BOOK 4

  

                                                              CHAPTER 67

    Crazyness happens when people can’t control their bodies. All she wants is the one-minute bill for your son’s father. Breathe when you can exhale and inhale for an extended period. Liquor popping bottles like an absolute boss do. Let’s change the window to not having a wife in your corner. Cocaine 80 keys broke down into the 20s is a crazy flip. Billions, you don’t want to make $26billion.

     Invest in a good woman to share the same dreams you have. Gangster means taking care of the kids. In exchange for nothing, my children count for me. At the time we started, the comeback was this. He promises I’ll be the best father in the world. With people who care about me, I worry about them. Brother sister, we are all that we have. Grandson, my grandmother would be so proud of the things I’ve done with my life, the kind of lifestyle you have to write to my family. The daughter misses you so much.

 

    You know how important you are to me. It would help if you also worked hard for what you wanted by reinforcing your strength. The more powerful files are always what I said. Sentient studies other malpractice to come up with solutions for human life. The hospital is where no one wants to go, but where everyone comes. Why be disrespectful to one another let's talk. An ambulance is a vehicle that comes when someone gets hurt. Just show up when God blesses you with something. Weapons are destructive, and nothing good about a weapon. Differences that you can make excellent or wrong choices in life. Control your belief, your path, your destiny.

 

    Gathering more people to do better in life is always a good goal to have. Razor, I use this on my body one point in time, like 23 slashes. I felt sorry for myself, but I had to do what I had to do. Jersey, my favorite team Iverson was on. I am attacking someone trying to start a fight with that person. My goal is for everyone to keep an eye on me, investigator, most of the time when they think you’re doing something terrible. I believe in achievement. I would not be where I am unless I was.

 

    This is the end of the mission. This will be the last album. It’s hard to say goodbye. Let me get my job done. My life has changed for the better. My fear is not keeping it up. I have to remain focused when the odds are against me. The only thing that comes to mind is faith. I want everyone to know that I’m not afraid.

    Just knowing that the world will end someday, people tell me to get off my great horse. How are you doing? Glasses keep your eye vision on point. 037, do you remember that rule when a dog fights, all dogs fight. That is what I was looking for. Wonder where we went wrong at. Drop point was this taxi driver X gon’ give you bullpen still 031 understand the rules. They say OG Tye died with the weapon on which hand my point stands on the left DAMU.

 

    Who can sex you tonight? Let’s talk around the table and get on with it. All those girls out there have my eyes on one. Maybe she wants me. I promise not to be overprotective. She knows what I’m talking about. Talking to a woman can be challenging, but I’m prepared for the challenge. I only want a woman I can’t have if she gives it up. Her pimp will die in my jay z voice. There is no me without you. Baby, now that we wrap this shit up. Didn’t I say I had you? It’s challenging to take care of yourself. I congratulate you for all you have done for us.

 

    My lousy behavior causes you to leave. I know I’ve made mistakes, and problems have occurred. How can I make this up to you? Everybody knows how much I love you. If this is not true, I would be your king, and you would be my queen. How can I make the right choices? I’m just human. Why cheat on the woman in her dreams? Can I take the time to explain my heart? Come closer to me, and let me whisper something in your ear. Let’s make this enjoyable when you call me. I say hi, and you say, “baby, I love you.” Just hearing your voice makes me feel good. Don’t you ever take away your love? That’s what people do.

 

    Let me take care of your whole body. All night I am touching your body. Undressing your mind just my thoughts. I cannot get over you and how you make love to me. This man is full of ideas. Say what I’ll tell the wife to get her at the moment. Caption the thought of us walking in the park. It’s too many things to take out of you. People still don’t understand me or how I think. It takes time for us to make love. Baby, let’s not rush to see me when you see me. 

 

    So contact me sexually anytime you’re ready. We are going to have some babies as you can be my baby. Kids are just a part of our future like I told you in time. We shall have everything I promise from the bottom of our hearts. You don’t gotta go home. Why do you cause one man to cheat? You shouldn’t blame every man because some men are faithful. Dogs need respect from a female dog. Going out all night for money is not in a woman’s head. Take it easy so that you don’t get hurt. We can’t fall out now. Let’s make life better and have some puppies. This game isn’t for everybody but those in it. Have fun and live life to the fullest. Patiently waiting to get to this point. The mic is all I need. 

    Let people know my feelings about this life. I try to remain out of the water and trust. I know how deep the shit goes. Let me get back on my bullshit as I said, one in the bedroom and sixteen in the video. Does he or does he not leave alone. God knows how to judge and test me. Rain might be the answer to all of my problems. 

 

    I have to keep my head up and grind through life as a man. It’s for all my people that bring justice to black people. How many of us know Mac knowledge. That’s all I’m going through. Look who’s ready for everything. If you understand the rules, why is no one following them? There are many people set tripping. I cannot understand that because we are under one umbrella.

 

    It can be so hard to go ahead. Check out who you are. People fill others’ minds with thoughts about their cheating partner. Let’s sit here and talk about our life. I want to commit to you. My heart belongs to one person, and it is my life. Take the time out and realize what you have in front of you. Why should I want it to stop? Let them talk about you and me when you get along so well in that relationship. That is not going to make us or break us.

 

    Where do fights come from in a relationship? When you have a man or a female telling their partner lies. What does it mean to cheat if you have someone who loves you? I know I’ve had many girls in my past. I apologize for everything that has happened. Now, I am a changed man. I know I have to prove that is not the case. How long it’s been, good Lord. I’m staying with my family because I want what is best for you and my kids. As we grow, the kids grow up too. They watch what we do.

 

    Say yes, and all problems will be solved. Imagine going up behind the ghost with me by your side. Believe me when I tell you that I can do it. It’s only a matter of time. All you need to do is come to your senses and respect your man. Undressing your mind, body, and soul. I know it’s hard to be a serious person if you do everything wrong. Let’s get back on track and handle things the right way. I just want to give you all of my love.

 

    Only if you knew how hard I work to better our lives. When I see you, what do you think I mean. Maybe getting you in bed at night. When we wake up in the morning, you cook me breakfast. Let’s talk about where this is going. We should not play games with each other. Let us be honest with one another. So everything can go peaches and cream. 212, come on, baby. Have you thought about starting this family with me, or will we be co-parenting? That is my point.

 

    I have always wanted to write to you. If I was hanging out all night in these streets, how would you like that? I’m at home trying to start a business. So I can pass this inheritance on to our kids. Nothing will stop me from giving them the best life they can have, even if it takes my life. I will do my best to make sure our kids want for nothing. Let us agree on what our kids expect us to do. What happened to love and affection. It’s for the best.

    Let me tell you that this relationship is not as you say. You are running around with everybody. This is what I'm hearing. Please do not act like it's not true. In due time I will find out. All things in the dark come to light because twenty-one years running things that need to be done. I still can't believe you're out of line with what I've done in my past. Telling me to relax, and now you're just doing the same thing. You know what they say, what goes around comes around, and it starts all over again. Please keep it on the down low.

 

    Telling lies go out with the girls. You know how to cheat. It's just that you do it on the low. Promising that our life would be together. It's been damn near 28 years since you have been out of my life. The thought of me letting you down because you don't even take care of a house. This bothers me, and I cannot get over it. I am thinking of handing over another girl. You expect me to take care of whatever you want. I've had cars, clothes, houses, and everything she sees. This sounds like fun.

 

    Things have to change for the better. Let's take our time. We are still young. You don't come around me, and I'm not around you at no time. I think it's time to have a change of heart. I've had enough of this bullshit, and I'm running from the FED. All those days out of town trying to get money what you think I'm doing here, it's broken. Every trip in and out of town thinking about you. Going all out to make sure you are good. That is what a man does for his lady.

                                                          CHAPTER 68

    Why do you work for a family when they don't like you? The only thing I want is my baby back. I know she's holding me down. Just the thought of her never having sex again makes me strong. Sure I can walk the rest of my life with her. The trust was always there. Believe me. I know what we've been talking about with our daughter about our future. Baby, can you hear me? I'm not giving up on this love when I think about her time in the house on convent 151. Gangsters move in silence. We will never tell everything that went on in our kingdom.

 

    When you're on these streets, it's how you play the game that you're in. Fuck what people think you and I know what's going on. Kids have no future if their parents aren't raising them. How hard it is to protect our children because the kids reflect us. When it all boils down to it, we play a role that our kids have to follow. The kids learn from what they see other people do, especially their parents. You have to show them right from wrong. You have to tell them that the streets are bad for them.

 

    Now I have got you all by yourself. I want to do all the things I had in mind. I want to hold you in my arms. Be mines and only mines. What do you say about that? Let's not waste any time getting to know each other. What is your plan for me, and do you know I have plans for you? I do nothing but be with you. We always should go through life helping each other out. It should be when you tell yourself how much you value yourself.

 

    How many power moves do we have to make? I'm supposed to look at you like we have it all. It's hard to take care of you as we sit here, understanding our lives. We put up everything to keep this relationship tight. This shit gets tricky when I'm trying to figure out what's important, and that being together or handling this work that's in front of us. All I know is I'm willing to do both to keep you happy. Staying by my side means the world to me. You said to start a new company. Now, look at the outcome. Are you proud of me?

 

    It's always about what you do with someone else that reflects your life. You have to wait until the good gets out of her. However, you show her much love. You can't cheat on her, or she can't cheat on you. Days go down in history. Just put things in your book about our love for each other. There are so many things that can be done. I know that we can make things right when we're both on the same page together. It starts with the long-term well-being of your life.

 

    Once it's all over, you know you have a special place in my life. We have to build our future together and stay strong out here. When you have nothing to show for what you have been involved with, you can change your game plan. Find something else to do with your time and money. Follow the rules of the game, and everything will go according to plan in your life. I need you to stay focused on what is on the table and handle yours to the max.

    I don't want to be friends if you can't love me. This man has to step in and make sure you understand that the love is there. When you wonder where I'm at, or should I be wondering where you are. We have to be one. Make sure we know each other every move. People cheat every day. We cannot let that happen to us. We know the talking connection. I cannot wait to be in your life again. This comes from my heart. In due time we will be with each other.

    If it all goes the way I plan, we will have everything we need to live our lives. It is not that hard to be in this relationship. Why is it a problem when we cheat? I know I have many ladies in my life. Times can get better in due time. We can go out and enjoy ourselves. Don't be blind to the fact that I love you. If I was clubbing and you were at home taking care of the children, how would you feel about that? When we could party together, you can dance, and I can throw singles at you. The only difference is that we can make love to each other when it's over.

 

    When your hood loves you, it's the only way to come up. Being a part of this scam is bullshit. Who cross me ready to pass the wire to my women. So she can light shit up this shit that we are in. Fine, you can live your life. Stay on the low. Why do you bring attention to yourself? Cash rules the world, and girls make the world go around. I'm just lying. Money makes this world go around. Yes, I'm going to continue to get this money. When you're down on these streets, you have to watch your back all the time to the east.

 

    You look cute today. Even if you didn't see me, I saw you. I hope you are with me. I do not want to change up, lovers. How can you look so good to me, baby? Your heart is filled with love and affection. I need to make love to you some time. It doesn't take that long to know that you agree with what happened in our last hundred and twenty-five minutes. The days I'm not with you can be challenging. Nevertheless, we have to remain vital for our family. It's up to us if this is what we want. We can never walk away from one another.

    First, you have to get your game together. Yes, I will overcome. The game changes day by day. I'm sure I'll be with you as long as you're with me. You do not have to worry. Men let females dislike them for any reason. It's always going to be hard for them. The woman in my life is good. They are going to be taking care of my kids. That's why I'm writing about what went on in our lives. Why can't I just say I love you? Could you believe in me?

    What type of girl does not want their man to do for them? You got to watch whom you lay down with because there is good and bad sex out there. Don't they ever get shot for theirs? I cannot believe this. They want to see me fucked up. It's not going to happen. Get ready for war. Getting back on the grind means more money, cars, and clothes. I never like people against me because they will try to murder me. I cannot let that happen to me feel me.

 

    I need a woman by the side that I can count on in time of need. One who is there for the longstanding relationship will be my children's mother. So, she will take care of my children and me. This man wanted a relationship with this girl he knew. Nevertheless, he was unsure how to tell her that he liked her. They did everything together. He said that was one sign of her liking him.

 

    As a man, I am supposed to make the first move if I like a girl. That is just how it goes. You have to treat her the right way when you get with her. You have to love this person with all of your heart if you want to make it work. If you want people to understand what you have been through, write a book. So people can read what happened to you. You have to control your feelings for your good if you love your family.

 

    Having children is not the right thing to do. That is why I try to keep my kids away from all of that. If they are looking for love, you should look for your father. I will keep my promise to my family. I always wanted to be on top of my game. Do not try to bring me down because I will not fall with you. So keep trying. How can you help me out? That is what I need to be asking you. That is the most crucial question.

 

    I control my dreams and what I make out of them when it is in motion. Follow me, and I will not lead you on the wrong path. Trust me to stay true to yourself. Whomever you hang out with, make sure you take your time with everything. You do not need people hanging out with you in trouble because they might get you in trouble by doing something they do not have to do. This world has many places to see. I have always wanted to travel.

    People that do not have the mind to better themself cannot understand what I'm trying to do with my life. Having sex with anybody is not healthy for me, which means my kids on my block would not like that. Many girls have unprotected sex with many men. I am not getting involved with them because unprotected sex leads to death, and I am not going for it. I prefer to spend time with the girls I know.

    Let us talk about girls who want money from men. They will do anything that the man wants from them. The mind is one of the most substantial parts of the body. So use it wisely. I have been through it all. There are not many things that I am scared of out there. I want everyone to know that I'm doing this because I'm capable, just like you want to stop me. So what you set me up is turned out for the better.

 

    Turn it up, and that is what I meant. You had to be quick for me to enter your soul. However, I guess you knew that because you handled it, and I am proud of you. Do not ever turn your back on my family, okay. Why cause I will be on to the next one you would not like that right no. I am still trying to find out what you want from me. Is it breezy, love? Baby, this has been a journey for me and you. However, I am willing to test it out.

 

    Jesus gave me a map, and I followed it the way it was written. I got many questions for the people who know the Bible better. I'll never forget you were a part of my life if I remember anything. I am getting back on my feet was not because of you. It's because I made it come true for me again. You never had any respect for me and what I was doing when I was out there hustling. However, I stood here before you as a man.

                                                                   CHAPTER 69

    Why should I trust them when they are the reason I am here on these streets and not with my family? It's more of you all against me, right. So why wouldn't I protect myself from all of you? I just feel like making love to you now. Nobody has to know about you and me. They ask me what happens to you and me. I am not going to let them know.

    We need to know what Jesus has blessed us. This is the start of a new beginning for us. If you are blessed, thank God for all He has given you. I want the best life that I can have. I hope my family forgives the mistakes that I made in this lifetime. Just look at what I did with a bit of time. When we grow up with you, it all just stops. You took care of the kids we had and had to go to school.

 

    Take this little girl growing up with the thought of being my wife. She does not know, but I am waiting on her to get older. Now we have been through thick and thin. There is nothing we can't overcome in this world. Why is it so difficult to return to my family life? We have to come to an understanding of what we want. Sometimes I do not know what to believe. You say you are there for me, but I am unsure.

 

    You are right about us when we hook up. We promise to make a good family. We had many dreams. I am trying to make those dreams come true. I'm working and not much sleep, but I will do whatever I have to do for you. I promise it. Time will only tell if we will be together. Bad things do happen, so let us stay positive. I have to think about if I want to play this game. Dear heavenly Father, bless me some more to continue to do good.

 

    As young black men, we have to break our habits. Our family is falling apart, and men stepping out on their wives. It is not getting any easier for us. It is only getting harder, but you know what I'm going to handle. Sometimes I wish people get off my back and let me handle my own. If you're mine, why are you with other men while I'm home alone? Being sick gets on my nerves because I can't do anything about it.

 

    In these times, we need as much help as we can get from people. God knows how often I pray for my family these days. However, this young boy does not know anything about it. I am learning how to be a good parent to these kids. I cannot believe that I lost you. I can remember when you said you would catch one of my bullets. I was traveling when you said that, but I felt what you said. Now I understand what you meant.

    Do you know that there are no more hardcore rappers in the game anymore? We need to bring that back. When I get my company back, I am looking for not all of the dancing. We need people with real stories out there. I like poets too. I love the music you can dance to, but not always. The music started with people fighting among themselves is not the essence of music. Let's get back to the roots of the music and let everybody have a chance in this game.

 

    How can we say that we were in love at a young age? I guess it was puppy love, as Bow Wow says. Now we are older, and it should give us a chance to find out if love keeps us together. It's always the same thing money is low. That is what we tell all of our girlfriends. What about making it easier when they need to do it? Having a family isn't easy as it looks more challenging than you think.

 

    I sense people in an imaginary player who knew that crossing me is not appropriate for his health one day. Nevertheless, I understand that people do what they have to do to get in the game when nobody pays attention. People sometimes do not understand what I'm saying to them. I know that day hurt you. Nevertheless, you know what I was trying to tell you. God showed us things we do not always understand, but it is meant for us.

 

    There will always be a person above you, and that person is Jesus. We know we have to take our time. We can't rush anything. Patients are everything. You have to live by all the rules when you live this life. I want to take the time to thank all the people in my life. It's hard, but knowing that I have a family depends on me. The microphone, when writing my pen, is real. This work was hard when I first started. Now it becomes easy after writing the first story. God got me in his prayer, and I shall never let anybody take that from me.

    Who is real, and who is not real? I am making way for my family to have whatever they want. Let us keep this life we have on track. We are to respect each other and do for each other. We cannot ever cheat on each other. By the way, we have to work hard at trusting each other. It is the only way we can have a relationship that lasts forever. Standing next to each other makes us strong. It's like we can do anything we want together. Let us keep our family first and take care of what needs to be done.

    This only makes things harder for a man. When all he knows are the streets. I grew up handling business my way. That is the only way I know how to handle business. You never know what is going to happen out here in these streets. Ghost streets, I live with it. What do you live by? It makes much sense when you are getting money out here. Sometimes, you have to fall back to see whom you are running with if loyal. People think you should take care of yourself as much as possible.

 

    When everyone is scared of you, that makes you a gangster. Are you a mob boss of New York City and make much money doing it? You have to sell many drugs in this mob, and murdering people come with it. When you are out here on the corner selling drugs makes you a gangster. That is just what gangsters do. If you have any beef, you take care of it right away. That is another thing gangsters do.

 

    I want to get out of the game one day. That is why I work so hard doing what I do: writing books, writing movies, Short stories, and being a poet. I love what I do more than anything in this world. I do not want to die at a young age. I want to be old and around my grandkids. That is how a gangster goes out. You have to watch everybody and get what you can get out of the game.

 

    What is your purpose in life? My purpose in life is not to take but to give my father what I did not have. Not because he would not be there, but because I think they knew who I was. What is the main reason you work so hard because I want to set goals for myself? Let the kids know they can do whatever they want? You have to love what you do to have fun doing it.

 

    Having this dark spot on my hand means I will enter the light, and whoever is with me will follow where I go. I think my heaven is different from everybody else. What I found out from being out of town makes me believe in Jesus Christ. I know that I can wake his soul. It does not matter if he's in heaven or in life itself. He said he would return, and I believe that.

 

    These young kids are thinking about opening up a spot on their block. Pressure will be on them from the police. I guess they can handle the whole thing. They had seven hundred thousand dollars worth of work. When you are out there getting money, people want you dead. Most of the time, people end up dead. The drug game is the most challenging game to play in this world because you can lose your life.

 

    If you win in this game, you can move on and have a better life for yourself. People are always trying to bring you down because of ninjas in it with you. You don't get what you get, and it makes them uncomfortable. I fail to understand that they are taking the same steps. I'm trying to level my life and stand firm for my kids. I know they have to eat, and they need homes to call home. I did not come up with my name. Trust me, and I will trust you.

 

    I'm trying to make as much money as I can make. So my kids will be taken care of. That is why my business is so important to me. This kid had a gun in his hand, and he wanted to use it to look for money. I'm trying to tell him that is not the way to go about it. He is telling me, but I need money. So work for it if you cannot hustle and become something in this lifetime. Times are always going to get hard. It is what you make of it.

 

    If you have a passion for selling drugs, that is all you will do out there on these streets. I mean, I hustle, but I have more than one hustle. I am not one to back down from a challenge. There is more than one way to get money. I had to make up for the time that I missed. My kids are grown up, and I feel what my dad went through. I am working so hard to ensure that it is money for themselves when they are older.

                                                                   CHAPTER 70

    It becomes complicated when you never try to change your ways. Why do we fight when their young children do not. I made my name none, and you cannot forget it. Trust me, and I will not let you down. We are close to 2017, so let us change our ways. People are using our black females for sex. As black men, let us take care of our black females. If it starts with me, maybe more will listen to me. Never let someone know what you have because they may want to prepare you for money or drugs. Always stay aware before you get murdered. Do not worry about what another person got okay.

 

    This is the truth about life. Making money made people mad. It will help if you do not let your guard down. How can I take a stand in life to become something that my family can be proud of? I always had a good time making music and being a writer. Everything I speak of, I have lived it. I'm getting stressed out over this drug shit. Selling it and being the boss made me learn about handling mine. So I will be okay, and life will be a little easier.

 

    I'm not here about the black people. I'm not sure where I'm going. When my time has expired, I know where Jesus is. I followed him and what I did for him. Giving him wings to fly and what he did for me. By helping me stay focused on my writings, people fight with each other every day. People are dying every day in life. We fight every day for a better life for our family. It's not too hard to focus on what you want to be. You have to control your life to the fullest.

 

    It is hard to tell you that you cannot have sex with me. Let us show these kids how to take hold of this shit. Money never comes in like I come back and get it. It is not good that you talk too much. Meanwhile, I'm calm handling this business. I mean big business. People are getting a little bit of Money shit that you can only re-up with.

 

    This is the way it should not come out as a women worth. Be a man. Get up and get a job to take care of your family. I wanted to have as many kids as I could. We did not want to tell you that most of us were like men. These girls had everything but a man in their life. Then one day, God sent them one man, and they are thankful for that. This man was strong, and one of the females knew a saint.

 

    Set a date on any date, and you will find yourself in control of your life. I ask myself why we fight with each other when it leads to death. Being Sexy nowadays is a death ticket because HIV can catch it. It is looking like everything that we plan for is coming true. Growing every day makes me older mind. That means to start a family if you have one. Make it the best time of your children's lives.

 

    I do not have to tell you this again. It's coming to a time when I will be in these children's lives. Trust me. I cannot wait until you, and I raise this family until the day comes. What's that connection to somebody living inside of me? Ensure the business is handled by all means. I must continue to be a business person. Planning for the future means whatever the outcome is.

 

    This business deal is on the table. Will I take it and run with it or not? Who knows what I would do? If you were in my place, what would you do? I have done the right thing by writing short stories and owning essential companies. I'm not going to be a part of my life. I'm going to get into life until I die. That is how hard this kid is going to work. You cannot compare me to them because my knowledge is different.

 

    I had to work for everything in my world. Friends Come when money is showing, but where were they when I was grinding. I Watch older dealers sell those drugs, wondering how much money they make. I hope that you are taking your time with these men these days. I can remember when y'all came to see me. Then uncle Clyde was riding the dirt bike, and I blew up that car and gave you my ring for your hand in marriage.

 

    I do not like fighting many things at the same time. I like to spend time doing one thing at a time. Nevertheless, the work comes so fast, understanding everything as and when. It is not an issue, but it does complicate matters. I have been through everything that this man can take from these streets. I cannot give up now because it has come to a point in my life where it is only getting better for me. I keep my head high.

    I wonder where my heavens are because I accomplished what my Jesus wanted me to accomplish. So I assume I'm going where his soul is with my family. I can love you better than anybody else. You know that the last person you sleep with in your life is the person you go to bed beside when you go to paradise. That is why I do not say too much about having sex but tell my family to stick with me.

 

    What is a person sent from heaven? They call them heaven-sent. Look, I know it must be a nice place. I know I'm the one whom Jesus chose to handle His business here on earth. Somebody had to do it. Why not Sporty. When you first start going to school. You meet different girls there, and you fall in love with them. They are also falling in love with you. You can learn many different things from what you learn. You may want to go to that area of work.

 

    Once I was home, I knew that I could make moves for us. Life goes on and on. It is what you make it. People understand to do the right thing, and God Will bless you in many ways. I know no one can take care of me as you can. Ladies, I'm trying to remain in your life. You know I intend to marry you. It seems like that is the only way to be with you. Baby, do not let it get away from me.

 

    That bloody shit was a decisive move at the time. They wanted sex, money, and murder to leave the city. So he could lock 101 status blood codes, and that was what I did. They were going mad on the streets. I wanted to be alone with her to talk about our problems. Suppose you want me to love you. You have to give yourself time and take care of these kids. To talk to you means everything to me. I'm telling you, you're not on your own.

 

    I'll have people right outside your house ready to murder you. My people are not playing. They want that dough that you have. You better come Out before it gets messy. I mean, bodies are going to drop. It's like Jesus gave me a gift that does not make me Him. Nevertheless, what I have learned in my soul makes me believe in him. It's like the Devil is inside of me. My point is, that they were fighting within me.

 

    This is the way you make money. You have to save money. Then You will have a lot of money to spend. They will try to take from you. This is what I had to do. I was supposed to start at the bottom and go up to the top. Suppose my last days had to come. It will be with my family. The love of my life is inside of me, and her children live with us as mother and father. This way, we could protect all of you as one.

 

    I'm a drug lord, and I'm not proud of it. I know it has something to do with people dying. It is a lot of drugs and money that we come a custom to. Fast money is not always good money. You have to be in these streets. You have to watch your back at all times out there. The things going on on my block are crazy because they act as if they want me alive. They get their hustle on every day running from the police. I'm on the block to work. I got it too. I'm on the low, but they know I got it.

 

    This little kid was connected to many families. He was not interested in the family business. He wanted to start his own business. So he wanted to become a writer and started writing. He hustled hard to own his company, and it was doing well. We both know I could shoot one of you if I had to. That was a part of this game we were in. Part of my life has been in this game for a long time. I'm trying to keep my life in my family.

 

    I have to plan out what we need to do on this day. The days go by, and it is getting closer. That means we will be together again. Let us remain strong with this love. I know we are together in our minds and souls. I step out of the house to go to my friend's house. I have to take the train to get there. I go to the station, and I run into a girl. She said I looked all right. So I went to my friend's place. He was not here. That is what his sister said.

 

    I feel like she loves me. I have no idea if she is cheating on me. I'm a strong man, and I'm just making away for me to get money so that I can do for Us when we needed. As a man, it is hard. These emotions for you are getting stronger. I'm the last of a Dying Breed. That means I was born in Moe. Do you love me? I talk about love because that gangster shit means nothing to me, my kids, and their mothers.

                                                                 CHAPTER 71

    I know times look like it is getting hard for us, but we have to be here. Many people change into different lovers every day. That is not good for us, and you know that baby. This love feels so good to me. Do you know that? Everybody has fought in their relationships. We are not saints. We all go through problems, but I want to stay with you. I do not want us to break up because I love You. We should always be able to talk to one another.

 

    Why would you want to leave me? I know why, but I slept with others. I must know how you feel because if you were cheating on me, I would be mad at you too. I guess we were in the last few days because you were angry, and I know why. How could you leave and give my sex to another person? Baby, I did not need to leave town. I did that for us, and you know why.

 

    I have dreams when I sleep. It has told me that you are the one. Stay in the house because you know it's love here. There has known love for anybody else. It's so hard to do this for our kid's home where I want to be, and so are you? People leave their kids. I cannot do that. This is not one of the games that we play. I have to be a father to these kids.

    We have these skills to take care of our kids and make sure they go to school. As a father, I want my children to believe that I am the most excellent father in the world. I do not want my kids out here acting out and having fights with other kids. It is because I want them to educate. It is one of the essential skills you need. Growing up without a father makes me want to give my kids everything to help them out in life. As long as they do the right thing, they can have all they want.

 

    As young black males, we must improve our game and be there for our young children. To show them that this is more than they can do and remind them that they cannot achieve anything if they put their hearts into it. Young kids are having babies. The reason is not that they do not have Homes to go to but because their mothers and fathers are not caring about what they go Through. These days, you need support from your parents.

 

    I want mine to know that I am here for them. So they don't have to be as concerned as other children without their parents. One day I want my kids next to me to show them the finer things in life. The responsibility of birthing kids is to care for them at all times. You have to know right from wrong. All you can expect is the best for your kids. So try to teach them everything about life.

 

    I will tell my child how his life is essential to his mother and me. I will tell my children to hold their heads up at all times. If it made me believe everything in my life would go the right way, I would want to have a child very soon. She knows who she is. You are the person I am waiting for. I hope you understand why it is taking so long that is what She is talking about. Everything is going well to ensure that family money is not a problem, and I believe that too.

    My grandmother passed away. My god uncle was like move down south because he heard about the problems I was getting into. So I moved down south, knowing that we would be out of town with money and drugs. Taking trips, I must a meant that I loved it. The hardest part was not knowing what kind of girls I was with. Were they going to leave me and have a new boyfriend with my kids in the house?

 

    So I moved down south. I knew there was no way I could cheat. So sexual intercourse had to be connected to a family member, but only God could understand. That was why I walked through the ten commandments. I was born on Saint Patrick's Day. So I had to pack tricks. I knew I had to keep my eyes open by moving work down south. It's Kinder fucked up when you lose everything. Nevertheless, I knew the money trips I was taking would be there for my family. On 1/7/2000, this female came down south me, not knowing if it was a setup. Wondering how much trouble I get when it's over. I got sick.

 

    I plan on getting my life together. I saw two kids, and the best thing I ever showed them was mad love. To let you know, whoever is forever in my life will be taken care of with no questions asked. Trust me. I do not want to see you cry. Nevertheless, I had to leave to protect myself. Do not let another person take what's mine. I mean me and you making love again. If you thought about it, you better change your mind.

 

    I asked her to call him. She said yes and then she phoned him. I asked him where he was, and he replied that he was playing basketball in the park. What park battleground are you coming over here too? Yeah, how long Will you be there for another two hours? All right, I'm on my way. The pressure is all on me. I know you're all working, so you're under a certain amount of pressure. If you do not want me to help you, I guess that's the end of you and me. I try to protect myself against the ones who don't like me.

 

    Baby, I'm a young man with a lot to offer to someone like you. Do you want more for yourself? I know how I had to learn what to do to a woman. I know how to treat her now. I can't believe you want someone to mistreat you. They had to understand that it was for us. So once they did what they did, I left town. I was around many folks. I was among those who did. First I had to learn about their city.

 

    I will always love you. Nothing is ever going to change that right. Suppose we have sex with someone else. You know how strong our mind is. It will still hurt. How many kids do I have out there? I just have to know that they are good, and they know Daddy is coming home. I know I have to protect myself against those who don't like me. First, you have to plan out who will make the killing. Then you have to set it up because you do not want him to know what is about to go down.

 

    It has to be a better place than here. I hope to be there someday. Our fathers set this life for us, and I meant it is a good life. I'm not going to give up. These streets cannot trap me. I have to be smarter than that. What is the other drug dealer talking about? Our mind is on taking care of one another. We are not ready to die, but we know it can happen. We have to be on our best behavior.

 

    All I have in this world is my word, and I stand by it. I cannot stand when a girl lies about what she is doing. Just be honest with me because I am your man, and I would not lie to you. It takes a home to sell drugs. It will help if you convince people to sell on your behalf. You have to trust them, and they have to trust you. Please don't bring it around your family. You don't want to get them in the mix-up with that.

 

    You all know it makes you blow up one of the people they want to come back and blow up one of us. You better be ready because I don't play guns kill people. There is no coming back from that. It will help if you stay calm. Let us fuck what People think. Get the money. That is what I want you to do right now. That is why I'm writing now. So when I am ready to open the company, I will have something to open up. This is why it's taking me so long to open it up. I'm not rushing to open it up. Nevertheless, if it opens up right now, I will be happy. 

    I must be better than anyone in this game. Right now, you're on your own. This way, I can make the moves I have to make. I'm here for you, I hope for the rest of my life. I do not want to see you with another man. Trust me. You don't want me to see a different girl. If I have a baby, my child will get everything. By whom you know, I'm trying to be truthful.

 

    Now he has to go back to the train station to 151 street. He gets off the train and walks to the park. When he got to the park, they were playing ball. So he is watching the game. Now that I have gotten myself together. I can handle my business on these streets. I do feel bad about what happened between you and me. You did not understand that Jesus was on my side and gave me something to do.

