BOOK 12

                                                          CHAPTER 183

Y'all know exactly what this shit is about. what the fuck do y'all mean. I got folks out of town that's just waiting to get right with people that go against the don. you can't have this and don't have that. you a while boy for cosigning that. if you had the chance to get money you will of course but doing shit like that isn't called for. that's letting people think that this is okay. this world needs man and his wife for real but no disrespect to you. I have been doing this music for a long time now and this isn't the way it works.

These hitches going to sleep with who they want to sleep with because it's level to this shit. be my guess if you can pull one of these hitches you can have them. If you take them off of my hand that's more money I'm going to be saving. I can stop paying monthly for them to live. you think you can take care of them. I think they will break young pockets. you have to make sure you are willing to pay about 50K a month. if you can't stay in your lane ninjas. they need their hair done feet done nails done. you think that's it you got another thing cumming.

Status what's up with you? you want that battleground flow. everybody getting money I know I shouldn't go back but now y'all getting money. I'm in the ring of people that are still moving bricks what do you know about that? the streets are mine from you to me. I hope y'all ninjas saving up for a rainy day or when ninjas hit 50 years old from that day and on my time y'all hit 57 years old. the money will run out that's when I'm going to start flossing. if this baby nine have to let loose the 16 with 1 in the chamber.

So this is what you wanted. when I get to 280 it will be 700verses. I started this on October 11. If that ain't a run I don't know what is. getting inside of your mind this far felt so amazing. yes I plan on bringing it down to 700 because that's in my mind to pass, people may ask where do I come up with this and I tell them you have to spend time with yourself and get your mind right. that's what I did and trust me it feels wonderful. Aaliyah told me to explore her mind and the mind that I have explored was yours.

It’s not all about being apart cause I can’t stop thinking about you. you know how much you mean to me. so don’t get a different idea about where you stand with me. I know you work hard at what you do. so being here makes it easy to love you. from this day forward we need to be in one another life before one of us gets upset and parts ways and you know I can’t have that. sitting here thinking about you. the way you show me that this relationship is where I need to be and I promise to live through you.

You have to control your feelings and what you mean in my life. I’m always planning so we can have whatever it is that we want. let me ask you a question if I wasn’t in this game would you mess with me, people say take it one day at a time. how can I when I got kids I have to live every minute getting money to provide for my family? yes I know y’all need things but let’s not get it mess up it’s hard to do this but I’m sure making sure it happens. I know you have businesses going on and that you bring money to this family.

The understanding comes from us talking our problems out. we must stay holy so God can save us. we can’t let the devil take over our minds even if I believe that there’s only one God and he walks in different bodies. who agree with me. I know one thing my family should believe if this is me. growing up believe in words that were taught to me, you should have faith in this life that we have. you should get the most out of your life. so you can express your feelings to your females.

The words you say to me. you riding around in any car you want. you can take trips all over the world. you love to have things. you think money is everything. I’m sorry I know you are not with me for the money and I trust you with our company. I know it’s in good hands because you have your education. this is why I’m leaving everything to our family. this is why I work so hard to give the family things that I didn’t have. even dough I had everything that I wanted because my family made sure of that.

Just want to let you know you look great understand me. as long as this doesn't get out of control I'm with it. this just shows how pretty you are. how can I think about losing my family? y'all help me get things done and if I let go things can fall apart. yeah, I'm watching you so this shit doesn't go left meaning you turning to one of them females that do whatever. I'll be dam before that shit happen I will have to go broke but even then they got school smarts. I can always fall back and they will take care of me.

You can fuck with that barbie tingz. if you can't fuck with that why be an artist on my behalf. you need bars to mess with that, that's just my thoughts if you are looking for your ken he's right here. when you fly threw the streets from my point of view having badass misses riding with me. this is for you if you take shots at me shots will return. you got it shorty and stop talking about who you are giving the goods to because the only person that's hitting them goods better be me. yes, your man moving bricks.

                                                               CHAPTER 184

Even if I hit the ground I still won't let you fall off. this is why Aaliyah freeze my account and left y'all account open. so you do not have to ask me for money, the money will just be there for you. I have been at the bottom and it isn't cool feel me. I never want to be there again. that's why I'm staying close to my family. I know y'all will take care of me if need be. the streets are hard because you have to hustle for whatever you want but good things happen to people that do good by other people understand.

When you want to get back on your feet. you hope that the females that were in your life when you had money still will wait until you get things right. I know everything that I own belongs to y'all and is in y'all bank account and nothing will change that. I have to stack money that I can use. that's right in my possession. spending more than I thought I had but I've saved a little bit and it started this month. I promise to do right with what I have. you will see that I'm a changed man for my family.

Nowadays girls think that they are the shit but a man wants a female. that brings something to the table and not one that just has a pretty face and a good-looking body. I know what I want. a female that's educated and does not have a problem with working for what she wants. you should know that you inspire me to do better and be better in life. I want you to understand that this whole company is for you to have. so you can develop the skills of women that know what she wants out of life.

You say you wanted me from the first time you saw me. I'm thinking about how many other people you saw before me. you could've been with anyone but you chose me and I love you for that I should cheat on you because of what was back then? you forgive me but it seems like you don't think I'm the man that I use to be. how can I prove to you, that this man is strong now? growing up has set me into a man that loves his woman and never wants to do her wrong. all of these girls mean nothing because if you leave I'm nothing. 

Do you love me if so please don't walk out? you asked me if I can put you in one word. what will it be caring for me? this fight isn't over yet there are still some things we have to do and in due time it will happen for us. how can I express how much I care about you? you are right up there with the woman that gave me birth. so you know what that means right? you are right when I'm wrong. you keep a person like me out of trouble because you know I sure can get in trouble if you weren't there for me. 

You should always think before you speak or do something because your actions can get you in big trouble out here. you make up things about people. you know someone said to me. you can't hustle in front of this building. I can't believe why this gangster must not know me. things can get out of hand real quick. that fighting shit doesn't mean anything when it comes to that wire and trust me. this blood shit is in me one call can get someone picked off. I hope that comes across your mind again.

This one girl that's still in my life but I'm talking about when we were younger. she used to always come to my house and when it was that time to get ready to get busy. she always had to have the best kind of lingerie on. she had to make sure she look good for me always and she use to make sure she smells good and yes I miss that about her. she still good wonderful and I'm so proud of her for being this grown woman. she's still in school and since she was 18 years old and she's like 44 years old and she's still in college getting them degrees right.

What's better than a business partner and a lover at the same damn time. I know our business is at its peak. should I hold a conversation with her or not it's up to you. I saw something that I feel uncomfortable with. that's one of the reasons I have nothing to say to her but if you want me to change my mind give me a sign that you do. facing that is hell no trust me I know why and you and no one can change my mind because if she knew what happened she would've been by your side.

What do you want to do with your life I think I know that you have a performance right. if I’m wrong prove it. the way you do your thing in this music business. I’m so proud of you for you keeping your word and keep pushing your brand. you get up in the morning bright and early to get to your business. if we come together and take care of business together. we can have everything that we want trust me. you have to want this just as bad as I want this feel me. people may say I’m throwing little extra words but who cares.

You may look but don't touch, you may touch but don't taste. this shit is crazy because it's so many females out here. I know I have a family and this is who I am talking to and about. the thought of leaving and developing feelings for someone else can be scary because I have never been with someone that I didn't know. it has always been in house. I know the love is strong but when you know people all of your life is great what if the love you love another girl that you never met? how will that feel just a random thought?

