BOOK 14
CHAPTER 208
Solidified I had to earn my spot in these streets but people want to claim that their blood. no, I didn’t get jumped in no I didn’t murder someone but the triple five speaks for itself call me sex money murda, and my buzzing the murderer. if it would’ve gone down on the left side I wouldn’t be here right now and later on in my life Aaliyah reminded me and slash me. I mean nip me on my right cheek closer to the right eye. falling down the steps in my buzzing building slashing my right eye and that’s where Diddy got red eye and X said right eye.
Copacetic if you follow the rules in the order it was given to you. you can overcome the problem that you have. whether that be with a girl that you like, you have to follow the signs that she uses and if she shows interest and entrance by letting you in the door of her heart. She will directly show you how she feels, you have to know how to follow signs. she wants you to pick up on the signs that she throws at you. In other words, do you approach her and tell her how you feel? I’m never one to brag but my shorty is fine.
Consistency over a time length you will be able to settle down and be with your family but for now I’m pretty sure my family wants to read more poems from me and that’s exactly what I am going to give them. looking back I didn’t think it was going to be like this but my family did. they believed in me and I’m grateful for them having my back. when you do right by your children and their mothers God will bless you facts. if you don’t care about your family you will have nothing.
Accusation where do people get off thinking what I have built they have built? when empire came out people said the show was talking about them. the money in Rocafella this person can’t get it out of his head. the reason it came to an end is because I came back home. looking at it when I returned to NYC it ended. so please stop saying what you built and who you put on. looking at the outcome this is the reason I’m in control but I’m not mad about her presence being with me now and trust me she knew what she was doing.
Pioneer to find yourself and I know it’s an area but I’m using it to find yourself. when you look inside yourself what do you see? if the company is yours fight for it is what she told me and I’m putting in the work to reclaim this company. so far everything’s good but it needs to get even better and with hard work that can happen. you know your speed so don’t rush take your time with building this business. never rush something that takes a long time because, in the long run, the company will be successful.
Evolve when you are growing things start to change in your life like the no-good people. you keep the people that want to see you doing better. from this standpoint, you have to level up to become a better person for your family. you can’t be trapped in the street life because at the end of the day that will get you nowhere trust me. you can’t retire in the streets. people that you had beef with your children will inherit that beef and the cycle continue. you have to be the one that stops that from happening.
Coincidence if something keeps happening you have to form some kind of understanding about what’s going on in your life. seek for the truth and never stop until you find it. enter your soul into places that make you uncomfortable because that will bring out the comfort in you. it’s strange to know someone you never met right? yes, but is it okay to never have any this person is just food for thought. she knows where her man stands and what’s right with her. this will never stop until I’m prepared to pause it.
When you invite someone into your space that becomes y’all space. so know who you are letting next to you from here on. discovery is a must about yourself. you can find out new things about yourself every day of your life. the part about staying the same person you were when you were young is an absolute no-no. Find out different people and how people act and show their self to you. please don’t take this out of context just know your surroundings all of the time. people around you can change at the drop of a dime feel me.
I’m trying to find a place in my heart where I care about people that don’t care about me. I have to be the bigger person and find out what was the problem. when I find out I can address the problem at hand. people didn’t like me for whatever reason I never took off of my plate but people seem to always want something on my plate. I guess that's just how it goes or should I say people being selfish. the outcome is remarkable for me. people wanting to sign to my company people that you wouldn’t believe would’ve years ago. I guess this is an improvement.
You have to let yourself be free to explore the world. I know what having an opportunity feels like. if you will like to work be my guess just make sure you have the right people around you. when you are making your moves, situations do get crazy out here and I want you to know I will always have your back just respect me and I will respect you. that’s something that will keep the relationship we have together am I right? if you disagree let me know and tell me another way to respect ourselves in the right manner. I’m just standing up for us.
CHAPTER 209
The body is empowering. you should love who you are with because she has to live with you. I don’t want to rush this relationship. you are so spoiled thinking about my next move. are you saying you are not giving up on me? this strong woman has my heart. I think you need to stay pretty and show how you look. it’s a double standard and I appreciate the way you handle me handling my business. just in case you need to know, I just want you to respect yourself out here. the bottom line stay being a woman of God because a real man will look at you.
What does it take to fall in love with positive women? what you put into a relationship that’s just what you are going to get out of it. both sides play games until you find that one special lady. I’m here without you but she’s inside of me. She wants me to work so I can fulfill my goals. trust me I can’t change her mind her head is in this book. I’m the one that she walks with. so I have to think about her feelings. there’s more work to do and I’m into this book. the guidance that she brings inside of my heart.
The opportunity presented itself with a question that I always wanted to ask. so I asked if was it a problem when I was helping her out and my mother said know it wasn’t a problem. if someone needed to be taken care of. she said she was all for it. the thought of providing for another human being was great because I knew the blessings will be much greater in due time and then my beads Popped is this a sign from Aaliyah's double-mint twins? if this is true God bless you and if not maybe I’m too far into you.
Looking through my eyes you can't possibly see what I see. if you lived my life you would understand what I’m going through. being sick and I’m not talking about a cold or a headache. the sickness that bothers your mind. so I have to be extra careful out here. this is why I ask you to watch me because I can’t know I will not put this on someone that can’t handle me. he put me in this situation for a reason. he wanted me to meet the devil. that’s a deep thought but coming back to God is what I did and I know he’s proud of me.
The run I have had is a blessing. I haven’t had writer's block yet because of my mind-like this feeling. the feeling that the ladies in my life keep me in good spirits. this is the reason I’m able to continue to write these poems. I also want to thank God for blessing me with this mind. I don’t talk much because I learned if you open your mouth it can get you in trouble. being out of town you needed to keep your mouth shut or else something will happen to you. when I was taking trips in and out of town I was thinking about you all of the time.
Satan is working every day. you have to stand up against him because if he gets your mind. there’s no coming back from that. the only way you can avoid him is by taking care of your family. he doesn’t want you to take care of the love of your life and if she used you it will show. the way she looks at me is a way that know other females look at me. come closer I want to show you something as she gets close to me. I kissed her on the cheek to let her know I never cheated trust me and in due time we will travel the world.
Insanity the thought of being with this mean I have to take care of the way I think because one wrong thought can send me back into a depression. the reason I’m good and doing excellent is because of my family. getting back to where I needed to be meant the world to me. my head is in the right state and I need to stay on this path. what hurt the most is a female that didn’t trust me. look like the switch is there. so we need to carry on with our life right. being this successful means my children will grow up knowing that I did everything for them.
Traumatize when I went through the triple five slashing me in my temple. I thought I was going to die but guess what God had a plan for me to accomplish bringing my dot to life and now it moves inside of my body. I had a lot of accidents when I was young and a couple when I was older. two for example both arms have a bullet scrape on them in the form of a cross but I like to say status. Trying to find out how the dot works that’s in my hand was hard but then one day I went to heaven and hell at the same time.
Contrary if a person has the opposite thought process as you. you have to get rid of them. you can’t be on a positive action and he’s or they on a negative action. you have to keep people around you that won’t put you in trouble or in harm's way. you have to have people around you that care about your well-being because if you don’t you can get locked up because you are the boss. you have to have some kind of structure in your life to guide you on the right path.