 

    I'm trying to cover up things that happened to me when I was 12. I think that you stayed here to find out what the outcome was. I was seventeen when I realized that I needed to focus on my home. I was going back to New York City to handle my business. I had to stay in touch with my friends because we had issues. So that is what I did. So I was living a double life.

 

    What makes us different is gender. I know you carry those kids till they are ready to be born. So you know everything has got to be about you if he doesn't want to be there. However, you should know that it takes two to make a baby. My friends and I were out before it happened, and it was like People trying to get at us. Nevertheless, that did not stop us from doing what we had to do. I know the girls that were in my life were mad back then.

                                                                CHAPTER 72

    I want you to be by yourself. I do not think you're hooking up with another man. I remember walking down the stairs, and you were there, making me climb the stairs. So you can make love to me. I cannot control what is going on in their mind. Nevertheless, they will Murder me. I know I'm marked to be dead. So while I am here, I will make sure I am a problem to those who do not like me.

 

    It is because good and bad thoughts flow in my mind. I'm good now, but it is taken a while to get back. That is what makes me like this. I have been through a lot of ups and downs. When I got to the top, I would not let anybody bring me down from where I am at. Other drug dealers want me dead. Nevertheless, I keep moving on while my pockets are getting bigger. I am going to keep growing.

 

    Together, we are as essential as ever. There is no way they can stop me unless the way of death. You and I know that this is not going to go well. Jesus is significant in my life. He promises to protect me while I am here on earth. There are too many drug lords in New York City. I know half of Them. The other half has beef with me. I have been there selling cocaine, weed, and crack. The police want me off these streets. They will do anything to make that happen. 

 

    Everybody is trying to get money out of it. Every block has an name. My block name is uptown. You better keep the thang on you, and you better be ready to bust a person for yours. It is the biggest company in the world. I am not after the money. I just wanted to do good. The people are writing work for me. I feel like everything in this world has to pass through my company.

 

    I know they want to come after me, but my older family members are prepared to do that. Yes, they look like they are ready to body someone. Those young kids are walking around like they cannot get bodies. After you make the killing, you have to find somewhere to put the body. So they cannot find it with fingerprints on it. People are unable to talk about what has happened.

    My inner self is still working, which is essential to me. As a result, the money will not stop because our family needs it. I just want my father to get released from jail. If I have to bail him out, I will. If you're ready to take them, let me know by doing so. I cannot take It. This killing shit is making me more in teach with myself. I'm watching my back from everybody out there in this game we play. 

 

    Just chill and take it easy. I will not rush you to have sex with me. I know it takes time for us to lay down and do that. I will wait until you are ready. Trust me, and I will not hurt you. I feel for each other. Many people sell drugs. You don't want beef with them. So you try to watch out for them. Sometimes drug lords buy from each other. Nevertheless, most of the time, you can't trust them.

 

    Have you known fear about anything in this world? I want you to do everything you can to be here. That is important to our family. If you had chilled, you wouldn't be where you are right now. I know it has a lot of money in it. I know it is going to change many things. I will be able to take care of my family. All that money I earn goes to my company. I know the stock is in good shape. That means people will always invest in my company.

 

    Do not let people get that close to you if you watch them close, all right. What you're facing is essential to know whom you want it from. I continue to make my way in life. I want you to tell me you're ready to have sex with me. I know you want that ring on your finger saying we are married. I guess that is when the family starts well. Let me tell you something I am not leaving because I want to be with You.

 

    After they finish playing the ball, he asks her if he wants to go to a show. Her answer is yes, and why not. So they went home to get dressed to go to the concert. Many people are going to perform. They called each other when they got dress. Are you sure you want me? I know my child is involved with this. That is why I'm not mad at you. Whatever it is, you need to show me that you want me. I cannot watch you suffer when you're my kids' mother.

    We should not complain about the way we live. If I could not do it, I would not do it. Do you know we had these kids when we were kids? I knew what I was doing. I had to get back home. When I got back home, the five were still popping, and all of the older men were happy to see me back home. 

 

    When the babies are born, I will be there to make sure she or he is Good. I know it is going to be fun taking care of a child. I'm willing to let you believe me. If the question, you cannot tell the police what happen. If you do, you'll go to prison for a short time, but you'll make time. That is not good telling the police.

    I wonder whom they said he murdered. He better be a gangster, and if he crosses you, you better get your gun before he does. Go to hell, you know. I had a head rush from smoking weed. I do not do that anymore. I try to stay away from drugs. I promised myself that I would stay clean from weed.

 

    My last days will be spent having fun together. I do not want to fight with you. You don't have to worry about me. I know the game, but not this kind of game. You need to walk across town and tell people you have a job. You have to use a phone for business. You have to be selling keys to get a lot of money.

 

    My thoughts about this life we put this up for our kids. I know it is the best life that we can give them. When they get older, they will have everything they want from us. We need to think about their life right now and what they want to do when they get older.

    My baby understands me. She knows I feel that way. So why rush when we are still kids loving what we have. Moe, you know I care about you, and you call the children. That made me feel good, and I do love all of you. In this lifetime, I promise I will be the man you need it.

    They meet up in front of the concert. There are many girls there. Well, guess what he runs into. So he says, "do you remember me?" She replies, "yes." He says, "we could date." She says, "yes." So they start dancing to the music. He is having fun with her, and then they kiss each other. Things are heating up. They ask each other if they want to go home with me when this is all over.

 

    When it's over, they go home to each other. So they're talking about what's going to happen. He asks her whether she smokes weed. She said, "yes." And then she gets up and gets a bottle of Moe wet. She takes out that bottle to find out while he's getting high. They are trying to set the mood right. They started getting faded. They walk to the bed and undress. All of you know the rest of it.

 

    They get up the following day knowing what happens. They have no regrets about it. Her man came home and caught them in the house. He is flipping out. He is yelling. She is saying, baby, but you were not there for me. She tells him that you do your own thing, I know. So it's over and the man she had sex with says goodbye. She says never to leave her. Nevertheless, he says that he has to go. That means she will be alone by herself.

 

    I remember what you meant when you said you had been down for me. I'm crying because you came by my side, and we went to bed. I remember telling you how much I love you. When we go to heaven, I want to be with you because we have been together for a long time. Just think about sleeping with me. I know you don't have a problem. Do not startup. Let us stay on track.

                                                                  CHAPTER 73

    I'm thinking of getting you back into my arms. Would you like that again? I don't blame you for thinking I hurt you. Nevertheless, I pass my test. Suppose you know everything about me and what is inside of my soul. I can make the rain come down like no other. People believe that bringing things to the table makes him a man. Nevertheless, there are many things you have to do. Like, love me. Heaven Is an excellent place to start. Up there, I will like to see how they live.

 

    I hope there are no crimes. Being intelligent means that you will care for your children. That is the best feeling in life. Knowing that they are good, I'm here to play my part as a father. Nobody is going to take that from me. Every day they are on my side. Keep your head in the right place. If I live for the money, it is as if you are ready to pile up before being shot.

 

    Peep game, the mind of a gangster, cannot get hit up. I'm Sporty going to do things that only a one and a million can do. Get your act together with faith. I am not the person that I used to be. You Want to play with me. My wife is alive and well. She lives her life with her man with a great deal of money. Those girls will try and catch you for everything you own.

 

    My name is little l's. I had many friends whom I fuck with. Some older men were named Blank, and the others were named Blank. Clyde was one of my souls met on that gangster shit to tell you the truth. Chopping grams up with blank. Blank was l's daughter. In all, little l's had about 80 keys of cocaine. Blank wanted to go out of town. He needed l's to go with him, but l's said not yet. He was not rushing him, but that is the type of moves blank was making.

 

    Blank hands are hurting from chopping all of them grams up. L's telling her that we have to go out of town with the rest of the keys. So Blank seems like, all right. Blank is out of town doing his thing out there. The money comes from all our work. It is looking like it is paying off. Too many moves are being made that have the blank mad. They want to lock anybody that is down with this. They do not give a fuck.

    They wanted us to close things quickly. Nevertheless, we were not giving a fuck about jail. We knew that some people could not be that trusted. With all of this money, people would hate you. Even people who worked for you in this game had no choice but to get back where I was supposed to be. I had no interest in the people who did this to me. The best thing for me was to give neither handshake until I was where I needed to be.

    Let them see the money accumulate before them. I have to make up for a wasted time. Now my money has been spent. I can do whatever I want without selling it., the last thing is not talking shit you do not know while working on my writing. This game is so fucked up that you got crazy people to talk about. That is why I would not get in this game with some people. I'm a trustworthy person, and I will never talk. They say if you want to keep something from somebody, you put it in a book.

 

    The words coming from my mouth cannot even explain what happened in my life. The pressure of a growing family and the children with it all depends on me. You know I'll deal with it. How can we make up for a lost time? We're supposed to get together very soon. It seems like many kids are being born. Lay, I hope you remember what I told you when I saw you and know where she is at in my heart.

    We have many conversations about what we want to do. I do not realize what we are talking about? I have been making it work for us for the last 24 years. I always wear

green color. How can you get into this game? You have to know people that are in this game. I moved keys for thousands of dollars every week. Many people want me alive, but I will tell you my story about what happened. 

 

    I am not upset about the way my family handled me selling drugs. Some of the men in my family do not like me. Nevertheless, I do not know the reason for it. In this game, things can go good or go wrong. I want to be in this game without the problems. However, I know that is hard because everybody has problems in this game. My family will body whoever wants beef with us. It is not a problem for all of you to die. 

    Let us keep the bodies coming trust me. I do not want to die because I have a family to care for. By the way, you have to be a real drug dealer to be a part of this. Times may be hard for you, but you handle that and be a man. You find yourself loving the money. You may forget about your friends. That is still on the corner selling drugs. That is why my friends mean a lot to me. We all need help when we are in this game. We have to trust one another.

 

    We all know the codes of the streets. You do not tell on each other. That is the way you get killed when you talk about people. I wanted to make a name for myself out here. I have a lot of close friends. How can we understand what we are doing if that is all we know? I will not stop doing what I am doing because the money comes from. You know that this is all we know how to do, and we will stick to it.

 

    Enemies are there for life. So do not fuck with them. You have to watch your back because they will murder you. I need money for my family to be a costume for the right things, not the wrong ones. I do not want to sell drugs. Despite that, I grew up around drugs. I meant it is a problem to me. No one cared what happened to me because everyone is in this drug business.

 

    Problems are a part of everybody's life. Sometimes I get mad because it has changed. Nothing has changed. Nevertheless, I know my kids will have to have everything. This is something I'm going to make sure of. It is a must to be wrong. It is a must to have money. It is a must to dress nice. That is all we know, and we know about nice cars. To have the money, you have to show it. It is not me, but I want to stack it and make sure those in my life live right.

 

    Sometimes I can see myself murdered by someone that's in this game. My friends, it will help if you look at them because they do not want you to have money. I can tell that they do not want me in this game because I manage my business. I have high hopes that my dreams will come true. I cannot let them bring me down to their level. Everybody in this game has money if you are doing it. That is the way that I look at it. I am a little scared because I do not want anybody to get locked up. 

    I need to do it right now. You do not understand how it is to be a drug lord. Baby, be there for me. I know it is hard. Nevertheless, while I am hustling, you should stay faithful because I am true to you. Everything that I do, I do for you. All the money goes into your bank account. I need you because it's not the same as you if I am with someone else. Because I trust you, and you should trust me at all times. This shit does not mean anything without you there. Baby, you understand that right. I want to hold you tight and never let you go. We talk every night. That is the only way that we can spend time together. I am just letting you know that I am not mad. I want my family back.

 

    The best move a man can make is when the pressure is on. We'll make it happen. Gangsters live by the code of the streets. People break these so call codes every day. I live by them because my uncle always told me that you have to fight for it if you want something. You are supposed to believe in your childhood friends. I hope they support you when times get hard.

    I cannot change right now. This must be the best life I can live without worrying. Let us talk right now. Remember when everything was different. Now it is at its best. You were not calling when I was doing poorly. Now I got my act together. Why feel wrong about something that could never be. I am just sitting here remembering the good times when I live on Convent Ave. Being away from home has made me better. I just have to take care of my creations on earth. I always keep my family first. This is for my kids. I love you all.

 

    I am disconnected from life due to my work. Is it wrong for me to want the best for our kids? Working while I am young, so the kids won't want anything when I get older. This is hard, but you being with me makes my life easy. Baby, long nights at home texting you. It's one of those things I can't leave behind. Be that as it may, the important thing is to keep my family. I know those thoughts are in your mind as well. That is why I am writing it down. So you can understand what has gone on in a father's mind that wants to be a father to these kids. I wish us nothing but the best.

 

    Baby, you make me a better man. Keep up the excellent work. If I fall, will you hold me up? I just want to hear it. This is a significant relationship for me. It is levels to this shit. You have everything that a woman could ever want from me. This is the last time you tell me that you forgive me. Let me take that as a yes. The next thing I know, it's in my sleeves. This is a new start to a happy home. Baby, do not make me love you with all of my heart. I like every suggestion of where we should eat. Yeah, the kid can get nasty at times.

                                                               CHAPTER 74

    This calls for a celebration. Are you down with me? Let me know before things get deep. Why make games when you and I are in love. Look at my eyes with the thought of cheating on me. Can you handle taking care of yourself without your man listen to me? That is going to be hard? I cannot get over the time we spent together when we were young. Now we're both older. Is it anything you want to say to me? A detachment with us, not as one. I will always obey, and you should do the same.

 

    He hears what she said about us. Yeah, we can be together. God bless the time we share. I will never leave you alone when so much is in my heart. This is when I tell you to love real. Nothing happens without permission from us. One of the reasons I say home is where I want to be is to make my bed now. I have to lay in it. Without my family lying in it with me, it would not be a bed. How can we make this life last forever? It's when you don't want to be here anymore. How can a man let go of something so promising?

 

    Life goes on and on. You have to stand out from everybody else. They say a closed mouth does not get fed. Nevertheless, my family does not have to ask for anything. I love making space for us to take care of ourselves. Making intelligent choices makes it better. You have to understand that we are in a fight, and that is what we are fighting for. When there is more love, there is less fighting. The only time we fight is to keep our relationship moving forward. Everybody has their opinion about how our life should be. Let us just prove them wrong and stick together.

 

    Pick and choose whom you want in your life. You know, just going by with what I saw missing, doubt about it. Having you close to me means everything to me. When we ride, we ride together. Looking at you, make a good understanding that things are okay. You look better than me. When everybody is on the same page, we can get more done. A man who will do whatever you know. When I see what the rite is trying to do, you know that. We can take care of ourselves. Turn you into my pride and joy in my Fat Joe voice.

    Holding back your love. From a man that just wants what's best for you. This game baby taking trips all over the world. Do what you want to do when you want to do it. Does that make you feel like a queen? I know the game and know it well. I have been grinding since I was nine years old. Do this because my uncle would've wanted it like this. Money just wants to go into blood code. 510 what do you say 1500. When I call you and you say get back at me and I say I just got back at you. 212 pull up with this conversation you talk a good one you buffing.

    So the year 1987 this young man named Ellison. Was at two twins' houses. He stays there until Sunday. Sunday came so their mother drives him home to 151st in convent Ave. When he got out of the car. Ellison is closest to the car door. He walks up on the sidewalk to where all of his family was at. He has this look on his face. Like a puzzled look. He didn't speak to any one of his family members, He walked through the first door and then walked through the second door. He walked through the hallway. He got in front of his door and enters the house.

    I went to where my cousin was at. Looked her dead in her eyes like murder. Then she picks up the triple five and slashes me in the temple. When they found me I must have had blood all over the sofa. They rush me to the hospital. I could feel them putting me in a body bag. Sewing my temple back up. After they finish sewing it back up I woke up. After a couple of days. Just getting off the hospital bed and walking out of the hospital building was a blessing.

    I can remember entering the house where I got the triple five at. So I just played as if nothing happen. At seven years old I and sex walked out of the house to go to school. When we got to the corner she yells out for money. I turned around walking back up the stairs. Enter the first door then enters the second door. Then walked into the house and saw my uncle. Ran to the closet grab the baby nine aimed for the temple where the triple five was itching me. Pulled the trigger nothing goes off. My uncle walks to the closet and I handed him the baby nine.

    The game why would I be involved with people that are in it. Let me tell you why not tellers. I was born in the '80s but the '90s raise me. When it was a few loyal people in it. I can't help it I got to tell the truth. Gun on the shelf. Totoo bad nothing in the chamber cause I would've got rid of me. Uncle you wouldn't want to be out here with these so-called gangsters. If you are in the game hold your head and stay true.

    I want to cop big houses and nice cars. But for now, I have to stay on the grind. Maybe one day I can have all of that. I got this feeling it's coming to me. Whoever is with me when I grind that's the family. That's what I will do with no questions asked. Just sitting here with deep thoughts. My shorty would be turning in her grave if I wasn't one of the most respected people in this game. Yeah, I'm doing excellent with this time can't wait to see you.

    What is crossing me means for them fuck the other side. I saw the south not just visiting it being out there with wires. Breaking you down not where are you aren't that important. It's four told when you ask too about what went through. But l's knowing it's hot fuck it sent ATF to the house. I'm going out in cuffs. 2months isn't that long for me I will do it.

    Going to the next step thanks to Layla how can I get out of that check it. Just stay focused on home and every moment will help you out. Troublesome as 2pac would say warning as biggie smalls would say. Riding with wires ready to find who we are looking for status is now turned on 101. Sex money murder I have bones to pick with you so don't get caught up.

    Being strong when their other men in your life. Help me understand. On the other side, I need a woman that's trustworthy of my time. Whether it's in mind or conversation. You know what for my sake back off. This knowledge that I have will lead me in the right direction. Kept a strong head on my shoulders. This life has just begun let sixteen out the clip inside of my women. This might be the best time to say thank you. Babies are born into our life. Maybe I deserve a woman that's with me and only me. It's over separate I ain't going to trip. This must be the hardest thing a man has to do. And that walks out of an uncomfortable relationship. You can't tell me one good time we had. Or a standing place we are in. Just follow your heart. It doesn't matter who gets hurt in this companionship.

    How when where are you. Who knows this young gangster. Been out here for a long time. She said she want a rapper or an R&B singer. Guess what I'm both of them. Got the game in a frenzy. This can't be true for us not to understand the way. I set this life for my family. She is out clubbing I respect a businesswoman who's coming home with something on the table. My woman making money by the caseload and her husband will still lock and load. We have to have a connection with what's going on in these streets. If we plan on making this company last.

    When there's a will there's away. Let's make sure time doesn't catch up to us. In a good way, I pray every night that the man upstairs blesses me. Writing for millions of people that are reading my writings. I just want y'all to know I'm so thankful for the love of what I love to do. That's the time I take what I have learned about these streets. Learn how to bag up then get money. Stack money for my ladies that I love eternally.

    Battling each other for what when your hold game fake as fuck. How in the fuck do you claim that gangster shit. Jake on my back maybe he hit me for what plead the fifth. If you were born in then maybe you were sworn in it. It's in my blood to be real. Who helps L'S guns makes a lot of people move. Telling y'all touch money is all I see. Got some DAMU got some LOCS and 74. 410 what the kid on the count thought you couldn't notice.

    When I was in the south. Gangster Disciple crazy them people give it up. Guns slow life when one time rides only two Jake every five hours. I fuck with them. They had a lot of love for this blood just writing this letter to let people know I'm not one-minded. Who Boss B-HAM don't ask why this album cause up top got a lot of Morr D. If anybody love this gangster shit. One nation under and above life.

    Grinding means helping others out. That's one of the most important parts of life. My guess stays true to your family. When one falls your friends can hold you up. You can't play it's a game you cannot win. Try to be the best that you can be. Money shouldn't change the way you live. Have a good head on your shoulder. This shit is hard when we as brothers have to eat. We just have to help one another as brothers.

    Yo, when will you learn everybody ain't here for you but one thing you have to win. What the fuck do you look like trusting these females. Keeping my head dead in the book. Yes, I'm counting my blessings from the man upstairs. When you have him sitting on the left side of your hand it is possible to feel me. I got to stay focused on what it is I'm trying to do. Life is too short ninjas will use you for money. I'm in these streets. Ain't nobody saying anything about that. Until you put yourself in that situation.

    The way I miss you. I promise to never let anybody take your place. The way you use to handle my business out here on these streets. I remember the conversation we had when you said go handle your business and I'm going to handle mine. Kissing your lips felt so good. Looking out of the window seeing the stars and the moon at night knowing you are watching over me. Like you are my angel I know why God needed you close to him because you are a reflection of me and taking me at that time wasn't in his plans.

                                                                CHAPTER 75

    You mean everything to me. I know money isn't everything and being there is better than money. But your mother got me working hard to give you the best life that you could ever want baby I love you. I miss you so much I miss holding you in my arms. I remember the first time I saw you I was walking up the block at a block party and your mother and her friend was talking to one of her male friends and I kept walking she came up to me and said that's your daughter and I said I know. After the block party was over we walked together to my house and you and your mother stay overnight at my house.

    The hustle doesn't stop keep getting your money. Watch your back feel me. I had to come to an understanding that the world moves on and on. You have to be on your grind. Pass work off to those who buy from the game. Meanwhile, I have the connections that ninjas want but I'm not giving up on myself. Miss me with the bull shit plan carefully never let them get the upper hand on me and if so I bet the baby nine isn't playing know game with anyone. As hard as it is you have to be a man and stand up.

    The more you do the more he wants to fall back. Can't make up my mind about you. Yes, the misses are you and our life has to move forward because there's nothing more to do for you. The life we have let's share this time and make sure it lasts forever. I'm humble let's see how far this is going to go. I'm at the last straw in this relationship. You need these playful vibes. I promise to make our relationship last the words you told me.

    When you work hard I don't want to end up in court or go to black justice. In the game, there are a lot of people that be telling each other. I can't understand how ninjas go to jail and are out quicker than a mother fucker or if it's a long time and the time gets cut in half or little to nothing. Ninja if you get the time you have to do it. If you get out early I guess that's what they call good behavior. I just don't get it. People say mase left because of who I asked him S.M.M feel me.

    I hope I can get these raps to the end of time. I'm working hard for you and you know that right baby. Loving that body you coming out of the shower. When I'm at your house for what is it game you running on me. Called you and she responded in a voice that I never heard before. It sounds like this baby I love you. Tell me if I'm taking it too far or is this going to work out for the best of me. Yes, I have a 1on1 feel and I love her with all of my soul.

    What the fuck do I have to go through to stay focused. Only Lord knows how hard I worked on this. The pace means everything to me. The satisfaction of knowing you did it means a lot to me. The grind is the waiting period you take to get where you want to be at. It seems like it never ends work I mean. Planning the moves that you are going to make. When you own the company you have been working so hard for. The time you put into your writing at night and in the daytime and afternoon.

    The sweat the pain the worries death the life. Whatever you are involved with just hold your head up. Keep pushing through life. Look God right in his eyes and ask for what you want. Trust me he will give you what you asked for in due time. That's what you call prayer and you pray with your hands together. That's the way he hears your thoughts. It's up to him rather you deserve his blessings feel me. You do good for others and good will come to you.

    Fall back and let me handle this. The way a real man handles his business out here. Let go never get upset or yell at you baby. I'm taking care of you for the rest of your life. We pretend nothing is wrong with what we see. Yeah, people single me out and now look at people asking for my help hope all is well. The reason we are in this place is that we grind for this spot. Everybody was asking me why and I said because I had money in it.

    Get down and dirty a man wants a female like that no. I want one that respects herself all of the time. One that got an education one that has businesses one that's getting to her bag but also respects herself. One that knows when to tell another man no. If he tries to get her number. One that's faithful one that looks out for her man even if I'm not there. One that has my back. That's a lot to ask but if she's a Godly woman that's where she stood.

    Live your life to the fullest understand me. What you don't know won't hurt you. But if she is doing things behind your back that's someone you can't trust. Trust me what's in the dark comes to light. I'm doing this to let people know how hard it is to trust a female. If I have to watch everything you do that's not a happy relationship and if you have to watch what I do means you don't trust me either. I have a business to attend to so watching you only going to make me lose money and I'm not letting that happen feel me.

    If you know me then you know I'm one of the best rappers out there. I'm building this company that can't be stopped. I'm showing true talent feel me. I'm not giving up on my dreams you can't take from me and expect me to do nothing. Ninjas will remember me for getting this money the company that I own is at the top of all top companies. It takes time to write how much I have written or should I say writing. My head stays in this book so my family has nothing to worry about. What do you want a man that hustles hard I'm looking for a woman that hustles hard I want women that work harder than I hold you down.

    I love you. You put me where I need to be. These other girls mean nothing to me. Money spends on you because of the way you connect with me. I'm digging deep in my heart and guess what I found out. You are the one for me. Taking care of you but I can't help but wonder if you are using me for money. If not girl the world is in your hands. The growing with you and you loving me while I love you. This is a mission impossible let's prove them wrong. I'm doing my best in this relationship. The way you look like you are the only one with me.

    Get with the movement and don't be know follower feel me. Keep your mind on what it is you are trying to do. Stay to yourself girls out here having sex with a lot of people. Please don't get it fucked up. If a man has sex with a lot of females he's a player but if she has sex with a lot of men she's you know what. Please keep mine to me and yourself. I don't need ninjas to be talking about my shorty sleep with everyone out there. You know what you signed up for yeah I'm faithful. Get money please don't worry about what a female is doing.

    Catch up ninjas I'm doing big things in my life. Blood gets shit popping feel me. Hustle for real like no other. When you find the outcome of the game. You part yourself from that game. A' lot of females don't want a ninja with a job. I'm playing the game whichever way you get your money make sure you keep your money to yourself. Hustle for yourself having this life you can't find a ninja-like me in these streets. The grind doesn't stop because you got locked up. Yeah, I miss my dog for real. I'm getting out of my feelings. Trying to remain sane.

    When you feel the pressure. Let me keep mine to me and I mean it this time. You have to move like you out here by yourself feel me. Stop and don't do things for anybody anymore feel me. Why the calls I think it's just to use me but guess what I got all of my blessings. I'm not pressing anybody to be with me. My female is up in heaven and that's where I'm going later feel me. I can't wait but until I'm there I'm taking care of my daughters. Baby daddy loves you for the work I'm putting into this game. Trust me everything has its ups and downs. It's how you handle it.

    Everybody has a chance to do something super in their life. Mine happens to be writing stories and I'm proud of myself for going all the way with this and not giving up on it. Write until you can't write anymore feel me. When it's all or nothing you will do your best and watch the outcome be super. You can't hold back my mind telling me to keep growing up and be a man out here. Make smart moves that are what a lady that has her life set is looking for. One that can do for herself and wants you to bring something to the table feel me. Somebody she can grow with.

    I'm telling you right now the way things are going to go in a relationship with me. We are equal partners I know you feel that way what more can I say. Getting down at any time is a strong woman but can get nasty at times. One that keeps her level up gangster. This is a match made in heaven feel me. Yes, I'm causing havoc in this game. You are the definition of a gangster. Making sure I'm okay I'm making sure you are okay that's what your partner does for you. Even when you fall I'm here to pick you back up and make sure you get back on your grind.

    I'm in the streets. When you play in these streets. You better know life can go either way. A' lot of people died from this game or they go to black justice. I can't end up in that situation. Yeah, I'm in the house working. I see people in and out of black justice. My daughters could never take me going to jail. I have to talk to them every day of their lives to let them know it's okay. Planning for them to be great means so much to me. There's nothing I wouldn't do for them. This is why I'm building this empire so they never have to work a day in their life feel me. My grind shows all they now know is daddy this daddy that y’all mothers misses the both of us.

    When you are wanting to go out and hang out in the streets. There are a lot of females out there as well as a lot of ninjas. I don't know what you want the way you change things up. Who to trust she's giving me a sexy vibe. With all of these females that are willing to be with a young ninja getting this money. Tell me what I need from you. You can't do anything for me. I need one that can help me grow if that's you I can't tell right. If I get the heart to talk to a young shorty. She may be the one that helps me grow and what's next is counting all of this money. You into me and I are into you. The way she looks at me when her eyes cross mine.

    Let's be friends if you help me out. I'm going to help you out. Yes, we can be more in time what's your status are you single. Yes, I'm single let's face it who cares about your boyfriend unless that's me holding you close feel me. How come you deserve this love I'm giving you all of me to make you happy. That's all I want to do to you. Ghost what's popping everything you want is yours. Who would've thought this Junk town ninja would fuck with a girl from ghost town. Let's keep getting this money to follow the rules of this game. Undressing you with my mind followed by sexing you.

                                                                     CHAPTER 76

    This is the shit that gets me hyped up. When you are in my bedroom taking off your clothes and getting naked with nothing but heels on. She started to lighten up to get high but of course, I’m drinking. Yes, she's more faded than me. I'm climbing on top of her. So do I have to tell you what else happened or use your imagination? I'm all for getting mine as well as she's getting hers. She's the one and only one I want in this lifetime. I'm talking to you about how many females is the question. I want all that I can sleep with if she's okay with it. We can all be friends. I promise to take care of all of y'all let's experience the life that I have for you.

    You are always here for me. That's what I like to see from you. My love may find you in your heart. I appreciate what she's doing for me. The love of my life accepts anyone trying to enter my heart. First, we can start by talking in the mind that's how I undress you. It ain't about sex that's the last thing you need in a relationship baby. The time away from you is hard. Helping me means a lot to me. You feeding me means a lot to me. Taking care of you is all I want to do for you. You said I was the one for you. We can't separate ourselves from one another never and I mean that.

    As I get close to you I'm wondering how that body feels. Do you remember when I had you a long time ago now it's about the joint that I had when I was younger and it's about the known females that are with me? You stay on my mind baby this is the feeling that you give me when you are on top. I'm the one that does for you so why would you cross me. I'm on the bottom of you watching you riding the d got me open trust me. I'm watching your body move side to side and up and down. When this here is over yes I'm going to call you. She's asking me don't treat me like one of these chicks you play.

    You always talking about what you are going to do to me. I can't wait until the day you do something to me. Everybody wants a girl that's faithful to him, not one that's for everyone. I'm watching you out the corner of my eyes. I'm watching you grow into a young lady here let me help you become a woman. She wants a ninja that doesn't talk about who they hit in other words had sex with. You show your true feeling I ain't touching anyone. That's why a lot of females that are not on these streets want a man like me. Let's come to terms with what you want me. People think I'm tricking no I'm just investing mine in women that know what she wants.

    When you see this young ninja getting money maybe the baby is his. Whatever it is I'm here let me fix this if not I'm like 100 feet away from you. You made your bed now lay in it. Fast money ain't always good money. Nowadays you need slow money to stack up nice and easy. When you are on the move hustling means you getting bigger ninjas can't fill your shoes. I might have to let my lady handle the baby nine. Yeah, it's hell in NYC the devil is evil look what the takeaway got us. Grinding like no other. When you are a baby pit with a red nose feel me bite strong half of the key will put me right where I'm supposed to be.

    So my brother heard me when I said Pete I'm reaching and he came through like a big brother. S.M.M until the day I die. I'm trying to change my life because that's what my brother would've wanted from me. I can hear him now telling me to keep my head up. All of this is just writings. Yeah, it's hell on earth you are all alone in this world. The question is why and he answered with I will. From Simlack to Rollack if you don't feel that. Biggie said 16teen floor check it why is that your date of Birthday sex. You are my queen and I will do anything for you believe me when I say ninjas did cross me please excuse my status.

    As days go by we learn more about our partners. I'm all for the love that you have for me if it's for me and nobody else. Connection names and other sorts of stuff let me know that these are my children. That's what I'm hoping for. Nevertheless if not I have to go on with my life right and leave all of the ladies that I thought were in my life alone right. Okay coming together as a family helps so much because we will have one another's back at all times right. That's a sign of us sticking together right. Letting nothing happen to each other right. Whether it's you or me we have to take care of our responsibilities right.

    Catch me in the drop-top riding around with my ninjas. Hustling gets money when we are at the top we still won't rest feel me. Gangsters lay down how many shots ninjas can take. Fuck what ninjas think hold mine down. Re-up always who got more pounds than my ninjas. Yeah, we got bricks to in the house chopping dimes up too. It's the way we live our lives in the streets. Looking over our shoulders from 12. Gambling is always on the corners. Watching ninjas that are trying to get at us. You see me low a little bent but my ninjas stay high feel me. When you put money up who's money bigger. Leaving this mic on fire hot like fire ninjas level shit up.