                                                               CHAPTER 185

Are you still down? if I can get next to one that wants to be in my life. when the summer comes females dress so sexy excuse me Layla because it's getting out of hand because I'm thinking this is just a man's mind. I'm only looking for one that can help me rekindle my love life. going threw another summer looking for one female but then I'm looking for Aaliyah so me waiting until life itself ends. the more I see the more it makes me want to do it. these eyes are just seeking someone that can help me get out of the relationship I'm in.

If you want someone else to handle your business make sure you don't give up your goods just to get things done. this is why a lot of girls are lost trust me I know. you think you are going to change the way these men think. this is only going out to my family because I want more for them. you have to hold your head up and make moves as a businesswoman. you can't go on with selling your soul I mean body to whoever. you can't cry after you get in that game because that's what that game is called for.

What you know about going out. is it one of the best lines in this game today? if you have different thoughts yes the apple seed can go to someone else because y'all are not 100% locked in. After all, one of y'all outtakes sexual contact. I'm not mad it's just that this is why I trust Aaliyah because her thought process was always to protect me. don't think for a minute I would do some bull shit like that unless you provoke me. I have no problem going to the other side because I know she's there waiting for me.

People say don't let your emotions get the best of you but sometimes I do think about starting over a new life. you would think that they would support you and would be there for you but it's not. I think I'm at the edge of this life that we have. I know Aaliyah has my back and she wants to see me win. she told me never let anyone come between us and yes I'm willing to wait until the end of my life. when you love someone that much you will wait because it's in your blood to be faithful to her because she can't and never had sex with anyone.

This goes out to Jay z. you said how long am I going to be in the studio and your palms are bloody. that's poems I've been in this music business with you since I was about 14 years old. Do you think I'm going to change my mind about dropping an album I think not? I need about 10 million dollars just to sign with roc nation and tell Bleek shorty got his Niece. she looks just like him but in the music that we have you said, I was supposed to rap the next verse L'Status.

L'S was the one running around New York City with my ninjas getting down to business but before I hit the streets. I use to shed a lot of blood like going into blank. breaking my right arm and a relief burn me in the eye. what about falling down the stairs and busting my right eye open? what about jumping in the snow and slabbing my leg with a glass? I remember Phaze 2 blew an M80 in his hand on July 4th. I remember me blowing up the car and my uncle riding the dirt bike at the same time Hi mumbles.

Once again the chicken types slow, she better gets her shit together because you taking trips out of town. talking about me dropping an album better yet you dropping an album. you better MF respect me because you know you are a disposable camera got that shorty. fly high like the bird you are it matches perfectly feel me. this is a rule you live by being a plucker duck you walk like one and quack like one. you always trying to shit on me but if it is mined it would be good luck. you better do something like do a show and not on the beach.

What's the problem looking at the gun I don't carry that shit on me anymore. had to get to the business because if you handle business strong arm 12 will be on you. so you have to move on the low when the roc broke up I'm sitting back like it's about to go down. that means I have to get in the room and stay in the lab feel me. yeah, he put it on my back so I came through for my company. what you didn't see that but you know it was because of me. let's not get it twisted. I had to have a clear mind to work.

Being mindful of everyone that depends on you. so they don't have to worry and that way you can keep them safe. what you thought I was going to disrespect you. I don't think so. remember me saying what's on my mind. so you can have some degrees about that fire that I spit. yes, I'm waiting until she shows herself that she is one of a kind before we fight we have to talk about where are we. this comes from having some kind of knowledge about the game that we play. so if you feel like it's something trust me it isn't as long as you respect me.

The hustle doesn't stop only people forgot how to get money and I mean real money. you have to plan this out and do whatever to make this shit a reality. there are a lot of people hustling backward. people may ask how you feel about that and I tell them who cares. when you want the family that you ran with to make money. a lot of people want all of the money cars, houses, and jewels but not me. I want people to understand my writing will be here forever. this is something that y'all can't relate to feeling me.

                                                                  CHAPTER 186

Yo, when you are ready to talk come to the old apartment. you mean the apartment where you grab the baby nine from the closet and aim for the temple but it wasn't any bullets in it yeah. the apartment that you had all of the girls in it yeah. the apartment that you use to hustle out of yeah. the apartment where you and your family reside yeah. I'm not talking about when you move because you didn't want to mess with them girls except one. I hope she's still here because the baby that she had was a boy.

Placing yourself in other people's lives isn't always going to work. you have to work at your dream. if people want to lock their minds and brainstorm ideas by all means you do that. you have to prepare yourself to be a fighter and stick with what God has given you and that's your calling in life. move when you want to move please do not let anyone push you because great things come in time. stick to your plan feel me. only you know where you want to be in your life and yeah I mean your life.

Pleasing an individual can be so hard. if you act lady like you can have the world giving to you at the drop of a dime. my blood boils when you cross my path. look at what we have created bringing life to our children. it's absurd that we think the same. people say great minds think alike. when you count the time I have been away from my family. it's been too long I'm trying to get back in your life like right now. I remember you walking up the block and by the time you got to your building. I walked up on you and we started fighting then you went upstairs.

You make things up about me. if you go out all I'm saying is don't be around other men. you can crush my heart Aaliyah is the one that I miss the most but from this day forward I'm not looking back. I remember you with our children one in the stroller and our other child was walking and you were with your sister. do you remember what I told you if not I remember I said I will take care of y'all didn't I keep my word? the only thing I have in this world is my word and my balls and I'm not lying for shit. 

If I'm headed nowhere fast let it be. going down this road has taken a toll on me. when you try to play by the rules it can get difficult. being sidetracked mean you stepping out of your comfort zone and I was never one to step out of my comfort zone when people put pressure on me. you get back by upping your game. being a leader because my family looks up to me. so I have to do whatever it is to make them proud that way they don't look up to anyone else. sometimes it gets hard you have to just simmer down.

When song cry was written he said it happened in branches and I understood what he was saying did you. when I was down south I was around Rally, new hill, toppling city, Brownsville, and Grasselli Heights out there trying to sort out my problems. the biggest challenge was getting back home to my family. leaving there was going to hurt because that's where Layla lives and she's my world. I will continue to talk to her through my writings and I want her to know that I miss her. seeing you was the beginning of my new beginning.

Taking this quote the best of you ninjas reminds me of myself when I was younger. feeling all types of love from people that want to see me win, and that comes from being solid with people that are around you. planning to help your future looks promising. one thing that you can't do is listen to other people that say why or you can't do that. when you participate with others and know yourself. people say run but when I was out of town ninjas never saw that much money taking trips in and out of states.

Why is it I'm going in the wrong direction with you or are you looking for me to be there with you? I have given you everything that you want from me. you can't be asking for more because I'm out of gifts. you need to be giving me gifts because you need to exchange the favor. I never wanted us to be in this situation trust me but my heart is big enough to move on if need be. problems always seem to find me but I'm not running. I'm dealing with them head-on. this is the only way I'm going to be able to face my fears.

When you know someone you act like things are meant to be but it can go backward. you never know how she feels about other men. so you start going out to clubs and then hanging around other girls if it's not that then say hello for all I know you might know someone that knows someone. who am I to take that from you but don't think it can't go both ways. just imagine me finding someone else to be with. sometimes I feel like walking out but there's this feeling that it might be the right thing to do.