Prosperity is to be in a state of attention knowing where you want to end up. leading by example guiding your people in the right direction even if it means you losing your life. you have to be an outlaw sometimes and especially for your family. never taking no for an answer, figuring out a way for you to be victorious and different from everyone else. you have to pretend you don’t know much but remain smart in the mind. the way you figure out problems is called problem solving and it’s the winning way. so you can overcome your fear.
CHAPTER 210
Despite all that I have been through I’m still a man at the end of the day and me wanting a strong female by my side is something that I deserve. take a look at it from my point of view and you will see that being a player is getting old because you need someone to settle down with. the question remains are you that special lady? the love is there and the care I showed you. it doesn’t matter what time or when you call I’m there right? you have to lift your partner and make her believe that your heart is hers.
Me giving you everything shouldn’t define who I am in the sense of spending time and energy into this life. yeah, I can get confused sometimes because I’m trying to understand what is it that you are telling me. people may say I tricked but what you went through was something that I went through too and my guess is God put me in this position because he knew I knew what it felt like with nothing. so my karma was a good one and I did it look at the blessing you have brought me to guide someone you had to go through it past tense.
Sometimes I feel I got to get away. this is another one of you telling me the connection was five years back good 036. you know exactly what I’m going through and when I’m going through it. you can’t disrespect other flags because this is the time when we are coming together right, east, west, south, and north side. what is it hitting for keep watching me because like I said you may see things that I don’t see? you know I went with my gut with figuring out what you want out of life.
What if I decide to go out and party one night? Do you think I’ll be hooked and want that part of my life back let’s think about this for a minute. if you have my heart it doesn’t matter I’m not looking for anyone else. I’m thinking about going out for a drink. I think that’s just valentines’ day getting to me. I hope you don’t let that go over your head. yeah, I’m taking jabs at you. please keep your head leveled for me. focus is the key to a relationship right? let me ease up on you and lay down next to you.
Ether you put your all into your music or don’t write at all. trying to sum this up into words that you can understand. what you know about writing every second of the day. you get so used to writing your love for writing gets deeper. please don’t let anyone take that from you. you know you are gifted when you can write all of the time. this is what makes you prolific because you can write at any time. find your gift then put your mind to it and never listen to someone that says it can’t happen.
You have to follow the pattern and always know this is what she’s thinking. like I said you keep me on my toes. who else is going to tell me what to use? when I’m writing these songs. my heart makeup was heartfelt and hopefully, you agree with me. if you start something you should always finish it. this is what I am doing. I want you to know you are the clue to my life. if you are 3 years older than me and we end it off with Jesus Christ and Moses' mother letting him cross the sea. that means yes you are the mother of me.
So one day going to this female house and she always bluffing right. peep how she does it. things that I told her she used against me and wasn’t ready to lay down and exchange body fluid. so I’m asking myself who is scared of who and she can’t say it wasn’t her. okay, she show me things that I could’ve taken advantage of but I didn’t because I needed her to trust me. I could’ve easily said if you don’t do this I’m not giving you that but I’m the type of person that wants to see where it is going to go. meaning how far in a relationship.
When you feel like you are enthusiastic about the way she treats you. you feel like this is too good to be true but she keeps showing you over and over again that she loves you. excuse me for not writing all of that gangster shit. I’m not doing that part anymore. my life has changed for the better. I’m going to tell her how I feel and that means whoever’s in my life. you mean the world to me, if this is the path that I’m into right now so be it. bleek once said if you have the females on your side you will sell and men will buy it because that’s what they want to listen to.
You should always believe in yourself because if you don’t believe in yourself no one will. please try not to get off of your grind. you have to work every day to make it work. God hears your prayer and he will bless you. you just have to believe. it may not happen as soon as you want it to. you have to stick to your plan and also have a backup plan. you have to take chances and you can’t be afraid to put your life on the line for what you want then he will see that you are serious.
I remember your mother telling me that you said I’m too short isn’t that words that Aaliyah used in one of her songs? I’m trying to avoid using you and her in the same paragraph because I have found out for sure if you are her. what I just put up says what people may see but I’m not getting into it. I’m just trying to find closure in my life but why would the government say that if it wasn’t true ain’t that something that I was hinting at? anyone to grab her power is a strong woman.
CHAPTER 211
You have to suck it up and move on it was all part of a plan that she had. how disrespectful you are saying that bull shit out of your mouth. you can’t be saying this to sell something can you or am I getting to you because she’s safe body hers and soul mine? if you knew her you would’ve known that she had a child but I guess you didn’t know that now did you. you talking in front of your wife for life. I will appreciate you stop bringing up my shorty because I have a child by her.
Where does she think she can hide things from me? I got my eyes on you, one slip and you know what happens right? if you think you can get away from me that easy you have another thing coming. I’m at places you wouldn’t imagine I’m at. so watch what you do and if this comes to light. I’m just playing as long as it is business I’m with it. you do what you think is respecting us as one. you look into this man's eyes and you will see I’m for you. there are a lot of females out here as well as a lot of men.
When you pass by a woman that you want how can you approach her? like this hi how are you what is your name and do you have a boyfriend if not can I take your number down? if she smiles you are in so continue to talk to her. you have to enlighten her if she asks how old are you and you tell her. never ask her how old she is until she tells you. ask her if you can take her out on a date to the movies or out to eat. if she says yes you're in but some females play games keeping their options open. meaning having more than one man.
I want to give you the world. whatever I can do to make it up to you trust me I will. the greatest gift God has given me is you. when this pays off I want you right here next to me. I can never forget what you did for me. you helped me get out of the streets because you always call me and ask me what time am I going home and I would say right now. you have been missing for a minute and I want to see you. I want to open up my heart and let you in. It’s been so hard to let someone get close to me but I feel like you are different.
If you think you're going to spend all of my money. that’s the only thing the conversation was about and frankly, I’m getting fed up with this shit. this tricking shit is giving me a headache. you talking about you deserve you deserve someone slapping this universe out of your ass baby don’t get mad. what you thought wasn’t coming out of me. yeah, you want your hair done and nails and feet done. I just want to know are you giving up that cake pass dummy? if I go broke you can get up and leave.
I shouldn’t have left if I say I remember everything that happened back in the days and the old days was the good days of my life. why I can’t get that time back and things never went left? just maybe if I fight I can get that back but in the new day and this time, I’m never letting y’all go. we never had an argument or a fight and thank you for never cheating on me. that 20 minutes in 24 years is exactly what she wanted that’s why she said can I make it back in one piece. you and I had everything planned out.
In New York, we wear new balance not chucks blood until the day I die or black justice becomes active. the emotions people go through from the East to the West side. I got people that respect the real Damu’ over here. I know it’s the motherland but when you have this dot on your hand. I’m one of the founding fathers of this red apple falling from a tree. staying with that wire on me but at the end of the day you have to respect one another and y’all are supposed to check people that are false flagging.
In the beginning, you weren’t sure if you wanted to be in my life but I smoothed everything out so keep your head up. people will find the evil in someone but won’t look at them like their Godly. everyone deserves a second chance not saying I did anything wrong but everything I did was in the Bible of Elijah. if I have this locator in my hand. I’m not that strong to disobey the man upstairs. so forgive me for being who he wanted me to be. I can’t change the past but I can look forward to the future.
I want everyone that’s here now to take a look at yourself. you can’t believe that I meant to walk out and party and I have never been to a club can you say the same thing? 21 and have never been to a strip club, not one lap dance. how do you think Aaliyah will feel about me letting other females that are not family already inside of her heart? you talk about morals and respect ask yourself do you respect me? I’m telling you how it is or am I just playing sometimes I can’t stand inside jokes because you or I can take it seriously.
