinks I'm not going all out for them I'll be damn feel me if people take money out of my pocket my children won't eat and I can't have that right. so continue to grind and watch 12 and people that's talking to them.

When you trying to climb levels and push things to the max. you will always try hard to accomplish the goals that you set. are you sure that she is mine because I can't be having different thoughts? I'm still getting calls for things that you may need. this money shit asking me I mean that it isn't about the paper right. you just want help from me because it's in your heart that I think children may be mine but I'm looking at your uncle could that be his child or am I bugging out? everything adds up so continue to give me information.

Are you just going to take your sweet time right? if it was my way of seeing is believing trust me if you can’t have it one way you sure can have it another way. this shit doesn’t end unless you change your mind about where we need to be. fighting to have you in my life. this shit here is hard on me because what am I supposed to think about what has taken place in this life. when I see things and hear things. am I supposed to take heat from it? you never know what’s hiding in her because it can be right or wrong.

Okay so now you show and tell what I’m supposed to be doing. let me address this right now you think you run this but it’s the other way around. you are the one I show the most respect for and you know this. so I have just seen her excuse me for writing everything down. that goes on in my life if I don’t how will I keep track of it? you have to keep this up until we see one another got me. you show your true color when you are by yourself but when you are with others. you show something different from when you are with me.

So what if she wants to change because she's getting tired of the same man in her life? what if he's getting tired of the same women in his life? you rather give up on something so promising for something that may only last for a month or two. something that means nothing but sex. I think not because if I have a queen I have to treat her like one. I can never forsake her because she's the only one that gives me the strength to work every single day. why change when I'm winning with who I am with? some people just want something different but not me.

People have to be humble if they want to make it in this business because you can get hit up. if you talk too much about how powerful you are. you should keep it on the low because that will make 12 make you a target out here. people that talk like they the shit are usually the ones that need people to back them. as for me I move alone so people can't tell 12 what I did or if I'm doing something wrong that can lead to me going to black justice. so I have to remain strong out here or take a loss but for now, I'm winning.

                                                               CHAPTER 161

You always tell me that I’m not the right one for you but now the money is up. you want to be by my side I think not. if you weren’t with me from the beginning. you can’t be with me now. the only way to show you that I care is by me giving you my all. you shouldn’t press me because I will fall back and find someone else Nah I’m just playing. let’s get this paper and make sure you follow the setup that I have. I cannot lack because people depend on me. so while I’m here I’m getting things done.

You show all of your goods to people that do not deserve to see them. go head player play on meanwhile I'm in it for the long run. how can you help me build more for us? this is why I put you in school so you can be smart out here. my business mind and your school smarts there's no telling how far we can go. common sense is called for believe me miss you can have what you want just stick with me and you will find out why I did this. this is truth or dare or consequence or repeat.

So we were here fighting in our minds about if I write you will let me see you. how come it has to be tit for tat. you sure look like you are a grownup to me but you like playing little kid games. I guess that is what keeps us young. I'm ready to grow up and be the man that you need. that's what I was saying when I was young and now that I have stepped up to the plate. there's know better feeling in the world trust me. I want you to feel me on this. my family means everything to me and you know this woman.

I'm trying to put things together so we can help one another out. like this clothing company that will be owned by us. if you will do me a favor by modeling my clothes. I promise when it's time it will happen for us. I want y'all to run this just as much as me. if you listen to what I say I will be with you and I'm grateful you have listened to me. if you haven't listened to me I will never be with you because this family is for us. I do not work this hard to lose you to the streets. I have to look at you and you have to look at me.

Y'all have to pay attention to what's going on in this lifetime. you can have it all one day and then lose it the next day because God works like that. when you help people out good things can happen to you. it may not happen right away but it will so be patient okay? you can't be out here changing bodies and bodies with other females. you have to stay to who you know. Jesus died at 33 and the 16th was Aaliyah's birthday and the 17th was my birthday. so who's holding one in the chamber me that's who. I'm not using this for evil but for good, P's, and Q's.