Nowadays the streets aren't the same feel me. you can get in trouble and people might be after you but you handle the beef when it comes to you. when you are moving all of this girl. you make a lot of money off of it and I'm not letting that part of my life go because the money is outstanding. you still have to watch your back out here but the trust that I have for my family is unbelievable. people get murdered every day. you have to stay out of the way before that are you and I know you don't want that to be you right?

                                                               CHAPTER 187

Who wants what yo y'all killed this track? when I was young running the streets. the beef was there. A lot of people that I thought were with me weren't at all. putting my life on the line for you but that can change in a second. this is my mind going on only believe half of what you see and believe what you see unless that person says something different. this is the mind of a man that's writing everything that comes to his mind. this is how I express myself again. this is all I know I do so yes you can don't let it go past that.

It's not right it's not ladylike. trying to put things back together was hard but the fight getting back on my feet. yes, I did it because of my family. the way people said something about you. you should just overlook it because you know the type of person you are. staying focused on what's at hand because you never want to fall off. been seen through the bull shit but never spoke on it. you show people that you have a good head on your shoulders I'm wheezing because I need my medicine.

And another one. Do you know what will make me so happy? if I knew the truth about where you stand because as of right now I know you are not here with me. I can feel it because the way you handle things makes me feel like you are on my side next to your sister. if you feel like you want to change up and give someone else a chance be my guess. you want me to spend all of this money on you. yes, you dig down in it. you are supposed to watch and learn. I can teach you how to get the bag that will make you set for the rest of your life.

People can be relentless at times but not me. all I asked for was for my family not to cross me and they did. so yeah I have to keep my guard up because people will hurt me. After all, people have no feelings at all. you have to stick to the family that you have created because they will never let you down trust me when you find people looking for what you can help them with and I'm not talking about you. you know I like doing for you because you gave me all of these blessings. you turned my world from upside down to straightforward. 

You know that you are doing something right when your girl feels happy and feel like she's the queen. that's what you mean to me but if we shall ever break up it will be hard I know I have to move on. I get caught up so much in taking care of your business that you forget about loving my women. I know the comfort of a man is all she wanted but the bills are calling and I know you like nice things. we can lie down whenever you want just let me know and we can do that. I'm not forcing you right now, so you should enjoy yourself.

Creating space between people can cause conflict but it doesn't with us because we know where home is. not being in one another's life for this much time has closed us. we do things that one another will be happy for the other person that's in our life. we need to keep up the good work because the things that we do will pay off in the future for both of us. we just have to believe in our work and whoever is part of this will also advance in life and their company. this is put together by us and we will accept it.

You can spoil women but if that woman is not interested in money. what else can you give her how about you give her your heart. she probably likes long walks on the beach and walks in the park and just hanging out with you. she probably values your company. if you have a woman like that you keep her, and show her love by doing all of the things. I just told you because she will love you. even more, trust me, some females have their own money so they can buy whatever they want to buy but time is everything.

If God gave you a gift continue to work on that gift because you never know what can happen. for our family to be accomplishing this much. we had to put the work in it doesn't come easy at all. stay on your job and I told you if you have to tour go for it. the respect we have just continue to respect our relationship. I know you wouldn't do anything to mess that up right? you look like you are a down-ass girl and will handle me but if I go to black justice will you ride or die? the time I will get maybe a long time.

A company is built on hard work. you have to work even when you don't want to work. when you have that understanding achieving goals come easy trust me. you should rely on what you have just know you are not in it by yourself. I will forever have your back as long as you don't do anything to hurt me. look at where we are at right now everybody working and getting things done. this is exactly what I wanted for us. putting our all into our dreams. followed by strength and dedication to our craft.

Thank God I have you in my presence. baby the only thing I want to do is shower you with gifts. this is the real meaning of love. you have shown me that. when other girls look like they want to talk to me. I curve them for you because of the way you make me feel. I know if I lose you I will probably have bad luck because you have blessed me with these wonderful children and if you don't have children by me. just think about it either you never had sex or I'm the only one you've ever been with. you should be proud of yourself.

                                                              CHAPTER 188

Stepping out wasn't intended but since it happened let me say more. as a kid having a lot of females every day in my house with me and then all of a sudden it was over. I should have gone cold turkey back then but I want y'all to know every day my mind was with y'all believe me. half of my life was having sexual contact and the other half had no kind of sexual contact and I'm 36 years old. so that 18 doing and 18 not doing. you learn the do's and don't as a young kid. I remember Moe used to have me listening to it written all over your face.

I just have to see how this is going to turn out. I’m outside right now thinking about keeping you next to me. I can’t wonder about you with someone else and I never want you to walk out. the rest of my life I want it to be with you. so yes I have to do whatever it is that I can do to keep my mind sane for the better for the sake of our children. the conversation we have should be about positive thoughts because if it’s anything different. there’s a great deal that we might break up and I can’t have that. I think you mean more to me.

When she was in the kitchen cooking for me. she was listening to usher you got it bad. so does that mean when you are out with someone you think about me? the person you better be out with better you know what cause if I have to change her soul I will. Do you know about the boy who cried wolf? I'm telling you this because it is going to turn into the girl that cried wolf. when you say strip because of what you did when getting out of the shower were you thinking about me because I was right there when you came out of the room?

If I'm looking for the same girl that's a girl that's focused on herself you know. one that has her shit together and doesn't mind staying in. if it has worked on it yes I want her to get to that paper. I'm the one that wants to see you succeed in doing what she likes to do. laying there looking sexy as hell. she stays on her grind that's what I like to see when you're not here I hope you remember you got a man at home and I don't want to talk to you. I want to talk to that cat. so put her on the phone I'm asking if is everything okay, this is Elijah.

I just have one question is home where the heart is at? I'm just filling in the blanks to my madness. you know I'm just playing how did it go. you are so far away from me. you know I get worried when you are gone because I can't have any man looking at you. my mind knows that you are faithful to me but I can't help but wonder. this life that we have is enough for you. let me stop playing I know it's enough for you. okay, I'm talking to you again but keep her comfortable never let another man come between us.

Let's get the facts straight the only time you went platinum is when you were with my team. so stop saying ain't nobody else go platinum on my label because you are lying. after you got dropped everything went wood. the game trusts me I understand the rules that people play out here. the only reason y'all was known was that y'all were playing with my money. yeah, you might not be beefing with the family man but mase told you if you know then handle that shit with him. it's crazy how people who were with you now side with the other side.

If 1974 was the year that you were born and 410 is the date that she got pregnant and that's a gang. this can only mean one thing I might have a shot at having both of y'all. let's see where this goes. if both of y'all have children by me. this is what I'm trying to figure out. I'm not trying to throw it in y'all face everything that I did for y'all family but I think I have been a good man with everything that has taken place. since the first time I saw you. I remember texting you asking you what team you are on and then you called and said you see me.

She was holding me down on the block and I love her for that. I feel like she is the one I could put this rock on her finger. so she could walk around and show it off to everyone. I never doubted you for one minute. I had to make sure you were built for this life with me. every call you sent me I came straight to the house and gave you and then mother asking me if I'm going home. I knew that you want me to go home to keep you company and every time I said yeah it didn't matter what I was doing.