When you are turning the light on right before you turn the light on it’s darkness right? people should be proud of who they are because God made all of us equal and we have the right to be who we are right. if I have a child that I wanted but never did anything for them I wouldn’t be the man I am today. that’s why I love my children with all of my heart. God has turned this light on my hand and the clarity is clear for me. how can you ask me why when you don’t know the half of the story and why I’m the way I am?
CHAPTER 212
The spotlight is on you. That inside joke I was talking about. Another phone call I got was at 8:43 and I’m sitting here thinking what can that mean? 9:16 was the phone call I received a long time ago and if you add it up it’s 33 minutes. that takes me back to Saturday’s club see 76 is what X said. he also said 44 haze the streets with the housing, some people may say it was me which is true. you keep giving me hints like this I’m going to make you my right-hand side chick. Baby keeps me on my toes for real and I appreciate that.
You want to start something every time I’m in a good night's sleep. you call and wake me up is that you letting me know that you are thinking about me? I will be so glad to hear from you no questions asked about why so late. I have a question are you into me like I’m into you? I write some gangster raps and some movies and poems but I found myself writing a lot of r&b tracks that’s where the money at. wait till I open the company up and the company distributes different items all over the world.
If we shall part ways I just want you to know I care for you. you told me you will never leave me I’m talking to you. I remember that day like it was yesterday crying and you picking me back up or when we are driving to Connecticut to see Missy in a red car and this big truck drove by us and I pointed. what I was saying was I’m on freeze with you. I remember at sugar house and I’m sitting on the sofa crying my eyes out and one of your friends came up to me and asked what was wrong. you said you might have to let me go if it’s yours he will come back to you.
Sex money murda shoutout to the gang a lot of people died from this game. how many hill people died from opps? what was it over the money because they were getting to their paper? I’m from the hill I know people want to see something happen to me but I’m watching everybody out here. if I would’ve gotten caught back in the days I would’ve been in black justice for a long time. I just know different from people that mess with the opps. Do you think I’m going to let someone set me up? if I trust you then we are true friends treetops.
Perception if I can figure out how she sees things and feel about a cheating man. this all makes sense to me that you love me. her body her mind her spirit her soul are so wonderful. you are worth everything that I have to give you. you brighten up my day every day. Baby growing here makes me this man I am today. I’m glad it’s more than just sex money murda. we are connected minds. we have been through so much in this lifetime but we still manage to fight for ourselves and that’s what I love about this relationship.
Obvious that you have to pick a side before you get pulled into the middle of chaos. this goes out to you for holding a conversation with me. lying about being on a plane but I’m glad I called you. The conversation we had corresponded on the text for a long time. I’m having these thoughts in the back of my mind are you with someone else? I feel the answer may be yes and if so I can respect that and if it’s no thank God, calling you because Ma gave me your number God's body I’m talking to you.
People seem to want to benefit from others. when someone set out a map of the way life is supposed to be. nobody wants to follow me. why tear down your leader if you're willing to make progress with other people? I’m here for a reason I can’t make things change females may be in support of other men but I’m a reflection of God so no one can take my pride. just sitting here thinking about what my baby did for me. you will support others but when it comes to the person that has been taking care of our people he gets nothing in return.
To grow as a unit, you need trust if you take love shots at me and I take love shots at you. it’s just us playing this time around let’s be the ones that live our life together for all of the right reasons. the way life is designed to be our men are the ones losing because we only want to hoe our females out. you have to take care of the ladies in your life because they need it. as a man, I’m responsible for my actions in making you a powerful woman. never underestimate what women feel in her heart because she does love me.
This is something that we both were afraid of but look how far we have come from the first time together. the females in my life are all grown and let’s say they are older than 37 and they only had one man inside of their body. if that’s not an accomplishment I don’t know what is. when you deal with me you don’t have to look for anyone else. y’all only have one body count. that’s amazing by the way I can’t wait until we are one. is this what you have been looking for? I’m all for it and I know your faithfulness shows.
I don’t want you to ever feel pressure from me. this is a place where opportunities come from walking this straight path. when you don’t have to worry about going to black justice because the ladies keep you headstrong. a female may see things that you may not see and this is why I trust them. people may say you can’t put all of your eggs in one basket. this is why I have choices in females but they all know about one another. This is the beauty of my life. when you can take care of all of the ladies you will be appreciated.
CHAPTER 213
The fight is not the hard or difficult part of a relationship because you can always get through things by prayer. staying together and working on your relationship means you have to face your fears inside of yourself. so you better be ready to look in the mirror. yeah, take a good look because if you do not protect yourself diseases can enter your body. so watch who you sleep with and what kind of energy you let inside of your soul. any bad vibes can cause so much damage to women. stick to who you know and that’s how you can avoid bad spirits inside of you.
Say my name over and over again. I will not let you forget my name. I’m across the room watching you and I sent my friend over there to talk to you but she told him she has a boyfriend. this young lady got on the sofa and told me everything was okay and I appreciate it. if she hears me and wants to see me again it can happen thank you for being my friend that night and I’m speaking with my double ghost. changing was the affection to your heart that's what I was trying to relate to and yes I did that. I’m trying to find out what it’s made for.
Solidified I had to earn my spot in these streets but people want to claim that their blood. no, I didn’t get jumped in no I didn’t murder someone but the triple five speaks for itself call me sex money murda, and my buzzing the murderer. if it would’ve gone down on the left side I wouldn’t be here right now and later on in my life Aaliyah reminded me and slash me. I mean nip me on my right cheek closer to the right eye. falling down the steps in my buzzing building slashing my right eye and that’s where Diddy got red eye and X said right eye.
Copacetic if you follow the rules in the order it was given to you. you can overcome the problem that you have. whether that be with a girl that you like, you have to follow the signs that she uses and if she shows interest and entrance by letting you in the door of her heart. She will directly show you how she feels, you have to know how to follow signs. she wants you to pick up on the signs that she throws at you. In other words, do you approach her and tell her how you feel? I’m never one to brag but my shorty is fine.
Consistency over a time length you will be able to settle down and be with your family but for now I’m pretty sure my family wants to read more poems from me and that’s exactly what I am going to give them. looking back I didn’t think it was going to be like this but my family did. they believed in me and I’m grateful for them having my back. when you do right by your children and their mothers God will bless you facts. if you don’t care about your family you will have nothing.
Accusation where do people get off thinking what I have built they have built? when empire came out people said the show was talking about them. the money in Rocafella this person can’t get it out of his head. the reason it came to an end is because I came back home. looking at it when I returned to NYC it ended. so please stop saying what you built and who you put on. looking at the outcome this is the reason I’m in control but I’m not mad about her presence being with me now and trust me she knew what she was doing.
Pioneer to find yourself and I know it’s an area but I’m using it to find yourself. when you look inside yourself what do you see? if the company is yours fight for it is what she told me and I’m putting in the work to reclaim this company. so far everything’s good but it needs to get even better and with hard work that can happen. you know your speed so don’t rush take your time with building this business. never rush something that takes a long time because, in the long run, the company will be successful.