When you want this home to work but it can get out of hand. we have to see and hear one another out if we want this to work. you build a home with love and respect and peace of mind. yes, I want to wake up with you next to me every day of my life. I want all of y'all in one home so I can be like a kid in a candy shop. I can pick who I want to sleep with and I can sleep with a different female for months at a time. the first one that I sleep with won't sleep with me for another 4 or 5 months because this is how many different females I have in my life.

I want to dive deep into your Red Sea. when I parted the sea that was me opening up me being a person that hasn't had sex since I was born all over again. that is how I cleanse my body so you wouldn't have to ask that question where I have been and who I have been with. trust me it's nothing and isn't this enough evidence to tell you that I'm a faithful man? you can't go back on the conversation we had. when you moved down south didn't me and Aaliyah come to see you to make sure everything's okay with you?

The more I let this feeling I have out. the more I feel alive and in the present time. I'm pouring out my love to you, this is our world together for life. baby, you make my day go smoothly trust me. I'm overwhelmed because you always show me that you care for me. I'm trying to put this back together but I'm still young. we have our whole life ahead of us. I want to work for you so when we get older we will have. I'm so into you because you have shown me that you are that woman that I need baby show me the key to your heart.

People saying something about a picture. when you can't find love anywhere nowadays. you should be happy yes he stepped out of his comfort zone because his wife, not his girlfriend but his wife asked him to do this for her. tell me if you have a wife and she wants a simple pic with you like that. better than her doing the most because it can get worse. that's the problem as men we do not know how to do things that the wife wants us to do. look at me writing love songs because this is how my wife makes me feel.

When you live that life of being a drug dealer. I need that girl over here what are y'all waiting on, this shit does not stop we have to keep this up. yeah, I know that we are halfway through that 400 billion that cocaine brings in a year. am I just writing this or am I living it? you will never know but if the connect ship that over here. you will know for yourself. that I'm not playing my kids got to eat. let's say I get caught I'm going to the hospital to do my time. the way this young man set it up. I'm only expressing what if. 

                                                                 CHAPTER 162

Look there's no place I will rather be than with you. I see you are working and I know you see me working. putting our minds together we will run this world trust me. I will be there for you. unless you want this to end I will go my way. why would you want someone to have what you helped build? this is like giving your company to someone that just says give it to me. you are supposed to love what you do because I love what you do. by the grace of God, we will have everything that we want and we will go wherever our minds take us. 

Yes seeing you so happy makes me glad, the way you carry yourself. you're not in the streets doing whatever it is to get by. you waited on me to get right and I know you didn't mind. the little bit of money that I gave you was enough for you. you took that and were happy and me doing it was from the heart and now you have everything that you want for it's yours. this is what you get for waiting on me to get right. the streets don't love anyone but this is a better place to be than out there with all of that bull shit.

How can one man hold the key to so many females' hearts? this is why cause you first show them that you love them. if you be faithful to one and they see that then all of them will be with you. just in case you can’t see I should’ve walked down the block. both of y’all look so sweet I mean sexy as hell. when it hails that means cold pebbles of ice. you should understand the rain because this is what I control. people use to say when it rains that means Jesus is crying is that true?

Watch us reach higher standards. you decide for me if I’m worth being in your life. yeah, I’m watching you watching me. the way people part from their relationship. you told her you would give her the world. you gave her a child by now she’s looking for love. No is the same day and same month probably the same year. where did it go if this person told us mess with them and then when it happened that person got mad? that’s the only reason you did what you did to get back at me right?

When you were seeing her and she mushes you in the head. relaying a message that dmx said in Aaliyah's song I miss you. this should be evidence that she loves you and respect what you did for her since you always let me know what it is I’m glad for you being in my life. you should know parts of her life that no one knew, straight understanding that you needed help. I hope you didn’t think I was going to use money and say if you don’t put out I’m not giving you anything. that right there is someone that I would never be.

Y’all think there’s somewhere I will rather be. the answer is no I’m comfortable where I’m at. growing with you, and yes mother called me last night. telling me the good bad, and ugly and I know what that means. I want to hold you close to me because if I fall off. I know you will be there for me, so why would I disappoint you. for the sake of our children I want more for us. I want to stay right here. if this is the first and last thing I do I want to make you happy. you have my heart so let’s stay together forever.