People wouldn't be able to disguise themselves from people that know them right. I remember having a conversation with you and you said two people that were close to you didn't like clowns. then I told you when I was out of town. I went swimming at night but I wasn't supposed to but who cares. running around the pool I slip and fell and fell in the water but I was able to swim back to the top and by the way. I'm an excellent swimmer. I hurt my arm after that I never went to a pool again and you told me that shouldn't be the reason to go back to the pool.

Letting the music speak for itself has always been the way I feel the vibes. you should always want to be in my corner because I have the ambition to do better for my family. you want to drop the top and ride down sunset with your hair blowing in the wind. what the hell are you doing right you should be reading what I write because you have to keep up with me. this is our company and you should take it seriously because I'm not playing. I see there aren't any pics surfacing about you hanging out.

                                                       CHAPTER 189

If I wanted to be a player trust me I will but the females keep a young man straight. why would I look for another female? when I have a lot of different females that are in my life that means many different cats. thunder when it storms it rains hard feel me. yes, I did that and I will continue to close whoever had something to do with me being set up. please don't disrespect me because if so it will be consequences and I know you wouldn't like it. so keep your shit tight feel me. a pic is like stabbing me in my back.

Stay scheming when that shit went down it had me thinking for a minute. you sitting in there wanting to come home. I'm coming from uptown and passed the corner. she got this look on her face like you better get my sister out and the only thing I could do was shake my head. what about when you walked to the corner and immediately walked back down the block? you had this look on your face like I better handle business. you know I got what you need this rap shit like the drug game. you have to have them coming back for more.

When I got the phone call the other day, the call was about putting 300 versus up and yes I'm trying my best to do so. it takes time to put this writing together before you say something I know you think about what you are saying after the judge acquitted your case another case was born and I know I told you to take it to trial. I'm so happy we were able to do for you by getting you the best lawyer. fast forward to now, I'm trying to keep the words I tell you. so you can believe me, and when I tell you something I mean it.

You can't be with someone that wants to cheat on the other person. you changed this man for the better and you should be proud of yourself because know other women could do that. there are four seasons and the last one is fall. what's the knowledge in that? it's like whichever way I look it has something to do with you. following up on what we talked about when I first came to your house about you telling me stories came true right? so don't ever think I'm not trying to handle business it's just that business can get hard to handle sometimes.

When I asked you to deal with why would you lie or cheat on me? this time around I plan on holding on to this woman that captured my heart before someone else steals her right from under me but you know what she said you have nothing to worry about. I remember walking down the block and in my mind she said to call the phone she will answer the phone. so when I passed by her apartment I called and she answered the phone she said her mother was out of town when we first had a conversation she wanted to know if the chemistry was there.

Girls get plucked like chickens. this is a public service announcement. if you are a chicken head you have to get your shit together. I'm thinking about eating eggs tonight please tell me Does that hurt your feelings? these ducks hanging out must be on some bull shit trying to take me out because I ain't got it. please the only thing you are getting is a happy meal and she said supersize ME don't even supersize anymore. I was just there trying to get some french fries. this goes out to you for saying you are sending me a pic and I still ain't got it yet.

When I first saw you I was on the basketball court and my friends called you to talk to me. I came outside of the park and started talking to you. you were coming to the park every day to see me and then I had to go out of town. I know I should've told you why and then one day I came back home and you were crossing the street. then you walked up the block and I said nothing that was because I didn't want to talk because I needed to know I was coming home for good. that's why when you walked to the store with my son. I came to see y'all.

Always going to Debbie seeing you there. you always stayed in the room and only came out when you were going out to get something to eat or release yourself. you looked so good to me. you were the cutest person I have laid my eyes on in a long while. you made me feel like it was meant to be but I never said anything to you out of respect for her. I'm sitting here wondering what are you doing right now and do you have a family by me if this is possible please understand that I will be the happiest person in the world. 

Take away the money and the fame. we are all regular people at the end of the day. so we should be treated as such feel me. moving on with my life with the ladies that are here for me is all I want to do. you showed me know sympathy and now that I'm on my feet you can't come back to me. the way I'm moving today only the ones that have been here for me will reap the benefits of what I have accomplished. I can't tell y'all how much I'm thankful to you. she's standing right over my shoulders telling me to work more.

If I had seven days to get my shit together trust me I will because you are the one that makes me smile. I can't help the way I feel about you because you have shown me that life means more than money and I'm setting aside a business for us to run. so we can have all of the things that we need. so be grateful for me because some females take their men for granted and I can't take this anymore. when we fell in love I had my hopes high hoping you do not cross me and I mean to say status because that's the word I like to use.

                                                         CHAPTER 190

Being by your side because you are a grown woman. that has all of the qualities that you are the right woman for me. I'm having this heartfelt idea that you make up 50% of me. being that you are my half sharing it three-way because the corner of the puzzle feels like I can't figure it out. After all, it's too hard to understand. why I don't know why but if I keep playing this little game that is set up for me to play. I think I got it down pack now because I played it every day. this is like school because you are here to learn.

Let's get into how hard a woman can love. the man only knows what he sees and that's his father walking out on his mother. so of course, that's in his blood right but think about it women hold down the household as a single parent if I have this dot on my hand and females gets their period that is the reason they have babies and their body has to check in with me and when people Passover they come back into me. from my writing, you should have learned who I am and what I am doing here to protect my people.

You must love me. if we continue to do for one another we together can accomplish anything we put our minds to. yes, I'm grateful you are in my life. but I can't get over the fact that that happened to you. looking at you when that happened. I knew I had to put my game face on to take care of you. women that's scorn will never forget. I'm not saying it was my fault but we moved on from that the scenario had to be written. yes, I put it in a book to express the way I feel about you.

Doing it the first one that I need to have sex with has to be the one. they just told me the key she want me to pull off in the car while she ride beside me. the only one I look at. you want this the way I want you. you always keep my mind focused. shit, I can't get mad if another ninja shoots their game because if you know me I don't have to give mine up until the end of the road from boys to men. she's telling me age ain't nothing but a number sure I'm waiting for you. how long do I have to wait for my pics to come through I want to see my children having fun.

When you are sitting back lounging. you can see who's with you before you choose one to be with you. I know the money won't keep a lady but me getting money. money can't change me. people may say it's enough to go around. yeah, I'm watching my money stack up but if she is down to lay down with another person be my guess. one thing that won't stress me out and that be getting to this paper and that's because I have been faithful to God. this is why he controls everything in my life. I can't think about the feds and a girl.

Falling without getting back up or at least fighting to get back up. you shouldn't stay down you should get back on your feet and handle what needs to be handled. there are only one God's people if he is designed to be in my image. I mean I'm designed in his image right because if I open my arms and put them out to the side and my legs are straight down. that's how he died on the cross but I like to say status for reason that I have learned being in the streets. the best advice I can give someone is to thank God for what you have.

Better yet let's take our time because I'm trying not to run behind another person that had sex with someone else unless it's worth it. it has to be a long period between the two of us because the wait is on the count and yes I can wait until I'm ready. debating on who shall break it because when you take time to restore your body to a virgin okay 23 years in the world without and 25 years without anyone in New York City. you should pace yourself because your baby girl wants you to use your mind.

I come to understand that this is her that's inside of me because she won't let anyone enter inside of me not even a conversation with another female. she won't let me go because she wants to protect me just in case it doesn't work out she wouldn't have to tell me she told me so. this is the main reason I'm listening to her. my inner self has to respect her because she has guided me this far and I'm not letting her go. the reason she doesn't trust me is that the person has to be someone that she loves and when that person enters my presents she will let me know.

