BOOK 5

  

                                                          CHAPTER 125

Motivation is all I see on my timeline. everybody wants to take from me. I'm never giving up on this shit right here. when it's on who's going to fold? this is the shit I see every day of my life. when you get shit done. you will see a lot of money. Coming in from all over the world. never let them see what you are doing. follow the rules of this game. battling the street life without going to war. I hope there's a better outcome. never let them get you upset. didn't we change a lot of money? ninjas forget so easily.

Women will be a woman it's the place you are in. it's how the race you are with doesn't value you. maybe it's time to change up or is this woman that called me today wanting to build a future with me? color blind means nothing to me. the way it shows you need one that's faithful. By writing these songs my daughter will be taking care of me. someone said I'm not going to say his name. when people see you succeeding those be the ones that usually change up. it's there I'm going down as one of the last of a dying breed. I can't change that. while I'm here I promise to raise hell.

Heartz of men. takes notes about the game. ninjas getting passes every day. if you know who's talking about my life story make sure they tell it the right way. it means nothing to me for an outsider to tell others what to do. but when it's coming from somebody that knows the game. You do not want to hear it. connect come on I need something I can sink my teeth in. do not make me wait for it. you can either hit me through a song. just let me know what's going on. when I talk I talk for real and things I say do happen.

Dumpin' yeah, it's hell on earth. let's see where this leads me. in the order, you pay attention to ninjas that are getting money. you can get all that you can get out of this game. if a ninja tries to take my life. I'm shielded the electricity will come inside of your soul. You think my angels won't let you take me without a fight. so I'm getting to this work and got this butterfly on my foot. didn't Jesus cross his legs? yes, it's on the side. the bottom left under and the right on top. universal is black what do you know about that?

It's times like this that one needs to get what one can get out of this game. the way I should. yes, it's hard. but we must fight to overcome. staying together as one can help so much. if you cannot understand that there's no need to talk about black lives matter. People we are killing each other. it doesn't matter as long as we get what we want out of it. the thought of coming together is something everyone needs to work on. traveling home just thinking about. all the good one can do by helping others.

This is the shit I'm talking about. excuse me for being blunt. who needs you when you always handling your business. I cannot get out of these streets. yes, I can move on with my life. my goal is to never let my family down. living for my kids can be so easy who doubted? Open up spots for two kinds. if it ain't the same treatment you throw out. that's the same treatment you get out of me. you got to watch your back for real. I live for my life to get better. looking out of the eyes of a man that been through a lot of hard times and is still able to get up and stand tall.

When you're silent about a lot of things. knowing the ones that pass are looking down at me. wondering where we went wrong. I can hear pac saying stay on my job. never let up keep grinding with no worries. wife looking down at the kid like that's how you handle your business. Fall off one day who knows? Lord have mercy on my soul. I'm asking why you pick me for this task. maybe I'm the one you trusted. I promise I won't let you down by any means. yes, I'm going to keep building until my last breath.

Don't sleep, wake up like this. this is fucked up. this game got me in my feelings never. we have gone ride with my pistol by my side. you want that left dot out of the baby nine. nobody wants to see you doing good. the whole world me and the mob getting marry. Irish a ninja would. this isn't anything for ninjas to be fucking with, S.M.M. yes that's who I'm down with. the second degree should be 100. I can't see maybe it could be me being color blind. a lot of yellow back. 5 popping which game are you playing? slashes stay on my job. can't wait to wake up don't sleep.

Holding her one more time in my arms is all I want to do. you think you can make that dream come true. I will be grateful trust me, your love is one of a kind. I know no man can love you better than the man you have now and that man is me. thinking about our children if it’s true and I’m not doubting it but Lord have mercy. you just had twins, I asked to see them and that’s exactly what you did for me. early in the morning. if there’s anything you need me to do I will do it. y’all get me roused up.

I’m wondering when will she call me in the middle of the night to wake me up. you always randomly hit me like that to see if I’m sleeping. I guess that’s her way to tell me she’s in the bed with panties on and a bra on and a t-shirt on. baby wake me up just make sure it’s on the weekend. are you trying to tell me that you are not scared of one night with me? that will turn into eternity, let me get my popcorn because of the way this movie is playing out. you need me to be more romantic. how about we get in the shower together?

                                                             CHAPTER 126

She left early to see me in the morning as I asked. I’m the one for you in my heart I want to show you how my heart can’t status. that means stay true to me and I will stay true to you. the one that I love is y’all. if you are out clubbing a real man won’t look at you. anyway, a man like me and that man be me. I’m looking for the ones that are working hard. when they retire pension to support their life. I’m working hard too so I can bring something to the table. the ones that are looking into the future. not the ones that are thinking about fronting right now.

If you look into my eyes you will see a man with deep emotions. I can’t tell y’all how much I love y’all. thank you for looking after me. I remember being in my apartment in convent. I had all of the ladies. some stayed the ones that were close to me. went and did their thing I’m kinder happy because I have new females that show this kid love. you shouldn’t feel like you owe anyone any explanation about what you have been through. I told y’all over and over I did nothing wrong.

So if I’m going threw withdrawals. how can you help me? when you tell me I have to wait before you give me your love. this shit doesn’t make any sincere. how long am I supposed to wait. when you were getting out of the shower? walking into the room with nothing but a towel on. lotion in up saying to yourself that thang is all mine and I accept. my mother asked to see a picture of you and your sister. she said you look just like your mother. I guess I’m on dubs if not let me know. children better are mine.

Bring your whole crew if that’s what you aim for. I will knock down the whole team one by one on Damu. you better straighten up and no I’m not upset. let’s just keep it clean. the red always lives in the city, the blessing is greater than any hate you keep doing your thang. Mark my words I’m here for you too. please don’t count me out. 510 she hit me with 1500 in blood codes. I said get back to me and Damu said I got back at you. you know who this is for. you gone let this dog in the door.

I'm going down from here. if I make it. it will be 711 albums. spending time with you. I'm glad that I have you in my life. I'm looking at the ones that are at home with me. I'm not looking at the ones that are in clubs with other men. keep mine to me and I will keep yours to you. by faith in God, we will be together trust God. when he gave Jesus his power. that man will be great with the right females in his life. I'm not letting you leave me. this is hard but for y'all, I'm willing to accomplish it.

I know I can be dying smart with love in you. hiding connection to you with us as one. being together in a time like right now. money comes with trust do you have that in yourself? planning this run and it's just starting. it should get better because I'm all in. you set this up because you want to see me win so I won. one thing I have learned is respecting your women. uplift her soul and keep her with you. so she doesn't have to be on these streets. kids yes I think about them every day from the time I get up until I go to sleep.

Yes, it's me and I'm not going anywhere feel me. you want diamonds you want money you want to shop until you drop. you should ask how long I'm willing to go. you can dig deep in my pockets and feel me. you can have whatever it is you want out of life. you are not dealing with a regular man. the more I get money the more you can spend. your cards have no limit understand me. this is what you get dealing with someone like me. price what you see you like it you buy it shorty.

Thank you for being a friend to me and a lover. you are truly appreciated from the bottom of my heart. when you have ladies that make sure you take care of the household. thus far I’m all yours, I’m not trying to hide any secrets from you. this is our love in this form, so either you messing with me or not. the Apple sure does not fall far from the tree. you always cover me from anything that can harm me. so for that, I owe you my life without you what will I be doing? I have no idea. so continue to be that strong woman.

Is that you saying I'm your first love baby? let's break this down so I can get an understanding of what you just said. if that person follows you and has good intentions for you. do you keep her in your life yes why not? if she is doing everything the right way for you. so I'm here to tell you to keep up the great work as my woman. the reason I don't want you outside like that. mainly because I don't want you sleeping with different men. I put you under my arms for a reason. you are a queen and I'm going to treat you like one.

Pressure is a son of a blank. she keeps telling me to man up and handle the business. I'm like what's the sense of all of this? she said all of what and I said you tell me you love me this much. she said because this is how much I adore you. I said thank you for staying in my corner. she said what's next I said summer is coming. this is the conversation we had. I said what if I hang out then boom find another woman and she scoops me right from under your eyes.

                                                                CHAPTER 127

You got me running around losing my mind. knowing dam well you look at me differently. tell me what I have to do for you. I’m praying for you and me. I know what I have in you. so why would I let you go? you saw me at my worst and you saw me at my best. this goes out to you. so watch my back because I need you. I’m on the right path growing up as a man. I don’t want to be doing only gangster shit. this pit bull is a red nose. the way to train me. show me that you are faithful to your man. look me in my eyes and tell me you care.

 

You don't want to make me look foolish. so she reacts to me. so I can be a better man. you are to show your woman that you love her. yes, she looks just like me, you have my heart trust that. I don't want you to go. so I'm giving this here my all. just in case you are insecure. I'm telling you that you don't have to worry about another woman. this goes out to all that's in love with me. make sure you bring the best out in your man. a man wants a woman that's about her business.

When Chucky was on his mission in the movies. I was handling business like he was in real life. when the seed of Chucky came out. I met lay and exchange my soul for Aaliyah's soul. so she can walk in this life on earth. you know who you is so just be her. I’m pissed off at you because in the movie she became the mother of Chucky is I right. yes, I am because I watched the movie just like everyone else. I’m trying to explain to you something it’s up to you whether you take what I’m saying.

How can I start to talk to a female? I think females that got their shit together are sexy as hell. I mean just by being faithful in a relationship. a woman that doesn’t take any shit from a man. one that doesn’t need a man for anything but me being a man I want to do for you. how many lifelines I have. this was my last one but I rise it up. what do you know about having a 1on1 lifeline? east side all the time. I love women that can help their mango in the right direction. one that knows how to take charge in a relationship.

I have thoughts in my mind that everything’s going to be okay. I just got a call from my mother telling me that you know who is thankful. she also said that she has to get out of her shell and listen she does not I repeat not have to rush. I’m working and she’s taking care of the children. when that time comes it will come. we have to let it happen naturally. you took the words right out of my mouth. we should always have a plan A before plan B come into place. also, you should be the giving person you are.

This is the part where I say you did so much for me. I can’t imagine leaving your side. the game you may take a fall but you have to get right back up. my soul was so hurt when mother called and said you want to yell. I said I want you and then I said summer arrives in a minute. what does this mean for me, when you call I will be on my way to the house. I’m not going to be out like that. what do you want from me care I’m giving you that, love I’m showing you that. the affection I want to hold you in my arms. pictures on my phone of you. this is what you told my mother to tell me and I did it.

I also remember meeting mother on your block and she said you met someone. on 7ave and he was driving a Mercedes-Benz and you said he was 22 years old. now that I think about it that's when you got pregnant right? you took what song I'm not even going to say. passing was shotgun. I also remember when I called mother she said y'all were on the corner. I said is there anything y'all need. you called me and asked for one hundred dollars. I came to the house and you rush me and for the first time, I said no but gave it to you the next week.

Do you clap back or let the people run with the game? that you have laid out. by the way I'm trying to get money. someone asked how much is too much money. you ain't never rich in this game. it's all loving what link and I was talking about. didn't he knock you out that's why you're mad. I know I can never trust people because I get money and who stops their money me that's who. I love a bad hitch shorty hitting my pockets. it ain't tricking if you got it. I'm sitting on a sycamore tree never again feel me.

At first, I didn't see what you were hinting at but now I see it. you always include me in your life and I'm thankful. you watch and see and have learned well from me. you are starting to act just like me. putting your mind on what you believe and for that, I will bring you a bottle of Moet tomorrow. if you wanted to know this my mother was born the day your daughter from her is one month and sixteen days. that's another sign of you being Aaliyah.

Yo growing up in a place where people carry wires on them and trust they are ready to use them.  as the person am I. I have to watch my back. this here ain't about these females. if you are trustworthy you live a long time. so don't worry about what happened in the past and move forward. I'm trying to keep the show on for you. I want the money fuck the fame. you can have that because my children can eat off of books. I want y'all in school, handle that and you will have everything you want.

                                                                     CHAPTER 128

I'm not too busy if you want me in your life. I will stop whatever it is I'm doing to give you my full attention baby. you are the one that I work this hard for and when I say you I mean you. the life we have is full of love. I want you to be able to buy what you need in this world. this is how I see it. you keep me sane why do you. she said because you need to focus on what it is that you are doing and I said I Noah. thank you for understanding.

If I say our anniversary is coming and I'm missing you. I want to pick up the phone to call you. you are so distant why is that? the only thing you have to do is say you want me in your life. I can't get over it y'all are having my children without me having sex with you. the reason people may ask is how he wasn't Jesus born without his father touching his wife. I have this dot in my hand. you know what that means right? when I went under murder then boom I'm having children now.

For all of the people in Birmingham. y'all know my child lay lay is down there. so y'all should be treating her as if I'm there. buy her things take her out and call her to check up on her. they said don't worry that is what we are doing. you know we have her back because her mother let her move down here. we know her mother changed her life into another female and we respect her. treat her just like you would treat your child and if you don't have children. treat her like she's yours. 

Strike one you missed strike two you missed. the third one she's fine as hell. I remember playing Nintendo you showed up when I asked you to. if this was my playing field. you get a pass for looking so thick. girl listen you know you got what I need to bring this man home. you are up to bat I hope you hit a home run. that ass is so fat you almost got me aroused. your body is so sexy. you were dressed so nicely everything was clean on your body. I want back-to-back hits.

Tell me how can I control this pain that I have, you are bad for me in a good way. relationships start with trust you have to know your partner. this is why you get to know someone before jumping into a relationship. you give her gifts to show you love her. even when you get with her you always remind her why she first got into a relationship with you. you have to keep the fire burning in your relationship. shower her with things if she’s worth it. it will be senseless to be in a toxic relationship.

How can you help a man be a man? this is the question that most women want us to answer right. let me let you in on a little secret be there for him. never tell him he can do something especially when it has to do with his manhood. the way the game goes let him fail by himself. she said that's some bad advice and I said why. she said because if he's my man I want him to win. that was a little test to see what you were going to say and you said exactly what a man wants to hear. so continue to be that woman that I need.

My lucky charm this only happens once in a while. you get dressed and I take you out and we show you out in the city. the first time I asked you do you want to go to a concert and you said what you said. I fell right to sleep. please don't forget I asked you did you want to go to the movies or to get something to eat. I still want my date or are you curving me? be that woman that keeps her promise and stays down for me. I know we have some disagreements. I'm working on myself so you should work on yourself. so when we come together we have everything straightened.

Are u still down? I can't get upset about the fact that you want me. I mean look at me don't I look good? she said you have a big head. I said that ain't never mind to grow for you. by the way how old are you. she said I'm old enough for you. I said nowadays females be young and I can't get caught up with that. by the way the last time I had any sexual contact I was 18 years old. she said you are still wet behind the ears. I said yeah I still have Simlack on my breath. so what does that means I can't lay it down and she said we just have to see.

I remember when you were going to college. I gave you the money to pay your tuition. someone to love you I know we all have ruff ends. you got into the school because you pass your test. I have been here from the beginning ever since I came back home. you know it's funny because as I'm trying to get on my feet. your mother called me over to where she was at. oh, she wants me in your life but is that something that you want? you have to let me know if that's something that you think about and if so take your time.

I remember my First Lady. you made everything seem so senseless to me because you would tell me to do something and I would back talk to you. life has a very funny way of spreading love. I’m so into you and please don’t doubt me because you are my first love. if I had a perfect life you would be in it. life grows with us together. I never want to let this feeling go. I lost you once and I don’t plan on losing you again. it’s funny how women can make a man stand his ground. I want us to look life right in the eyes.

                                                              CHAPTER 129

This global warming yes it’s getting hot outside but trust me. I’m not looking for another woman. for those that are with me, my heart is content trust me. when I look at the family we have built. let no man or women come in between us. y’all mean the world to me. I have so much love for y’all. I would lay down my life for my children. trust me there is plenty of time my life was on the line. this is for anyone that has lost someone close to them. I know my wife is resting in heaven knowing I’m not crossing her.

You have to make life the best that you can. I’m trying to leave the mothers of my children something to pass down to my children. if Jesus is in me he will deliver life in a new light because it sure gets dark. climbing on clouds can be a great trip. people look at me like I’m the enemy. I have learned people that who are close to you will change. I shouldn’t look for people to support me as long as I’m supporting myself. when I make it by remaining strong until that day comes, I’m going to ride it out.

The more I work the more I’m tired. I know my family and I want this more than ever. so I have to finish this. I’m never moving fast I like to move at my pace. I don’t want to close the book right now. so just pray for me. I know I’m not Writing a song about guns so much because my family doesn’t want to hear that. I’m trying to cater to my family's mind. this is what got me in the mood to start writing about how much I love them. sometimes I may talk about the other stuff. I need y’all to understand that this man is in your life.

Being that strong man for the ones that love me and trust I love them back. it's so hard fighting this fight without you here or are you in this lady's soul? you have to talk to me more. so I can understand what you are thinking. so your friend started this conversation, not controversy. you bet not show your ass either. when I say ether I'm saying got to get her. you are my woman right? so be that woman that our children can look up to. I'm here for you if you don't change I will not change you.

You ought to look into what you are doing before jumping into something else. I know there are other men in this world. I know they have flashy cars and houses and nice clothes. you want something that you can see or something that's building for eternal life. building wealth is hard buying it comes and goes. what about putting our children in a position where the children will benefit in the future cause that's what I'm doing for them. how about when we get up in age we can look back and say we did that for our children.

Crossing the street with your auntie running to me. I asked you did you want something from the store and you said yes. oh before I forget you hugged me. your auntie walking behind us and I open the store door and you walked in, I held the door for your auntie. we got in the store and you pulled a dollar and your auntie said put your money away. you got what you wanted from the store and then your auntie said say thank you and you did just that. you walking with your uncle I saw you and you ran to me and asked me for some money and I said how much and you said I don't know.

The plan is to stack how much I can stack for a rainy day. my children need to know that I will show them that it's a better life that I am building for them. this shit is hard sometimes I feel like giving up. people from here don't mess with me. why because I keep it real and I'm not like these other ninjas out here who dick rides for money. you have to live up to your expectation. it's all right to be a real one, I can't trust these females because one might try to set me up and I can't have that.

Your plan has to be the same as my plan or else we will get mixed up. I remember walking to 151st early in the morning and you looked at me like am I going to work? I looked back at you and in my mind said I have to be there in the afternoon. another time you and your sister were walking up the block together and you said you want me. she just looked at me with these stars of love in her eyes. I take nothing back because you have shown me that you are her and I respect that.

I pumped mad shit when I was young. if 12 got a document you know it's been 27 years. I have been handling my business. get your money young kids while I want to see y'all win. some of these people my age don't like me for what. this goes out to all blocks I'm from 151 convents. this is where I did my dirt. then started hanging on the hill you know we all from the hill battleground. this makes it harder to blank me. sure I had to throw that vest on. so Jesus and God can watch me.

Are you still in love with me? it's funny you never show it. your friend said you and her were in a bad situation in your past relationship. is that telling me something because you got my mind blank up? it seems like things never changed with us. you say one thing then do another. how am I supposed to get it? you are bad in a good way. if you put up a fight I will put up a fight to stay together for as long as we can tolerate one another.

                                                                 CHAPTER 130

Here we go with my mother telling me about her niece that's pregnant. I want to know do this has anything to do with seasons change because if it's mine. I'm willing to be the best father that I can be. when I look at the picture that you said look at. yes, she looks like me and you name her Leah for what. I'm digging deep into what is said and reading more into the words y'all use. yes, I want to keep you right here with me because I'm a lucky man with you beside me.

The way she parts my hair the way she takes her hands and put braids in my hair. dear Lord, I know she's a strong educated woman. the way she expresses herself and uses big words. you will think she's a woman of God because of the way she speaks. she said something that stood out to me. she said some people are smart visually and that's how I am smart. for every man get you one that understands you because the relationship will go a long way. she called me honey I should've said, bye baby.

The closer I get to you. Do you want me to tell you more, Do you understand so far what I have written, and if so can I get an amen? you should always help people because that's where your blessings come from. that's why I put this young lady under my wings. so I can show her the right way and for her not to be in the streets. letting her understand that I care for her and I love her with all of my heart. from the beginning, we form a close friendship that turned into a family right, or am I mistaken?

If you getting down let it be felt that you get down. this blank shit was way different back in the day. we would've never let people in it without getting initiated. some of y'all never did that 31 seconds and never put work in. back then you had to be strong-minded in this game. what's hood with all this gangster shit? nobody knows when Jesus was resurrected. that's why this has so many different days. UBN was always under one umbrella. nowadays people fight amongst one another.

So a man never wants a female that has kids by someone else. the only thing that’s going to happen is you have more kids. I just want to back away from that situation but people keep calling me. I can’t make up my mind because she did her thing meanwhile I was handling my business. she writes things like she’s looking for a new relationship. please just go on without keeping me hanging around. the more you do and I don’t know. the more the hate build up for y’all. so if you see this post let me go my way.

I just saw a post that said the people that used you don’t get upset about it. he also said it might look good but it’s not. he also said don’t get mad just move on with your life and that’s what I plan on doing. he also said the people that showed you love when you were helping them out and then that person stop calling you. something like that happened in my life. it doesn’t matter because I’m setting up general wealth for the ones that are here with me. it doesn’t bother me because I’m looking into the future of my kid.

Calling me last night to ask me something about did I watch smoky Robinson but I didn’t answer the phone. you called back the next day when you want to talk to one another. let’s see how this is going to play out. you say you are good and mingling, you called to tell me that, and then when I say something you respond differently. I’m going to write about whatever’s going on in my life. this is what a writer does so get used to it. the next move is on you so make your move wisely feel me.

She understands that I put so much into this relationship or what would you call it? you want me to stick around and I just don’t know why. yes, you wanted to start with me because I was minded my business out here. I know it hurts the way life is going but trust me I’m in your corner. it seems like you want me to leave. if that’s so just let me know by never calling again. then I will get the hint and move on. you can’t keep me around just to be around. I know names connect and that’s the important part, right?

You say you gonna love me. I know you want to fight over the text I just sent but what are you going to do? you always showing your ass. you think I’m out here cheating on you but the real question is are you cheating on me? you want that rough sex I know I’m not acting the way you want me to. you have me thinking double time because I’m wondering what if you are cheating. you don’t want to let me come into your life. this is that shit that gets me upset for real.

Let’s just get down to it. I’m not going to fight with you when you feel like fighting. you better straighten up and get your act together before I leave. is this a sign that you want out of this relationship? you have taken everything that I own. so I have a problem with it nope. you have my mind breaking down. I need to man up and stand on my two feet and put one foot forward before you leave me. you better understand this will never happen again. you have to turn the cross on Jesus' back to get to my heaven.

                                                              CHAPTER 131

You want me to be or not. I have concluded that you want out. you lose the person that wants you the most. only time will tell if this going to be until the end of time. if I tell you that I love you what do you say to that? you made your mind up with or without me. the pictures were for Holding this special place in my heart for you. the woman that I need in my life. I gotta be the one you love. do you promise me what I have promised you? if not then walk out right now before this heart that I have get hurt.

Damu you know the kid run threw the city. who side are you on I see shit but we can keep the small talk for others. I wake up with the bull shit on my mind. ain’t know yellow back over here and if you want me to be Mr. freeze I am for you. for those that don’t know that knowledge that I just kick. the First one who’s pussy, not me and the second one means I’m falling in love. you will never catch me 801 and if you don’t know what that means it means stress. you know when you want me to talk to you. that blood knowledge comes out of me o50!

Where does this get me? when you say ask me a question and that’s what I did. I hope you see threw it and be there for me. if you walk like her this is exactly the way she would be acting. you tell me what you want me to say to you. I’m going crazy as time gets longer. I’m falling more and more in love with you. I can’t make up my mind because you have this thang on me. this is for everyone that’s in my life. yes, I love y’all with my whole heart because we are together. I changed my whole life up just to be here with you.

 

You say you love me. I just want you to show me. no one’s going to come between us. you have a man in me. having a man that wants to make all of your dreams come true. are you shame of me or do you respect me and look up to me? if it rains I will put my raincoat on just to be safe. what do you think telling me you want a son? please take your time. only time will tell if we are meant for one another. this here shows me that you are ready to be with me.

All My life I have been looking for someone like you and I have found you. I don’t want to give up on this thang called love. you ought to take what I have said and believe in me. you are my queen. I want to walk until the end of the road to be with you. I thank God for putting my family in my life. I’m able to take care of my business because of y’all. you put this smile on my face no bullshitting. I ask God every day what made him put y’all in my life. I think because I have been a good man to anyone that I came in counter with.

I know you changed your mind and decided to be with me. my world is going up and down. can you show me how to love you? I need help she said you can’t manhandle. nine out of ten times she will cook you something to eat. if you deserve it because that’s how you can tell a woman is digging into you. let me say this my brother Bleek had his daughter on the 4th of July and you had your daughter on the 7th. what’s the math in that, that is something that I wanted to say. what I have found about the connection you have connected to who has no names.

I will do anything for you. when I spotted you that day. I felt a connection to you. I’m trying can’t y’all see that some men only have a couple of children? I have to take care of a lot of children can you count because I lost count. I didn’t let y’all down, right? I see you looking at me and I’m looking at you. when was the last we laid down and took care of our emotions roller coaster? it’s been a while right am I sitting here getting mad no. I’m working to take care of the responsibilities that I have. I’m working overtime to make up for the time I missed.

The things y’all do for me. uplifting me helping me get past the temptation of other females. when you want a home to call your own. you will risk it all for the ones you love. if you have God By your side anything is capable of happen in your life. when I came back home. I took it one day at a time. I never moved too fast he was telling me to slow down. this is why I stopped smoking because it was bothering me. I had to get back on my job and handled business. the way it’s supposed to be handled.

You know that being here makes this grown man. if I was in the streets hustling it may end badly. I have people that work for me and I’m talking about the connections that I have. why do you think I do this? it’s either you are a friend or foe you can’t be both because playing two sides can get people killed. I was always the one to hold my family down because I love them. I’m trying to write my wrong into my rights. so you and my children can look me in the eyes and I can look them in their eyes. I have a lot of love inside my heart.

Falling for who and why do things have to be so difficult to get to know you? asking a question like that cause a man think other than what he is thinking. her mind can be on that or the question wanted a direct answer and that's what I gave her. we have to stick together until we can figure this out. the love I have for my family. y'all know how a man moves and what he wants to hear right? I guess that's a women's intuition, so I just have to sit back and let her lead.

                                                                  CHAPTER 132

I'm not lying you are my queen believe me. I want this life we have to continue to go the way it is going. you uplift this king make me feel like I'm the only one you want in your life. I need a girl. I'm in it for now and forever. you say you want one that you can build with. I'm tricking no I call this taking care of the women in my life. even God had a mother when Jesus was born. the mother of Jesus was a virgin and the dot that I have in my hand was the birth seed right or wrong.

I still remember the first time I laid eyes on you. I called your mother and she said that you were missing in action. I know that means you miss Ellison. you always know what to say to me. you always have the right words to describe how I'm feeling or what I am thinking thank you. I listen and learn from what you say. you want me to have a deep thought about what I hear. this is for all of the ladies that are in my life I love y'all. you plan and this is what you get. the outcome is greater and I appreciate it.

Yeah, I copied you. when I saw you wearing Adidas I went and coped a pair just to match you. you have to a meant we use to dress similarly to one another. meaning when you walked down the ramp. you felt like something was wrong but trust me nothing is going on when we stopped seeing one another. you put fake shades on to tell me to stay outside longer. like I said there can't be dark and light in the same place at the same time understand? things sure do have a domino effect. so let's put this in its proper perspective. we fight every moment to stay in each other life.

My ninjas get down at any time trust me. can you look a man in his eyes and take his soul to the upper level. that means you are a real ninja. no that does not define gangster shit. when you are a family man that makes you a man. that is something that I want to be looked at. so my kids know I care for them. seeing y'all today y'all are the ones I do this for. anyone can blow off a ninja top but can you educate a generation to do better than us? shit is only getting harder in these streets blacks killing blacks. you can impress me by teaching men.

What is the price you are willing to pay for your children to have more than you had? you asking me if I'm willing to lay down if it comes to it but you have to worry about this dot that I have in my hand because it controls the rain feel me. Will she love you or will she love you not? the notes that you have to write down is she's here now. if I was doing her dirty then I can see her doing her thing if something happen to me. I better get my shit tighter and dam I can never light up again. spark one of them blunts for me on Damu.

What I don't understand and what I won't tolerate is you walking out of my life.  I'm willing to put up this fight until my life is over. the greatest thing the devil did was make people think he doesn't exist. I know the truth all of the Gods are the same with different personalities. I think they were born in different rounds and they are trapped in me. if you don't believe me then what I write you can't comprehend. the way people counted me out and for God to bless me and give me the strength to overcome obstacles feel so good no cap.

Believe what you want just know that I love my family. the family will always be a part of my heart. my biggest fear is my family leaving because of something that I did. thank you for the Birthday wish. you know who I am talking to. I know we have come a long way to be a family. I promise as long as I'm able to take care of our family I will trust myself. even if I hit the ground I will never let y'all fall with me. the man is supposed to grind hard for his children and the mother of my kids. the love will remain here.

Hi, y'all the loves of my life. this wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for you trusting and believing that. growing up is real when you have females that love you the way you love them. holding your hand walking down the street and you looking at me like it's all love thank you. coming home seeing this fine woman and I know she's with me. I want to know if my mind playing tricks on me. silly rabbit tricks are for kids. my kids are great so fighting with the inner me isn't something that I'm playing into trust me.

Shit happens its what you do when something happens. put your two hands up and fight or yell at one another. being a grown man means not getting into an altercation with anyone. you are a grown man this replayed inside of my mind. this is something that my wife will say to me. you have to keep your head up, one way you cross the street with a hoodie on your head, and the other one you are dressed down. looking as good as you want to look both looks are stunning. always remember that okay?

While you lay there thinking about me. meanwhile, I’m thinking about you. I know when I’m sleeping I dream of you. I’m trying to get inside of you. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. you know I feel you. we need to work more on ourselves to be a better man for you. you erotic let me get on top of you. I’m telling you everything that you want to hear. I promise to show out when that day comes when you let me inside of you. is this a double take you're fine as hell trust me? I only have eyes for you.

                                                                  CHAPTER 133

She’s saying make sure I have her back haven’t I. all I try to do to make sure you are okay in this lifetime. I stood up and handled the business at hand for you. there wasn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you. a lot of females say women shouldn’t depend on a man. I’m the man in your life and I want you to depend on me. shit, I been here all of your life taking care of you. why leave women that I can see myself spending the rest of my life with for women that sleep with different men all of the time?

What if I want to lock what we started and never let it go. the times have changed for sure. we only see one another once in a while but when I see you looking as good as you look. I know everything’s taken care of. from me to you baby you are my heart. I want to make you proud of me. it doesn’t matter how long it takes trust me. I’m doing my best to show you. how a man feels when he is in love with you. the goal is to get all of y’all in one house. when that happens y’all will be walking around in t-shirts and panties can’t wait.

What will a female do if you walk out of her life with everything that you own? I’m sitting here wondering if that’s option no. when we have it bad for one another. yes, I’m thinking about you. she should know if she wants in this relationship she has to give up the good. I think she already knows that and if she doesn’t tap her on her shoulder tell her. it might be hard but if she can break that habit for me. she probably already wants it and is not scared of the night we spend together. side by side is always an A plus.

Picture me rolling in a 500 honey bent over this microphone on another level feel me. ninjas tried to blaze me once. I hear you loud and clear. okay, what have people you dealt with shown you other than the streets? banging for the wrong people out here. I move doe low out here and never really asked people for anything except a handful of people and anyone that I ever did business with me knows how I get down. I do this for people without a voice people that once were in the streets but are not in the streets anymore.

When you get to the money females will come for you. you can’t mess with females that just want to be with you for the money you make. ninja when mase needed help he called me that’s who. they are saying what you do to a camera that you throw away when you finish with it disposable right like sporty. so keep that shit the only reason is that I’m getting older and raising my children is something that I take great pride in and any man that wants to be there for his children would say.

As I was addicted to the dark side. y'all can keep listening to them. let me tell you how it started right. my friend and I were walking down the block on 150 and this person came up to us and told us about two girls right to make a long story short. I have respect for you and always will. later on, said he was going to fight me over it. I'm walking to his block to talk to him about it and he wilding ran up on me. the reaction I swang and hit him, mother call me and told me to say sorry. this is where all of these problems come from. I knew seven sisters at first but that was a way to sleep with one of them.

I'm here to help put people in a position to win. what you want from me. you got her and have children by her. remember you started this so it's on for life. you always say people like me told on who. this blood shit means Damu is in my hand. what you bang for you not watching other blood. you want people to handle the business that you have on these streets. if you can't understand this isn't for you. the only thing the streets have is black justice or death. why do you want people to have only two options? you should want to better yourself and the people around you.

Back that up why are you acting like that? PAC told me to handle this business before I lay down with anyone. you need to be stable in life. you should always stay on your job before you get sidetracked. meanwhile, you playing a game that everyone is in. so get money while you are here on earth. people say money is the root of all evil. pay attention to the ones that do anything for the love of money. New jack city opens up another spot. let them seize work that only means I have to pay them for my work to get back in my possession.

What you see is what you get bottom line. hustle hard or don't hustle at all feel me. you get into this game with thoughts that you are going to be a winner. playing outside where people get bodied during an action. that take place by making moves on these streets. the connect I'm still looking to see more out of y'all beware of the dogs. doing only gangster shit 5 popping red light green light. this is my body unity love lust and soul. we have to stay with one another if we plan on moving forward in this life. I don't want to go to black justice feel me.

If I can turn her head maybe this wouldn’t be so hard. I don’t know if she loves me but I’m trying everything to keep her with me. if another man comes in and scoops her up. I will be upset because she’s a nice woman. who am I playing with her mindset maybe on another man? the reason may be a reason that I can’t fix right because I’m not there in a physical form. I want her to know my heart is there and trust me it’s in the right place. when you have two people that love to work will get the job done.

                                                             CHAPTER 134

Sitting back watching you take the route that will get you to your destination and that is with me. I’m following the man upstairs he has shown me the way to love women. growing pains always get to me because it hurts my heart that you are so beautiful. my mind turns off and on riding with you until eternity that’s how it’s supposed to be. I’m asking for some more blessings because Lord knows I need them. what’s a World without the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with?

Sitting here catching up on empire it’s so hard knowing that it’s talking about stages a man takes to get his life back together was hard. one thing I know I will never let her go because she is my strong belief. this one lady I’m looking at wanting to be active with. I’m trying to understand if this is something that she wants. naming kids after names that are close to me. I’m wondering when I went under murder like I did they drain you know what out of me not knowing if I was or was not going to make it out alive Thoughts.