    How about the game ninjas changed the game. I'm going to find myself one that I can lay back with. One that knows her place holding me down. I'm not in these streets. I'm home working on my business moves. That's all I want to do is keep my business at its best. I can't stop making hits. I have to keep my game where it needs to be and that's in the front and at the top. No days off work all day every day fall back if you don't want to be one of the ninjas on the hit list. Getting deep in these streets that's what NYC ninjas do all of the time. Shout out to all my ninjas that love getting money.

    You must stand strong through all of the bull shit. Yes, this life that I love you can't walk a mile in my shoes feel me. You and your ninjas don't cross each other. A lot of ninjas cross one another all of the time. When do the rules apply to everyone? People talk about how many bodies they got. Ninjas talking about all of the drugs they sell. This shit ain't new to me. The best words I have is to keep your business to yourself. Never let ninjas know your next move except for your friends if they are your friends. You are in this game until the day you die feel me.

                                                             CHAPTER 77

     The level of this shit can't get faded. Watching mine as always like I'm supposed to do. This is the little world that I have created in this time that I have on this earth. Thank you for listening to me and a big shout out to my family for sticking this out with me. I'm so proud of us I just want you to know there's not a day that goes by that I'm not thinking of you. My mind is at its best when I leave here people will remember me. When you play this game yes you are taking the hard way out. If you go to school that's the easy way out. Learning believes me it's better.

    Respect is giving when you give respect. Due as to others as you want others to due to unto you. Everything has to be set as a goal in your life. You do not have to speed up the process to get what you want out of life. People will work with you on what it is you are trying to accomplish trust me. Ask people for help and ask people to help you make good decisions out there. So I'm 40years old and I'm trying to change my life for the better. So that way I can grow to the best of my ability. Growing yes it means leaving all of the negative bull shit alone but who wouldn't want to do that.

    Trying your best that's all you can do. You never give up also think about a plan before you try to jump right into something. That's why I play them back and learn the business and make sure I have the skills to run a corporation before putting my all into something or someone meaning investment. People will try to use you and the same people you see when you're up you will see when you are down. So you should be nice to everyone even if you are doing excellent or doing not so good but if you're at your worst and people don't help you their not your friends from the beginning. Stand your ground and make things happen for yourself.

    From the first time, she told me she was blank. The only thing I could think of is she was mine but the question remains how. Like the others were blank right. From that point on I did everything that I could do. I got calls every time she had an appointment. Given all that I got to make sure she has the best life. I understand that I have to stop the bull shit and get on point taking care of her. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her. She named her after my little cousin. The question is for what. Maybe she's letting me know that there's a connection there past tense.

    I'm going back in time when everything was at its best. Baby, you take so much out of me. I'm putting my heart in your hands. Can you see the plan that I'm planning? Late night in the studio is hard but the hardest part is being away from you. The thoughts that I have in this mind when I think about are you cheating on me. When it all comes down to it I'm going to find out the truth. How hard is it to say yes to the one that's been there for you since day one? I never looked like I did anything when I was away from you. Out of town yes I learned so much and the most important thing was being faithful to you.

    As I sit here wondering what's my next move. I hope all of the females that are supposed to be in my life stay in my life. Yes, there are others out there but when you want the ones that have been down with you from day one. You will do anything to stay with that lady. If there's no trust the relationship is going to be hard on both of you. Taking care of children is the best feeling in the world. I'm not in my children's life but I'm writing every day to let them know how I feel and what I'm going through. Hopefully, my children understand why and that I love them with all of my heart to my unborn children.

    What does a black man need for a faithful woman? You can't find that anywhere I'm going to take my time on who I love. You are supposed to be in this position for all the good reasons. I want stand-up women that know how to take care of their black men. I need one that spends time with me. One that loves me and cares for me. One that I can hold all night and every morning. One that respects me one that knows how to treat me. All of these drugs are killing us. That's what they want us to do so we don't have a clear vision.

    I see what's going on in this world. The only thing I can do is make me and my family's life better. I know words don't mean anything I have to show and tell what happened on my way getting to this bag. Yes, make moves, as I should never forget it's a war outside, ain't no man safe but when you are protected by the baby nine. Things look different from everybody else. I can't let my family down times get hard so what works through it. I'm almost at my peak. When you put everything on the table and just take the good with the bad like Big Meech said your team becomes stronger and winners.

    Living happily with you is all I want. Going out to eat or to see a movie with you. How hard it is to get back on my shit. Playing the field fuck that I need one girlfriend or a lot of girls that understand each other and all of them know about one another. You have to take care of all of them baby yes it's the hardest part of my life. I realize that it's not easy for you to take care of your children. I know I can't walk in your shoes and you can't walk in my shoes. Let's meet halfway and help each other out with what we need to do for our family. I'm living for this moment when we come together and be one.

    Ninjas want to sign to my label but we don't need you. When I came back home the first thing he said was I needed to get down or lay down. Then I took that to the heart and didn't shake hands with any of them. Ninjas weren't speaking to me but always ran to the spot to cop work from the spot that we were running and if anybody says different. Ninjas know the truth why ride another man's coat tail when you're supposed to be getting to your bag out here. My label is building the strongest team out here cornering the market.

    Get your mind right. I'm trying to ball until I can't ball anymore. How are you going to get this money by getting deep into these streets? You can't talk that much that's what I learn. I saw a lot of shit in these streets. The Harlem streets ain't nothing to be fuck with. I saw a lot of bodies that just made me aware of my surroundings. Control what happens in your life makes you a man feel me. When I came back home on 3/9/05 biggie died and bow wow birthday. I left the courtroom on probation. Yes, back to the street for 2years I couldn't get in trouble.

    Mother everything is going well. I'm keeping l's up working. What you need to do is keep status sleep. You see what status did when he had the mic. He is the point-blank person that I remember more than ever. Remember when he ran the streets. Every pass-off was more than 50thousand dollars every move. When he tries to overpower me. I turn into me back in one piece and he's not stronger because I'm older. But his little self has strength. If we mix both of us or come to an understanding. we ain't nothing to be fuck with feeling me.

    It's not what you do with your time. It's more like how are you spending your time. Do you spend it with family members? Do you spend it writing and taking care of your businesses for me I like to write a lot and I mean a lot? My mind stays on coming up with new ideas on how to make my company successful. Putting words together and making them into sentences feels so good. Overcoming what people thought I couldn't overcome feels great to me. Understanding work is the best feeling in the world that one can have. Putting your all into what you are trying to accomplish.

    Undergoing all of the ins and outs. This call for all my ninjas to stand up and handle things the right way feels me. You have to start somewhere in life and don't take your life for granted. Drive people crazy for what because I can never drop my guard. Mix hands with other people to get more money. If you and your team take time to brainstorm you and your team can come up with something important trust me. Grind until you can't grind anymore. Keep your head in this book at all times. Reading and writing are fundamental.

    Twenty-one gun salute. Getting back on my feet I'm not going to say people didn't help me. As long as the people say I helped them too. It was a two-way streak. I'm only a human being the dot on my hand says it all for me. Getting down people tell me if it wasn't for my father a lot of people wouldn't be who they are. I no longer miss him because he's in our life. If my brothers hear me one day all of us will come together. Follow my path in these streets. Yes, I'm watching the streets carefully I'm proud to say I learned a lot from these streets and I take what I have learned and apply it to my everyday life.

    Playing with females can get you in trouble. I had to learn that way. I'm showing you that you are the only one for me. I'm making my way to a better life. Life is hard for me where's shorty let's talk about life and what it means to us as one. Never cross me my fault let's use status. This is the shit that ninjas are not ready for. How many people signed to my team yes I'm buying everything up. That's for the gees that know what's popping. My ninjas in the south know what that means. Building a brand takes a lot out of you feel me.

    This goes out to the ones that have my back. You learn something new every day. This here is for 2pac and Biggie. This is how storytelling tells its story. Who would've given a fuck if I was shot? I see everything like people with people that set the gang up but it's a blazer world. Hot like fire yes I was 5007 for a long time. Fighting to get back to the east side. When I left his house I started having flashbacks of ninjas wanting to murder me. Yeah, he was with me traveling to let him know ninjas tried once and I will be damn if it happens again. Treetop green soul colors our death. Five what's popping east side all the time.

    What's in this world takes place for what you do in this world. Never looking back moving forward. Staying grounded at all times. Being focused on staying true to yourself through the ups and downs. Having someone to depend on has someone that has your back. Making up for a lost time. It is said that the smartest people have fewer friends because people can't understand where I'm going with this. You strive for what you believe instead of non-believing. Take everything one day at a time. The outcome will determine how strong you are.

    Being connected to your soulmate only mean one thing you will ride or die for her. It's nothing to think about you do what you have to do. This rap shit ain't for everyone. Only a few last in this game. Trust I'm not worrying about another ninja. The time waits for now man so make this life the best life that you can. If you fall out with your friends never cross them even if you're not speaking. I'm in a place where I got to eat. What do you tell a ninja that's eating too much to stop being greedy? It's dark when the dog bark yeah I'm the one you have to worry about.

    When it's big enough for the world to see. You become a target but as long as I got this dot on my trigger finger. You better calm down yellow backstay on my back. Mr. Freeze with one girl and that's the girl that's inside of me. How's my blood drop doing Layla daddy moving. I'm going to continue to keep my feet on these ninjas' necks. Let's see who can last the longest in this rap game. Common sense let's play cards who got the joker. If it's true I do what's on my mind and that's this money. Actions speak louder than words. Don't lose yourself in the midst of what you are doing.

                                                              CHAPTER 78

    So we had a talk in bed at night wake and you told me that I had to handle business. So when I get older everybody will be taken care of. Dropping me off out of the car and me telling you to spin the block five times. Walking up the block saw an opp and asked him to walk down the steps he said are you going to murder me and I said come down. I told him to walk up the block and then the dot let off 17 out of the wire. I'm leaving to walk up the block and I got to the building I'm under the stairs wake comes in the building.

    What goes up must come down. You try to remove yourself from the bull shit but guess what it keeps surfacing. You know my model keeps the paper in the mind. Ninjas get cash everywhere and stay on top. I'm not a known hater first and foremost from a loyal team. If you can't trust your ninjas then who can you trust? If you still doing the same thing you were doing when you were a teenager it's time to grow up. Know shade thrown I'm laughing at what's taking place. This is for all my real ninjas in New York City getting to that bag.

    Outlaws watching the path that you take. Can be so hard to watch your soul before you leave anything unanswered. Keep moving fuck the drama can't stand me then ride. Yeah, it's the pen that continues to get busy. I'm not letting ninjas knock me off. I'm thankful God and Jesus watch over me. The bottom line is when it all falls pick it up and you smile even if you can't take it. Never let them see you sweat. I'm from the battlegrounds. Where we want to see our people win the battle that we are facing feel me never let up.

    The highest power what do you have for me. We better be talking big money. You always fight with your feelings. Yeah at sixteen I went to a place where there were a lot of blanks yeah I threw it up and they also threw it up. Traveling back home was a reminder the block is going to lose one of his soldiers. Yes, I miss you the connection between you and your family lives forever. Who said it was the emotional roller coaster losing you. I know you watching over the Mob family. This is why I'm going to continue to hold my head up.

    When you have a strong friendship with God who can take the blessings he has for you away nobody that's who. Be one with yourself and never follow I was taught always to be a leader. You have to know what you want in life or else nothing will get done in your life. Set goals and follow those goals until you achieve them. People will try to tell you you can't do it. But you have to keep pushing the mind state that you in will become something like I am in and that's the zone. Work hard and be considered by others who want to help you accomplish your dreams.

    It's always a lesson to be learned in this life. So that's where we stand never seeing you again it's fine with me. My mind is on these raps the conversation we had talked about being half in this game with you being my manager yes if that's what you want you got it. The next time we bump heads yes I will say something to you trust that. Whoever rides with me still watching my back and who stands on the side of me. I love the people that pull for me. I can see everything that's in front of me. I'm never letting them take me without a fight trust and believe that.

    When that day comes that I have to let my children take over the company. It will be well planned out. So not that much work has to be applied to the company. Everything will be running smoothly as it could move growing as time pass by. You think I'm working this hard so my company can fail never fail. I'm going to grind so hard that the non-believer believes in what I'm doing. I gotta stay focused on what I'm doing out here. Knowing that you are still alive that's all I needed to know and want forever. God hears my prayers that's why I talk to him every day and this is the blessing he has sent me.

    When we ride on the people that set me up. I'm in peace now but I still have to watch my back. The gangsters turned friends you know how the streets do. When you are on top they run with you but when you are at the bottom they will leave you. What do you want me to do going out partying no why there's money on the table. Eat the whole plate you and your ninjas. You don't want to bring too much pressure from the 12. Look what Harlem turned to. When you dry snitching on shit that was going on.

    When you stay in a blood bath. Who's sending shots at me even the closet faded makes me think was it about money. I pray to God it wasn't that. Fuck the other side it's the west side until the day I Damu one die on the hand as you can see. My body my temple the mind all of that could've been taken from me. When I was going into murder. So being scared isn't a problem of death when you know what it feels like. The more the game changes the more these people claim blood and for what. Southside gets down together miss you brother.

    You telling me to dig deep inside of my soul and bring out the good in me. The wait is over here I go again back on my bull shit. Yeah, I was hoping the drug spot doesn't get run in it. After it happened ma left nothing found in it. Put what happened in a book so ninjas know what a young ninja was down for. The stronger the more pain I'm going through it. Bomb first before they bomb on you. Classes yeah get the business straight before you die and I better go out by God or the dot let loose. If the rain starts let the 40 days and 40 nights happen. What if it never stops.

    Pump fake get you nowhere nowadays. Stand on your 2 feet and never let known one take that from you. The game yeah it's hard to play by the rules. Don't ever tell the 12 before you do know that the streets ain't fucking with you anymore. This the rules that I am by. I was a young ninja friend who didn't know what I was into in these streets. Just because you don't touch work doesn't mean you don't have work. If I could've lived a straight life I would've. But what ninjas don't know won't hurt them and for those that know and if you didn't know. I guess now you know. My goal is to get wealthy, not rich that's where I'm at right now.

    Make your mark in this game so people will remember you and don't take shit to follow the rules feel me. It's another world that's the business world that's what I'm trying to get into. Yeah, it's hard to get in but when you own the biggest company in the industry. I'm not giving up yet the pressure that was put on me. I'm trying my best to contain it. When the world is watching you attend to carry yourself differently. Yes, you ride for what you believe in never take no for an answer feel me. Keep grinding until the day you die don't forget it's one in the chamber and sixteen in the clip.

    In this game of life, you can't let anything or anyone get to you. You take the good with the bad and the bad with the good. Standing here not knowing what you want to do is a no-no. You have to figure out what it is that you want to do. Right now I know for one I'm not thinking about what anyone is doing but for me. Female or male unless I trust you. Trust is a strong word I just don't throw that word around just like that. I take my time with everything I want to do even if it means finding a female. My mind is on my company and taking care of what needs to be taken care of out here.

    You have to know wins when it comes to the streets. This world is not to be played with. I have been in this game since 82. You are not ready for a person like me on your mind. Keep it up that's what my ninjas say keep pushing. In the midst of it, all the street life isn't what it used to be. I can't get over this shit if you get caught do your time. I know the feds watching but I'm not scared at all. If it goes down it goes down. I'm able to rise over this bull shit. Keeping my calm should be one of the things. That a young man learns in these streets. Who wants war feel me.

    Every man wants women that he can trust right. You have to give trust to your women. You always tell her how much you care. She's saying she needs space you want me to walk out and give you your life back. We grew up together we shared everything that one another had. Yeah I know I made mistakes. Come on can't you forgive me. Everyone knows when you walked out my back was to the wall. Baby, I had nothing and no one. So yeah I was in my feelings. When you left you took everything that I own right. The harder the more the problems came. Looking out for myself was hard because you said you will always be there.

    The conversation started like this did you cut your hair. I said I'm growing it back or did you say am I growing my hair back and I said yes. You asked me to walk with you to the store and I said you walking too fast. So you go to get something to eat and asked me do I wanted something and I said yes. Then paid for it and then passed me $20 to get something to drink I asked for a sun kiss and they said they didn't have it. I'm telling you they didn't have it and then I said I'm going to get a fruit punch and you said to get what you want and then you said to keep the change and walking back down the block I forgot to say thank you.

    Play the game by the rules. she wants designer clothes and shoes. costing thousands of dollars. who am I to tell her. no, my baby gets what my baby wants. when she smiles it can stop the rain from falling and turning into the sunlight. she's a great person to know. she's always popping looking at her getting money. she's bright and smart and runs in her family and she has my back at any cost. she always handles her business and she always takes care of her man and she's a bad female that cooks and cleans. making sure her man is happy that's what I love about her. she never makes promises she can't keep and she promises to play by the rules.

    You tell your soulmate the heart of the family that it's all good with you. now she's telling me she misses me and wants me to come over to her house but why are you calling me 3clock in the morning. waking me up out of my sleep and that's not the first time. you did that on a lot of occasions. I'm wishing that was a call that you wanted to be with me and I'm telling you yes. the way you tell me that I'm the love of your life or are you telling everybody that. should I change up and go on with my life and take care of myself because this here hurts. if you can change I'm willing to work on this relationship in the present and future.

    As we move on and continue to do good with my company. I know all of my faith was in God's hands. he helps me through some rough times. he got me through everything. sometimes I use to sit there and pray to him and guess what he answered my prayers. I give it all to the higher power. the devil is evil don't get out of hand with what you are doing. hold on and make the right choices. if it's up to me put everything in God's hands. let him take care of it. trying to fight by yourself you will never win and it will end badly. the thought of me not asking him for help. I couldn't do this by myself. believe in him with all of your heart okay.

    The person that I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with has to be a woman. that knows what she wants out of life. listen do not cross me because, in the long run, you will need me again. karma didn't come back to me because I did nothing wrong when I left my home. my kids were on my mind all of the time and you know that because I'm always saying my kids mean everything to me. I hope my kids understand why daddy isn't there. trust me it's not because I didn't want to be there for you. it's because God and Jesus gave me this locator on my hand and I had to follow what they had in store for me and I'm thankful for our life together.

                                                               CHAPTER 79

    Things don't make too much sense when I think about it. yeah, I'm in the mood for you to come to see me. showing is believing that's what people say. I'm doing everything that I can do for you. yes, it's hard taking care of you. she doesn't want me in these streets anymore and I'm not going to be in these streets anymore. opening up a company is what she wants. how are our children going to eat in the future? can't you see I'm trying my best baby? the work gets me tired sometimes and I'm up for now handling business for us until the day I die. I'm making up for all the wrongs that I did so trust me and I'm going to trust you.

    How can you pace back and forth? please tell me what you want. I'm only one man and this man has the world on his shoulders. I hope I'm touching the people that I need to touch. I need you to tell me if this is something that you want. baby what does this mean that you are trying to find yourself. didn't I do everything to keep this relationship on point and focused? tell me what did I do and don't tell me. it's because cheating is okay. I know that wasn't right. you asked me to put souls together and that's what I did. baby do you know how hard that was. shedding all of this blood out of my body.

    Let's have makeup sex people say that's the best sex. If we ever get mad at each other. let's yell and scream at one another. having fights gets me upset but the loving after it's over. from the time I walked in the house, you started telling me about all of these girls that I'm supposed to be sleeping with. meanwhile. I'm telling you it's not true why don't you believe me. you are the only one I have in my heart and mind and soul and body feel me. being away from you for a little time hurts me. when you vow to be with someone you love that person.

    What's so true about our relationship is we understand one another. people say when times get rough. you will probably leave me by myself. it takes a strong woman to stick around and wait until something good comes out of it. one that's always holding me up and never letting me go. bring your sexy ass here and let's talk about our friendship. baby, I'm calling out to you do you hear me. show and tell I'm showing you and I'm never telling what we went through. let's keep it to ourselves and never talk about what goes on in the house. let's keep what we talk about only for our ears baby.

    What if I was thinking about helping someone with what they want to do. how important it is to put someone in a position to do better. so I'm this writer that wants to see someone grow but what if they do nothing for you. there are so many other girls. if another guy can help them then why can't I help another female accomplish their goals? my feelings go back and forth but soon I'm willing to get over the past. Wish me a happy birthday by giving me a card. they never did but everything they want who takes care of it. I know someone would appreciate me. giving me something never was the plan.

    The older kids from the block were about 15 years old and older. the younger kids from the block were 13 years old and younger. so it started with us going to house parties. that led to the skate key. it was about 15 older kids and like 12 younger kids. so the first time I went was with day day and we had so much fun there. when Easter came around the year was 1996. a couple of my friends went skating key. skate key had a lot of girls there. so as we walked in a lot of girls were looking at us. like we were the new kids in there. At about 8:00 the dance floor opened up and I and my friends started dancing. we all spread it out, you know that first day we were popping.

    So everything was going well. until this one girl came up to me on the dance floor. yeah, I dance with her and we exchange phone numbers. going back to the block we went to my friend's house and fell asleep. the next day we got up. we use to play up the block versus down the block in basketball, so we did that. the younger kids use to fuck with us about what set we were in. the block was real life back in the days. ninjas just are hanging out. fighting with the young kids that lived on the block. the young kids were growing up real fast. half of us went to the school IS90. having beef with different races up there but you know we hold ours down.

    Shit got hot for us. we going everywhere not giving a fuck about what ninjas think. my guess is ninjas singled me out because I was getting girls for a reason that I undressed in all of my stories. my friends and I were leaving school early to go to my other friend's school to pick them up and we were cutting school to hang out with girls. some of us started smoking weed at a young age. then the blood came to New York City in full effect in 97 everybody was turning blood. blood was all over the city. meanwhile, back on the block. I had a couple of girls there but the girls were hanging out too. going to parties and skate key. the girls were dancing with ninjas too. girls were messing with my friends also.

    In the back of my mind, I had a family that I was handling business for. it's been about 20 years since I slept with anyone from New York City and it's been 17years since I slept with anyone in this whole wide world. ninjas were in their feelings was it about a girl no it was about money. we got to stay friends blood in blood out. people rolling up on me and my friends wanting to fight us. we are not scared but where did the hate come from. so something happen to one of the girls and a close friend was the friend that did it. then we got to run up on some young kid and I knock him out. I told him to tell his friends to come holler at us.

    Later on that day they came uptown with like 75 people we were in the park and they wanted to fight. so I and my friends walked out of the park and walked down the block and told 151 everybody ran up the block. we caught up to them cops came and everybody went home and we are hot as fish grease. the kid moves down south. fast forward to 2005. I came back home got on the phone with him bro and told him 142 he said he can handle that okay. it's a lot of work that's going to be coming in. so we started up light a couple of ounces everybody started knowing we had it. money started coming in. we moved from ounces to pounds quick.

    My ninjas started rapping Mobvill and Baz Set. what's better than handling the drug business and rapping. we had everybody in Harlem coping with us. I was doing my thing by writing stories. soon we will have the market fucked up. our crew got next. money coming in fast drugs going out fast. every week like 30thousand. ninjas couldn't tell my ninjas anything. meanwhile, I'm at home coming out in the daytime. my ninjas handling the night side of things. we had shit locked down. the block was lit at that time. everybody like brothers ninjas fight but we get right back together. up and down the block people ran in and out of the block to get work.

    When shit gets hot you get the burner and handle business. ride around looking for who you got beef with. fuck what ninjas think get this money. you better be willing to go all out in this game. the only way to go is to the top. you better get your shit together out here. when the money is low robbing and stealing become a part of your everyday living. you will do anything to put food on your plate right. mask on with the baby nine full clips and one in the chamber. this is how real ninjas get down when their back is to the wall never forget that. everything looks easy from the man that has nothing point of view. he's always down when it comes to doing anything for the money.

    What does it take for a street ninja to get out of the streets? you have to plan yeah first it was the drug game. dealing 24/7 1st ave to 7ave. you know when your name is popping up when the streets and jails talk about you. tell me what the fuck ninjas want from a ninja-like me. yeah, I walk around with that dot in my hand. Damu gets this money and stops worrying about what ninjas think about you. keep your head on getting this money. I was never the type that talked about all of the cars and clothes and jewels I got because I don't have that. I'm from the mud where when it rains ninjas get wet. so never cross me when you speak to me about crossing me use status.

    When you're in a gang they expect you to be down for whatever. some gang members get money. as for me, I put in work when I was a young soldier and now I'm calling shots. there's a lot of Sex Money Murder that does positive things. take me for example I'm giving back the knowledge that was given to me. nobody wants to die at a young age. the game can and I'm going to say this again you can die from the game. you have to be headstrong with two bullets one on each arm in the form of the cross. the left arm in and the right one out and people wonder why I don't give a fuck. play with God and Jesus if you want. in the come of seven days.

    The dark man X we did business in these streets. whoever says it is not true ask kiss why he said the dog can't beat it Sin. who is the one that put all of your favorite rappers in this game. I ain't playing my money was put into all of these black record labels. what I have blessed myself with let know man take that from us. shit get hot yeah I'm rolling with the punches that the world has thrown at me. the game doesn't change ninjas changed it the same shit just a different day. getting down at any cost out here you have to pay attention to what's going on. if one of your friends dies you are supposed to strike back right. if ninjas tell that's what they call telling and I couldn't go out like that.

    The moves ninjas make can get you in trouble. you have to grind until the day you die. looking in my eyes you see a person that will do anything to stay on top. what are you doing on these streets and selling drugs hustling every day and night? trying your best to play strong if you are trying to stay in this game. when the last days come you will know it. you never let yourself down. try to keep yourself happy and maintain everything that goes on in your life. buying clothes and cars and houses yeah it's fun but when them people come you better have bail money or else you'll go to black justice and nobody want to be there. so stay positive and handle yours to the max.

    When everybody comes together to get this money everybody can eat. it's good to see people putting their differences aside to grow together. everybody needs help in this game. do your thing bro can't knock the hustle. build and plan help people become wiser in this game. it helps the people in need to become more faithful to the code that anyone can get the money together. you take what you see and help others see what you see. HW to BK is a good look that's what I've been saying all this time, ninjas gotta put their pride to the side and learn from one another it's enough money out here for everybody you just have to be willing to get it.

    Murder put your hard hat on before you step to me. yeah, we run the streets and don't get put in the body bag for real. ninjas think I'm playing this that gangster call right. fuck the money it's about who's real in these streets. you made your bed now lay in it. I'm laying down with no remorse feel me. take care of all of that gangster shit you talk about, we got young ninjas ready to ride. sex money murder continues to get this money. that's all I see and trust me when I get on or should I say when I open up my company a lot of people are going to be good. ghost what it hit for peeping eyesight. laid it down and the baby nine let loose at any time.

    You never know what God has in store for you. all of us are getting older and time is passing us by because we're not together. it has taken everything out of me not to get mad at you. you are the queen of this castle. you got a person like me holding my head up. the more I get in touch with myself stronger this relationship will be. please do not count me out with the love I have for you. you are the one that makes me feel good. the last time I felt like this I was a young kid with all of y'all in my life. the more we do for each other the more we will gain from the world.

    The work you have to put in for what you want. you have to gamble with your dreams if you want them to pay off. the only way you can make your dreams come true. you have to pay attention to everyone that's around you. being in this business is hard as hell but you stand up and stand your ground. the way the world is set up you have to grind until you can't grind anymore. the life you want to live you have to protect your hustle at all times. the game does not let it pass you by. you stand as a man and take care of what needs to be taken care of.

                                                               CHAPTER 80

    So I'm cuisine in the seven but I never told. a lot of people can't say that. people get locked up and be out the next week. I'm glad I played the game this way. contact box of condoms locked for safe sex and for hopping the train and that's it. never nothing real bad. trying to stay off the 12 radar as much as I can. all I want to do is get money. lay back and handle my business. street life isn't going anywhere. that's not the time I'm on. watch who's watching you. connecting all of my dots. stay on the low.

    When she loves everything about you. you hold her tight and never let her go. the hustle is real at the end of the day. are you with me for what I can do for you or are you with me because you love me. there's nowhere I will rather be than with you. you help me keep my cool. when times get hard that's why you are my ride or die. there are a lot of men and women in the world but we choose each other. that says a lot about us. we have the same thing in mind and that's taking care of our business, we have a connection forever.

    I had to pop one of these people. what the fuck do I have to do. to be apart from all of this bull shit. I shot his ass and it felt good. I love them but people do not have to call me bad words. my grandmother said that's not my child. so I had everything to do with her. I'm under blood and it's hard daddy. but to get this out of the way. I will come back to you. I do not want anybody else. you make me so happy when I'm with you. I will not do anything behind your back and that means you can not do anything behind my back. I would like to make love one more time. before I leave to go to heaven. 

    But who would I lay down with? the lady that I lay down with. I want a baby by whoever that may be. it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl I will be there. there's a lot of love inside of my heart. I'm waiting for you to bring it out of me. the last time I made love to you I was 13 years old. that's a long time ago. I have been through things and I was fighting to get back to you. people don't know what's going on with us. we had fun inside for a while baby. I wish it didn't have to end. I wish it could last forever baby. I hope that our love is still there. I will not enter anyone inside of our love.

    As hard as it is I'm stacking this paper. dot came back home. I got her for real and are you alright. there's a boy that wanted to be on TV. so he went for a part on a TV show. he got the part of playing a gangster. he had to sell drugs and carry a gun on him. he had a set of boys that was a bad group of kids. they went around robbing people and murdering people. one of the boys goes to jail. we are going to a football game and then we are going to the after-party. a lot of girls are going to be there. it's going to be fun and maybe we will be able to have sex with them and some of them will go home with us.

    You know what that means don't you yes. alright so get your act together. I'm likely to find out what happens. when you go to the heavenly gates. I need my family to be with me and I need my kids. but I need some help do you understand that. the moves we make are good for now. everybody knows I'm working hard. but there's more to do. I will do it until the end of time. for us as a family together is the right thing to do by accomplishing our dreams. there are a lot of big-time drug dealers that watch my back out here. because they know my father. 

    Fuck those other men that have beef with what I'm trying to do. this is for me and nobody else can handle a man's business like I'm going to handle my own. that's why I do my thing by myself. I am going to be the last mother fucker breathing. I hope you know I'm not letting anything go. I'm going to keep getting money. why do you funny style people feel hate in your mind? I must a meant I'm doing my thing on the low and know 12 on my back. so keep handling business that can get you locked up.

    My future holds companies and building for people to work out of. I have to turn everything that my companies stand for into updated items. in the midst of it all, I have to say is for me to stay grounded. help my friends get good jobs to keep money in their pockets. most of all build for a better future with these companies. I figured he has blessed me because of what he knew I could do for him as a man. I can't go out without a fight and the reason I'm fighting is for my family. I need to know help talking to these people out here. talking shit about the kid. I had it up to here with you.

    Killer teen murdering inc where are y'all you and your crew have said nothing since noon-say returned home. everybody had something to say about the kid when I was gone. I promise to raise hell climb to the top of the mountain to find God and guess what he told me that I can do anything that I put my mind to. what more can I do for you in this good life you have prepared. I can't figure this out. why when I left y'all said that people ran me out of town. but when one of you gets popped your hold set breaks up and all of that money came to me by hustling. 

    I got this shit by doing not by sitting around. things that men do to you isn't called for. you need to mess with a real man one that handles his. taking you out is not anything to a person like noon-say. Jesus blesses people that are in his blessing, not people that had something to do with him nailed to the cross. that's why nothing good comes out of it. everything comes from you doing good. to tell the truth when I came to New York City from B-ham. traveling out of town to make drug sales and then I left and went back down south. people got signed to Roc-a-fella records.

    It's always a problem but for me to get involved with that. then what's next somebody gets a body and who goes to black justice right. I'm trying not to get back on my bull shit but they make a man like me get back on his shit. I can tell that you are watching me while I'm watching you. kids are alright and shorty I know that. let's dance and hold hands for a long time. may you help me out with what I'm feeling? this earth is changing days goes by and nothing has changed with you which means you are changing. I get down whenever and for whatever. what can I say that I trust you. well, it's not that many people out there that I can say I trust boo.

    What's your purpose in life well my purpose for life isn't to take but to give what I didn't have and that's my father. not because he didn't want to be there, but because I think they knew who I was. what's the main reason you work so hard I want to set goals for myself and let my kids know that they can do anything they put their minds to. you have to love what you do. so you can have fun doing it. I know by having this dark spot on my hand means I will enter the light and whoever is with me will follow me where I go. I think my heaven is different from everybody else. what I have found out from being out of town makes me believe in Jesus Christ. I know that I can wake his soul up. it doesn't matter if he's in heaven or in life itself. people say he will return and I believe that.