Not knowing where the pick-me-up came from. her voice keeps playing inside of my mind telling me to be faithful to her. who am I to let her down when I'm her protector? I used everything I had to go from hell to heaven to possess her soul inside of my body. I had to shed a lot of blood. Of course, I was willing to let my mind be strong and I never cried when it was happening to control that part of my mind was hard but I did it. I didn't give up on her because she's my savior. let's be real I owe my hold life to her.

So I did what you asked for and put the pic up. I hope you are at a different time feel me. this means who do you belong with or engage with because you tell me everything that goes on in your life. I remember when you bend down on one knee and said there's hair on the carpet. this is more of you giving me the understanding that you are watching over me. by the way. my name is L's can I help you out with what you need help with? I never want to take you for granted. so this is my way to let you know that I need you.

                                                             CHAPTER 191

Yeah right, this is my life and I'm from Harlem. things sure can get messy with you and I. you might be in a relationship but why you are always telling me your thoughts? you should follow your heart before you find someone that's not for you. where we at baby creeping throw the frog he might be your brother. should I write this or hold it in my thoughts you know what I mean. this is why you told me but the mind has a mind of its baby. I knew you wanted me to get out of the streets and I'm wondering if we share two children.

What we share let no one come between us. God gave us a gift and your gift is to keep me focus. so we can continue to make moves that need to be made. I'm upping the stakes I will die for this life that I'm able to give my family. seeing my children is always a blessing because I'm their father and trust me I'm here for them. from the time my children wake up until they go to sleep. I'm right beside them and I will never leave them because the love I have for them is out of this world.

So shorty showing that she can change up and dress respectfully and yes you look great. you do your thing trust me I'm not stopping you. if this is both of our dreams and you put money inside of our bank account why not. all I ask for is respect. let me ask you this do you want to be outside getting rubbed on and shaking your ass. this is a female that's lost and I don't want that to be anyone that's in my life right now. this is why I'm so hard on y'all because I know the outcome to the streets believe me.

Favor for a favor if one got hit from down there and then my uncle got hit. what's the knowledge in this I'm just stating facts? so why would I be alright this shit just made me the person I am right now and trust me I'm not backing down. this is what you call a brave heart. people that you wouldn't think did shit I know you are not here but your name will live on through me. if some people knew the truth about why you are gone. I'm in the car with you and I'm the last one to see you before that tragedy happened. so for me to trust someone in the streets you have to be a real close friend.

I want to be with you can you see that? I know I show you how much you complete me. when I'm thinking about saying something you say it for me or if I want to think about leaving you always show me that you are the one for me. planning a future with you has to be the best thing that this man would have done. just as much as I help you trust me you help me. you new roc always wearing that around your neck. I promise if not over my dead body you will be rocking one of those chains again believe me.

Having this understanding that we are building with one another makes me happy. I couldn't think of anyone I will rather be building this empire with than you. you make life so much easier because you don't give me stress. so I'm able to think about what I have to say. you also make things hard but I like that because I can challenge myself to be a better man and a better worker at what I am doing for our family. crossing this path using my head this is what came to my mind and I hope you have enjoyed it.

Spectacular is the name I gave you because you are right in my corner. whenever I need you but I have to know where you stand with me. this path we have been on I'm glad that you have walked it with me. you make my bones tingle. every time I see you I get this chill in my body and trust me it's a warm feeling. the thought of you leaving me isn't something that I think about. I can't slip that's an inside joke do you get it? I can never do you wrong because you are the queen to me.

Girl I had things that needed to be taken care of back then but this is a new me and this me knows how to be faithful to the one that I want to be with. it's not a problem but being in the game is. you learn the pros and cons to be a man. I think I have grown up. the future looks so promising. one thing that I'm sure of is how can you walk out or if are you living with me. moving on why do you think that's a good idea? you are supposed to protect me from other females. I hold you down so you should hold me down too.

People that want to spend time in black justice. I never understood why but that's just the way they want to live their life. yeah, I hope 12 doesn't lock me up. ducking them until I can't duck them anymore and I'm not saying duck because of y'all females but since we are on the subject. let's talk about what you think just because you do something like that for the children. you are off the hook I think not. I'm going to put my foot in your ass when I see you. I'm just playing and now back to business. the game in this coke world is bigger than you think.

Making my round to get this business off of the ground. let me know if I disappointed you with the acts that were taking place. when I was out of your life not out but you told me. you wanted me to take care of the gift that God and Jesus being myself had in store for me. I know the dots that the connection was moving inside of your soul felt good right? that's how I said I'm sorry for putting y'all through all of that. this time around I plans on handling things differently and remaining loving you for the woman you are.

                                                              CHAPTER 192

Fellas you ever met a girl that matches who you are but you can't wrap your mind around one thing and that be is she faithful females can do that and never get caught. so I have to watch out because my feelings can get hurt but I'm strong. so if that happened I will be ready for it. you think you know her but you don't know her at all. females can hide behind a smile and you will never know the difference from her playing games. I need one that's straightforward for me. so I will know how to handle her.

If I punch you in your face and knock your teeth out. this Harlem thing that we come from trust me is cut from a different cloth and I want those to know to trust me. I’m watching everything if I’m your boy keep me on the right path. if I fall off the money will stop so you should care more about how I handle business out here. please people just tell the truth being deep in these streets. yeah, I sold shit and probably still handling business but who knows. when you are on the low you can handle more street shit.

If o.g. tye died with the gun on the left hand and I got this dot on my hand maybe he’s telling y’all that I’m the reason this blood shit started on the east coast. Damu when I was running the streets it was loyalty in the streets and now blood goes at blood. when this 17 let loose, who’s going to be the person that put the rules back in order? when it started it was for a purpose and now people just banging and making shit up. we have to move around and handle business out here.

The only way I know how to express myself is through this pen. you know things don’t get me upset except the people that cross me. if it was all about that where were they if you say something then do something. this is the reason I’m waiting until I can’t wait anymore. people have this idea that people are okay but when you can see people that were against me. how can you but I understand but if things change just remember it’s because of who and I’m not going to say anything else about it and for those that thought it was a good idea blank them too?

People try to stop other people from getting it by saying people might be working for the feds. people always have something to say about everyone but if people knew it all why the black ball? it was okay when you were receiving corporate checks it was all good. people say other people wanted to stop it by saying things just stating facts. let’s see how long from here because the saying was just to do what was to cover up what was done. if you didn’t have to answer me why say it to do something wrong?

It’s been a minute since that girl came over here how long do I have to wait I’m getting impatient with the connection.  you can see if 12 come get me it’s because of what how many people talking to 12 right now. mind as well speak my mind. it’s a gift to write like this. yeah, the grind doesn’t stop because you ain’t never rich. you see them hill boys on the loose it can get messy. you do what you have to do meanwhile people that I mess with do what they want to do. the microphone can and will get hot.

You won’t see me tonight. how many baby mothers I have since you want to use thought before you do something? that level can matter a fact it did hurt because the next time you’re 50. can you hold on that long I have no chill button? you want to show me something that I never knew. I like to make the worst girls wait. all praise to Allah be for real but you can’t. I know you open you want to be my friend. touching probably who knows but my faith is in her hands. if you got her back let’s go on this journey. if you want to get off this ride be my guess.