Grinding became one of my strongest points when she yes came inside of me. I remember the dream I had, it was a dream that I will never forget. it was a portal between sex money murder a camcorder was recording me looking out like next will be left eye. then inside of me released and I woke up at 5:38 and the morning news said that you pass away on a plane and instantly my heart broke. then next left eye passed away, and this young lady helped me put the pieces back together in my life.

Sorting out problems that can happen if you don’t protect the one you love. it’s so many things that you can do for her. like make her the queen of your castle for real, show her things that she has saw be mindful of your surroundings and keep a close eye on her. she needs to know that you care for her and respect her and you will provide anything for her. I’m not just saying this to make you believe it. I’m saying this to let you know that the love we share is contagious to me.

This that shit you can vibe with before you know it you're in these streets handling business. you feel like you can’t be touched and then the feds have you locked up and then they say they have an indictment on you. shit, I don’t want to go down like that so I have to stay ten toes down. the way you move will determine if you will stay out here on these streets with your family. you can’t turn a blind eye to street codes. the way I see things I have to get this shit taken care of before it’s too late. so you should make wiser moves.

If I say thank you so do you think I mean it? the smarter the more beautiful you become. talking isn’t one of my strongest points. the game the streets kept this man's mouth shut because I don’t want people to think I will tell on them. you follow what the streets say no that’s not true but if you are going to play this game. you accept the responsibility that comes with it. the only thing that keeps me out of the streets is y’all and my kids. I want to live to see them get older. this is what gangster is to me. I’m not turning my back on y’all.

I don’t think about leaving this earth now but if it came to that. will you continue to be faithful to me? what I can’t see or feel touching on your body. when was the last time you had sexual contact oh my fault. she said never or if she did it was only with me is that right yes. I want to see what that thang hit for, you are making me wait this long it better be some gold thang. she said don’t worry about that she got me. let’s just take our time you don’t have to rush baby. I requested you to be in my life is that right yes.

Get money until the day I die never give up fuck that shit. you know this is the way my mother raised me. if I die tonight. you can’t feel my pain before you judge me walk a day in my shoes. this is the way people give it up in the streets. telling ain’t in my blood follow the way this young man ride or die. only God knows when he wants me to meet my shorty. she might I hope she’s on this earth right here with me. everything adds up so yes this is my last breath. I’m knowing I have to keep my foot on this game neck never fall off and try never to fail.

Calling a female out by her name is something that I won’t do. we never fought or yelled at one another. we have to be teammates if we want this world to be ours. we came too far so let’s continue to prosper and live life to the fullest. I want you to have all of the glamorous things that this world has in it. we have to give thanks to the highest. this is his body if I had nine lives and this one was the last one to see if I’m strong enough to be him. I had to go through so much torture to get where I am today.

Yo, I've been waiting for some time now, what is the hold up on that white girl? it seems like it's taking a long to show that things are still moving out there. this is all for gangsters all across the world. if this shit doesn't stop from being who after who and keep it on the low. how can we pull together and take care of the game that we are in. everybody wants to be a boss. listening to you know who it was all good a week ago. you think that gangster shit would've got dam you would've handled what. you weren't even there back in the days paid in full.

                                                                CHAPTER 135

Baby don't cry it seems like this man that used to love her yeah right. Are you saying all of this just to capitalize off of this? you had a baby by your wifey for life right? this is one of the reasons she came inside of me. what people don't want to see the truth but Harlem does. every person in this bitch going to feel me. even if this means over my dead body. I'm trying to do all I can do from the jump. he's like a talkative female who always wants to make it about him yeah right I'm here.

Covering you because I'm in your life until the end. baby, I don't ask for much but when I ask. you should do because this here will be there for you for the rest of your life. you have all of my time, you have shown your ass once too many. so now it's my time again to show you how I can get down. you know I'm just playing this home I love. you do things for me that I need. in this lifetime I promise to show you that I don't want anyone else. being a woman is hard I know as men we have to uplift you and guide you in the right direction.

I remember walking across the street. walking passed the store to see something that stayed in my mind. wondering if I will ever touch her because if he did then I don't want to. I can't see myself putting my man inside of a female that another man hit. if this is not true then we got something going on. I'm saying this just to let you know I'm not playing double relate because this is for the females that have been faithful to me. talking about I told on who or ran yeah right. when the bloods started wilding out because of me. people know what it is before. I'm going to mac feel me.

We have this thought that people from other parts of Harlem love us. every time I saw said he showed love to me. I'm just sitting here thinking how can this be true. the life people take from others for what. the fight and the grind are all a part of the hustle. the game females will set you up. this is why I'm not in a relationship right now. you have to watch your back at all times. take me, for example, it is the ones that know you that set you up. I trusted so-called females and they stabbed me in the back. dealing don't bring scared business to me.

Let me break this down going threw this shit to get some more tracks done. followed you for this long and now I'm to the next one. The picture says so much I got you. you think I'm falling behind but I don't think so. I'm getting to this money I still have to see out of my third eye feel me. this shit might go over your head. this is the roc feel me. you need to understand that we will never fail. we will still be on top of the game. how can you oversee the man that's still on his feet and continue to stay strong in this game?

What were females doing when the kid was out of town? let me guess this person keeps. letting me know that he had her so what. whoever feels some kind of way. you say you are on some uplifting shit but keep ringing my bells get off me. I'm not worrying about any of them. I see where this is going y'all all on the other side. this is the game live by it or die by it and I can't let a hitch lead me in the wrong direction. it's so many females out here. I have to make up my mind about which one I want. if I may ask what's the outcome just pay attention now.

I want what from me to you mix this flow into this gangster shit. I hope this shit still sticks with you from when we were young. you said I'm supposed to rap right after you on my life. so you say I can bring you out of retirement. I know you will get on track with me. this goes out to all of my ninjas that's been here with me from the beginning of time. if you don't know you will figure it out soon that I'm one of the best and yeah it's a New York City thing. please everybody can eat but why NY people don't eat with NY people?

Plucky came to holla at me today and I'm thankful for that. this follows the game that I'm thinking of. why is that how many billions of people need and then they put the drug connect on world star? will it stop him from taking care of his business no? you know what I say keep that shit coming. what you want from this young man half of y'all need God. I'm in it for the long run will she follow me? girls all over town this is why I say you got to duck both connect right yes. whatever you need let me know people say this is tricking I think not.

If I tell you I love you it's because I mean it. you have helped me change for the better trust me. the way you entered my life and took hold of my life. I thank all y'all for loving me. I know I have a family with y'all. I'm doing this for us and our children. so when they get older they will have money in their bank account. I'm not giving up on myself so please don't give up on me. when I first came home I meant I didn't know where this relationship was going or if y'all wanted me in y'all life. I haven't seen anything wrong with the ones that I love. I knew you were the one for me when I laid eyes on our family.

Do you want to ride with me and also ride with a man that knows how to work your body out? you can get on top and make moves like you want to. I can get on top of you. you want a man that has a lot of money but money isn't everything trust me. what if this man loses it all again will you be there for me? I need one that wants to see me continue to win. you can have everything you set your mind to. how is this going to go? do you want to get out now I'm taking my time to make sure the business side of the company is strong. strong can go both ways trust me. you are the love of my life. just got off the phone and she said, change baby.

                                                          CHAPTER 136

If this dot works inside of you can I get an amen? looking at the way you look at me. I want to get close up on you and let our minds connect to one another. God says when you follow his way you will be gifted and guess what I have. you look like a sexy woman and not young-minded. we ought to keep our bodies to one another and let no one come between us. if I slashed your temple let me know. how does it feel I think this was given to me for one reason and that reason is to respect my family. I plan on respecting my family for the rest of the time I have on this earth. they say the good die young.

I know I will try my best to make it home to you. just in case you see someone different than your love. I'm getting upset and I'm big mad because I thought my love will make you happy. you know how much I love you because you see me as I am. you are my better half I think you think the same right? he can't get mad because all of the other females were with other men when we were home getting things taken care of. so why when it's at its best they can come in and reap the benefits that we have? I'm only looking for lovely ladies that trusted me. so if this is you I love you thank you.

When I called some time ago after we stop seeing one another. you said you were trying on some jeans. you know the way this story goes makes it hard for your man to look at another female. I will do anything for my children as long as I'm able to do it. I want to rub on your legs because you know I'm a leg man. the way you cross your legs with that dress on. I'm crossing the street you standing right there looking good as ever. this is where it all begins from the first I have seen double take you got me open and with your sexy ass why wouldn't I be.

Can you tell me what's on your mind right now? holding you for life you are my queen my guess is you want to stay here because of what you know and this is something that get you threw the day. who cheated for real because everything I did was in-house. but if you stepped out you were laying up with a man that you never knew and had a relationship with him. I'm trying my best not to go behind another man. I have to look my child in the eyes and tell her I never crossed her mother is that you, this fighting wondering if you want to be here or not. the way you laugh when you were doing my hair. can someone tell me why names match two Aaliyah?

Followed by four-leaf clover that's the match that I'm talking about. she must have seen something in me that people couldn't see in me. if I explain how I feel am I soft or am I keeping it real with myself? I can't wait to undress you followed by you cooking me breakfast in bed. you already made me dinner and lunch before. I'm trying to be there early in the morning with you waking up next to your baby. If I told you I'm for you, believe me. this soul is protected by God and Jesus stands for the j is for Jeremiah and the es stands for Ellison and the us stand for usher. this is the three men that died on the cross. 

So when is it okay for this person to talk about who I'm laying the pipe to. she wants a kid from the hill that's where it's at. why are you talking about drugs a key where a brick where. I wish people stop talking about them moving that much and ain't moving shit. look the south got QC and I got RN this is the reason New York City people can't cum together. if the money is right you got it so stop trying to take shots at uptown okay? gaming these chicks nowadays is hard because they are getting to the bag. you call it what you want if people from the hill don't see it the way you are saying it, what you are saying but I take this hill shit to the heart.

So I'm continuing the stories that I wrote. how will this come out what about your mother being younger than you? if you ask me Jesus' mother implanted a seed inside of her and guess what it was Aaliyah and you can't shake it. you have to think like that because of everything that's been going on with my writing. say it all about it Godmother is the same lady because it was written to be. she tried to get a nut and she got a nut and what. you should be proud and hold your head up.

If she wants to be in my life. she can not be up in other guys' faces because I'm not in other females' faces. it all started with this dark night that came my way. I'm still standing strong for our family. you made this up to cover your tracks. you don't want people to know what's going on with me and you. I have this dark spot on my hand is that a calling for you to be in my life? I can't give up now because this man sees things coming together in due time. so what we ought to do is live our life the right way.

People die by guns it seems like no one wants to live their life. you may not see what I see but if you ask me what I see I can explain it to you. you have to be conscious and fearful of life because at any given time life can change by the second. now we are looking into the next year hoping it brings us joy in life. the way we are going to get a piece of the pie is if we stick together as on. the body only can take so much in life. growing applying the pressure that we won't give up. we have to take our time and let life take its toll.

Dying with the pain of restoring the body the mind and the soul. she has stuck by me since day 1 and I mean when I returned home. thank you I know our children meaning all of my kids are the best trust me. I know what y'all are going through right now. I want it just as bad as y'all want it. waiting this out I know you have everything that you want. money can't buy love it helps out with the things you need in life to survive. so you ought to do your best to love me from afar because I'm trying my best to love you from afar.

                                                         CHAPTER 137

My writing takes away some of the pain that I have. I do this so people can understand what I am going through at that time. lifting my people up focusing on the right stuff and leaving the bad stuff out ok you want me to say negative and positive? you have to make a map and use it every day of your life. so you know right from wrong in the future. you ought to make mistakes so you can learn from them if you do not make mistakes how will you learn? life has a funny way of showing you reality so stay woke.

Sorting out this problem we have. men have to step up and love our queens because sooner or later. it will all fall on us to be the men of the house. how can we teach our young women to value themself in this life? you shouldn't have to give up the goods until you are ready. I'm here for the long run because I want one that I have to chase and not an easy one. After all, if it was easy for me. it will be easy for another man to come in and sweep her off of her feet. I love when y'all play hard to get. this will keep me on my game and my toes feel me. so continue.

You know you are the one for me. you always told me I'm going to want you back. I'm doing everything in my power to get my baby back. the game isn't the same without you. I know you are in someone else life. if I told you the dot changes your soul into Aaliyah would you believe me? I'm trying to teach you that your soul is strong because of who you are. a very strong woman. I'm trying to write my wrongs the best way I know how you move like a woman that has her head on her shoulders and I mean that figuratively.

If you can have your way which way would you have? up top or down bottom side to side. what's your favorite position? I'm with whatever you like. as long as I'm doing it to you. you have to walk with the man you want to be with. a great woman will help her man accomplish what he needs to accomplish. a woman will lift a man up beyond his highest potential. trust me you will see how strong a women's touch can be. you're right about that because the females that are in my life help me out in so many ways. I can't even believe it.

We're here and this feeling feels so good. tomorrow we will have sixteen days left and then twenty-one. what're the signs you have thrown in this? the copyright certificate says the date that adds up to my little sister. the man upstairs knows what he's doing by putting me in y'all life trust me. I can't deny y'all because this is something that he has set up for me and I'm walking his guidelines. so I have to listen to what he says and act on what he showed me. I want you to be mine forever baby.

Gather as much information as I can. it's called problem-solving I think I'm good at that. like when you're in a relationship and the female wants out for her reasons. you let her go and find someone worth staying with. I'm not taking shots at anyone just food for thought. if a relationship is based on trust it will last forever feel me. if one does for the other and the other one does for you. you have laid down a strong foundation. children will grow up and understand for better or worse and what that means.

I remember taking all of those trips and I'm not saying this because it's the right thing to say. some people say they have bricks but where at? the same people never moved bricks or went out of town and had to hold down the fort. gambling with the life shit I could've got hit up out there. I lost some of my close friends to gun violence. so when people ask me how I feel. I feel like never opening up this company because money is the root of evil. I had people do shit to shit I had going on.

You should always support those who support you. I see things clearly when it comes to that. I'm not asking for support from anyone writing is something that I got attached to. thank you for the ones that I see holding me down. meaning caring for my feelings and not disrespecting what we have going on. this is for y'all I appreciate. all y'all these nights with y'all keeping me focus. I promise not to lead you astray. working until the work is done. I keep my hands in prayer because he gives and he can take it. I always said if you show me I will lead by example.

Surround yourself with people that want to see you win. you are bringing an up brings up so watch what you do carefully. I’m trying to show whoever’s in my life that this is the right place to raise children. the smart living will always beat out a bad living. you have the grow into something that your parents will be proud of. the only way I know be at the top and if you fall down get right back up and try again. people will talk about you when you are winning and when you are losing. so why care what people think about you?

What does it mean when you planning for your children's future? people will try to take from you. you have to choose your friends wisely before you act on things. follow your plan my body and mind is hollo. Leah means Hebrew this is the symbol that I have on my hand furthermore I’m not adding problems. so let’s agree on the way we have to live before our fighting turns bad. you have to support me just as well as I’m supposed to support you. life is hard but by the grace of God, we will overcome it.

                                                        CHAPTER 138

I want to be in your presence because you have shown me that you are a stand-up woman and you love me. I thank God your mother called me that day to be in your life because you stood here with me. the gratitude I have for you. the only regret I have is only having one life to be here educating our children oh know I’m eternal life. so I will be back with my family and I will have another chance at life. this is for the things we don’t cover now we will cover in our next life but before that, we will enter our next life as a lion.

I remember getting a phone call that you wanted to come home from Atlanta and you asked me to pay your way home I said okay and send the money. when you got home you walked past the park we dressed alike on numerous occasions. I asked the mother to ask you if you wanted to do my hair and she asked you and the mother came back and said you said I asked you that yesterday. just in case you do not understand where I’m coming from you will understand when my mind opens up to your mind. great minds think alike.

So I made it to 1090 and I have this dot on my hand move ten up. that makes it 11 hundred the connection to Grandma is August 13 which means I will be on the year she was born. I hope you are soaking all of this knowledge in. this is why I say numbers add up to you. you and I have to be at peace with one another because this is the only way this relationship will continue to be strong. I’m on it until I make it or go into writer's block I haven’t reached that yet. I’m waiting on it but for now, I will continue to drop these Jews.

The countdown is on for me and you to be one. meaning the connection we have for one another can’t be broken because we look at one another intending to love life together. you have to set some boundaries in your life. one hand should wash the other hand so everything can go smoothly with us. fighting for love should be mandatory in a relationship feel me. you should act on life in your way if you plan on doing it for your partner okay if you want y’all love to last forever right? so you have to be there for her right yes.

Everyone has their peak in life. you visualize being close as parents but the connection stays on 💯 before I let the game trap me. I have to show that I’m able to live life positively out here. I’m not bastion the other one. I hope you are staying here because you want to be here. I know that our children mean everything to you. I’m here to make your life a little easy. so you can be the best partner that you could be to our children. I never want you to get out of character this is like a mechanism on us.

Who can you call on when times get hard that’s right. you are supposed to feel comfortable calling me besides I said not in that context and you use it today for currency. why not have money in banks across the world when you're doing it big notorious? I don’t want to be well known I just want to make my money and keep it pushing. I don’t need people all up in my space I’m not here for the fame. you ought to know that people that are in the spot lite have to portray a certain image that they don’t live by.

So you have diverted my attention to this chain that you have on. that’s similar to the chain that Aaliyah had on in them back in one piece. I’m asking myself what’s the connection in this. let me think is she telling me that that’s who she is? if you put e in her name it spells what. you tell me a matter of fact let me explain l.a.h add an e bring it to Leah okay why because the connection is there feel me. the more I get deep into my thoughts it always turns out to be something connected to you never again.

I never seem to know if she was using me. I can bounce back because it’s in my nature. it seems like this female was only in it for the money. this is why black men have trouble wife y’all when he has money because it’s the same thing you see everywhere after she gets what she wants she leaves you and starts over but when times were hard it was up to me. what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. I will take the blessings that were sent my way because I know she’s looking after me.

The causes you work so hard for your dreams to come true. you block everything out but what about what life has in it? I have to keep my head in this book because if I don’t take care of my company who will? God has given you this gift and you shouldn’t let anyone distract you from closing this. the way you work will show in the future believe me when my head hurts you can’t count on anyone but yourself to keep a level head out here. believe me, she was never with you from the beginning you take the bad with the good.

I’m just expressing the things that go on in my life. I know one day I am going to make some lucky women feel great about themselves because I have all of the intentions of doing my best in the relationship to come forthwith. I’m leaving it up to you lord protect me from people that only want from me. protect me from life living bad things may happen but I’m fearless. so I have to be a man for my women. she may not know who she is because I know it’s going to take time but trust me I have all of the time in the world.

                                                                 CHAPTER 139

Things sure are getting difficult because of what y’all want y’all get and I have to work to provide that. if you are thinking that I wish this never happened to be the man in your life think again. I’m not upset about that y’all work me to the tee and I’m happy but sometimes I feel like it’s too much. late nights and early mornings all through the daily work. even under my condition I still hold us down not letting that get the best of me. scared to drop a seed hoping I don’t curse my baby. it’s always good and good outshines the bad.

I never heard I’m proud of you because you work hard. is it all about the money with you? then I stop and think if I didn’t have this money will she still be here with me? then I think when I was dead broke and fucked up she still loved me. now that I got that out of the way I can continue to work. I will appreciate it if this wasn’t someone that you see fit because you need to take care of yourself out here if it stops tonight or tomorrow what would you do if it all just stops? you have to meet me halfway.

Seeing you today committed in a song that Hov said can I live? you take all of the pressure off of me because I know I still have y’all by my side. I will continue to write my heart out for the ones that have to remain in my life and for the ones that have kids by me that went to school today. I wonder how was their first day at school days like this not being able to be there hurts. I know you are doing an amazing job. so keep up the great work up. I’m trying to be all I can be for you and the children we have together.

Is love enough for us to go on cheating on one another since you've been gone I haven’t been with another women trust me I will not cross you. I will like to stay on status baby keep me comfortable. that day you walked out of my life we had a conversation about what we had to handle. I was all for it but was I ready to separate from you, no I wasn’t. I remember the connection when we cross paths. I knew you were inside of me forever. I promise never to let another women come between us unless she’s worth it.

I never know what she is thinking but I know building this company for me and who’s with me. I am glad I have found out about this now. you can’t let things get to you because you are a strong man and a woman looks for that. let’s see into the future when you get old and you can’t move around like you use to. this is when I’m going to show how hard I have been working. if God gives me 20 more years I can see myself changing the world or I have to be changed by the world.

You see what’s accomplished, don’t you? I’m still learning from things that I read and see. by the way me seeing things for what they are. this is why I just look with this puzzle on my face because I’m observant of everything that is going on in my life and the people that should be here with me. the thought of you leading me on and no money isn’t the problem but I work hard for what I have. so using me for what if not I apologize for insinuating that you are. take a look at all that was given to you.

When days go by slowly it’s like everyone is in a rush to get somewhere. I’m working to improve my situation before I leave here. I need to make sure my kids or should I say children have something to look forward to. 80 billion in 10 months ain’t bad at all. I don’t want people wanting to be down on me because I can make them money. it has to be chemistry with one another before I do any business with you. I started from the bottom just like everyone else. I was missing for a couple of years but bounced back.

If I can dance with my daughters. when I was young I had y’all at a young age. I had to work and stop going to school to take care of y’all. I know I missed out on the beautiful things that went on in y’all life. I’m sorry to my children but I want y’all to know I love y’all. I’m trying to be this man that y’all can look up to. I hated being away from y’all. if y’all were wondering. I know I have to learn what are some of the things that y’all love. I’m willing to do and trust me the love I have for y’all mothers.

When I look at my children I have this feeling like y’all can do nothing wrong. it’s hard to walk away from y’all. I want everything positive for y’all so I have to work my mind off. y’all mean the world to me. I can’t wait to hold y’all in my arms. let’s block out all of the negativity because we do not need it. I want y’all to know whenever y’all want to enter my life trust me y’all can. I’m just waiting patiently and trust me I see all of the wonderful things y’all mothers are doing with y’all. I died once on the cross and now it’s about status.

Dear children what can I do to make your life better I want to give y’all the world. the way I see and hear and write. I know that my children are in great hands. the mothers of these wonderful kids being strong at a time when I was not in my right state of mind. it was because I was missing y’all and I said to myself that if I make it out of this situation. I will never put the mother of my children through anything like this ever again. children it was with all good intentions trust me. God wanted me to get my wings.

                                                          CHAPTER 140

I remember when you were at my house. your mother left you with me and I watched you for the whole day. I was only a young boy but I knew that this felt so right in my heart. I kissed you and you just looked at me with this smile on your face. I felt so warm inside of my soul. I knew right there I wanted this little girl in my life. I remember when your mother came to my house she was with one of her sisters and had a little girl walking beside her and another child in the stroller and I still thank God for my children.

I remember my uncle giving me money to go to the machine to buy a ring. then I went to your house and gave you the ring and you said thank you. I remember holding court inside of your house over our children. you said in your final statement you love me and you want me to take care of my daughters and in my final statement. I said I will because your father was a judge. both of them are in car seats and you came to see me and I gave you the last of what I had cumsi.

The way life is going God please remove people that don’t deserve to be in my life. I know it may take time but I have faith that you will do so because I am your child. just by knowing that you trusted me. I had nine lives and the last one meant. I had to prove that I’m worthy of being you. I did exactly what you asked of me. I see that you are still working on me. and trust me I’m here until you finish working on me. you show me things that I need to see for the strength that you have given me. I’m just waiting for your touch and believe me when I say I felt it.

As days go by and I’m still working to get into my children's life. I know y’all see my ups and downs as I write them in my stories. I’m writing them so you can see inside my life when you weren’t there. I don’t disagree with what y’all mothers did but it hurts. trying to write my wrongs into rights by the grace of God. would you believe him giving me this task? I stood up like a man and took all of the pain just like when he was on the cross. all of the bloodshed I let loose out of my body. so y’all can have a better life.

People I’m married to the game imagine having kids with it that you can teach how to play this game. I mean hustling the right way I want my children to run this company one day because I’m getting old. y’all will be able to make decisions on the way our company will go and in what direction. if I can make him all of those billion just think about what I am going to do for y’all. trust me it will be endless. building this company knowing that my children are looking at what I have created.

It’s hard remember to find someone that you can trust when you are dealing with this type of thing meaning company business. you will comfort the one that loves you but love doesn’t define the way people treat you. I’m glad that I saw the truth before it was too late. I know you are never going to say anything about her. I know this woman meaning the one that’s inside of me. I know she did everything in her power to keep me safe. I know how hard it was for her to give up her life to help me out and look faithful.

I haven’t had any sexual contact with anyone since you have been on this earth even when you were a seed like the one I have in my hand. on the other hand what if all of this that I have done was for nothing? yes, she said she loved me wanting me to write this off of this song. I gave her exactly what she asked for but what about helping me out with what I need? am I putting 100 percent and if so how much are y’all putting in? I want to see the outcome of what you will do for me. I’m not asking for much only for trust.

I want to say it but I don’t know how to say it. I’ll say this it’s your day so enjoy it to the max. as for me I’m good I can’t understand everything that’s going on it’s like my mind has different feelings about two things and I’m not going to say it. the blessings that came my way y’all need to see this out and accept who may be you. if not I need to know so I can exchange her for someone else. cause I’m ready to lock up with her so I can know that her body’s inside of women.

I’m not supposed to get mad if she plays games in this relationship. this is her calling on all types of nights. what do you want out of my life? putting up with you no more I need to move on. this girl has her bad ways this situation gets on my nerves. you played me but I can get back on my bull shit. you make up things that you do just to get me mad and upset. you need to go your way and I need to go my way. I can’t take this anymore because I’m jealous of what could be and this is just the way I feel.

Holding on to her makes all of the difference in the world. I have to say things have looked up in my life. I know he needed you to be by his side. but the thought of him taking you from me to be with him, or is it for you to exchange your soul for the female of my choice? who will it be if I slash women. she will have all of your power and that lucky lady will be you for eternity. I always seem to catch myself wishing you were here but I have to accept it for now and know that he is working on bringing me, someone.

                                                            CHAPTER 141

M16 you should want to fall back from 12 because they don’t give a fuck about us. how in the hell you are going to patrol our streets when you know nothing about us? this shit gets me upset because we need to come together and fight back but some don’t know how to. I put this on Damu it’s hell in these streets because jake needs to be stopped before guns don’t kill people. people kill people. and people think it’s about partying all the time what about giving these young children some game before this killing one another gets out of hand? who’s your big homie he’s not a big homie if he doesn’t educate you on how the streets are.

If having three children by the same mother and father makes us strong so be it. I wonder if this is just in my mind. she said she want to do something for me and I said to remain faithful to me, that’s all I need when it’s dark you bring out the light in me. you have this glow like no other female I know. should I give up and take my talent to the south I have so many memories out there and the reason a lot of people claim blood is because of me. I was the plug from the east to the south. you can get me out of my comfort zone.

This ain’t living nigga  when will we understand that we have to guide ourselves in a better direction? what you want to become famous and these young adolescents are struggling to become men. we have a powerful speaker that leads us in the direction that we need to go in. the young ladies you need to close your legs because you can’t be giving it up to anyone that has money. I lose this battle, or am I overcoming the temptation? I have to keep my head strong out here because everyone uses one another to build their own as I’ve done.

I’m trying to turn my bad money into good money but it’s hard. the only way I’m able to do this is by my women looking after me. you show me a lot of things that make my mind look in the right direction before I get locked up and be facing 30 years of money. looking over my shoulder from the feds because they can be on to me. remember this is just rap and I’m not doing drug dealing. yes, I have advice for the people that are in that game. pay attention to your surroundings because if you don’t watch your back you can end up dead or in jail.

You say I’m buffing but let’s tell the truth when you had me next to you and you walked in the park and I came in the park after you. I said hi Trish and you said hi sin. I know what that meant you wanted to talk to me later on. the conversation went something like this do you want me in your life you said not now. what am I supposed to think about this distance relationship how am I going to live my life without you? I got the heart to tell you when you are wrong this is what she said to me and I said you should always stand up for what you want.

You have to make sure you make positive moves if you want me in your life. so watch what you do until we come to a connection. you can’t move right if you stay to the left. this is how it goes let’s stay family. everyone should understand that the way you act is the way you will be perceived. please don’t let your emotions feel differently if she upset you. I’m not one to take the pain of caring for you if you underestimate the way you think you will be in last place. it takes a nation of millions if you want to lead us down the right path.

Sorting out the problems you have will have a great impact on your life. you follow the ones that have goals for themselves and learn the business before the industry takes from you. I’m glad I own my rights and my publishing and catalog. this way everything I own will go to my family and I want my family to know that I’m working to better our life okay. yes, I miss y’all all trust and believe I’m coming home, and if she wants to move down south to be closer to her child. let me find out if y’all two have a connection together.

Calm and collected never fold when the pressure is on because that will determine how strong-minded you are. yes, I’m pushing to write my wrong. so my family can have an outlook on the inside of my mind. I know I have shown you actions and y’all will understand where I’m coming from. the good die young how can we change that? we have to put down the guns and use our intelligence and perform at an all-time high. follow the person that has something going for himself. read and educate yourself about streets and business smart.

I don’t want to be in concert with anyone out here. this is why I stay in my lane. people have to understand the world is full of dishonest people. so I have to protect what I am doing before I toss your girl it will cost you more if I have to keep my eyes open until everyone is out of this room. I don’t have to walk by myself but for you. I will, if she can’t see what she has in front of her I will move on. this is for all of the females that left me. I hope you are doing well as for me nothing has changed. I’m still handling my business to the best of my ability.

You should control everything you do, so you can know to do better if something seems wrong, the way life is going for black men. listening to people that have nothing to gain out of life how can I listen to someone that’s in the same predicament I am? what I need to do is be on my toes and live for my family. as long as I got they got this is the way it’s supposed to be in life or death. leaving my children this company will help them live the right kind of life when you know right from wrong you see things differently.

                                                             CHAPTER 142

I remember when I texted you and asked you did you want to go to a concert with me and you said you do not like to be around a crowd of people. this has two meanings and is spelled the same sign I throw at you. you ought to throw back at me and you did. when you said it’s cold outside I remember everything that we talked about. I’m just letting you know I was paying attention to what you had to say. I’m not annoying you I get knowledge from you whether you believe it or not please continue to study.

This is a big world but different nationalities and it seems like no I know we are in the last place. we can change that if we come together and pull our resources. we can come to an economic change but we fight amongst one another. female wants to be outside in clubs partying but what about when you reach an age and you look up and have no one with you? I don’t want anything to do with females that are like that because I have to teach my daughters they are women and a man should respect them not showing half ass in a flick.

If shit is getting hot don’t mind me. I’m just here to protect my sisters and that’s for the two that were born inside of me Gershom and Eliezer. y’all both have to stand up and walk like I’m walking because anything less is uncivilized. living in this life we did everything y’all helped me handle my business and both of y’all is giving me the confidence to move forward in life. the way the game is going we need God and Jesus everybody is out here for ourselves but not me. my friends and family mean everything to me.

I remember when you were walking up the block and went to the corner and walk right back down the block. you stopped you know that’s okay and one day you were walking across the streets. I know you knew what I was saying about you. thank God you are prepared for the world now and you never crossed me. you are your person but if we were born together and you separated from me in this life. you have to respect my wishes because I’m the oldest and I know more than you know so you should soak up this game.

Soon you'll understand and now is the time that you understand what I’m doing. Layla is sitting here watching what the both of us are doing. so Aaliyah has to woman up and be a mother to her children. if this is what you want you need someone that has a Ph.D. and I got that as you know I was working from the time you first saw me. this shit is difficult because me not fully understand what’s right from wrong. you are telling me that we will be together baby. this heart will not tolerate the problem that you may cause me.

Mama’s just a little girl. you have to take this seriously because men as I grow up and take responsibility for you and the children that you have conceived but I know in your heart being a mother to your children is a blessing to you. by the way, girls you have to be more in tune with their life because it’s hard for women. that’s why I want to raise queens because that will attract a man that has something going for himself because we raise them like that. you should look deep into a man's soul and be with him for a long time before you move that steady into moments.

Calling a female out by her name that’s something that I will never do. it doesn’t matter how fuckup shit can get I will never. I have a mother and sisters and daughter. the word hitch came from a female dog the only dogs I know are men and women doing only gangster shit. that is what I live by because it is in our history in blood codes, this sex money murder crew that I have the second command in if you don’t believe me just think about it rollack, and name me Simlack one of my friends gave me that name but I always knew that’s what he called me, am I, My brother keeper, yes I am.

I know you talk like you are tongue tie. I’m not saying that it is a symptom but you know about my condition and you are still sitting here in my life thank you for every blessing you gave me. I truly appreciate it because if it wasn’t for you I’ll probably be in the streets. knowing I have a home to come home to is a blessing trust me. I remember ringing the bell and thinking what can she be thinking about? when I got upstairs I asked you do you mind doing my hair once a week and you said no problem.

Hiding from the truth is a reality for some people. the purpose you have on this earth shows people that you can do whatever they thought that you couldn’t do. look them right in their eyes and make them regret playing you. girls moved on and I’m not mad at it. I just have to secure the bag. if someone can’t secure the bag with me move on. in this life, I need a comfortable space out here because if things get a qualm in my mind. so you ought to show me that y’all are my ride or dies because people may miss using the word faithful when you are faithful that means you are dedicated.

I use to use a 38snub nose and shoot it off now and then to make sure. I don’t get hit up when I was out of town what do you know about putting on a girdle to transport more than 100thousand no homo. that’s the type of shit we were moving. people talk about it but never moved that much. you talk about keys yeah right where at. I’m still in the streets moving work. I know all of the biggest drug cartel connections. you're right up on him you need to stick to raps. imagine me being scared of a person that bleeds as I bleed.

                                                         CHAPTER 143

I’m not trying to figure out why she named her after Aaliyah. this makes more sense to me in having an understanding of her being my Leah. I’m not uncomfortable with the way you show that you care. if you show me more I will be grateful believe me. putting this down on paper that I love the ladies that are in my life. I respect the ones that didn’t show the other side because her friends carry themself in that kind of way. you ought to be growing up in life. the respect is there now that I understand that you understand that you are here.

Seeing this young lady when I see children that look like me. I know by how they look at me tells me that they’re my children. I want you to have everything that God made for you. I’m working to provide for you. I know you look at your mother and tell her that she made the right decision. I think I made the right decision because you listen to me and make life goes easy. you not in the streets because I for sake that. you look at me after you did what you did.

I just saw my daughter jumping up and down in front of the building. I was about to walk down the block I didn’t want to interrupt or intrude on what you and she had going on. next time you are not getting a pass. I’m glad she’s happy that means you are doing a great job being a mother to her. the thought of losing you I remember when I came to the house in the winter. you asked me if it was cold outside I know that meant you have a crush on me. your wordplay impacts my mind with thoughts that I can replay in my stories.