Evolve when you are growing things start to change in your life like the no-good people. you keep the people that want to see you doing better. from this standpoint, you have to level up to become a better person for your family. you can’t be trapped in the street life because at the end of the day that will get you nowhere trust me. you can’t retire in the streets. people that you had beef with your children will inherit that beef and the cycle continue. you have to be the one that stops that from happening.
Coincidence if something keeps happening you have to form some kind of understanding about what’s going on in your life. seek for the truth and never stop until you find it. enter your soul into places that make you uncomfortable because that will bring out the comfort in you. it’s strange to know someone you never met right? yes, but is it okay to never have any this person is just food for thought. she knows where her man stands and what’s right with her. this will never stop until I’m prepared to pause it.
When you invite someone into your space that becomes y’all space. so know who you are letting next to you from here on. discovery is a must about yourself. you can find out new things about yourself every day of your life. the part about staying the same person you were when you were young is an absolute no-no. Find out different people and how people act and show their self to you. please don’t take this out of context just know your surroundings all of the time. people around you can change at the drop of a dime feel me.
CHAPTER 214
I’m trying to find a place in my heart where I care about people that don’t care about me. I have to be the bigger person and find out what was the problem. when I find out I can address the problem at hand. people didn’t like me for whatever reason I never took off of my plate but people seem to always want something on my plate. I guess that's just how it goes or should I say people being selfish. the outcome is remarkable for me. people wanting to sign to my company people that you wouldn’t believe would’ve years ago. I guess this is an improvement.
You have to let yourself be free to explore the world. I know what having an opportunity feels like. if you will like to work be my guess just make sure you have the right people around you. when you are making your moves, situations do get crazy out here and I want you to know I will always have your back just respect me and I will respect you. that’s something that will keep the relationship we have together am I right? if you disagree let me know and tell me another way to respect ourselves in the right manner. I’m just standing up for us.
The body is empowering. you should love who you are with because she has to live with you. I don’t want to rush this relationship. you are so spoiled thinking about my next move. are you saying you are not giving up on me? this strong woman has my heart. I think you need to stay pretty and show how you look. it’s a double standard and I appreciate the way you handle me handling my business. just in case you need to know, I just want you to respect yourself out here. the bottom line stay being a woman of God because a real man will look at you.
What does it take to fall in love with positive women? what you put into a relationship that’s just what you are going to get out of it. both sides play games until you find that one special lady. I’m here without you but she’s inside of me. She wants me to work so I can fulfill my goals. trust me I can’t change her mind her head is in this book. I’m the one that she walks with. so I have to think about her feelings. there’s more work to do and I’m into this book. the guidance that she brings inside of my heart.
The opportunity presented itself with a question that I always wanted to ask. so I asked if was it a problem when I was helping her out and my mother said know it wasn’t a problem. if someone needed to be taken care of. she said she was all for it. the thought of providing for another human being was great because I knew the blessings will be much greater in due time and then my beads Popped is this a sign from Aaliyah's double-mint twins? if this is true God bless you and if not maybe I’m too far into you.
Looking through my eyes you can't possibly see what I see. if you lived my life you would understand what I’m going through. being sick and I’m not talking about a cold or a headache. the sickness that bothers your mind. so I have to be extra careful out here. this is why I ask you to watch me because I can’t know I will not put this on someone that can’t handle me. he put me in this situation for a reason. he wanted me to meet the devil. that’s a deep thought but coming back to God is what I did and I know he’s proud of me.
The run I have had is a blessing. I haven’t had writer's block yet because of my mind-like this feeling. the feeling that the ladies in my life keep me in good spirits. this is the reason I’m able to continue to write these poems. I also want to thank God for blessing me with this mind. I don’t talk much because I learned if you open your mouth it can get you in trouble. being out of town you needed to keep your mouth shut or else something will happen to you. when I was taking trips in and out of town I was thinking about you all of the time.
Satan is working every day. you have to stand up against him because if he gets your mind. there’s no coming back from that. the only way you can avoid him is by taking care of your family. he doesn’t want you to take care of the love of your life and if she used you it will show. the way she looks at me is a way that know other females look at me. come closer I want to show you something as she gets close to me. I kissed her on the cheek to let her know I never cheated trust me and in due time we will travel the world.
Insanity the thought of being with this mean I have to take care of the way I think because one wrong thought can send me back into a depression. the reason I’m good and doing excellent is because of my family. getting back to where I needed to be meant the world to me. my head is in the right state and I need to stay on this path. what hurt the most is a female that didn’t trust me. look like the switch is there. so we need to carry on with our life right. being this successful means my children will grow up knowing that I did everything for them.
Traumatize when I went through the triple five slashing me in my temple. I thought I was going to die but guess what God had a plan for me to accomplish bringing my dot to life and now it moves inside of my body. I had a lot of accidents when I was young and a couple when I was older. two for example both arms have a bullet scrape on them in the form of a cross but I like to say status. Trying to find out how the dot works that’s in my hand was hard but then one day I went to heaven and hell at the same time.
CHAPTER 215
Contrary if a person has the opposite thought process as you. you have to get rid of them. you can’t be on a positive action and he’s or they on a negative action. you have to keep people around you that won’t put you in trouble or in harm's way. you have to have people around you that care about your well-being because if you don’t you can get locked up because you are the boss. you have to have some kind of structure in your life to guide you on the right path.
Prosperity is to be in a state of attention knowing where you want to end up. leading by example guiding your people in the right direction even if it means you losing your life. you have to be an outlaw sometimes and especially for your family. never taking no for an answer, figuring out a way for you to be victorious and different from everyone else. you have to pretend you don’t know much but remain smart in the mind. the way you figure out problems is called problem solving and it’s the winning way. so you can overcome your fear.
Watch how that beat crawls on the track. if you hated me I hope you keep that same energy and don’t forget I can’t stand people that do things on purpose. what you ought to do is get money. I’m flying across the world through my females getting dressed up and playing some dmx. what do you know about parting ways with the people that had something to do with me getting set up? if family set you up they know wherever I’m at. that’s how you got hit and I promise never to slip again. this is not a sneak diss I’m coming right at you.
You came to see me when I most needed you. if I shout out the girls in Birmingham that talked to me. trust me I remember y’all but I know y’all have your life. I’m just here to say thank you. the best part is that my child was down there. so when I was praying to God she was there hearing my blessings. Layla knows the truth so don’t worry about it. if your mother would’ve crossed me. the slash wouldn’t be on your temple and I would never have gone to heaven. I hope you and your mother are discussing things that help us out.
You make me a better man. I just want you to know that. I don’t know how you came into my life and all of the numbers add up. this makes looking for a woman easier. I want to grow older with you. so we can be around for our grandchildren. your smartness is so sexy. I know you make your mother happy. I can’t put my finger around it but is she growing inside of you? that’s all I want to know. you show me by requesting my presents and you represent me the right way and I appreciate it. your soul feels like you were sent from heaven.
Riding with this female this is what she said to me. you will never find a woman like me and I said how do you know that? She said trust me I’m one of a kind, she said I respect myself and I’m smart and I’m faithful and I promise to love you. I said you are right if you have all of those qualities you are the best. she also said I’m a beast in the bed. I said you have to show me and then she said in due time. I said how about I find out right now and then she said not that fast. we have to take our time before we make this official.
That actual number is correct. I told you I was going to try my best to stack this year for a better us. try not to worry so much. let me clear your mind so the only thing you think about is us. you play too much what’s all of the teasing for? we are both grown here so we don’t have to act like little kids. if you want to play hard to get I’m with it but only if the end of the game end with us connecting. if that’s so I’m with the playing but we can’t play this little game all of the time and I know by saying this. she is going to make me play for a long time.