Life is what you make it. let me start by saying if you say you not worrying about what other people are doing. how come every time you speak you talk about someone and say this is how you would've handled it? yeah, the block get me 801 but I got that vest on. the only way the vest won’t work will be if I go to black justice. so those that oppose can follow the trend and stay over there because real ninjas don’t tolerate shit. so while I’m here I can get mine and y’all get y’all. the cage isn’t for me at all because I have to feed my family.

What is it all about the game it has people that get the bag and people that want the bag? we are people that are getting shit taking care of the business that is at hand. you have to be straightforward with this game that you are in. the money doesn’t make the man. the man makes the money, putting your best foot forward in any altercation so you can better yourself in those types of situations. I’m planning the right way to live from this day on. the path that you believe in can help you accomplish your goals in life.

Dying to get out of the game but it’s like if I get gone will people still respect me and what I have done for it? I’m telling myself I want to get out I’m just kidding because the money is great and I need all that I can get. stop looking back and continue to move forward step by step. you have to have the upper hand when you are dealing with street shit. being in this life the game doesn’t change only times change. so do what you have to do before you lose everything. so fight for your inner self so you will be conscious of the right thing.

                                                         CHAPTER 193

Trap God First off you sent that girl over here. that’s exactly what I’m talking about. the people that are at the head of my blank organization. if we continue to do good through the connection we can have everything that we want. people should know when you come from the bottom. you will do whatever you have to do to get paid but that can get you in trouble, right? you should move accordingly to keep the connection happy. the things you do when your back to the wall. you wouldn’t give a blank about others' right?

You should try to watch everything you do because who can you turn to when the chips are down? putting people in a position to win is all I wanted to do but people couldn’t handle me on top don’t mind others on top but that stopped didn’t it? like fabulous said you’ll be alright if you present with the man. meaning me coming back home to reclaim everything that was stolen from me. it ain’t about who’s at the top it’s about people giving respect and being a man that can pave the way for others.

She’s telling me if I get in any beef she will be there with the wire to pop off. I’m saying to myself is this female a ride-or-die type of chick on the flip side two times in cuffs? what are you trying to show me? when Memphis bleek was in the video around here and said December 16 ain’t that the day you got locked up. are you trying to tell me on the run with me? on the other side, your baby shower was on December 14 and that Monday was the 16 and you called me at 8 in the morning. what type of signs you are throwing.

So out of everything the only amount of cash y’all have given me is about $62. everything that y’all buy I pay for oh what you mad I’m back on my sporty shit. I remember going to where I was going to post on my blog site. this chicken head was at the beauty Salon ready to get her hair done. this is the shit I’m talking about I can’t even get my hair done. what are you going to say the conversation we had went left. take 2 the mind is a terrible thing to waste.

When you are making a way for you to get money. being tough has to go out of the window because these labels aren’t going to mess with you. you can’t be starting fights and getting in all of these kinds of beef because that’s bad for business trust me. people that are gangsters move in silence because with one mistake you can go to black justice. you should want to get your paper and keep it pushing because 12 isn’t playing fair and trust me I fear no one because it’s in my blood to be thorough.

Fixing problems come with patience, you have to be willing to put in the time for this relationship. you can say one thing and do another. you might ask how hard it is for me to trust a female. yeah, I have trust issues because the woman that has my heart is no longer here nor did she change her soul into yours by entering where I slashed? the way I see it looking above I’m just waiting to get there because I want to see you or see you in my reality. you promise me so much and I’m holding you to it because if you don’t keep your word. the person you are mean nothing to me.

Looking out of my window seeing you walk down the block me exchanging paths with you and going up the block. I know you are trying to wait until I make a mistake but that’s not happening. I’m in this relationship because I want to be. if there’s someone else I wanted to be with trust me I will but that never crossed my mind. my heart knows where it belongs and that’s here with my family. even if we get mad at one another that doesn’t mean we need to separate because our minds are connected to one another.

Discovery is the best position someone can be in. you know I will never hide anything from you. if I fall off right will you help me get back on my feet she replies yes baby? you seem to know what I’m thinking before I say it because another phone call came in to tell me to use E.G. and that means for example, thanks for the knowledge you just assist me with trust me it gets known better than this. if I wave my hand your way better life will happen for you. the grind you keep me on. yes, I’m ready to go to the end of the world for you.

Take away the money the grind the hustle the right to hang with people. when you are by yourself. you have to do for yourself but boy it’s better when you have people in your corner. that will fight for you to achieve your goals. nobody can take that from you. set a goal for yourself and make sure you reach it. grind until the goal is in arms reach never take the negativity. if you have to block out the loud noise do so. so you can have the mindset that you stay on the right path because if you can see potential in me so be it.

You can’t run from the gun you can only hide if we throw that shit on. the crew that I mess with can’t be stopped at all. the game you play is different from what I play. I’m in it for the money fuck the fame. you can keep that because my children can’t eat off of how many people know me but they can eat off of these choices I make. getting better with this pen because I do this shit every day. I sleep writing raps and now my company can make money when I sleep for real, get with the program you thought I forgot.

                                                             CHAPTER 194

I can feel it in the air. yes, I’m seeking the ladies that are in my life match what I have given them because it will mean everything to me. the way she looks when she steps outside is a reflection of me and the way my children look reflects me. so I have to make sure they’re up to par in these streets. sometimes my head hurts because I work even when I need sleep but for them, I will do whatever it takes to provide for them. I can’t let them down under no circumstance. when you like to help others out it feels great.

Straight up you always seem to get your way in everything we do. people might ask how come and I say because you are the queen and I’m your night and shining armor. what does the lion king have to do with this? what’s your favorite movie what she told me. is that a connection with us being together? my mind keeps drifting on what if this isn’t true but the calls keep coming threw, you know I’m picking up regardless. it doesn’t matter because you hit me all time of night.

Only you light it up one time for all of the females that are here for me. this is a wonderful feeling and I’m grateful to you for y’all not leaving me. you can have it all and time will only tell. people have ups and downs in their life. so let’s move on and enjoy this life together before you leave me. I have to show you that I care about your feelings. I want to block out all of the negative thoughts that I may have and trust you as you trust me. I know brother and sister connection that’s how strong we are.

So digging deeper into this street life. hustlers do what they got to do. you can’t be mad we all have the same 24 hours in a day. so make yours worthwhile. take care of your business before you have no business. the positive stay strong while the weak suffer. if everyone helps one another there’s no way we can lose. can I live without the tension of another man's hate? you should cover all grounds. so that way you live better and have a better understanding of life. in that order, all righteous stand up for once.

If I had one more chance to make it right by you trust me I will. when you start building with people you trust amazing things can happen. I’m reaching out to the females that haven’t come to terms that this is where you need to be. the growth of this man trust me I will show you how much I’m educated now and I mean educated on being this man. if you show the ladies in your life that it isn’t about sex. a lot of females will develop that this is where they want to be and all of them will have this understanding that love is there.

People say what you don’t know won’t hurt you but when she’s showing you something how do you take it? it could be meant to hurt you or just let you know that that person came up to you and asked your name and she said she’s married. showing what your mother gave you but I see that you were covered up and you said that before thanking you but if it’s the opposite have it your way. I’m not stopping for no reason that I can’t put my finger around because the grind keeps calling me.