    There's a knock on the door. it's this man named 2say he's a man that's fighting for his business to do better. this one man worked his ass off for his family. making them feel better about themselves. he stops going to school at a young age. he was in these streets. he had his family at a young age but his children's mothers went on taking care of the kids. that they had with him. He was forced to go hang out with his friends go to parties and do things like that. at a young age, he was mad but he didn't show it. drugs became a part of his lifestyle. he also was in this drug game. things became hard for him. I didn't know what my family was doing or what they were going through at that time. in my mind, my family was supposed to be there for me in those hard times.

    I was making money and all of it was going to my girlfriends and their kids. in my mind I am a good father to my kids because everything that they want they get it. it doesn't matter. for the most part, we were a family that had everything. I'm not saying it like that but we were alright. I made sure every holiday we had. I know money isn't everything. I can't understand why the setup was in order but you know what I said about that fuck them and my father's family was with me at a time of need. I promise myself when the time comes I will close everything and anything that they have. if it had to be like that for that problem as people. I know I promise myself that I wouldn't say the N-word but some people deserve it. my whole life without my father but I am a man. people look in different ways to wake me up.

    I can understand what Nas meant in the thug mansion. I can't cry but it's killing me from the top of my heart. you touch down from being out of town without knowing will I be back but who cares about my family that was up there. why do people call their girlfriends hitches? sometimes females make us heartbroken and we can't take that from them, but as long as I got a mother, I will not call you a hitch. Finding myself meant for me to find us as a family. I rather have it this way. I'm God's Body to my kids I do love you. I know when I sent you to school I know some girls didn't like you. but I didn't sin you to school to fight. so wake told me what happen and me being your father got me upset and guess what I handle it like a man. I wonder why people had to die because first come you and you know that.

    I just pray for my death in hands of another person. these thoughts keep coming but my daughter Layla keeps a person like me on the right path. who murdered me you've been making drug deals with the other side. it's nothing new to me. but I got people that get down for me. why do you think you got hit. I meant that my love is strong but not stronger than what was done to me. I meant that hard times came and I had to depend on these streets. it prepared me for what was in these streets. The grind by hustling I don't want in anymore. but I can't get out right now. so I'm handling mine and nobody's going to stop me. performing is that what you want out of everything, yes, I must a meant that Harlem is at its best but I don't respect everyone that's in here don't ask me why. you have to live your life and take care of your dreams and only good will come from it.

    Don't set trip when it's on and that's from the heart. don't worry about that handle yours feel me ESCE. when my death became true handle yours right now and don't worry about anything that you need to be worried about is me. if that's what they won't give them war and don't be scared of them. when you have me right by your side. we can handle whatever it is. you rather be awoken why is it that I'm sleeping because of you. not all but why would I lie and stay stronger than anyone out there. People couldn't hold me down for long. you're right I was out of town. but I'm thinking about the get back. since my drug money didn't ever stop. it doesn't matter if I had to do it hand to hand or keys and pounds coming over here for me. a lot of things don't get to me. when it's about my family then it becomes a problem. the question is where I have been. I'm here now and to do for you is not a problem with me.

    The direction that I'm going in. I hope you are following me because it's the best place that you could be and it's a great place to raise children. out for all that these companies can give me. the act has grown that's what ladies are looking for in a man, not men that just want to use there you know what. having kids isn't a game many kids are having kids. but the question are they ready for what's in store. What crossing me means for them fuck the other side. I saw the south not just visiting it being out there with guns. breaking you down. not where you at. it wasn't that important. it's four told when you ask blank about what we went through but l's knowing it's hot fuck it sent ATF to the house I'm going out in cuffs. 2months isn't that long for me I will do it.  

    Going to the next step thanks to Layla. how can I get out of that check it? just stay focused on home and every moment will help you out. trouble some acting as 2pac will say warning as biggie smalls would say. riding with guns ready to find who we are looking for status is now turned on 101. sex money murder has bones to pick with you. so don't get caught up. Looking from the outside looking inside of the home that I take care of looks good. to fail the way I grew up isn't right for me and you know why. I think I might need help from an angel from heaven. can't count you out what does that mean. I have my angels watching me and every move that I make. a place where there's no fighting or crimes or dying twice, the only thing is coming back to earth.

    Hell can't call me to go down there but me not knowing am already in hell. there are a lot of deaths. people are into too many drugs. as black people, we are showing our kids that the game is alright. I can't believe that they cross me for money. when it wasn't my time to die but you know what you help me because there's a lot of people that praise me. I try not to be out at night because anything can happen. The pain part of my stories is under God. I miss my mother a lot and I will make sure that I see her again. just to be here with me with my writing it feels good to be so far in my thoughts. the path that I was on wasn't the right one. my girlfriends don't want me to sell drugs again wasn't the best move that I made but a lot came from it. like having a lot of money building businesses.

                                                               CHAPTER 81

    This is how you want it I mean problems to all who go against sporty. how many more days do I have to take this from you. you wanted to be on top and that's what you got. I'm working to better my life and thank God for all that I am blessed with because without him this wouldn't be possible. it wasn't just for me to come up. it was for me to get back in my kid's life.

    There was a man. that wanted to be a businessman. when he was young he hustles anyway to get his money. building companies at a young age. when he was sixteen he invested in this one company. the company is doing the best it could do. when it first started. it's like any company he invested in is doing big numbers. he made plans to get his business taken care of at a young age. so he wouldn't have to work that much when he got older. he had dreams of making a zillion dollars. that was the goal that he set for himself.

    This man did everything to keep his business running the right way. when his business first started. he had to go out of town to handle the street business first. on the bus riding down south. he looks like this isn't going to be easy but fuck it. getting down south March 23, 1998. it's hot as fuck just leaving the cold. family members ran up to me to see where my heart at. I ran to the house and they ran after me. running into the house grabbing this big knife and meeting them before they got to the house.

    Then when they found out I was a real person they respected me. first, it started off playing basketball in backyards in the dirt. all of my family members were in a gang. then three of my other family members moved down south where I was at. I started my own set. we had like seven members. we use to travel like 30 blocks to go to the park to play basketball. we started meeting a lot of people down there. they started showing us a lot of love even when they found out we were from New York City, it didn't matter to them. 

    We formed a basketball team together. we started going to other places playing them. in that unfaithfulness started. I hated it because the people I love were wondering what was I doing out there. the girl was from queens. my guess is the rule had it set up. she travel down south. when 50 cents was coming up. I'm like let me get this out of the way. The next thing that happened I got sick and my family was on my mind. On 10/31/2000, I got locked up and when I came home, I knew I couldn't touch another female.

    So going on without having sex. I knew 17 years looked long but fuck it. running around with the wire at all times. my thoughts I have to get back to New York City. hustling every day I was down south handling family business. I had to keep that thing with me. my mind was changing for the better becoming a man is all I wanted to do. knowing I had children on the east coast. yeah, this young man was gambling with his life. it's easy how people forget. what you did for them.

    In this game, you have to bring your game. never let anyone tell you that can't do something. the willingness to hustle got me to this place where I'm able to take care of my family. yeah, it's hard but you have to do what you have to do right. bear with me and I will bear with you. we all can come up at the same time. you never know how hard a person is working until he starts to show what he has. there's no need for people to know what I'm working on. until I want them to know.

    This life we live comes from the streets. anyone that wants to stay in these streets got the wrong idea about what life is. living well never watching for 12 feel me. going to school I wish I went but at that time. I had a family that had to be taken care of with no questions asked feel me. yes, I'm in it but when you make a way to get out of this game is the best feeling in the world. you never know where this game will lead you. make things go your way and stay on your job at all times. one that knows his or her worth. meanwhile, improvement is a must.

    Something just doesn't feel right. maybe she's in another man's arms. how can I get over this? when she promises me the best life if I wait for her. you told me so much and now I'm wondering is it true about what I hear about you. she's my pride and joy. I'm sorry but there's no way we can be together because of who's cheating on me. my heart is at a standstill with these thoughts that run through my mind. I had enough I want to walk out and start over. only God knows how I feel. dear Lord, I'm sending my blessing to you.

    I only want one thing out of life and that's to take care of my family. She's telling me to look at the bigger picture. I like it when you give your all in a bad situation. she brings out the best in me. you make all of my dreams come true. tell me are you feeling me cause I'm feeling you. let's take the next step and that is getting closer to each other. I think about you all the time. I'm trying to give you all of the things that my lady wants. I'm less worried because you are cared for and I'm never giving up on this life.

    If what you are doing is true keep moving on. I'm not here to watch what you are doing out here on these streets. if you want to be with someone else be my guess. she is telling me to calm down ain't nothing happening. am I supposed to believe her? loyalty is hard to come by so if you have someone that you trust take care of them. it's nothing more you can ask for than a woman that does not lie to you. her word is trustworthy yes that's all I ask for. doing that will get you whatever you want. time will only tell if she's the one for me.

    It's like you want to bring the worst out of me. I'm trying to keep a level head. when she moves the way she moves and you know she's cheating. phone calls at night and she's telling me it's her friend in the back of my mind maybe it's my fault. you take my kindness as a weakness. I'm about to get up and find the strength to move on. tomorrow you want me to see your child. I can't figure this out one minute it's this and the next minute it's that. I'm happy to see her but the thought of knowing makes me feel good like yes I know the answers.

    When times get hard you stayed by my side. I promise to take care of you. from this day forward trust me. please do not let me down. what do you want or should I say what can I do for you, the love of my life. you are the only one I see with good intentions. take my hand let's walk down the block smiling at the same time tears are in our eyes. the world is hard but if we pray we will get through it. the heart wants what the heart wants and that's you. follow my lead and I will not lead you down the wrong path trust me.

    Anything is possible when you put your all into what you are doing. when I was out of town. I lost 2 of my friends down there. yes, we were turned up. a lot of people were repping boss stomp. ninjas had a price on my head. ninjas that had money on my head aren't here anymore. walking with this ground beneath me. my brother telling me to handle my business. I'm trying to make all of us proud of what we do. running in these streets. ninjas know the call boil you. that's a calling that we use when we was out of town.

    Come back like Jordan wearing the 45. ninjas play too much you never had her. when she got on the plane it was seven females like the seven sisters in the Ten Commandments. she knew the calling was to come inside of here asap. and she did just that with no questions asked. shorty gave me life and with her. I can do anything in this world I put my mind to. walking from a distance down south got to the beauty shop and barbershop. guess who walks in the door Layla as she walks past me I got right up and walks into the room love at first sight.

    When the blood started at 93. yes, it was hell in New York City. everybody running around with the ox on them. ready and willing to handle their business feel me. it was all a part of the game that we were in. buck fifty was one of the ways that you can get down or 031. either way, you have to go through one or the other. back then everyone wanted to be down with it. streets turning up and one thing females couldn't deny dog unless you had a 101. as for me my 101 was handling her business apart from me and best believe she attached herself to me. where she can never leave me again.

    When you know the street life isn't working. you have to get a job to provide for your family. being in these streets isn't all that it cracked up to be. running from 12 and you never know when 12 coming with that indictment. I'm not trying to go to black justice know time soon. when the connection says you can't get out because we making so much money. you try your best to stay out of the way. when the exchanges are going on. when there's money and drugs ninjas get greedy. what do you tell a ninja that's eating too much to stop being greedy?

    Ninjas have to understand that you handle business with your friends. if everyone handles their business. everything will move smoothly nobody wants to go to black justice. my friend and I trying to get out of the game and get into this rap shit. all my ninjas are nice with this microphone. we all put that work in. you do not always have to be a street ninja. street ninjas trying to get out of the streets. let me tell you one thing we have to take our time with this rap shit, trust and believe it's coming to us feel me.

    Now you know I'm not the type to be played with. moving on don't worry I have no feelings. my heart is blank after my shorty passed away that's why I'm not hanging around ninjas. who set me up maybe I can forgive but it's hard to forget, young ninjas. getting all of this money. Watch ninjas close feel me. when you rest up it's more that's in your corner why not love me when I'm here. the battle is a must and there's nowhere to run. it's deeper than rap with me. yes, I started with nothing and now I'm at my best.

    You should always know your place in these streets. everybody trying to be a boss nowadays. you should know right from wrong while you in this game. strip ninjas with no problem. all of this gangster shit that's going on in these streets but when them folks come please do not start telling. you should always stay in line and mind your business. when street shit happens you keep your mouth closed. you should already understand the street codes. if you do not know them you better learn quickly.

                                                                     CHAPTER 82

    When you are balling can't anybody stop you. you need to stop acting out all of the time. what's the difference between a ninja that gets money and got money. no, I'm not chasing the paper. I'm laying back when it's all over we will see who has the bigger pockets. you have to know how to manage your money. you have to stack and save what you make. just in case you don't know wherever the money coming from. you never bite the hand that feeds you. you control what you want and do not let anyone tell you differently.

    Dealing with a drug empire is hard and it takes a lot out of you. you have to make sure the money is sent to who's supposed to get it. you have to make sure you get the shipment. you have to get it to everyone in the inner cities. you have to make sure you have a strong team that won't brack when 12 come looking. you can't tell your friends. you have to stand tall at all times. this drug dealer said you can't use force. you have to use brains because when bodies start disappearing. that's when 12 dig deep and try to bring an indictment on you and your friends.

    When you been grinding since 1991 a year after my uncle passed away. my heart has been cold from that day forward and can't anyone tell me differently. the hustle doesn't stop watching what's coming in from overseas. when the drugs and money add up there's no way you can be mad at who works for you or the connect that's sending the work overseas. patience is a must and the most important part that you have to have when you are on these streets. yes, I have so much coming overseas and I cannot let 12 lock me up because if 12 do. I might not ever come home.

    What's the plan you might ask well here it is playing both sides can get people missing leading you. you can take a horse to the water but can you make it drink. I'm not calling people out a lot of shit happened to us. when I mean us I mean you lou and coo co and Jamie o. who did the killing well I guess I will never know. it's a Harlem thing. sometimes I think about what I know and if you weren't there you can't talk about it. these others say big up to them. the war has been on since before my time. damn dot let it loose the rain happened one time.

    Meanwhile, I'm sipping on something to drink. she is in the cut smoking a blunt getting high as ever. you know me I'm on my way to see if I can get myself a dance. she was in the club partying like there was no tomorrow. so as I pull up she saw eye contact. she started moving toward me. we met halfway shorty bad as fuck. I'm thinking this is one that I want to take home with me. then I asked her what's her name and she said my name is sexy. I said that's the part of the set that I'm in. and she said for real.

    What's the pressure of the thought of you haven't eaten. that's where the gunplay comes from. robbing people with no remorse being in this game yes problems happen. it's all about what you do when the pressure is on. knowing she wants a baller. not a man that works for his the right way. it isn't enough money in this game. you have to be a kingpin that gets more than 70 tons flying by planes or by trains or by buses or by boats traveling and the shipment coming over to the U.S.A. the only thing I'm telling myself is to handle that time if I get caught.

    Not a day goes by that I do not think of you. you are the rock of this family. letting the kid know that you care about me and that's what I love about you. trust me you make my day go by smooth. wherever you are it doesn't matter what time you call I'm there. how come when I write something you tell me what I'm talking about or should I correct what I am saying. letting me know that you are reading what I am writing makes me feel good. it's times like this that I need a women's touch. you know you are the only one for me. my shorty different I brag different.

    So when you listen to that 2pac shit. you feel like you imitated the other side. whoever is not with you move on. the way I move bomb first we can never do business together. you have to make your moves so you can take care of what your future has in it. the hitches will always be there and I'm not taking shots. I'm quoting a line from New Jack City. I can remember on July 4th me and big tab in the car with my uncle Clyde and driving down the 155 bridge. my uncle stopped and then hangs a man over the bridge then we drive to 8ave uncle lit a firework under the car we almost blew up a bonafide hustler.

    You get this money no matter what's the case. my ninjas telling me so let's do the damn thing. I'm telling them I'm falling back and stacking this paper. you are in the mix with this street life. that's because I'm handling my business for real. you have to be a stand-up man that the streets respect feel me. whatever you do, do it to the max, you might lose sometimes. you might fall but you get right back up and stand on your two feet. that's what a man does, the game doesn't change just keep handling the tasks that are thrown at you.

    I built this empire. I can't let them get involved with what I am doing if you want to do business with them go ahead. no fucking way I'm getting money with people that set me up. connection heard that call and got it to me asap and I'm addicted to getting this money. I'm not mad tell others to get their money. as long as my shorty straight building a company so she shouldn't have to worry about anything. it's a double-take flash that crosses my mind and it tells me. people ain't to be trusted. where do we go from here? I know where I'm going and that's to the top.

    Thinking about what's mine can only mean one thing. it does not mean mine at all. things have to change for the better as a community, no one man can make all of this happen. times are only getting harder for us. we need to stand together as a people and stop killing one another. the more we unite the better our chances are starting a new beginning. yes, have faith strive for what you believe in. and never let anyone tell you differently. we need to stand together as one unit and stop letting people separate us. let's get back to loving each other as a family.

    When friends turned foe and I'm not talking about my ninjas. as I get deep into this movement that's going on. lord, please bless me some more. I know I didn't do everything right as you wanted but I'm here to make up for my mistakes. should I or should I not trust a female. I have daughters to teach what's right I can't afford to make a mistake ever again. you bring me so much joy this life wouldn't be the same without you here on earth. yes, it was hard but I overcame the life that I used to live and fuck the world until I'm gone.

    The thought of me and you raising our children together. there's nothing in the world I wouldn't want to do but be there for you and my family. I know it's all or nothing, she's telling me enough is enough. God's watching over me and the lady that controls this life that I'm in. the way she looks at me tells me she wants what's best for me. spending time together that's all she wants from me and who am I not to give it to her. eye contact is a must undress each other minds now that's what I'm working on.

    All I can say is do your best, stay out of the way, and please do not hustle backward. know you are at your best. going out all fucking night know I'm just playing, what's on my mind is this writing that's the way I hustle. yes, you can say what you want to say about me. I'm never changing up my ninjas will stay my ninjas. I can't wait until this is over. my ninjas stay rolling deep in these streets. S.M.M. at the end of the day we are a money gang feel me if you ain't about getting money stay out of my way.

    When you deal with people that you get money with it makes the trust better and stronger. staying in this game yes it's hard but the grind is what I love about it. you stand up and make what you have the best that you have and never let anyone take that from you. showing off to the people that love you the most. always looking out for you and you looking out for me. you the best thing that ever happened to me, you are my strength the way we talk every night is a blessing. yes, we can move at your pace, I'm never rushing you.

    So if you say I’m one in a million. I foresee every single thing you did for me. you treated me you trick me into believing you are by my side. oh, you are not by my side you are inside of me. my world is inside out and this works for you to have my back to the wall right and you telling me how else you are supposed to move forward. I always listen to you because you tell me what I want to hear and you make things come true for me and that’s why I believe in you. you always were my go-to girl all right.

    For someone to give the other person options. it's your choice if you want to be on these streets. holding onto something that wants to run the streets. isn't a good look for me. I want what's best for you and that's why I'm giving you options. I want to make sure your life is as easy as it could be. Watch your every move asking me what time I'm getting in the house. I like it when you keep me posted on what you are doing, thank you for telling me your moves. am I wrong for expressing what's going on in our life?

    What do I plan on getting out of this work? one a better future for you and me and our children. working hard means putting in the time that needs to be put in. and having gratitude. overcoming anything bad that the devil put in your way, always listening to what God has to say. planning at all times. growing day by day with your family. taking care of your responsibilities, taking action for what you do. manning up and never looking down on people. taking the time to understand what your partner is talking about. you and your partner standing side by side.

    Trying to find out what she wants. the best thing for me to do is fall back. maybe I need to try to talk to her. so I can make sure everything is okay with her. you never know what a female is doing. they keep all of their business to themselves. trying to figure out what she likes or should I say what she loves to do if she's not one with you or trying to help you accomplish what you are trying to achieve. let her know how much you love her and show her when you come to an understanding that the world is small. the more you prepare for life.

    You want a baller one that’s going to trick on you, when you go to the club you are looking for a man that’s buying bottles and one that’s in his new gear. check this is what a man is looking for a woman with a phat ass and nice hips and tits looking nice as hell. that combination is what the man and ladies are looking for. what if that man can’t spend his money because it’s in his bank account and his spending limit is low when I want to open up a business and spend the bank account money I can but not yet.

                                                           CHAPTER 83

    Know you better she keeps asking me what I do for money. I handle business why is it so important to you. I’m grinding to put food on the table. you get mad when I stay out all night. I want you to know I’m not sleeping with another woman. I’m in and out of meetings taking care of us. you have to trust me when we first met I told you I’m a businessman. you like all of the finer things in life. you spend whatever your heart desire. I’m working hard every day to keep you up in all of the designer clothes and nice whips and all of the diamonds.

    You know I miss you. this place you put me in being here without you. sometimes I blame myself for you not being here anymore. walking with you on my mind over and over. it seems like it’s taking forever for me to go to heaven to see you. what’s better than having faith that you are waiting for me at the pearly gates up above. when the man upstairs asks me did I cross you. I’m going to look him right in his eyes and say no I didn’t and thank you to God for believing me.

    You expect me to fix the problem when I do everything for you. I ask for little things to get done and it doesn’t get done. taking care of the same people all of my life. sometimes I think about moving on and changing my life by getting women that want to help me handle this business that I have when I ask what do you do for me and you can’t tell me. that means you have done nothing for me. you want me to take care of you and provide what you need right. you can’t just have it your way because there are other people with their lady by their side handling their business.

    Changing a women's mind can be so hard. she feels like I have changed but I’m telling her I’m still the man that she knew when we were young nothing has changed. I respect you I’m letting you know I don’t mind taking care of you. I want to come to the table with work. seeing you yes I want to and you know that I’m trying to follow my heart and stand up for you. my last post is supposed to be me telling you how I’m not feeling. why would I take this away from you? when you are the love of my life.

    Growing up is a wonderful thing. I want to know if you have my back out here. if not remove yourself from my life, this is one of the days that is going down in history. you know you are my queen. please don’t stress me out talking about you walking out of my life, and if so I’m good with that. is she doing her thing and if so I have to find a woman that’s faithful to me. this isn’t a game you better women up understand and be here before other women take your place if I lay down with another woman I’m never looking back for anything except for my daughters.

    Starting a new beginning what you know about sticking by your women's side and your women sticking by your side. this is what we have been doing since the beginning of time. I never want to leave this relationship that we built. I’m all for giving people chances in life. the way you look at me like there’s no other person that can replace me. this is the shit I’m talking about when we trust one another. you have to compromise with each other. you know that I’m putting my all into this relationship.

    Love what you know about connecting to someone's soul. this is what I and Aaliyah my middle name is Elijah and people believe in Allah and I have this dot on my hand. if you do not believe the connection that we share that’s on you. I wonder why this has to be true in the third eye that I have in my hand. people say Jesus sits on your hand because you put your hands together when you pray right. I thought so if this isn’t true tell me what it means. holding this love that I have for you. I’m only messing with females that you trust.

    The only problem I have with this is putting you in the position that you were in. if people just tell the truth about why groups broke up and people's money stopped. yes, it’s because I came back home and it was only right. I couldn’t get money and had all of these distractions going on. Harlem had to be quiet while I concentrate on my work. people say everyone sticks together. the setup was real and I can’t forget it. putting my baby next to him, if it was real why in every picture your next to me next too because it’s not true.

    Speculation this is why this man has to stop giving anything to whoever crosses me over money. You stand strong if you look deep into what I am saying, Noah look let me break this down take the on out of Ellison and take the ah out of Aaliyah that’s the connection that I was talking about. Do you think it’s a game I can go all the way with her by my side? you showed me so much and it only gets better. the one that I trusted isn’t here anymore or should I say she’s inside of me.

    The cheating part is over. the only reason I went out was that you told me you wanted me to get my wings so I can fly to heaven. imagine me without my wings what direction was my life headed when I pass over. she helped ease the pain right, you have to be down to earth for you to become one with the sun. I’m never giving up on you I know I will see you when I’m at the crossroads. my whole life depends on you because I will never look at another woman the way I looked at you. maybe one day you will send me a special woman but until then my love is for you.

    Baby don’t go when you came to my house, you had the ox in the mouth and spit it into your left hand and slash me on the face. I ran to the store and got a band-aid and put it on my face. I never thought about nailing another female. when you told me I have to go out and handle my business. I thought you were leaving me. now I see it for what it’s worth. you did this for us coming back inside your rib. I understand sister you wanted to keep me covered while I’m out here on these streets.

    I’m only human so you have to take your time with me, growth yes it’s a wonderful thing. all of this time I put in my life but if I didn’t put this time in who would’ve. I want to keep going if God let me keep writing I will continue to let my mind be blessed. you wait for this relationship to approach then you will appreciate it and you wouldn’t have to apologize for anything in this world. through my ups and downs, this is what made me the man I am today and I will remain this man until I go to the other side.

    You were right and I was wrong, I know the time has caught up to me but I want you to take an easy and think about what you are going to do to me. I want this to go away and never come back to me. I made my bed and now I have to lay in it. all of these feelings are in my heart because you are thinking about leaving me. I’m trying to get things right back where they were when we first started it takes a lot of patience and dedication on my part and trust me I’m working on it right now.

    Being strong you travel through life not knowing what God has in his plans for you. so you take the tasks that he has given you and when you look up you will see all that he has blessed you with. you know the ends and out to life never fails and stand strong, you should always want to better yourself. your best bet hustles the right way, so your family can sleep at night. you should love your life and make moves that your family appreciates. you have a long way to go, so play the game the way you are supposed all right.

    All I need is for you to make my mind and soul feel some type of way and I don’t want to let this feeling go. I can be your Noah and you can be the queen that walks with me. life and death exchange three times and I’m still here with you. I will not let anything come between us, you are a lady in the streets but get real nasty in bed. this is the type of woman I’m looking for and she said you don’t have to look anymore I said all right when times get hard will you be by my side and she said yes.

    You learn valuable lessons as you get older, I don’t want women that depend on me to do everything. if I’m making the money she can use some of it to invest it in multiple companies to bring money into our business. one that is well educated and know how to be a woman. I’m all for working hard and including her in my business moves. this way if anything happens she will be responsible to take care of our family. I know it’s been a long time since I had sex with anyone but I’m looking for the right one to build with.

    Sitting here trying to make up my mind on which way to go. I’m trying to figure out if I want to stay here in your life. this hasn’t been easy I put my all into this relationship right I know that you want this to work right or if not walk out now. who can tell the way our life will end up if we continue to fight. you got me looking crazy I need a break to sort out my feelings because it feels like this isn’t what you want, I hope you make up your mind. this is the path that the kid has taken and it seemed like it was a good idea but I guess I’m wrong.

    Changes you have to be willing to put your life on the line for others. this is what a man would do to bring our brothers together. this thing called writing helps my mind release stress. this is how I get my point across, and if you can’t understand that. it’s like us coming together is hard but guess what if we do we will see more and a better outcome in life. why sit here and act like we are helpless. this is when we are supposed to wake up but guess what we are still sleeping if one mind can overcome then guess what we all can.

    I have to look for women that keep a man guessing what’s under her clothes. One that I can take home to my mother. as a man, I have to be real picky about the women I want to spend the rest of my life with. there are thousands of beautiful women that keep her self faithful. I can’t make you change but I have to look carefully. settling down giving another woman half of what I have. when she feels like she wants to walk out she can. you have to make good choices when it comes to picking a woman.

    Seeking someone to be in a relationship with should be the easiest thing in the world but nowadays females look for men with money. that’s a lot of females' downfall because if you look for love you will find happiness. halo when I was with you. the disrespect that went on that day. I’m trying to make this right but what if you left me. where do I start how many times we could make love? I know you weren’t ready because we were young and now we are grown and I know things have changed.

                                                          CHAPTER 84

    You are not going to give up at no time. try to acknowledge you are the one that wants more out of life. you should stand firm you should stand in your spot and never let anyone take that from you in this game you can pass away or go to black justice. people get locked up for basically nothing, you can be at the wrong place at the wrong time. you have to watch who you are around. you should want to make a mark in this game. how can you come to terms and realize that street life isn’t popping anymore?

    So this chicken thinks I’m playing with her. how about you can’t get anything else from me. she thinks she got a young player on the ropes but I got a trick for her ass. where am I at the call was for what and the excuse be you had along day? hitch please I want some sex you better watch who you mess with because I’m not the one for playing games. I’m telling you and her half-ass female you better get a job. this is only the beginning you are a straight-up pigeon and this go for all of y’all put some respect on my name.

    You have to do everything to keep people out of your business. so yeah you hide things that you don’t want people to find out. you keep things a secret but if you watch you will see that man getting money. I prefer to stay out of the way. some people want fame and as for me I just want the money. so my family and friends will be good. this is what you get from working hard. you are obligated to take care of the people that support you. you make moves to improve your goals.

    Time will show itself you just have to let things play out. I’m wondering what he’s sitting there thinking or what the people he’s down with is thinking. when shit goes left y’all looked at me like I’m the enemy. so for those that turned their back on me over some shit that was setting me up fuck you. people didn’t have anything to say when people put money on my head. if it wasn’t jealousy one person got a deal and another one turned up, and yes it was lit now when I look back on it. it was for what to prove you are that person that calls shots.

    Three the hard way if AI and EI hook up it’s going to be some real shit then you throw Bleek in it. Rest In Peace prodigy I have the eye of the tiger. this is just us handing our BI in these streets. know all of us come from nothing and made something out of nothing. so yes we are thankful for what God has blessed us with. the grind doesn’t stop when we all connect it’s going to be big. this is a true orientated family. we make moves as one so nobody’s above the other and what brothers do in these streets tical.

    I hold back so many tears crying no more over the loss of you. my body is a temple and it belongs to Jesus. I’m just here temporarily thanks to God for letting me use this flesh. give your all to her and she will give her all to you. what about the lies that one tells. yes, I will pick you up because the love is there. I’m only one man that’s trying his best to be one with the lord. I want to show you that anything is possible if you put your mind to it when you fall that’s another reason to get back up on your feet and try again.

    The year 2000 October 25 I got locked up and didn’t get out until November 4th, 2000. when I was in black justice I was handling this business. when I got out I never touched another female since then and now we are 23years later. I want you to know I did all of this for you. this blood shit ain’t no joke. who want to be locked up behind bars. whoever left the kid like I wasn’t going to get back on my feet. shit, I worked hard for this and I’m reaping the benefits from my action. I want everyone that stood here by my side thank you so much.

    When you want things to go your way but it goes another way. this shit got me pissed off because I’m drowning myself in work but what I want in a relationship. is all of this money doesn’t mean anything without you next to me. the grind is still on for those who don’t believe me. I’m putting up numbers so I can rest easy when I get older. please stand your ground. you know you will never understand what a female is going through nowadays when you respect her you will do everything to keep her happy. so man up and handle your business.

    Substantial being wealthy means the world to me. I know whenever I’m ready to play with the money I can. you build this much wealth so you are proud of your accomplishments. you have to remain the same and the way you remain the same. you have to change your way of living not the way you think. my family keeps me sane and I’m talking about being mentally stable when your mind thinks all day about writing songs it becomes your hobby.

    One thing I want to share, I know it’s possible having a child with another woman can turn this relationship upside down. the reason that has to be talked about is that if you know my story. this is the time g unit was on the rise, yeah I had enemies but through diversity. I owned up to it by telling you and I just want you to know this is another reason the women of my dreams came inside of me. the slash opened up the seven seas cleaning my body and it felt great.

    Hostility please don’t yell at me. I know you are upset about the way I was treating you. this is my apology to you. you know the pain of not knowing, she’s so far away from me thinking God wanted her next to him. the feelings I have about that. let me put my clothes back on and then the next day I had to turn the water on. that’s the beginning of the time when I started to straighten everything out and put things in perspective. growing up as a man-made my family looked at me differently.

    Letting her go is not going to happen, this person has the heart that was found out of town. if we don’t do something right now our children may suffer. let me do my job and take care of you. she made up her mind to enter my soul and be one with me. what more do I have to show you, dying outside but inside I’m fine and to worry about my future now that’s on my mind. you call me when you see a change in life. I replied you got me going in this maze and only you can fix this. so I guess I see you when I get to the other side.