When you play the game you play for keeps. all of the drug dealers in this game. Do you think people gave a fuck if Jake or should I say 12 try to get at us. you only ball for a couple of years. you better have bail money if you are in this game because you're going to need it. if you can get out of the game now get out before you get picked up or picked off. people say the only thing the game has in it is death or black justice. so if you are going to play you better play it well. at a certain age, you have to change your hustle.
Take away a hundred dollars. this is only the beginning of the grind. putting my time and yes I invested in you. instead of giving me problems help me rise above the odds. you are supposed to make me smile and laugh. do you think you are doing your job because you make things up? you always accuse me of cheating on you. please wipe your tears and come back home. this distance relationship has been going on for some time now and I just want my baby back. you are so stubborn you always think you are supposed to get your way.
What does calling you mean? you are not going to come back into my life. until you are ready who’s supposed to make the first move on me right? if a support you with everything you do. help me understand the life we have and where is it going. you have to come to me to let me know that you are ready. I have my eyes on this special lady if this last. I’m going to be the best husband. both of us sharing this business that we both built together and the way you helped me is by staying faithful. that helped my mind stay positive.
CHAPTER 216
You will always be my first no matter who comes into my life. when you told me Layla was my daughter I said no in other words. I’m saying Noah this is till the death but I want to live for you. explore my mind and heart. I see you still love writing songs because you keep me up writing all day. Baby do you I’m not stopping you. if this is something that we both love, so let’s do it. I remember first starting this we had nothing but writing words on paper. this is almost completed and finished for now let’s stay on the right track.
If you know so much about your significant other tell me her favorite movie or her favorite song and tell me what she likes to do other than stay in the house. I don’t think you should be out showing your goods to other men. I’m not a hater but if you mine and I can’t see you yet. you shouldn’t party with other men isn’t that what you said when you said let’s talk? the conversation took a toll on me. thinking about it then called and asked you the question and you said yes. Even doe you didn’t have to do it after that.
I wanted to leave it in my mind but I mine as well say my peace to get this out of the way. first I was the first one but I see that things changed. my guess is I was gone too long but it was for a good reason. pulling me back and getting up not because of you. I just don’t want to be in the same area as her. This could never be again I’m over it so let’s move on. people grow apart it’s all a part of life. you messed up seeing all of these females that are in my life. I have to focus on you. you want the exchange right if you believe then let it be.
You talk a good game what about saying I need a towel on my neck? when you were doing my hair and she said this is my towel is this the same towel you dry off with. what kind of sign is that you were throwing at me? I know when I first came back you saw me on the basketball court let me know if I have a game. another memory I had was when you were doing my hair. you walk into the room with spandex shorts on. on another note the last time I got my hair done by you. you asked me about the Illuminati and the Masons. I hope I answered all of your questions.
Welcome to Harlemville where gangsters hang out at. so who cares about your feelings? the streets will take your life and I mean incarcerated there are too many people doing time. you sell drugs shoot dice and sexing females. that’s what goes on my block. the block stays popping please try to walk a day in my shoes. you have to be a strong individual and you have to be independently stable to maintain the life that you want. you see all of the drug dealers with nice cars and clothes and sexy ladies.
I gambled on you to be in my life. you never asked for something that I didn’t take care of. accept that one time because you wanted me to pull back and the next week you called my sister telling her you are having a baby and then I’m walking to the block and you turned your back for what because you should always look me in my eyes. if this isn’t possible then I guess it was all for nothing. I’m just expressing what happened in my life. I’m still young with a lot to offer to someone and soon that’s going to happen.
If you son someone the only # I choose is # 1. If we were in a race I’m so far because I grind every day. I know my uncle looking down on me like applying pressure and don’t let up. whoever on the other side stays over there. if you weren’t with me when this shit started and if you were but left because you thought I was going to lose. people say it’s all about who you know it’s how faithful you are. I’m second to none and you are nonexistent. this shit doesn’t come overnight. you have to put blood sweat and tears into it and I did mine to the fullest.
I’m trying to figure out why you called me for every appointment that you had. letting me know that you are taking care of what you are supposed to be taking care of. it’s been so long since seeing you I get the feeling that I had for you. sometimes I miss them feelings because I don’t know if you are with me. random thoughts run threw my mind. I can’t wait until you tell me if it’s a yes or no. how many times I tried to fall back but you didn’t let me fall back because every time I tried. you call me and ask me a question that makes me come back.
If I wasn’t down for u. I would’ve turned my back a long time ago. the reason I’m still here is because you trusted me. what were you thinking about going out on a trip like that? please don’t make me get my triple-five and start the slashing. you are getting a pass because Aaliyah did rock the boat. all of this time that I could’ve got but I’m still here fighting. you look like you felt some kind of way but guess what. this is the only female for me and it’s all for L’S. gambling with my life until black justice locks me.
I’m getting right back into this. which way do I go you made me feel guilty and you probably did your thing. you get whatever you want out of me, and you stay looking sexy but remember the one lady that has my heart above. so when I look up at her I see her walking right above me in heaven. I’m sitting here and her soul is up in heaven sitting in the same spot I’m sitting in. When I move she moves when I do something she does it with me. I can’t shake her because she’s my equal. if she should cry that’s tears dropping down my cheeks.
CHAPTER 217
What you know about going out was not something that I wanted to do but when my shorty tell me to handle the business at hand. I remember at your house and you telling me to make me a believer and in my mind. that looked like it was going to be hard but getting in the mood. the motion changed for the better. you have this king why not choose a queen isn’t that where you are from? I never meant for that to happen but since it did let’s live up to it. changing your thought process getting back to y’all fine asses.
I’m not hiding anything everything that you need to know about me is in my writing. dam I’m thinking about getting down on one knee and asking a female to be my wife. let it be known that I need a woman that’s down for me. one that has my back at any cost, one that will ride with me until the wheels fall off. we can’t take one another for granted because if I leave you lost out on a good man and trust me. if you leave me I’m losing out on a good woman our relationship makes us better. who is going to hold her ground as you did?
2pac said if he can spark the mind of one man he feels like he did his job. guess what mind he sparked. all of these songs feel so good to me. I’m working for what I want. trust me and my friends will one day come up from this music shit. if we continue to grind hard nothing can stop us from accomplishing our goal. when you achieve that you will feel like nothing is impossible. you should set your standards high because you have to live with what you want. playing around not me I’m studying my history.
You know with dedication you can complete a person that you are interested in at heart. yeah, it may take time but stay with it. she will come around at the end she just wants someone to chase her and I’m running 100 miles an hour. when that day comes and she wants to give me a chance. I will be thankful for real and I’m never letting her out of my sight. I’m keeping a close eye on her. she’s telling me she’s that 036. I want to hold her hand when we go to Heaven. when God takes me and my queen will my soul rise together?
Finding someone can stress you out, the searching part can last forever. you want someone that has the same ideas that you have. one that wants to see you win and you want to see her win. sure life can go up and down that’s all a part of sticking together when times get hard. Let things play out and you will find out if the girl you seek is for you. if things get out of hand you can always make it up to her. you have to make sure she feels like you are there for her. everything will work itself out.