Trying to find out what she likes is hard and it takes a lot of time. if we work together we can accomplish anything that we put our minds to. before you say anything just think about it. you may not understand what I was working on when I first started but now you see the light and it’s brighter than ever. your love makes me the man I am because I value your time with me. will this relationship go up or down before you say yes or no believe me when I say I’m here for you honey?

I saw someone in you when I first saw you. I’m wondering if you can fulfill her shoes but if she chooses you to be her or should I say this is who you are? you know what happened to me the other day. I’m standing waiting on transportation and I see this beautiful young lady that I think the world of. I hope you love me the same because I’m fighting to make this work. I’m fighting and I want to know if you are fighting with me. I’m here now and I promise I will never walk out of y’all life.

When these thoughts run through my mind. I always seem to think about you, when was the last time you made love to me? I know it’s been a while but if we pray, it will come to us so don’t worry. I want to give you everything that you want. you have my soul body and head. this is what she said to me and I responded by saying your love is one of a kind. I support my children 100 percent I want y’all to understand that. I know I was young when I had y’all but I didn’t give up. this is why my dot rotates inside of your body.

I see so many cute females when I’m not looking but y’all can get it. this is the plan can you wait on me or should I be saying I’m waiting on y’all? I need one night to prove that this was the right choice that you made. I’m so happy that you are in my life. this is just the beginning we have so much more to go trust me. you are a split image of me. I’m wondering if y’all want to go back to our heaven because we don’t share the same heaven as everyone. you know that by the dot being in my hand. I’m telling you this is where Jesus lives.

                                                              CHAPTER 163

You are so lovely to me. this is what I’ve been waiting for someone like you to come into my life. you gave me the passion to write again. you sure are a blessing. when I was out of town I did nothing wrong feel me, therefore you, believe me, there weren’t other women that I looked at. so when you see me you see a man that was faithful to you. I brought my love home because I would be lost right now if I didn’t. you complete me did you know that this is the element of surprise?

Playing that song keeps me thinking you were with someone else who would it be? this is just an inside joke between you and me. I hope you find the humor in what I just said because I can’t stop laughing over here. you played that song as you cooked I mean for me. what if you are cooking for someone else now? you did things for you and not for us. when are you going to mean when you are wrong or is everything on the up and up because if it’s on the down bottom? I have to fix this heart and trust me if Aaliyah isn’t there I can move on right away.

In the case of what I said. what y’all would’ve taken that to y’all grave right. got me thinking I was the only one doing something. y’all moved first right so I don’t have to explain anything to y’all. I’m wondering was y’all dancing there. I know it’s true because homeboy was with them. that’s a good thing that I remembered it. I was holding it for over 26 years. so when I think about it what else are y’all holding from me? I hope y’all had fun so please don’t get mad if I never say anything to y’all again feel me.

It’s funny cause y’all had me thinking it was all me when y’all did something first was y’all kissing on people there. what y’all had on so now that I think about it. I probably felt disrespected is that the reason I went out. how did y’all fix y’all mind to step out on me? is this what he was laughing at when I saw him like I didn’t know. y’all don’t need to explain anything I don’t want to hear it. I’m so done this is like a blessing because I now know I don’t have to be with them. I haven’t touched one of them in over 28 years.

I’m not throwing shade I want what you can afford is that this life together. you say you want me to be your all but I don’t see it. I know it’s not about money cancel that female. I have moved on please the ones that are next up don’t cross me. I’m not throwing shade you are sexy as hell. tell me if it’s cool to fuck shaking that ass, you're the only one I see in my eyes. you better stay on top of me and I like the way you get money. I haven’t slept with anyone in 23 years feel me. so I know the ones that were close to me left. I will remain strong for the sake of my children and if you have children by me thank you for waiting on me.

I’m so over it plan for the children that I have. this comes to mind if I never slept with anyone for 23 years. how can I have children by anyone, the last child that should be mine should be by this lady from queens who moved down south? Layla, I love you Whatever daddy has it’s yours feel me. I know Aaliyah loves me, people that think it’s good to be out there on these streets aren’t right. the old heads that y’all listen to if he’s not trying to lead you from the hell fire. if he’s 35 plus still running the streets. not me I need to be here for my children.