    By showing the one you love that times may get hard. people do not understand what I’m going through. we love one another. getting mad may take the time away from us making love to each other. all I know is yes we can come together. this heart hurts. I want you to know I’m feeling the pain from you not being here anymore. we are supposed to be grown. females cheat and males cheat too. if this is not the case we will be together for a long time. you always find something for us to fight about and I can’t take this anymore.

    Hanging around Harlem back in the days. yeah, you had it locked young please I’m not talking about that. so don’t think I’m speaking on it. when we were young and in one another life. at school asking, you are you all right and that will never happen again. I should nail you buying you whatever you need back then. I want to keep this feeling going on and on. seeing you walking with your little man wondering if he’s mine. so going through murder and thinking did doctors take the love that was inside of me with this dot on my hand anything is possible.

    So here I go again going back on my word. I am getting so tired of this not knowing. I have to prepare myself for the worse and all she can say is to trust her. I don’t know what I want to do, the only thing you have to do is tell the truth about your whereabouts. trust me I’m holding on but holding on to what. I can’t take this back and forth. why am I getting upset I’m supposed to be doing my thing but instead, I’m thinking about the one I miss. I know changing her soul into another woman yes it’s hard.

    Aggressive so where am I if you time $755 by 12years= $108,720. this is where I'm at. you can't fuck with me. this day means the world to me. I'm steady building for us I hope nothing changes with us. if I have to look for another female think about all she will have. you know I'm on it to the fullest. I'm making away for us to eat for life, you hold me down. 123 it's a straight shot to the crib. you made the money I'm just getting the blessing. Sheba, I'm following the rules.

    Modifying the way I love you, you always make me wait to touch you. you know I want to get next to you. you are so smooth and sexy baby you are the best. no man can ask for someone better than you. you treat me so wonderful. I can imagine how you look right now. I'm over here waiting for you to tell me when I can come to see you and I know you have a big bottle of something to drink and a lot of blunts and you got your whip. on the contrary. you are better than being in these streets.

    Digital underground when you have music on the low the people that think you are street smart but you are intelligent in your way. I think going independently ain't so bad but having a machine behind you. you can show your talent to people across the world. albums have to have great numbers and the streams can be amazing, you also have to have a lot of downloads. that's the only way you are going to see money from your album. please take your time writing tracks.

    I'm trying to put money up for my children's future. so my kids will have it if I'm not here anymore with all of the investments I have I know my children will be taken care of. I say this is a beautiful place to birth children and raise children. so when people ask me how I do it I'll say it's for them. putting this in their life makes me an awesome father to my children. I started from the bottom just like everyone else having children at a young age made me into a man and now I stand here proud.

    In telekinesis, it’s hard to read other people's minds. so you will never know what I’m thinking and I will never know what you are thinking. that’s the beauty of thought you have to release it out of your mouth for someone to know what you are thinking. trying to mold a person how you want them to be can be so hard nowadays. you have to find people that are on the same path that you are on. fighting for someone to respect you will take all of your energy trust me.

                                                            CHAPTER 85

    Potential you have to believe in the work that you apply to your career. you have to understand not everyone going to believe in your vision. the beauty of having your thoughts makes you different from everyone else. treat your goals as your priority. when you learn how to write songs, you engage in writing every day. that’s how I feel about my work and you also have to take your time. you have to overcome any obstacles that may come your way.

    You fight and fight but sometimes you have to walk away from the situation you are in. giving too much and nothing is giving back to you. thinking one thing but another thing happens. this is why I keep her close to me. who can you trust when you are in this game? there are so many people gambling with their life. trust me I’m not upset it’s the principal. when you have the right to move you will move on. the issue that you have should be no more and if it continues it’s on you.

    The way you come to an agreement both sides have to take responsibility for one another actions. if I tell you something to get an answer from you. what am I supposed to think when I don’t know anything, the way I miss you? you made my life complete. dancing around feelings and not letting the other one know. Do you think I can read minds? how many kids do fathers have and if it’s not true the pain? undressing what’s going on in the mind of one that can’t hold on anymore.

    The pride you can be the most giving person in the world and things still can go the wrong way. getting out of any bad situation helps you and gives your mind relaxation. sometimes my mind goes through different stages in life. that’s just me becoming a man. I have to look directly into my child's eyes. starting help but it doesn’t fix the problem that you have. to fix a problem you have to address the problem first. what one doesn’t know won’t hurt him right. the way people think or should I listen to what is the truth and move on?

    I drop hits on any track I put my lyrics on, you better get down or lay down. I ain’t here to cause no problems. I have to get the money one way or another. building an organization can be so hard right if you put your mind and zoom down on what you want it will happen. this shit ain’t nothing to fuck with sporty. digging deep down and coming up with this company I appreciate the love that I get. I promise to keep moving forward and never look backward decimal.

    Privacy is clear ninjas lock and load until the death of us. uncle, you don't know how much I miss you. I think this is the reason why I am the way I am sitting in the car with you before you passed over. I don't think I have been right ever since that happened and what makes it worse? the Apple company is building across my heart and I'm going all out if you were here shit would be different and people wouldn't be playing. so I'm here keeping up the rules that we are supposed to live by.

    Coward, you have to man up and take care of my children. I remember ladies use to be at my house 4 at a time I was enjoying my life when I was younger, this was before I was a teenager. I know they had my best heart when I see your feelings come back and I just want you next to me. I can't get over the feelings I have for you, she doesn't put it down like you. I'm telling you your friends is always in our business. you make me want to find out what it hit for nope I'm just playing.

    Opponent Rocafella Still A Company And Hitch I'm Still The Boss. I had an appointment when I was young but Aaliyah told me not to go sign for the company. she told me to meet her in the Bronx or was it in Bk. if I was there fam wouldn't have no say so in the company. I'm out of town and she's in town how come no pictures showed her kissing you and the one when you tried to kiss her? she's ducking you because she knew if she would kiss you. it will be a problem between me and her and her daughter.

    Inspiration I want my children to look up to me. I want to be their role model, I want to let them know anything is possible if you put your mind to it. please don't get caught up in these streets. I know you know better than that. put it down how was the joke did it make you laugh hard you should make your stomach get big and have my baby if I make you smile that hard. you can go down on me or me going down on you or just do a 69 when it's our first time pleasing one another.

    Swahili you are irreplaceable so don't think for one minute that you are not to the right. I'm telling you I will never put you in that position losing me. I can't sit here and take everything from you. this is a relationship for both of us to respect one another. I had to hold my head up the time I had to walk out and yes it hurts me. this time I promise to do my best to make you feel special always. I put this on blood feel me. losing you isn't an option and I need the opportunity to prove it to you.

    Eloquently to the smile you have on your face right now nothing makes me feel better than that if I buy you shoes and clothes and nice whips and big houses. everything that you see you can just purchase it on my shorty. taking you out let me upgrade you. oh, that's what I did for you and now you're balling all over the world. what do you know about your man having all types of money meaning different paper from all walks of the world? this here is a businessman.

    Tragedy when something happens you just want it to go away but I got this feeling in my mind and heart. you saying offering you a drink your pass. I was trying to get you to come over to my house and get faded with me. we could've popped that bottle. I even had a roach clip for you, you could've got high as fuck. I'm tricking like the offer still stands. all of this shit you talk about I can't wait to see if you are telling the truth. I will even pay for a dollar cab for you to get over here.

    The attitude you have to make up your mind. you made your bed now you have to lay in it, you can't be mad at sporty thieves. you should've stopped a long time ago. why I do not listen you warned me about the situation I was getting into but who cares? you gain so much lost a little bit or should I say it in Latin. you tell me how you say a little bit. my fight is to be bigger than anyone but spread love. how many people can say you didn't do good by them and if they say that they're lying alright?

    Playboy when you play with female emotions. you will regret it before you feel any type of way gets your money. this is coming from the top game player. you only see what you want to see. seek in time when the money runs out we are to come together to get that bag. watch what you say to keep the peace out here but if you feel the pain you don't think about what you say. only a man can hold his own in these streets. you never know who wants to get at you. when you are playing this game you play it to the fullest.

    Society running the block all my ninjas got that work. you know this is a full-time hustle all day all night. if you want this money get on your grind. I respect the gangsters but the gangsters are out here taking care of their families. Make sure everyone eats off of this plate and nobody's left out of this thing we call family. you can't get upset about what you have. play your part and handle your business like no other feel me. it's like I'm at the finish line but can't cross it. that's all in my dream.

    Scripture was written by who. this is my scripture and I hope people like it. you are the only mind that has enough strength to be guided by the man upstairs and nobody can tell me differently. this is for those that crossed the kid if the dot is true. the rain happened numerous times, you think thunderstorms and hurricanes did something. feeling the raff from the man itself is nothing to be fuck with. I had to go deep inside of my soul and figure a way out of these streets.

    Realistic let's be serious who's going to leave the mic without hot lyrics? you have to be relevant in this game because if you do not you can lose everything that you work hard for. I can't think back I have to keep moving forward. working every day is a blessing and I thank God. I'm settled with what life has given to me. the only thing I know is I'm getting money and nobody is going to take that from me. you lose some and win some but you live to fight another day. you have to live for today like it's your last day here on this earth.

    Abstract to take the place of a word idea by making it the same idea but using a different word. the freedom to do what you want. succeed and accomplish what it is you are trying to achieve. making away for your family to have a better life out here. morales have to stand for something in life. always take your time in life do not rush anything. be passionate about your goals. and have faith that one day you will transition into this God-fearing man.

    Intimidate when you have to watch yourself because people will force you to do something that you don't want to do. having your mind when that happens there's nothing no one can say to you. you have the right to fight and the right to overcome things. I'm so happy taking care of my family. I grab my arm telling you whatever you are doing I'm here to make sure you don't cross me. I'm working on getting you where you need to be even if it takes my life. I'm willing to do trust me.

    The concrete you have to keep still and never make moves out of fear. you have to be well awake and handle business as it comes. you should always move as you see fit for someone like you to move. pay attention to your surroundings. hold your head up, and never put it down in the line of fire. the most important grind you have is being on top of your game. playing both sides can and will get someone hurt. you have to show what you are made of in these streets. this shit doesn't stop you keep getting money.

                                                              CHAPTER 86

    Performance you should love what you do. you should take pride in your achievements and play the game to the fullest. the one thing that you should do is make plans to better yourself. what if you only have one shot at this? you better make it your best shot and take chances. you should never bow down and always act on what you are prepared for. the goal is to overcome in the eyes of the beholder. make sure you move the right way and always maintain being a stand-up guy.

    Calculate your steps so you know whatever is going on in this cold world. you have to be a monster out there. the way you live straight thug in, your eyes have to be wide awake if you plan on going far in life. it's nothing to take an L. it always depends on how you get back on your feet. understand there are rules to the game and you have to play it to the fullest. if you are going to go out like a soldier. people never understand how one feels about life until you show them that life isn't fair.

    Identification now that I know the truth I can move on. I shouldn't worry about what was done I should try to focus on the future. I have to use my mind for good and not evil, getting money is only one stepping stone for me. I'm trying to keep ninjas around me rich. if every one of your friends is getting the money your team is full of winners right? look-see watch then acts it might take time for you to observe everything but when you find out it wasn't what it was supposed to be you will feel better like the feeling I feel right now.

    The theme you have to write about is something you know. you can't have words all over the place with no storyline. you have to make sure each part connects to the story. that shit right there is hard as fuck but when you love writing you will make sense and the stories will come out just fine. you want the readers to understand what you are saying as if they were in the story when you are a StoryTelling you have to guide the audiences so the suspense of the story knocks them off of their feet.

    Demonstrators I'm showing you that you mean the world to me. I remember when you said this is your goal into my goal. people might say the eye of the tiger has something to do with your departure when I look at our daughter how can I tell her that you gave up your life to help me out when I first saw her I had all red on and a plain red bandanna. looking in her eyes like give me two weeks and I will be in your heart by slashing your temple but her mother is five deep inside me.

    Distraction you can't get out of your character at no time and I repeat at no time. you can't look the other way when something occurs or you can stand up and take action on the situation. you shouldn't have to turn your back for something wrong. you should always stand forward. people like to ignore what they see when they see something happening not me. speak up if something's wrong, you shouldn't be ashamed of telling the truth about what's right. 

    The best part of waking up is knowing I'm waking up with you on my mind. the respect I have for this woman is the highest form of respect you can have for a person. putting things together is a blessing and you let me put this together. you not rushing me to get upset with me because it has to take this long. you are not disappointed in what the outcome feels so much better than you yelling at me for taking this long. God's plan takes time. we all have to be patient and always remember that okay? I'm just letting my family know I'm sending my love.

    I'm interested in what you want out of life. staying humble can get a person messed up in this game. I'm going to make sure my team wins always. I'm not falling know time soon and if that happens I'm getting right back up. how can you impress me and how can I include you in what I am doing out here? the thought of losing you isn't something I want. so stay close to me and find out what I want you to know. There’s no half-stepping incarceration happens to all of us. you have to fight to stay out here on these streets.

    Accommodate what if she's out there sexing whoever that will put me on blast but I can't get mad at who she is sleeping with. tricking damn she said she wants millions in her account. she told me she wants general toast chicken. so that's what I'm going by until I find out something different. cube in the midst of all of this bull shit and I'm not talking about you like that. the trust should be there. what were the long talks about yes my mother telling you everything knowing the respect is there.

    Persevere when shit gets difficult you stay true to who you always was right with. I want you to know that I'm here for the long run. on 25 street shorty what else do you want? I'm making a way for us to eat. I have to be tamed and Aaliyah has to tam me. she's the only one that keeps me in check out here. when that shit went down my heart broke apart from my heart. I know you are watching my every step and that's what I love about you, please stay with me. so I can be on my p's and q's.

    Compensation if your life depends on getting money that's what you do until the money runs out. planning your moves as your moves come. I know my shorty is watching me from the sky. this is what we planned to have one another back out here. as I look back we did a lot of things and now I'm moving forward until I see you again. a man that can't see he is just blind. you have to hold your ground at all times. I'm clutching my daughter baby the way we miss you but I know you are in the hands of the beholder. 

    Conspiracy you can get locked up for someone that planned a hit but that person is long gone. yes, it amazes me a long time ago people wanted the kid out of the way. it got me feeling like 50cent and 2pac at the same time but I think PAC knew that biggie didn't have anything to do with that, the reason I don't mess with people is that people tried to get rid of me and now I'm fighting to better myself. people that you were cool with sometimes will turn on you. this has nothing to do with being a gangster but I can't forget the past.

    In conclusion at the end of the story, it's all about the next step. you feel like I'm supposed to take care of everything you need. what about doing it for me once in a while? yes I work hard if I knew this was going to be like this I should've kept my wife and now I'm looking at people differently. you only look for me when things get tough, what about helping one another out? when was the last time you did anything for me, I'm waiting for a response. this is supposed to be a 50/50 relationship.

    Infamous you have to be a drug lord to compete with what I'm trying to do out here. how long do I have to wait for a shipment to come in. if 12 wanted me it would've happened already. rest in peace brother just sitting here thinking about you right now. know for some people life just goes on. your presents will always be felt feel me. the hustle doesn't stop the grind keeps going on and I promise to stay on my job with these writings. I want to build as much as I can build. loose ends follow corruption.

    Gangstafied 50 you know I'm still with the shits. carry that shit on me all of the time. this black baby nine how many shots 16 in the clip and 1 in the chamber that's 17 shots. when you look into my eyes please tell me what you see. never let up feel me. the cross happened to me when it was happening to you, my gun stays off safety. my dot will go inside of another person's body and slash his or her ass feel me. this is for you know who. the game doesn't stop for anything never less or should I say more or less.

    Stimulation is the inner body connected to your life. you sure know how to make me feel good. you have to stimulate your mind l's how do you get high no I don't. so sit back while I spark this blunt. what are you smoking on that Cali? I think I can stimulate my mind by getting something to drink. so I started getting faded. I can feel the connection in the room. we have to see if the chemistry is good and yes it was excellent on my side. what about on your end if everything's on the up and up that's great.

    Yes, I dare to come to you and tell you how I feel. I know we are supposed to be together right now but I want to make sure when we start being together. we are together for all of the right reasons. like having everything that a couple needs. baby I'm working and trust me cheating isn't an option for me. yes, I miss you with all of my heart. I'm home thinking about you. every move I make I make thinking about you. you are my everything and yes I want you to know that you are all that I have.

    You are absorbing all of my energy and my emotions run deep for you. please keep it wet if you are dry inside it might burn me. that's just me in and out of you all night long. this is what you get all of these rose petals all over the bed. two bottles of champagne are also next to the bed and slow music playing loud so nobody can hear you screaming at the top of your lungs, all I want is you. baby, yes I have been on my best behavior waiting patiently for that loving. feeling on that body oh my God.

    The consequence is like a pressure that you can't get over. the pain you go through trust me family it's not about having sex right? let's get this business taken care of. when you have so much on the table you will do whatever it is you have to do. by the way. knowledge is power and you have all of the knowledge. I understand you are keeping busy by educating yourself. this is what I speak of. one day all y’all will run this company.

    Distinctive taking from others and giving it to another person on a positive note you have to think about what you do to someone. let's act like this is make-believe and you had one wish when I want your love watching the lady die right in my arms. I know you are still alive but that shit turned me out blood was all I saw. this is when I started going out. the only problem is an apple with four slashes. I still think about that day every day. but what if she's out there loving someone else? 

                                                                       CHAPTER 87

    Into action when two people come to an agreement that life is what you make it. you have a sense of the game so it's no longer a game. you start to see things in a different light now your eyes are opening up to bigger and better things that life has to offer feel me. you shouldn't be subjected to one way of living. use your head and make good decisions out there. if there's something that you want to do believe in it. God might not give it to you right away because God wants you to put the groundwork in first.

    Suspense is like a rush that I can't control when I'm with you. I wonder if you are the one for me. this is me telling you how much I care about you. planning for our future we will see if this is going to last. seeing everything that God has planned for me. I hope you see what I see in life. you have to start from the bottom and then rise to the top. you can't have everything handed to you. flying coast to coast when it's cold in NYC flying to where it's hot. that's what you do pay for complimented by yours truly.

    Drastically the pain you can't overcome. you have to put business and personal feelings completely separated. having feelings for something that was just business will not affect the way you view your life. everyone makes mistakes maybe it's my past that came back around to me but knowing it was I prepared for it. so it didn't hurt as much. your life is designed to be phenomenal. you always have to take the bad with the good it's a part of everyday life like I always say you always have to fight. 

    Personified what the world has in it and why. if you ask me the man above created every living thing that's in this world. you start to realize that when you get older and life starts to get difficult. people turn to the Bible to answer their prayers. reading the Bible not yet I can't understand it but the Bible for teens now that's something I understand. you have to be an outstanding listener and be out spoked. carry yourself like you are a king and queen.

    Love is life and life is living. last night I heard nothing. anything for your love. if you remember something. please call me. is there anything I can help you with? I love you. I miss you. they got married on a hot summer day. today it is very hot! I feel good when I'm with my nice friends.

    Love is a mystery I feel love in the atmosphere and nobody can take that from her. what a sense of humor she has everything she does is eye-opening and nothing is negative everything is positive. you make me feel better Timbo. trying to create a female from scratch is hard but I guess it's a Harlem thing. I want to go all out but I know I have to protect myself from others. shorty came to holla at me and everything was fresh and clean on me. let me know what's going on in this life we live.

    I want to live a constructive life and live on a positive note. let's put this day down in the books. you have to teach her to take her time and you help her grow into a woman. whatever I can do trust me I will do if you are looking for your better half trust me it's me, all of the time I want to holla at you when I see you but my heart is telling me to help you out. yes, I'm taking a chance with you how am I supposed to know if you are the one for me? forget this I'm going to let this play out and see where this goes.

    So you telling me if I shoot first. this is for all of the people that are doing time. you have to follow the way black justice people live. yeah, get your gun if I get pop best belief this dot is going off or the blood handling my business to whoever it may concern. Blood isn’t a joke and now we have blood in NYC, this connection came from me I took trips on the i95 feel me. I'm watching friends turned foe unless people set me up. I can't ever forget that you know my model if it's war then it's war people die every day b keep getting money.

    It's obvious but jay might not be on these streets. let's go back to 1997 beefing with people I'm reaching Pete is that sex money Murda? I don't want to get out of line but when that shit went down. shorty rings my bell and I came downstairs to see what was popping. she told me that jake was looking for me. so I skip town if I would've stayed I might be doing time like 100years. people might say this has nothing to do with it. Esce mean Ellison and Shawn Carter Elijah. yes, I have money in Roc nation.

    My prerogative to love who I am going to love. so seeing you yesterday was incredible for me. knowing the day before I showed a picture of TLC what about your friends and you met me in other words you came to holla at me. you know it's all about you and I hope you didn't text you know who and tell her that you saw me and if you did you text her and tell her it's war until one of us comes together. meaning any of us because we are all the same love.

    Put it on me. when you have gratitude for someone. you seem to do anything to keep that person smiling. if I should die tonight I know my family will be taken care of and that's all I wanted. praise God for a bit we have to live our lives until we go to heaven and I'm heaven-sent fuck shaving points. this shit will last forever so I'm keeping everyone close to me. looking back on life my motive was to provide for us. I'm not taking no for an answer. half and half of us make a whole and I'm fighting for this.

    Catalog please tell me what you want. she's telling me yes she can get freaky. I'm asking her if the head was nice she said yes and the cat was nice too. I said where do I start first. she said I fuck with ninjas that are getting money. I told her my money is different. she said what you mean bout that I said my apple company is worth $2 trillion and $800 billion. if you are not sure check the dot on my hand and put that document on the table then she said since you can provide it for me? I'm thinking about giving you a chance. 

    It intensifies the way you look at me. people change every day. I need a woman that will protect me. that's what I miss about you and nobody can change that. you showed me so much in life. what about giving up your life to help me out? I remember that like it was yesterday to reason and turning waking up at 5:00 in the morning. on the seventh day. I turned the gun that I had and put it to my right eye but didn't pull the trigger because I knew I had our child to take care of.

    The essence of a strong relationship is that it has to last forever. the things you have to do to keep the spice in a relationship. you have to come up with new sexual activity in the bed, you have to be willing to try a lot of different positions and you have to be willing to make love when it's necessary. all I want to do is please you and never let you go. how will all of this come about? both of you have to be willing to sacrifice time and effort. who said this was going to be easy.

    If a female catches my eyes. she has to be a very special lady in my life who loves God more than she loves herself. when God created you he broke the mode when you were born. please do not let anyone tell you differently. you are the second person he created I'm first if we go underwater I'm the fish and you are the crabs. the three of us live underwater. the thought of you and her leaving me triplet will break apart. so if there's someone else you want please let me know. yes, mam that's how you talk to any older lady in the south still my people dough. 

    Starting on a good note is and always will be wonderful to me. how can I show you that I'm so into you now? the way you fall back and watch me see if I'm the one for you got me tiptoeing. when you walk to me it turns me on. looking directly into your eyes can tell a lot about a person. yes, we can play show and tell or truth or dare. this is the time when you tell me you love me. I'm trying the hardest to be in your life ain't I. being this man only a Godly man knows how that feels. we share this perfect life.

    When you put your all into something it will come out the way you want it to come outright. that's why I work so hard on my writings because I want them to come out the best. fam I can't let up now I have to keep pressing on that's what my shorty said to me. so why wouldn't I stay on my job? no, this shit isn't easy this shit is hard to come up with ideas. I want my mind to continue looking for words for me to use. if everything goes okay with this company fam it's going to be great in the eyes of the people that want to see me win.

    I'm your man and you are my girl. when I look in the mirror I see a reflection of my children. yes, my children look just like me and I'm proud to say they are my kids. this is the fathering challenge. my children mean the world to me and I will never do anything to part from them. I need to structure my life and obey it according to the way my kids live and what my children need out of life. the smarter my kids get that means the more you teach them. this is why I love you you know what. I dedicate my life to serving you.

    Today I thought I was going to see a baby girl and now I have to wait until tomorrow. ma is now calling her baby z, please tell me the connection and what it means to us being in this relationship. as I sit here wondering where our life is headed in what direction. from here on I promise to keep my word Aaliyah that I will love you with all of my heart. I know one thing you will see. I'm loving you until there's know us or until we go to heaven. even then eternal life will run through our bodies. from this day forward I will take this life seriously.

    So tomorrow will make 7 years since my first copyright certificate was received. I feel so happy for myself and I know my family is proud of me and I want them to know I do this for us. 2010 was the year it's just a little reminder from that day until now I have copyrighted 27 more and I'm still working to write how much I have written it takes time. you have to prepare yourself to be a writer when pouring out your feelings to your family. right now I'm thinking about how did my family receive it and other words taking in what I have released from my mind.

                                                            CHAPTER 88

    When I go to sleep tonight I hope I dream about my family. I don't want you to go unnoticed you are doing a wonderful job taking care of my children. this right here is coming from the heart. please guide my children in the right direction. this is what I won't do for the sex. kill or cross my friend people think I fought with someone over a girl but if y'all look into it. when I was young I use to have fights and yes get jumped but I handled mine and that was what it was for me. 031 is approaching us as we know it and yes it was in 2000 when I was in black justice feel me.

    When you got someone you love, I gave y’all from 13years old until I turned 23years old. that's 10 years must be nice to handle y’all business and what happened when the kid came back home. I had to get back on my feet and people didn't like that. what am I supposed to be messed up all of my life for you to get money? I grind for everything I have and this shit takes hard work. up all night putting words together. distributing my work to the audience that wants to read my writings. thanks to the Bible for Jesus believing in me and now the belief is stronger than ever.

    When you have nothing to lose, you try to figure out what's the best thing for yourself to do. so you start making up things and talking out loud hoping someone hears you, people say when you do things differently you are unique. can you tell me where I'm going with this? how are my children I remember when I saw you when I came back home. I miss your lips and kiss you on the cheek and you said never miss your lips again and kiss you on the cheek, I was trying to tell you I'm sorry if you think I cheated.

    You try and try to be faithful to your spouse. the mother of your children should be treated with respect and love from you. telling her day in and day out that she looks beautiful and her beauty can't be matched. letting her know she's the only one for you. yes I know there are a lot of other females out there but you are the only one that captures my heart never forget that when I make moves you will be right next to me. growing into this strong woman. how can I explain you are the love of my life?

    What the hell do these girls want from me? I'm cheaper than the average person. damn, I tricked on this one girl and this hitch played me. I got a trick for her ass, when hard times come again you better act like you lost my number because I'm not answering the phone. she thinks I'm playing a damn game she better chill before I hook off on her ass. the next step she will be calling the police telling them he disrespected me now look what you did now I got a case but she didn't know the judge was a sporty thieves fan that shit right there blew her top off.

    Things we do for love. spending time by her side in times of need made me feel good. I went through a problem just like that, when I lost my grandma I lost everything. I had no money or clothes or anything to eat. so when it happened to her it was like a blessing for me. showing her that I can take care of her. letting her know the future is right there and she has everything that she wants and now she's riding around in nice whips. living in her own house. I'm still praying that I do not look like a fool out here.

    People say you are supposed to protect the women you want to be with because I wrote I wasn't going to answer the phone. I got a phone call and a course I answered the phone. who am I kitten there will never be a day I won't answer the phone when she calls unless all of this is just a hoax, and then and only then do I have to move on. thinking about life with her makes me feel good and believe that everything is going to be okay. I can't miss a day without her in my mind. I want to be with you and I know you want to be with me.

    Trying to slide by me like I didn't see you. I saw a little man I'm wondering how is he doing. I ask because I care to know. maybe we can live our life together and raise him to be a man that knows his father cares about him. please never doubt the love I have for you. you gave me a family and I respect that for real. planning this future so you and I can have what we need out of life. baby you are the best for showing my heart feel pain and glad when I see you know you are not cheating on me for the time being.

    Coming together as one whole family makes all of the difference. we must stand tall and be accountable for our actions. one that doesn't take care of his children isn't a man. believe me. when I say I want what's best for us. our children will be the face of this company when we are gone. we must teach them the ins and outs of this business. look what I have built and I'm only 35 years old and I have so much more living to do. now and forever I promise to man up and continue to do for our family.

    Baby don't cry we all make mistakes you will learn from them. this is for all of the young ladies having babies at a young age. you have to be the mother and the father. I pray that my children understand daddy fights every day to make a better life for y’all. I miss my children but I know that they are taken care of by their mothers. yes, it's all up to you when you want me in your children's life. I know right now I'm writing to tell you how much I care about you. looking inside of my soul tells me that this is the right thing to do.

    I want you so bad what do you think about that? I need you right now I can't wait anymore. all of y’all been by my side not knowing what I was doing but trust me nothing went on. when I was out of town the time sex happened was 90minutes and 7 seconds trust that. in six years to get in details like 50cent said kissing relation. I'm still upset about the fact you let me go on and play outside of our family. trust me never again and this man stands up and straightens it out.

    When you hear me cry for help it's because I miss your love when I had your love in my life. I was the happiest man on earth. I mean I'm happy right now don't get it twisted one bit. communicating with you in my mind is what I need right now. I love the conversations we have and nobody can take that from us. this is the part when I tell your love is an installment. as days go by the love gets stronger with me. what about on your end is it getting stronger for you? I know I cry every night that I'm not with you because I want to be in your life so bad.

    Watching her grow into this woman. I know I helped her a little bit but give yourself the credit she did her thing growing up. I want to do whatever I can do for you. I remember chilling with her for a little while which made my day. you're first in line it doesn't matter what other chick I may look at. she always brings a smile to my face. today I heard from the baby girl and can't anything mess that up. all I want to do is put a smile on her face. the way she's growing up is amazing to me. she's learning so much and she says my name with perfection.

    I'm so into you from the first day we met. I had a crush on you please let’s level this relationship that we have. how many times do I have to count to be with you? I want you to know therefore you do not have to question me with the love I have for you. Watch you grow up into this young woman keep up the excellent work things like that I look at. I'm trying to figure out if your heart belongs to me. yes. I'm trying to work on our future that's why I take the steps to show you that I care for you.

    If you take 9/16/2017 into 3/17/2017 you have 5/31/2017. if you take 3/17/2017 into 9/16/2017 it gets you 6/1/2017. which means it turns into 12 months and that's yeah it's my company if you use apply and apple and take them and use esce which mean s in Latin. you get yes that's my company if you take 10/1/2010 for when I copyrighted my first writings and take 9/17/2010 reverse the years 9/17/2010 first and 10/1/2010 last you come up with 15teen days apart. 35 years today air force 1's celebrating its 35th anniversary and I'm 35years old.

    Are shit shocks what now niggers want to stomp no comp on battleground gun him down boom boom two clowns from you know where two dies no surprise ghetto hoodlums on the uprise after fruit loops hustle trey deuce on the stoop get loop while crack head treats turn to treat lick dicks for Nick’s I need a fix chill who throwing bricks as I point at my own kind to get mines cheese line now doing time 25 to life wife live the life she says to get the knife now what that smell like while Irish rose.

    The only thing I think about is how to take care of my family. my grind my hard work comes from looking in the eyes of the females that are in my life. you are my world and I love you with all of my heart. looking back at the way you stayed faithful to me and now I'm here to take care of you and everyone that's connected to your life. you make my day go by without a doubt that you are not cheating on me. this is what I need from you. let's reflect on the good times.

    Sporty back for that ass when you look in my eyes. what do you see those hoes ain't playing fair. I wish a hitch would play me for a sucker. she got a lot of growing up to do. I'm on a mission to find one that's not after money. yo, shorty flash me wrong in this day in age watch what hitch you sleep with. I can't stand these birds they are always on some bull shit. I wish I would trick on one of these ducks. and for the ones that have my money. you better be grateful before that shit change real quick. what the hell do you want from me? 

    You have to know what kind of chicken head you are dealing with. you are all over her following the way she shows you that there's another man. hitch don't you know I will leave your ass for real? please don't get this shit twisted, she's always asking me for money. how about I leave your ass with the bill and your ass will be washing dishes as I ditch your fake fly ass? females don't change they want one thing and that's money or to be famous. you think you are going to come up off of me hitch you got another thing cumin.

    She's telling me to fall back for what you better get a job.  you always planning some shit without having money. I told her l's don't trick I want to slap the shit out of this chick for counting my pockets. what more can I say about that click it better be worth it. I'm waiting all of this time for you to hit me off. how many ninjas dun ran in that. as a man we should've known better. chicken heads say pussy rules the world. yeah it's true if it wasn't for a lady there wouldn't be a man but it cum from us first. don't you ever forget that?