When Aaliyah said come back to her that’s exactly what I did. who else was she talking about. let’s get the facts straight. people think I don’t know the rule having the women that knew her. people said you were seeing both of them but not mine because the setup was on her and I know she didn’t cross me. I remember when you mush me on the side of my head. you followed protocol from the song I miss you. figuring all of this out if I’m not lying who is because as you can see it’s obvious that we have children.

Everyone has street dream tell me what are you in the street for to get money. this is the drug dealer's goal to overcome life and live like king. you follow the bro code but some people want to divide what God has given you. you can’t let know one come between you and your goals. strive for what you believe in. fight for it to happen because if you don’t put your all into it who will? the older Gods told me to stay on my grind. I remember my uncle putting $20 right on the closet shelf and of course, I got it. I never forgot that move.

If the slashes that I had made me change my soul into her body. when I went through murder. I think we were fighting to see who will enter that soul first. we did everything to collide with one another so who won? I guess you won if I’m that diamond in the dirt. I have an S on my chest if you say Esce that word means S now that we are together people say that you are good and I’m saying sure she’s good because she has a man that will do whatever she wants. I can’t let this go, we have to do it until we meet again up in heaven.

If she wants a perfect love story. she might have to look for a man that’s willing to go all out for her. one that will give up his life for her. is that what Aaliyah did for me how can I forget and disregard anything that people may say about you and I. cause I know you are the reason I’m here. Layla, I miss you a lot feel me, I’m pouring my thoughts out so you can understand what I’m going through right about now. if cumsi is 39 and I’m 36 that's 75 and if you hold 150 sure right our grandmothers up in heaven.

                                                            CHAPTER 195

I’m not giving up so easily. when I have my eyes on something that I want. I’m going to put pressure on you and the way you treat me. I remember you coming downstairs and I put my umbrella between the gate and you open the door and asked me where’s my umbrella and I said right there. you hit me up 316 only you and I know what that means. I remember I’m at work and I received a phone call asking me do I have my umbrella because you didn’t want me to get wet. After all, it was raining, which meant don’t cross me.

Being humble is the way to go. if you stay like that anything you want will come to you. let the light shine on you. the question is how long you are going to put up with my bull shit. all of that shit happened back in the day. you coming to terms with that when you look at our family. you can look at the age she is and know that’s the age and the last time. I had any encounter with any women in New York City. let’s be honest this man stood up for y’all and I will continue to do for y’all even if I have to grind from the bottom again.

So there’s a meeting in my bedroom. it’s up to you if you will like to come. I’m watching the words I use because saying that might offend people and I don’t want to come across like that. baby making love to you. how about I bring the flowers in other words I got you. who cares if you are worried? looking at these women let’s share all types of thoughts that run through our minds. baby, do you want to ride shotgun with me? better yet I will get on the passenger side and let you take the wheel because I’m Jesus in my Jay z voice.

Oh no please don’t come after all of this time. I know how people can be on the other side and then see things change right before their eyes but that means my mind is place full. I worked hard for this when I said 520 that’s for people that know what's popping and she’s telling me what’s good. if you look at the half birthdays equal. the transition changed everything. I’m letting you know this if you weren’t with me when I was on the grind be with who you were with.

Let’s talk about if she cheated on me. you can’t get a pass because I’m upset. you will never understand I did everything for you. you can’t hide forever you have to show your face. the person that I will spend the rest of my life with has to be a good girl. I can’t have her out and about. she has to show some respect. no shade thrown you look like you can’t hold it in. you stay on me and tell me exactly what I want to hear. in the middle of writing this verse another call, I'm grateful.

Tell me if we share the same thoughts so I can know where you stand. I’m all up in your business meanwhile you're all up in my business. come closer get right next to me. when I look at you I think God has blessed you. I know I did things in the past but on the 17th it will be 21 years since I had any connection with anyone in New York City. that’s why I told you to have her at this age because you were the same age. if this isn’t what you are doing God only blesses a person that helps others and one that’s not using a person.

If you go to heaven and I go to hell. we have to return to earth nine more times because I have accomplished the gift that God has given me. the people that will return with me be the family that I have but trust me the dot will move inside of our body for all of eternity. when I wake up and you are up I know that I’m slashing you. this is my apology. I just hope you forgive me for being such a bad azz. let know men take this from us and let know women come between our family. let’s keep it real if it wasn’t for you. I’ll probably be having problems.

What you put into a relationship. you will get out of it. just think about it I thought I couldn’t get back on track but guess what I’m on track now. I have been waiting so long for this day feel me. the hopes I have of putting it on you tonight. when I wake up she has breakfast cooked, that’s breakfast in the bed. I want to take you up on that offer for real. the moves you make a real man feel you and appreciate what you do for me. I’m the one that wants to put this in motion can you handle that? I love when you get on top of me.

You mind as well tell me what you are thinking. so I can have an understanding of the way to treat you. how come you only show me, love, when we are by ourselves? I’m there spiritually physically and emotionally. I always show you how much I care about you. this marks 21 years all across the world except Birmingham but Birmingham holds 18 years. when you look at her know that’s the age you were okay. why would you name her after someone in my family if it wasn’t? see things can get out of hand.

As I said when I was locked up on 10/31/2000. I knew I had to get back to my family. I had to give myself time to sort out all of my problems. the troubles I had came from when I was away. some people grew apart but I’m here to tell you that I’m thankful. that you stayed in my life and took care of our children. that’s all I wanted and thank you for still having children by me. I can’t think about changing up on you because when I had nothing you showed me, love.

                                                             CHAPTER 196

As I approach the number that you wanted me to accomplish. what do you have to say about that? I know you got this smile on your face for knowing this is possible. I want to make my way to see you. you stay on my mind strong morning. afternoon and night. please tell me how I get you out of my head. people say you keep someone's spirit going by thinking about them. the image that comes to my mind is a strong image trust me. I never want you to go away from my mind. I locked this door and only certain people can open it.

I’m not trying to be a runner-up for your love. I’m trying to be in the lead and you submit yourself to me. I don’t want to argue with you about small things. we are supposed to be having the time of our life. I never want my mind to think bad thoughts about me doing something wrong to you. meaning cheating on you not putting my hands on you because I will never do that. I’m trying to figure out when is the appropriate time to make love to you. I can’t take this waiting shit anymore. I want to make love to you right now.

Someone is sleeping in my bed. why must you lie about who you are dealing with? everyone is telling me that you cross me. I can’t get mad I just have to get even because if she’s petty I can get petty too. if I give this power to someone else you will regret it trusts me. if I have to walk out and find another female to take her place. I’m not looking back for anything and enough is enough. you need to get your shit together before I leave. you have to be this woman that this man needs or else someone will take my love.

Or was Aaliyah talking about soon as she gets home meaning coming inside of me? I think that’s what she meant because since she been here I have been able to handle this business. you can not understand the feeling you get when your better half come back to you and yes I know you never crossed me. I’m sorry I should’ve said status because you are my 101. when you are ready to draw the white flag because of her and in blood code that means war. if it was vice verse it will mean peace because she wanted to be happy inside of me.

18 years strong without any interruption. I told you I will be there. when you told her I was getting money you were right. when I first saw you down south. I walked to the car just to tell you I love you. when you have time in my mind I will express myself through this pen or should I say writing in my notes on my phone. if you didn’t believe me you would’ve left me but I think you knew better and I’m thankful for that. seeing you immediately looked on my wrist to see what date it was to tell you no more.