What’s that supposed to mean? yeah, I hear you but does that count toward what’s been going on? I don’t think So people think I’m playing about this shit. people might want to come back into my life we will see. seize the moment before this shit run away from y’all. I’m trying to follow this path that I’m on and I can’t get distracted by no means. we will see where this relationship goes. do you see me in your life, it’s so much other shit that’s on my mind right. we going threw things and I’m not coming home tonight. you want to show me fight for me that’s the bottom line.

I’m glad that I don’t have to put up with people that I use to put up with. these other females caught my eye and I’m asking myself. if they look like that and no man has come out and said that they are their baby's father it might just be me. I know that one of them is and if she brings her friends in thank you. let’s continue to move with one another in each other life. if that was me I would be saying they are my baby mother’s but there’s no one saying that. nine times out of ten it should be me. when you see me we will make love to one another.

Being here makes me the man I am today. why wouldn’t I love on you when I get the chance too? you are so perfect the way your body makes this old head want you. I want to lose control over your body. here and now I want to be your everything, we can’t let up from the place we are in. so let’s be great before someone takes our joy. you are telling me that you want me now. so what am I waiting for? do you ever think what life would be like if we were together right now?

Why wouldn’t I be on the other side of that pic? I don’t know what’s going on but I’m willing to find out. please don’t count me out of your life. you make up one-half of me and the other half of your mother. so together we have a little girl. what do you want to do? the reservoir means water. if you control the sea. you will be a mermaid and you would be the little mermaid. life has a funny way of showing its true colors and I’m all for it. can you hold my hand so we can walk together?

                                                                CHAPTER 164

Do you want to meet me in my room or do you want it right here. she said to give it to me right here. so I started undressing her and she was undressing me. when all of our clothes were off we made our way to the bedroom. you want me to go into details. I had some slow music playing to get us in the mood. Do you want this work right now meanwhile I had the bottle on ice. she is laying on my chest rolling a blunt. she smokes and drinks I only drink and I mean a little bit.

The next morning she said please don’t go to work and I said how do you expect me to take care of you. if I’m not working to make money for us. she said yeah I know then she said you want breakfast before you go and I said why not. she’s getting up with her fine-ass cooking. when it was done she brings it to the kitchen table and I’m saying thank you. as I leave to go to work I left her a stack and said do what you want to do today it’s on me. she said thanks this is how you treat your women.

You should always cover your tracks because people will bring it up to put it in your face. this feeling I have for my loved ones. let's stay safe because it’s up to us. if we want the life that I have laid out. if others want to be with others let them. why keep fighting for someone that’s no longer there? so move on and love the ones that love you back. you have to put your hands in the air and praise God because he is great and mighty. I try my best to show you that I love you.

You never made me feel the love that I made you feel. go away from me and watch how my life is going to change for the better. you should always get down on your knees and give thanks to God. you can do both on the same night. when you say, Jesus Christ. you say it for him to bring life into your life. so make the best out of what he gives you. never take him for granted. if you keep him close you will be able to accomplish whatever you put your mind to trust me.

                 

I’m working my ass off to care for you. every day I get up in the morning even if I’m rich. I still do for you think it’s all on me, you should have your shit together but I see nothing that you are doing. miss me with the bull shit. what need to happen is you pack your shit and get the hell out of here. you said you heard me but you are not moving. my mind will be at peace when you and your friends let loose. who wouldn’t love this life but your ungrateful ass needs to find someone.

You leave me no choice but to make you find another man. you had everything but that’s going to stop oh my God. I can’t wait until it’s over. y’all need to go to him or whoever faces y’all in. when important days come up you are not with me but have time for others. I’m so real about this hurry up or are you scared of leaving the person that pays all of your bills? oh, let me guess you can’t make it by yourself. so what I’m fed up with leave me everything and I hope you find a man that will put up with your bull shit.

You grow from a child into an adult. you are taught to love at a young age and this is where you learn all of your skills. I can’t rush loving you because I know that take time. how long are you going to make me wait for your love? this is like a movie in that I’m playing the player and you are innocent. the first mistake you made was telling me you love me. this shows that this man stood tall when everyone turned their backs on me.