My heart goes out to the people who moved on from me. the reason I’m able to go on is because of my children without them I don’t know what I would be doing. every heartbeat from them gives me the energy to move forward in life. I take pictures so you can see me and I know you want to see me. y’all are my little princesses and I can’t imagine my life without y’all. God has blessed me with this family and I’m grateful for my children loving me too the mothers of my children thank you.

I remember staying at wake and mystic's house and Clicquot didn’t want to go to school. she took the thermometer to a lighter so her temperature would be sky-high. I told her amateur you have to put it under a lightbulb so it can have a temperature that wake would believe when she gave her it wake said we can stay home thanks to me. I remember me having like 50 beats that I was going threw and Clicquot walked past my house and heard the music and then came in my house listening to the beats she helped me pick the right beat squad up.

My shooting star started like this how can I please you. she said to get to know me before you judge me and I said okay that’s what I should’ve done. I wasn’t thinking I just wanted to get to know you. know I’m not worried about what a female is doing because my children's mother comes first does this make sense to you? I’m so glad you have decided to be in my life. let me show you why you decided to be in my life. I’m not saying everything is perfect but we’re working on it understand?

Showing is believing so do whatever she says, so you can move forward in her life. and treat her with respect so you can keep her in your life. this is a learning experience for both of us. you never know what I’m thinking that’s not so because I let my mind write whatever’s on my mind. please tell me what more I can do for you. this thing grownup body connection to you. so make sure you keep me in your blessings. it can change by feelings so we are supposed to take care of one another until we leave here on earth and even then eternal life.

This isn’t it we have to keep our minds moving. so I can continue to learn as I teach you what love is. you want the best that I can give you. so you have to pay attention to what I’m teaching. this is the only way you are going to get it. I have to keep telling your mind this is the way it’s supposed to be. let’s take our time before someone gets hurt. I’m free to do it for you so bear with me. every time you make me wait I just want more to get next to you. I’m planning this life for us okay?

Just got that phone call from my mother and it was a great conversation because now shorty telling her to tell me that she’s trying to get a big house in Atlanta for the whole family. this is why Aaliyah walks with you because you are thinking about progression and I’m thankful that I can be of some assistance to you. I want your dreams to go wonderful and I said how are y’all going to leave me? she said I can visit whenever I want to and I will be sure to visit, building that’s all I want from you. think about your children am I?

I ain’t got it so you can’t get it. I see you are in the bullpen right I've been doing this faithful heart for 19 years. thank you for connecting the dots. this is why our relationship will last we talk to one another on occasion. we have to stay loyal to one another. dishonest people don’t last in a good relationship don’t cheat yourself out of a good relationship. we should always stay Ten steps ahead. you know that phone call was to warn me about what you were about to post. you wearing a bulls jersey body unity love lust soul.

                                                               CHAPTER 144

So this bird brain thinks I’m playing with her right? I will throw your ass in a garbage bag if you cheat. you think I won’t leave your ass right in front of these children. these hitches stay playing your mother called me to tell me you were busy and you went out in Atlanta. you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. let’s see when was the last time you did anything for me? you can’t even buy me a birthday card. next time I’m going to punch you right in your face. let’s see one picture outer line.

I wonder if she understands why I’m telling her this. you have to have your mind because if I didn’t care I’ll be asking you to give it up right away. I’m not because I want an everlasting relationship with you. I know you want more for yourself I’m right here to help you out. you are the only one I think about because Layla wants you to be the first because her mother is in you or not. I’m seeing things that can get me in the mood to do something right now. I have been feeling this way for a long time now.

So I have been patiently waiting when grandma was 70 years old I was born and when she was 80 years old you were born. this is the math to what X said about 150 in hows it’s going down. you have a lot of connections to my life and I know why. Layla, does this answer this question that you have about this track? I know she is not trying to trap me because I wanted this just as much as she wants it. when I go up in heaven you better be right next to me or else this shit won’t work for you have to exchange in time and out time with Aaliyah.

Brother, do you remember what we talked about when I was down south, you said you were going to come to visit me. I want to know if it still stands while I’m back in New York City. yeah, I need that if anything goes down. yes, I miss my sister like crazy I remember y’all getting paid for summer letting me and my sister and play all of the games. Does one shot one kill what's the deal? better them than me I’m watching everything I’m awake and that’s dangerous to have a black man woke. things can get out of hand and I know you got down the hill and you are from up the hill Barry.

If everyone is the boss where are the workers a company needs that. so don’t listen to what people say about that. use your mind to become a businessman. the more power you have the more people want to get rid of you but I’m not going out like that because this dot is ready to go off. the rain may fall who controls me that’s who. I can never work with the enemy but she’s siding with them right? that can’t be something that the left eye would do exchanging looks like it’s 50/50 love.

You can get me out of my game because I’m dedicated to you. this means we need to be in one another arms. I've been holding you for a long time. she said she wants to see me get what’s coming to me. what am I supposed to do when I see a man in front of you? you are supposed to look up to that man because I can teach you so much. you should be able to learn so much from me if you pay attention to what I have to teach you. I put you first because that’s what a man does for his family.

You must not understand how hard it is without you here next to me. sometimes I want to give up on a relationship with someone. I can’t replace you because you were one of a kind and nobody can walk with me as you did. the last song you did a video for I’m on it. people make fun of me but I know it’s for you. lately, you have focused on me because I write to you and play the song that I wrote about. what are you doing are you telling me you want a relationship with me or not? from 15 years old and now I’m 36 and live in 49 states I have been faithful for 1hour in the last state.

So she called saying she was going to send me a picture. I think she was just pulling my leg because she said she was at a birthday party in Atlanta after I said both of y’all birthdays. she always lets me know what I am writing. After all, she wants me to know that she is following me. Guess what I haven’t got the picture. she said she looks like Smokey Robinson and she has gray eyes. I’m thinking what connection is that then I think I know what. you always make sense of what you are doing. so don’t let anyone sidetrack you.

She shows her true feelings when I ask of her. and her dedication to me is unreal because I know I mean the world to her. this is exactly what Aaliyah would’ve done. I do not question your intention when it comes to me. I learn from you just as well as you are learning from me. this is something that both of us have to pay attention to. you are my tears when I cry and when my eyes are dry and I can see straight. you gave me the strength to continue to write because you are putting my thoughts in the right direction.

I just want to ensure you that I’m the man that you are looking for. I want to build with you. you are right when I’m wrong. you are my yes when it’s no. me being here with you has opened so many doors you wouldn’t believe it. I owe you so much I put a lot of time into making you a woman and I can’t imagine you giving what I have built-in you to someone else. so what am I supposed to do if you walk out of my life? the pain and happiness happen once in a lifetime when you find that one special person you make her happy for the rest of her life.

                                                               CHAPTER 145

I remember at times being in one another's life. we use to know what was on the other person's mind. I remember sitting on the bus going home from work. you asked for a connection asking for me to give you a Happy Easter. why wouldn’t I when Jesus' day is on that day and you stuck with me? I texted you and asked you if it was anything you needed for that day and you said a pair of Jordans. I said okay and said call me when you get up in the morning and you called at 8clock. then I made my way around here.

You should never let women get down on one knee and propose to you. how could I have stopped her some day on January the 8th to be exact? I returned the favor in May the day was the 16th. I don’t know if she was telling me just to keep me around because I was doing it for her and she didn’t want me to leave just yet. the license to what I’m talking about is in the library of congress. you told me never to be scared to ask for what I want. the best thing that could ever happen to me is you. you helped me through hard times.

When I say something you always say I’m saying it to hurt you but I just want what’s best for you. when my children help me so much I need y’all in my life. as a black man times can get hard, and sometimes I can get upset with what’s going on but I promise I will never put my hands on you or raise my voice to you. the only thing that was right about what Aaliyah did she did this for our family. I’m beside you every step of the way until we enter heaven parting the Red Sea. so no contact with any women would be inside your body.

Listening to a house is not a home without two people. so she leaves her life jumping from man to man if it’s a male he wouldn’t know how to treat her. I’m holding on, for the time being. she needs to show me a sign that she loves me. I just want her love laying next to me. I don’t want to change partners if I can prevent that from happening but I want you to grow with me because this home is full of grace and praising God. the man up above wants to see us together trust me. he wouldn’t put all of this energy into making this work.

So if I was a smooth criminal would you want me? someone that goes around stealing girls' virginity because it’s been so long for me. the family is you okay I’m thinking about being scared of taking a plane. being in the game so long I’m getting tired of all of this drug trafficking going back and forth. the game doesn’t get old make the money don’t let the money make you because the same people you see going up are the same people you see when you're coming down. so be mindful about what you do to people because it can come back to you.

What I meant to say is when I was giving someone special she caught me by surprise when she said what am I doing I said I’m giving you $165 no it’s not all about money. just follow the post because when something happened to her I gave $200. so if you add that up it means 365 days in a year. I hope this is what you were telling me. you had a mirror where you were staying and after you did my hair I would look in that big mirror and think about usher confessions and think about when he broke that mirror.

Thinking back to when we had our second discussion about where our life was going and in what direction. I’m on the corner I gave mother something for you she said. you were going home to do some cleaning and I got a text from you as I’m looking down my memory flashed right before my eyes. cause Aaliyah said no more and X look down I know what that meant. I promise I’m never letting anyone else take something that’s yours. you said don’t give her anything for me anymore meaning the opposite right?

So as I sit here and observe what I just posted does this mean what I think it means? it looks like I differently found Aaliyah and my uncle and it looks like I need to find a new left eye. After all, she doesn’t exist to me because she and her friends moved on. I’m kinder glad that I found out now. just by having the two of y’all in my life please let’s stay on the status. everything I own y’all own Layla I know you are happy right now and trust me I’m also happy just to find out that this is true. people say the truth will set you free.

If half is cut that means the females that Aaliyah took with her to heaven. the dot is buzzing on and off. your name is the same as hers. I’m not telling you this to compare you to her. it’s just to justify what this means to me if you have children by me and you match you know what. the dot is automatically on you because Aaliyah has the power. After all, she is the closest person to God and Jesus. eternal life means the monument will be replaced and the next round will take over.

Yes, I want to give you the world but all good things come in time. so if you can’t wait move on before you hurt me. I see things that the average man doesn’t understand. I promise it’s going to come when it’s supposed to trust me. the way I’m going with this life that we settled down for. we cannot force the love we have so let’s take our time. I’m telling you this because time is everything to me. we need to find out if this is going to last or if this is going to be a one-night stand with me and you.

                                                         CHAPTER 146

When you want someone so bad but you can’t reach her. it’s like nothing I do is ever good for you. if you are working on a plan and I’m working on a plan. putting both plans into play we can gain the world trust me. you have to let things flow into play because if you rush life God can’t make mistakes but take our time. I know he will bless me with a wonderful woman. I know having intelligence and being educated and having knowledge is the best feeling in the world. I do not talk much because I’m not loud.

I’m right here when you need me. if you want to do business with me let’s keep it professional, or do you want more from us? you can’t have a relationship with someone and then it won't work and then come to me wanting more from me cause that’s not going to happen. I’m not thinking about her I have moved on. if I never see you again it won’t bother me. I know I saw this wonderful woman today that wants in my life. you can do what you want from here on. it ain’t like you were listening to me anyway I’m happy.

When this blood shit started I had been blood since Bobby Johnson. I had people under me when that shit came out. yeah, people know who they are but we will save that for another day. it ain’t about these 036. it’s about respect as I get older I’m watching y’all. the game leaves people watching the streets. I can’t slip feel me because that might give people that want to see me hit up happy. what happened to slow yeah shut down if you knew why I don’t fuck with people but I can’t blame y’all ninjas ain’t about no gangster shit.

If the feds run in and start picking people up. I just want you to hold down the household feel me. you don’t want to see what sporty got in his clip. if ninjas rat I can’t understand people respect that why. someone said where did he tell it was right there in front of the world? you said I told on who you know that ninja told the whole internet saw that but he real I can see the game getting water down. you think I forgot about what you said. it ain’t about money how many people from the hill died.

The Apple that Aaliyah took a bite out of was bad for a reason, right? this is why I had to get my wings because the bad apple that you bit wasn’t good for you, this is why my moving on means nothing to me as long as you are here for me. I think she understands that you can take her place because this is the last of a dying breed. this is for whoever it may concern. y’all might set me up so this is why I can never say anything to y’all and I’m good with that. if it goes down I’m going to be with my family.

We have surpassed $ 1 trillion. she knows who she is that I’m waiting on. I want you to be the first one in over 18 years. what do you say please tell me that you are saying yes. I remember when I was bringing you something for what we know. buck fifty say it all I just want you to love me. I’m not looking for anyone but you. if I get down on one knee we will be husband and wife. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. you are the beneficiary of everything I own and I must say I wouldn’t want to leave it to anyone else.

So I’m dangerously in love with you. I can’t see you but I’m waiting until the day I see you next to me. let’s see how strong Jesus is, being God's Body I’m protected by the forces of the higher power. please continue to bless me I love the way this hold you have over me. until we meet again or are you here on earth in another body or do I have to enter someone into this soul of mine? so you can walk on this earth again or are you here trying to figure this out hurt my soul because it’s a simple yes or no and yes I’m giving you an ultimatum.

I want to give you the world the sky the sun the earth in itself. I thought when you went to heaven my life wouldn’t be the same but seeing this young lady changed that. when you grow out of things that you did when you were young, you ought to change for the better because that shows a sign of growth. the only ones that think growing up is wack are people that have a young kid mentality. so, people, we need to grow up as people and handle our business so we can raise our children into men and women.

If females are running with ops do you trust them he’ll no. she might be trying to set you up and I've seen people get set up from hitches like that. you are never to say anything to any of them okay? this will determine your life living or dying. the first move letting her use what and get money off of it. when her man was one of many that I had beef with. this is why you can’t leave her anything because if something happens to me. she might let them get some of my paper feel me and me and Aaliyah can’t have that.

Just to make sure you don’t make any mistakes think about people as if Aaliyah would’ve crossed you but I know that’s never because she uses status. when I spoke to mother she said sixty and I get what that means okay? you see me and I see you by far this is only the beginning of our journey. I will make sure you understand how much I love you. my mind thinks about you every day even at the night. laying here writing to you so you can understand what I’m thinking. I want you to know and follow me so we have positive vibes, she sent her.

People not understanding where I’m coming from. I’m not chasing a female that runs and is with other men. this life that Aaliyah left for me. I promise to take care of her inside of my life. this amazing woman put up her life to help me out. if half is cut like I said what’s the sense? I want you to walk away from me. I see you doing your thing right. what does that mean when you do the opposite? you don’t see your friends with their man taking shit like that. one way or another you will exit what I have built.

Control of my thoughts means I’m less of a man because I want to express whatever’s on my mind. I know that you appreciate what I have done for you. I think this is more about us as one. I want to tell you through the ups and downs you stood by my side feel me. how can I repay you because you are my wife and I can’t see anyone else by my side but you. the fight that we put on for people that don’t know the ins and outs of this relationship. being strong I get that from you.

What should I do about you holding my hand at a time when I had nothing? this is all I talk about because you stay on my mind. if we are from the ocean. we love water I remember your sister telling me that Anna and you are scared of clowns and then I told her I almost died in water but if I’m a fish how is that possible? anything is possible then she told me that shouldn’t stop me from getting in the pool again. I told her I’m a great swimmer one day I will prove it trust me.

So you are on the phone and I started shaking right. you also used the word clown for what to let me know okay? you were talking about how people who rap end other people's careers. you also hit me with that stay scheming right? throwing signs at me for whatever reason. you had your agenda so, of course, I’m following your lead because if Aaliyah is inside of you. she is my queen this is all I need in my life. I remember the first time I saw your face on September 9th.

If Allen Iverson's wife's name is the same as yours. in the Ten Commandments, someone took the girl that he had and he was the number seven, and the opposite was number two. this is why you are here for me because that match up right. the thought of losing you I can’t swallow my pride. if I have to come down there I hope everything’s okay with you. I remember every conversation that we had. I remember a conversation where you asked do I work and I told you in a hospital and you ask me which one and I spelled Presbyterian as a doctor.

I remember the first day Aaliyah let me come to her house, remember you just said don’t hold anything back. so here we go I’m sitting on the chill-out stoop and you called threw mother and she ask was I on the block I said yeah. she said you said can I come and buy you something to eat and I said I’m on my way to your house. I ring the bell you let me in when I got upstairs I told you the story, you ordered something to eat and I gave you the money when I was about to leave a said to keep the change mother said More I said give me a chance.

You can see how far God let you. just don’t go blind looking for God to bless someone that he knows has been bad. you pick your fights on who you want to love because you have to go with what’s in your heart. my heart beats for you and I’m whole because of you. I can see you me and you growing in life, others don’t see the pain that we went through but I’m a man now, and trust me. I’m not changing for no one understands me. if I love you I love you that’s it, I can’t plan this life without you. so let’s four see things that mean something to us.

                                                            CHAPTER 147

Get down or lay down. it’s a lot of talk going on about Harlem. where are the so-called dogs? everyone said something about when they see him it’s going to be a problem and y’all ain’t doing nothing. These 5 here can’t go back outside but for CO trust me I’m willing to do the time and let’s not include these females because it’s a man thing. y’all got a young man waiting on that kite to come down from up top. people talk about how who with who. I’m not waving a white flag. use to be my dog you were in my left titty.

My Second Reply

Against All Odds only if blank knew how many died. when I was outside handling business the kid was facing life right then went on the run. I remember wake driving me around the block and I told her to stop there because then I’m walking up the block. the ribbon wasn’t at the top of the steps. something happened to this female and I took it into my own hands releasing 17 in his body. so my uncle was dating this 12 lady right then passed the 12 to me that’s when it got ugly outside for better or worse.

I called this time and said we are having games in the park and she said did our team win and I said I’m staff. I know what that meant because a song just came out called attention. you are right when I’m wrong, the feeling I have for you believe me when I say I miss you. please don’t make me regret this because I put so much love into this relationship. please don’t be on that bullshit. when she calls me it is late like 3 am. I want to give you this whole man because you are a strong woman.

With All, That’s Going On In The World We Can Kill One Another But are Scared To Do Anything To The Enemy. we are not trying to fix the problem. so let me say this how many more people have to die before we fight back? we have to use our minds and build. everyone so far on with what they have like money understands the value of money. we are supposed to be building and owning things but we can’t look back we have to continue writing the dot is alive.

I have things on my mind and that’s to be great. people couldn’t see my vision but I saw it and these females that were with me saw what I saw. this is me letting you know the greatest thing God put in my life was you. how can one man have so many females that care about him? mom yes I understand that our children are okay. I want them to know I’m here and tell my little man that I love him. I’m the one that has to protect them and trust me I will. this is coming from my heart believe me.

Ain’t growing apart of life with your life what good do you do. the killing of our people should be on people's minds. if you have any sympathy for people. you should turn your life around as a people because it’s coming to our last days. God got a plan for us because we are made in his image believe me. you should only believe half of what people say and if you see things that can hurt you just move on. people will not understand your plan until you have it executed. so grind hard for yourself and remember she’s watching you.

I use to get calls all the time now you have children and it’s like I have to call to talk to you or understand where’s your mind at. put aside the money let’s talk about how are you raising your children. one thing I know is you better be taking good care of them no let me rephrase that. I know you are being the best mother that you could be. I have a school question when you add ing for continuous tense. but what about when you're saying being, how does that fit eternal life?

Going into heaven I know she wants to walk inside with me. I think when I leave this earth instead of my soul going up it will enter your body because you have Aaliyah with you. I think not I believe we will go together laying down and have this being rotating threw our body. trust me it will never stop until we return to earth. whoever had the status to turn the cross around and enter the dot. I shouldn’t have to give someone this position meaning this dot is put on my hand for a reason and the reason is you.

Having a 1-on-1 because you have helped me in this path that I’m taking. I want to complete your sentence and whatever’s on your mind I want to know. when we go out I want to open the doors for you and pull up your seat when we have our dinner. it’s the night of the nights that something should go down. dam I’m saying all of this and don’t know if this is true. why else would you help me get to this point? if so I will take the money and move on with my life.

I know you wanna be with me, this doesn’t bother me. I said respect me meaning your life is your life. when you show out the conversation that we had will end. I’m just saying this if you wish to hold a conversation with me. you have to play your cards the right way. you already know the answer to what I’m about to say. I will never tell you that because I have respect for you. the love that’s there will last if you let it. let’s get one thing straight I’m not here for that I’m more interested in your mind bringing that to the table.

                                                            CHAPTER 148

Using your brain because you went to school and learned so much. yes, you have the knowledge I need to get smart like you. when I’m thinking about you, you should be thinking about me shorty. how can I maintain my thoughts when you look so sexy to me? I can see myself climbing on top of you. if this doesn’t work I have to man up and enclose my feelings. you are supposed to be on my level. I want to see you clear-headed is what she said to me and I said I wouldn’t have it any other way.

You always tell your friends that I’m cheating on you but you have no evidence of that. the ladies that want to see our future be great I’m here for y’all. I'd focus on her the ones that keep me on the right path. seeing you just now felt great to me, am I going to be that lucky man that you choose to be in your life? can’t you see when our minds connect it’s the best thing in the world? I see y’all are growing into a grown woman meaning each one of y’all. I can’t breathe looking at you because your beauty is breathtaking.

I don’t want to go on without you and you know I mean all that’s here for me. I don’t want this to go up in an uproar. I know just as well as you are picking my brain I’m on you the same way is what she said. I said you can get whatever my brain is saying. let me tell you the most important thing is I’m loving you. please don’t tier down this life we have built together because it will be a big mistake feel me. she said if you do anything wrong to me I’m walking out and I said look at my children, they’re the love of my life.

If I had a picture of you trust me you will be posted on my wall. you show the definition of women. I know it’s hard on you love can hurt but the question be is it worth it yes it is. you can’t blame me it was either that or this. she said I rather this way and I said I didn’t think you wanted the other way. that’s our little joke undressing you for the first it’s going to be a breeze. you want me to show you that I can be this man that you need. I’m working on it trust me I’m trying with every being in my body.

I’m writing my heart out to create what is thought to my children's minds. being absent because of other reasons letting my children and wife know that I needed my wings. so I can fly just imagine Jesus not going to heaven. this is a place that had one last life and me accomplishing what I accomplish the dot lives on for eternity. the thought of separation from my family whether it’s in life or up above I’m here for y’all. the greatest gift the devil pulled was for people to think he didn’t exist in life. it’s not a myth.

So 12 got the video machine on the block who’s ever out there you have to fall back for a while because we don’t need you-know-what. please don’t be hard-headed because we know they are watching. people may not listen to what I have to say but this is the way to stay out of black justice feel me. we don’t need any free my guys we have to be smarter than that. it may start with little things like that and escalate to something big. I don’t need any of my guys doing time right now understand. so take the heat because it’s hot.

She said I must love her. I remember when shorty was trying to get me to take the train back to New York City with her. I said yes then I thought about it and didn’t go through with that. when I came back to New York City the bus pulled up in Atlanta someone that look like she got on the bus with me. at the end of the trip, she made her way to a seat that was right next to me. I remember vividly her asking me no I’m pulling out my book to make it look like I’m working and when I get back home things will change and guess what it did.

So as I just posted I just check and your picture just came up. it has been a while but it is better now than never. I know you did that because I just posted about 12 and again that’s you watching over me. even your body here on earth or your body up in heaven. I promise to show you that I’m willing to put aside our differences for the sake of our children. the way you show me is by actions and you seem to always do that. this is why I want you in my life. if this is the last thing on this earth I have to make it right by you.

When Aaliyah was here I wasn’t worried about a mother blanking thing because she made sure everything I needed she took care of. sometimes I wish she would’ve just let us be but I can’t cry over spilled milk. I just have to move on with my life but I know what I have to do. the only way to see you only if it’s called for it. I will continue with my life and keep it in God's hands. with Aaliyah letting him know that I’m hers. I know blessings will continue to come through for me. parting my back this is amazing.

How can you fear someone that has a dot on his hand? if the rainwater flood the streets but I got to watch the streets. the gun will go off feel me. my people telling me not to let things rush I have to take things slow. when you know you have someone to go home to. I hate all girls with material motives. this is why I stay to myself just to see things out because things can change before I let my daughter miss me. I’m fighting for her love and if you want to be her mother be lucky to me.

                                                            CHAPTER 149

This means my life was over when you walked out. I got so mad when you left I didn’t know what I was going to do. I got into things that I’m sorry for. I hope you can hear me physically. if you are here give me a sign to let me know. growing up in the streets I have learned a lot. the reason I’m not in the streets anymore is that you came inside of me. I know you are watching over me, baby. the last thing you told me was to handle yours and why I handle mine. I knew what that meant but I wasn’t ready for that conversation I accept it.

Let me tell you now if you want to cheat on me. I’m wondering if you changed when you gave birth because numbers add up. After all, you have this invisible dot on your hand. you should be proud of your sister because turning into this woman. trying to be a father figure to all of these kids someone that they can look up to. your body movement tells me that you want what’s yours. this company that I built wouldn’t be built without my family. some girl wants to do them but I don’t mind because I’m into other females.

If you don’t want a perfect love story. you will settle for the bad in a man but some females love men with the bad side of loving them. I want a female to respect my mind because I’m smart and if she has a business. she is working and I’m working but she may bump heads with other men before she gets to me. this is why I’m not the one to holla at her because I’m looking into my future. this is for those who can hear me working come second to my family. my family comes first and always will.

You walking past me showing me that you are feeling my vibes baby. is it time for me to come home? you can’t get upset if our plans don’t work out. I’m still running the streets. seeing you got me ready to undress you. your body got me ready roc. Do you look like you're about to diss me or are you ready for me to get in your sheets? the pain of losing you is a no-no. yes, this is the game I’m in for life. you keep me smiling I’m so proud to be the love of your life.

I want you to follow my lead baby I want to fly you all around the world and stamp your passport this is what I big man do for you. you are getting too comfortable and I’m telling you why are you going to change up on me? whatever happened in the past let’s leave it alone. when I was in the mood I never kissed or rub on her tits. this shit is hard I’m not throwing shade. I’m letting you know everything that went on in my life. my feelings weren’t in it only with one girl. thanks for thinking that I’m mature and not immature dub.

You have to show the females that played you what they will miss. I see you have changed your mind. I hope you can take the pain because this man is over you. you know what happens when you lose a good girl. she turns into a bad girl sleeping with different men. meanwhile, I have my eyes on these females that look like they see my vision. I can dig that all night you messed up and don’t think about coming back to me. this young man ain’t shit this is what she is saying goodbye to.

I’m trying to get back into your life but you are playing too many games. you know I got a new shorty she straight. I’m putting the time that I should’ve put in with you with her. I guess you know that I moved on. you need to stay here with your man. shorty bad as a mother blanker. this shit doesn’t make any sense. you see all of the things that we went through. I can see myself kissing your body and laying next to you. baby you better get your act together. this is why I keep my mouth close because females change men like clockwork.

The only thing you should be thinking about should be me. yeah, I’m holding my head keep me straight before things get out of control. dam I think this chick that I’m into might be playing me. how do I go about it finding out if she’s mine? I can see us riding throw states oh you want to stop and get something to eat? I’m finding out things that I didn’t know about you. how are you doing I see you are good with your fine ass. let’s say you did the opposite of being with me.

I have this feeling that waiting on you supposed to be Aaliyah only come once in a lifetime but it seems like she came twice in this lifetime. I knew she couldn’t see me by myself. so she made sure her life is felt in my life. what do you think I’m doing this for them other girls can wait until you are ready. I’m willing to wait until I go to heaven if need be trust me. you act just like her and you have shown your gangster so move closer to me. I remember what you told me when I came to your house and it was raining. where’s my umbrella I said right there.

Hope I have some Latin females that I see with y’all sexy asses. my company was put into place to help y’all. you know the name of my company is a Latin word right? I want y’all to know y’all came from us and don’t forget that. I’m taking care of all that you may want. the only thing I ask for is for you to respect me because I respect you. if we live by these rules we will be in a relationship that will not break up I know you want that. I spend money on you because you hold this man down yes we can play all night.

                                                              CHAPTER 150

Catch this fade with me being a gangster man. you lost me and this new girl found me and yes she takes care of me. what you know about going out with a man that has status. building a future with you. you know I’m trying to see if we can last forever and remain straight with one another. you want a man that will show you things that you never saw before. the way things are going yes I want to get next to you. you got me out here losing my mind because I can’t stop thinking about you.

What you should do is stand up for me but you keep letting me down. I’ll take that and deal with it. I’m letting you know never to try to come back to me. the way these other females are going to perform on me. you need me to take my time how can I with your sexy appearance? you should try someone knew this is what she is doing. how can I get mad when I know I’m one of a kind? you can seek another man like me but trust me, you will never find one that can compare to me.

Let's keep real the respect I have for you. you look so good to me. I see that you are a working woman. this man look for one that can take care of me. if I fall off you have to let me know if you got my back. we can travel wherever you want to go. looking into your eyes I can tell that you want me. earlier seeing you and you pass me by. you bet not cheat on me. this is the vow that we took when I became your boyfriend. so baby let’s look in the stars and feel what we can feel and see what we can see out there in space.

Accept for two girls I only had one night stand. one of them only got it twice the other one was like seven seas in 45 minutes. the first one was comfortable for me. I’m faithful and I wish everyone the best but I’m not going to see you if I don’t have to. you put me in a place where this shit is the get back. I know you want to come around but if not who cares. I hope y’all are the best without me. I’m not saying that I am a single man because I have other females that want this man to remain here with them.

Finding the right one to wife up with can be so hard at times but I’m working on a couple of shorties. I want to wipe your tears, I remember going to the bank and you were in there getting some money. when you were able to work you did let me know that you are willing to do it if it came down to it. as soon as I walked in to pay my bill by the time I finished paying my bill. the bank clerk made sure he gave you what you asked for. that’s how you get treated when you roll with me. there isn’t anything that you want that you can’t get feel me.

You mimic the game with what you see that goes on out there. you can’t pace yourself being under men that want that thing. you know I want to get back to you. I remember you telling me that I’m the one for you. how should I take this I mean what you were saying. what caption should I use smiley face or sad face? yeah, I know you move on but this man will find one that I can spend the rest of my life with. if that’s you show and tell. you covered things that you will never understand.

Your claims that she’s everything that you want. I’m head over heels for you. being a dime behind me the two of y’all. maybe you pass me the strap and get it. yeah, you played the game the way it’s supposed to go. what do you think I see when I see you? you are so much into me. yeah, I’m having that thought that you stepped out on me. thank you for coming to the park Latin with our children this is what I’m thinking to tell me if I’m wrong. I want to have you right now, you can’t make up your mind here let me make it up for you.

I know throwing money on you when you dance on me. I have this picture in my mind of all of y’all in one house with a dance floor. you dancing on me with panties and a bra on and I have my boxers on. can you feel what I feel yeah I know you do? I want to have my little strip club at my house. I know how this is going to go she wants me to throw hundreds on her and I’m saying no problem shorty. I can slide inside of you because with those clothes on. it’s easy to access feel me.

Coming to where she lived a day after Beyoncé gave birth to her first daughter. you got down on one knee and asked me to say yeah. my bad you said you are here for me. shotgun coming into the living room mother told me her name and I said hi. I’m sitting there taking out my hair to get it done. shotgun said she was going to the seafood place. I should’ve told her that I want something to eat but I didn’t. I feel the way you parted my hair. I remember when you moved up on me and put that cat on my neck.

How is the queen of this castle wearing sandals open toes at that with sweatpants on? that’s ghetto as he’ll remember I was coming from work and you were walking to the train station. the first time we talked on the phone. yes, I heard you when I passed your house and you said call now and I did just that. I’m not going to get into details because I already did earlier in one of my verses. you said a letter like Aaliyah said in a four-page letter and I sure did respect you telling me that Piru Mr. Freeze.

                                                                CHAPTER 151

If I tackle the whole team what will I end up with? let me guess because I need your mother to stay here. I remember me coming up one summer when I was out of town. your mother walked passed the block and I said hi and she turned around and said I know who she loves. I hope that is the same feeling she has for me. leading to showing our children that respect is important to you. doing things that are not ladylike will get you nowhere trust me. let them do what they’re going to do. you and I are different unless that’s what you want to do not.

Do you have my heart why else he will do 45 songs about you? you know that adds up to your sister's name. what more do I have to say about the connection that we have? I’m just saying if y’all want to move on. leave now so I can start over before it’s too late for you and me. I’m so caught unaware in this life that we have together. baby all I see is me making love to you. you should care about my feelings. the people that’s been in my life I will always love y’all trust me. I never want to leave my family because I love y’all.

Baby don’t change up on something so good to you. you might fall for a man that will take advantage of you. you should have a second opinion before you throw everything away. I have no more room especially when females doing their thing. you know it all will fall into place because I can get rid of some of them. I can save more money and they will be on their own. yeah, I think this is my plan no I know this is my plan. I wish you the best this life is for my children and I love what the women in my life do for me.

When you have this thing going on with women. Me, Myself, and I fall in love with you. what do you see that made you push that button? you look so wonderful if you need to talk I’m here because every woman thinks that men are all the same. this black man wants a family. I see you might think you are more intelligent than that. let me know if you want to take me back because nowadays other females play too many games. how will I see you before you go out with another man? I see things that you won’t see because my eyes are open.

J Stand For Jeremiah, Es Stand For Ellison, Us Stand For Usher, and the three of us were hung from the crosses. now we are back in this life and we need to stick together out here. I love and miss being with my brothers but trust me one day we will be together. I’m working on it I hope for the best for us. the way this life is going we need to pray for better days. I know things can get complicated for us but we need to keep pressing on. the streets don’t love anyone. so we have to keep in contact with who we are feel me.

She keeps calling my name when she has sex with me. she knows that I’m a big daddy Dymo you don’t holla at anyone. you better have a soft spot for this kid I mean man. you dress so fly let’s see that means you never had sex before am I right? if so I promise you are doing the right thing. there’s nothing wrong with that. let’s talk about this blood-shit yellow back meaning I want yours. you know what that means right? so what do you say and if so you need to have a blood drop soon.

You looking at me like I did something wrong no you did something wrong. love your life and I will live my life. just like there are other men there are other females. I don’t want to be a player anymore. I haven’t been a player for about 20 years. people may say why because I can’t be giving my goods to every female. this here is sacred and females can’t come inside of me. think about they’re doing any and everything with other men and you be kissing her and going down on her. you kissing what not me feel me.

Do you want to talk about how many females you got lined up for me? I need respect it’s mandatory. I can’t mess with a chick doing that shit that makes them look one way and that’s the way that men look at them like they want to stick that cat. if you can’t go by the rules you need to move on because this place isn’t for you. I’m telling you going down I never did that flesh in 36 years. maybe when I was like 12 years old. if I’m not mistaken I can’t pinpoint it. so understand if you want that you have to come correct or else nope change clothes.