183rd ya heard so people will have an understanding of what that means and what’s popping. you put the game on your back. I’m talking to you because our Birthday coming up. I hope everything that you have seen when you saw when you first came back home you have. I put blood sweat and tears into this shit. I will never let anyone take this from me. the only way 12 will see me is a body bag. I’m trying to avoid black justice. can’t see me in a can. so I have to think smarter than the average person that’s out here. so I can stay in these streets longer.

You should always be straightforward with someone that you are dealing with. someone that you allow in your space because that person may know all types of secrets about you. you should always understand what friendship means to you and to the person that you are calling your friend because if you don’t boundaries may get crossed and I know you don’t want that. you should always follow your instincts in everything you do because more than likely it will lead you in the right direction. you should always want to be a leader.

Just got off the phone with part of you know who and she told me boo. my guess is she’s talking about two kids hi hi. this is all a part of how it’s goin’ down. you know I like when she hit me and gives me information on her thoughts about where the company at. you can move one block up that’s 151. we got enough girls to last for a lifetime right? it’s about putting more investment in other companies to build more outlets. so we can gain more revenue of income for this organization.

The call I just received will always brighten up my day. when I’m able to see this little young lady growing into a child. seeing her makes me happy and I am willing to do whatever I have to do for as long as I’m able to do it. if the name connects isn’t that something that she was telling me from the beginning? you talk about you want me to be kind-hearted. I hope so because I will be upset if not. isn’t that what you said the last time we talked on the phone do you remember that conversation?

Just got the okay that everything’s okay for tomorrow and that’s really what I wanted from you. you keep your end of the deal and I keep mine. if we promise one another that we will not let anything come between us. I can’t see things going wrong but if they do I have to put my grownup boxes on and move on. isn’t this what you wanted? when I’m thinking I think about the way it can go and I never want something to go left. as for this discussion it should always be in the best interest of our family.

                                                              CHAPTER 197

People want to see other people that are the type of people I need around me. we have to develop trust so we can go where we need to be before we fight think about what you are fighting for. you look at me the way I am and that’s the way I want you to remember me. stepping up makes me feel like a man and you are my woman. you have a piece of my heart and that’s the biggest chunk of it. you are the queens that keep me on my feet. we have to sort out the problem that we may have. we need to listen to one another.

You see things that I wish I could see. this is because you have your eyes open. you are aware of your surroundings, a person that wants to know what’s going on has the upper hand in life. I’m asking you do you want me to stay here with you. I know I made mistakes but I have grown up can you respect that? things you should ask women who have ever been cheated on because if she has her guard up that means she thinks you might not be the one for her. when she let her guard down, she’s letting you take that man position.

The way you speak to the person you love can tell a lot about the person. if you treat her with respect good things will happen for you. if you treat her like she ain’t nothing bad things will happen. the way you handle people is the way God will treat you. if you had anything to do with Jesus dying on the cross. you will reap what you sow. you can’t be out here playing with your life because he has the last plan for your life. I’m just thankful he took his time with me because I needed all of the time he gave me.

You putting your arms around me. this might wake up that spot and I'm getting inside of you. you bet not hold back because you can tell I want you. whoever that is ought to be grateful that I have chosen you. there are a lot of females that would love to be in your place. I see you have your eyes on me. so let me tell you that I’m thinking about making love to you. let the mood flow and have one another connection be there for us. I can’t seem to get you out of my head. thinking about you all day and then I woke up it was a dream.

You always put me in a position where I overcome and I win. it’s because of you but the parting part doesn’t make sense. so let’s never think about that and if it comes to a point where that’s on the table. you know I did nothing just admitting facts that you might have on your mind. the other question yes I did but seven be my favorite number right. so giving you everything then you walk out. if you think that’s going to make a difference because you want me to answer things you have on your mind. the opposite of my guess.

Cupid shot me with an arrow and it took my heart to another level because I need you in my life. people say you may only find love one time in your life. so make it right by the person that loves you back. you turned my life around. I thought no one can replace her but you have shown me that you are willing to be that special person. that I can always depend on. if this is what love feels like then I’m all for it. what does it matter who’s right or wrong? I’m not giving up on this life that we have.

Looking at every girl out here and you wondered why I want you to be the one for me. if I travel the world I want to take you with me. you never know where we will end up. so hold on and enjoy the ride. if I get locked up will you hit the block and continue my business? so you can handle the company business. will you take care of our children and remain faithful? this is why I’m not going to cheat because if times get hard for me. I know I did right by you. so there’s no reason for you to cross me.

I will take it anywhere you let me. how about we do it in the bathroom or the bedroom? we can do it in the car or at your house or a hotel. There are some of the places I’ll give it to you. I’m ready whenever and wherever. I’m always on point baby, you feel me grinding on you. I remember when I was at your house moe that waterbed got on my nerves because it felt like an ocean. the water temperature turns hot to warm and sometimes cold. this is why I had to pop it just watching all of the water leak out of the waterbed.

I told y’all soon as I get home things were going to change for the better. I remember when the relief burns me in my right eye. mystic saw me on the block and bend down and asked me what happened. I told her I got burned in my eye and then she said are you okay and I said yeah. as I got older I remember breaking my arm in a shape of a u. if you don’t know what that means in blood code black and for those that don’t know what that means universal. that means everyone under one nation is under this umbrella.

What will you do with your time will you give it to me? if so I’m well worth it because I’m a stand-up kind of guy. yes I want to be with you. you are that part of my life that I never want to disappear because keeping you right next to me. helps me stay on my job feel me. people may ask how strong you are and I tell them stronger than some of y’all. before this life ends I want to tell you I love you. you will never understand how much I respect you. your mind I know is filled with passion and I want it to rub off on me.

                                                             CHAPTER 198

Tell me what you are looking for a man that’s always in these streets or a man that takes family seriously. one that learned from the older hustlers and gangsters. but that’s not the direction I’m going in. so passing around females are the ones that I try to stay away from and I’m not taking shots at anyone. I want her to only let me go inside. so when I enter she will scream my name if it’s mined and only mine. yeah, she could be telling me it’s mine but it could be everybodys. she knows about all of the drugs she got receipts about my whereabouts.

Yeah being this person that wants better for himself may make people uncomfortable. forget all of the name-callings because I’m not for all of that. please Aaliyah help me continue on this path without worrying about any females. this is why you gave me yourself. so I wouldn’t have to worry about another female. all of the problems I have people only see what we show them because you can only let fear be the problem. yeah, she’s the one yeah she covers me and yeah I love her.

My name noonsay getting to the bag. you can have the best heart and people will fuck over you. I have seen it first hand so this is why I’m watching everything moving because if he set you up he lives on. if you kill somebody you have to go to jail because ninjas talk. the way shit is going I can’t afford it too many people depend on me. it’s about who can stay in these streets the longest before 12 comes to pick you up. break the name down dam I’m telling you we're up and it has been a hard road. you have to break the half.

Sometimes I feel like I got the short end of the stick because I miss you. this music means everything to you this is why I’m going so hard cause I know this is what you wanted. so your thoughts will live through my pen just make sure you continue to give me things to write about. so far so good keep up the excellent work. two people making this happen is better then one. the connection we have is a connection spiritually. if I have the human being dot on my hand. this is the hand that you hold onto forever.