I want to know now where you stand with me. the faith that this young man had. yeah, thinking when I came back home I would be loved. some love me the same way from when I left and I’m just thinking it might be stronger. you never know what people may do if you have to watch them. if I have to watch your every move I don’t need to be with you. you smiled when other men are mentioned. the way people look at us from the outside looking inside. this doesn’t change much on the other hand I just have to see.

I remember when the old Harlem was getting money. you couldn't stop us yeah people got killed but it was all part of the game. my uncle was one of the people that lost their life, and this is why I'm the way I am today, I can't forget it. we from Harlem uptown baby we make boss when I was in the south they showed this young man respect. how many people can say they did their thing in the south if ninjas run their mouths right in it just like everyone else? people telling me to fall back but I can't because this is me thinking about if my uncle was here.

If ninjas want to get down and dirty. I just hope the dot that I have contains rain. so yeah it might fall and if it does it will fall for eternal life. people don't want to put the guns down, I know I have to move carefully if I want to last in this game. there are cameras everywhere on these streets. so why would people do crimes and can't get away with it? make sure when you hustle you watch your back because the jack boys are out. I let one loose to show I'm not that person to play with because this is the old Harlem.

                                                               CHAPTER 165

Of course, females cheat you always talk about what I did but never say what you did to me. I know he was up in you giving you that good good. you know money can't cheat on you and I'm not talking about a person. it does not talk back to you. it just helps you get whatever you want out of life. the problem females think cause you get the money she's entitled to get some of your money but guess what. you can't have shit from me if you want to go out and hang out it's okay because when this comes together remember you weren't in the lab with me.

She wants everything that I own. I remember the conversation we had. you told me you are putting a freeze on my account and you are leaving all the girls that are in my life account open. this is why y'all have all access to everything that's mined. I do not mind you having all of this but you have to stay here because if you leave everything will be taken from you. so you better choose carefully and never let another man get in your head. I'm not going to say this anymore what will I be doing if she was here working harder than ever?

You can't count a man out because he lost everything. I was willing to fight for you. and losing you wasn't on my mind. so I knew when I saw you I will be okay. if there's something you want to do and be without me. I wish you the best because I need a woman that's here and now. so why waste time with something different. when we can be together and show one another the love that each other needs? yes, I'm picking myself back up with your love and seeing you over and over again. thanks for giving me the support that I needed.

For you to grow you have to work yourself to the max. you can't let up keep pushing. you are doing just fine so plan more moves out here. you worked hard for everything you earn because you are disciplined, and you have worked with a lot of people and you will work with more people. so don't give up continue to keep your mind strong even when it hurt. the pain at the end of your journey. you will be one of the best that ever did it. you bleed the writing inside of your soul and Aaliyah makes sure I'm alright.

If I'm doing anything wrong. my fault baby, I'm trying to be here but it seems like you like to be around other men. the women I need want to be with one man. this is why I will never put y'all in the place of my soul mate because she only played this son. she knew that we had something to do from the time we had that conversation. that CEO was a marking plan by yours truly. so don't get mad because she plays the game that I showed her. by the pictures you know she had a child by me right?

Putting all of your time into writing will help your craft. this is why I'm staying on my job because I want more for myself. I can't be in these streets because I'm trying to build a black Wall Street. yeah, it takes time for all of this to happen but it's coming together perfectly. dedication is all I need and if other people want to be down with this. you have to have a loyal mentality. you have to be willing to put the work in even if it doesn't click right away. all I ask is for you to do your best out there.

She wants me to finish tonight and what she wants she gets. I do this so you will have an understanding of where my mind is at. you don't have to worry but the only thing I'm saying is you shouldn't have any male friends unless it's family members. I don't have any female friends cause I know you may lie down with her or him. so we can't let that happen, the first time we connect felt so good. I remember walking down the block with you and her mother came down the block to see if she will see us.

You are on some bull shit because even dough I know that you cheated. by all means. moving on I have to accept it and get with someone that wants to see me win. I feel that there's no love in how can I make this work. I'm doing my job and you couldn't see it. I want to see you again but you are in heaven. if I had one wish it will be you falling from the sky right into my soul. oh, my fault that's what you did, and now that I have you. I will not let you go do you want love tonight? you did what you did to get on my good side right?