Do you mind the closer I get to be with my family? this is why I’m maintaining my soul from looking at another shorty. I only think about the ones that have been in my life. when I had everything and lost everything and got it right back. you stayed with me so I promise to take care of you. anything my children need I’m here to give it to them. I’m just asking will you hit the block and get off all of these bricks? that’s about to come over here and if so thank you. just in case anything happens to me.

My fault I just woke up and it seems like you felt my slash because as soon as I woke up. you did something for me to notice you. as I was deep in thought my body was calling you baby. I can’t keep my mind from thinking about you. you know how the streets can get. this is why I need you to hold me down because females be tripping quickly. please don’t say something that your mouth can’t cash and if you are by yourself go ahead being single and have fun just not on my time.

                                                                CHAPTER 152

Saying what now protection right. what I don’t get is if I say it’s better here and you don’t listen move on. that’s where I’m at with y’all now and y’all know who I’m talking about. if you think the grass is greener on the other side be my guess. I had to control myself from the temptation and I did it if you can’t feel me get out. this is the shit that I’m talking about just in case. I just want y’all to know I have nothing else to say about that. I’m looking for a brighter future whether some of y’all are in it with me or not.

The way things are going I can’t get mad if you want to move on. a lot of females left me when they thought I fell off, and now look where I’m at now. this is the blessing I get from all of the females that stayed in my life. I’m here to live with you if I can wake up every morning with you next to me. trust me I will do you fix your face because if you living your life. that’s what I got out of that you know what. I’m not upset by any means go ahead with your life. I figured it out if I can’t see then things won’t hurt me. so let’s get out of our feelings.

Just things that come to my mind. if it’s true or not I’m going to keep writing. so you thought I was going to let this day go by without saying. this is your bday. I know you are thinking about how can we improve lives. staying together that’s one way trust the process and let life takes its course for you and me. you know there’s nothing more in this world I rather do than be there for you. your mother keeps saying when you had a toothache and I came to your house. the man that answered the door was your uncle and if it’s his child I’m glad.

Digital 10 if I sit here and say all the females that I’m supposed to be with. it has been 25 years since I slept with any of them shorty you were one year old. in New York City it has been 20 years and in all it has been 19 years. from 12 years old and I’m 36 years old right now and it has only been like 105 minutes, that’s 1 hour and 35 minutes right shit that’s nothing right. all clean here for the ones that are in my life now. I would never come to you used I’m new feel me and everything that I just wrote is true.

Sending your partner up here he likes to get dealt with. I want to know if this could be sharing the same birthday as me. are you okay writing booed up with you? I’m thinking about changing the whole scene up. I saw this man that looked like the person that was in your video now I’m saying how can that be? people shouldn’t have taken me for granted because you never know how much one can take. I’m so sick and tired of the bull shit. I use writing for therapy so I can release whatever I’m thinking about.

I just hope you are holding me down as I hold you down. I remember you calling me for a birthday cake and I told you I’m on my way downtown and you said okay when I got downtown I called you and you nor mommy answered the phone but I made it my business to pull up on you for your next birthday. ain’t you missing one when I say this and you say that this will be us coming together if this is so I’m grateful. that you choose me to be in your life. I want to see you sleeping next to me quite as kept.

So if you are having another child and both of your children is mine. if not you can deal with me writing this letter because you are looking at me like you wanted me to see you. I hope you weren’t showing me just to show me and it may mean nothing to me or do it. I’m only being different from other guys. am I one in a million because this is the way Aaliyah wanted me? I remember you walking across the street and I got up and have been writing from that day forward. I’m not trying to change up on you.

If you love someone let her go. if she doesn’t come back to you. she never was yours how can one be so sure about herself? I’m glad you are doing okay thanks to this relationship that we have together. a female will leave you if it doesn’t seem right. that’s why I need everything on the up and up with you. yes, you can leave but for what when I’m not doing anything wrong? I want to hear her say I’m never leaving you. we have to take our time and get to know one another and that’s exactly what we did.

Giving birth should be the happiest day of your life. I wanted to know if there are three baby girls and if you are the mother of all three of them. I want you to understand that I am here for the long run. Straightening this out was the best feeling in the world. I can’t help but know if you love me and seeing you today I know you are growing up into this woman. if there’s anything I can do I’m talking to your muck. there’s no question I have to be here for y’all. keeping my family tight I have received so many blessings.

I’m taking this to the head. you almost got me excited is that why you let me go first right. your body looks so sexy baby you are growing up beautifully. you look just like me and if this is so I’m happy to be your father. I see it now me passing you something to drink you probably don’t smoke. you adding up numbers to help her out. do you and don’t get discouraged about life because I’m here. I can’t wait to get inside of you. you are the queen and I’m faithful to my family.

                                                                CHAPTER 153

What do you think the dot means in sexy connection understanding me? people who have been faithful and faithful are what you want to be with me. you never want to know what your future means, and dedication to your heart will make you love your family. imagine me all over your body all night and in the morning you wake me up with breakfast cooked. I’m asking you do you want to go for round two and you telling me I’m not saying anything because you can handle me. I’m saying you think so let's see if that’s true.

Having this conversation with you tweety is something special. you are on my mind because you want to be on my mind. the way the show is going I’m going to keep this quiet as kept. the game that men run on a female. you can’t believe what men say because it can turn ugly and he might want to beat you up. I’m parting ways with anyone that thinks I’m not good for them. I need my kids to keep listening to me. this goes to my children's mother y’all have set a good example for our children and I’m here now to do the rest.

The start of something beautiful is what she told me. when we have a connection the conversation seems to be one that both of us want to talk about. she knows how hard it is to provide for her, and I’m doing my best to take care of you. the way things are going we mine as well do this together. trying to understand what you are going through right now and I know you can’t wait to come home. mother said that she was acting differently and said it was because you are having another child and I said that can’t be the reason.

What the blank is up if the connection hit me it better be a big load okay? I promise never to say anything. I guess when kiss said he will flow online. this is what I’m doing right now handling this business from afar. so make sure things get taken care of. when you are from the bottom you will grind until you get what you want. playing the game the way it’s supposed to be played. shorty choose the right person and now she’s straight. the business that I’m in is hard but as long as you have the structure you can do anything you put your mind to.

This is for my shorty that has given birth to my children and I see that you are having another one center is this the wish that I had. how can I be mad about females that did their thing? you just made my wish come true having one and then seeing you are glowing with one. if this isn’t so my fault for thinking it is mined but if it is I’m glad. I want to love you better I want to shower you with gifts by knowing that you can purchase things that you need. the connection is great from this point on you are my queen.

Just got the call that she’s home and everything’s okay. I know she feels so happy trust me I got this look on my face like God has blessed me with life breathing air into one soul. knowing that the slash is on another child. this is what I’m thankful for us growing together what is it that you are looking for? know more pain just relax and calm your nerves and be the mother of children that is ours. I will stop saying if not I have to man up. tell me what you need and she says just be here trust me there’s nowhere I will rather be.

Seeing is believing whether am I wrong for what I say or if am I telling the truth. if you know the truth and hold it in it will hurt you. he’s talking in doubles look in his eyes is what she said to me. all of this was done to me over money when I was younger and now that I stand here as a man. if one of your children had to deal with that. how would you feel let’s be real on that part. if you can’t feel my pain then this man means nothing to you. look how his own family can turn their back on him.

Some How Some Way, when I first came home your mother wanted me in your life. I can’t see you working because I’m not in the streets but if I have spit out this mother fucker. you just have to understand where I’m going with this. you have to listen to me. I just caught myself from saying you know what. this is the shit that I’m talking about people can’t understand the way life is sleeping with different men I can’t have that for my family are you prepared for life.

Yeah, I got that old thang back. so you better hold onto the man that loves you. if he takes care of you and you do some bull shit to him. he is not worried because if his money stops. you have to go out and take care of your business. best of luck with that if I see you. it’s hi and bye nothing more understand, it is so many females out here. females give it up with no problem, I like the one that makes me chase her, she knows exactly what she wants. I guess for now I will fall back.

Keeping her away from men that manhandle females. you only let her know what it is. this dot on my hand says it all for me. you have to sign on the dotted line. some females play games but playing with me gets you nowhere. you blocked me first for what I don’t know. I guess it's been over from that day forward I’m not looking back. I got some new females that are willing to give this young man a chance. so I promise to live up to your expectation. loving your body you can’t keep a good man down no thanks to you.

                                                              CHAPTER 154

She shows her true colors when things hit the fan. you are supposed to be there for me from day one. yeah I got some females on my mind, and I want to know who claims you. shorty got to play her role for me to respect her. you can’t pick one nowadays. everyone wants to go to parties but I’m home putting my company together. I know I’m going to face obstacles but I have to face them face first right? people can’t understand what putting this together meant for me. hard work and long nights and early days.

I’m just here for the game that she may play. you can’t believe any trick but the game that I ran. you are okay but how can you show me that you are different? I don’t need my shorty around other guys. if I get back on my shit I just have to throw a little game and I can plug any chick. the money doesn’t stop that’s the shit that I’m into right now. the bag I can’t take it with me but I can leave it to my next family meaning the generation. so the kids don’t have to hustle meaning selling drugs.

My shorty can’t eat any Books. teaching her to go to school to become smart education is important to understand. daddy is not in the streets and if I’m in it it’s only for a few hours. so stay blessed because I’m not going anywhere, Layla. I know your mother is proud of us. the first one that I lay down with can become her. if shorty, not her I’m on to the next one. I learned the game from the old-timers. some fell off and I know how this goes. you might have it when you are young but what about when you get older?

She is in labor right now as we speak. there are a lot of things going through my mind. the way she gave me the goal that men set of wanting a faithful female. they grow up is real and the glow-up is for real when I think of you. you make me wake up and think about you. I want to get next to you right now. my mind is thinking bad and good thoughts which one is it? you change me for the better with trust and belief. naming them both after names that I will understand that there’s a connection to me, you want me to show you there are better things in this world, not mine.

What you want from a man that has to grind from the beginning of time. Are you trying to be boo’d up with me? you have to watch these females they can have good intentions but intentionally will give you what you want. shit, I’m trying to wife you I’m talking about whoever is with me. the best part about this relationship is we never hurt one another. picture me in the future I’m going to ball but in time. I can’t wait until you show me that you love me back. I’m trying to get you in the bed rocking back and forth.

A female will never change and if she does it’s because she found a man. that's willing to show her new things. yes, I have a soft spot in my heart. I remember when she said ever sin but that was back then. I’m moving with shorty that’s holding me up and when I’m down. she sticks by my side. dates back to when I first got my daughter's picture on 10/7/17. 9 months are approaching and you're about drop a baby girl. if this isn’t truly mine. I have to stand, I remember your uncle makes things easy at the dice game and cuts nice following the phone call, but not mine.

What do friends mean it can mean you do your thing. like friends with benefits, I’m not looking for that. I got too much paper to be playing with different females because if I get stuck on child support plus I have a little girl by Aaliyah. how can I disrespect her that will never happen. so looking for a lot of friends that are only with me, not friends that are giving it up to the first man that you talk to. should I fall asleep right now I remember when I said I have to look my child in the eyes and let her know that everything’s okay.

So, baby, you make up the days. I spent doing you dirty but I’m here to say sorry and I’m asking from my heart do you forgive me. the makeup is real but for real I’m not getting out of my bag. so know this the money will keep coming in until the day I die. who you know shotgun you think too much she’s on her way connecting with you. all of this adds up to dates. this is why I believe y’all. you made me into the man that I am today. people say for every door closed in your face a better door opens up. so I have to move on proud of myself.

When you are upset with the way life is going. You as a person have to change your way of thinking. it’s not always about winning or losing. it’s about the fight you gave nowadays people don’t want to own up to what they have done. so people hide behind other people. the way I see things other people might not see but I do. taking food off of my plate means my kids can’t eat and I have to feed my children. the thought of my children not knowing where their next meal is coming from is hard for me to digest.

You have the freedom to be who you want to be right? so choose wisely who you want to be and make that into who you are now. showing strength in any situation makes you the man you are today. please don’t let anyone shame you for being a man. people with no guidance do any and everything no matter the price they will have to pay. I’m glad I learned to follow what I think is right out here. you have grownups telling these young kids it’s alright to kill and carry weapons on them.

                                                              CHAPTER 155

When you have this feeling in your mind. you may ask how you feel mind having good thoughts. it will make your whole body feel a certain way. I’m trying to keep that feeling that you give me if my heart shall break it’s because of you going out. what if I decided to go out and be in all of these females' faces? she said let’s not go there and I said why not. I think this is the right time to talk about it. she said not now I said when will be the right time and she responded never.

We are going into both of y’all months. I’m wondering what date is your due date but I guess I have to sit back and wait until I get that phone call. you thought I couldn’t do nine months but I did. the reason I’m doing this is that Aaliyah is supposed to be inside of you or is she not. she responded you know she is here and I said thank you. you made it here with me and we are proud of you. what are y’all waiting on time is passing y’all by? you mean all should think about doing it now or forever hold your peace.

Look how far we have come. my body is connected to my head and my head is a temple. I’m ready for her to drop if all three of us live in the water. this shit is driving me crazy, I've been looking for you all day. seeing you walking up the block with your little man and me wondering if he’s mine. I’m glad y’all gave me a chance to make this work. I’m so into you my blood pressure is building. you know people say one hand washes the other. I know people doubted me but I have gained the world and I’m not looking back for anything.

Who’s going to love you more than me nobody? I see all that has been taken care of and I’m happy y’all are happy. there’s nothing more I want than to see you win. building this with you oh my God my mind stays running even when I try to sleep my mind keeps running wanting to work. work is something that I signed up for. you better watch your mouth before you say something that can help our relationship out. tell me what you want to do to me. if I may say so you are a wonderful woman.

Believe me, when I say I want to be home with you. every day seems like a fight between me and you coming together. you want me to see things your way, and trust me I’m listening and seeing what you are telling me. I’m trying to be this man that you want. I understand ways do change but if we change with it. the only thing that comes from doing good is a beautiful life. I want to be home with y’all. this is why I come home early because I have a home to go home to before you leave me. I want you to know that I need you.

You have to follow your heart all the time. when emotions are a part of your life you can think differently. I had to wipe the tears right from my eyes. if you are thinking about what I said in that post. I just want you to know I’m faithful and I never wanted to part from you. look at what we are doing now. I’m proud of everyone that stuck by my side because when the road got rough. you were there for me and I genuinely appreciate that from my heart. let know female take me from my family.

If time is of the essence what do we get for being in time with essence? yo walking with you in the park at the place where everyone wants her. I remember playing in the snow making angels in it with Aaliyah. we both had on red bubble coats. we had the same outfit on mine was the boy kind and yours was the girl kind. after playing for hours throwing snowballs at one another. people may say I’m bugging but if it’s not true why my middle name is Elijah and her name is Aaliyah?

What more do you want from me? that’s what I asked her and she said give me whatever it is you have hidden in your mind. I said what about what’s in my heart, she said you have to express what’s in your heart, and then the mind will follow. I said you know me so well. I see you pushing them big whips I'm glad you riding big. I never want to take this from you. you have everything you want. it’s my pleasure to have you riding right and jewelry sitting well and your body. yes, you have glitz and glamor I’m proud.

What you should do from now on, when you get a 3rd done start re-up so people do not have to ask if are you restocking items. the same way you push me is the same way I’m pushing you trust me. this business that we have the only thing I can say is I’m proud of all of us. this shit doesn’t come easy but as long as our head is in this business that we run. I know everything’s okay on y’all part but we have to pick this shit up so much more. so we don’t have to worry about the future.

I’m diggin’ on you. So you have reached this day and I’m sure that you can drop by any day now. If I went to a cookout. You would be on the other side of the park looking at me looking at you. Yeah, you are the finest thing I ever saw. Can you tell me what song this is from? I want to come and light fireworks for children that are mine. I know you won’t put me in that kind of predicament. You are here on earth taking care of our children. I’m so glad I came home to y’all healthy because if I wasn’t. I’m sure I will be hurt right now but I’m not.

                                                            CHAPTER 156

It ain’t about if I should trust you. I need to trust you because yes I want to start here. If this doesn't work where do I start? I’m not going to start until I open my company and see Layla if you don’t start this. This will be another child you are having and I can’t help but wonder if she is mine. You always make sure I’m not in the streets. I’m comfortable with you being in the house for days. You know how one can trust what was back in the day. I asked not to but some still do. So let’s play this out because starting here is all I want to do.

Having the both of y’all. Trust me you tremendously helped me. I know when you want to give me inspiration and insight on what you want me to write. So here it is I’m so in love with my family. I never want to mess up again and I’m saying that in the most sincere way. I’m glad y’all stuck by my side and look at the outcome of our journey. I have been here for all of y’all life and I never let y’all down. At this time I never want to move on. I remember what you told me about life.

Are you into what I am doing? before I let you get away from me. I promise to show you things that a man can show you. As long as you know what I am trying to do to you. You want me to make it up to you. This day I’m pleasing you tonight. The only way inside of you and that there I’m willing to go in. What are you trying to show me? this is the shit that I’m talking about can you control me. You say one thing and mean another thing. So how do I figure you out and what are the stages? I have to take it.

Seeing you today and I mean your sexy self made young lady turned into a young woman. Tell me why I’m getting excited about seeing you. Yes, I was and will continue to get excited about you. That’s the little man you were pushing or am I out of my mind? Am I out of your league is what she asked me and I responded no? I can’t wait until I get you naked because that body looks so sexy. I need to see you some more. You are my girl and I will continue to do good by you. What do you say about making love to me?

Every time I get this feeling that you are looking for me. I come to see you. I can’t wait until I get all of y’all in one space because I want that. How can you look the way you look walking to me? I want to grind on you for a minute baby. The calling me you caught me before I was leaving. You picked up and came to see me. Let’s not let that go over your head. If she decides to go down on me. I will go down on her too. How are you living your life? It better be in my life. This life that we have I can’t see it being with someone else.

Speak when spoken to. When you say you love me that makes sense to me. When I say I love you I mean it. Everything should make sense to us. You have to fill me up with your emotions. Baby, can I get off of my knees? You have me going down, why are you rubbing your hands through my hair? This cat smells so good I can’t keep myself from that place that only I’m supposed to be going inside of. You want to change up the reason we are not having sex right now is that I want to imagine myself inside of you until that day comes.

God put people in your life to see how much you are willing to take care of them. Yes, intentionally we may bump heads. I wasn’t trying to be the boss but if I’m working harder than everyone let it be. Nobody said anything when you know who gave you that position. People were happy right so why not be happy for me? You hit it right on the spot about what I just heard. Am I speaking in codes because people that know what went on in the world refuse to say anything? People from the hill lost people and people acting like it's alright streets are done.

In this game, you have to follow the rules or someone will do something to you. You never know who wants to get you out of the way because you are getting too much money. Watching my back is a must out here. Move the way you are supposed to move feel me. People make their own rules. People can get locked up and tell and come home. People will still hang with them. Once a teller always understands, people get the game messed up and I’m talking about whoever fits in that category. If the shoe fits, wear it.

You want to run up a check. you can’t run it up if I don’t pay for it. you called it money in these streets. it depends on where you hustle at. you make one wrong move and it’s over before she sees me sweat. I have to go out of my way to provide for you. this shit doesn’t make any sense. you think this going to last forever says Eli. when you have a female like that saying your name means you got the shit lockdown. when that shit happens and ace got that money. I was in queens with Nas getting drug money. that’s how he got it.

You have my heart so treat it the way you want your heart to be treated. this world I can’t imagine life without you. I know you are having a baby. but I can’t help to ask is mine both of them are. the other day I came to see mother and she told me. that she has to wipe the table down. I know that came from what I posted. how much love I’ll show you. you show me back baby because you mean the world. yes, I want you to get off of the steps and walk into my bedroom and make love to me.

                                                             CHAPTER 157

The time we have put into this relationship should mean something and should last forever right? you shouldn’t let anyone inside my bed. remember I have to go inside of Aaliyah and I can’t go inside of another female that had someone inside of them before. I’m trying my best not to slash anyone that had sex before. if you never had sex before then we can talk and hang out. I’m trying to keep myself clean because I have to go to Heaven and see my baby. trust me I can’t let her down.

The reason I ask you not to be in clubs, where there is another guy is that I’m not in clubs with other females. I ask for respect please don’t do things behind my back. I’m not having any of that, you are supposed to be my woman. I mean others willing to take your place. please don’t think I’m sleeping with anyone. it doesn’t matter you can’t bring anyone in. the only way they have to have a clean life is because I can’t afford it. so get that off of your mind. you coming clean so bring clean females.

You seem to have your eyes on me. baby tell me what you want to do to me. we've been dating for some time now. so we should be doing grownup things and that’s me undressing you. you look so good to me. I want you right now baby get your fine ass over here. this the shit I’m talking about the way you walk in that sundress. moving their hips side to the side got me ready to do you right now. wherever I can get it trust me I’m with it. she said this is the freaky side of me. I said let’s go to my home so we can get in my bed.

Baby, can you let me know if you are for me or someone else? you keep telling me I’m the only one for you but I don’t think so. my mind has thoughts and this makes me so ashamed because she could be sleeping with someone else. how can I keep my mind on this maybe I need to move on and find the love of my life. I know you won’t care because you are doing your thing. there are so many other females out here. you want me to go by your rules but the question should be are you going by my rules?

Show her things that she’s not custom to before I leave. I have to find you in that place you were in when you use to love me. how can I find that woman whose life was better for me? you know I will never put my hands on you. shit, we never fought or got loud with one another before. why would you want to get in a relationship that may end up like that? the man might beat on you and call you all types of names. you are going to do what you want to do. just hear me out before it’s too late because you don’t need that in your life.

You have changed me for the better, now that I think like a man and not a little boy. you should love those who love you. so many females give the man that’s not right for them. the chance to be in their life, maybe I need to not give blank about a female. then maybe she would want to be with me. if I treat her with respect she says I’m too nice but if I give her my ass to kiss. she loves that shit but I’m leaving her alone because that’s not the man I am. one that gives their goods to anyone labels her as a female they give it up to anyone.

You say you will make me happy but I can’t tell because you are with your girls hanging out. doing lord knows what she acts like it’s me but I know it’s her all along. bad things keep running through our minds. I know I can’t trust you because of your past. this is what she said to me but you want to spend all of my money, you see dollar signs when you are with me. how much am I supposed to take from you, you call yourself a queen. so you can’t be acting like a thot, I’m a king and this is the way I act 24/7.

For all of the ladies, that’s been here for me. I truly appreciate your man love and the way you take care of me, you know I’m telling you all of this to get next to you. so we can lie down in bed. Do you think we’re going to make it up the stairs? I’m going back in time, you called me at 2 or 3 in the morning. you did that so I can have your phone number. I text you the day after that. you kept asking me who is this and I kept saying is this my girlfriend? yes, I was trying to keep myself anonymous. all along you knew exactly who you were talking to.

You want to upset me. I have to ask are you doing things to make me unhappy? you are always pulling my arm. what about those cuts I keep thinking about it are you over it because I’m not and if friends were your friends? they would’ve been here for me. please don’t have me talking about this and you're on some other shit. I dedicate my life to making yours great. what about coming down south and pouring hundreds of thousands on the table? your daughter said that alright, she’s on point.

How did I get myself into this with you? you need to cover me as I cover you. this shit is hard by far not easy. you need to tell me what you want out of this relationship. I’m trying to get you naked and in my bed. you are the love of my life. so act like it and hold your head high. I can see you me walking down this path always. you say something and mean something else. you should take your time with me. so I can appreciate you tonight. you look so good to me. yes, I want this life with you.

                                                                CHAPTER 158

Do you think this young man wants to be a playboy? you know I want all of y’all two at a time in my bed. I had it one time in my life and that was when I lived in convent. you know who I’m talking to right? I’m sorry I had to leave but someone else called me. so I had to go and put her to bed, both y’all were grown and the person that called me was as young as me. you changed my whole life. so don’t get mad at me for what happened, the goal I’m with, is you should always believe me and what I say.

I want to lay up with you right now, you seem to have a chip on your shoulders. is that the bad or the good side of you? this can be Jesus or the Devil. please listen to the one on the good side. you know how I feel about you. times have been long but if we don’t cheat on one another. I’m so into you and the way you treat me. I can't exactly say I’m lost in your body. that’s when you let me inside of you. I hope you don’t change up on me before we get into that I want to make everything right as I look at you and see the world.

I’m deep in my feelings. you ought to show the good side of yourself or should I say the great side of you. I’m making a call to all of y’all stay here. I’m working hard for you because you should love the way I move up on you. the last time we talked been so far behind us. how can I say this is over when we just started this life that we have. the past shouldn’t determine who I am today. the thought of me walking out again. you keep saying it’s my fault but you had something to do with it. what I am supposed to do without you.

You are so secretive about your life. you need to yell at the top of your lungs. get it off of your chest before you can’t take it all in. tell me how you feel when I’m not there with you. who are you holding close to you or am I losing you? if I weigh it on my Libra scale. you see me working to better our life. so our surroundings will be better for us when that day comes when we lay down. I can’t get you out of my mind. how will I know if you are ready for me, baby doesn’t lie to me because I always told you the truth.

When do you speak you speak in words that I can understand alright? I will never listen to you if you are crying to me. I can see tears in your eyes. I want to bypass that situation. do you want to jump-start my mind? I didn’t want that to happen, I could’ve slapped that hitch. I do not want to keep anything from you. I want everything to be on the up and up. I was only 14 years old. so please don’t get mad. people say I have a hot head but I’m keeping myself cool. Do you better not touch anyone got me? I’m calling shotgun riding with me.

I just want to bless you with my heart. baby girl the calls and now I’m asking to speak to her. mother told me that you are upstairs. you should be relaxing because your due date is coming. why tell me things like this oh but this time I called and she told me this. when my mind is fucked up because I don’t know if children are mine. thanks for the blessings you have gifted me with. not for nothing you gave me that. so I will accept it and move on if need be but why should I move on if you are telling me everything is okay?

You make me want to give up on you. the way the beat comes in on this track. you are a tacky little chicken head. in the waterfall. you said you have to make it up to me. yeah, my stepping out was your fault. the question should be how am I going to forgive you? you want to pop this bottle with me, by the way. I do not smoke, so you have to smoke that by yourself. please don’t be acting shady with me. you, on the other hand, bet not disrespect me and you know what I am talking about right, this should be privacy for us.

Taking you to that next level. I can’t have sex with a female that let another man run in her. this here is for the ones that wish my luck. when I was down and out. so keep listening to me because I’m patient. yeah, I’m sick of your stuff. my mind can get crazy loose and full of passion. you need to get your sexy ass over here before I self-destruct inside of you. how can we count to 26 without using me on top of you? you see what I see then let me whisper something in your ear.

Yeah, this Harlem shit got a young man looking like anything can happen. you know it's on sight because Jay z just hit me and Beyonce. my birthday is 317. They got a name of a song on their album called 713. At the end of one of their songs. they said verse if you wondered what she was talking about. if you don't know the connection is there feel me. you live to hustle and get money while you are here. you should always understand the rules of the game. if you are going to play them. thank you for the album great piece of work.

You know this shit is popping when you have people that say you handle your business. my shorty wants everything that I can give her. she doesn’t know what cheap shit is. you are better off spending all of this money. you have cars and everything is paid for. I see you wearing a chain what about that chain I brought you? you need to pass that down if you still have it. you need to watch your mouth. you talking about you well oh I know because you have me by your side. the only thing you have to do is count the money up.

                                                                CHAPTER 159

I know today is the day that you tell me I’m good with y’all letting me continue to write. as long as you are holding me down. pictures can say 1000 Words. I know that you called me at the a.m. I’m happy that I receive a phone call from you. you should always keep me next to you just in case things turn out differently. knowingly you letting me see her a day before makes me feel good. my guess is you know what you are doing. so let’s keep this up and I will continue to receive the blessings that you give me.

The moral of the story taking responsibility for whoever’s in my life. you want to go out dancing yeah you ain’t leaving me. so beware that you are mine. you can bring your friends because I like knocking off friends. Does everyone welcome you got me? I’m a straight savage you think you are a gangster prove it. I got people that are willing to catch bodies for me. I have to clear up my credit because it’s money in it. if your credit is excellent you can get anything you want. this is why I have people that invest in me.

I want a female that can throw it back. you know what I want a female that can run this business. it’s a lot of money in this game. you have to be willing to get with me. using my name you letting me know something like you want this. you know I’m just playing unless it’s true. I have bad hitches that get their own money. they can buy anything they want with my money plus hers. there’s nothing we can’t do. things that Aaliyah used to do for me like always running with me when we had to exchange drugs for money.

Trying to close this before the night end. the girls in the ghost always show love. you can't afford this is what she said. I said shorty I have money and I can put you in a place. where you can have millions or billions or trillions in your bank account. please call this a trick if you have baby mothers you do it for them. she called to tell me she has 3 weeks to go. you are aiming for the beginning of next month. at least you are playing in that month and you are closer to a shotgun. I know what you think when you are ready go for it.

What you see is what you get trust me. I will never change the people that help me get to where I am today. we all can eat off of this plate that I made. it's a big enough plate. as you can see money doesn't make me I make the money. this is what y'all get wrong. yes, you can ball out until I put it on you when that time comes you’ll see why you waited so long. I just hope that cat is worth it. she stays acting like she's ready but is not. you better put on for the city is what she told me and I said don't worry I will.

Having faith is what she keeps telling me and I am saying I do but my head hurt from writing so many songs. I need some sleep but she said if we sleep she knows we will be weak. so I have to listen to her because she knows what is best. every day since you have been growing a child inside of you. I have been writing verses Beyonce said you are doing fine is that true she asked. well yeah in some sort of way because the pressure stays on me. so I have to continue to make hits. my mind keeps storing information.  

She always fronting in front of her friends. I'm telling you this now shorty looking at me. what you want to ride with me. you just make sure I don't see something that will turn me off. she is shaped like a candy bar. I know it isn't good for me. young chick makes this grown man change him on her. she will be older before anything happens. she has to do more growing up and I'm here for it. clubs you can't be at got me or else you will never date me. I need everything clean feel me so take care of that.

This was by far the hardest 8 months and 6 days but trust me it was well worth it. when you want to accomplish something you have to put your mind to it, and for it to happen I'm glad you believed in me. I want to say thanks to God for allowing me to have these blessings. yeah, she thinks she is one of a kind but so easy you can be replaced. oh, you think I'm playing do it looks like I have a joke look on my face if I'm playing try me and see what happens. she said now you just talking out of your ask me.

It seems like we are going in the right direction, after all, it has been a long time since I been in your life but I'm here now. so what are we going to do? I know buying you clothes and cars and houses won't win the heart of women. see women look for validation. she looks for a partner one with that she can spend the rest of her life. if you’re not that man that wants a woman like that. I'm quite sure she feels the same way as me. the part when you say you love me how can I be so sure of that when you never showed me that you care for me?

So we have come to the number 4 leaf clover and it feels so good to be here. you should be proud of yourself because you stuck with what you wanted. this is the way you are supposed to think. you are supposed to block every distraction out. you shouldn't prevent yourself from accomplishing your goals. you live and you learn you have to make mistakes to learn from them. the way I see it you have one choice you go to the top or you stay at the bottom. everything I did was for my family. 

                                                              CHAPTER 160

People might look at me and say I lost my best friend. but the way I see it she came inside to protect me from the evil of death. I just want to live for her and do what she wants me to do. being all in my feelings because I might not ever find someone like her. who can I trust out here if you say trust you how can I. when you are playing two sides? you did what you needed for you to be okay or was you doing all of this for me to get next to you? I want to know which one is it. I can't take this anymore so tell me the truth.

When you outburst when shit gets popping. you make all kinds of moves, and you first have to know who you are beefing with. I never gave up when I had nothing feel me. I made things understood with the kind of person I am, the streets don’t change people just change. so you have to know what you are getting into before it gets deep. the way things are going you have to hold your head out here. people gamble with their lives every day of their life. so why wouldn’t I protect mine?

So mother called me today telling me she's coming back home tonight. she said she will call me when she touches down and let me speak to you know who and she said I can also see her tomorrow. I guess what I asked in the previous post you are telling me it's a go right? I don't want to step on anyone's toes because I wouldn't want someone stepping on my feet. I'm expressing the what if it's better safe than sorry better late than never right? I'm keeping this here in my prayers because I want this to be true.

Follow the rules of the game. that people don't follow anymore. it's like people are telling 12 what this young man is doing out here. you're supposed to have shit lockdown. yeah, this shit can get crazy because you never know when 12 coming to stop you. if I have to go to black justice trust me I'll do my time. shit you know it's in my blood. that's the code of the streets. nowadays the codes people aren't hearing what I am saying. the game is over it are only a few people that still live by those rules.

People hustle to make a come-up in this world. I can't understand how people hustle and never come up. you can't be out here hustling for fun. a person like me needs that money because my children depend on me to put food on the table and a roof over their heads and clothes and their back and their bank account full. who thinks I'm not going all out for them I'll be damn feel me if people take money out of my pocket my children won't eat and I can't have that right. so continue to grind and watch 12 and people that's talking to them.

When you trying to climb levels and push things to the max. you will always try hard to accomplish the goals that you set. are you sure that she is mine because I can't be having different thoughts? I'm still getting calls for things that you may need. this money shit asking me I mean that it isn't about the paper right. you just want help from me because it's in your heart that I think children may be mine but I'm looking at your uncle could that be his child or am I bugging out? everything adds up so continue to give me information.

Are you just going to take your sweet time right? if it was my way of seeing is believing trust me if you can’t have it one way you sure can have it another way. this shit doesn’t end unless you change your mind about where we need to be. fighting to have you in my life. this shit here is hard on me because what am I supposed to think about what has taken place in this life. when I see things and hear things. am I supposed to take heat from it? you never know what’s hiding in her because it can be right or wrong.

Okay so now you show and tell what I’m supposed to be doing. let me address this right now you think you run this but it’s the other way around. you are the one I show the most respect for and you know this. so I have just seen her excuse me for writing everything down. that goes on in my life if I don’t how will I keep track of it? you have to keep this up until we see one another got me. you show your true color when you are by yourself but when you are with others. you show something different from when you are with me.

So what if she wants to change because she's getting tired of the same man in her life? what if he's getting tired of the same women in his life? you rather give up on something so promising for something that may only last for a month or two. something that means nothing but sex. I think not because if I have a queen I have to treat her like one. I can never forsake her because she's the only one that gives me the strength to work every single day. why change when I'm winning with who I am with? some people just want something different but not me.

