BOOK 1-2

 CHAPTER 37 

    The drug game is not always the same. Many people are telling the 12 on them to get involved. I am trying to turn my business into a corporation. That is how I am washing my money who worked for ten years as a doctor. That is where the money was coming from. I look forward to the dog coming out of the cage. I have worked for my people. I know from where they came. I would not say that until they prevent the money from coming in. This is the shit that's down there. Fighting for the bigger picture, I always said that.

    It would be best if you were on your best behavior. You do all of the things that get me hot. I cannot help but get myself undressed. Will you take off your clothes, both of us without clothes on. The paint on our bodies takes all these pictures for us to remember this time. This makes sense, but I am willing to do this for you. How many colors do you love or fall in love with? My favorite colors will always be red or green. Colors are seen as full of grace; the only way is for the sake of money. Kings are willing to do everything for you. You have to let it come to you.

    I want to climb on top of you. It is because of how your body moves whenever you see me. I hope that I have responded to all your thoughts. As you can see, there is nothing I have ever kept hidden from you. You are my queen. So act like it. You make me feel like you are what I need. Everything we have been through with this young man is loyal. Why are things so hard for us to get back together? I will contact you for something to watch. You wiggle your ass and move from side to side. Because of how you move, we could have kids. The only way to do that is to love me.

    When you were out of town trying to handle business, this girl from gangster paradise came down south. She knew what she was doing. She was trying to get a young ninja out of his game. As if sex would keep me from looking after my family. I knew the game and knew it well. It was seven or nothing in a 45-minute run. Getting caught up in that did not mean anything to me. Once you had found your girl, you would do whatever you could for her. Coming back was a must because you wanted to show that you were here for her. I was not confused about this shit. The game was still highly doubtful. If she was 100 percent, she would be good to me.

    I was traveling in and out of the states. I made it hard. Nevertheless, I was handling my business out there to get this shit right. When you would be deep in these streets, you might ask how much coke a young ninja needs. It was all that I could get from the connection. I was handling business for so long. The connection told me that I had not needed to send money. Now, what you know about getting bricks on the muscle causes. You had been a real ninja all of your life and fucking with damu’s. It would not fail because I got to hold it down for my beloved when I was in these streets. The feds wanted the kid.

    I hope these hitches have their money. It is because I am not coming out until I need to. I do not give a fuck. Sitting here, I look at everything that goes on. However, I am not ready to start this business. Maybe I will wait until I am ready. Have I said 2028, which means I am going to be 46? This game cannot respect a ninja until you find one that does not want a party. Other races of women are working females who are at home with their kids. Please do not say it is me because all they want to do is hang out one day with one child. That is a lie and never forget it. These girls are having sex with everybody. I can not imagine that I am running after another man. Nevertheless, these hitches are constantly popping their sex.

    There is no way a young man can win when there are many differences between men and women. You can hope for the best but is that something you want. The changes I need to make in my life can be so hard. Nevertheless, I am willing to do it very soon. You know that I take care of everyone. At least, I try my best. A female is going to do what a female wants to do. You cannot stop that. Money is always fair. Perhaps I can speak against it. I grind and hustle for everything I own. It is because I will be damn if I let anyone take that from me. It is already complicated as it is. There is no need to make it harder.

    You always want to live your life in the right way. You can direct a person to where you want them to be. Nevertheless, that is not always what a person wants. Many things have to change. One of them is whomever I am involved with. These days, women use men for what they can do with them. Taking care of a woman is something I am willing to do. Even so, not the one who wants everything and gives nothing. This has to be a 50/50 relationship if this relationship is going to work. This will probably be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. However, I cannot walk out as long as my daughter has everything she likes. She will get it.

    When you select a few, many will follow. If you are a good leader, your soldier cannot be fucked with. Everything you learn is for a reason. Try to remain focused through all of the bullshit. Keep holding on. Take one day at a time. You have to know how to balance yourself, which means work time, playtime, and business time. Nobody and I mean nobody, will take care of your business as you do. Would you like your business to do the best it can? So stay on your grind. Many things will happen to you in the future.