                                                          CHAPTER 89

    What are the moves you have to make before you handle the business at hand? why am I getting deep in this game because I want money? I have to stay focused all of the time. when you see a person in the game not following the rules you don't mess with him. you always want what's best for yourself while you're getting money. please never let a person get the best of you. keeping your mouth close at all times because you don't want to show your cards. you want to play your hand after everyone else play their hand.

    You must show strength to come into one and share this life we have. releasing stress is always a good thing. if you know your partner you know she is the one that holds your heart. you have to get out and enjoy what God has given you. please make no mistakes on where life directed you. when you think about everything that goes on. what will you say to me? keeping your mind on the right path until the man above gives you an appointment to see him. this is why I grind so hard. people say hard work pays off.

    This is why I love you. how can I show you that I care? switching names to show that you are trying to tell me something. yes, I understand what you are saying getting to know you were the best, and better believe it doesn't have to stop here let's move on. you are my baby and I never want to let you go anywhere. you give me the confidence to move on and hold my head high. you are the worst to me and one day I want to make you my wife if you let me. the way you and my little sister exchanged names means trust is there.

    A wife that sticks with her man is one that you keep. I'm tired of running from my feelings. you say the way I treated you was wrong. baby tell me what did I do for you to get upset with me. I'm trying to fix all of my wrongdoing. this heart is big enough for God to heal my heart. when I think about all that we went through. how can I get over you when we have a daughter? no one can replace you. I made this bond with you that will never leave my heart. I am trying to do everything right for you.

    With all of the cheating going on in this world. I'm ready to let go and move forward with my life. sometimes I thank God for letting you come inside of me because you gave me the power to go on in life without laying down with anyone. the way you watch me walk from heaven. this life is priceless because you always told me to keep pushing on. baby the way I miss you but knowing you fulfilled me with love. I'm strong because no matter what I know you can't have sex with anyone and you never cross me because the dot wouldn't be moving inside of me.

    If 16 slashes your temple and the 17 one makes a cross on your back. when I got slashed it took 7 seconds then I passed away and the cross is on each arm. one bullet on one and a bullet on the other arm. so I'm at sea do you follow me? you may ask me how is she inside of you. this is not some game I'm running on you. you have to believe me. The 4-page letter stands for 4 leaf clover. what is it you do not understand? the song she sang and the end of my birthday. I'm trying to teach you the reason she came inside of you.

    I must say the time we spent together was worth it. I can hear you calling out to me. why must you look in my eyes? I'm trying to help you develop your being a woman is this something that you want? I see things that you don't know when I'm on a mission to fulfill my dreams. what if I get out and be with other females? where's the first place we saw one another. when I hit the block and seat down on the chillout stoop. you called me and asked me to be in your life from that day forward I was in your life taking on caring for you.

    The way you told the seven females that were on your boat to get on the plane with you. that there let me know if the seven sisters cross me, you have seven more waiting for me, and guess what one of them is out. so the exchange is there, yes it's in my hands but it will never be the same because it's all on you. thank you for covering me like you always do. it's funny who she laid down with but you know me I have to grow from this. growth is a part of life and you watch me like I watch you and believe me when I say I love you for that.

    I know I have to think this way to better my family life. trying to move on but looking back feel so good because I miss who was in my life. I want to keep the ladies that were in my life when I was younger and I'm not saying when I was 13 until I turned 19 years old. I'm talking about the females that I was with when I was younger than that. I miss the way we use to play together. I remember you spending the night at my house. it was more than one of y'all every night keeping me comfortable.

    All of this talk about who got what and who do what. try to get money and stay out of the way. people think others that go to black justice are cool. that's not cool at all feel me. Take care of your family that's cool. that should be the knowledge in not picking up a wire and using it. I bet the people that are in black justice wish they could be out here with their families. you can't accomplish shit when you are sitting behind them walls feel me. I handle my business but never was a person that stayed in and out of black justice.

    It's alright to care for one that you want to be with. when you care for someone you show her that you are working on your life. I cannot understand why our life is separated how can we bring our life back together? she wants you to do better, baby I'm letting you know I'm trying. everything will come to light and happen in time. you rather fall back than be in your life. there's more we can do with this time we have in life. the way you look up to me shows that you are growing up. you should always stand up for what you believe in.

    Why would I want you back? the whole time was a lie but I have to get on my grown man shit and move on. females play so many games with a relationship. I want you to know I care about what we went through. I know taking care of you that's all you wanted. where do I go from here? I want to know if she has moved on. you told me time after time again to find someone else to be in a relationship with. I know I did you wrong but baby I'm making up for it. just because we are not here together why take everything from me?

    So I got a call and this was way back. the phone call was for me to come to her house. when I got there I got to the door and talked to her mother and guess what she's in the shower. I could've seen that body that day with nothing but a towel on but I took a rain check. the next time she called me I went to her house and enter the living room guess who was in the shower again? I guess she wanted me to see her with that towel walking past me all wet. I'm not going to get into what happened next but y'all get the picture.

    People tell stories hoping that people buy into them. get off of my brother's back he might not be able to speak about it. but his little brother can talk about it. you know that's a hell no. follow the rules why get involved with a shorty like you? I'm not feeling that at all. I know one thing he better not have been with that chick. that's why I call them birds. if it was a regular man with an std. it wouldn't be about money. y'all going to stop looking at us as a come-up feel me.

    She's able to get to me with whatever she does. I'm asking you why you want to get under my skin. I try to show you everything I do. let me know if this is the last thing you want for me to walk away. why can't we agree on this life we have together? you know I'm not covering up anything I manned up and took responsibility for my action didn't I. the only thing I know is that I want you in my life. when it comes down to it you are my world can you understand that and you are the mother of my children?

    Giving you the time she said that's all she wants. you know you are my baby anything I can do for you believe me I will do it. I rather this here spending time with her. I know the way we spend time together is in my mind and I'm writing to you to show you that I am here. please tell me what made you change your mind. I had a lot of growing up to do. when you are young and dumped. you follow the street life. I don't want to live like that anymore. I want to be a family man meanwhile I'm in the streets part-time. so hold me down because you are my rider.

    So she called and asked for a dime and I'm wondering for what. as quiet as kept you are the best. keep letting me know what I am supposed to do and now you are telling me things that I didn't know. I think I like when you are on my back but make sure you watch my front. stop playing and bring her over here and you know what I mean or are you playing hide and seek? this is like playing you it and why wouldn't you be that shorty that I want in my life? keep talking to me I understand exactly what you are saying.

    My senses feel like you want what I have in my mind. I'm dying to release this pressure. but I have to be cautious about what's going on inside of me. you are the baby girl in your mother's eyes. please let me know that the love is real. got damn this is hard getting next to you. I know what she is thinking. if she gives it up my pimp will die because that's what I wanted from you. you act like I'm after a one-hit and quit. that's not where my head is at being in the house with you. this is something I have to let go of before it gets out of hand. 

    Diamond in a rough when you lose your soulmate but find the person she's inside of. you look at life a little differently. yes my heart was hot and cold and now it's warm and I warn you to cheat. people do not know what I had to go through out of town. my life was passing by and I was doing everything to return home to you and now that I am here you are the best for me. climbing these heights the mountain is tall. I can't wait until I reach the top. when that day comes I can settle down.

    I'm on 117 verses in one month today, change 117 into 711 boy I hope you are here. look at all that I have done for us. why would you walk away when this life is somewhere you want to be? I can see if I was out there cheating with other females. but that's not the case just in case you don't see things my way. I'm willing to sit down and figure this out. taking care of everything that you needed me to take care of was hard but I handled it. you know how much this means to us but you never know what a female might be thinking.

                                                           CHAPTER 90

    As I sit here and glance at the heart of this woman that could walk out at any time. the question is why stay here with me? when the background song is about you and me telling you that I cheated. in my heart I didn't see anything wrong that's because I never cheated on you. excuse me for saying cheat so many times. how am I supposed to bring our relationship back together? when we are content where we are even if it's together in the heart and mind. losing you is something I never want to go through. 

    Wake what am I supposed to think when I have seen you in over 23years? this shit is hard on me I don't know what to do. I remember the conversation we had. you told me that I had to go out and handle business because you need to be taken care of. you may see pictures of me but I can't see a picture of you. I want to look you in your face and tell you how much I miss you and love you. miss stick standing there looking in the eyes of doubles. this life we share I want it right now because I can't take this anymore.

    The plans we made as kids yes I'm following through with them. if you are stressed out about waiting for one another to be in each other life. this shit got me stressed but I'm fighting it until my last breath. there's something about you baby holding this life in my hand, I'm the rock of this family. day in and out I have to provide for us. this is what makes me a man. the question is can I continue to handle this my response is yes I can because I have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

    If you share this special place with your wife. let her be a part of what you have going on, she will love you for including her in your grind. this is all she wants to do is help out and bring something to the table and I respect that. you can't always be the breadwinner. she has plans too and I think you should support her with whatever she wants to do when you do that she will love you more and she will stay faithful to you because she will feel like you care about her dreams and that's important to her. 

    You stayed right in my heart. I remember it like it was yesterday. it was May something I asked you will you be my wife. so someone is coming soon for me to see her and I'm so happy. the way you prove me right all the time, you make me feel so much better. I can't wait to see her. there are no complaints by me you make my life worth living. if there's anything I could do for you. I will do it you don't have to worry about anything. seeing the look on your face when I proposed you lit up and that's actually what I was looking for.

    Am I ashamed to say I learned from my mistakes? please hold tight to the love I have for this female. I didn't ask you how was your night handling family business. if more come your way yes you can do it but who am I giving you the okay? if we listen to one another then I'm giving you exactly what you want. if anything you can make sure you take your time and do the right thing because it's hard losing yourself. you are so wonderful to me. my dreams tell me that you are the one for me.

    So tonight what are you thinking about? I'm thinking about undressing your sexy ass. these feelings are running through my mind. this shit ain't no lie baby you look like a one of a kind. when I came back home two females came around my block and hung out with me. the both of you looked like you were ready to do something to me tonight and the same thing was going through my mind. when you came around I had like 4 billion dollars on me. any place you can find it you can be at 19.

    The element of surprise you hold this place that I keep thinking about. when you go out do any men try to talk to you? if so please tell them that you have a man or do you like the attention. what about getting attention from me or do you rather get attention from another man. is it my fault for the way you look at me? how can I fix this please tell me. so I can get on my job and love you the way you need to be loved. my world is pleasing you because you are my wife. I can't deny you because denying you take away from our life surpassed.

    Let me place you right here in my heart where time is on our side. faithful is a must baby for real. playing this game as a player isn't what I want. I want the females that are here and have been here from day one. yes, we can build this relationship for life. let me control my feelings not let me express the way I feel for you. this is the only way you will know that I care and what my heart is feeling. as I walk close to you and open my mouth meanwhile you are waiting for words to come out of my mouth. you telling me the sound of my voice turns you on.

    Throwback I can't forget when you were in my life. trust me we are all grown up. What can I do for you? you have everything that you want. what am I supposed to do with you by my side? kissing your sexy lips. thinking about loving you makes me stand tall. that's a little inside joke baby give me one more chance to make it work. seeing our child just makes me go harder for our family and I'm doing my best to handle the business at hand. growing with you proves you are the one for me to settle down with. 

    I don't want you to go anywhere baby stay right by me. can't you see I'm trying? my heart hurts because you are always downplaying me. I'm just playing with you. you inspire me to do better. this is what women suppose to do for their men. this world means nothing without you. like I said before this young lady captured my heart. I can't shake her she's watching my every move and calls me to tell me to keep up the good work. being her man is a blessing to me. one life one love that's what she tells me.

    When I call don't come running already be there for me. that's how you show your man you are by his side. if I wasn't trying to get in a relationship. I'll be in another girl's face but not me. I can't wait until that day comes when we get down. watch your mouth stop yelling at me. you grab it and put it in the middle. entering her soul and the soul connects. it's about the motion and the ocean, not the size get naked. how do you feel about me playing slow music? while you get busy with me?

    Females have good tendencies. we made it here and now I'm looking forward to more writing straight after this. maybe tomorrow has a better look for me. what more can I ask for because everything I asked for you has blessed me with? the goals get bigger when you reach the ones that you want. the money gets deeper and the problems start to happen. you know I'm looking for it but still calm as hell. I don't want to get in trouble with this company that I own. if I was in the streets getting locked I wouldn't have this type of current success. 

    You show me that you care and I'm going to do my best to show you that I care for you. it's hard for a man to show love but this man was raised by women and that's the reason why I appreciate women. there's nothing I won't do for you and taking care of my children. seeing them makes me understand that their okay because I see them looking cute all of the time. thanks to God for letting me provide for my kids. everything I do for you. this is what I man suppose to do. no matter what you always stay on my mind.

    One mic the game the stories people tell. if you knew the truth about things that I know. you wouldn't think it's that when it's this. people have their outlook on things that went on back in the day. why do people have to die off of the hill here's why. know I can't tell people to say it was their fault that the people that died get the fuck out of here. the game doesn't love a mother fucker. I will never forget September 14 that's the day they took my uncle but like I said before I'm cool because I was the last one to see him.

    Sharing is caring from the heart. do what you believe in and never tell otherwise. you should always be a man. when life hit you in the head move forward, people this isn't going at anyone this is the truth. what more can I say? when you can do good by others do good because it will come back. 410 put that on morro d. people must not understand on a boss, this hustling shit ain't for everyone. when you get in the game you get in it to the fullest and always remember that you can get touched. nobody is invisible.

    The man right chea. anyone can get popped at any time so watch your back. y'all mother fucker ain't ready. being in the south yes it was a lot of GDs out there. ready and willing to body anybody. you know I had to keep my mind on the streets getting picked off I couldn't afford it. I ain't playing this that g shit. Following the game, you can die from it. so I try to keep my business to myself. so I don't get involved with what others get into. all I know is there are two ways out. one is dead and the other is going to black justice.

    I'm telling anyone that wants to go out of town to get money. staying out there for 7years was hard as hell. this shit is for real ninjas that are getting money what do y'all know about being in the south. this young ninja-like flipping kilograms. that's the only thing that's on my mind. you know you bleed red when that shit is coming out of you, that means you got hit up. you feel the pressure from the grind. you never know when it's your time to go to black justice. yes, I'm throwing time at it..

    When you serve the best kind of hustle. you get excellent results. you should never let go of what you are doing because that's how you get that money. you still have to watch the stickup kids. After all, they want what you have because they don't have it. the more money you make the more problems. yes, I thought so hit me all the time. respect the grind and never let me down. this is the way we handle our business out here. everything seems like it's falling into place out here on these streets and don't you ever forget it.

    I need people on my team to handle business and take control of the part you play on my team. Love life does good stay focus on what you are trying to do. the fight never stops you should always have your guard up no matter what. people are dying and there's nothing anyone can do. we are getting killed by others and killing ourselves. we need to come together and fight for ourselves but everybody wants to say they got this and that. I'm just asking are you putting money up for your children? if not what's the reason to the front if in the future your kids don't have? 

                                                           CHAPTER 91

    Eliminate all of the bad vibes one has. when you ask someone to do for you, that person always comes through for you because I want you to have the best life. dying inside but outside you looking fearless, how do you hold it all in. you are one strong black woman and I'm so proud of you. laying in the bed with you at night. you telling me I'm the only one you want. this changed my life to be a better man for you and my children. everything I do I want to say thanks for looking after me that's enough thank you I need.

    Bodying this track like this and only this way will get people talking about what you do. how can you fall off when you've been on top for so long. my guess is they want to see you underground but I got something for them. ninjas tried to blaze me once. yes, I got a question I'm wondering if shorty told them my name and ninjas can go ahead saying they ran me out of junk town. if jake was on your ass you would've left too. it's not like I wasn't handling my business. in and out of town doing what only a boss would be doing right yeah?

    What's your alias people call me status. since I was a young kid I stayed in some shit, it's like I never learn my lesson feel me. I stayed doing bad things outside on these streets. it's like I never learned my lesson because the pain seems like I liked it. seeing all of that blood pouring out of my body. I wasn't scared of anything I stayed in trouble. you know nothing has changed about me. everyone knows manhunt used to be the best game to play. we use to play when you get caught you get beat up.

    This is good news by the way seeing all of your friends getting money. you have to go forward with your life. I know I did you wrong hanging out partying wasn't meant for me. if I had the chance to go out with my friends and I didn't have to worry about females on my back I would go out. but knowing me I can't take that chance. when the company opens then I might have to go out but it won't be the wrong way in clubs. all I asks is for respect ain't I'm giving you respect. yes, I want you to enjoy life but if things get out of hand I'm gone.

    When it rains is what she said to me, she told me don't get wet by the rain. that means she will not cross me. you always draw this line for me to cross and I never crossed that line because you are the one I want in my life. you have no chill button and I respect that, you are writing because you are telling me what you want. telling any and every female what it is that you want. I'm all ears and I'm listening and writing everything that you want me to say, trust me I will not let you down. you are my everything this life you gave me means the world to me.

    Stranger in my life so when we first met, I was a young life lifting weights. I had timbs on and then I walked out of the room and when I was walking past you. I stop and asked the young lady that you were with did you have a boyfriend. fast forward to meeting you and yes I walked you past my house. we had our ups and downs, the thought of our child without her father. I'm not saying she's not my daughter but I have to know. are you faithful to me trust me it's been a long time. my heart belongs to you and our child so don't get things twisted.

    So I made everything right by us right. let's never look back let's just grow from here on. laying here in this bed thinking about you. the next step you know and I promise this. I'm all for us as one and this family means a lot to me. I care about you even if I can't be with you I wish you the best. I'm just playing you bet not leave me. watching you grow until this woman. I have been through a lot of stuff but I bounces back and got back on my feet real quick. believe me when I say that love is real life.

    East side riders follow the way I get money. tell me what you want I can show you the world in due time. yes, I want to sex you up, followed by a dinner date with you and your sister. what were you thinking about when you were right there? you think I'm loyal to you. yes, why wouldn't I be you sexy as hell getting on top of you? drowning in all of your love and the love I have for you. I'm showing you right I'm not telling you what I can do for you. there's a lot of different shit going on in this world. you better bring your ass to the east side all the time.

    People say a closed mouth doesn't get fed. if you want me by your side all night, we can get freaky in the bed. which way are you going in. yes I have seen this woman I want but before I can get in bed with her. I have to get into her mind first. tell me all of your darkest secrets. please never hold anything back from me tell me what you want. when I'm inside of you that's you pleasuring me. I bet people in the other apartment can hear us baby you getting loud. I'm telling her to yell my name. while I'm in between her legs.

    My girl told me before she wanted to leave me and I said why. I didn't understand she said you play too many games and I said I'm just being me. it's funny everyone has grown up. let's keep this in mind you are my queen. yes, the cheating made me feel like it was wrong but who's to say I cheated when everyone was in the house? I think when you trusted me I couldn't let you down. look at the life we have right now. we have come a long way from hanging on the block. let me stop playing I'm still on the block and faithfully.

    I never want to let you go. you are like a newborn baby. so soft and smooth, your skin looks so good. people might say I'm wet behind my ears and my breath smell like simlack. I can't help it you make me feel like a baby. people say I haven't had pussy until pussy had me and my response be yeah that's true how many guys you know that don't have that many body counts and I'm looking for a girl that doesn't have anybody counts? when we come in counter with each other. we can live our lives as you can be my first in a long time and I'm your first in a long time or I'm the only one you ever had.

    You should as long as it has to do with building our business bigger. you have to make sure you be careful. I want to see you win because you have been with me all of your life. when I was out of the house handling business. you didn't care if I had sex in the house but it was sex with others, the whole time you trusted me. so why wouldn't I want to see you win? I guess it's my time to trust you and I'm saying I do trust you. just because you're out getting money that's going into our family company please I don't mind.

    A yo when it comes down to who's pocket the largest. you shouldn't worry about what other people are doing or how they make their money. the way the green sit on the top the grass is green and the tree water plants. bro go on about the money I'm stacking I'm telling you I'm having fun playing the way I'm playing. so don't worry about what I'm doing, I mean if it's some street shit then you can worry and I'm worried about you too. the job I may have to do is like 5k that's a lot of money considering all the money we made.

    When I tell you that we are growing apart what do you take from that? seeing other females as well as you seeing other males. I know moving on may be hard but the thought of being with someone else always cross my mind. the thought of being with another person that's not family related or has ties to our family. I always wondered how that type of love feels, loving someone who I knew always was on my mind but if my family isn't doing bull shit to me how would I know I can't figure it out? so moving on stay on my mind, it's been 28 years since we were together.

    When you were out here it seem like my life was in order and now it's all over the place. I miss you so much I would give anything to have you back in my life. I'm wondering when I get to heaven will you be there waiting for me? when I walk in the heavenly gates if you were here things that I feel I wouldn't be feeling. there's no one here looking out for me like you use to look out for me. this is a lesson learned only God knows why he's putting me through this. maybe he has a bigger plan for me. I just hope the plan hurry up and comes to me.

    Looking for a girl can be so hard. when I'm out and about I need one that's there waiting for me to be there with her our life together. she's saying if I disrespect anyone I can't see my children. why do you have to bring my child in this? the way she smiles at me when I hold her hand. parting me if I get you upset but what am I supposed to think my inner self is telling me to move on? I'm trying to find a woman that knows what she wants out of life, not one that's looking for a quick fix. she may be up in other guys' faces. 

    She may ask how many more years I have of being faithful to you. how many years can you go without giving my love to anyone? the more you take care of me. baby, I'm not looking for anyone. my next step is 40years old what do you think about that, trusting a female isn't the same as I trust you. let's make this work I'm all yours we have a child together. Layla stays on my mind every day. I can't see myself laying down with someone that I don't trust. you are the only woman I trust in this life and death. so I guess I will see you on the other side.

    Grew up with you in my life. it's come to my attention that you are playing too many games. but I know how to fix that, if it wasn't for me seeing my child grow up Layla I know money isn't everything and me being in your life means the world to you. your mother had a plan for us and damn it's hard but when I looked in your eyes I felt joy. you make me see the bigger picture and not the small picture. watching you grow into a young lady means the world to me. no one can change my mind about the way I feel about your mother.

    If I decide to get married to this one special person that's in my life. we share so many things that we didn't know we had in common but karma is a bitch. if things don't change I am not repeating I am not having sex with anyone. keep thinking I'm playing you will find out in the long run where I stand. if I back out it's because of you, there are so many females out here and I know I will fall in love with one. people say there's someone for everyone and I'm just waiting because that person for me isn't here anymore. can love find me twice if so thank God.

    When she thinks she is too good for you. you sit her down and let her know. what she won't do another woman is willing to do. my company is at an all-time high and I must say I worked my ass off and look what I get in return. this little voice in my head tells me to move on but thinking about that looking at Aaliyah knowing we planned this life and I will not take that from her. you put my life back together because I didn't know if I was going to last. all I know is that I love you with all of my heart trust me because I trust you.

    You say I need a resolution well I will see you at the end of the year. you always talking about me being the cheater. I don't think you were playing house with me until our daughter was born and now you are inside of someone. I think that person hears me calling do I need to holla at her. she has to hold me down and I must respect her. you have two kids by me right is this all in my mind? trust me I'm going to find this out, please don't get loud at me. I never did anything wrong to you, I always did my best for you.

    She ain't your best time of my life. if there's one thing I learned love your wife with all of your heart and never take her for granted. always put her first in your life and do anything that you can do. one day I promise you the world. I want you to be my wife one day. I can't forget about my other sister. you sitting down and watching how this life has changed for the best. the both of you please don't cross me. if it ain't about money it's about caring about one another and making sure our life is respected from one person to another life is too short.

    One in a million putting everything on the line for you is something that I better do. trusting you yes all the time, seeing you the day you walked into the park I left you in the dark right? mornings feel so good with me next to you. nights laying up with you. afternoons talking about where our life is at right now. be mine and only mine alright is what she said to you. what's true indeed the way you respect me or the way I respect you? both of us should always respect one another. you are the love that will forever keep my heart beating.

                                                       CHAPTER 92

    What does she know about being there when you are down and out? if shit hit the fan will she help you out or move on with someone who knew? this is what a lot of ladies do when their man gets locked up. I need one that's down with me for the long run. finding that lady is so hard but I'm going to continue to look. I had that in you God why? I'm going to ask you this question over and over. until you answer me or give me someone just like her. this young lady could be you but who knows.

    I came across a question are all black women looking for a man with money? when the white women want to help the man build wealth. are all black females looking to hang out and a man that has nice cars while the white women were born with money. people say black women are just looking for someone right now while white women are looking for a relationship. it's not about race but if this is what black females are looking for I might have to change up and find white women and then when you are with white women is this true?

    How long does it take for one to settle down? when you haven't been there for me for a long time. people start to grow apart and that's what's happening right before my eyes good thing I think I have found a new lady to be in my life. I mean she was in my life in another body and that body died and went inside of another body or am I bugging out? I believe she is you and nothing can make me change my mind. she had her eyes on you and this is what I got from her a baby girl and I am thankful for that.

    Fighting for my spot is hard but I am doing my best. if you are not on my team I can't help you. the only person I'm changing money with is people that's signed to my team. I'm making power moves and I hope it continues to go well for me as long as I keep God in my corner he will watch over me and with my baby watching over me. I can do anything I want to. it's better having her watching over me and her watching me here on this earth dubs. the way I see it I'm blessed and I am trying to be one that he can trust.

    The way the game is going I will sit here until I have to come out and play with my money until then I'm going to work hard for what I want. this shit didn't come overnight this is 20plus years of work feel me. when you are so close to becoming the first company to make a trillion dollars. you have to keep the focus on your company. you can't get sidetracked by a female. the female you look for is the one that's lying on your left hand and continuing to take care of her. you should believe her and understand that she is right next to you.

    When she asks for too much, you ask for too much. why can't you do it for me sometime? it's like everything in this relationship falls on me. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that but this is supposed to be a 50/50 relationship. I mean I don't ask for much but for you to help me. all of the money goes into your account. I can't even touch my money, I can't even enjoy myself. people say when you are wealthy. you are not that happy and now I understand why. when you have everything that you want. accept a relationship this shit makes me mad.

    When it all comes down to it who do you trust? building this business so I'm good in the future. you always talking about whether it is us or anything at all but I can't see that. this here comes from me being a man. if I wasn't on my job every day what would you say? you should never complain about what you don't have. when everything you need I take care of it. working all day every day is a hard job. putting ideas together in my mind so my business will succeed but damn it's hard. staying up all night writing.

    Battling so much in a little bit of time here on this earth. yes, I'm a fighter because I want more for myself. if life has you on the ropes. you have to change up the way you handle your life. put your all into your life. you need to make the money now, you can't wait unto it's too late, the moves you make play out on how your family gets taken care of. if you can't understand that then something is wrong with you. you have to be strong-minded to accomplish and achieve goals. that you have set so your life can be easier.

    When you have an understanding of the game. you learn to love the game and I mean the business side of it. I'm sharing my heart with anyone that wants to come inside of my life. yes, it's open to whoever wants in, yes making songs come together means so much to me. understanding the mind so the mind can lead to my heart and my heart letting me type on the computer. I'm still learning about writing there are more things I have to learn in this game. yes, I have come a long way, whoever reading my stories I hope you get something out of it.

    This man found himself depress his mind was going through a lot of thoughts. he didn't know what to do about it. drug dealing was catching up to him he was smoking too much weed and he was drinking a lot. people were telling him that he might need medication. his life was going downhill from that point on. it was like a ghost was taking over his body and he couldn't do anything about it. things started to get deep he started carrying a gun on him just to make sure he was going to make it out from being out of town.

    Divine intelligence must mean you have some sense of where you want your life to go. things that are bad for you leave it in the past. try to focus on your future. that's the only way you will come to a common ground. male purity until marriage means I'm looking for that one lady that knows how to fill my heart with joy. one that's not scared to take chances with me. one that will put everything on the line if need be. if you are not faithful to me move on and go your way without me in your life. if you are faithful to me I love you to death.

    When she makes her own decisions to do things. if in your head you think you are doing something right then go ahead. but if you think you are doing me wrong then I have to move on. only you would know that. if things get out of control I'm walking out. yes, you look good and an excellent sight to see. what would bring me to say I can't take this and the next move is for me to find someone else? as long as you are taking care of the family business I can't get mad. what do you think I'm going to get upset not me.

    Red flue blue flue it's all the same shit just different facts. why would I trust you when I know your heart there's something there in your heart that did me wrong. so I have six months to get myself back on my feet then I can continue to move forward. maybe she will come into my life if I do right. this shit doesn't pan out or add up I'm ready to say I'm moving on but to think back females nowadays have sex with a lot of men. trusting a female is hard work unless you and she have been in a relationship for a long time. 

    Let me tell you something before you put your all into a relationship. watch who you put your trust in because she could be cheating on you. this is why I'm not in a relationship now or calling myself a couple with someone else. I had a lot of growing to do and now that I have grown up. I can take care of life with someone else before I couldn't do it. I had to be one with myself before I could love someone else. how can you love someone else if you can't love yourself? the way you need to love yourself.

    Being lost for words because I'm not having one in and out of my life. that will happen every time so please don't fall for that. you need a woman that's bright and smart and has a good head on her shoulders. you have to keep ya head up because if you don't you can fall for anything out here. please wake up people because as hard as it is before I give up I'm going to fight for what's right and that's equal rights for all races. we need to come together that's the only way we are going to own some shit in our words of us.

    365 and 365 = 730 in 2 years I wrote 711 verses and I stop having sex at 18. I told you the numbers add up. what is it else I have to explain to you, at 12:00 it will be 24 years apart, and like I said in the other verse I only stepped out 7 hours? you and I will be faithful until the end of time. I'm asking you will you be my baby do you mind. you are the only one I think about. I want you to be proud of me. I have 4 verses on the gram take back it leads to 707. if things don't turn out this way I will walk out with my head held high.

    How many times do I have to tell you? you are not a gangster at all. gangster means taking care of your family. when you have or don't have you make away for your family to eat. yes, it does take time for your family to understand that. as it may seem you handle your business. what you know about making away no matter what. putting your family first in any situation feel me. work hard to get good results. if you know that anything is possible. you have to get what you can get out of the game then get out as soon as possible.

    Trying to prevent problems but trust me if that's something that one wants. I'm trying to do this for my family and stay out of the bull shit. yes, I'm trying to maintain out here for the sake of my family and this young lady keeps me sane. so I have four special females in my life. that want me to do better in life and they want me to stay away from black justice and that's what I am doing. who am I supposed to believe she's telling me to put the pictures up for her Passover day. I know it's going to take time for me to get things right.

    Lord why did you take my heart out of my soul. you know what I am talking about so don't act like you don't hear me. she left a daughter and I'm trying to figure out how I will live on. holding my two hands together hoping you hear my prayer. if you are asking me do I miss her the answer is yes. it's like when you took her you took my rib. I understand you put the dot on my hand to let me know that she is with me. Allah. Aaliyah and Elijah, this young lady named her child after us and her name is Blank. I'm wondering if that's a sign.

    Ether stand forgot to get her together. putting words that tell stories is a hard job. but I'm willing to work at it. when you running around putting all of that work in. as I remind you are the only one that I miss but knowing you stepped up for me. as you age you have enough wisdom to pass down to your children. fighting temptation may be hard but you put your all into it. you have to put that woman first and she will love you take care of you and be there for you. that's the type of woman I'm looking for.

                                                             CHAPTER 93

    The same place I first met you know who. fast forward to you glad you called. I'm wondering who you went to the prom with was you shaking your ass on him. after that shit was over? I told her do you know  I write books and she said she want to read them. every time I come to the block to see her she's asking me about that damn book. so one day I printed it out and gave it to her. my guess after that is I got a phone call that you wanted to read my book here's her number. so I called the number and asked her and she said yeah.

    She thinks she's all that but I got some heat for her little ass. if I go underwater can you swim or will you drown? you know the only one that's the faithful one to me is you but she can be you know what on the low. please don't get it mess up I'm okay with jumping words. I can't see what I need to look for just because numbers add up. it still could be a trick so I have to watch my back. chicks always want paper. asking me do I get high yeah high on life. I hope that doesn't go over your head. she's telling me if I don't trick I get know click how do that dale tone sound. 

    Watching you turn into a woman is the best feeling in this world. trust and believe our daughter looks up to you. being a strong woman nowadays because men and women are after one thing and that's the sex part of a relationship. I'm looking for a soulmate and I'm wondering if it is you. causing you pain no more because I can understand what you went through as a young lady. watching you all of these years and trust me all of the numbers add up. I'm willing to wait until you say let's start this family together.