People have to be humble if they want to make it in this business because you can get hit up. if you talk too much about how powerful you are. you should keep it on the low because that will make 12 make you a target out here. people that talk like they the shit are usually the ones that need people to back them. as for me I move alone so people can't tell 12 what I did or if I'm doing something wrong that can lead to me going to black justice. so I have to remain strong out here or take a loss but for now, I'm winning.

                                                               CHAPTER 161

You always tell me that I’m not the right one for you but now the money is up. you want to be by my side I think not. if you weren’t with me from the beginning. you can’t be with me now. the only way to show you that I care is by me giving you my all. you shouldn’t press me because I will fall back and find someone else Nah I’m just playing. let’s get this paper and make sure you follow the setup that I have. I cannot lack because people depend on me. so while I’m here I’m getting things done.

You show all of your goods to people that do not deserve to see them. go head player play on meanwhile I'm in it for the long run. how can you help me build more for us? this is why I put you in school so you can be smart out here. my business mind and your school smarts there's no telling how far we can go. common sense is called for believe me miss you can have what you want just stick with me and you will find out why I did this. this is truth or dare or consequence or repeat.

So we were here fighting in our minds about if I write you will let me see you. how come it has to be tit for tat. you sure look like you are a grownup to me but you like playing little kid games. I guess that is what keeps us young. I'm ready to grow up and be the man that you need. that's what I was saying when I was young and now that I have stepped up to the plate. there's know better feeling in the world trust me. I want you to feel me on this. my family means everything to me and you know this woman.

I'm trying to put things together so we can help one another out. like this clothing company that will be owned by us. if you will do me a favor by modeling my clothes. I promise when it's time it will happen for us. I want y'all to run this just as much as me. if you listen to what I say I will be with you and I'm grateful you have listened to me. if you haven't listened to me I will never be with you because this family is for us. I do not work this hard to lose you to the streets. I have to look at you and you have to look at me.

Y'all have to pay attention to what's going on in this lifetime. you can have it all one day and then lose it the next day because God works like that. when you help people out good things can happen to you. it may not happen right away but it will so be patient okay? you can't be out here changing bodies and bodies with other females. you have to stay to who you know. Jesus died at 33 and the 16th was Aaliyah's birthday and the 17th was my birthday. so who's holding one in the chamber me that's who. I'm not using this for evil but for good, P's, and Q's.

When you want this home to work but it can get out of hand. we have to see and hear one another out if we want this to work. you build a home with love and respect and peace of mind. yes, I want to wake up with you next to me every day of my life. I want all of y'all in one home so I can be like a kid in a candy shop. I can pick who I want to sleep with and I can sleep with a different female for months at a time. the first one that I sleep with won't sleep with me for another 4 or 5 months because this is how many different females I have in my life.

I want to dive deep into your Red Sea. when I parted the sea that was me opening up me being a person that hasn't had sex since I was born all over again. that is how I cleanse my body so you wouldn't have to ask that question where I have been and who I have been with. trust me it's nothing and isn't this enough evidence to tell you that I'm a faithful man? you can't go back on the conversation we had. when you moved down south didn't me and Aaliyah come to see you to make sure everything's okay with you?

The more I let this feeling I have out. the more I feel alive and in the present time. I'm pouring out my love to you, this is our world together for life. baby, you make my day go smoothly trust me. I'm overwhelmed because you always show me that you care for me. I'm trying to put this back together but I'm still young. we have our whole life ahead of us. I want to work for you so when we get older we will have. I'm so into you because you have shown me that you are that woman that I need baby show me the key to your heart.

People saying something about a picture. when you can't find love anywhere nowadays. you should be happy yes he stepped out of his comfort zone because his wife, not his girlfriend but his wife asked him to do this for her. tell me if you have a wife and she wants a simple pic with you like that. better than her doing the most because it can get worse. that's the problem as men we do not know how to do things that the wife wants us to do. look at me writing love songs because this is how my wife makes me feel.

When you live that life of being a drug dealer. I need that girl over here what are y'all waiting on, this shit does not stop we have to keep this up. yeah, I know that we are halfway through that 400 billion that cocaine brings in a year. am I just writing this or am I living it? you will never know but if the connect ship that over here. you will know for yourself. that I'm not playing my kids got to eat. let's say I get caught I'm going to the hospital to do my time. the way this young man set it up. I'm only expressing what if. 

                                                                 CHAPTER 162

Look there's no place I will rather be than with you. I see you are working and I know you see me working. putting our minds together we will run this world trust me. I will be there for you. unless you want this to end I will go my way. why would you want someone to have what you helped build? this is like giving your company to someone that just says give it to me. you are supposed to love what you do because I love what you do. by the grace of God, we will have everything that we want and we will go wherever our minds take us. 

Yes seeing you so happy makes me glad, the way you carry yourself. you're not in the streets doing whatever it is to get by. you waited on me to get right and I know you didn't mind. the little bit of money that I gave you was enough for you. you took that and were happy and me doing it was from the heart and now you have everything that you want for it's yours. this is what you get for waiting on me to get right. the streets don't love anyone but this is a better place to be than out there with all of that bull shit.

How can one man hold the key to so many females' hearts? this is why cause you first show them that you love them. if you be faithful to one and they see that then all of them will be with you. just in case you can’t see I should’ve walked down the block. both of y’all look so sweet I mean sexy as hell. when it hails that means cold pebbles of ice. you should understand the rain because this is what I control. people use to say when it rains that means Jesus is crying is that true?

Watch us reach higher standards. you decide for me if I’m worth being in your life. yeah, I’m watching you watching me. the way people part from their relationship. you told her you would give her the world. you gave her a child by now she’s looking for love. No is the same day and same month probably the same year. where did it go if this person told us mess with them and then when it happened that person got mad? that’s the only reason you did what you did to get back at me right?

When you were seeing her and she mushes you in the head. relaying a message that dmx said in Aaliyah's song I miss you. this should be evidence that she loves you and respect what you did for her since you always let me know what it is I’m glad for you being in my life. you should know parts of her life that no one knew, straight understanding that you needed help. I hope you didn’t think I was going to use money and say if you don’t put out I’m not giving you anything. that right there is someone that I would never be.

Y’all think there’s somewhere I will rather be. the answer is no I’m comfortable where I’m at. growing with you, and yes mother called me last night. telling me the good bad, and ugly and I know what that means. I want to hold you close to me because if I fall off. I know you will be there for me, so why would I disappoint you. for the sake of our children I want more for us. I want to stay right here. if this is the first and last thing I do I want to make you happy. you have my heart so let’s stay together forever.

Trying to find out what she likes is hard and it takes a lot of time. if we work together we can accomplish anything that we put our minds to. before you say anything just think about it. you may not understand what I was working on when I first started but now you see the light and it’s brighter than ever. your love makes me the man I am because I value your time with me. will this relationship go up or down before you say yes or no believe me when I say I’m here for you honey?

I saw someone in you when I first saw you. I’m wondering if you can fulfill her shoes but if she chooses you to be her or should I say this is who you are? you know what happened to me the other day. I’m standing waiting on transportation and I see this beautiful young lady that I think the world of. I hope you love me the same because I’m fighting to make this work. I’m fighting and I want to know if you are fighting with me. I’m here now and I promise I will never walk out of y’all life.

When these thoughts run through my mind. I always seem to think about you, when was the last time you made love to me? I know it’s been a while but if we pray, it will come to us so don’t worry. I want to give you everything that you want. you have my soul body and head. this is what she said to me and I responded by saying your love is one of a kind. I support my children 100 percent I want y’all to understand that. I know I was young when I had y’all but I didn’t give up. this is why my dot rotates inside of your body.

I see so many cute females when I’m not looking but y’all can get it. this is the plan can you wait on me or should I be saying I’m waiting on y’all? I need one night to prove that this was the right choice that you made. I’m so happy that you are in my life. this is just the beginning we have so much more to go trust me. you are a split image of me. I’m wondering if y’all want to go back to our heaven because we don’t share the same heaven as everyone. you know that by the dot being in my hand. I’m telling you this is where Jesus lives.

                                                              CHAPTER 163

You are so lovely to me. this is what I’ve been waiting for someone like you to come into my life. you gave me the passion to write again. you sure are a blessing. when I was out of town I did nothing wrong feel me, therefore you, believe me, there weren’t other women that I looked at. so when you see me you see a man that was faithful to you. I brought my love home because I would be lost right now if I didn’t. you complete me did you know that this is the element of surprise?

Playing that song keeps me thinking you were with someone else who would it be? this is just an inside joke between you and me. I hope you find the humor in what I just said because I can’t stop laughing over here. you played that song as you cooked I mean for me. what if you are cooking for someone else now? you did things for you and not for us. when are you going to mean when you are wrong or is everything on the up and up because if it’s on the down bottom? I have to fix this heart and trust me if Aaliyah isn’t there I can move on right away.

In the case of what I said. what y’all would’ve taken that to y’all grave right. got me thinking I was the only one doing something. y’all moved first right so I don’t have to explain anything to y’all. I’m wondering was y’all dancing there. I know it’s true because homeboy was with them. that’s a good thing that I remembered it. I was holding it for over 26 years. so when I think about it what else are y’all holding from me? I hope y’all had fun so please don’t get mad if I never say anything to y’all again feel me.

It’s funny cause y’all had me thinking it was all me when y’all did something first was y’all kissing on people there. what y’all had on so now that I think about it. I probably felt disrespected is that the reason I went out. how did y’all fix y’all mind to step out on me? is this what he was laughing at when I saw him like I didn’t know. y’all don’t need to explain anything I don’t want to hear it. I’m so done this is like a blessing because I now know I don’t have to be with them. I haven’t touched one of them in over 28 years.

I’m not throwing shade I want what you can afford is that this life together. you say you want me to be your all but I don’t see it. I know it’s not about money cancel that female. I have moved on please the ones that are next up don’t cross me. I’m not throwing shade you are sexy as hell. tell me if it’s cool to fuck shaking that ass, you're the only one I see in my eyes. you better stay on top of me and I like the way you get money. I haven’t slept with anyone in 23 years feel me. so I know the ones that were close to me left. I will remain strong for the sake of my children and if you have children by me thank you for waiting on me.

I’m so over it plan for the children that I have. this comes to mind if I never slept with anyone for 23 years. how can I have children by anyone, the last child that should be mine should be by this lady from queens who moved down south? Layla, I love you Whatever daddy has it’s yours feel me. I know Aaliyah loves me, people that think it’s good to be out there on these streets aren’t right. the old heads that y’all listen to if he’s not trying to lead you from the hell fire. if he’s 35 plus still running the streets. not me I need to be here for my children.

What’s that supposed to mean? yeah, I hear you but does that count toward what’s been going on? I don’t think So people think I’m playing about this shit. people might want to come back into my life we will see. seize the moment before this shit run away from y’all. I’m trying to follow this path that I’m on and I can’t get distracted by no means. we will see where this relationship goes. do you see me in your life, it’s so much other shit that’s on my mind right. we going threw things and I’m not coming home tonight. you want to show me fight for me that’s the bottom line.

I’m glad that I don’t have to put up with people that I use to put up with. these other females caught my eye and I’m asking myself. if they look like that and no man has come out and said that they are their baby's father it might just be me. I know that one of them is and if she brings her friends in thank you. let’s continue to move with one another in each other life. if that was me I would be saying they are my baby mother’s but there’s no one saying that. nine times out of ten it should be me. when you see me we will make love to one another.

Being here makes me the man I am today. why wouldn’t I love on you when I get the chance too? you are so perfect the way your body makes this old head want you. I want to lose control over your body. here and now I want to be your everything, we can’t let up from the place we are in. so let’s be great before someone takes our joy. you are telling me that you want me now. so what am I waiting for? do you ever think what life would be like if we were together right now?

Why wouldn’t I be on the other side of that pic? I don’t know what’s going on but I’m willing to find out. please don’t count me out of your life. you make up one-half of me and the other half of your mother. so together we have a little girl. what do you want to do? the reservoir means water. if you control the sea. you will be a mermaid and you would be the little mermaid. life has a funny way of showing its true colors and I’m all for it. can you hold my hand so we can walk together?

                                                                CHAPTER 164

Do you want to meet me in my room or do you want it right here. she said to give it to me right here. so I started undressing her and she was undressing me. when all of our clothes were off we made our way to the bedroom. you want me to go into details. I had some slow music playing to get us in the mood. Do you want this work right now meanwhile I had the bottle on ice. she is laying on my chest rolling a blunt. she smokes and drinks I only drink and I mean a little bit.

The next morning she said please don’t go to work and I said how do you expect me to take care of you. if I’m not working to make money for us. she said yeah I know then she said you want breakfast before you go and I said why not. she’s getting up with her fine-ass cooking. when it was done she brings it to the kitchen table and I’m saying thank you. as I leave to go to work I left her a stack and said do what you want to do today it’s on me. she said thanks this is how you treat your women.

You should always cover your tracks because people will bring it up to put it in your face. this feeling I have for my loved ones. let's stay safe because it’s up to us. if we want the life that I have laid out. if others want to be with others let them. why keep fighting for someone that’s no longer there? so move on and love the ones that love you back. you have to put your hands in the air and praise God because he is great and mighty. I try my best to show you that I love you.

You never made me feel the love that I made you feel. go away from me and watch how my life is going to change for the better. you should always get down on your knees and give thanks to God. you can do both on the same night. when you say, Jesus Christ. you say it for him to bring life into your life. so make the best out of what he gives you. never take him for granted. if you keep him close you will be able to accomplish whatever you put your mind to trust me.

                 

I’m working my ass off to care for you. every day I get up in the morning even if I’m rich. I still do for you think it’s all on me, you should have your shit together but I see nothing that you are doing. miss me with the bull shit. what need to happen is you pack your shit and get the hell out of here. you said you heard me but you are not moving. my mind will be at peace when you and your friends let loose. who wouldn’t love this life but your ungrateful ass needs to find someone.

You leave me no choice but to make you find another man. you had everything but that’s going to stop oh my God. I can’t wait until it’s over. y’all need to go to him or whoever faces y’all in. when important days come up you are not with me but have time for others. I’m so real about this hurry up or are you scared of leaving the person that pays all of your bills? oh, let me guess you can’t make it by yourself. so what I’m fed up with leave me everything and I hope you find a man that will put up with your bull shit.

You grow from a child into an adult. you are taught to love at a young age and this is where you learn all of your skills. I can’t rush loving you because I know that take time. how long are you going to make me wait for your love? this is like a movie in that I’m playing the player and you are innocent. the first mistake you made was telling me you love me. this shows that this man stood tall when everyone turned their backs on me.

I want to know now where you stand with me. the faith that this young man had. yeah, thinking when I came back home I would be loved. some love me the same way from when I left and I’m just thinking it might be stronger. you never know what people may do if you have to watch them. if I have to watch your every move I don’t need to be with you. you smiled when other men are mentioned. the way people look at us from the outside looking inside. this doesn’t change much on the other hand I just have to see.

I remember when the old Harlem was getting money. you couldn't stop us yeah people got killed but it was all part of the game. my uncle was one of the people that lost their life, and this is why I'm the way I am today, I can't forget it. we from Harlem uptown baby we make boss when I was in the south they showed this young man respect. how many people can say they did their thing in the south if ninjas run their mouths right in it just like everyone else? people telling me to fall back but I can't because this is me thinking about if my uncle was here.

If ninjas want to get down and dirty. I just hope the dot that I have contains rain. so yeah it might fall and if it does it will fall for eternal life. people don't want to put the guns down, I know I have to move carefully if I want to last in this game. there are cameras everywhere on these streets. so why would people do crimes and can't get away with it? make sure when you hustle you watch your back because the jack boys are out. I let one loose to show I'm not that person to play with because this is the old Harlem.

                                                               CHAPTER 165

Of course, females cheat you always talk about what I did but never say what you did to me. I know he was up in you giving you that good good. you know money can't cheat on you and I'm not talking about a person. it does not talk back to you. it just helps you get whatever you want out of life. the problem females think cause you get the money she's entitled to get some of your money but guess what. you can't have shit from me if you want to go out and hang out it's okay because when this comes together remember you weren't in the lab with me.

She wants everything that I own. I remember the conversation we had. you told me you are putting a freeze on my account and you are leaving all the girls that are in my life account open. this is why y'all have all access to everything that's mined. I do not mind you having all of this but you have to stay here because if you leave everything will be taken from you. so you better choose carefully and never let another man get in your head. I'm not going to say this anymore what will I be doing if she was here working harder than ever?

You can't count a man out because he lost everything. I was willing to fight for you. and losing you wasn't on my mind. so I knew when I saw you I will be okay. if there's something you want to do and be without me. I wish you the best because I need a woman that's here and now. so why waste time with something different. when we can be together and show one another the love that each other needs? yes, I'm picking myself back up with your love and seeing you over and over again. thanks for giving me the support that I needed.

For you to grow you have to work yourself to the max. you can't let up keep pushing. you are doing just fine so plan more moves out here. you worked hard for everything you earn because you are disciplined, and you have worked with a lot of people and you will work with more people. so don't give up continue to keep your mind strong even when it hurt. the pain at the end of your journey. you will be one of the best that ever did it. you bleed the writing inside of your soul and Aaliyah makes sure I'm alright.

If I'm doing anything wrong. my fault baby, I'm trying to be here but it seems like you like to be around other men. the women I need want to be with one man. this is why I will never put y'all in the place of my soul mate because she only played this son. she knew that we had something to do from the time we had that conversation. that CEO was a marking plan by yours truly. so don't get mad because she plays the game that I showed her. by the pictures you know she had a child by me right?

Putting all of your time into writing will help your craft. this is why I'm staying on my job because I want more for myself. I can't be in these streets because I'm trying to build a black Wall Street. yeah, it takes time for all of this to happen but it's coming together perfectly. dedication is all I need and if other people want to be down with this. you have to have a loyal mentality. you have to be willing to put the work in even if it doesn't click right away. all I ask is for you to do your best out there.

She wants me to finish tonight and what she wants she gets. I do this so you will have an understanding of where my mind is at. you don't have to worry but the only thing I'm saying is you shouldn't have any male friends unless it's family members. I don't have any female friends cause I know you may lie down with her or him. so we can't let that happen, the first time we connect felt so good. I remember walking down the block with you and her mother came down the block to see if she will see us.

You are on some bull shit because even dough I know that you cheated. by all means. moving on I have to accept it and get with someone that wants to see me win. I feel that there's no love in how can I make this work. I'm doing my job and you couldn't see it. I want to see you again but you are in heaven. if I had one wish it will be you falling from the sky right into my soul. oh, my fault that's what you did, and now that I have you. I will not let you go do you want love tonight? you did what you did to get on my good side right?

So how did y'all feel with my soul playing inside of your soul? meaning the dot that I have moving from one place to the next place. whoever felt that I know you felt so good. the slashes are still going down your temple, right? how does that feel I can't feel it because I got slashed in the temple in seven seconds. I died and came back from heaven because I wasn't ready to leave you. I had so many females that I wanted to sleep with and that's exactly what I did. my body all over your body is what I'm waiting on.

I remember starting this writing company book. who would've known that it would turn around and come back to me? from the first time I picked up the pen and wrote 850 verses and completed this again? I'm not stopping here so let's continue to write more. sharing your mind because you give me the strength to write to you. all I want be you I want to hold you in my arms. this is for you I hope our family is doing what y'all are supposed to be doing. you shouldn't let me down because I didn't let you down treetop.

                                                             CHAPTER 166

The secret to a man's heart is a woman that knows what she wants. we can't be playing this game back and forth because it can get old. so I need you right now to be with me. leaving this earth knowing that when we sleep we will have eternal life and the light will continue to move inside of us. I want to tell you more how about telling you I love the way you smile and smell and look? you brighten up my day when I have the chance to see you.

Baby just show me the way point me in the right direction and I will follow you whatever you want me to do. you sit here and give me ideas and show me that you know how I am feeling. when I'm mad or when I'm happy, I try not to hide my feelings because holding emotions in can hurt a man. the thought of one day making love to you stay on my mind when I get up I think of you and when I go to sleep I also think of you.

When I think I'm at my wits you show me that you are smarter than me. you give me the information that I need and I know it's coming from you. so I'm glad that you feel like you have to protect me. the thought of losing you I can't go on without you here with me. you are my roc you keep me pressing on. if Aaliyah had to choose one woman to be in my life and take her place it will be you, believe me, she knows how much you love me.

Bringing life to you helps me see that you are committed to our relationship. in the old day nothing was done that will make you look at me differently. so when you are active you will know that I have to learn how to do everything again. it should be your first time right or am I lost? the coming together will prove how much one another will make up from that conversation we had in another body. what does this body have to say about what I have accomplished do you approve?

Why help me accomplish all of this if you are not even here? thank you for it Does this mean I can give it to another female because you called me with this information? I'm like I'm so tired of people asking me for things and never giving back, another woman will accept this from me. why call if it means nothing naming names after mine for what. if it's a thank you you want to give me your welcome adhere. I just want you and your mother to go on because it's getting me mad and if this is not my fault because it seems to be the other way.

Trying to find answers that people seem to not want to answer. sometimes you have to part yourself from other people because you will never find out what it is you want to know. sharing this life of mine with the woman of my dreams she is in my soul. one minute I think it can't go left but it does. so what's a man to do? I'm glad I could've helped you but what does the man that did for you get nothing right. stand up for me and hold it down, things that were done were just to keep the kid coming back.

Friends should always have friends back because you never know how things may turn out. from the first day I came back home, you showed me, love, even when people talked bad about me and were calling me names. people's feelings started to change when the spot got opened up, all of them were coming to cop am I wrong no. why we were building they were going down. I'm not saying it's a good thing but when I came home. I just wanted to relax but I couldn't because people had something to say. so I got on my grind and you were right there.

Things are starting to irritate me because of the conversation about taking care of but I have no idea why. when it's obvious it's others. you shouldn't take advantage of someone because you feel like it's benefiting you. that's just not right because people do things out of the kindness of their hearts. looking back if I could've taken what I have done for y'all back. I would because I could've done something different from that. this is the story of my life people come inside my life for what I can do for them.

Getting calls late at night trying to tell me something and I'm trying to understand what's going on. you put so much pressure on me, you telling me you going have to take care of both of them. meaning you want me in their life but come on I do not understand this. I hope this isn't something you are using so I can help you. if you have a brother then just say that because beating around the bush isn't getting you anywhere. I need to know the truth before I exit and just move on because it's like that's what she did.

So she's naming her child blank. I know her mother's name starts with a blank but the way it seems like she's naming her that because my little sister names her child with a blank. trying to find the strength to believe her because the calls I receive tell a story. this is how she talks to me. using someone that wants to see you win. having her back when the chips were going down and now I'm thinking she's returning the favor but who knows? what's the connection I'm tired of asking the question about where you stand with me.

                                                                        CHAPTER 167

You have to think you are not using your brain this is what they want us to do. I just want to raise kings and queens. you think they give a blank about us. you have to understand money isn't the way to go but when you work hard it will come to you. as black people when are we going to come together because we are non using our power for good? why must it be so much confrontation between us? all we want to do is have a good time but times are getting hard. we need to uplift ourselves, you have to stand for something or you will fall for anything. 

I will say that I remember when I first told my mother that I wrote a book. every time I came to your house the first thing that she said when am I going to let her read it. I knew you were telling her that you wanted to read the book. when I printed it out and gave it to her after a week mother called me and said this is a good book then she said you wanted to read it. then she gave me your number for the first time and she said don't call you yet but I texted you and asked you did you want to read my book and you said yes.

The time when you know because you have a feeling that something just doesn't sit right with you. you are a cheater or you are getting cheated on. you are a player or you get played on. you have sex with a lot of females or you are faithful. if a girl has a lot of male partners would you sleep with her no not me? I can't see myself running behind another man. like going downtown. Another man left his business there before just don't sit right with me or you kiss her and she went downtown on another man and ended it the way a man wants.

Girl you know there's nothing I won't do for you. I want to put that ring on your finger but all good things come in time. finding myself again now I can look you right in your eyes and tell you how much I love you. I never want to see you cry or get upset because this man your man is trying his best. I worship the ground you walk on be patient with me. people said I'm a little 730 but I might be but I'm 730 for your love. climbing the highest mountain is what I did to find his mind. so I can be the man that you need.

If you are cheating I don't want to know with who. females can hide what they do but men seem to always get caught. you shouldn't hide anything from your partner. the way God designed us a man should be faithful to his woman and a woman should be faithful to her man. women creep a lot they think as men we do not see it or know it. you think I'm blind but I see everything that goes on. this is for all of the women that love their men. yeah, I did things in the past but I have learned from my mistakes.

When I came into your life. you had things going for yourself. you did things like making sure I saw your every move when you were outside. I was watching you grow into this young woman. there was a lot of eye contact we had. I was seeing you watching me meanwhile I was watching you to see if this could be when things got hard wasn't I there for you? I tried to take care of all of the things that you needed right? so you wouldn't have to be in the streets. from the time I wake up until I go to sleep you let me listen to that song, you thinking about me.

When you first came to see me. you asked me to walk with you to the store. one thing why were you walking that fast I couldn't keep up with you. didn't I tell you I'm going to prove why you stayed here with me? the other time we talked I told you about the movie that I wrote and was called inside card. I should've said it happened on the fourth floor and not the third floor. anyway, I should've been more pacific but I wanted you to guess what I meant. I remember playing 711 and you said you're caught.

I know money doesn't buy happiness. I'm working on loving you. I'm reaching out to all of the mothers in my life and if you don't have kids by me. I will repeat I will be unleashing everything I got inside of you. people may ask me why am I talking like this because there are slow songs I'm writing and this is for the grown and sexy. I miss you Layla your mother is playing a game with me. meeting dates but the allusion to what she says can or can't help what is going on in our life right. so let me know do I have to make a decision.

Yeah, I get it people talking about how much weight they move. come on why rap about it you not getting it. now you see that shit coming in. the Mexicans want me to chill and get money with them. we made a killing for a long time, every since Latin gave them the gateway to the sea bringing that weight in. I have been doing this since fat joe said who shot ya? just sitting here thinking about what foxy brown said aids can happen that's why I'm sticking to the females I know the ones that have been there for me since day one. 

Sitting back watching or should I say observing. the observation of a matter can detect who's telling the truth and who's not. putting yourself first in life you should always put God first right along with your family having children is the most beautiful thing in the world. please don't take your family for grand it grand God may take them from you. the only thing you have in this world is family. some people don't even know why they kill people. this is just crazy people's death should be living right. tears dropping from you and you should be listening to what I have to say.

                                                            CHAPTER 168

When I first came to your house to see you. I asked you do you want to go to the store and you said I can order what I want to eat. I was saying two things in one and that was one but the other thing was telling me a story about you. so I can write stories about you. that's exactly what you did that's why I have this much information about you. is it a problem using this information? you know when you went to black justice I wanted to see you. if I shall go to black justice I hope you will come to see me and I'm not speaking it into existence.

I also remember you giving me a towel to put around my clothes and you said that was your towel. question no you answer it in your mind because it can get tents with what I'm about to say. you were trying to tell me you were here for me but do you hear me when I say you are the only one I need in this world? traveling your mind is a mother please tell me your thoughts don't I listen to what mother has to say? this shit can go either way I'm trying to find the balance in all of this madness please forgive me.

Being young and not knowing what I want can change a man's mind. showing you the best things in life is all I want to do for you. what if you want to walk out on me? who do I turn to in life? this thing that we're in can feel good and also feel bad. it depends on how you treat one another in y'all life. the back and forth do you have any idea about the way I feel about you? I know there are other men out there and I'm trying to find out what made you stay with me. I never raised my voice at you, we never had one fight. we always had good communication. 

Work sure is hard but I do this for us okay? I want to provide for us. I get a thrill out of taking care of y'all. I put my life up for you so please take care of me too. the love I have for us will never fade feel me. this is like when you get married or have a child. we can do both, for now, you are doing your part, so in the future, I will do my part. I want to touch you all over your body because you are so beautiful to me. you keep this man working on his writing. how do you feel about what I say to you?

I think men have to figure out the secret to loving women. what she likes to do how she likes to do it. what are some of her favorite things to eat? you have to know some of the places she likes to go. what is her favorite color? does she like to go to the movies and take long walks in the park? if a man knew all of this stuff it will give us some insight into her life. these are some of the questions you have to ask her because, in the long run, they will help you understand her. if she has children with you, you should know these things. 

When I was coming to your house to get my hair done at 2 Pm. you soon changed it to noon my guess so I can see you in the afternoon. I was fine with that because I wanted to see you as soon as possible. I remembered when you were at your program and I was supposed to get my hair done. you called and told mother tell me don't leave because you were on your way and I said okay. when you came inside the house. when you came in and you sit down and I got between your legs. you climb on the sofa opening the blinds to get some light inside of the house.

The calls that I was receiving when I was there for you daily. the only thing I wanted was for you not to be in these streets. as I look at what I did for you. I see you took my advice and I'm so happy about that. when you seek the knowledge you will find it and you told mother to tell me light and that's how I remembered that you can't make bad choices now because you are a grown, woman. so there shouldn't be any excuses from you. stand up and fight for what you desire feel me. you only get one life so live it to the fullest.

I had a lot of females in my life, right? I slept with a lot of females when I was under 12 years old. anything up from that dame, is not my fault but there's one that I still want and I hope she hears me. Jan sported a bookbag at a block party the block party was from 150 to 155 in Edgecombe, and after that, she was coming to see me and she always made me laugh. we had a little rendezvous and from my understanding. she had a baby right when I came home one of my friends came to the block and called her and she said she was with her boyfriend. 

This here makes females fall for me. is it because I do my job with my family and other females see that and want in. who am I not to let them in here with this family we have? when I walk in the door you know what time it is she gets undressed? is that the only thing you know how to cook? you have to prove you can cook more by fixing a full meal. I mean soul food can you get down like that and if so show me one day. you keep saying you are a bad hitch right prove that to me, you look like you are alright.

I'm just writing things that went on in my life. I have to express everything that comes to my mind because I do not want to hold anything in. the only thing I know is I'm here to uplift you not bring you down. I have to figure this out before things get too deep or am I in too deep but I'm cool. straight here for you and the way this life is going to begin. I have to keep moving on you. I like to release my thoughts because my thoughts run 100 miles per hour and they can get intent. the passion I have for this music is outstanding trust me.

                                                                CHAPTER 169

So I'm where I wanted to be. did you listen to this album I heard it but don't remember all of the songs to this piece of work. this is a clue for you am I Noah because you say things about me and I thank you for the name If I had to ride the 7seas it sure was fun for me. I'm in the eighth inning so if you want to stay in this game. you better play your part because if you do not someone will take your place and I'm talking about who. you should always claim your spot in my life because you mean so much to me.

Digging deep in the midst of all of the shit people put me through. I remain a real one but I guess people don't like that right. a lot of people getting out of hand but who am I to talk about it? I know you hear me. uncle, I'm cool trying to stay sucker free because people will hate you and don't even know your story. my story has ups and downs just like anyone. what I have learned sometimes you have to lose everything to gain it back. so bear with me as a climb my way to the top and stand my ground.

I love making you proud of me. baby, I want you to understand me. if it was all about the money think about what you helped me out with. if that’s so I will remember what you did for me. so don’t get upset if I move on because what you won’t do another woman is willing to do. so make sure you stay on your grind before you get replaced. I have options in this large world for every man there are five women to accommodate me. please don’t get lost in what I do because it can stop.

You try to throw signs that you are not a cheater when two females get the idea and they send this other female to find out what you are doing. she saw nothing because I was doing nothing wrong but you couldn't handle me telling you that I'm faithful to you. I had a dream last night about that in a sexual form but I know nothing will ever happen. you find out who had your back when times were hard but you don't mind the girls that got away from you. you have a group of females that love you to the core feel me.

What should a young man write about next? when this money comes in I'm not going to be greedy. if I eat everyone eats you have to understand you do things with that person and now he's on some other shit how does that make you feel. I was on youtube and came across someone saying. the reason for the breakup was that you said he was chilling with that person and now you messing with him. this ain't about sticking together this is more like who's hot gets money. people from junk town beef every day with one another.

You shouldn't dwell in the past. you should be here making money moves with me. before you check me you should check yourself. this has been going on for years when are you going to give up? you can't hang out all the time so respect me. if things get out of hand I'm thinking twice about saying that I'm going to leave because you can go out. the only thing I say is respecting me as I respect you. damn, I want to undress your sexy ass. you always turn my feelings up because the thought of losing you can't happen.

Finding the woman of your dreams how can it be? you know you always telling me what to do. this feels so right to me. I plan on making you my wife there isn't anything you are hiding from me because I tell you everything that you need to know. I want to make it last the way you look at me. can't be replaced at all. so get on this boat but make sure you and I are riding together and there aren't any men riding somewhere I'm supposed to be. the last thing I want to do is break up so hold onto me for dear life.

The game is so tight they call it a virgin. you mess around and you will have everything that I own. so you better get with the program I remember when you text me and asked for you know what. I get what you were saying that amount means 365 I haven't seen a dime like you before. I had you going for a minute right? the respect you have for me is amazing. I never had doubts about you being in my life but something just has to sit right. this is worrying me can you correct it before things get hot? Are you looking for the dog oh he's out of town cross me?

You'll see when the war is on please don't get too close because it can get out of hand. you show all of the paper that you got. I know people want to leave me left but it can't happen because this soul will go inside of your body and pull everyone slash. I know you can't stand to see me but wait until this paper come in. fuck that I'm waiting into the future before I spend any of my money. I will sit back and let my young people eat. finding out shorty was on some bull shit but the get back is real for me.

Wishing you were right here next time for me. so I can tell you everything that's been going on in this life. I know you are watching over me. it's hard to understand why God wanted you next to him but who am I to question him? you gave him the power to feel again and that power went inside of me. this shit doesn't get easier. so I fight hoping one day I will see you again are you walking with this young lady or do I have to start over again when I lay down and have grown up business? the one that I do that with will be her or are you here?

                                                                CHAPTER 170

Daydreaming about you. the last thing I remember doing hurt me. I wish I could go back in time but I can't. I want to make it up to you. I remember dancing on the block with you. then that turned into us dancing at the Apollo and the name we use as children of color. it seems that people use the name we had because I was like ten years old but who knows? we did everything together we were strong you held me down all the time. I want you to know life wouldn't be the same without you in my life.

This young man belongs to a family that he can't leave even if he tried. baby, you have this hold on me. if I see things what if I change up what will you do? I never talk to any of the females that they hang out with but people sure try to talk to my ladies. what if I put my mind on girls that are out there and get next to them? how will you feel if that happens? I think I'm making up my mind to hang out. do you want that before you say anything let me know if it's right because if it was me? you would have an attitude with me.

Yeah if I had one wish it will be getting down on one knee and asking you to be my wife. the only thing you have to do is start up and say what you mean. I remember you getting down on one knee and telling me. you know what you said. tomorrow is the day I asked you to be my wife. every time we have a fight I let you get the last word. l's is cool but now I'm fighting for your love. I hope you hear me because I can't go on without you in my life. I think I made the right choice choosing you am I right?