    When you learn a lesson, you should carry that lesson with you for the rest of your life. Being in the streets always has its pros and cons. Trying to stay basic can be complicated. Nevertheless, there is much on the line. People take others for granted all the time. Trying to live someone else's life is not correct. Trying to keep this company above water can be so hard. The best thing for me to do is block out all of the negative thinking. I bet others are not, but what is wrong with us. Nobody knows how to strengthen themselves.

    That is how you like to be next to one another. It is hard to be without you. How can we meet again, holding your hands at night during the discussion? The game does not change. It already has so many changes that we have to go through. Only if one knew how she feels, the thought of changing up makes me feel so wonderful. The last time we talked, about how our love can be much more. When you get to know somebody, you keep them around you. The game has changed. Women are the ones with the most oversized pockets. Who knows if I do or not.

    When do you ask yourself what your female always does? Maybe it is time for you to move on if she is partying with other men. Hanging out all night in clubs, or is she that woman who respects herself. It all depends on what kind of life she wants. I cannot allow women to do whatever they want. Nevertheless, I prefer them to respect one another. That is the kind of woman I am looking for. I know that motherhood is a difficult job. Moreover, they also look after our beautiful children. Sons mean everything to me. Keep up the good work, ladies. Good men always appreciate it.

    Let me stop playing. You know that you mean everything to me. I do not know whether I should start clubbing or partying, or hanging out with my friends. What I would like to do is to keep working. Make that business the best it can be. I do my best to avoid worrying about what a woman does. I know you do not waste your time. I want to make sure that we both want that. If you want anything else, you can always get out of here. I am not saying this to make you angry. I am trying to figure out where our relationship is right now.

    How can I make sure both of us have the best life we always wanted? You can take your time. It would be best if you tried to handle the business at hand. You strive for what you believe in. You do not let someone force you to do something that you do not want to do. You should always keep your head up. There are other ways you and your family can take care of yourself. Make sure you take your time, do not rush, and pace yourself. Eventually, things are going to happen. Stay true to your family. Please be sure to think about your family before you do something terrible because it will hurt your family.

    When you have a woman in mind, life may still go to the left. It's up to you whether you want to make it right with her. You buy flowers, cards, candy, clothes, diamonds, and houses. If you are not faithful, those do not mean anything. A woman wants a man who can be passionate. The one who takes her to lunch or a movie. Everything above means everything because it is the thought that counts as love. You have something special with your wife, and do not ever take it for granted.

    Sweetheart, the moment of my life was when I was with you, the thought of giving upon us. I cannot get it off my mind. How would I make you stay in my life? We need one another. I cannot go on without you in my life. Everyone says that she cheats. Whom am I supposed to believe? You make me so sick and happy at the same time. Call me if you need anything. I will be there for the long run. Trust me to hold back for the future of your life. We protect ourselves. I have to ask if you want to walk out.

    Once you left, you broke my heart. You took the kids, and the kids are my world. What do I have to do to be part of your life? I miss you so much, baby. Do you mind if we talk? She said, not at the moment. What did I get myself into now? I know it will be hard to be forgiven. I know the kids are missing me, too. How does life go on without you by my side? I got nothing but memories of crying at night. It hurt me so much. Nevertheless, I know I need to get up and become the man that you loved.

    Come back to my life. Yes, I want to make it happen. How are you doing in your relationship? I guess she had it up to here with me cheating. No one knows about my cheating. I am still trying to be a better man for you. Yes, I made that bed, and I am going to bed there without you. I am supposed to be with you right now. I am afraid this is unfair. My body feels different because of trust going inside of someone else. My dots are connected to you after giving you eternal life. I do not want to hurt another person because you make me feel special. I cannot deny that.

    Females are doing their thing. I wish you would never let me down. I hold you so high above the ground. This is why I choose you to be with me. Every call I receive from you, I know what you will say before you say it. All you need to do is call me, and I will be here. Again, we can start being a family. Nobody makes me feel that way except you. You are the center of my attention. When I walk, you walk. When I speak, you speak too. That is the type of girl I need in my life. The only life I have left to live. I also have eternal life. Then yes, I shall be back on earth. In 3,017, with my head held high. Then I have to find some other girl.