You never want to be the coolest kid around. you want to be the richest kid outright, showing off gets you nowhere baby let’s do this for our children. the heart is where the families are. I learned a lot from the South. this may be the reason I move the way I move. I've been telling people you can keep the beef because I have so much more to lose. when I wake up I wake up to take care of my family. this has nothing to do with being scared of anyone but if it means black justice can happen. I’m staying away from it.
Affordable living is great but I want us to live the life like kings and queens live. anything that you see you can cop. never doubt yourself live life on the edge but never fall off. you show people that doubted you. that you can overcome obstacles. God wants to bless you but are you willing to let him give you blessings? if a women approach me I’m looking past her for you. there’s no need to keep looking for who you want to be with. if she’s right in front of your eyes. My sexy ass females when God created you, you are one of a kind.
I want a flawless woman. one that has all of her shit together. one that works hard for what she wants. to build a family both of you have to bring something to the table for it to work. finding the right partner is difficult but I vow to look hard. I had that in you but you are not here anymore or did you exchange your soul for someone else? there are things I still have to figure out before I move on. the trust that you know where about’s. looking this lady in her eyes people say the eyes can hide so many secrets.
If the first time she hit your line was at 8 am and then she just hit your line at 9:16 am, that’s a 1:16 difference oh oh someone's Birthday coming up. that’s three birthdays, you stay throwing shots at me, does this mean you her you have to close the deal and when that day comes. you can call yourself fully protected. you know the game like I know the game. so keep putting it on for me. first I have to analyze every aspect of this relationship right to find out the truth.
You have to rely on your feelings to get you through life or else everything will just happen in a sense of achievement. I don’t want to let this go without me and you giving it our all. I haven’t missed a day since you've been gone. God says he gives and he takes from those that do not have a pure heart. he knows when you are bad and good. he knows when you are thinking about doing something wrong. he also knows when you do good. that’s when you get your blessings. you should always keep a positive attitude.
CHAPTER 218
I’m trying to stay out of trouble. so I don’t get locked up. you have to keep a low profile if you want to last long on these streets. I know the streets don’t love me. the only thing I have is me and my girlfriend. yes, she knows about black justice a couple of times. that’s something she never did in her other life. transporting and exchanging was her specialty. She stayed down she was well trained. she had street-smart and well educated and I told her put her education first and that’s what she did.
The life we had together and still have let know one take it from us. you laying down with headphones on meaning you want to listen to music and write songs. who am I to take that from you? you have helped me get this far. I will never think about replacing you. this castle isn’t a home without you here next to me. people won’t look at the details the right way but if I have to keep feeding them with information I will. I know you and I know the truth. going to heaven and hell to bring your soul down here willingly. you gave up your life.
Days are sure to seem long without you here. like Scarface said to his sister I will be there in a minute. I know you are waiting for me. She knew you were playing games that’s why she never laid down with you. if you look at it the right way. you think showing pictures of you and she doesn’t hurt my child but having a child at the same time you were messing with her but you loved her right? miss me with the bull shit she knew that she had to do what she had to do. that’s why she returned inside of me. this is her goal into my goal.
If I can hold you one more time. I would tell you how much I care about you. I’m trying to let myself settle down but the reminder of you is so strong. the bottom line is I’m in it for the long run because you're taking care of your man. being your brother and you being my sister twin having one another by birth. Mother and father, what is it that we are not? we are compatible in so many ways. growing up and never saying we have grown apart is a wonderful feeling. I can’t get over the way you love me.
We can fight all day but we are losing the war because we are subjected to all of these drugs. do you ever wonder what they put in these drugs? the system isn’t designed for us to win. if you take a step back and acknowledge the situation. you will see we are dying out here. you have to keep a clean soul. we can’t keep killing ourselves. it has to be better days is this the reason the great ones died for us? they would look at us and say we haven't come together yet. we are so divided as a people. we can do so much more if we work together.
I just want to sit here and console your body parts one part at a time. the thought of never seeing you again hurt at that time but coming home to start a new beginning. seeing females that use to be in my life when I was younger. this is me thinking are they still here I couldn’t dwell on that. showing them that nothing but my heart was in my head getting back to reclaim what was mine took time. just look where we are at right now. this is the work of a man that missed his family not one bad thought was running through my mind.
I know you gave me the strength to move forward. when I thought things couldn’t get any more painful. seeing our child change me for the better and now this is the man that you get. I’m not a little boy I have a grown man mind. blesses baby you stayed strong, I wondered why you asked seven females to get on the plane with you because in the Ten Commandments. Moses met seven sisters and you always told me that you wanted to follow the Bible and the Bible is in my hand. when people die tell me do they rest in my hand.
If you sit here and look at yourself. I mean look at yourself. you think I rather cheat if I didn’t have to go outside I wouldn’t. yes, I wish I can take back what happened but we have to accept it and learn from our mistakes. why would you doubt yourself like y’all ain’t some of the baddies out here? I was just waiting for my time to return home and get my mind right for me and you. so I can explain this. what have you learned? I know we can have some disagreements but in the case of walking out to have a relationship with someone else. you know me better than that.
U got it bad. the conversation was about me asking her if she comes to the park can I come over there and talk to her and spend time with her and she said yeah. then she said she was going to a party and I know that means apart for now and I accept that. when I first saw you I was down the block by your building and I’m leaning on the car hair cut off and you passed by me. when I first saw you, you were walking up the block and I’m across the street and I saw you and called your name and then I walked closer so you can hear me.
I appreciate you coming to see me when I first started writing for this company. that’s built now. why can’t you come to see me now, I have more to offer to you. I can’t imagine another man taking my place. you giving another man something that I built. yeah, I took part in the way you are today, girls come a dime a dozen trust me. the question is are you ready to give up your spot? you want to sip Moe on my living room floor. I remember watching that movie with you and you said you are a ride-or-die type of female.
CHAPTER 219
My mind hurt feel like it was about to bust. I have been writing for 18 years. imagine every day putting words together for songs and short stories and mini-movies. the pain is real but I know I have to take care of what I have built. I’m only 35 years old this is a man that started writing at a young age and hasn’t stopped yet. this is a wonderful feeling to communicate with who I want to spend eternity with. you can’t take cheating out of context because it was the downfall of my life but trust and believe it was no karma because I was faithful.
When you see things for what it’s worth. people turn their back every moment on their friends. you have to find people that will not cross you but it’s so hard. People wonder why I don’t hang out at night. it has nothing to do with being scared. it has a lot to do with trusting who. going out hanging with people that see too much, money shouldn’t be the reason someone gets murdered. nowadays people you need to choose your friends wisely because everyone that says their your friends ain’t your friend.
She’s always asking for money shorty keep her hand out but guess what I’m about to dub this chick. you're about to be on some freak shit for this money. when I look at you I look at a chicken head, you asked me for some sneakers and then you also brought a shirt and then had the nerve to ask me for more money. if this shit was all about using me. I promise to get your ass back. when I get on you bet not ask for a dollar because the answer is hell no. So when that day comes and you see me doing my thing. kick yourself in the ass.
And about that $20 I said I was going to give you when I get paid for doing my hair. you called your Mother telling her I said I was giving you $20 and I haven’t paid you yet. yeah, I bet that ass didn’t know I was on the phone. yeah coming to the apartment to give you the $20 you think you look cute but if your ass used me. payback is a hitch feel me. use to get phone calls all the time now I barely get a phone call from you. I got a trick for your ass don’t make me slap the shit out of you I’m just playing I'll never put my hands on a chicken head before.