    Yes, I made the right choice in choosing you to be in my life. so one day she called me and told me she wanted a cake for her bday and I said no problem. I called her when I got downtown and I got no answer. fast forward to the future she called me on another occasion. I answered the phone and you know who asked me what was I doing and I said nothing. I asked her did she have money for her bday and she replied no. I said I'm on my way then I got to her house and I sat down and had an earring in my ear.

    So shortie has been lying this hold time. I will rip a hundred-dollar bill on your wack ass. you need someone to help you out damn I shouldn't do anything for you. the reason why is because I'm low on cash getting at you because you spend so much of my money. I'm still looking for my $165 you rather than $173 thousand right? so be nice before I run up on you for them J's excuse me miss. I'm going to get mine regardless trust that. you have no wins with me or this shit I'm speaking. you better fall back before I undress your ass some more.

    You never know who's down for you until you are down and out. the mind goes where it wants to go. you can't deny that. the songs I sing to you are for your ears only. I want to cover you no matter what and maintaining life together be the best move for us. I want to show you that life has other things in this life for us to see. you never know how a person thinks until you get into her mind. that's the best part of a relationship and it should last for better or worse. I want you to keep this in mind. growing together as one means a lot to me.

    Yes, I am proud to be your father and brother at the same time. please don't get this twisted and I mean what I am saying to you. I want you to be yourself around me. I can't wait until you give me the okay to be in your life. what am I waiting on or should I say what are you waiting for. everything seems like it's a go but you stay fighting to slow things down. come on let's speed this pace up. I'm not getting any younger. so what do you say about starting this life right now? the way you look at me when you saw me. I hope you were telling her to say, did I.

    So you ask me do I miss you and the answer is yes. sorting out all of my problems doesn't mean I don't care about you. I remember everything we went through. when I was down south and you know the good part about that is that Layla lives down there too. so no matter what I have to put that call out to all that stayed with me. I know you probably didn't think I would change but trust me. that wasn't my character. I am a good and well-respected man. this is the way I live my life like this and this is me for eternity.

    Making away for me to eat not only on my plate but those that are with me. let's say thank you to the man above watching what I do out here. you shouldn't make that man unhappy. you should stay healthy and try to get wealthy. you need money like no other out here. grinding until the day I can't grind anymore. you work so hard to provide for your family. yes, times get hard but you fight through it. always keep a level head in these streets. planning is something that everyone should do. so your children can have the life that you didn't have.

    Understanding your partner means that you understand the way you want to be treated. life may go on with life in itself but if it comes to a standstill will you be there for me. hard times come but it's how this young man bounces back. standing up for what I believe in always. it doesn't matter who's right or who's wrong. we have to look one another in each other eyes and move forward with this life that we live. standing strong will always help a relationship out. you should have my back as well as I should have your back.

    This shit doesn't change at all. so you have to keep doing what you are doing to make your money. falling back is a no-no-feel me. if you can't stand the heat get out of the streets. what you want from a person that been in these streets all of their life. getting shit taking care of that's all I want for myself. please don't get on your high horse and think you can't get touched. when you are in this game you play it to the fullest. never let people talk about you. do your best to stay out of the public eye. stay on the low and get money.

    Let a ninja know when you are going to war or do some dumb shit. so I don't come around you and get hit up. you know I have to be on point at all times. that's like telling blood to stay o50. you want to build with me how first we better be getting money. people that stay in beef can't go anywhere because you have a lot of people looking for you. you have to protect yourself from people that want to set you up. it can go down either way feel me. you have to keep your guard up and never let your guard down. that's a little sum up of o50.

    Hell no, try to get the best team and try to win. oh, I forgot I already won. I remember going to the summer jam in the south. first when I got there. I had the ox in my mouth, so you know I had to spit that out of the mouth because I would've got caught. I got in the summer jam and walked listening to the south music. walking around and around after it was over. the person that I went there with left me. so I saw this OG that lived in the area that I was from. I flagged him down and got a ride before we pulled off he cock that thing.

    So I just got off the phone with a special young lady. I plan on seeing her tomorrow. I can't wait I think I am going to dream about seeing you here. can you believe when I spoke to her she said hi Ellison and I said hi baby? she must be getting taught my name and what makes it better I'm coming around her. when I'm able not to say it like that because no matter what I'm here. when you are ready for someone to love you, yes I want to be with you. I know brothers have thoughts and I pray to God that's true because if it's not it may hurt my heart. After all, I have been here from the beginning.

    Holding her tight I never want to let her go, looking in your eyes yes I see a future together. the thought of you with someone else but never losing my mind. you have to understand you mean the world to me. I'm asking you here and now if you are my girlfriend. that's all I want to know because you are all I need. the closer we get to one another. baby, I believe anything is possible with us. how many men can say their faith to their families? let's not waste any time. let's grow and pass wisdom to our children Lazarus. 

    Yes seeing you can only mean one thing. how am I sitting here not knowing if you want to be with me? you could be doing everything under the sun. I want to let you know I'm growing as a man. yes, life changes from one day to the next. throwing all of the things I use to do in the past. I'm working on the future for real. when you look at me what do you see in me? if I'm not someone that you want to grow with let me know. so I can move on from where I'm at. I'm trying my best to make this work. the one person that has my back. yes, she walks with me but her walking is up in heaven.

    I had to pull back to see that special young lady. what more can I do for you? I need one to ride until the wheels fall off. when I'm up she enjoys life but when I'm down. she holds me down for what's worth. you take care of your business and that's what I love about you. when our company opens up I want to go to work and then come home to all of you. unless you are on a vacation. that's the only way we can't see one another even then FaceTime will always work. yes, I want what's best for you.

    Back like that, people show their true colors. if I cross you baby I'm sorry do you forgive me? the way you show me is by letting me see my child or I guess I was wrong me and my dog talking about what we want to do. please don't make me undo what we have. the trust is all of these other chicks knowing me and they aren't friends. if you look at me you need to care for me. Do you know better or are you doing this because you want to? Either way, thank you you can have everything in this world. you will find out I'm the best thing that ever happened to you.

    Yep, you make my world so much better. I remember you watching me play basketball. what you think you can play. what about doing my hair? no better love. I know I want to keep you close to me. you look the best never second in line. you always come first to me. how long it has been I think I came home in 2004. that's like 18 years. how do we stay out of trouble both of us handle the business that needed to be handled? who's scared to go to black justice we can't because we share someone special. I still pray it's true.

    You never follow the rules be the flow. I know I have my mind and I plan on using it to improve my life. I know others want to stop what I am doing but never that. believe me, I'm going to keep handling the business that's at hand. Lord, I'm not ready to die feel me. I want to live life the right way. please don't take me yet there's so much more for me to do. how do you expect me to grow if you don't throw me in the fire? let's keep it cool for real I don't need the bull shit happening to me. I want to ride through life smoothly.

                                                              CHAPTER 94

    Losing weight bricks who got it. make that money. baby hold on I'm outside getting to it. I'm just bullshitting. I'm at home running this company. by the way the biggest company in the world. this is that shit I always dream about. if a ninja takes me there. yeah, I will die for this shit. if you want to know how to move like me. just remember it takes guts to be able to handle all of this work. that the connect has for me. living a double life. in the home and coke coming in. it ain't hard to find me out here on these Harlem Streets.

    Family ties who's a fucking liar. this young man can't be fuck with. do I get him with the bull shit? 2001 I came to New York City to handle some business and when I left you signed a deal and when I got back in 2004 deal over know more music. Rip D-Jones, you think it's going to stop here, females are not involved. let's keep it a man thing. front for what when ninjas know how I feel about them. this is the feeling you get when you can't trust ninjas. I didn't know now that I know. for what you okay.

    When we ride on our enemies. you never let anyone know what you are doing. you have to keep your ideas to yourself. people will use you until they can't use you know more. the game has its pros and cons. which one do you live by. it's hard to tell. I'm in this game heads up. you have to know what's best for you. the game made ninjas a lot of money and sent people to jail and there are still snitch ninjas out here. everybody should a by the rules.

    Welcome to new york city now that the connection just hit me. whatever they have I can say. I bet it is the best kind. don't let me lose you with this, 365+46=411. it must be true that you know who is in you. I can't help myself. Ghost what the fuck is popping. our birthday is tomorrow and I verse 2+ 5 = 7 than AI birthday, I miss the hell out of you, you know brother handling this the best that I know how. we all want money.

    Coming up from having the world on his shoulders. shows how strong you are. please remain faithful to me and I will do the same. life is so difficult in times when everything was downhill. now I'm trying to get back on my feet. yes, I'm working hard as ever. being at the bottom was a stressful feeling but I remain sane. so I can keep this young man's head up. how do you know what pressure feels like? when you never fought for anything or things that you believe in. including the grace of God. believe me, everything will come to the light. when you lose your heart in the midst of a cheating partner. you take the steps to bring your heart back as one. 

    It's all or nothing. tell me what you bring to the table. what am I thankful for? my kids having the best life, building together as a family. you are one in me, we move together. we take care of what needs to be taken care of all the time. I can't imagine my life without you next to me. one day putting that ring on your finger. 

    Everything looks up from here. the thought of loving you no more. I can't live my life with someone else. It's all about trust, as I stepped into this verse. hoping my family and friends are okay. at the beginning of time. I'm not looking for anyone but my heart, which isn't here anymore. I miss you with all of my heart. she's telling me this r&b is going to kill award shows. that's where the money is at. if I had one wish it would be to bring you back to me. 

    My heart feels empty but the one thing I'm holding onto is our daughter that you gave me. seeing her I asked her if she was alright. when I walked away from her. before I left I knock on the wall and knocked seven times. slashed her two weeks after that, now when I wake up she feels me. I want to say thank you for being this strong black woman. that I needed in my life, you make me believe in life in its strongest form. the way you make me feel all the time. getting close to you with no worries. you are the love of my life for real. you covered everything that I was tested with. growing as days turned into weeks into years. 

    I'm not going to front. when this thing called love first happen. I didn't know how far this was going to go. but with a little help from God, we can do anything. writing my life in a book about everything I went through, I must say you stuck by me in times. when I thought I would never be the same. things are looking up for us. I owe you the world. what do you do for someone? that be in your corner. all of your life. let's get with this hot shit. you make me this way. yes, I can wait until I'm ready to lie down. 

    Trust it's no rush on my part. you talking about when I was doing my thing. it wasn't like that. who gave me permission to go out and handle business. coming together as I am making it all the better. you guide me on the right path. thank you baby you make me feel so wanted. when we go out the two of us. knowing we are one together who can stop us. you watching all of these females and I'm watching all of these ninjas. you are the only one I see when we are outside. you are the best now say yes I'm yours. appears you want everything to go your way. 

    I'm tired of you spending all of my money. giving you everything that you want. how much is a young man supposed to take? you are always in the club dancing. I want a good girl and yes I understand you should have a girl's night out. you drain me dry asking me for causes. this is the shit I'm talking about. 

    If I say no I don't have it. then you want to get upset with me. what are you giving me? I ask for simple things. like a Birthday card. when was the last time you gave me anything? I can't remember I'm ready to sign the papers. when you have lovers and friends. what are you saying showing me it's on? I'm trying to get away from my friends. so I can come to see you. 

    So we can hang out. she's on my back about coming to see her. where are you I'm not coming that far to see you? oh, you inside of the house. okay, I'm on my way over there. hold on tight give me a minute to get there. mind don't mean to sound impatience but you got to promise baby. you always bringing up old shit. 

    Can't we just move on into the future, as a new improved couple would do? when it gets cold people say that's the cuffing season. whoever was with me in the summer. that's the only one I'm cuffing up with. you do your job and I will handle my job and that's to make you happy. you are the only one I think about. all year round don't get it twisted. there are other females that will love to be in your place. 

    You are my queen hold on. how many ninjas want you? knowing you only with me. this man loves you with all of his heart. growing up it all started when we were kids. playing together at the park and going on ice cream dates. what you did for me I'm the only man that has this much respect for you. you did a great deed to me and I'm thankful for that. now that we are older. where do we go from here? maybe we get down and do the grown and sexy with each other. feeling on that body you are the best. with you, by my side, I can praise this time that we spent together.

    It's all about timing. you take that special woman. by the hand and let her know that you love her. making her day go by so easily. something that she will always remember, keeping her close to you. whatever she wants she can have. simple things count the most. I understand that. take baby steps with this relationship. we are supposed to be at the top right now. what are you waiting for I'm only a phone call away from whatever it is that you want? yes, I can make every day feel good.

    Cry for you that's something I'm not doing. you are more sensitive to the situation. baby you have to be strong or else this won't last. my mind always goes 100 miles per hour. how can we slow this thought process down? we have to learn the value of one another. rushing this relationship to work. we are going to end up breaking up and that's just facts. who to say we belong apart from each other?

    Love u 4 life how can I prove I'm with you? I got your back baby. there's nothing in this world. that I will rather be doing but taking care of you. I want you to be my wife forever, can we stand the test of time? I want to know how much you love me. show me with this hug and never let me go. this is the place that we are in right now. now that we came to understand our life. hold on for dear life. you are my world.

    Until the end of time. when you give your all things happen. you have to watch the game. if everybody forms as one. it's getting cold on this earth. money is the rule of all evil. never get caught up in that. take it one day at a time. step by step. everything and more can come your way. God will bless you. we have to fight to unite. we as people need each other. all of the senseless killing for what? everybody can act gangster. how much time are you willing to do? I'm not willing to do know time. when I have my family to protect.

    What's my name at this moment I want you to remember. that we all can get this money. it ain't about who's the boss. it's about all of us moving as one. who got the most money. if everybody eats it wouldn't be any hate. let's come together and get these chips. the game used to be for everybody now ninjas talking about selling drugs. where at let me know. where you ninjas got bricks. I ain't one for show and tell but my ninjas moving.

                                                           CHAPTER 95

    

    The streets talking the kid is not scared. 1 in chamber 16 in the clip. blasphemy that is what God said. let's play this back who gangsters who are murderers. my ninjas better stick together and don't fall out over this money. Ghost Town that's where I reside at. big up my brother rollack. if you call me my blood name call me simlack and don't ask me what's my connection. the green is on my mind. never let ninjas infiltrate.

    When you grind hard. good things happen, you can't stop me from doing this. don't worry about how we ride when it's time to get shit popping. yeah, I'm in these streets. handling big business. how much money does a young ninja want? my company doing just fine. I'm the one and only. all of my friends got money. we can't be stopped. 

    why fall back when the money keeps calling? you have to know what you want out of life or else it's going to be a long ride. Shit can't get any better. when it's a must to get money. that's all you think about. what else you are going to be thinking about. the world doesn't stop. it continues to go around. my grandmother told me to clean my belly button and that's my promise to her. may she rest in peace. as times get hard we have to have each other front and back and side. but never get sidetracked. when friends become foes. you have to do your best not to get caught up with the bullshit.

    Let's get this shit understood. you and I need to keep our mind on this money. people make mistakes it's how you deal with them. when you are in this game bad things do happen. gangsters live by the street code. if you break them you will find yourself in a bad situation. a lot of your moves come from not knowing the outcome. we have to pace our moves carefully and never let this street shit get the best of us. the game why not live in it? furthermore, keep your eyes open at all times.

    On days like this, I show the most love to my family. what's the problem? only if we knew what we were doing back then. when you ride for a man or woman. you love them with all of your heart. if she or he has trouble you can work it out. you always show her that you care and take the time to listen to her or him. baby, I know it can get hard. when you sell things and hustle but when all of that stop. I can honestly say that I'm thankful for you being here for me. baby, I have to take my time and show her that she's important to me.

    I know I'm ready to settle down. if I wife a girl she has to be the perfect person in my eyes. it's so hard for me to find a partner. when you love a girl or should I say, girls. my mind is on a mission to find her. can you send me someone to love? help me understand what love is. baby having a baby. is so incredible for a man. this goes out to everybody that's in my life. you will be blessed for keeping me close. how can we break this off? I never want this to end. you make my life better. holding you baby. kissing your lips. making love to you.

    Meeting in my bedroom. now that I got your attention. I can tell you my secret. it's only for your ears. let's get to the part when we undress each other. how do you talk to me? don't get smart. it's all or nothing when I see you. can I say call me when you are ready? the way I move can be stressful for me. when your feelings are in the middle of the bed. telling you I want you. her body had a baby I'm so thankful. the way you express yourself. I only want you. so cheating I'm gone. this is for only the ones I trust.

    Separated you took everything. but you can't have my kids. I'm not letting you get away with that. I will fight you with all of my money. you are not getting anything from me, is that all you wanted right? my mother told me not to trust you. there's nothing at all you can say to make me feel bad about the things you did. you look like it's my fault. when you and I cheated. I had an excuse. the lady that mean the most was hurting. what is a man to do? you know there's nobody that can replace you. how should I explain this?

    What do you look for in a person? when you go against the world. take my advice follow your heart feel me. In this game that I'm in you can get picked off easily. what the devil has in him trust me it's evil. people say when you live by the gun you die by the gun. ninjas making moves to provide for the one that rides with him. this gang shit is legit you have to stay bulletproof. you do your dirt by your lonely. when you feel 031 until the day you die. you have to keep it, gangster. running the one you are supposed to stack.

    It doesn't make any sense to yell at me from a distance. that's like shooting a person from a distance fuck get right up on him and handle your business. when you pick up that toast you better be willing to use it. when I was out of town people died for some bull shit. all I know is that I promise my brother I will handle this music shit. you have to be willing to take your time that's all I hear from him in my mind. I'm trying to tell him this shit doesn't stop. I'm doing this for the ones we lost. being in it until I can't rap anymore.

    When you have to go out you go out with a bang. red light green light. when I got slashed I was dead for like half an hour then someone in my family found me. I don't know if they rush me to the hospital. I'm wondering how they got me there. anyway, what was running through my mind? I have to stay at 050 at all times. east side what you know about the gang. my eyes are open for real. if ninjas want to go to war let's go. my people telling me to stay strong out here by using my mind no doubt.

    Trust the females that are in your life. never let them down. it's hard when a man tries. it's like nothing we do is good for you. how can a man stand up and be a partner? if all we are going to do is yell at each other. baby, I hope you are okay. the money doesn't mean anything without you in my life. I'm trying to live up to my expectation. you have to bear with me. while I'm in these streets. trust me it's hard. every night I think about my kids. making their life easier. baby only time will tell. how far we can go without each other.

    Heaven sent only the man above knows how your life is going to end up. everything you want in this world has to come from him. this is why I pray every night. just the thought of praising God. makes me a better man in so many cases. all I asks is for him to bless me. it's not a game if you don't keep him in your corner. you can lose on so many levels. this goes out to all of God's children. may he continue to bless you. for better or worse. how can you go on without him on your mind? when he's all over the place.

    No time dun die er. this is that gangster shit. what do I do but get a ghost? when you talk watch your mouth. all that I have to say be get money. this treetop shit is the best. 1500 you know I'm always playing the gate. just in case I have to visit black justice. holding my head. never let anyone take your joy. you should enjoy every moment you have here on earth. this world is big as fuck. one day I will like to visit other places. nothing gets past me without it going in the past. with the right path, you can accomplish a lot of things.

    This is that shit ninjas live by. you can get out of the streets. at an early age. watch the game close. it's so fucking hard in the ghetto. it never fails to be in the eyes of others. when you live in a game that gangsters live by. this shit doesn't get easy, you have to come to the table with something. that's what people respect. your name means everything to me. I can't get in trouble right now. that's the way I have to think. make sure you hold your own. the streets don't love anybody. except for my ninjas.

    Every moment is a blessed moment that I get to spend with my family. my heart hurts because we lost so many soldiers. how can we get over this? the path we are on baby never let anything come between us. when you love your family. you will do anything for them. yes, the battle is hard, I wish for that day. when we can lay down and be together. how about you tell me? what's on your mind or can I read your mind? when you are next to me. the story can go on for days.

    Forever my lady when our baby was born. I promise to do whatever it takes to keep you happy. when the time is right. we will be together. just wait to see what God has in store for us. from the first meeting we knew from the start. how can you mend my heart? from thinking you are with someone else. do you get the picture? they say a picture is worth 1000 words. I'm not going to go there to the other part. you know what I want to say. the look that you had in your eyes. mean you are faithful and I respect that, yes I do.

    This is what happened when you left me and I'm still trying to get over it. please tell me give me a sign that this girl is inside of you. she makes all of the difference, am I happy for nothing or do I have a reason to smile? thinking one day we can be together and spend the rest of our lives together. if the sign you just threw was orchestra by you thank you. the more I get in touch with myself the more I can do for my partner. talking about what I am feeling isn't that what love is? you have to walk with me a hand to hand.

    Finance the dream you want by putting money in stock. you want to be a shot caller. you have to save what you make, and spend 25% of what you make. that's a decision you have to make when dealing with money. I'm only here for that green money. watching how your investment goes. try to thug it out until you win a large amount of money. put money aside for a rainy day. that's how you have to plan. that right there I been bad on but it's time for me to get on my job. trust me it will help in the long run.

    Accumulation is what makes you more money. you have to dig deep in your pockets and then fill your pockets up. this shit ain't for everyone. you have to put blood sweat and tears into this shit. the way life is going. I want my ninjas to be healthy and thank God that their living. fam you can't think like that for real. thinking about if you weren't here know more. ninjas will miss you. you have to work on what you want out of life to achieve your goals and accomplishments will come in due time.

                                                               CHAPTER 96

    The stability you need one another to work together to build a home that can't be broken. all I see is pain when I look in your eyes. please help me get my act together and that is exactly what you did for me. giving my soul to God or did God give his soul to me and did the love of my life give her soul to you yes she did. a woman looks for a man that can provide for her and give her opportunities to be great. so she can set her own goals in life. a Woman that has set goals will accomplish them with the right man by her side.  

    Conquer what you want to conquer. fuck that follow no rules. go with your guts at all times. if you have to use a weapon pop off. I came from the dirt and turned it into a flower. get at me when she turns 33 her daughter would be 11. you transforming that yes you are. damn, I can't escape the numbers that you hit. when the math is on deck. where should I look in what small space know this is the littlest space that holds the earth and that's the dot that's on my hand. this shit doesn't make any sense.

    The only thing I can do is try my best to give you this home. that you dreamed about as a little girl. this isn't easy on me, it's taking everything out of me. you couldn't understand the time I put into making this come true. I'm telling you my mind was fucked up at one point in time. seeing you gave me the strength to move forward. I think I came a long way to get back in your life. yes, I wanted to ask you what were you doing. as you may know this set the record straight about anything you think about me.

    Pursuing your dreams can be so hard at times. please don't give up on what God has planned for you. strive to be the best that you can be. the only thing people see is me being humble not starting problems. staying in my lane. doing what I love to do. you have to be focused on your craft no matter what you do stay on your job. I know having a job that you love can bring you so much joy. when you start reaping the benefit of what you have accomplished, you would appreciate it more. 

    Conversation talking to you threw my writing. praying to God you understand what I am trying to tell you. I have so much more I want to tell you. I think God will let me finish telling you my story. as long as I'm thinking threw his mind anything is possible with everything I have exposed what you think about it thus far. my mind yes it is tied but I am going to keep writing and spilling the tea into my life. this is what I put to the full front of my life telling you things that you needed to know about me. please tell me you forgive me.

    So x said what these females want from a ninja. dealing with different females will be a problem but when all of them are on the same page things will be much easier. planning for the future and taking care of all of them can be hard. I have to level up I can't have sex with females that are having sex with different men. I'm trying to keep the ones that are with me. so I don't have to worry about different females giving me an STD. you can catch std through unprotected sex. everyone should live by the rules and wrap it up at all times.

    You need to place yourself in my situation and try to bring this type of outcome to your life. this is exactly what I did I knew it was going to happen in due time. how do you feel about the outcome please tell me. this shit doesn't end it only gets better. if it wasn't meant for you fall back. people change every day it's how you act in a situation. guiding people in the right direction mean the world to me. if I can help you trust me I will help you. playing in the field can and will get you hurt. please lay back for now maybe it will help you show your talent.

    What state of mind you are on? this business isn't meant for everyone to be in it. who ran the music industry since it started me that's who. now everyone wants to rap and show their talent right. how many albums do I have to write to show that you're not messing with me. as time passes older ninjas trying to be a rapper now. you have to put your pen to the test drop an album and see what you do. you have to go on tour. you have to write how many tracks you can write. in the beginning ninjas, I fuck with own this music business. we never gave up on our dream.

    As I write yes it gets harder to come up with these ideas but I'm going to continue to thug it out. putting my pen to the test wasn't easy it was one of the hardest tasks I ever had to do. sitting here thinking about what I have done in this business. I am so proud of myself and I know this special lady is proud of me too. when you came inside of me you brought my mind back to one place because it was all over the place. I don't know how many times I told you thank you. I think people that are reading my writings feel what I am saying.

    No, I'm not ashamed to say I did you wrong. what this has come to. please don't remind me what was done to you. I don't want to hear about it anymore, how can we move to a better place? she has this thing that all men talk to other girls, not me. I don't want to do what I use to do. you know little to nothing feel me. when the money calls you have to run for it. if you do not have money females wouldn't want to be with you. unless she's an independent woman and she has all of her shit together.

    Can't you see I'm trying to fix this relationship that we had? if you feel like you want to let go be my guess. you want a baller that has money. that's where we go wrong in a relationship because she just wants a person that has money. romance is the last part of a relationship. being together and staying together. it has to be more than that. you have to trust you have to want to build with one another. we need to be faithful to ourselves as one. we have to understand the thinking pattern one has. that's how this will last.

    This shit can get real about the argument we have with each other. one thing I was taught is not to hit a female. I can't and shouldn't raise my voice. I'm trying to keep calm but you keep provoking me to get upset with you but that's not my character. you are trying to get me out of my beliefs. women should stay in a women's place. I'm not going to sit here and go back and forth with you. this is crazy because we are supposed to be nice to one another. let me say sorry for whatever it was I did to get you upset.

    When the game stops a person like me will be right here. taking care of my company business the right way. you have to have a good head on your shoulders to make your business successful. taking care of everything while I'm young is the best thing that I can do. the reason why is so I don't have to work as hard as when I get older. this business can love you today and then hate you the next day. it's an up-and-down situation. one minute you're hot and the next minute you're not. I know you want to be in this game for a long time. so work for it.

    When you are in and out of work. you have to hustle harder than ever. you have to prepare yourself for what God has in store and take heat to it. you never know how much time you have here on earth. so you should do your best while you are here. I remember riding around with the strap out of town not looking for beef but just in case a ninja gets out of hand. I remember my cousin came to my house to get me. I had the gun on me riding across town. I got across town and had to get rid of it because we were moving to another apartment.

    You never have to show what you have. let people talk about what you have. this is the time to show and tell what you have. I have nothing I'm trying to surprise the world with my talent. step up and own what you have in this woman. how hard is it to be with you? I never thought of being apart from you. what you don't know won't hurt you. if I tell you I care it's because I do. it's not enough females that have my attention. I want you to be blessed while I handle this business that our company has. I can't get caught up in what I do out here.

    Asking for time to slow down in life but time keeps moving and moving. everywhere you look people are getting older and babies are being born. children growing parents loving their life. everything happens for a reason. people look at me like a grown-up because of the way I conduct myself. I'm not all over the place. I try to keep handling my business the best way I know how. everyone grinds differently I am trying to find out the way I grind. you have to pass knowledge down from generation to generation. to keep the movement moving on.

    Please someone tell me the difference between being in a relationship and being single. when you share a special place with someone. all you do is want to be with that person. this is the part when I got back on my grind to get back into my family life. transporting drugs from one place to the next getting money. you never know how to get down until you are in that position. carrying guns all of the time. when I was out of town. this is around the time I got sick but think about it all of the drugs I was taking. I never felt I needed sex with another female.

    What was the reason you came inside of me let me know? she's telling me to hold you down. so no one could come between us. she said she takes this relationship real serious. you will not be in and out of different women's beds and will not be going out. you know where I'm talking about. I'm not giving up on you at all. you hold me down and I will hold you down. ain't this what you wanted right yes. coming inside of you what the year 2001 and moving forward. this here is all I wanted, please watch what you do okay?

    What do you know about being loyal to your ninjas? this shit hurt my heart. my prayers go up to the real friends one has. that stick with a person when he's up or down. you never know when that person will need you. this shit can go one way or another way. grinding until the day I can't grind anymore. watching my plan and staying on my job no matter what. do shit that's going to help you in the long run. you have to control what you want out of life. playing both sides can and will get you in a jam.

    So this is when we first saw one another.  it had to be one of the best days of my life. but what if she's dating someone and she used me for money? it's funny cause her daughter is named after my cousin and my sister's baby soon to be here is going to be named after her mother. shit like this hit home because are they talking to one another and making plans for our future or are they leaving hints for me to follow? Either way the way I look at it is this could be true. so I have to believe what my sister and you are doing.

                                                              CHAPTER 97

    Here's the first year of me getting on my feet. the first thing I did was stop smoking not so much drinking. as I'm ready to build a foundation for my family. seeing you every day and how can I thank you? I put everything behind me. lay stops anything that can hurt you. all of the numbers add up. showing me you are her and that's what I believe. baby show me some more signs that you are here. I can't hope but wonder if is she walking with you. if not let me find someone to take a connection with you. but I pray it's you.

    It hurts too much the love of my life. what did you do for me, you are the one I miss baby. please tell me what you are thinking. how can you walk in my shoes? you are telling me you will never leave me but you are walking out of my life. the fights that we have. yelling at one another is making us fall apart. there isn't another man that's going to love you like me and you are saying there isn't another female that's going to love you like me. so where do we go from here with our heads pointed up? Are you telling me you are leaving because of what? I did nothing to you.

    West side how can they stop me from being who I was designed to be? when you have beef with people you handle it or sometimes you can come to an agreement that it can be peace. the only way to come together is by calling truth. you shouldn't want to get in trouble over some bull shit. you should always keep a level head out here. I'm giving you the game for free. why do ninjas want to go to war? let's get this money fuck who thinks differently from me. you better watch who you fuck with. when I tell you I'm struggling you see the pain. 

    You tell me you want this to last but he's always out in these streets. he's telling you he has to handle his business. you telling him to choose. what is this an all to pay them? I can't make up my mind about what I want to do. one part of me want to be at home with you and the other part want to be in the streets. she's telling me home is where you need to be. I'm telling her I know. let me get my act together before she walks out of my life. thanks for telling me what's on your mind and thanks for helping me grow.

    You have to sort your problems out if you want them to stop. use your mind. never stop getting money. I plan on stacking people's say when you make your dreams come true. you have to spend all of your money to make money. damn how true is that that shit is true because I'm on it right now, you gamble with it all to get on top. guess what now you are on top. what do you do next how about putting your people on? so your people can eat with you, so nobody has to ask you for anything feel me.

    You tell me one thing and do another. you have to make up your mind. you always say you want me here with you and our children. so I'm putting in the work to be the best father that I could be. you never showed your ass or acted out on me. trying to stay away from other females cause I know leaving you isn't an option for me. letting you in my life meanwhile, you have to let me in your life too. growing pains damn I'm trying to figure this out. please tell me what you want from me. I gave you my time and I invested in this relationship.

    By pacing yourself you come to an understanding about the way life is supposed to be. carrying the women no helping the women yes. being equal partners yes. standing side by side no matter what happens yes. when one fights the other one fight too. being able to love one another yes. holding one another down. watching what each other says never disrespecting your partner. putting each other in a position to win is the best partnership you can have. growing together is all I'm looking for in a relationship.

    Being all that you can be is what I'm after. be smart be great win that's what I want from you. you have been here for a long time and I'm thankful. you are the greatest person in the world. you look after me and watch every step I take out here. living here on earth and knowing that you are up in heaven makes me want to go there one day. see you when I get there. you are one strong woman to give up your life to help me out. this is the day I take my vow to protect you know matter what.

    Wipe the tears from your eyes and stand up and be a woman. take care of your family. if you can't make money the easy way try the hard way. work at a job save your money and then open up a business. people do not get wealthy by standing in one place. you have to make your dream come true. you have to put everything you have into your dream to make it work. being the underdog has its advantage. so take heat to it. by being the person that has nothing to lose but everything to gain in this world.

    If you know me you know that I give what I have to make sure my family's taken care of. putting your family first should always be the beginning. in time we should understand that growing up is a part of life. the fight does not end here we have to keep pushing for what she wants out of life don't you think? you have to better yourself for your life to move forward. this time we are going to do it the right way trust me. you cannot have any fear you have to keep on keeping on.