You got me thinking this way. if I am in your head it doesn't mean I'm brainwashing you. it's called getting in touch with your inner self and bringing the best out of this relationship. can I be honest with you? you stay on my mind all day. I can't get enough of you. when I see you I get the hawk not butterflies in my belly. speaking about this has me emotional because you are giving life and if it's not mine I have to deal with it. what you want to do because you can't have me thinking bad thoughts because you have good thoughts.

You saw something in me that I didn’t see and I know what it is you saw in me. this is what happens when you do everything right by your family. please tell me if I lose my cool because you always say what you do for me. what about what I do for you? I can understand you following the rules that you know. how else will you fulfill your dreams? if it’s up to me you will have everything that you want. so be patient with me because it’s coming to you. I never want to let go of you.

When you first started loving me was it? puppy love, I'm not here to buy your love but to plant seeds inside of your body. I see you accepted my seeds thank you. who do you think I was waiting for I'm glad you're grown now. you are ten times behind me if what Pusha t said is true. you are on your way to nine months if I'm wrong by all means excuse me for thinking differently. I will be on my way to find another girl. if I say something to you take heat to it. I think I had a hand in raising you.

So people talking about the company that is owned by you and me. people will try to bring down our company but we can't let that happen. I will continue to write because this is the way I feel. we are up for this because first. they said they had nothing on us. why people talk too much but we can take criticism from people. we plan on keeping our business running the way it's running. why do people have something to say after all of these years? we never said one thing about you. so stop sweating what's not there anymore.

Closing my life to the one that has things going on with other people. I have to be the man that my mother made me but how can I be that man? when I have questions about you, I know the timeline is correct. so you say I have nothing to worry about is that right? I want to coast and change my atmosphere maybe I need to go out of space because finding love on this earth is so hard. females want their cake and eat it too. I had it up to here with the bull shit. so I mine as well move on before I get hurt. 

So she thinks she's going to have the last laugh but she ain't. I will figure you out one way or another. so you better cover up what needs to be a cover-up. you can't hide this from me. why do you need so much from me? I give you everything you ask me for and this has been going on for a long time. matter a fact ever since I came home. I think I only miss one Birthday and even then. I came to your house and I wasn't scared and handed you what you asked for. I know it's the thought that count. I want to watch you walk away from me.

7 play 1 you always can find out what a woman is thinking before she says it out of her mouth. 2 I want a woman that does not cheat on her man. 3 I want one that has a business or more because we can build together. 4 she has to want sex most of the time I can't be running in her all of the time because it can get old. 5 once in a while that will keep me wanting more from her. 6 one that wants to be my queen and let me be her king. we can't be fighting all of the time. 7 it had to have the connection but it's okay.

                                                                CHAPTER 171

Wake what's up what are you up to? I plan on seeing you before you know what. so stop playing with me before I start yelling at the top of my lungs. you still watching your little sister it can get gray and the rain might start falling. you know a person ran up to me then I left and soon as I got home the rain started falling. people didn't believe in me they were looking at me like how when they had it. in the back of my mind family-like wake got to eat and who was going to stop me from feeding her?

You can blossom into a great person if you want to. but you can also be the worst person on this earth. you have to decide which one you are. taking your time is always a plus because you need to have an idea about where you want to be in the future. Do great minds think alike you ever heard the saying. a lot of people have great things to say about you. thank you for believing in me. that means so much to a person that started with nothing and accomplishes this much. you can't stress out about things you can't control.

When you set your mind on what you want when you get money girls will come from all over the place trying to get with you. I got this question if I had nothing would you still want me? better yet spend all of the money get fly and I'm here to make sure you have food on the table. I'm here to make sure your rent is paid and you have nice clothes and cars. how many it's up to you, this ain't tricking this is called taking care of my queens. so make sure you get with someone that wants to see you win as I do.

When I leave early from off of the block that means my phone is dead, and thoughts come to my mind 24/7 so I have to embrace it. I see everyone working and I'm just trying to get how much I can write. and other reasons it's taking so long but it's coming trust me. business call from the highest so bears with me. you have to put more work in I'm talking to myself because this is how you feed your family. great things come to people that wait you have to be patient for what you want.

So I'm digging into you. how far do I have to go to get your attention? how far do I have to go for you to acknowledge me? if the date means as much to me as it does to you. I remember feeling contractions when I was getting my hair done by sis. we had so much fun when we were younger. it's like since we got grown it's harder to come together but it's okay. as long as we are on the same page. I'm reading out of the book of Elijah. this is my book and everyone that's in it holds a special place in my heart.

Tell me what am I supposed to see when I look at you? I'm covered for real, my whole life waiting on you to show that you want to engage in a relationship with me. you want to throw that in my face for what. you want me to get my hopes high looking at you. I can't wait to undress you because I bet the box is great. I hope you didn't make me wait all of this time for nothing. she said you can have it when you are ready and I said okay fine with your fine ass. you are so cute baby be mine and only mine.

Helping you out first we have to start somewhere besides getting in bed. I want your mind first am I supposed to be mad? this is the only way you can get to my heart before you follow me. first, follow your heart because that will lead you to your destination and that’s with me. we have to remain the same through the good and bad. I want to show you that I’m pure and the reason is you. I want to hold you in my hands and never let you go. so we can be together forever.

This life will never be the same if you cross me. that’s on you so don’t forget what I did for you. I’m not putting it all out there for you to think that I’m on that. I just can’t believe you changed up on me. people should work just as hard as I work. if you want something just ask me and it will get taken care of. we shouldn’t have to tell one another that the other person took care of the things that we needed. I’m not going to blast you. whatever goes on in my mind, I’m writing it down.

Letting you know everything about me is getting uncomfortable for me. the reason I'm letting you know things that I usually don't tell anyone. you seem to be the one so I'm letting you know everything about me. people say things that you do like what goes around come around but I never did anything to anyone. if it was that it wouldn't be this promising for me. things look up from here I want you to know that I love you. standing there with your sexy body and cute face. I need women like you in my life.

Damn, I'm tired but work must go on, the last 18 years of my life have been here at home not messing with anyone. so with that being said, I have the option to choose who I want in my life. looking back at things that went on wasn't fair in know kind of way. you helped people out and it backfired on me. so this time I'm being careful who I help out. you have to prove yourself to me for me to lend a helping hand. it's times like this that I wish you were here with me. you were always the roc of this relationship. you know what the first one turns into you.

                                                                    CHAPTER 172

You give me excuse after excuse but I'm on to you. I have to be on my feet because people will use me for what I have. if the shoe fit wears it if not let it fly. making this family happy is all I've been doing. what about making myself happy I'm happy but it's inside of me. she's the other person now and the one that did me wrong. I hope you live your best life because I want out before I look up and you have more than and nothing is mine. should've left a long time ago but asking me to stay for what.

It seems like nothing I do is right. when you come from the bottom. you will appreciate things better. you will add value to your life. there’s only one way to go and that’s up. when you dedicate your life to her life. some men don’t want to settle down but what's the sense of running around all of your life? this life we have together will be more if we take our time. this distance relationship is hard. we haven’t been in one another life for a long time. I’m sure up to how long this will go on.

You look like something is wrong with you. know I’m just playing your smile can light a room up. when y’all are happy that is what makes me happy. just know you are okay and the fact that you are taking care of yourself. the last thing I remember is you telling me that you love me. you said if I wait for you I will not be disappointed about what life has in store for me. you came to see me when I first came home and I appreciate it. you can brighten up my day with the thought of seeing you again.

Blaming you for what it is because you got me upset because I was thinking one thing. when it’s another thing but I have to get over it. why must you ask me for things? if that’s so doing my part because this is the end of time. you wonder why I’m playing this way. you have a whole man with you. if I couldn’t take care of my business. how do you feel asking another man for things that you need? does that make that person less of a man or am I a fool? when it’s over it's over.

Sometimes you have to separate the two from one. I don't know how I'm going to do that. putting up these numbers of people reading my writing. this is the best feeling a man can have other than his family. putting this together was hard but I stuck with it and our company is doing fine out of every feeling in the world supporting my family is by far the best feeling. creating words so my family can have that understanding of what I'm thinking about. I'm climbing higher and higher until I can't climb anymore.

When we connect and I hold you down for the rest of our life. I know you like riding thru your city top drop-down letting the wind blow threw your hair. I don't mind you going out but make sure you do something that I will approve of. let's keep our love on this level so we know what the other one is doing. please don't hide anything from me. if you want to walk out yes it's hard but I will try my best to get over you. you play for what team do I want to know are you for me or someone else?

Like I told myself don't put all of your eggs in one basket again. a cheater will cheat not once but I have changed. it ain't that I cheated I was let to be outside because the cage and the kettle had to be taken care of. this dog only messes with dogs that do only gangster shit. coming up you watch the drug dealers but at that time I was in it with them. who do you think had the 12 running streets crazy? they called my uncle CO not because of what you would think but because the setup was real and you had to get it the real way.

Ninjas knew how I got down because if you came across me, you were in for it. I use to be in these streets getting down whenever and wherever. ninjas tried to get rid of me but it was in God's hands and you ask me why I don't give a fuck. I remember having a black girl pit bull. she was a beast for real. my friends and I had a house where all of our pits were at. I remember going to one of my friend's houses. leaving their pit and it chases me out the door. Luckily the elevator was there or I would've got bit and this was a big pit.

Most of y'all can only make a hot verse and can't make a hot song blood red. yeah, I always carry that thing on me because I never know when it's my time to go. I want to look my killer in his eyes, the dot will enter his soul and slash the world. if you don't know ask my family if it's true. please don't be surprised about what answer they give you. it's probably something that you don't want to hear. yeah, there were nights I cried myself to sleep praying to get back home to my family because being on the run took a toll on me.

Putting so much in one person's hands hoping he can deliver. you never stop to think how hard it would be. you never thought that I could've died. you never thought that I could've got locked up. you never thought that I would go broke. I am glad you allowed me to understand you and the way you work. if it wasn't for you there would've been know me. having you leading me and this path was great and now I'm not saying it's going to stop here. people that read my stories keep reading them thank you.

                                                                CHAPTER 173

If four is the key then so be it. I want this person to remember what was done for her. it will never be done again because you can't ever find a person to trick. I didn't do it for that so get off of that. what more can I say about the fact that it went left I have to keep my right guard up before someone else come to you. why should I be mad when I learned so much that's never to trust a female that's looking for money. I hope y'all ain't after that because I can show you how to get to a dollar.

Trying to find what I did wrong nothing is what my mind keeps telling me. you live and you learn from what is good and bad. the family will turn against you even if you are in the right. if you hear me it's okay things do change. you can't keep helping people that only want help and never gave you anything. that's like a relationship with a female that only wants money. you find yourself taking care of her all of your life. you should be on the side that was there for you. you're right do you have to make it seem like you don't mess with me or do you just don't?

What I will tell you is to get money because people will talk about you whether you are doing good or bad. yo get that out of your head and continue to do you. who to tell how long this company will be running but for now get your paper up. put all of the bull shit aside and keep your mind in this book because this is where your mind feels relaxed. so press on is what Aaliyah said to me holla back showtime they were. meanwhile, people go to jail for a long time. this shit doesn't bother them as it bothers me.

If you put all of this shit together you will get this. first one of my shorty get triple five up but before that people from you know where said they were hustling with you know who. not one, not two, not three but four gone. others got picked off by people that we are not supposed to be messing with. the same people they talk about had something to do with people that got picked off the hill. excuse me for being the only one that remembers or are people just that blind to see or say it?

Why do people keep going on interviews talking about things that happened back in the day? we are not worried about what y'all are doing. if you wanted to make the music business how you want it to be then get into it. you said you have grown from that but keep talking about it. you stay saying someone talking to the fed what are you in applying. you dry snitching right people need to get this shit right. if you got it like that then open up and do you. if you can make money from it. why not because you can't get fully in the game.

You thought the dog was a friend oh no. Layla, how are you doing? I haven't talked to you in a minute. I hear you every second of the day telling me to keep pressing on. I need women that don't think men are all the same because they had a couple of bad relationships. this man is a grown man and loves females that help him accomplish his goal. the fight does not stop you have to give your all. the only thing I keep thinking about is how people forget so easily and y'all claim to be gangsters. back then now it doesn't matter if things happened.

People talk about it but wasn't around it. if you know firsthand what happened. you would look at things differently, things just don't go away and everybody that wants the best for me thank you. I'm taking on this head-on with no questions asked because I love my family. it doesn't take a man to do things you have to have God in your corner for real. then you add all of your blessings up and then you will know how much he loves you. you could be a bad person and turn your life around to him and good will happen.

Second thoughts are a must cause she can have you out here looking crazy. just a little bit right but what you have written. the comparison doesn't add up to what you have now. so be grateful for what he has blessed you with alright? if it doesn't work out move on. this is what I am thinking about doing now. who's to say if I'm right or wrong but one thing for sure and two things for certain if it was all for money that's the hurt part. you have a gift right so be happy for your gift and that's you being able to write this much.

You have to follow your mind. you should show yourself that you have self-love. you have to love yourself first before you can love someone else. when the right female comes into your life you will be ready. I keep singing this song to you. when I step in the house what are you doing because you help me build this company? so if I find someone else she will have all of this. when you perform you better kill the stage because I believe in you because you are talented. I know you can do it because you are my girl.

Possibility fate shouldn't be measured. you have people in the music business. that writing song about you because your life is popping right now. the biggest hits come from people talking about your life. you always have to be humble out here. that's the only way you will continue to get your blessings before you let anyone get to you. you have to understand you can't let people get under your skin because that's one rule. you can lose if that happens okay? I'm just informing you before you get upset.

                                                              CHAPTER 174

Whatever you put your mind to you will receive. I want to know if you want to talk to me. before someone runs up on you and takes my place. I like writing a love letter to you. when you read it does it turn you on? I'm locked in and know it doesn't stop here. I will continue to think of ideas to write down. so you can feel what I'm saying. all I know is if I never I will go to her and she will be there with open arms but if one day it happens let it be. the dot if I should die. it's all in the family. so you will understand never mind.

Who knows more than you about how to love? you have the right sex appeal for me. you look just like something out of a magazine. building wealth with my family. one hand wash the other and now that we know that. who would want to leave this special place have to be sane because where will you find love like this? I'm just saying coming closer to being older and older together. who needs space when you and I want to spend so much time together? who knows what can come from this? are you ready I am surely ready.

When you feel like talking to me. you will so I guess I will be waiting until that day comes. you put your best fit on so I can see you. you know you hold the endless heart that I have. show me that you are worth me picking you. it’s all or nothing so let’s make it work because I have changed. you bring the best out of me before you know we are raising a family. the only thing that holds me back is you but I’m here until you are ready. you spread positivity in my life and I’m grateful for you.

You're still on three-way right? I'm glad you are making sure I come home at a reasonable time. you always keep me on point. who can tell this is what loving y'all feels like? the motion you go in when you are inside of her. you ought to rub her feet because she has been up all day. you do wonders with me. I have one question how do you know what I like because you always tell me what I want to hear? I'm gossiping about you all of the time. when I talk about you I emphasized it. so people would know how much I love you.

So you made mother make a phone call to me. saying last of a dying breed right? I wanted to know if are you eating out-of-ordinary food because you know why. I shouldn't have to explain it. if so I wanted to know if you eat pickles and ice cream. if so you are nasty like biggie smalls said. am I turning around holding my daughter? if so get the strap come closer to me and let me whisper something in your ear. my bad you did that already right? let's stay on this track because I'm at my best when you guide me.

This goes out to all of the UBN. when are we going to come together? sets fighting sets that aren't what we are supposed to stand for. back in the days' rules were applied to all of us and nowadays there are no rules. people know their codes but we all speak the same codes. it might be different lingo but it's all the same. what hood are you from what does it matter? when this blood shit started it was for a cause and now anybody banging and don't know what they are banging for. this shit doesn't make any sense at all.

Seeing is believing things with your eyes. whoever takes heat to what I am saying be motivated with your talent. God gave us this gift and we should use it well. you can't hide the truth from me. I know you have feelings for me and I have feelings for you. what would I do without you by my side? I have to stay above water sometimes it snow and it gets hot. the rain is something that I control. by the way let's see how long it will take you to come to me. yes, I want to see her because it's been a while since I've seen her.

Another move by the big homie. add another one to our portfolio. adding all of these things under our belt makes me so happy. accepting great deals that make us level-headed. if you weren't with me when I had my back to the wall. I have friendships with people that want to see me win. this is just one of many more businesses that we are running. picking up the speed on our business. when he said bow in dead presidents he was talking about bow wearing a shirt with my company name on it.

People looking at what we did as a unit and want to come for us. what deals got to do with how we take care of our business. if we had nothing to do with it. the money wasn't put into our pockets. if it has to come to a head be strong and tell the truth okay? we don't need any mistakes. this isn't a case involving another person doing something to us other than business. the way we move comes from learning the game at an early age. where did we go wrong this is a quote from bleek and the answer is nowhere.

Everything happens for a reason. you put your game down and hope someone sees what you are doing. so they can invest in you but it's the other way. so handle yours you feel me. you know the in and out of this thing we call hustling. I know people can't wait until faith is on our side. if we ever cross anyone we would have been hit with karma. it's always two ways and two sides to a story. you only get money right here and keep it with your family. you fell a lot of time but you got back up and forth. 

                                                                    CHAPTER 175

So 45 wants to call me and tell me about bushes like she giving up the cake. I can't believe her ass wants to take shots at me. Do you think you look good you ever given head doing 220 on the dash? you trying to be funny I hope you understand this shit. all day you want to show how you look okay you alright ain't shit to get stressed out about. all I know is these children ain't mine. I'm waving my hand is that your hair because you showing it as if that is yours. you can keep the cake that you bake damn time against you.

If I show this lady that she's worth more than anything to me. she will think twice before doing anything that can hurt this relationship and that's how I want her to think. when another man tries to talk to her. she will have me on her mind and all that she will lose. as a man, I have to stay on my job because if I lack another man will do and I can't have that. if I shower her with gifts and take care of her people say that's tricking but if you have a girlfriend. you want her to feel like you can handle whatever she may need.

The glow-up is real because when you have a man that wants to see you do better. if you roc with me I will roc with you too, yes I see you and I appreciate you from my heart. are you the same person I fell in love with. is it something on your mind because you seem like there’s something that you want to tell me? I will try my best to make sure that you see whatever it is that you want to see. should I get my hopes high for this blood drop? how am I supposed to take this information? should I be ready if so I am?

Just because I don’t want you in the streets. this is me just leading you in the right direction. you need to stay in touch with what you are doing and don’t change anything up. you ought to want more for yourself when you bring a child into this world. you have to take good care of him. why not listen to what I have to say, this is like a long-time relationship because I have been here for 13 years. There are some of my thoughts be a wonderful mother to your child. growing up is a part of life never forget that.

Finding the main thing in a female mind, yes it’s so hard giving back to her because she has this thing called bringing life into this world. when you settle down I hope it is with me. I have learned so much from you on a faithful level. my heart can get hurt this is why I’m covering you. I’m thinking about moving into a house with all of y’all there. I know I will have so much fun that’s all that’s on my mind. if I fall off will you be there to pick me back up?

Pushing things that mean nothing to you will have you in a maze. you have to get your ideas together before I notice you. I need women that have some kind of idea of where they want to be in the future. I want you to give me a kiss and a hug because I'm big on that. the little things mean a lot to a street man don't let that hard shit get to you. any man will like the woman that cooks for her man and who rubs his back because there's a lot of 801 going on in his life. so be that woman and your man will love you.

I think about you all the time but what if you go another way? this thing that loves means holds a scary place because you can leave when you feel like it. you told me that you want to build a life together and this is what we have done. whether it is business we did both things. if this comes to an end hurt ain't the word that I will feel because my heart is soft for you. anything you need I'm trying to give you. you see how hard and long I have been working. that should mean something and if it doesn't forget you.

There are things that we have to work on yes I know. working on them things together is better than apart right? putting our knowledge in one space is better and awesome right? so let's do it so we can get the money together. there's so much for us to accomplish out there in the world. being a better person comes from having a strong foundation meaning ladies. people might not know but your women and children make you a better man. this is what we as men have to understand or we will not get far in life.

I wonder why you have four in the middle of your name. what's the connection to that? lets me tell you what four-leaf clover and for Aaliyah's four-page letter. the connection is real so we have to a by by it. you are up and running you kept your word this time but what better time than right now? you know the saying better late than never right? spacing my thoughts while I'm getting connected to you and what it is you want. would like does that sound better because I want to talk properly.

Just to pass the time I want to go out and chill for a minute but now. I will be inside writing this is the future of music feel me. I'm thankful for all of the people that read my stories. this shit isn't easy but I like to express myself like that. the grind doesn't stop like X said you ain't never rich but being wealthy is. you have to a meant I'm a different breed. a lot of people said in their raps that you are the only one for me. I can't stop now because my family depends on me to take care of this corporation that we have.

                                                                 CHAPTER 176

Putting your feelings aside and doing because it's the right thing to do. isn't always the right way to go about something. you have to want to do for her. you do things out of the kindest of your heart. where do you go from here how about you keep working on what you want? being the head of the household means you have to show your ladies and children. the right way to live before things fall apart. you know I can't have that right. traveling to the evil that may be only to come back to Jesus who I am.

You have to control the way you are feeling because you are the women that give birth. you bring life into this world, you are right clubs aren't for us and I'm not saying you can't go out to drink at a lounge. this isn't black justice but if you were doing it all of the time. it will become a problem for the both of us and you might lose me because I need women. that want a house relationship who will lose out me or you. if we break up. are you lying to me and want to go out and hang in the streets with your girlfriends?

There's nothing wrong with wanting more out of this relationship because the way I see it you deserve it from me to you. we have to keep this home happy because we will lose so much if we don't keep it happy. being sad thinking about what if this life we have goes without you in my life. the bottom line keeps yourself clean, letting others cum inside you. you don't know what other people have or what they had. if you want to leave and move on to someone else do me a favor and ask that person to take the test.

Thou Shall is passed by your truly. I can't get the fact out of my mind. that you are willing to give me this family I'm so happy. you turn those bad nights into good nights just being with you. what more can a young man ask for when I have the lady that I want? I'm working all day putting this here for our children. so in the future, they do not have to worry about money. this company is here for them. so one day they will run it. when it all comes down to it you are my world. I'm thinking this can be so much more.

What about me walking down the block and seeing you? you want to know what was on my mind. it was what were you doing. this reminds me of something that I had asked you in your other body. when I came to the park I said hi Trish and you said hi Sin. what more do you need to be done? you have shown me that you are here because of the scene that we replayed. covering you is something I take great joy in. I'm trying to find that place that's connected to your heart. this means that you are all mine.

What's life without the women you gain everything with? what was the clue in the verse I just wrote? it's easy to notice but if you didn't catch it here it goes Trish. you take away the Tee and put an I that means Irish. this is why the dot I have on my hand means so much to me and the heavenly bodies understand what it means to me. I remember telling you that you need the key to go inside the spirit of the man upstairs. you don't have to believe me but if you do thank you for all of these days you have been right next to me.

Trying to hide from who you are isn't good. stand up for once and be yourself. when you connect one part to another part. the parts come together and are one for all eternity. you have to want this for yourself because if this is someone else dream. it won't work because you ought to put your destiny in your own hands. from what I have learned you only get what you put in and I'm putting the work in. trust me I work every day that I'm able to. I work hard for this and you should work hard for your dreams.

So I wrote something that goes like this. she has a tattoo on her ankle. what does that mean I'm curious to know. she's up in a lot of men's faces and that's not something that I will tolerate. I don't mean to interfere with what you are doing but why did they connect after I said what I said? it could be she's in her feelings and wants a man and not a little boy. let's see how long this is going to last because it seems like all of those girls that are out there do the same thing. I want whoever to know that I have the apple of my eye with me.

Let's turn this shit up real quick. if I'm looking for love who am I looking for is it you? take a wild guess dress to impress feel me. right now my mind is on stacking this paper, please don't get it twisted. I'm still that kid that will get down but being here with my family has cooled me down and she can cook and move the LK. I shouldn't have to go into more details right? y'all did y'all thing too so why would I go back? when it was going down everybody was messing with everybody. so please don't say it's my fault because I had my agenda.

I need a girl to show me how to settle down. you have shown me the things that I was lacking. I wanted you to know everything that went on back in the day. when you were a child. I didn't hide anything from you. I don't know how all of these numbers add up to both of y’all please I'm not forgetting about you. you are the oldest had both of y'all by my side. this is what Jesus said when he was on the cross and had his wife looking up at him. being nailed to the cross. this is why I'm so certain that y'all are my little sisters.

                                                               CHAPTER 177

Never talked to anyone, not one guy meaning dating or anything. I remember you walking from school watching over you as a big brother. who knows but it has moved to something else right or am I out of my mind? first off you complete me, I believe that I have found a woman that has allowed me to be myself. the way we live this life together will always be acceptable to me. keep doing what you are doing because you have caught my eye and my eye got caught by a woman's rear. looking over your shoulders because I have to keep you on 050. 

I don't think I ever had to run behind another man having sex with her. if Aaliyah told her friends that were on the trip with her to get on the plane that crashed. she knew that Moses met seven sisters. if they should cross me she got seven waiting for me but guess what one changed lovers. so that means the seven that she died with have a connection to me. y'all are not 100 percent. as for me cheating, I bathed in the red seas that Moses spread in half. so my body is clean and not one of the enter females has anything inside of my body.

She wanted to cater 2 me. she cooked a home-cooked meal for me. she use to do things for me. that know women have done for me in about 21 years. this is the first female to ever cook for me, which means something she made is inside of my body. doing my hair over and over again. I remember walking up the house before I got there in your mind you said ask you do she mind doing my hair every week and that's exactly what I asked her and she replied no she does not mind. there was a couple of time you said something in your mind and I answered you.

If you take my family from me. I will have nothing to look forward to. y'all are my world in the form of me. y'all are half of me, you have half of my heart. half of my mind. half of my spirit and soul and flesh. you first come from me and then goes inside your mother. then she carries you for nine months. how can I walk out when you start from cum and then change into a body. that your mother pushes out of her. so I'm here and there will be no shaking me and you said there goes your party but it's for a good reason.

You know when you put that extra time in for work. yes, your mind feels like you want to just go to sleep but you can't because work is on your mind. this thing repeats itself and I'm sure I'm strong enough to work hard. if I couldn't I wouldn't but I can. you are not supposed to say you can't. that word shouldn't be in your vocabulary. you should always demand better from yourself. if you do not you won't have the passion that's supposed to connect to your dreams. in due time you will get awards for all that you have written.

The way you find out if she’s with you. you test her and never tell her that you are testing her to see what she does. I think it’s the other way around I think she’s testing me and not telling me. I got a trick for her everything will be okay from here on. so she will know that I’m for real. it’s all in your heart if she wants you and if you want her. this isn’t made up I feel like everyone that’s here keep me sane. first off let’s keep it real you are the only one I have been caring for 13 years straight. tell me what have you learned from me.

I'm going to take a game from someone that I follow. he said it just because a man has money. women shouldn't sleep with him because there are STDs out there and HIV. yeah, you open up your legs for the man with money but just because that doesn't mean you are getting some of his money. this is why I'm not having sex with just anyone and this is just my thoughts, so don't take offense to what I am saying. this is just something that I believe in. Women should fill out a man and see if he's going to be there for the long run.

Baby, I just want to know if everything is okay. how does it feel in your new body I think this body fits you so perfectly and she looks just like you. how did you know I will be happy with the trade? she acts just like you she has a smart mind like you and she's smart and good-looking. I know you have to be the first one that I lay down with. is this true or am I bugging out? why not you hold the whole world and that's me being in your life. working on the next steps because I know you are faithful to me right?

If everything falls through you are going to be the one. I understand that you are following the rules. when I came to your house a day after blue ivy was born. fast forward one year after that you were growing a baby inside of you and she was born 4 days after blue ivy. you and her birthday are four days apart and I'm talking in older girls' terms. then jay z and Beyonce had twins in the same month as y'all. if you do the math her 7 years 11 equals the twins 7-18, right now you are due that month and aiming for what day connection.

It seems to be easy loving you because you are my queen. why do you think be and jay make sure the connection to us is valid? I'm sure that this is cogent in our case. both of y'all have to understand what you did for me. I would've been a man outside smoking and drinking and partying a lot but I'm not because of y'all thank you. if I didn't say it before I just want y'all to know the meaning of a true friendship that we have grown to have. let no one take it from us because it means so much to me.

                                                            CHAPTER 178

Tell me when I'm going through withdrawal. this is what you are supposed to do. follow me as you did going out I can't get with that but you don't know better. I see you see something you like. so tell me who's in your life because in my life is my partner. the question is whether we accept applications or not. what's your resume if entering come it has to be clean for some time because my child looks for that. I hope you like what you see when you look at me. a businesswoman is always the best feel me.

You shouldn't live by the rules that other people created because those rules aren't set for you. you grind so your children can have. I told mother I had to save this month right? it's not that I don't want to do but right now I'm not able to do it. the plan I have will show sooner than you think so don't get mad and I know we are just playing a game with one another. having I been there all of the time I have known you. so why should it change now? I'm not going anywhere as long as you are here for me too.

So by now, I'm quite sure mother has told you what I told her, and if so it can happen right. I'm still going to be there. she's telling me I have nothing to worry about right? put yourself in my place and see how it feels. I hope this is the right thing for you to do. mother saying she's naming the baby right and she says I will feel comfortable with the name right but what is feeling comfortable with a name if I'm trying to be sure that it is? this shit got me up in arms because of the different feeling I'm feeling.

Let's see the money get put up. whoever shows what they got can because they worked for it. this shit is for people that are God's body. people trying to be rich but I'm wealthy feel me and I'm still getting it. trust me I'm going to make sure my friends eat off of this plate. we can all get money but let's go back to who you are supposed to trust about the bodies that others have from people from the hill. this is why I'm up in arms and everybody's cool with it. what about the people from others saying people's names that had something to do with it?

The reason why girls get their period is that I have this dot in my hand. so to those that are here with me. for me to light a light on Jesus' body feel so good to me. an eternal light will be flashing over us for the rest of our life. when we get to heaven the light will remotely connect that's the difference between the word but who cares. yeah, I'm willing to go all out for the loves of my life. this family thing I didn't think I was ready for it but it grew on me. There are steps that I had to take so bear with me shorty.

Up in flames, this blood shit ain't for everyone. if you weren't in it when the real people had it. this is for the real people saying they touch my shorty. Aaliyah feels me before I dash I'm going to make my presence known get me. I remember when I walk to 162 you were up there with your crew and I came up there past you the brown paper bag with crack bottles in it. then I and X walked up the block. think I'm playing that's where mars connect was living feel me. I'm just saying hi baby because I haven't spoken to you in a while.

You never know how the game is going to play out. so you have to be on your p’s and q’s. you can’t miss the point that she laid out for you. when you are trying to get in touch with me make sure you hit me up. I know you told mother to call me where’s your heart at. I know you are trying to get me to come down south. I’m thinking about meeting the family but first, she has to let me know that she’s with me. only time will tell this is why I’m taking so long for that to happen. it has nothing to do with me being scared.

You do one thing one day and another thing another day. it all depends on how you are feeling because it can go either way with your feelings. putting down for the city because it’s up to us to keep the streets real. you may not think the way I think because you live a different life. you're more into us being together right I’m with that from this day forward I’m all yours. so don’t hide found out that you did stay here thank you. the more you get closer to me the more the love gets real. finding out that you feel the same way I feel is good.

How much can a young man take from you? when you know you do bull shit. yes, this is the stomping grounds of people that get money. this shit can go up and down from here on. you better be on point cause if not you can get dismissed. leading a team that's murderers. my team will never fold because when your boss leads the team the right way. money will come in because you do your best to stay away from problems. you can get busy by any means. the way shipment comes over here the only way is by death. I'm not going back to black justice.

When you are caught between right and wrong which way do you go? I'm going the right way so my children will have me in their life. anyone can get picked off but fucking with me the baby nine will go into the air and slash the person that wants beef and then rain will start to pour. this is one of the seven deadly sins. so be ready because as long as I got him watching me. who can tell me differently I'm one with the higher power. the first thing I do when I wake up. if my children are up I'm straight slashing them.

                                                             CHAPTER 179

I just got confirmation that you were three-way in me. you shouldn't be listening to my conversation because you might hear something that you do not want to hear. you were wondering if I was going to get upset no I'm not because when I asked the next day. I got the phone call saying what I asked so I'm good with you. you ought to know how I move out here in these streets right? you want me to continue to take care of you. show respect for yourself like you always have because that is what attracted me to you.

Seeing what I have seen. it has to be true that you are having another child. how am I supposed to take this? what I have seen of course. the question is being a father is it me questioning this? which way do I look this time because this is hard? I'm not saying this to say not again but more so. if it comes to it and mother asks me to help out. this will bother me because how am I supposed to know? if this is my child. sometimes I feel like just dismissing myself from this situation. if this is mine I'm the happiest man on earth but who knows?

So mother just hit me to tell me that you are having another baby. from me writing what I wrote last night and her letting me know it is true. I promise to do what I have to do for you and I will not let you down. I’m pushing the thing that I told mother understand me. so now I’m fighting for three rights and one and one and one ain’t that status. making way for us to be in good graces with the man upstairs. we have to move as one and make sure we do for one another. I know I have to step my game up.

You have to get your life together for you to move into the future. this is something that has to happen for the sake of the child that you are giving birth to. you seem to know what you are doing because if you didn’t. you wouldn’t be having more children. you should always let me know what moves you are making. from that post that you said. so you think you are a bad one. I’m sitting here wondering what name you will be naming your daughter and you are having her around your birthday never touched her.

Let's not get into what I'm willing to do. let's talk about what I have to do. some people say I'm not obligated to do for you but I am and trust me I will. you wait so long that you forget what you are waiting for. your mother said at the end you will get what you want. I just hope it comes to me clean and with respect for herself and never let anyone else inside of her. it does not seem like your sister is upset that's always a good sign in my case. preparing yeah it's hard but I'm willing to sacrifice it for you.

So the question is do you believe I'm your father because that is important to me? I have been here since you were a young girl. you use to walk up the block and walk into every building and walk outside not going inside the building. I remember when you were with your auntie. you and she crossed the street and you ran to me and then I walked you to the store and bought you something from the store. one day I saw you with your uncle and you ran to me and asked me for the first time did I have any money and I asked you how much and you said I don't know and I gave you three dollars.

Yes, I have to be in at a certain time. yes, I stay close to my family. I want to spend how much time I can spend with my family because it can all get taken away from me. so when I write about street shit I'm just going by what's going on. you have to use your brains to be in the streets. you can't use force because that will get people looking at you. you can't be buying all of them cars and jewels and buying houses and fronting with all of those females. what I don't do trust me my wives are doing and my children are good that's all that matters to me.