So as I’m sleeping a phone call wakes me up and it’s this young lady. it was good to hear her voice because I haven't seen her for about three months. As I’m talking to her I can tell she’s getting so mature and yes that’s a good thing. I’m just here expressing what’s going on in my life. learning who I am is all I wanted from her and thanks to you for letting me be in her life. where is this going trying to find out but the alternative could be different and I’m not saying that’s so. actions speak louder than words.
You think about what you do before you do it. dam 9:00clock in the morning hit me like that again. what I should’ve done was make your ass work for what you want. you always yelling and cursing me out now I’m wondering how that mouth works and this goes out to you talking about I’m in MD with my girl and I replied that she’s having a happy meal. guess what she never answered back then I hit her with what team you mess with now. she hit me back but it was a light hit. yeah, I’m just going to brush my shoulders off.
You wish you were in this position right. you have to work hard. you have to put overtime in if you want to accomplish your dream. a man that has faith is a God-fearing man. the game doesn’t love us so we have to be strong enough to fight and look the pain right in the eyes. I never started beef but it somehow finds me because I’m getting to this money ain’t that a Sex Money Murda thing? I never planned this it just happened for me because I’m at my job. you can’t lack in a relationship because it can go south real quick.
Trying to spread the word that the love is there. at my highest point in life, I still stayed level-headed. your mother telling me she doesn’t want y’all in the streets. am I protecting y’all I think the answer is yeah. One mistake may cost you your life so I have to be on top of it. today is a good day for me. I just don’t know if should I let go of the past that’s what she said to me and I said what do you think. she said you let me know and I said forget about it. this day from here on we need to move forward and act like we got some sense.
Spending all of this time working to be great. you will never understand how much I looked up to you. I remember you coming to my house and you were with your friend and I had a suitcase filled with 1$ bills. you said is that for me and I said I can’t deny you. you use to be there for all of my transactions. you use to take the money with you to your house. I know good and well you use to stack it. you had like a million dollars at the age of 16 years old. if any person would’ve put their hands on you it would’ve been a problem for them.
If I have to grab the gun and let it off. when I was five years old. I remember the triple-five slashing down my temple. waking up from that leaving the hospital bed getting back into these streets. when you mean scared. I died and came back from that around the same time AZ came back. when he said he saw God he was talking about me. bad azz said 7/11 and today is jay z Seed's Birthday Rest In Peace to your mother isn’t today the 7th and in four days it will be the 11 and we got another birthday? I can’t get hit up this dot on my hand is willing to pop off.
CHAPTER 220
Being out of town I found myself walking to the end of the road in Birmingham Alabama then walking back to where I knew where I was going. I went to a Barbara shop and beauty salon and sat down guess who walked in Layla. when she walked past me I got up and went into the room where she was and told her she was beautiful and then knock on the wall seven times and then left. the war was on for me to put her mother's soul into us. so she can feel the dot running threw her soul and that’s exactly what I did.
Dog ninjas let me tell you about this flag. if something happens to me daws going to be on the hunt feel me. who started this shit going down the i95 and folks coming up top me that’s who. it ain’t about that I could care less. we all were out there playing. the only reason I went out was because of ninjas. I know I don’t have to mention it again. if y’all want to rest me then test it but I’m smarter until that day comes. you might ask why he leaves early work be calling me. when my phone dies yes it’s time to check in and I’m patched in.
You can’t look past what was done to us as a people. people put their life on the line for this country and we built this country on our back but we get none of the benefits. why is that because we don’t speak up for ourselves? we have to take responsibility for us killing one another. if they look at us like they kill one another they will think it’s okay to kill us and is that right no. we have to empower ourselves if we want a piece of the pie. we have to lay down a platform for our younger generation to follow it the right way.
Fixing the problem probably will never happen and if it does who can say I was here to witness it? we need to start taking care of one another. we have the money to build our shit. if we put our minds to it. I’m here fighting for the cause through my writings. we fight one another we kill one another we put one another down. if one is doing something positive we downplay it by saying that will never work. if I believe in something nobody will stop me from accomplishing my goal. we need to change the way we think, we need to come together.
How will I know the right woman, when all of these females play games? they go from men to men. how can I fall in love with one? that’s why I thank God for you protecting me. you make me never want to walk out on you because if I do and then I break up with her how can I explain that to our child? you keep me in this space where I know what to expect and I never want that to change because everything can fall apart. if I know where you are at all of time and that’s inside of me. there’s no cheating so let’s look one another in the eyes.
Having this great heart it’s hard to break it. if she wants to be with me. I got a call and the word of the day was Mother Nature. I know you are telling me that season is about to change and I understand that. this means growth is upon us. letting everything bad in your life you release that negative energy out. the greatest part about success is you can take care of your family. what you thought it was over. I’m coming back stronger than ever. God has given me this voice and it shall be heard.
Now I have shorty transferring tips on cocaine. this shit doesn’t get any better than what you know about that. that’s 22 million Dollars. this is only the beginning of this year. so let’s lace up our boots or sneakers. I still want that $165 you think you're slick. please have mine before things get ugly. why keep asking me how much I need? I’m already deep in the game so why not go all the way? swerving me about mine only going to get you flipped on. so have my money or the next move is going to be sporty. yeah, I know who will be here to tell her the dissatisfaction.
What happens when you try to save a relationship and the other person wants to do their thing? it will confuse the relationship right? you have to plan things together to keep both people happy. you can’t leave the other one out of your plans. if you are not ready to share your life you should remain single. in a relationship, faithfulness is one of the strongest points. so either you get with the program or move on. when one had it up to here. making a relationship work with someone that wants to be by their self is a waste of time.
Please keep the one that was with you when you were grinding to get here with you. you can’t look down on her because she wants to educate herself. you are letting go of a good woman. I can say she put me in this place in I miss you. you said when you were going to college I was going to high school but we knew never to cross one another. having a woman with beauty and brains is a plus for me. where do I see myself dealing with a woman that has some things going for her or the one that you built this with? So me and her can share the benefits.
When you make it in this space. you turn into a wise person. trying to get on the level of a woman that knows what she wants not one that follows the wave. she’s her person inside and outside. she wants to better herself in time this will happen. if you can’t keep yourself steady you will fall for anything and I can’t let that happen to you but if you want to go be my guess. I need a powerful woman and one that’s dedicated to me. when I’m stressed out she will be the one that makes me feel alive again.
CHAPTER 221
Let’s follow the plan that we had when we were children. we can’t break up because someone will take my place and someone will take your place. putting all of my soul into this relationship. we have to agree in life. you can’t take your stress out on me. this is why I’m here so we can sit down and talk about what’s bothering us. seeing into the future wondering if you are in my future. there are so many other females out there and other males. fighting to maintain this life that we have can be so hard but I’m up for it.
I was put here on this earth to accommodate your life to be the man that you need in your life. I’m not here to get you upset in any kind of way. people show their true colors when things hit the fan but not you. you gave up your life and I will always repeat this because it means so much to me. as I stand here and give my life to you with no questions asked. I’m fighting for this and I’m never backing down. as I stand up front for your love. the feeling I get knowing I’m fighting for a good cause. there’s no better feeling in the world.