    It all depends on you whether a woman can destroy you or not. Let her do it, or let her be loyal to you. It is the shit that I hate. My grandmother said never to use this word. I am miserable without you in all my life. I want to know if it puts an end to our relationship. I cannot keep this up. I want to know if you will take me back. We have been through ups and downs. It is hard and painful and feels like death. Yes, I am here to hear from you. Let us talk about that and try one more time.

                                                        CHAPTER 38

    The idea of settling in can be tricky for someone who has never had an affair with a girl. I let her know that I am not ready. She replies to me about what I am waiting for. I say that we have a lifetime to live together. Why do we need to be so rushed? She says that we are not getting any younger. As time passes, we are only getting older. So why can't we settle down now? The thought of being tied down to one woman can be so hard. I do not want you to go through every cheating that a man can do to a woman if she is not ready to settle down.

    I am trying to put the words together to explain my thought to understand your necessity in my life. I am trying to balance the time so that we may spend it together. This effort ensures that we are both connected in all sorts of ways. We are helping each other to stay on the same path. We also try always to be mindful of what is essential in life. Such as sharing, complementarity, and mutual support for our partner's needs. I am taking time out to talk things through. Be attentive to everything that happens in our life. These little things contribute so much more to a relationship.

    How can anyone be strong in everything that happens in my life? You have to be strong if you want your life to continue on the right track. You do not always find someone you care about. So it would help if you took your time with the proper relationship that you have with that person. If she means everything to you, let her know that. Doing things that she has never done to herself in a strong relationship means trusting your life between you and her. Try to remain focused on trust. Everything else will fall into place.

    It has been so long since we talked. I miss every word that you use to tell me. You handled many things for me. I know your soul is still here on this earth. We both care about our little girl, Layla. I hope you hear what I have to say. I love you so much. I cannot wait until I see you again. I am looking for another mother for you. It was tough, but for the sake of watching this girl. Maybe she wants that responsibility. It takes a lot to raise a child. I wonder if she is up for the challenge-15 years since it was rocking the boat. Tomorrow will be15 years, and I will be 15 years old. On the days of the season, we worked so hard to make things right that it means 45. What do these hitches want?

    Gershom was the first child of Moses. Eliezer was the second son. Could he possibly have two male souls within him? Yes, he did. The diamond on his hand depicts the world for him, the love of his life. Am I the divine body? What kind of power do I have? I can remember playing in your soul for three and a half years. Let me rid myself of that. The vibrations we had, I wish I could pick them up. I know the slashes are still going on. On the seventeenth slash, the cross goes on your back and tells me why I cannot feel it. Maybe because I do not have the right temple and sex, my soul slashes it.

    My mind is made up. I want to go to heaven faithful unless there is a girl that can change my mind. I know Layla needs me. She and I want to see you. The wait is real without you. I need you by my side. I want to hear you say that you love me. I never touched anyone since you have gone above. It feels like the 13 ghosts how you used to talk to me back in the days. I miss that. I hope you understand what I am going through. I am trying to continue life without you. If no one believes me, how are these words coming together then?

    You need to know that times have changed in our lives. It has changed for the better. Why does it take so long for us to understand that we need to be together? It will take us a long time to accomplish all that we wish to accomplish. It should not take so much time to conquer the world. I need the right woman with me by taking our time to get to know us better. I know how to protect my partner at all times. I need everything to remain faithful. It is something I would love to do to show you that I care about you.

    When it is all or nothing, you do the first thing that comes to your mind. Many people expect you to do the best you can. People want to see that you are doing better than in the past. People do not always want the wrong elements of a person to show up. You can do well in an awkward situation. It depends on how you handle it when you have it. Lots of people take the bad one with the good one. That is good, but what if there is nothing terrible in the situation? Everything can’t be good all of the time. That is what life is all about.

    When you want somebody, what do you do if they go on to something else? You find a way to get up and go on without her. The good thing about knowing other women is that you have the advantage over everything you experience. You wonder if I find the girl I love or do her thing with other men. Am I left in the dark? The way people play it is hard to figure it out. It is hard for you to fall out of love when you want something to work. Just stand there and take whatever you need.