So how did y'all feel with my soul playing inside of your soul? meaning the dot that I have moving from one place to the next place. whoever felt that I know you felt so good. the slashes are still going down your temple, right? how does that feel I can't feel it because I got slashed in the temple in seven seconds. I died and came back from heaven because I wasn't ready to leave you. I had so many females that I wanted to sleep with and that's exactly what I did. my body all over your body is what I'm waiting on.

I remember starting this writing company book. who would've known that it would turn around and come back to me? from the first time I picked up the pen and wrote 850 verses and completed this again? I'm not stopping here so let's continue to write more. sharing your mind because you give me the strength to write to you. all I want be you I want to hold you in my arms. this is for you I hope our family is doing what y'all are supposed to be doing. you shouldn't let me down because I didn't let you down treetop.

                                                             CHAPTER 166

The secret to a man's heart is a woman that knows what she wants. we can't be playing this game back and forth because it can get old. so I need you right now to be with me. leaving this earth knowing that when we sleep we will have eternal life and the light will continue to move inside of us. I want to tell you more how about telling you I love the way you smile and smell and look? you brighten up my day when I have the chance to see you.

Baby just show me the way point me in the right direction and I will follow you whatever you want me to do. you sit here and give me ideas and show me that you know how I am feeling. when I'm mad or when I'm happy, I try not to hide my feelings because holding emotions in can hurt a man. the thought of one day making love to you stay on my mind when I get up I think of you and when I go to sleep I also think of you.

When I think I'm at my wits you show me that you are smarter than me. you give me the information that I need and I know it's coming from you. so I'm glad that you feel like you have to protect me. the thought of losing you I can't go on without you here with me. you are my roc you keep me pressing on. if Aaliyah had to choose one woman to be in my life and take her place it will be you, believe me, she knows how much you love me.

Bringing life to you helps me see that you are committed to our relationship. in the old day nothing was done that will make you look at me differently. so when you are active you will know that I have to learn how to do everything again. it should be your first time right or am I lost? the coming together will prove how much one another will make up from that conversation we had in another body. what does this body have to say about what I have accomplished do you approve?

Why help me accomplish all of this if you are not even here? thank you for it Does this mean I can give it to another female because you called me with this information? I'm like I'm so tired of people asking me for things and never giving back, another woman will accept this from me. why call if it means nothing naming names after mine for what. if it's a thank you you want to give me your welcome adhere. I just want you and your mother to go on because it's getting me mad and if this is not my fault because it seems to be the other way.

Trying to find answers that people seem to not want to answer. sometimes you have to part yourself from other people because you will never find out what it is you want to know. sharing this life of mine with the woman of my dreams she is in my soul. one minute I think it can't go left but it does. so what's a man to do? I'm glad I could've helped you but what does the man that did for you get nothing right. stand up for me and hold it down, things that were done were just to keep the kid coming back.

Friends should always have friends back because you never know how things may turn out. from the first day I came back home, you showed me, love, even when people talked bad about me and were calling me names. people's feelings started to change when the spot got opened up, all of them were coming to cop am I wrong no. why we were building they were going down. I'm not saying it's a good thing but when I came home. I just wanted to relax but I couldn't because people had something to say. so I got on my grind and you were right there.

Things are starting to irritate me because of the conversation about taking care of but I have no idea why. when it's obvious it's others. you shouldn't take advantage of someone because you feel like it's benefiting you. that's just not right because people do things out of the kindness of their hearts. looking back if I could've taken what I have done for y'all back. I would because I could've done something different from that. this is the story of my life people come inside my life for what I can do for them.

Getting calls late at night trying to tell me something and I'm trying to understand what's going on. you put so much pressure on me, you telling me you going have to take care of both of them. meaning you want me in their life but come on I do not understand this. I hope this isn't something you are using so I can help you. if you have a brother then just say that because beating around the bush isn't getting you anywhere. I need to know the truth before I exit and just move on because it's like that's what she did.