I need that superwoman to save me. take me away from all that can be bad for me. you might not know a women's touch can help a man accomplish more. this women touch my soul and I’ll be on the right path ever since. looking back at the life I had when you were outside of my soul. thanks for returning to where you are most wanted. this fills this soft spot and the dot on my hand is complete. you also have to give your body the ability to enter souls as I do the grownup thing but when I’m finished you come back inside of my soul.
I will like to take the time out to notice the real ladies that want one and not a player but if he takes care of all of y’all. I’m still saying thank you for letting me have this many females by my side. you know there’s nothing in this world that can make me turn my back on us. yes, I like having a lot of children. so brothers and sisters can come together one day and that day is coming soon. This is God calling not mine. I’m just following what he had set up for me and I’m doing my best to take care of all of us.
Yes, days get difficult but you should always have the courage to tame yourself. the devil is working and his other name is Satan but when your birthday is Saint Patrick’s Day. you have this unique understanding of the things that he does and the way he operates. if you give your life to the Lord Allah will watch over you. prayer has mysterious ways of working. when he’s fighting for you, you might not receive your answer right then and there but it’s coming. you have to have trust if Heaven is in my hands. I have to think about that.
I wanted to ask this question what will you do to stay in love with your partner? I will go to the end of the world. Sue me if I’m using something that I’m not supposed to be using. your journey has an excellent end to it. if we can’t be friends then I guess we need to part ways. then I remember that she said to dust my shoulders off and try again and that was exactly what I did. I’m wondering if it worked or was all mouth telling me the conversation I’m saying hi Trish and she’s saying hi sin. later that night we talked I guess it's true.
Guys, you wouldn’t believe the people that say things that are close to your heart. things that make her and I feel better. the good thing about it is that they acknowledge us. you always reach out to our child while we talk about issues we have on a day-to-day basis. people say let’s make America great again but we need to start with ourselves. if each of us helps one other out. people think they know it all and act like they don’t need help. this wasn’t given to me. I had to work hard for this and I’m willing to put other people in a position to win.
Dedication to the ladies that’s been seeing this thing through. you are very welcome for letting me oversee time. my heart losing you was on the line. I couldn’t let that happen. this is why I put my heart into it. hopefully, this will make up for the time I went away. you have to understand them other females meant nothing to me and I just want y’all to know I’m home and I value the time you listen to what I had to say is this the outcome you were looking for? looking deep inside of myself to find this man that is a man.
How do you want it? getting you naked right next to me. picture me balling in Esce clothes, car, and all of the above, please tell me when you are ready. I’m staying clean for 2018 never forget where you came from. if you want something close mouth do get fed. staying true to myself and the people around me. if it ain’t a positive note get the hell from around me. building more songs that are all I see in my vision can you relate? we can’t look back. if mine turned to ours then let’s not go back to 2017 for that matter use 2000.
You sort out your problems and hope to move on to bigger and better things in life. I don’t want to walk through life without you next to me. the bottom line is I miss you seeing changes in our life means we are moving forward. please don’t take this life that we have together and end it. I can’t see this getting out of hand or any worse than this. let me give you a second to think about all of the good times we shared. putting my women first is all I want to do because you have shown me so much love and I want to treat you right.
CHAPTER 222
Developers seek more information from the mind. so I can use the information to create better stories. I’m all for finding myself in the eyes of the beholder. accepting your life so mine can be the best that it could be. you never let me down. the women that helped me stay out of trouble. you are the one I’m bettering myself for. so you don’t have to see me other than what you want. a man should change for his lady. this is the one you have to spend the rest of your life with and she’s the one you have to please, for that alone you should improve yourself.
With her monitoring every step I take how can I give up on a dream that we both shared? if you trust someone let that person come into my life and I will embrace her and love her to the max. I’m taking my time falling in love with someone out here. you are my escape ghost. you are the one I depend on even when you're not here your presence is felt dearly. you make ladies oh you are the one that came out of Jesus. so why will I cross you when I change the cross into status? you always came first. you left me our child that we share.
You told me you wanted me to put down the guns and use my mind and this is what I have been doing. please keep me in the good graces of the man upstairs because I know you are right next to him. I know you are putting in a good word for me and I appreciate it. please tell him how much I love you and I know he knows that I’m still faithful to you. if it ain’t this lady then I’m finding myself going to you. I know our child is watching me this is why I’m creating these words. so she can know how much I love you and no woman can change that.
Whatcha life like? if I had to do 20 to life and lost the name family usually goes missing. imagine people never doing anything for you. the bodies of a young man caught because people wanted to fuck with the other side. Do you think I gave a fuck on the trail for bodies? yeah murdering people because family crossed you. what people don’t know is that was me. what about the fact that you thought the family was close but they wanted money at that time? what’s the reason I was on the run? trading me for others I’m not saying anyone's name but that’s why the hate is there know this.
Trying to impress me and the female that’s with me. if you ever said I cheated then it’s your responsibility to let me know that we’re on good terms. you have to approach me because you have your life and I’m trying to see if these children are mine. I will not look like a fool. so what do we do how about you start talking to me? so I can know that you are with me. if not how will I ever know that you are my girlfriend? let’s not forget it I had to walk through life. my mind thinks about you every day because what you did makes this possible.
I know why we can’t fall in love because you want to act brand new and different. this isn’t the life I wanted but I have the play my cards right. when she’s playing games to get you all worked up. you have to watch me because you are my 3rd eye and you can’t let anyone get that close to me. you said you will always protect me and I’m taking your word for what it’s worth. so far you have let me down. this is why people say my shorty rolls harder than some of you ninjas. when I’m wrong she turned my wrong into a right.
Putting you out there as single a lot of females will look for you but if you have your queen at home with you. that means you are a happily married man. you do things for her like take her out on dates and to the movies. you show her things that she saw before. you get cool points for that and if you take her on trips across the world. let her travel the world with you keep her by your side. when your woman is inside of you. whatever move you make she makes and what you see she sees. this is why cheating isn’t an option for me.
If I was wrong please correct me and I promise it will never happen again. when she walked out of my life. the fight was I’m coming home so ether you going to be with me or not and I guess it was not. I found a new friend and she’s all that but sometimes I feel like nobody can replace you. when you continue to do the same thing and that’s cheating. if I have to yell to get through to you that I needed my wings. I know my children feel me every day. I’m sure you are the only one for me. just in case I miss understood it correct me.
When we sat down and talked for the first time. you were filling me with the hope that you are going to be there for me was I wrong? Thinking there’s more to this relationship that you told me that you will never leave but that isn’t the case. determination is a must for what I want. I have seen something in you that you didn’t see this is what she told me and I said do tell. she said how about raising a family because I know you are a good person inside and I said you are right on target. you must understand that some men want what they can get now but I’m planning for the future.
When you destroy one thing other things can be built by me. it’s all in the mind then put it into action. I want to cover you but you won’t let me. all I know is I want to be by your side in time of need. watching our children grow into young men and women. it has to be outrageous to take on this kind of task. you never know what you have until it’s too late. you learn from your mistakes and the only thing you can think about is making it better. so you try and try hard to do right. I always learn if you put what’s important to you first it will happen.
The emotional roller coaster. I love that song how many people can say you've been up and down? you are always telling me that you wish that you cheated on me and I’m saying for what. when it’s your fault are you upset about what I just said? I’m this close to giving this up because you seemed to be the other heart of mine. you can’t even look me in my eyes. you make me feel so uncomfortable all of the time. what do you get out of punishing me? you seem to feel some kind of enjoyment out of this. I just want my baby back.
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