    What else can I tell you that time without you is the hardest part of our relationship? I want to dig deeper when you speak of me. Have you said to your friends that you want me? Can we dance all night? I would never let you leave without telling you that I love you. I want to get in my groove, seeing you. You know what I feel like doing to you, babe. Please do not go anywhere. I cling to what is mine, kissing and loving your body, separating me from having said that. My heart knows how I feel when I stand beside you.

    The pages I take from the book of God, or should I say the Bible, are many that you need to make. When you are under God’s watch, you cannot let him down. You have to live by His rules. It is easy to do when you want to live a healthy life. Every day matters when one is older. You learn so much when you are honest. The truth is the best way to live daily life. This will help you navigate this difficult period. Never let anybody take your joy from you. Please stand up and face whatever it is you did.

    Well, where do we start? I will let you know when one of us slept with anyone else. Noah passed away with six friends. The seventh came from her. Let me break this down. This means that it is open for seven more to come within me. I know you got a baby, wondering who the father of your baby is. I am not saying this to upset anybody. It is the way the story goes. You and your sisters know how you feel about things. Yes, I love you. Thanks for having another child that I can call mine.

    Jadakiss gave up that joint after he got all that money. How many keys are arriving in the US? I do not give a fuck what ninjas think. It would be best if you fell back. That is what you are talking about. Nevertheless, you say this to me for what. I would continue to get that money if you were not aware that this is the best way to connect with people. I am running this business. He is telling me to stay on my job and to stay focused. When you get the connection cocaine, pay them what they requested. Never leave the connection hanging. I never robbed the connection. That is why I have what I want from these people. Please do not go out of your way. Nevertheless, you get your money, take it.

    She says it is either better or worse. Why do I believe anything that she tells me? The only way to ensure this happens is to do the right thing all the time, but not sometimes. You have to believe in what you do to make that work. Doing the best you can consistently demonstrate the good in what you do. Take things step by step, day by day, and hour by hour. Then everything will get better. All right, I promise it. There is no need to explain what is understood.

    Even when you think things will go wrong, you stay on the right path no matter what happens. You have to learn from your mistakes. You do so by making many mistakes. That is a part of life. It is one thing to be afraid and the other to be courageous. It is up to you to choose the person you want to be. Jesus, get me away from this pain if you do not give me the strength to move on. I miss all of you who are not with us anymore. The way she does things makes me want to do it. You seem to be my only hope that this has been going on forever. What do I have to do to make it up to you?

    Women cheat most of the time. Those who think differently are crazies. That is why I never give my heart to anybody. She never gave me that look. I will tell the one that betrayed me. This day will come when I stop working for you. If that is not one thing, that is something else. There are a lot of cute girls on the web. The only thing is how do I talk to all of them. When you think about me, do you think about dating? Babe, I am here thinking of changing the entire seven.

    The way you make me feel is more of a feeling. I do not ever want to leave this place. What part of the game goes everything because I own the address at hand. Whoever is with me, I will have everything when the time comes. When this shit goes down, the ladies in my life will take care of it. Hi, center the seven is my daughter because if you can have the key to my life. Being Hebrew means that the point of Moses is open due to what my soul partner has done for me.

    The way life is designed, people need each other more to support each other. Self-assertion is a daily reality. You have to want the best out there. I have to focus on my family, the ones that are here for me. When you help others, blessings will always come your way. That is why I make it suitable. People say karma goes around and comes back around. I do my best not to hurt others to keep karma coming back to me. I want to live my life the best way possible. It means taking care of other people.

    It is only one way to live, and that is the right way. Getting whatever I want is an understatement. Accomplishing everything I want now is something I have to work hard on. Nobody is going to give me anything. If I want something, I have to fight for it. It is all about patience. You have to work on it every day of your life to achieve your goals. Yes, you have to put money and hard work into it. That is the only way you are going to succeed here. You have to get a strong team behind you and go straight to work.

    The person inside of you means everything to me. Baby, how can we both help each other more? That had been the moment in my life. However, there is only one me and many of you. I always speak from my heart. Please do not lose everything you have achieved over some bullshit. You decide how you will respond. I expect you to respond in the best possible manner. All happened for a reason. God brings the right people into your life when you will need them most. All this time, you must wait to find one of the many ladies to enter your life and be loyal to you.