Creating the game in your mind. you have to play the way it’s planned out in your mind. my thoughts run as far back as I can remember and ideas are still coming to my mind. the way you show how real you are. you have to battle what stops you from being the best that you can be. the way you take to the streets and the way the streets take to you feel wonderful. if you are doing your thing out here. you put your best forward because you never know what you can accomplish.

This is the theme of this verse. if you believe that you are going to win you will. you have to have a support team behind you and that's what I am trying to be to you. I just want to support your dreams and help you with the goals you are trying to achieve in life. what more can you want from a person that tries hard to keep his or her okay? the more important thing is what are you willing to do to support your partner. you have to be right by her side at all times and she has to be right by your side.

If I had to do this all over. people wouldn't say that I ran picture that. I was their mind in my own business and people wanted to hate what I and my crew was doing. y'all had all of that fly shit and I had nothing and shorty still wanted me and not y'all. it ain't about what you have it's about what type of person you are and they knew I was a real one. this shit is just playing in my mind I'm still hustling for mine and I'm doing very well. everyone's trying to get in a game that I run feel me.

                                                               CHAPTER 180

When Mase said I should've worn three rubbers just in case one pop. he said he had 10 friends one was down south guess who he was talking about me? Stacy said she had bam er misses down south moving weight. if it's fuck me it's fuck you, if people want to know facts ask me. it's all about phone time white one from skate key. you get over it but you will never forget and I know people that were close to me have turned their back on me. I guess the loyalty is with them but so on I can't dwell over it.

If you see something you want go after it. you do not want to lose what's on your mind. when you face off with someone about things that should've been taken care of. you know the way you first said my name on the phone but before that. I came to your house and one of your friends said that's your boyfriend and you said don't play. back to you on the phone doing my hair another one of your friends said you doing your boo's hair and you said don't play again.

I'm not jinxing you but is there something you want to tell me if so tell me now because I can't wait know more. when you bring life into this world. you are supposed to take the necessary steps to provide for yourself and your children right. when we talked on the phone you said you wanted another child right? so what's taking you so long because you're not getting any younger. it will be a nice time for you to have another child with me.

So if I want to be with you. I didn't know she was talking about you and yes and yes we are together because naming his son after a name that I know. I'm in the middle of the cross and my two brothers one on one side and the other one on the other side. I know last time I said his first name but it's the last name. when I came to see y'all you were cooking. I wonder why you wanted to see me because you weren't showing but now you have a little one. I can only imagine how the father feels about having a new child.

I'm still trying to find out what you named our child. all I know is he looks like me. so that means he's finer than an MF right? them two running the streets when they get older, they will have all of the girls because their father still is a player but not a cheater. all of his females know about one another and play on players. I see you over there looking at me thinking about what about my son. you ran to the back when you saw me come out of the room. he is the same color I am so that's a plus right? if so I'm thankful for our son.

So I guess I will convert it back to you. when I sent you the rough draft of my work. you told me I will have to use characters in the stories and that's exactly what I did. every time you came to the city I move further in my studies right. I was letting you know that I'm here and yes I can handle writing these books. this company means just as much to me as to you right? so why wouldn't I put my all into it? walking to work seeing you asking you that question will you come to see me and you replied what was so special then. do you forgive me?

Problematic finding out the woman that you love cheated on you. what will you do walk out or try to fix it for me I'll walk out because cheating didn't come from me. it came from you letting me handle business for 16 years old with 4 baby mothers. yeah, when I was living in new jersey it was on grove street. you had to take the path train two stops from chamber street. just to let you know I do it ain't nothing new to me. building wealth so my children will have. y'all can keep spending up looking into the future for my children.

This blood was built through OG Tye and that is me, you can't change the way I think about some people claiming blood yeah, and still going to war for what I believe feel me got that sex money murda running streets. people say we were the first one flagging in these streets. all of this blank shit people talk about but ain't doing it. saying they will break a brick but never did it. my blank money is longer than y'all rap money and I'm talking about being a boss but still handling these streets shit. who says they did that. when they touch down it's all about blood.

I know my family is sleeping right now in New York City. I want to let them know I'm still up working to care for them. the way their man is supposed to. work doesn't stop you have to let your mind take control. this is the way you will last in this game. it doesn't mean you are doing badly but you have to take baby steps to take big steps later on in your life. you can't dance with the devil what who scared before I do I have to know son. people have a change of heart about that. I don't know how when shit hit the fan. I take that to heart.

I took care of what I was supposed to take care of. now that y’all are up I’m making this my plead to you. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed because I broke day working. I have to let my mind lead me where it’s going. I always want to put the work in. the plan is to make sure this life we are happy. I can’t change the past but I can evolve for us. you know what I’m thinking when I’m thinking about it. you show your true color being blood in New York City. you are supposed to pretend you are in these streets but not.

                                                          CHAPTER 181

People may not see the pain that I'm going threw when I'm going threw it. I know my family understands how hard this is working all types of nights. this is for us and I'm not giving up on us because I want this to work. when you look at me and I look at you and see that everything's okay. that makes me feel good that I'm able to provide for you. my whole world the air I inhale. the words I speak show me that you understand what I'm working on because you are still here for me.

Hi, baby, my name is l's and I'm from Harlem. people say we are the most fly people on this earth. yeah we get fly and get money, we show off for the ladies, and a lot of females like our swag feel me. yeah we buy cars and live in big houses, yeah we club almost every night getting drunk and smoking weed but I need a shorty that's not into that. one that wants to be home because all I want to do is go to work and come home to my family. when that time comes I will have all of y'all in one house. I'm going to have the best time of my life.

You think about what doesn't move so fast because it can be the downgrade to your life. if you want this man here with you. you have to act right we shouldn't have this conversation right now unless you want to. who are you thinking about it better be me because I'm thinking about you? I haven't felt that thing in a long time and I can't wait to get inside of you. your body's calling me I can feel it trust me it's almost time for us to connect. give it a little more time we have to get it right.

You got the bubbles we can pop something. I'm glad you are happy with the company you own because women should always want to better themselves in this world. what you do you love to do so continue to do what you love to do understand me. if we reach for the highest place we will find him but some people say he's so far above no he's right here with you believe me. I know because I witness his power first hand and trust me he is great. if he believes you are working toward a dream he will bless you.

Check it out now this game we play can’t anybody play like my team. yeah, I have people from all over the world that’s ready to put that pain in. if it comes to it we are not backing down from 12. code of the streets you never tell open your mouth no matter what. you take business as a business come because people that are in this game will be there for you. well, at least it use to be like that back in the day. you never know how it is today. so you keep people that are in it with you good.

Can’t see can’t hear no evil. the devil is working every day. you have to want what’s yours and how are you going to get it. it’s up to you the way you move shows how good of a person you are. you can believe what you want to believe but see sin staying right here. you move like you never move before. you have to show up all day and never sleep on the next move you make. cause it could be your best move. you have to stay on top of your game always to protect yourself out here.

If you can't see how far you want to be. you need to look harder because your gift is right in front of you. never let anyone tell you that you can't do what your heart is set on. half the battle is staying focused and the other half is applying pressure to what you want. you have to make me a believer in these streets because people co-sign you. as one of the most real people to ever do it. the game please don't get lost in it because it's hard to find yourself back together but guess what I did and I'm grateful for that.

When you get to a certain age your mind gets wiser and you start to see things that were different from when you were young. people call that mind developing and everyone should have that when they get older. you start to see a lot of things you did when you were younger that were bad. you can correct them by teaching younger children not to go down that path. it's all about uplifting our children. so they won't make the same mistakes that we made. guiding the next group of children and not misleading them.

When you want someone to love you for you. you will do outstanding things for her to notice you on your behalf things just don't change. if you want this like I want this let's fight for it. as long as you are okay I feel good about the way I treat you and the way you treat me let it reciprocate. I hope the feeling is mutual because if I'm the only one that loves what do you call that? showing helping to organize my life to prepare you for life. There are some of the things I wanted to do with my time understand me.

When I was trying to run the streets with my thugs. phone call after phone call. asking me where am I and if can I come dish something off to you. I was like why not because she's my lady and she asks me when am I going home. I know she won't want anything to happen to me. so I listen to her because a man lady knows what's best for me. I remember you walking across the street laughing at me was that a sign of you feeling me? you ask me if I come outside and I'm telling you not that much. I'm communicating thru this song.

                                                            CHAPTER 182

So now I'm sitting here wondering when are you coming home. I'm sitting here writing songs for you. trying to help comfort me while you are gone. this isn't a feeling that I like to feel not at all. I just want you to keep it real with me. so I will know if you are with me or not. this is all that's on my mind. when can we travel the world when you are ready? I will open up this company when you are ready. I plan on never disappointing you because a man wants his lady to have faith that this relationship is somewhere she needs to be.

When I came to your house. you lay down you telling me to hold you down? baby, I have been holding you down from the first day I saw you. I remember you calling me asking her to ask me to give you 15 dollars but I knew it was for you because I had to bring it to you. after that you ask him can you do my hair at his house and he said yeah. you called me and asked her to call me to see if I need my hair done. then she called me and asked me and I said yeah. I got a wash in set and came to the house and you did my hair.

The pressure is on because I'm starting to see bags under my eyes. I know that's from working hard but Godly. I can feel my eyes getting heavy. all day I feel like my eyes want to close even when I'm outside. I'm not getting the proper sleep and no it's not y'all fault because I like working and putting this family on my back. when you love to work you want to work all day and night. you will get good results and I want to continue to write about our life what y'all need to do is continue to give me ideas.

She sick she doesn't even talk like that. I remember when you use to come into the park and stand right where I can see you. you knew exactly what you were doing and I knew that you were getting older and wiser. then you started being over on the other side of the park and then when I started to be in your life. you stop coming to the park in all. if I round up how many times you came to the park since then. out of 7 years, it has been about 15 times. that right there shows me that you respect me.

A lot of ninjas are backtracking y'all stories. y'all ninjas don't want to do that time but fuck that if one gets got the other one gets got too. the question who is willing to die for this shit. everybody had something to say and now I see y'all ninjas don't want any part of that. this is the shit I'm talking about for mine I'm willing to die feel me because when you walk these MF streets. you stand up but a lot of people got tails between their legs. people, it's cool but shit I thought it was gangster just a week ago and you ain't going to do shit.

I'm still wondering who had my uncle alright because it is on my mind. when you know he's watching you but tell me this if this man said they had business together and two hit from different blocks tell me why. this shit won't rest I'm thinking about it a lot feel me. you find out what it is when my dog touches down, people that mess with the feds I know you can't touch them because you will get a lot of time. who can respect that sometimes I feel like my uncle is inside of me because Lazarus was raised from the dead and Jesus was raised from the dead too? what's the connection when I heard the shots I just went to sleep and woke up in u form.

Respect loyalty trust is all of the things you find in good women. the foundation of a happy family is breathtaking. you find out who is on your side by saying no sometimes and if they get mad their just there for what you can do for them. you should always value your family because you don’t know when something can happen to one of them. a stand-up guy is hard to find. choose your friends wisely because people's action shows who they are. try to stay out of the way because grown men don’t get into problems. the only problem that should be attended to is your children.

You had to be down from the beginning. my ninjas are still my ninjas but if you would've seen what happened. you would be thinking differently from the way you are thinking now. the picture says a thousand words. if it wasn't that then it would've been all good but it was the other way. you shouldn't come when it's built trying to fit in with what's going on. this is just me explaining and I'm thankful for what was done for me, in the beginning, it was yes then the streets hit you and you started hanging out okay.

One day inside my childhood my heart died from that day forward it's like I've been out of control because of you. imagine this you walk out all of the problems I have because of what happened to you was it over a chick no it was over dough but we have to stay friends blood out blood in. this shit is upsetting to witness this shit going on. I'm not the smartest guy in the world but I sure know bull shit when I see it. this is my flag and I'm willing to die to put it back in its proper order. when there were codes to being blood.

You wonder why the dog is gone because this gangster shit is for everybody and there's no hating because whoever works in the music business work for me. we have to get back to the essence of rap and be ourselves. young men look at what's going on. you have mixed feeling about what you are and people saying this is okay. I started this blood shit trust I'm the founder of this blood shit. if it was back in the day people wouldn't be able to bang like that feel me. let's tell the truth outsiders looking inside.

                                                          CHAPTER 183

Y'all know exactly what this shit is about. what the fuck do y'all mean. I got folks out of town that's just waiting to get right with people that go against the don. you can't have this and don't have that. you a while boy for cosigning that. if you had the chance to get money you will of course but doing shit like that isn't called for. that's letting people think that this is okay. this world needs man and his wife for real but no disrespect to you. I have been doing this music for a long time now and this isn't the way it works.

These hitches going to sleep with who they want to sleep with because it's level to this shit. be my guess if you can pull one of these hitches you can have them. If you take them off of my hand that's more money I'm going to be saving. I can stop paying monthly for them to live. you think you can take care of them. I think they will break young pockets. you have to make sure you are willing to pay about 50K a month. if you can't stay in your lane ninjas. they need their hair done feet done nails done. you think that's it you got another thing cumming.

Status what's up with you? you want that battleground flow. everybody getting money I know I shouldn't go back but now y'all getting money. I'm in the ring of people that are still moving bricks what do you know about that? the streets are mine from you to me. I hope y'all ninjas saving up for a rainy day or when ninjas hit 50 years old from that day and on my time y'all hit 57 years old. the money will run out that's when I'm going to start flossing. if this baby nine have to let loose the 16 with 1 in the chamber.

So this is what you wanted. when I get to 280 it will be 700verses. I started this on October 11. If that ain't a run I don't know what is. getting inside of your mind this far felt so amazing. yes I plan on bringing it down to 700 because that's in my mind to pass, people may ask where do I come up with this and I tell them you have to spend time with yourself and get your mind right. that's what I did and trust me it feels wonderful. Aaliyah told me to explore her mind and the mind that I have explored was yours.

It’s not all about being apart cause I can’t stop thinking about you. you know how much you mean to me. so don’t get a different idea about where you stand with me. I know you work hard at what you do. so being here makes it easy to love you. from this day forward we need to be in one another life before one of us gets upset and parts ways and you know I can’t have that. sitting here thinking about you. the way you show me that this relationship is where I need to be and I promise to live through you.

You have to control your feelings and what you mean in my life. I’m always planning so we can have whatever it is that we want. let me ask you a question if I wasn’t in this game would you mess with me, people say take it one day at a time. how can I when I got kids I have to live every minute getting money to provide for my family? yes I know y’all need things but let’s not get it mess up it’s hard to do this but I’m sure making sure it happens. I know you have businesses going on and that you bring money to this family.

The understanding comes from us talking our problems out. we must stay holy so God can save us. we can’t let the devil take over our minds even if I believe that there’s only one God and he walks in different bodies. who agree with me. I know one thing my family should believe if this is me. growing up believe in words that were taught to me, you should have faith in this life that we have. you should get the most out of your life. so you can express your feelings to your females.

The words you say to me. you riding around in any car you want. you can take trips all over the world. you love to have things. you think money is everything. I’m sorry I know you are not with me for the money and I trust you with our company. I know it’s in good hands because you have your education. this is why I’m leaving everything to our family. this is why I work so hard to give the family things that I didn’t have. even dough I had everything that I wanted because my family made sure of that.

Just want to let you know you look great understand me. as long as this doesn't get out of control I'm with it. this just shows how pretty you are. how can I think about losing my family? y'all help me get things done and if I let go things can fall apart. yeah, I'm watching you so this shit doesn't go left meaning you turning to one of them females that do whatever. I'll be dam before that shit happen I will have to go broke but even then they got school smarts. I can always fall back and they will take care of me.

You can fuck with that barbie tingz. if you can't fuck with that why be an artist on my behalf. you need bars to mess with that, that's just my thoughts if you are looking for your ken he's right here. when you fly threw the streets from my point of view having badass misses riding with me. this is for you if you take shots at me shots will return. you got it shorty and stop talking about who you are giving the goods to because the only person that's hitting them goods better be me. yes, your man moving bricks.

                                                               CHAPTER 184

Even if I hit the ground I still won't let you fall off. this is why Aaliyah freeze my account and left y'all account open. so you do not have to ask me for money, the money will just be there for you. I have been at the bottom and it isn't cool feel me. I never want to be there again. that's why I'm staying close to my family. I know y'all will take care of me if need be. the streets are hard because you have to hustle for whatever you want but good things happen to people that do good by other people understand.

When you want to get back on your feet. you hope that the females that were in your life when you had money still will wait until you get things right. I know everything that I own belongs to y'all and is in y'all bank account and nothing will change that. I have to stack money that I can use. that's right in my possession. spending more than I thought I had but I've saved a little bit and it started this month. I promise to do right with what I have. you will see that I'm a changed man for my family.

Nowadays girls think that they are the shit but a man wants a female. that brings something to the table and not one that just has a pretty face and a good-looking body. I know what I want. a female that's educated and does not have a problem with working for what she wants. you should know that you inspire me to do better and be better in life. I want you to understand that this whole company is for you to have. so you can develop the skills of women that know what she wants out of life.

You say you wanted me from the first time you saw me. I'm thinking about how many other people you saw before me. you could've been with anyone but you chose me and I love you for that I should cheat on you because of what was back then? you forgive me but it seems like you don't think I'm the man that I use to be. how can I prove to you, that this man is strong now? growing up has set me into a man that loves his woman and never wants to do her wrong. all of these girls mean nothing because if you leave I'm nothing. 

Do you love me if so please don't walk out? you asked me if I can put you in one word. what will it be caring for me? this fight isn't over yet there are still some things we have to do and in due time it will happen for us. how can I express how much I care about you? you are right up there with the woman that gave me birth. so you know what that means right? you are right when I'm wrong. you keep a person like me out of trouble because you know I sure can get in trouble if you weren't there for me. 

You should always think before you speak or do something because your actions can get you in big trouble out here. you make up things about people. you know someone said to me. you can't hustle in front of this building. I can't believe why this gangster must not know me. things can get out of hand real quick. that fighting shit doesn't mean anything when it comes to that wire and trust me. this blood shit is in me one call can get someone picked off. I hope that comes across your mind again.

This one girl that's still in my life but I'm talking about when we were younger. she used to always come to my house and when it was that time to get ready to get busy. she always had to have the best kind of lingerie on. she had to make sure she look good for me always and she use to make sure she smells good and yes I miss that about her. she still good wonderful and I'm so proud of her for being this grown woman. she's still in school and since she was 18 years old and she's like 44 years old and she's still in college getting them degrees right.

What's better than a business partner and a lover at the same damn time. I know our business is at its peak. should I hold a conversation with her or not it's up to you. I saw something that I feel uncomfortable with. that's one of the reasons I have nothing to say to her but if you want me to change my mind give me a sign that you do. facing that is hell no trust me I know why and you and no one can change my mind because if she knew what happened she would've been by your side.

What do you want to do with your life I think I know that you have a performance right. if I’m wrong prove it. the way you do your thing in this music business. I’m so proud of you for you keeping your word and keep pushing your brand. you get up in the morning bright and early to get to your business. if we come together and take care of business together. we can have everything that we want trust me. you have to want this just as bad as I want this feel me. people may say I’m throwing little extra words but who cares.

You may look but don't touch, you may touch but don't taste. this shit is crazy because it's so many females out here. I know I have a family and this is who I am talking to and about. the thought of leaving and developing feelings for someone else can be scary because I have never been with someone that I didn't know. it has always been in house. I know the love is strong but when you know people all of your life is great what if the love you love another girl that you never met? how will that feel just a random thought?

                                                               CHAPTER 185

Are you still down? if I can get next to one that wants to be in my life. when the summer comes females dress so sexy excuse me Layla because it's getting out of hand because I'm thinking this is just a man's mind. I'm only looking for one that can help me rekindle my love life. going threw another summer looking for one female but then I'm looking for Aaliyah so me waiting until life itself ends. the more I see the more it makes me want to do it. these eyes are just seeking someone that can help me get out of the relationship I'm in.

If you want someone else to handle your business make sure you don't give up your goods just to get things done. this is why a lot of girls are lost trust me I know. you think you are going to change the way these men think. this is only going out to my family because I want more for them. you have to hold your head up and make moves as a businesswoman. you can't go on with selling your soul I mean body to whoever. you can't cry after you get in that game because that's what that game is called for.

What you know about going out. is it one of the best lines in this game today? if you have different thoughts yes the apple seed can go to someone else because y'all are not 100% locked in. After all, one of y'all outtakes sexual contact. I'm not mad it's just that this is why I trust Aaliyah because her thought process was always to protect me. don't think for a minute I would do some bull shit like that unless you provoke me. I have no problem going to the other side because I know she's there waiting for me.

People say don't let your emotions get the best of you but sometimes I do think about starting over a new life. you would think that they would support you and would be there for you but it's not. I think I'm at the edge of this life that we have. I know Aaliyah has my back and she wants to see me win. she told me never let anyone come between us and yes I'm willing to wait until the end of my life. when you love someone that much you will wait because it's in your blood to be faithful to her because she can't and never had sex with anyone.

This goes out to Jay z. you said how long am I going to be in the studio and your palms are bloody. that's poems I've been in this music business with you since I was about 14 years old. Do you think I'm going to change my mind about dropping an album I think not? I need about 10 million dollars just to sign with roc nation and tell Bleek shorty got his Niece. she looks just like him but in the music that we have you said, I was supposed to rap the next verse L'Status.

L'S was the one running around New York City with my ninjas getting down to business but before I hit the streets. I use to shed a lot of blood like going into blank. breaking my right arm and a relief burn me in the eye. what about falling down the stairs and busting my right eye open? what about jumping in the snow and slabbing my leg with a glass? I remember Phaze 2 blew an M80 in his hand on July 4th. I remember me blowing up the car and my uncle riding the dirt bike at the same time Hi mumbles.

Once again the chicken types slow, she better gets her shit together because you taking trips out of town. talking about me dropping an album better yet you dropping an album. you better MF respect me because you know you are a disposable camera got that shorty. fly high like the bird you are it matches perfectly feel me. this is a rule you live by being a plucker duck you walk like one and quack like one. you always trying to shit on me but if it is mined it would be good luck. you better do something like do a show and not on the beach.

What's the problem looking at the gun I don't carry that shit on me anymore. had to get to the business because if you handle business strong arm 12 will be on you. so you have to move on the low when the roc broke up I'm sitting back like it's about to go down. that means I have to get in the room and stay in the lab feel me. yeah, he put it on my back so I came through for my company. what you didn't see that but you know it was because of me. let's not get it twisted. I had to have a clear mind to work.

Being mindful of everyone that depends on you. so they don't have to worry and that way you can keep them safe. what you thought I was going to disrespect you. I don't think so. remember me saying what's on my mind. so you can have some degrees about that fire that I spit. yes, I'm waiting until she shows herself that she is one of a kind before we fight we have to talk about where are we. this comes from having some kind of knowledge about the game that we play. so if you feel like it's something trust me it isn't as long as you respect me.

The hustle doesn't stop only people forgot how to get money and I mean real money. you have to plan this out and do whatever to make this shit a reality. there are a lot of people hustling backward. people may ask how you feel about that and I tell them who cares. when you want the family that you ran with to make money. a lot of people want all of the money cars, houses, and jewels but not me. I want people to understand my writing will be here forever. this is something that y'all can't relate to feeling me.

                                                                  CHAPTER 186

Yo, when you are ready to talk come to the old apartment. you mean the apartment where you grab the baby nine from the closet and aim for the temple but it wasn't any bullets in it yeah. the apartment that you had all of the girls in it yeah. the apartment that you use to hustle out of yeah. the apartment where you and your family reside yeah. I'm not talking about when you move because you didn't want to mess with them girls except one. I hope she's still here because the baby that she had was a boy.

Placing yourself in other people's lives isn't always going to work. you have to work at your dream. if people want to lock their minds and brainstorm ideas by all means you do that. you have to prepare yourself to be a fighter and stick with what God has given you and that's your calling in life. move when you want to move please do not let anyone push you because great things come in time. stick to your plan feel me. only you know where you want to be in your life and yeah I mean your life.

Pleasing an individual can be so hard. if you act lady like you can have the world giving to you at the drop of a dime. my blood boils when you cross my path. look at what we have created bringing life to our children. it's absurd that we think the same. people say great minds think alike. when you count the time I have been away from my family. it's been too long I'm trying to get back in your life like right now. I remember you walking up the block and by the time you got to your building. I walked up on you and we started fighting then you went upstairs.

You make things up about me. if you go out all I'm saying is don't be around other men. you can crush my heart Aaliyah is the one that I miss the most but from this day forward I'm not looking back. I remember you with our children one in the stroller and our other child was walking and you were with your sister. do you remember what I told you if not I remember I said I will take care of y'all didn't I keep my word? the only thing I have in this world is my word and my balls and I'm not lying for shit. 

If I'm headed nowhere fast let it be. going down this road has taken a toll on me. when you try to play by the rules it can get difficult. being sidetracked mean you stepping out of your comfort zone and I was never one to step out of my comfort zone when people put pressure on me. you get back by upping your game. being a leader because my family looks up to me. so I have to do whatever it is to make them proud that way they don't look up to anyone else. sometimes it gets hard you have to just simmer down.

When song cry was written he said it happened in branches and I understood what he was saying did you. when I was down south I was around Rally, new hill, toppling city, Brownsville, and Grasselli Heights out there trying to sort out my problems. the biggest challenge was getting back home to my family. leaving there was going to hurt because that's where Layla lives and she's my world. I will continue to talk to her through my writings and I want her to know that I miss her. seeing you was the beginning of my new beginning.

Taking this quote the best of you ninjas reminds me of myself when I was younger. feeling all types of love from people that want to see me win, and that comes from being solid with people that are around you. planning to help your future looks promising. one thing that you can't do is listen to other people that say why or you can't do that. when you participate with others and know yourself. people say run but when I was out of town ninjas never saw that much money taking trips in and out of states.

Why is it I'm going in the wrong direction with you or are you looking for me to be there with you? I have given you everything that you want from me. you can't be asking for more because I'm out of gifts. you need to be giving me gifts because you need to exchange the favor. I never wanted us to be in this situation trust me but my heart is big enough to move on if need be. problems always seem to find me but I'm not running. I'm dealing with them head-on. this is the only way I'm going to be able to face my fears.

When you know someone you act like things are meant to be but it can go backward. you never know how she feels about other men. so you start going out to clubs and then hanging around other girls if it's not that then say hello for all I know you might know someone that knows someone. who am I to take that from you but don't think it can't go both ways. just imagine me finding someone else to be with. sometimes I feel like walking out but there's this feeling that it might be the right thing to do.

Nowadays the streets aren't the same feel me. you can get in trouble and people might be after you but you handle the beef when it comes to you. when you are moving all of this girl. you make a lot of money off of it and I'm not letting that part of my life go because the money is outstanding. you still have to watch your back out here but the trust that I have for my family is unbelievable. people get murdered every day. you have to stay out of the way before that are you and I know you don't want that to be you right?

                                                               CHAPTER 187

Who wants what yo y'all killed this track? when I was young running the streets. the beef was there. A lot of people that I thought were with me weren't at all. putting my life on the line for you but that can change in a second. this is my mind going on only believe half of what you see and believe what you see unless that person says something different. this is the mind of a man that's writing everything that comes to his mind. this is how I express myself again. this is all I know I do so yes you can don't let it go past that.

It's not right it's not ladylike. trying to put things back together was hard but the fight getting back on my feet. yes, I did it because of my family. the way people said something about you. you should just overlook it because you know the type of person you are. staying focused on what's at hand because you never want to fall off. been seen through the bull shit but never spoke on it. you show people that you have a good head on your shoulders I'm wheezing because I need my medicine.

And another one. Do you know what will make me so happy? if I knew the truth about where you stand because as of right now I know you are not here with me. I can feel it because the way you handle things makes me feel like you are on my side next to your sister. if you feel like you want to change up and give someone else a chance be my guess. you want me to spend all of this money on you. yes, you dig down in it. you are supposed to watch and learn. I can teach you how to get the bag that will make you set for the rest of your life.

People can be relentless at times but not me. all I asked for was for my family not to cross me and they did. so yeah I have to keep my guard up because people will hurt me. After all, people have no feelings at all. you have to stick to the family that you have created because they will never let you down trust me when you find people looking for what you can help them with and I'm not talking about you. you know I like doing for you because you gave me all of these blessings. you turned my world from upside down to straightforward. 

You know that you are doing something right when your girl feels happy and feel like she's the queen. that's what you mean to me but if we shall ever break up it will be hard I know I have to move on. I get caught up so much in taking care of your business that you forget about loving my women. I know the comfort of a man is all she wanted but the bills are calling and I know you like nice things. we can lie down whenever you want just let me know and we can do that. I'm not forcing you right now, so you should enjoy yourself.

Creating space between people can cause conflict but it doesn't with us because we know where home is. not being in one another's life for this much time has closed us. we do things that one another will be happy for the other person that's in our life. we need to keep up the good work because the things that we do will pay off in the future for both of us. we just have to believe in our work and whoever is part of this will also advance in life and their company. this is put together by us and we will accept it.

You can spoil women but if that woman is not interested in money. what else can you give her how about you give her your heart. she probably likes long walks on the beach and walks in the park and just hanging out with you. she probably values your company. if you have a woman like that you keep her, and show her love by doing all of the things. I just told you because she will love you. even more, trust me, some females have their own money so they can buy whatever they want to buy but time is everything.

If God gave you a gift continue to work on that gift because you never know what can happen. for our family to be accomplishing this much. we had to put the work in it doesn't come easy at all. stay on your job and I told you if you have to tour go for it. the respect we have just continue to respect our relationship. I know you wouldn't do anything to mess that up right? you look like you are a down-ass girl and will handle me but if I go to black justice will you ride or die? the time I will get maybe a long time.

A company is built on hard work. you have to work even when you don't want to work. when you have that understanding achieving goals come easy trust me. you should rely on what you have just know you are not in it by yourself. I will forever have your back as long as you don't do anything to hurt me. look at where we are at right now everybody working and getting things done. this is exactly what I wanted for us. putting our all into our dreams. followed by strength and dedication to our craft.

Thank God I have you in my presence. baby the only thing I want to do is shower you with gifts. this is the real meaning of love. you have shown me that. when other girls look like they want to talk to me. I curve them for you because of the way you make me feel. I know if I lose you I will probably have bad luck because you have blessed me with these wonderful children and if you don't have children by me. just think about it either you never had sex or I'm the only one you've ever been with. you should be proud of yourself.

                                                              CHAPTER 188

Stepping out wasn't intended but since it happened let me say more. as a kid having a lot of females every day in my house with me and then all of a sudden it was over. I should have gone cold turkey back then but I want y'all to know every day my mind was with y'all believe me. half of my life was having sexual contact and the other half had no kind of sexual contact and I'm 36 years old. so that 18 doing and 18 not doing. you learn the do's and don't as a young kid. I remember Moe used to have me listening to it written all over your face.

I just have to see how this is going to turn out. I’m outside right now thinking about keeping you next to me. I can’t wonder about you with someone else and I never want you to walk out. the rest of my life I want it to be with you. so yes I have to do whatever it is that I can do to keep my mind sane for the better for the sake of our children. the conversation we have should be about positive thoughts because if it’s anything different. there’s a great deal that we might break up and I can’t have that. I think you mean more to me.

When she was in the kitchen cooking for me. she was listening to usher you got it bad. so does that mean when you are out with someone you think about me? the person you better be out with better you know what cause if I have to change her soul I will. Do you know about the boy who cried wolf? I'm telling you this because it is going to turn into the girl that cried wolf. when you say strip because of what you did when getting out of the shower were you thinking about me because I was right there when you came out of the room?

If I'm looking for the same girl that's a girl that's focused on herself you know. one that has her shit together and doesn't mind staying in. if it has worked on it yes I want her to get to that paper. I'm the one that wants to see you succeed in doing what she likes to do. laying there looking sexy as hell. she stays on her grind that's what I like to see when you're not here I hope you remember you got a man at home and I don't want to talk to you. I want to talk to that cat. so put her on the phone I'm asking if is everything okay, this is Elijah.

I just have one question is home where the heart is at? I'm just filling in the blanks to my madness. you know I'm just playing how did it go. you are so far away from me. you know I get worried when you are gone because I can't have any man looking at you. my mind knows that you are faithful to me but I can't help but wonder. this life that we have is enough for you. let me stop playing I know it's enough for you. okay, I'm talking to you again but keep her comfortable never let another man come between us.

Let's get the facts straight the only time you went platinum is when you were with my team. so stop saying ain't nobody else go platinum on my label because you are lying. after you got dropped everything went wood. the game trusts me I understand the rules that people play out here. the only reason y'all was known was that y'all were playing with my money. yeah, you might not be beefing with the family man but mase told you if you know then handle that shit with him. it's crazy how people who were with you now side with the other side.

If 1974 was the year that you were born and 410 is the date that she got pregnant and that's a gang. this can only mean one thing I might have a shot at having both of y'all. let's see where this goes. if both of y'all have children by me. this is what I'm trying to figure out. I'm not trying to throw it in y'all face everything that I did for y'all family but I think I have been a good man with everything that has taken place. since the first time I saw you. I remember texting you asking you what team you are on and then you called and said you see me.

She was holding me down on the block and I love her for that. I feel like she is the one I could put this rock on her finger. so she could walk around and show it off to everyone. I never doubted you for one minute. I had to make sure you were built for this life with me. every call you sent me I came straight to the house and gave you and then mother asking me if I'm going home. I knew that you want me to go home to keep you company and every time I said yeah it didn't matter what I was doing.

People wouldn't be able to disguise themselves from people that know them right. I remember having a conversation with you and you said two people that were close to you didn't like clowns. then I told you when I was out of town. I went swimming at night but I wasn't supposed to but who cares. running around the pool I slip and fell and fell in the water but I was able to swim back to the top and by the way. I'm an excellent swimmer. I hurt my arm after that I never went to a pool again and you told me that shouldn't be the reason to go back to the pool.

Letting the music speak for itself has always been the way I feel the vibes. you should always want to be in my corner because I have the ambition to do better for my family. you want to drop the top and ride down sunset with your hair blowing in the wind. what the hell are you doing right you should be reading what I write because you have to keep up with me. this is our company and you should take it seriously because I'm not playing. I see there aren't any pics surfacing about you hanging out.

                                                       CHAPTER 189

If I wanted to be a player trust me I will but the females keep a young man straight. why would I look for another female? when I have a lot of different females that are in my life that means many different cats. thunder when it storms it rains hard feel me. yes, I did that and I will continue to close whoever had something to do with me being set up. please don't disrespect me because if so it will be consequences and I know you wouldn't like it. so keep your shit tight feel me. a pic is like stabbing me in my back.