So she's naming her child blank. I know her mother's name starts with a blank but the way it seems like she's naming her that because my little sister names her child with a blank. trying to find the strength to believe her because the calls I receive tell a story. this is how she talks to me. using someone that wants to see you win. having her back when the chips were going down and now I'm thinking she's returning the favor but who knows? what's the connection I'm tired of asking the question about where you stand with me.

                                                                        CHAPTER 167

You have to think you are not using your brain this is what they want us to do. I just want to raise kings and queens. you think they give a blank about us. you have to understand money isn't the way to go but when you work hard it will come to you. as black people when are we going to come together because we are non using our power for good? why must it be so much confrontation between us? all we want to do is have a good time but times are getting hard. we need to uplift ourselves, you have to stand for something or you will fall for anything. 

I will say that I remember when I first told my mother that I wrote a book. every time I came to your house the first thing that she said when am I going to let her read it. I knew you were telling her that you wanted to read the book. when I printed it out and gave it to her after a week mother called me and said this is a good book then she said you wanted to read it. then she gave me your number for the first time and she said don't call you yet but I texted you and asked you did you want to read my book and you said yes.

The time when you know because you have a feeling that something just doesn't sit right with you. you are a cheater or you are getting cheated on. you are a player or you get played on. you have sex with a lot of females or you are faithful. if a girl has a lot of male partners would you sleep with her no not me? I can't see myself running behind another man. like going downtown. Another man left his business there before just don't sit right with me or you kiss her and she went downtown on another man and ended it the way a man wants.

Girl you know there's nothing I won't do for you. I want to put that ring on your finger but all good things come in time. finding myself again now I can look you right in your eyes and tell you how much I love you. I never want to see you cry or get upset because this man your man is trying his best. I worship the ground you walk on be patient with me. people said I'm a little 730 but I might be but I'm 730 for your love. climbing the highest mountain is what I did to find his mind. so I can be the man that you need.

If you are cheating I don't want to know with who. females can hide what they do but men seem to always get caught. you shouldn't hide anything from your partner. the way God designed us a man should be faithful to his woman and a woman should be faithful to her man. women creep a lot they think as men we do not see it or know it. you think I'm blind but I see everything that goes on. this is for all of the women that love their men. yeah, I did things in the past but I have learned from my mistakes.

When I came into your life. you had things going for yourself. you did things like making sure I saw your every move when you were outside. I was watching you grow into this young woman. there was a lot of eye contact we had. I was seeing you watching me meanwhile I was watching you to see if this could be when things got hard wasn't I there for you? I tried to take care of all of the things that you needed right? so you wouldn't have to be in the streets. from the time I wake up until I go to sleep you let me listen to that song, you thinking about me.

When you first came to see me. you asked me to walk with you to the store. one thing why were you walking that fast I couldn't keep up with you. didn't I tell you I'm going to prove why you stayed here with me? the other time we talked I told you about the movie that I wrote and was called inside card. I should've said it happened on the fourth floor and not the third floor. anyway, I should've been more pacific but I wanted you to guess what I meant. I remember playing 711 and you said you're caught.

I know money doesn't buy happiness. I'm working on loving you. I'm reaching out to all of the mothers in my life and if you don't have kids by me. I will repeat I will be unleashing everything I got inside of you. people may ask me why am I talking like this because there are slow songs I'm writing and this is for the grown and sexy. I miss you Layla your mother is playing a game with me. meeting dates but the allusion to what she says can or can't help what is going on in our life right. so let me know do I have to make a decision.

Yeah, I get it people talking about how much weight they move. come on why rap about it you not getting it. now you see that shit coming in. the Mexicans want me to chill and get money with them. we made a killing for a long time, every since Latin gave them the gateway to the sea bringing that weight in. I have been doing this since fat joe said who shot ya? just sitting here thinking about what foxy brown said aids can happen that's why I'm sticking to the females I know the ones that have been there for me since day one. 

Sitting back watching or should I say observing. the observation of a matter can detect who's telling the truth and who's not. putting yourself first in life you should always put God first right along with your family having children is the most beautiful thing in the world. please don't take your family for grand it grand God may take them from you. the only thing you have in this world is family. some people don't even know why they kill people. this is just crazy people's death should be living right. tears dropping from you and you should be listening to what I have to say.