                                                           CHAPTER 39

    How can someone you love be the same who hurts you, ladies? There are many girls out there. I see them all the time, but no one compares them to you. I need somebody to be the owner of that business with me. He who knows how to handle business. A person who fights for what she believes in. Are you that person? I have no idea. You must show me that you are the one who is meant for me. Then you will be my girlfriend, the best friend of a man. I am going to be held back when times get better and times get tough. Working with the same person you love might be a hell of a break.

    Do not allow time to pass. At the same time, I am doing great. I know you are doing great for yourself. When we are close to one another, my heart stands still with our love.  An increasing fear is on my plate. This man stood up and became all that you could want. You cannot avoid each other all your life. If you want something that bad, maybe it is not there for you. Since you are here for her, you may ask me what is happening in my mind. Baby, it is about you and me getting back together.

    It would be helpful for you to be prepared for all that life has in store for you. Nevertheless, you were not. So you have to live life out until it changes and gets better. That is a lot to learn from the game when you miss somebody—knowing that she lives through you. How can you make your life easier? She will tell me at the appropriate time. How long will you have to wait? It is becoming out of control. I am grateful to God for blessing me with this point on my hand. My family asked me if I could get through the rain or not. Maybe it’s all up to Jesus.                                                                         

    The more I think of you, the more I become upset. It is because you walked out of my life. That is all I am talking about. I never thought about that when I hurt you. I am nothing without your love. You are the love of my life. I am trying to keep it together for the sake of our kids. I want you back in my life. Trust me. It is not easy living this life as you did for me. It is exciting to go to bed alone. I look forward to having you back in my life. My mind is fucked up. So I get confused over everything in the world.

    If I had one wish, what would it be? I want to bring back someone in particular who was in my life. Without her, none of this matters to me. Never seeing her again can be challenging. Knowing that someone can take her place helps to alleviate pain. In other words, it makes me feel better to continue with what we call life. Just looking at this, it looks like our family has got a bright future. I should not have to take from you to give to another person. That is not the way I get down. When you work hard, accomplishments come with it.

    Baby, I am here with you forever in the world of life itself. I need you to cover me and hold me tight. You shine as the stars, moonlight at night. Our relationship must be sound for better or for worse. I am thinking of you at the moment. Still, now, I cannot picture my life without you by my side. I am fighting all those temptations that life has within it. I feel like I am lying next to you talking about our lives. I miss you so much. Our child understands how important you are to me. Hopefully, this young lady wants to step up and take over being your mother. Let us agree.

    I want to give you everything about myself. Do you want me to give it all to you? In the bed, I want to rock the bed from front to back and side to side. All this love goes to you. This is how it started. I met her at the strip club, throwing all of my money at her. The lap dance was unique. Yes, I rocked the rock. Did you feel it in my pant? You kissed me on the neck. Now, after going back to bed, my hands were over your body, holding your thick thighs. Your ass was phat. However, you stay on my mind 24/7. I dream about it the whole night.

    The thought of moving forward with her helps to strengthen a person. A woman makes a man strong. He can deal with whatever life throws at him. You cannot change the world. Nonetheless, if you change yourself, you have done your work. Being able to engage in whatever you want to do and do it powerfully. It takes a lot out of a man. A female will guide you in the right direction. She can help you be that strong, like a powerful black man you need to be out here.

    The best part of life is waking up to you. We barely get upset with one another. We barely fight with each other anymore. I do not know why that happened. Let me guess that I have stopped cheating. I stopped hanging out all night. I am more into this relationship than I am in the streets nowadays. It is more painful seeing you go through what I put you through. It is not as crazy as you think. I take care of everything I should have done long ago. I do not want to see you cry anymore.

    My world is turning upside down. You are supposed to protect me, as I protect you. I promise to get myself right. I have to do the right thing on the right path. Honey, trust me when I tell you that I love you. I have a human heart. I feel good about being in your life. Let us start over. A new beginning might be the best way to continue this relationship. The reason I let out all my feelings is that I care about you. It is impressive. Yes, I enjoy long walks in the park. Coming home to a home-cooked meal makes a man feel special.