Stay scheming when that shit went down it had me thinking for a minute. you sitting in there wanting to come home. I'm coming from uptown and passed the corner. she got this look on her face like you better get my sister out and the only thing I could do was shake my head. what about when you walked to the corner and immediately walked back down the block? you had this look on your face like I better handle business. you know I got what you need this rap shit like the drug game. you have to have them coming back for more.

When I got the phone call the other day, the call was about putting 300 versus up and yes I'm trying my best to do so. it takes time to put this writing together before you say something I know you think about what you are saying after the judge acquitted your case another case was born and I know I told you to take it to trial. I'm so happy we were able to do for you by getting you the best lawyer. fast forward to now, I'm trying to keep the words I tell you. so you can believe me, and when I tell you something I mean it.

You can't be with someone that wants to cheat on the other person. you changed this man for the better and you should be proud of yourself because know other women could do that. there are four seasons and the last one is fall. what's the knowledge in that? it's like whichever way I look it has something to do with you. following up on what we talked about when I first came to your house about you telling me stories came true right? so don't ever think I'm not trying to handle business it's just that business can get hard to handle sometimes.

When I asked you to deal with why would you lie or cheat on me? this time around I plan on holding on to this woman that captured my heart before someone else steals her right from under me but you know what she said you have nothing to worry about. I remember walking down the block and in my mind she said to call the phone she will answer the phone. so when I passed by her apartment I called and she answered the phone she said her mother was out of town when we first had a conversation she wanted to know if the chemistry was there.

Girls get plucked like chickens. this is a public service announcement. if you are a chicken head you have to get your shit together. I'm thinking about eating eggs tonight please tell me Does that hurt your feelings? these ducks hanging out must be on some bull shit trying to take me out because I ain't got it. please the only thing you are getting is a happy meal and she said supersize ME don't even supersize anymore. I was just there trying to get some french fries. this goes out to you for saying you are sending me a pic and I still ain't got it yet.

When I first saw you I was on the basketball court and my friends called you to talk to me. I came outside of the park and started talking to you. you were coming to the park every day to see me and then I had to go out of town. I know I should've told you why and then one day I came back home and you were crossing the street. then you walked up the block and I said nothing that was because I didn't want to talk because I needed to know I was coming home for good. that's why when you walked to the store with my son. I came to see y'all.

Always going to Debbie seeing you there. you always stayed in the room and only came out when you were going out to get something to eat or release yourself. you looked so good to me. you were the cutest person I have laid my eyes on in a long while. you made me feel like it was meant to be but I never said anything to you out of respect for her. I'm sitting here wondering what are you doing right now and do you have a family by me if this is possible please understand that I will be the happiest person in the world. 

Take away the money and the fame. we are all regular people at the end of the day. so we should be treated as such feel me. moving on with my life with the ladies that are here for me is all I want to do. you showed me know sympathy and now that I'm on my feet you can't come back to me. the way I'm moving today only the ones that have been here for me will reap the benefits of what I have accomplished. I can't tell y'all how much I'm thankful to you. she's standing right over my shoulders telling me to work more.

If I had seven days to get my shit together trust me I will because you are the one that makes me smile. I can't help the way I feel about you because you have shown me that life means more than money and I'm setting aside a business for us to run. so we can have all of the things that we need. so be grateful for me because some females take their men for granted and I can't take this anymore. when we fell in love I had my hopes high hoping you do not cross me and I mean to say status because that's the word I like to use.

                                                         CHAPTER 190

Being by your side because you are a grown woman. that has all of the qualities that you are the right woman for me. I'm having this heartfelt idea that you make up 50% of me. being that you are my half sharing it three-way because the corner of the puzzle feels like I can't figure it out. After all, it's too hard to understand. why I don't know why but if I keep playing this little game that is set up for me to play. I think I got it down pack now because I played it every day. this is like school because you are here to learn.

Let's get into how hard a woman can love. the man only knows what he sees and that's his father walking out on his mother. so of course, that's in his blood right but think about it women hold down the household as a single parent if I have this dot on my hand and females gets their period that is the reason they have babies and their body has to check in with me and when people Passover they come back into me. from my writing, you should have learned who I am and what I am doing here to protect my people.

You must love me. if we continue to do for one another we together can accomplish anything we put our minds to. yes, I'm grateful you are in my life. but I can't get over the fact that that happened to you. looking at you when that happened. I knew I had to put my game face on to take care of you. women that's scorn will never forget. I'm not saying it was my fault but we moved on from that the scenario had to be written. yes, I put it in a book to express the way I feel about you.

Doing it the first one that I need to have sex with has to be the one. they just told me the key she want me to pull off in the car while she ride beside me. the only one I look at. you want this the way I want you. you always keep my mind focused. shit, I can't get mad if another ninja shoots their game because if you know me I don't have to give mine up until the end of the road from boys to men. she's telling me age ain't nothing but a number sure I'm waiting for you. how long do I have to wait for my pics to come through I want to see my children having fun.

When you are sitting back lounging. you can see who's with you before you choose one to be with you. I know the money won't keep a lady but me getting money. money can't change me. people may say it's enough to go around. yeah, I'm watching my money stack up but if she is down to lay down with another person be my guess. one thing that won't stress me out and that be getting to this paper and that's because I have been faithful to God. this is why he controls everything in my life. I can't think about the feds and a girl.

Falling without getting back up or at least fighting to get back up. you shouldn't stay down you should get back on your feet and handle what needs to be handled. there are only one God's people if he is designed to be in my image. I mean I'm designed in his image right because if I open my arms and put them out to the side and my legs are straight down. that's how he died on the cross but I like to say status for reason that I have learned being in the streets. the best advice I can give someone is to thank God for what you have.

Better yet let's take our time because I'm trying not to run behind another person that had sex with someone else unless it's worth it. it has to be a long period between the two of us because the wait is on the count and yes I can wait until I'm ready. debating on who shall break it because when you take time to restore your body to a virgin okay 23 years in the world without and 25 years without anyone in New York City. you should pace yourself because your baby girl wants you to use your mind.

I come to understand that this is her that's inside of me because she won't let anyone enter inside of me not even a conversation with another female. she won't let me go because she wants to protect me just in case it doesn't work out she wouldn't have to tell me she told me so. this is the main reason I'm listening to her. my inner self has to respect her because she has guided me this far and I'm not letting her go. the reason she doesn't trust me is that the person has to be someone that she loves and when that person enters my presents she will let me know.

Not knowing where the pick-me-up came from. her voice keeps playing inside of my mind telling me to be faithful to her. who am I to let her down when I'm her protector? I used everything I had to go from hell to heaven to possess her soul inside of my body. I had to shed a lot of blood. Of course, I was willing to let my mind be strong and I never cried when it was happening to control that part of my mind was hard but I did it. I didn't give up on her because she's my savior. let's be real I owe my hold life to her.

So I did what you asked for and put the pic up. I hope you are at a different time feel me. this means who do you belong with or engage with because you tell me everything that goes on in your life. I remember when you bend down on one knee and said there's hair on the carpet. this is more of you giving me the understanding that you are watching over me. by the way. my name is L's can I help you out with what you need help with? I never want to take you for granted. so this is my way to let you know that I need you.

                                                             CHAPTER 191

Yeah right, this is my life and I'm from Harlem. things sure can get messy with you and I. you might be in a relationship but why you are always telling me your thoughts? you should follow your heart before you find someone that's not for you. where we at baby creeping throw the frog he might be your brother. should I write this or hold it in my thoughts you know what I mean. this is why you told me but the mind has a mind of its baby. I knew you wanted me to get out of the streets and I'm wondering if we share two children.

What we share let no one come between us. God gave us a gift and your gift is to keep me focus. so we can continue to make moves that need to be made. I'm upping the stakes I will die for this life that I'm able to give my family. seeing my children is always a blessing because I'm their father and trust me I'm here for them. from the time my children wake up until they go to sleep. I'm right beside them and I will never leave them because the love I have for them is out of this world.

So shorty showing that she can change up and dress respectfully and yes you look great. you do your thing trust me I'm not stopping you. if this is both of our dreams and you put money inside of our bank account why not. all I ask for is respect. let me ask you this do you want to be outside getting rubbed on and shaking your ass. this is a female that's lost and I don't want that to be anyone that's in my life right now. this is why I'm so hard on y'all because I know the outcome to the streets believe me.

Favor for a favor if one got hit from down there and then my uncle got hit. what's the knowledge in this I'm just stating facts? so why would I be alright this shit just made me the person I am right now and trust me I'm not backing down. this is what you call a brave heart. people that you wouldn't think did shit I know you are not here but your name will live on through me. if some people knew the truth about why you are gone. I'm in the car with you and I'm the last one to see you before that tragedy happened. so for me to trust someone in the streets you have to be a real close friend.

I want to be with you can you see that? I know I show you how much you complete me. when I'm thinking about saying something you say it for me or if I want to think about leaving you always show me that you are the one for me. planning a future with you has to be the best thing that this man would have done. just as much as I help you trust me you help me. you new roc always wearing that around your neck. I promise if not over my dead body you will be rocking one of those chains again believe me.

Having this understanding that we are building with one another makes me happy. I couldn't think of anyone I will rather be building this empire with than you. you make life so much easier because you don't give me stress. so I'm able to think about what I have to say. you also make things hard but I like that because I can challenge myself to be a better man and a better worker at what I am doing for our family. crossing this path using my head this is what came to my mind and I hope you have enjoyed it.

Spectacular is the name I gave you because you are right in my corner. whenever I need you but I have to know where you stand with me. this path we have been on I'm glad that you have walked it with me. you make my bones tingle. every time I see you I get this chill in my body and trust me it's a warm feeling. the thought of you leaving me isn't something that I think about. I can't slip that's an inside joke do you get it? I can never do you wrong because you are the queen to me.

Girl I had things that needed to be taken care of back then but this is a new me and this me knows how to be faithful to the one that I want to be with. it's not a problem but being in the game is. you learn the pros and cons to be a man. I think I have grown up. the future looks so promising. one thing that I'm sure of is how can you walk out or if are you living with me. moving on why do you think that's a good idea? you are supposed to protect me from other females. I hold you down so you should hold me down too.

People that want to spend time in black justice. I never understood why but that's just the way they want to live their life. yeah, I hope 12 doesn't lock me up. ducking them until I can't duck them anymore and I'm not saying duck because of y'all females but since we are on the subject. let's talk about what you think just because you do something like that for the children. you are off the hook I think not. I'm going to put my foot in your ass when I see you. I'm just playing and now back to business. the game in this coke world is bigger than you think.

Making my round to get this business off of the ground. let me know if I disappointed you with the acts that were taking place. when I was out of your life not out but you told me. you wanted me to take care of the gift that God and Jesus being myself had in store for me. I know the dots that the connection was moving inside of your soul felt good right? that's how I said I'm sorry for putting y'all through all of that. this time around I plans on handling things differently and remaining loving you for the woman you are.

                                                              CHAPTER 192

Fellas you ever met a girl that matches who you are but you can't wrap your mind around one thing and that be is she faithful females can do that and never get caught. so I have to watch out because my feelings can get hurt but I'm strong. so if that happened I will be ready for it. you think you know her but you don't know her at all. females can hide behind a smile and you will never know the difference from her playing games. I need one that's straightforward for me. so I will know how to handle her.

If I punch you in your face and knock your teeth out. this Harlem thing that we come from trust me is cut from a different cloth and I want those to know to trust me. I’m watching everything if I’m your boy keep me on the right path. if I fall off the money will stop so you should care more about how I handle business out here. please people just tell the truth being deep in these streets. yeah, I sold shit and probably still handling business but who knows. when you are on the low you can handle more street shit.

If o.g. tye died with the gun on the left hand and I got this dot on my hand maybe he’s telling y’all that I’m the reason this blood shit started on the east coast. Damu when I was running the streets it was loyalty in the streets and now blood goes at blood. when this 17 let loose, who’s going to be the person that put the rules back in order? when it started it was for a purpose and now people just banging and making shit up. we have to move around and handle business out here.

The only way I know how to express myself is through this pen. you know things don’t get me upset except the people that cross me. if it was all about that where were they if you say something then do something. this is the reason I’m waiting until I can’t wait anymore. people have this idea that people are okay but when you can see people that were against me. how can you but I understand but if things change just remember it’s because of who and I’m not going to say anything else about it and for those that thought it was a good idea blank them too?

People try to stop other people from getting it by saying people might be working for the feds. people always have something to say about everyone but if people knew it all why the black ball? it was okay when you were receiving corporate checks it was all good. people say other people wanted to stop it by saying things just stating facts. let’s see how long from here because the saying was just to do what was to cover up what was done. if you didn’t have to answer me why say it to do something wrong?

It’s been a minute since that girl came over here how long do I have to wait I’m getting impatient with the connection.  you can see if 12 come get me it’s because of what how many people talking to 12 right now. mind as well speak my mind. it’s a gift to write like this. yeah, the grind doesn’t stop because you ain’t never rich. you see them hill boys on the loose it can get messy. you do what you have to do meanwhile people that I mess with do what they want to do. the microphone can and will get hot.

You won’t see me tonight. how many baby mothers I have since you want to use thought before you do something? that level can matter a fact it did hurt because the next time you’re 50. can you hold on that long I have no chill button? you want to show me something that I never knew. I like to make the worst girls wait. all praise to Allah be for real but you can’t. I know you open you want to be my friend. touching probably who knows but my faith is in her hands. if you got her back let’s go on this journey. if you want to get off this ride be my guess.

Life is what you make it. let me start by saying if you say you not worrying about what other people are doing. how come every time you speak you talk about someone and say this is how you would've handled it? yeah, the block get me 801 but I got that vest on. the only way the vest won’t work will be if I go to black justice. so those that oppose can follow the trend and stay over there because real ninjas don’t tolerate shit. so while I’m here I can get mine and y’all get y’all. the cage isn’t for me at all because I have to feed my family.

What is it all about the game it has people that get the bag and people that want the bag? we are people that are getting shit taking care of the business that is at hand. you have to be straightforward with this game that you are in. the money doesn’t make the man. the man makes the money, putting your best foot forward in any altercation so you can better yourself in those types of situations. I’m planning the right way to live from this day on. the path that you believe in can help you accomplish your goals in life.

Dying to get out of the game but it’s like if I get gone will people still respect me and what I have done for it? I’m telling myself I want to get out I’m just kidding because the money is great and I need all that I can get. stop looking back and continue to move forward step by step. you have to have the upper hand when you are dealing with street shit. being in this life the game doesn’t change only times change. so do what you have to do before you lose everything. so fight for your inner self so you will be conscious of the right thing.

                                                         CHAPTER 193

Trap God First off you sent that girl over here. that’s exactly what I’m talking about. the people that are at the head of my blank organization. if we continue to do good through the connection we can have everything that we want. people should know when you come from the bottom. you will do whatever you have to do to get paid but that can get you in trouble, right? you should move accordingly to keep the connection happy. the things you do when your back to the wall. you wouldn’t give a blank about others' right?

You should try to watch everything you do because who can you turn to when the chips are down? putting people in a position to win is all I wanted to do but people couldn’t handle me on top don’t mind others on top but that stopped didn’t it? like fabulous said you’ll be alright if you present with the man. meaning me coming back home to reclaim everything that was stolen from me. it ain’t about who’s at the top it’s about people giving respect and being a man that can pave the way for others.

She’s telling me if I get in any beef she will be there with the wire to pop off. I’m saying to myself is this female a ride-or-die type of chick on the flip side two times in cuffs? what are you trying to show me? when Memphis bleek was in the video around here and said December 16 ain’t that the day you got locked up. are you trying to tell me on the run with me? on the other side, your baby shower was on December 14 and that Monday was the 16 and you called me at 8 in the morning. what type of signs you are throwing.

So out of everything the only amount of cash y’all have given me is about $62. everything that y’all buy I pay for oh what you mad I’m back on my sporty shit. I remember going to where I was going to post on my blog site. this chicken head was at the beauty Salon ready to get her hair done. this is the shit I’m talking about I can’t even get my hair done. what are you going to say the conversation we had went left. take 2 the mind is a terrible thing to waste.

When you are making a way for you to get money. being tough has to go out of the window because these labels aren’t going to mess with you. you can’t be starting fights and getting in all of these kinds of beef because that’s bad for business trust me. people that are gangsters move in silence because with one mistake you can go to black justice. you should want to get your paper and keep it pushing because 12 isn’t playing fair and trust me I fear no one because it’s in my blood to be thorough.

Fixing problems come with patience, you have to be willing to put in the time for this relationship. you can say one thing and do another. you might ask how hard it is for me to trust a female. yeah, I have trust issues because the woman that has my heart is no longer here nor did she change her soul into yours by entering where I slashed? the way I see it looking above I’m just waiting to get there because I want to see you or see you in my reality. you promise me so much and I’m holding you to it because if you don’t keep your word. the person you are mean nothing to me.

Looking out of my window seeing you walk down the block me exchanging paths with you and going up the block. I know you are trying to wait until I make a mistake but that’s not happening. I’m in this relationship because I want to be. if there’s someone else I wanted to be with trust me I will but that never crossed my mind. my heart knows where it belongs and that’s here with my family. even if we get mad at one another that doesn’t mean we need to separate because our minds are connected to one another.

Discovery is the best position someone can be in. you know I will never hide anything from you. if I fall off right will you help me get back on my feet she replies yes baby? you seem to know what I’m thinking before I say it because another phone call came in to tell me to use E.G. and that means for example, thanks for the knowledge you just assist me with trust me it gets known better than this. if I wave my hand your way better life will happen for you. the grind you keep me on. yes, I’m ready to go to the end of the world for you.

Take away the money the grind the hustle the right to hang with people. when you are by yourself. you have to do for yourself but boy it’s better when you have people in your corner. that will fight for you to achieve your goals. nobody can take that from you. set a goal for yourself and make sure you reach it. grind until the goal is in arms reach never take the negativity. if you have to block out the loud noise do so. so you can have the mindset that you stay on the right path because if you can see potential in me so be it.

You can’t run from the gun you can only hide if we throw that shit on. the crew that I mess with can’t be stopped at all. the game you play is different from what I play. I’m in it for the money fuck the fame. you can keep that because my children can’t eat off of how many people know me but they can eat off of these choices I make. getting better with this pen because I do this shit every day. I sleep writing raps and now my company can make money when I sleep for real, get with the program you thought I forgot.

                                                             CHAPTER 194

I can feel it in the air. yes, I’m seeking the ladies that are in my life match what I have given them because it will mean everything to me. the way she looks when she steps outside is a reflection of me and the way my children look reflects me. so I have to make sure they’re up to par in these streets. sometimes my head hurts because I work even when I need sleep but for them, I will do whatever it takes to provide for them. I can’t let them down under no circumstance. when you like to help others out it feels great.

Straight up you always seem to get your way in everything we do. people might ask how come and I say because you are the queen and I’m your night and shining armor. what does the lion king have to do with this? what’s your favorite movie what she told me. is that a connection with us being together? my mind keeps drifting on what if this isn’t true but the calls keep coming threw, you know I’m picking up regardless. it doesn’t matter because you hit me all time of night.

Only you light it up one time for all of the females that are here for me. this is a wonderful feeling and I’m grateful to you for y’all not leaving me. you can have it all and time will only tell. people have ups and downs in their life. so let’s move on and enjoy this life together before you leave me. I have to show you that I care about your feelings. I want to block out all of the negative thoughts that I may have and trust you as you trust me. I know brother and sister connection that’s how strong we are.

So digging deeper into this street life. hustlers do what they got to do. you can’t be mad we all have the same 24 hours in a day. so make yours worthwhile. take care of your business before you have no business. the positive stay strong while the weak suffer. if everyone helps one another there’s no way we can lose. can I live without the tension of another man's hate? you should cover all grounds. so that way you live better and have a better understanding of life. in that order, all righteous stand up for once.

If I had one more chance to make it right by you trust me I will. when you start building with people you trust amazing things can happen. I’m reaching out to the females that haven’t come to terms that this is where you need to be. the growth of this man trust me I will show you how much I’m educated now and I mean educated on being this man. if you show the ladies in your life that it isn’t about sex. a lot of females will develop that this is where they want to be and all of them will have this understanding that love is there.

People say what you don’t know won’t hurt you but when she’s showing you something how do you take it? it could be meant to hurt you or just let you know that that person came up to you and asked your name and she said she’s married. showing what your mother gave you but I see that you were covered up and you said that before thanking you but if it’s the opposite have it your way. I’m not stopping for no reason that I can’t put my finger around because the grind keeps calling me.

When Aaliyah said come back to her that’s exactly what I did. who else was she talking about. let’s get the facts straight. people think I don’t know the rule having the women that knew her. people said you were seeing both of them but not mine because the setup was on her and I know she didn’t cross me. I remember when you mush me on the side of my head. you followed protocol from the song I miss you. figuring all of this out if I’m not lying who is because as you can see it’s obvious that we have children.

Everyone has street dream tell me what are you in the street for to get money. this is the drug dealer's goal to overcome life and live like king. you follow the bro code but some people want to divide what God has given you. you can’t let know one come between you and your goals. strive for what you believe in. fight for it to happen because if you don’t put your all into it who will? the older Gods told me to stay on my grind. I remember my uncle putting $20 right on the closet shelf and of course, I got it. I never forgot that move.

If the slashes that I had made me change my soul into her body. when I went through murder. I think we were fighting to see who will enter that soul first. we did everything to collide with one another so who won? I guess you won if I’m that diamond in the dirt. I have an S on my chest if you say Esce that word means S now that we are together people say that you are good and I’m saying sure she’s good because she has a man that will do whatever she wants. I can’t let this go, we have to do it until we meet again up in heaven.

If she wants a perfect love story. she might have to look for a man that’s willing to go all out for her. one that will give up his life for her. is that what Aaliyah did for me how can I forget and disregard anything that people may say about you and I. cause I know you are the reason I’m here. Layla, I miss you a lot feel me, I’m pouring my thoughts out so you can understand what I’m going through right about now. if cumsi is 39 and I’m 36 that's 75 and if you hold 150 sure right our grandmothers up in heaven.

                                                            CHAPTER 195

I’m not giving up so easily. when I have my eyes on something that I want. I’m going to put pressure on you and the way you treat me. I remember you coming downstairs and I put my umbrella between the gate and you open the door and asked me where’s my umbrella and I said right there. you hit me up 316 only you and I know what that means. I remember I’m at work and I received a phone call asking me do I have my umbrella because you didn’t want me to get wet. After all, it was raining, which meant don’t cross me.

Being humble is the way to go. if you stay like that anything you want will come to you. let the light shine on you. the question is how long you are going to put up with my bull shit. all of that shit happened back in the day. you coming to terms with that when you look at our family. you can look at the age she is and know that’s the age and the last time. I had any encounter with any women in New York City. let’s be honest this man stood up for y’all and I will continue to do for y’all even if I have to grind from the bottom again.

So there’s a meeting in my bedroom. it’s up to you if you will like to come. I’m watching the words I use because saying that might offend people and I don’t want to come across like that. baby making love to you. how about I bring the flowers in other words I got you. who cares if you are worried? looking at these women let’s share all types of thoughts that run through our minds. baby, do you want to ride shotgun with me? better yet I will get on the passenger side and let you take the wheel because I’m Jesus in my Jay z voice.

Oh no please don’t come after all of this time. I know how people can be on the other side and then see things change right before their eyes but that means my mind is place full. I worked hard for this when I said 520 that’s for people that know what's popping and she’s telling me what’s good. if you look at the half birthdays equal. the transition changed everything. I’m letting you know this if you weren’t with me when I was on the grind be with who you were with.

Let’s talk about if she cheated on me. you can’t get a pass because I’m upset. you will never understand I did everything for you. you can’t hide forever you have to show your face. the person that I will spend the rest of my life with has to be a good girl. I can’t have her out and about. she has to show some respect. no shade thrown you look like you can’t hold it in. you stay on me and tell me exactly what I want to hear. in the middle of writing this verse another call, I'm grateful.

Tell me if we share the same thoughts so I can know where you stand. I’m all up in your business meanwhile you're all up in my business. come closer get right next to me. when I look at you I think God has blessed you. I know I did things in the past but on the 17th it will be 21 years since I had any connection with anyone in New York City. that’s why I told you to have her at this age because you were the same age. if this isn’t what you are doing God only blesses a person that helps others and one that’s not using a person.

If you go to heaven and I go to hell. we have to return to earth nine more times because I have accomplished the gift that God has given me. the people that will return with me be the family that I have but trust me the dot will move inside of our body for all of eternity. when I wake up and you are up I know that I’m slashing you. this is my apology. I just hope you forgive me for being such a bad azz. let know men take this from us and let know women come between our family. let’s keep it real if it wasn’t for you. I’ll probably be having problems.

What you put into a relationship. you will get out of it. just think about it I thought I couldn’t get back on track but guess what I’m on track now. I have been waiting so long for this day feel me. the hopes I have of putting it on you tonight. when I wake up she has breakfast cooked, that’s breakfast in the bed. I want to take you up on that offer for real. the moves you make a real man feel you and appreciate what you do for me. I’m the one that wants to put this in motion can you handle that? I love when you get on top of me.

You mind as well tell me what you are thinking. so I can have an understanding of the way to treat you. how come you only show me, love, when we are by ourselves? I’m there spiritually physically and emotionally. I always show you how much I care about you. this marks 21 years all across the world except Birmingham but Birmingham holds 18 years. when you look at her know that’s the age you were okay. why would you name her after someone in my family if it wasn’t? see things can get out of hand.

As I said when I was locked up on 10/31/2000. I knew I had to get back to my family. I had to give myself time to sort out all of my problems. the troubles I had came from when I was away. some people grew apart but I’m here to tell you that I’m thankful. that you stayed in my life and took care of our children. that’s all I wanted and thank you for still having children by me. I can’t think about changing up on you because when I had nothing you showed me, love.

                                                             CHAPTER 196

As I approach the number that you wanted me to accomplish. what do you have to say about that? I know you got this smile on your face for knowing this is possible. I want to make my way to see you. you stay on my mind strong morning. afternoon and night. please tell me how I get you out of my head. people say you keep someone's spirit going by thinking about them. the image that comes to my mind is a strong image trust me. I never want you to go away from my mind. I locked this door and only certain people can open it.

I’m not trying to be a runner-up for your love. I’m trying to be in the lead and you submit yourself to me. I don’t want to argue with you about small things. we are supposed to be having the time of our life. I never want my mind to think bad thoughts about me doing something wrong to you. meaning cheating on you not putting my hands on you because I will never do that. I’m trying to figure out when is the appropriate time to make love to you. I can’t take this waiting shit anymore. I want to make love to you right now.

Someone is sleeping in my bed. why must you lie about who you are dealing with? everyone is telling me that you cross me. I can’t get mad I just have to get even because if she’s petty I can get petty too. if I give this power to someone else you will regret it trusts me. if I have to walk out and find another female to take her place. I’m not looking back for anything and enough is enough. you need to get your shit together before I leave. you have to be this woman that this man needs or else someone will take my love.

Or was Aaliyah talking about soon as she gets home meaning coming inside of me? I think that’s what she meant because since she been here I have been able to handle this business. you can not understand the feeling you get when your better half come back to you and yes I know you never crossed me. I’m sorry I should’ve said status because you are my 101. when you are ready to draw the white flag because of her and in blood code that means war. if it was vice verse it will mean peace because she wanted to be happy inside of me.

18 years strong without any interruption. I told you I will be there. when you told her I was getting money you were right. when I first saw you down south. I walked to the car just to tell you I love you. when you have time in my mind I will express myself through this pen or should I say writing in my notes on my phone. if you didn’t believe me you would’ve left me but I think you knew better and I’m thankful for that. seeing you immediately looked on my wrist to see what date it was to tell you no more.

183rd ya heard so people will have an understanding of what that means and what’s popping. you put the game on your back. I’m talking to you because our Birthday coming up. I hope everything that you have seen when you saw when you first came back home you have. I put blood sweat and tears into this shit. I will never let anyone take this from me. the only way 12 will see me is a body bag. I’m trying to avoid black justice. can’t see me in a can. so I have to think smarter than the average person that’s out here. so I can stay in these streets longer.

You should always be straightforward with someone that you are dealing with. someone that you allow in your space because that person may know all types of secrets about you. you should always understand what friendship means to you and to the person that you are calling your friend because if you don’t boundaries may get crossed and I know you don’t want that. you should always follow your instincts in everything you do because more than likely it will lead you in the right direction. you should always want to be a leader.

Just got off the phone with part of you know who and she told me boo. my guess is she’s talking about two kids hi hi. this is all a part of how it’s goin’ down. you know I like when she hit me and gives me information on her thoughts about where the company at. you can move one block up that’s 151. we got enough girls to last for a lifetime right? it’s about putting more investment in other companies to build more outlets. so we can gain more revenue of income for this organization.

The call I just received will always brighten up my day. when I’m able to see this little young lady growing into a child. seeing her makes me happy and I am willing to do whatever I have to do for as long as I’m able to do it. if the name connects isn’t that something that she was telling me from the beginning? you talk about you want me to be kind-hearted. I hope so because I will be upset if not. isn’t that what you said the last time we talked on the phone do you remember that conversation?

Just got the okay that everything’s okay for tomorrow and that’s really what I wanted from you. you keep your end of the deal and I keep mine. if we promise one another that we will not let anything come between us. I can’t see things going wrong but if they do I have to put my grownup boxes on and move on. isn’t this what you wanted? when I’m thinking I think about the way it can go and I never want something to go left. as for this discussion it should always be in the best interest of our family.

                                                              CHAPTER 197

People want to see other people that are the type of people I need around me. we have to develop trust so we can go where we need to be before we fight think about what you are fighting for. you look at me the way I am and that’s the way I want you to remember me. stepping up makes me feel like a man and you are my woman. you have a piece of my heart and that’s the biggest chunk of it. you are the queens that keep me on my feet. we have to sort out the problem that we may have. we need to listen to one another.

You see things that I wish I could see. this is because you have your eyes open. you are aware of your surroundings, a person that wants to know what’s going on has the upper hand in life. I’m asking you do you want me to stay here with you. I know I made mistakes but I have grown up can you respect that? things you should ask women who have ever been cheated on because if she has her guard up that means she thinks you might not be the one for her. when she let her guard down, she’s letting you take that man position.

The way you speak to the person you love can tell a lot about the person. if you treat her with respect good things will happen for you. if you treat her like she ain’t nothing bad things will happen. the way you handle people is the way God will treat you. if you had anything to do with Jesus dying on the cross. you will reap what you sow. you can’t be out here playing with your life because he has the last plan for your life. I’m just thankful he took his time with me because I needed all of the time he gave me.

You putting your arms around me. this might wake up that spot and I'm getting inside of you. you bet not hold back because you can tell I want you. whoever that is ought to be grateful that I have chosen you. there are a lot of females that would love to be in your place. I see you have your eyes on me. so let me tell you that I’m thinking about making love to you. let the mood flow and have one another connection be there for us. I can’t seem to get you out of my head. thinking about you all day and then I woke up it was a dream.

You always put me in a position where I overcome and I win. it’s because of you but the parting part doesn’t make sense. so let’s never think about that and if it comes to a point where that’s on the table. you know I did nothing just admitting facts that you might have on your mind. the other question yes I did but seven be my favorite number right. so giving you everything then you walk out. if you think that’s going to make a difference because you want me to answer things you have on your mind. the opposite of my guess.

Cupid shot me with an arrow and it took my heart to another level because I need you in my life. people say you may only find love one time in your life. so make it right by the person that loves you back. you turned my life around. I thought no one can replace her but you have shown me that you are willing to be that special person. that I can always depend on. if this is what love feels like then I’m all for it. what does it matter who’s right or wrong? I’m not giving up on this life that we have.

Looking at every girl out here and you wondered why I want you to be the one for me. if I travel the world I want to take you with me. you never know where we will end up. so hold on and enjoy the ride. if I get locked up will you hit the block and continue my business? so you can handle the company business. will you take care of our children and remain faithful? this is why I’m not going to cheat because if times get hard for me. I know I did right by you. so there’s no reason for you to cross me.

I will take it anywhere you let me. how about we do it in the bathroom or the bedroom? we can do it in the car or at your house or a hotel. There are some of the places I’ll give it to you. I’m ready whenever and wherever. I’m always on point baby, you feel me grinding on you. I remember when I was at your house moe that waterbed got on my nerves because it felt like an ocean. the water temperature turns hot to warm and sometimes cold. this is why I had to pop it just watching all of the water leak out of the waterbed.

I told y’all soon as I get home things were going to change for the better. I remember when the relief burns me in my right eye. mystic saw me on the block and bend down and asked me what happened. I told her I got burned in my eye and then she said are you okay and I said yeah. as I got older I remember breaking my arm in a shape of a u. if you don’t know what that means in blood code black and for those that don’t know what that means universal. that means everyone under one nation is under this umbrella.

What will you do with your time will you give it to me? if so I’m well worth it because I’m a stand-up kind of guy. yes I want to be with you. you are that part of my life that I never want to disappear because keeping you right next to me. helps me stay on my job feel me. people may ask how strong you are and I tell them stronger than some of y’all. before this life ends I want to tell you I love you. you will never understand how much I respect you. your mind I know is filled with passion and I want it to rub off on me.

                                                             CHAPTER 198

Tell me what you are looking for a man that’s always in these streets or a man that takes family seriously. one that learned from the older hustlers and gangsters. but that’s not the direction I’m going in. so passing around females are the ones that I try to stay away from and I’m not taking shots at anyone. I want her to only let me go inside. so when I enter she will scream my name if it’s mined and only mine. yeah, she could be telling me it’s mine but it could be everybodys. she knows about all of the drugs she got receipts about my whereabouts.

Yeah being this person that wants better for himself may make people uncomfortable. forget all of the name-callings because I’m not for all of that. please Aaliyah help me continue on this path without worrying about any females. this is why you gave me yourself. so I wouldn’t have to worry about another female. all of the problems I have people only see what we show them because you can only let fear be the problem. yeah, she’s the one yeah she covers me and yeah I love her.

My name noonsay getting to the bag. you can have the best heart and people will fuck over you. I have seen it first hand so this is why I’m watching everything moving because if he set you up he lives on. if you kill somebody you have to go to jail because ninjas talk. the way shit is going I can’t afford it too many people depend on me. it’s about who can stay in these streets the longest before 12 comes to pick you up. break the name down dam I’m telling you we're up and it has been a hard road. you have to break the half.

Sometimes I feel like I got the short end of the stick because I miss you. this music means everything to you this is why I’m going so hard cause I know this is what you wanted. so your thoughts will live through my pen just make sure you continue to give me things to write about. so far so good keep up the excellent work. two people making this happen is better then one. the connection we have is a connection spiritually. if I have the human being dot on my hand. this is the hand that you hold onto forever.