    I am back to this gangster shit. Falling in love with anything makes you look foolish. If you do not want those guns to go off, relax. I am writing this to tell the young men. It is not the right path. You do not want to spend the rest of your life in black justice. However, speedy Cash is not always good. A ninja-like me likes to have slower money. You will get the bailout money. Waiting for a good time to tell the streets is no longer what they used to be. The ninjas are going to be locked up fast. How is that, unless you are a teller. The ninjas have been asking me since the beginning. Why am I not out here on these streets with them? I need to say more.

    As soon as you realize you need some time alone. I mean, your trust in someone goes away. The idea is to keep someone who does not want to be in a relationship with your wounds. You have to stay positive through all the shit. It is always good to accomplish your goals with someone, not knowing where things would end. It is the same as knowing hope. Times can get hard trying to figure out what you want out of life. As long as you stay strong enough to follow your heart, it should all work out.

    Stand right there, that's where the light hits your body. When you called it off. The light got darker. My ups turned into downs, baby is there a little hope for us. When you see me do you see the man that's in your life for eternity. Yes, baby let's make this last forever. I will get up no matter what time it is, gets up to come to your rescue, that's what a man does for his lady, no matter what she's going through. The only way I'm not coming to your site is if you are cheating on me, falling out of love may be hard but if this relationship isn't meant to work so be it.

    The life we live brings me to this question, how many girls I got to go through before I find the right one. That I can give my all too, growing up with a lot on my plate. Showing that I can be a man, whether we get married or just a couple it doesn't matter to me. When my heart beats hopefully it's connected to your heartbeat. Elijah the best is yet to come trust me, in my own way I would like to say I'm sorry for all that was done to you, as I sit here listening to music while playing with my life. Please God keep me in your prayers.

    When your heart is in a bad situation, how can you get the heart out of that? I remember being with girls back in the days, it was too many trying to keep all of them safe. I'm talking about when I live on 151. Please I don't get it, coming out to play because of what happened to you, going from house to house to be with all of y’all, hanging out oh God I miss that. Being a teenager and everything stopped, I'm trying to keep sane for the sake of this relationship, holding my head high up in the sky. Looking inside the clouds.

    The best days are yet to come. Being patient means the world in a relationship. When you try so hard to make it work. The two people that are in this relationship fight for it to work, all day every day but it's falling apart. How can you and her keep it on the right track? You never know what to expect from the women that you hold tight, thinking about all of the shit. I went through to be in your life, the number one rule is trust. If you have that everything else falls into place. When you are having a bad day you never take it out on the person that's in this relationship with you.

    The belly of the beast. When you make the type of moves that this young man makes, you can call yourself a murderer, S.M.M. Until the day this man rests up. Have you ever wondered why blood wants to lay five feet underground? This dot on my hand is five popping, making moves like never before. When you have a lot of connections you get what you want from the connection. Please don't ask me why I'm still in these streets, yeah I'm trying to get out but it takes time. I'm willing to wait for that day to come, but for now, catch me handling business never forget that.

    When you put your all into something. It may not go the way you want it, but sometimes it crosses my mind, hanging out with my friends. Who knows I might meet a girl that's a friend. Work all day and no play can take a toll on you. Sometimes it leaves a man 801 for those that don't know what that means stress. When it comes down to it I miss you. Trying to find someone to replace you is so hard. Maybe going out I can find one or are all girls chasing the money. You can never tell because of what you see on a day-to-day basis. When you settle down after a while. The breakup comes and she wants everything.

    Cocaine is about to come over here. So be ready I'm telling y’all get money. Never watch what other ninjas are doing, stack your pockets. My mind makes moves like never before, just because I'm not in the streets doesn't mean the people that work for me can't hear me when you are home, yes working so my business can go far. Imagine what I could do if I wanted to open my own company. There's a lot of shady shit going on, I have to fall back and observe everything and then I will determine who can get down with me.

    Moving around handling business. I sent the cross just now. Whoever felt that I'm going to keep in touch with our life. This connection that we shared means the world to me. 4-page letter four-leaf clover needs I say anymore. The dots that shorty send threw my body, she over here slashing me as I write this verse. The feeling she gives me, throwing up 031 yes it went through. Nowadays you gotta watch ninjas close, and never let your day1's down. We got this money, everybody moving in their kind of way, soldiers to the fullest.