    Writing can be so hard at times, you have to be willing to write all of the time. you have to put your all into your writings. if you want to make this dream come true. you put the same energy into your writings as you would put into your relationship. what more can one say about the way you treat me? holding your hand at night. lying up in our bed. talking about our future and what it has in store for us. baby the love of my life be you and my children. baby, can't you see I'm trying to love you?

    What's in the Bible? I'm supposed to give my life to you Lord. reading up on you trying to understand what you went through. I'm at the point where everything seems unbelievable. she says she wants someone else hurry up and gets out. where I'm 16 years old. just think about it. it has been 20 years since I had sex with anyone in New York City. I know I always say thank you to you for doing what you did for me. walking with you next to me. make it easy to walk through life knowing you can't have sex with anyone ever again.

    Letting things go can always be hard but you have to move on. trust me I know how much you care but walking out sometimes comes across my mind. I just don't know what I want out of life. this thing of love is so hard for me. I know I'm a new beginner. the one you call your wife the so-called love of your life can be doing things behind your back. I don't know what to think about getting in another relationship. taking the one true women from me. she taught me as well as taught her things about life. 

    So I'm at a place where I have always dreamed to be. my writing has caught up to the time I had to stop doing what I was doing. I painted this picture of my life, I hope people enjoyed it. walking down this path hurt so much but getting it off of my chest feel so good. only God knows where I am going and what the future has in store for me. one thing I plan on protecting you. I can never forget what you told me. when you walked out of my life.  you told me to handle our business and that's what I did. for you and me.

    Trying to show you that everything's okay can be so hard. the way you walk the way you talk the way you handle me. the only thing I'm supposed to know is that you care for me. showing that you and I are strong enough for anyone of us to guide us through life easily. I'm the only one that's trying to make this right are you trying to put work in too? hoping that one day we come together and understand what one another is thinking and understand what one another is thinking. being that you and I both know how strong our relationship is.

    It's not what you do but how you act in any situation. the outcome makes you a man. you can have it all and you should look at that. making moves to what you like to make moves to. growing up as a man, not a little boy, every action reacts. building for you and your family. when people in your life need you more. let's understand one another let's take care of one another. the deeper you may get show how much you have grown into a man. follow yourself and no one else.

    The best time waking up is in the morning next to the person you love with all of your heart battling right from wrong which one do you choose and why? you can be a bad person then everything you do will end up in black justice or you can be a good person and everything you do will lead you in the right direction. how many times do I have to tell you you are the love of my life? baby, please understand there's nobody I will rather be with than you, you bring me so much joy in my life. that makes me enjoy life.

    So exchanging names make me believe even more, that you are meant for me, holding you in my arms. telling you that everything's going to be alright by the grace of God. how can you look the other way not me I'm looking right at you. I need you to help me get past the hard part of loving you. you are dear to my heart and never forget that. your love is all I need. where do I begin how about with you in my life? so I'm telling you please understand what I did was for me and you. look how much I have grown.

    I'm here showing you that I care about you. all I am asking is for a little respect. I know you are your personal and you will do what you want to do. when I asked you did you want to go to a concert you told me you don't like crowds and then I asked you to go to the movies with me and you said yes. but we never went so I still want that date are you still up for it? I love making sure you have what you want and now you have grown into this young lady thank God you found yourself. just knowing you don't want to be in these streets makes me so happy.

    Your love has taken a toll on me. all I want to do is make you feel better about your life. you shouldn't have to worry anymore. when you are with me. the care is on a 100 strong. you may not understand everything I'm talking about. I know sometime I may sound crazy at times. smart people talk about things that people do not understand. the conversations I have is limited to people that don't turn me on. the dos and don't's in this relationship. you have to be with me and only me. why cheat on your lover?

                                                                  CHAPTER 98

    Like what staying on the block pumping works. at any time jake can come to get my ninjas. what the fuck do ninjas want from me, ninjas get popped every day. I'm knowing if I would've stayed jake would've been looking for me. that blood shit was in full effect. going OT made mad money out there feel me. throwing time at black justice not knowing if I was going to get locked up. but when it comes down to my family they have to eat feel me. I will do anything for the dough learn to put the work in the bag then get money.

    What do we have here God bless you? you are the temple that God was talking about being next to and praising him. yes, I know you have been here since I saw you for the first time. creating words to say to you. she chooses to be with you and you are doing everything in your eyes to make things right even if you are in another body. she shares this place in my heart and I can't shake it. please show me the way and I will follow you. God says you reap what you sew. I guess I didn't do anything wrong.

    I know you cheated I can tell by the way you act now. you not returning my phone calls on time. when I'm going inside of you it feels different like someone else has been inside of you. that's okay because now I'm going to find someone else. you do not have to worry about me again I promise. I want you to hear me and hear me loud and clear. there are a million females ready to replace you. who will it be I am now looking for one to replace you. she has to be faithful to me. I have no time for the little kid games.

    I'll be the one I know if I have a child with this woman. I will do everything in my power to take care of my child. you can sweat me she can sweat me but see sin staying right here. is this the answer you were looking for? how can I make you believe me? you say men don't change but what if I had a bad experience? being with different females and don't want that anymore. I want someone that I can spend the rest of my life with. you said you will always be in my life. you promise me you will take on this thing called love.

    Please God take away the pain that I had when I found out you took my baby. I know death is life because exchanging souls meet one another. I have been battling this for some time now. I can't get over you taking my partner from me and the only thing I ask is why. maybe your plan is bigger than mine and you needed her for a reason. that I will never understand. you took my protector and the love of my life. everyone walks with a shadow and when you call us our soul goes up in heaven but not hers she stayed right here with me.

    Here she goes telling me what I am saying. this is so adorable. the way she reminds me that she's watching me like a hulk. being that I understand what you are saying to me. keep doing what you are doing. this is what keeps me on my toes. this is the way my baby will be on me trust me. you have all of her ways. I need you more than ever you keep me strong and my attention on my Writing. the way things come together when I write makes me understand how hard I am working and once again you never seem to amaze me and keep looking after me.

    Covering things that need to be covered. like if she was inside of you, so you say you lamp inside of you. how can you be so sure of that? the only way you can be sure is if the dot that runs threw my body run threw yours. rule number one for a person to be chosen by another person. that person has to respect you and believe in you. she has to know where she is going is safe for her. she has to know there will not be any cheating or lying. she has to know you are her protector at all times. for her to walk in your shoes you have to be someone she trusts.

    If I had one more day with you. I will tell you before you go back to Jesus' arms. where you are keeping him company until I get there. he needed you there with him. you know you stopped his tears from flowing down his cheeks. people say when it rains he's crying. please watch over me and continue to bless me. is it a problem that I gave my life to him and I don't want to do what I use to do? this man got me out of bad situations that I was in. I remember I use to pray to him to keep me safe and yes he did.

    You put me in this position. so why would I cheat on you? giving up your life to help me out. you are the only one I need even when people turned their back on me. I can't go one day without you in my life and the thought of finding another female and then she breaks up with me. how will I explain that to my daughter? I have to think about what is good for her. I can't mess up because I have to watch her. I want you to know that you are the love of my life. he has put his hands on me and I walk with him in different.

    Kept her close to me. you made this wish that you can be with me. you said your goal into my goal. coming back inside of me. what have you learned may I ask you is everything okay inside here? she answered yes you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. we have been through so much together and now we stand here faithful to one another. let know one take this from us. how can you bless me some more please tell me. the thought of us parting ways. I never thought of that or it never cross my mind.

    You hold me together and I'm here for you for the sake of our child. keep talking to me, helping me write these songs. I want to know how your mind thinks and the way your body needs me. I need you more than ever can't nobody walk in your shoes? you were one of a kind to me. I'm trying to get over the fact that you are no longer here on earth. yes, I know that Christ needs you but why you couldn't stay by my side? she's telling me the higher power was calling her. who am I to tell you don't go home? keep a space for me.

    Changing for the better maybe I have to find someone different to be in my life. it seems like everyone is doing the same thing. this is me speaking from the heart. Lord, what can I do for you? you set me on this path and I have followed it to a tee. should I look for a new beginning? I need to start over with new women in my life but first I have to see my daughter. nothing will keep me from taking care of you. this life we live wouldn't be where it is at if it wasn't for your mother and your mother gives me the willpower to go on.

    My soul isn't feeling right. the meaning of loving you. I put my all into this relationship. being here for you isn't taking my time. the greatest thing you could've given me was you. all of this is because of you. the time you have given me inside of my soul. when your dots travel through my body makes me feel so alive. I know the 16 slashes down the temple and the 17 one going on my back as the cross and I hate saying the cross so remember to say status. I can't feel it because I do not have the right temple.

    Here and now I take you to be my wife. know more about other relationships. you are the one for me. you are the only one I want to go inside of. your body is calling me and it is telling me to come inside with no problem. in some cases, you have to protect yourself. if I have to protect myself I don't want to enter your body. the one I'm going inside of has to be clean. she must give herself to God and herself to me. that's the only way we can be together trust will be there.

    Baby hold on to my love. the world is not easy you need help and I'm here to help you out. baby the rule of this thing called love. I wouldn't mind buying you anything that you want. please hold on to me. when I wake up in the morning you put the first smile on my face. getting up to you cooking me breakfast that's what a woman that's woman do for her baby. while I'm at work she calls to check on me to make sure I'm good. the little things do count in a man's life.

    You make me out to be the bad guy. your mother yelling at me telling me to go away because of what you told her. why are you telling her lies? you the one cheating on me. I'm not cheating on you. yes, you are, and if you ask me how do I know? the signs are showing you are not home on time. you're out all night hanging out with your girlfriend so you say. it can be another man you think I'm stupid. please don't insult my intelligence with the bull shit about me being wrong because I know that I'm telling the truth.

    Please don't let the beast out of me. please maintain your life. this shit depends on how long you going to be in the game. it ain't about who got more money it's about who can stay out here on these streets the longest. you have to watch the boys so you don't get locked up. when you hustle in these streets. the streets don't love you when you're off your game but when you are on top of your game ninjas hate you. you can't have it both ways so get money and fuck what ninjas think. this goes out to all of my money-making ninjas.

    You call this a home and somewhere you want to stay. I know living here is hard work and it takes dedication. you look into that person's soul and see if he wants to be with you. baby, I will get down on one knee and ask you to be my wife. didn't I tell you my heart couldn't be strong if you are not watching over me? both of us have to want this. sometimes my heart feels like walking out and finding someone else but what would my wife say about that? so you have to stay on my mind, so we can find one another again.

    Let's see if I can bless this verse. what goes up must come down. this that music you can't touch. ninjas had ever since I was 13 until 23 to get their shit right. I came back home damn I pass you twice that's what jay z said in his song. when you are on top of your game. there's nobody that can take that from you. I learned since I was a kid that ninjas will give you nothing. what have you taught me about this game? I had to learn the streets by myself and I must say I learned it well. you can't take that from me.

    As days go by what is a man supposed to do? if I fall will you pick me back up and help me get on my feet? this is the beginning of our life. what will you do for me that I won't do for you? I can't figure you out. one minute you are with me and the next minute you want to leave. how am I supposed to know what you think about this relationship? knowing you are my queen and I'm your king? baby yes I miss you am I a widow? this is the question I am asking myself. please if you hear me answer me.

                                                               CHAPTER 99

    God, what more can I do for you? I come to you Lord with my head held up. asking you for forgiveness, do you accept my prayer? my people are dying of senseless crimes like murders. people have to wake up. sometimes I feel like I'm the only one rushing to you. the thought of life left here to see you and her the trust is there. being in your life for a reason thank you for guiding me through hard times. yes, I look up to you for everything that this life has in it. please stay by my side then I will know this thing that I'm working on will go well.

    Lay I'm sitting here thinking about your mother. preparing to speak to her one day. what will I say well let me start by saying? I'm going to tell her her daughter is wonderful and she always says she can't wait for you. that's why I had to come and get you from heaven so you can walk with me. are you her I'm asking you this because I'm looking for her. my life wouldn't be the same without her in my life? do you take this woman to be your wife yes I do and do you take this man to be your husband yes I do?

    Embrace what you love and do it to the fullest. be proud of what you have accomplished in your lifetime. grow one with your partner. my partner is inside of me and her power is controlling the rain because I have this dot on my hand and it's a black cloud that needs water to mix with this tree to grow. the way she respected me by coming inside when things could've gotten out of hand. that's what a wife does for you. I wish people tell the truth about why things happened because I came back home and then everything stop.

    You can't touch what you can't feel. your first move can cost you your life. in everything going on finding yourself by yourself. making way for you to get out of the situation that you are in by staying true to yourself. never give up on what you want. this shit ain't for everyone so you have to believe in it. you have to take this shit seriously if you want it go after it. make sure you give it your all. never turn your back on your dream. people get sidetracked real easy not me I'm staying focused.

    Please seeing her brings tears to my eyes. you see the shit that's going on but you know how this young man gets down. I never get upset with things I can't fix. when you look in the eyes of a true ninja. what do you see in my eyes? the pain of a person that been in this game for a long time now. I have been doing this for some time now. handling street business is all I want to do. where that weed at over there then he walks and I'm pulling out the wire shot one shot two my man telling me to relax I'm telling him I'm making.

    The closer I get to you. climbing over everyone to get to you. what she saw in me no one saw it and she is in charge of this life we live. please don't walk away stay here with me. you tell me you are that 036 babies how will I know? I'm taking my mask off so you get to see my face and the real me. I'm not hiding from who I am. I am showing my true colors. is that the man you fell in love with her answer was yes. the more we grow the more we understand one another. baby, please don't let me down.

    Come on with what you want. what about what I want out of life? you stay on that bull shit telling me I'm nothing. let me get something straight with you. who do you think you are talking to? watch your mouth let's not fight at all. let's be at peace fighting gets us nowhere. knowing that we are dying inside as we get older. I can't take the back-and-forth yelling at one another. you are supposed to be my heartbeat. you are supposed to fight for me. let's come to an understanding of where our life supposes to be.

    My name is little l’s. I had a lot of friends that I fuck with. They were Some older men one name blank and one name blank to tell you the truth blank was one of my soulmates on the drug tip. Chopping grams up with wake. Wake was l’s daughter. In all little l’s had About 80 keys of cocaine. blank wanted to go out of town. He needed l’s to go with him L’s saying not yet. He wasn’t rushing him but that was the type of move that blank was Making. 

    Wake hands hurting from chopping all of them grams up. L’s telling her With the rest of the keys we have to go out of town. So wake was like alright. blank is Out of town doing his thing out there. Money was coming in from all of the work that we had. It’s looking Like it’s paying off. Too many moves were made that had the feds mad. They wanted to Lock anybody that was down with this they didn’t give a fuck.

    They want what we were doing shut down quickly but we do not giving a Fuck about jail. We knew that some people can’t be that trusted. With all of this money, People will hate even people that work for you in this game. I had no choice but to get back where I’m supposed to be at. Not Giving a fuck about the people that did what they did to me. The best thing for me to Do was to not give any of them handshakes until I was where I needed to be. 

    Let them watch the money stack up in front of them. I had to play catch up now that my money passes them I can make moves as I need to without selling drugs and Working on my writing. The last thing does not talk about shit you don’t know. This game is so fucked up you got mad people telling. That’s why I Wouldn’t get in this game with some people. I’m a true person and I will never talk about What is going on with me and my friends.

    Words that come out of my mouth can’t even explain what I have Going on in our life. The pressure of a family growing and the kids having things is on Me and you know I had to handle that. How can we make up for the lost time? We need to get together real soon. 

    It seems like a lot of kids are being born. Layla, I hope she remembers what I told her When I saw her and knows where she’s at in my heart. We had a lot of conversations about what we wanted to do. So why Wouldn’t I make what we talked about come true? For the last seventeen years, I have been making It work for us. Damu always wears the color green around my neck.

    Are you the one for me? so today I will see I'm not looking for a child wondering if this is true. every day the prayer goes up if it's true. looking into her eyes gives me the chills. I'm looking for someone to help me out when it's time to get this business together is it you. the way things are going maybe it's true. you are doing everything to let me know that you are faithful but are my thoughts getting stronger for no reason, picking her up and holding her in my arms? 

    This blood shit stuck with me from a kid. this dot com on my hand. all ninjas want to do is hustle out here. I'm ready for whatever comes my way that the game has to offer. place your bet on how much money I got, holding this title as a drug kingpin. putting this shit on my back. on the other hand, follow the rules. the right way and never give up. so what if people think you doing wrong? follow your path and something good may come from it. Being one with yourself means you can be one with the grind that you are on.

    If you plan on winning in this life. stay humble and level-headed. if the only thing you want to do is flip bricks. you have to stack the money that you make. you never know when things can get hard. you have to save up for a rainy day. it ain't nothing to go in the stash to get money. yes, I have to prepare myself for the worse with no hesitation. people always want to see a young man that's getting chips to fall off. you watch my back while I watch my front. this shit doesn't make any sense about the way we as black men think.

    Save me or let me go on about my business. I can't understand why you let me down. you talk a good one about you know what. you can't make a female or a male change. people are going to keep doing what they want to do. you have to show your partner in a relationship that you are here for one another. saying one thing and doing another. what do you want out of this relationship. the only way one can figure you out is by you telling me what's wrong if we don't communicate with one another how will I know?

    Taking things one day at a time. please don't hold back your love. seeing me looking at you. the way your body is shaped. it gets me in the mood to do everything to your body. that you will let me do to you. Are you crazy if you don't think I love you? sex lasting for hours almost all night long. you are willing to go all night but the sex is so good that I tap out early can you blame me? the reason may be because I'm sipping and I'm a little tipsy can you blame me? the motion in and out of you baby you are so beautiful.

    Where are we going? let people say what they are going to say about us. she's saying she wants a changed man. baby boys don't change you need a man. call it what you want she has made mistakes too. deep down in my heart moving on may be hard. why look up to you oh because you are up in heaven waiting on me. I can't wait to see you again. the only way a female will be able to join us is if she has the key to Jesus' soul. when you see me and look me in my eyes do you see blood tears baby I'm trying to be a man.

    So you have everything together right? so you're not lost out here right. so why are you sleeping with any and everyone out here? sorry, shorty that means you are lost. what are you looking for love right? as busy as one could be. watch what you say around people that want to have sex with you. so there are so many females willing to lie down with me. ether you coming over here or are you over there? this body is for trustworthy females and if that's not you bye. she says I'm brainwashing her not me I'm just telling you facts.

                                                              CHAPTER 100

    What did I do to deserve you? you keep me on my feet. baby, you couldn't understand the way I feel about you. I'm not looking for anyone else but you. one of the reasons I cheated I mean what you let me do. hurts my heart this is my sorry. I have been apologizing for some time now and if you need to hear it again I'm sorry. the way you kiss me and look me in my eyes. this should be a crime the way you make my soul feel. I'm trying to keep everything on track because one mess-up can cause us everything.

    Yes, the temptation is pressure but you have to follow your mind. Maybe God will help you through those hard times in your life. battling what people say because I have my mind. that will lead me in the right direction. what am I supposed to do about her leaving me because I did so much to her. she said she's never looking back, what she said she meant it because she's no longer in my life. when your baby girl died on that day and five days after that and seven after that meant the world to me.

    The way you go shows what type of person you are and who will you become in the future. I never meant to lie to you. God had a plan for me and yes I gave myself to him. bow down in front of him and he will rise you up and will walk with you. if there's anything you can't do he will guide you through it trust me. being one with him means you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. it's like a domino effect.

    Let's stand strong and handle the outcome of any situation. people may ask how much more you need. never let up grind until you can't grind anymore. what a working man has to do to stay above water. I don't want my ninjas out here dying it's more we can do out here like uplifting our black men. making a way out of the streets. follow the rules that we get down for. never let a person have the upper hand. the struggle is real out here and we should understand that.

    What was the dream about you may ask me. fighting for my life. keep pushing is what he said and then he said you found me. you better believe I'm right next to you. the game fuck it handle your business and don't worry about who's having sex with whoever. I'm telling him I still remember the $20 you put on the shelf of the closet in the same place I grab the baby nine and aimed for the temple. asking me in the car if I was ready to take over the family business. meaning what this drug empire is.

    We as a people have to do better to get a team that can't be touched. building wealth by trying your best to get the best investment people behind you. nobody wants to be rich when their young and wild and when they get older they have nothing to show for it. I want my team to get money yes it's on its way taking my time. I want my people to grow as people. people may not see it the way I see things. sometimes people want to give up on life and fall for anything. looking at my daughter makes me work harder trust me.

    So I'm looking for a girl. tell me if you want to be my girlfriend. one that wants to go out on the town dancing all night unto the sunrise. you are the one in my path looking at you. you are my baby be here never turn your back on me. treating the one you love is not tricking that's providing for her. what's so wrong with that nothing and whoever thinks differently? can go to hell am I heaven sent that's another connection.

    What if we break up what will I do from here on? maybe look for another shorty that will take her place. I'm not looking for one that has all of the ways as her. sorry for the way people treated you in the past but why do you think I'm the same? this right here is a grown man. miss me with the bull shit. the only thing I know is we do better and better things will happen to you. show and tell her how much you miss and love her.

    What do you think about dancing with the devil? everything is show and tell I mean the best way to show life. this is the mission that you have to step into the world with. riding down the highway I95 on a mission and the mission was to get the work to the south. how do you figure your life can change quickly you never know what a man has in store for you. if it ain't one thing it's another. drawing from the bank giving it all to you now you balling out of control. what else is there for me to do?

    Creating the game from nothing. ninjas stayed rolling deep getting money. why would I fall back? pushing for money by staying in these streets. everyone wants to get money. holding her hands dancing this is impossible first she wants me but she's saying oh no. grabbing this female and taking her out for the night. what more can I say? she's always talking about how she wants me. being her only for the rest of her life. this goes out to the players that are in this game. this shit doesn't change.

     Somehow some way. holding this mic rapping about the good time I spent with you. I can remember the time sitting there next to you. while you doing what you do to me. after it was overtime again it looked nice to go outside. you should be proud of what you did for me because I am thankful for you. taking care of an older man. thinking about the time we will spend together when we get older. you showed me things that I never knew whether you know it or not. how you looked at me seeing you today. the faith that this man be a good father to your child.

    This is the place that I want to be. yes, hard work does pay off. I remember sitting in the house and realizing I had to go out and get the money one way or another. ninjas never want to see you doing your best. how can we come together and help each other out? yes, I am trying to buy and invest in companies. that's where all of the money came from. I will continue to work you can't outwork me. the grind doesn't stop at all. you should play your part and strive for what's right. the game is over I can't see myself going to black justice.

    Who can stop a person that put his mind to what he wants to do? growing up is a part of living if you don't grow up. you will find yourself in deep. I can't be out here acting like I don't give a fuck about my life. sometimes you have to associate yourself with people that are getting money. if your crew has a strong leader. you will go far in life. step by step things will grow. that's why I count my blessing. the man upstairs gives you what he wants to give you. just in case you didn't know walk light and carefully.

    Thinking about her makes me feel some type of way. being out of town doing everything wrong that one can do. but don't forget I didn't step out on you. baby, my world was turned into a nightmare. people getting killed right before my eyes. people that got murdered hit home I guess that's why I am the way I am. just imagine holding the fort down. a young man had the world on his shoulders. I still miss the times we had running around handling business. nobody couldn't tell us anything.

    Excuse me miss she's telling me she has a boyfriend and so what. you better not play with me about that. my girlfriend is inside of me. when I move she moves that's why I'm looking for someone to change her life into or is the lady I think she's inside walking with her. so she calls me saying happily belated I'm saying I couldn't get the phone call at the right time. how do you know what I like and no guessing but you can be a guest of mine to join me for dinner.

    If being the man that changed his life for the better. I can't be mad at you. this is what our young and old black men need to do. why are we still acting like a child when we have children? I want to learn more from others. a conscious mind is well developed. we think of what we can do to improve our lives. others think about what they can get right now. I want to see into the future and what it has in it. I need thinkers on my team if that's you then you can get down with me.

    The more you write the more your mind goes places it never thought it could go. you may ask what is the right move a man can make in these streets. building self-equity for himself. making sure his children have something when I pass away. yes, I have to think into the future because if I don't who will? I have to make sure my children are ahead when I die for them to have the best life. leaving my children a company that I built from the ground up is amazing to me. creating an outlook for them to continue to succeed.

    The more we go to war the more people are going to die. are you ready for that I have to think smarter than you if I want to be the person that lives on. you have to make the money now. nowadays you can't be the man that you want to be because women think that every man is the same. when you find a changed man you don't even notice it. you always say that there's nothing different.

    They can't fade me before it's my time. you have to remember I'm still young and at my best right now. how does that look letting you take my place? it can't happen because I'm in it for the long run. what do you want from me I promise myself that I wouldn't help you out with your problems. I can't smoke so you know I'm popping bottles is what I'm doing. I move at my pace not fast or slow just right.

    Just started this life of mine getting back to where I needed to be for people that's been with me from day one. my children do not have to explain what they went through without their father but I'm here to make it better. just look back on my life I meant that it was headed in the wrong direction but I changed it up and headed in the right direction. I hope all of the girls that are in my life love me as I love them.

                                                            CHAPTER 101

    Sexy the hold time I'm crying mean what do you wipe the tears from my eyes. it does not stop everyday people have to live their life. by the time I get out of the ghetto, my children should know how hard I worked. what's the difference between girls and boys not too much do they want to go out and work for themselves knowing that they are in power themselves. some girls don't need a man to take care of them. that's what I like to see. they don't give a fuck about us. I'm here what did it look like they are the victim but in reality, I'm the victim?

    It does not get better for me it's more drugs watch how I handle this. it ain't hard to tell who has money and who does not have money in this game. when I got back I must a meant that I was aiming for the top and take down whoever had it you know who that was right now look at you. taking care of what's on my plate and aiming for more. I have to do so don't ask any questions about what's going on and how I get money in this game. playing the part that was given to me by Jesus Christ.

    So she's having a baby, the joy it would bring to know that I'm the father. but how when I never laid with her. the birth seed on my hand. tells me that it could be possible that she's carrying my child. the story begins in faith holding your hand while our baby is born. what you show her or him I know you will show ether or something special. be great as a mother. only time will tell if your heart is with mine. the thought of you raising my child or is it all just in my head?

    She's always telling me I'm cheating, and what other women I want to be with. you are the love of my life. baby girl you changed me for the better. I tell you in our mind conversation how much I love you. growing with you everything you can go through trust me I've been through it. my smartness is growing on you. you do things the right way. I'm trying to show you the same respect you show me right? that's how it's supposed to be. I'm trying to be true to you, the mother of my children are you okay?

    Finding myself meant for me to find us as a family I rather Have it this way I’m God's Body to my kids I do love you. I know when I sent y'all To school some girls didn’t like you. but I didn’t sin y'all to school to fight so wake told me What happen and me being your father got upset and guess what I handle it as a man. I wonder why people had to die because first come y'all and you know that.

    D rob me I just pray for my death in hands of another person. These thoughts keep coming but people like layer keep I person like me on the right path. Who murdered me you've been making drug deals with the other side it’s nothing new to Me but I got people why do you think you got hit? I meant that my love is strong but not stronger for what was done to me. I meant that hard times came and I had to depend on these streets. It Prepare me for what was in these streets.

    The grind by hustling I don’t want in anymore. But I can’t get out right now so I’m handling mine and nobody’s going to stop me. Performing is that what you want out of everything yes. for the most part we were a family that had everything. I’m not saying it like that but we were alright. I made sure every holiday we had. I know money isn’t everything.

    You can’t understand why the setup was in order but you know what I said about that fuck them and father family was with me at a time of need. I promise myself when the time comes I will close everything and anything that they have. tuff if it had to be like that for those bitch as people. I know I promise myself that I wouldn’t say the N-word but some people deserve it. My whole life without my father but I am a man people look in different ways wake me up.

    I can understand what Nas meant in thugs mansion. I Can't Cry but it’s killing me from the top of my heart. You touch down from being out of Town without knowing if will I be back but who cares about the family that was up there? why do people call their girlfriends bitches. Sometimes they make us heart broking and we can’t take things from them. But as long as I got a mother I will not call you a bitch.

    So now we are at a standstill in life. where do we look and where do we go in life? this mean 2017 all of this happened too fast. yes, I want to keep you in my life, how can you move on and forgive me? you should be here now and forever, please don't say I didn't warn you about the love I have for you. the more we put in this relationship the more we are going to get out of it. I'm telling you this from my heart. both of you need to look at what you have in this life. if you want to go out there be my guess. you have two options to be here or out there.

    Show me what you want me to see. that's the only way I will understand you. let me know if the numbers add up. I'm taking the city by storm and all I want to do is keep banging so I and my ninjas can keep eating. being out of town with my young gangsters getting to it. the way I move down there. all I want to say is that drug dealers like you but don't handle business as you do. running around with a lot of folks, trust me they do not play. that's why I had to get in the mood with drugs. carrying the gun on me. ready and willing to get at any person feel me.

    How's your day going I know it's a special day for you. youngster can't wait until her day comes. Do days keep flying how do you feel? the love that I have for you. your body is calling me. celebrate your day the right way. there's more accomplishment for us. I will never let the both of you down. holding my heart kept me closer to you. what is the one thing you want from me? how about we stay faithful to one another until we go to heaven? the music plays songs in my head for you. in time we will have everything that we want. it's taking time rite I know.

    The way blacks treat one another. when one thinks outside of the box is unbelievable. just because my mind is on my company shouldn't mean I'm not the same man because I don't want to sleep with girls that sleep with a lot of other men. Do you think I'm the crazy one look at us for a minute and tell me who's winning. I'm not trying to compare us to other races. all we know is hoes and hitches just because I want to better myself makes me an outcast no it makes me a thinking man. that want a woman that has plans for her future. that's all I'm saying.

    How can we have strong young black females if we are treating them like that? try to walk in my shoes. I'm trying to follow my mind and it's telling me to look for the right one. not everyone wants to be in the streets all of their life. I got other things on my mind. you see how these females act and what they are doing using men for money. sleeping with any and everyone, when I decide to lie down. I pray to God she is that special woman. one that I love what's wrong with that? you want one that sleeps with any and everybody. I have no problems in my life. looking at the ones that I care for I hope you are here with me.

    You always tell me to call you if there's something wrong. my world is turning upside down on the brink of an eye. are you stepping out on me? it's a simple yes or no baby I need to know. the way the world is going I need women in my life. it's not alright to cheat on your lover. everyone wants to be like the important females. meaning the ones that are out there having sex for money. I want to plan a future with you. why are you telling me to wait is there someone else you're into and it's not me? the hurt I feel but I'm alright. I'm going out tonight.

    Since I lost you my world has never been the same. I'm thinking I should move on but looking for one that's just like you. I will never find someone like you. you handle all of my business when I was on the streets. I remember you use to hit me for big stacks. every time you came to see me. I had the bag for you. even when I was handling business you were there to pick up the money. you were my ride-or-die female, weren't you? after all of this time, you still hold a special place in my life.

    All of have in this world is my balls holding it up. what you know about the streets that you are into out here. the mind should stay on money. try not to fall off before things happen. you may not understand who the ones to mess with are. the dog is hungry at all times. heaven might come back to where the blood starts hitting the streets. that's all ninjas are waiting for me to give them the word and it will start. the way you move should be uplifting give me a second to get my shit together. how will you know when a female is using you? you won't know so continue to get your money.

    What you thought I couldn't break it.  let's leave the past in the past from here on. yes, I made it to the finish one more after this. the work I put in you will never find a ninja that put this much work in. I'm telling you about every part of my life that I went through. when I came home I didn't know where I was going because I was fighting to get back into your life. you know I put my heart into this here and it will never stop. that's the reason you help me out. I'm back in your life. she knew what I was worth. accomplishment feels so good to me and I want to thank you for believing in me.

    Now that we made it to where we need to be. we can go on with our lives and live happily ever after. the work I put in took a lot out of me but for our family I did it. I will never look back at the fact that you and I can love each other again. looking forward in time this is the relationship I wanted. this life right here means the world to me. you made me this strong man and I am proud to call you my wife. the way you walk the way you talk the way you look at me. how can this love be is what I am asking you, yes you are my world?

    When you manhandle you won't be waking up with breakfast in bed. I want one that knows what she wants for herself, not one that's lost. the fighting no the cheating no. I'm looking for the one that will mother a child for me. I'm not in any rush to jump in bed with a girl. one that has nothing going on for herself means nothing because you can't grow with her. one that's educated one that's thinking about the future. when a man feels a woman he will know that she's the one for him. looking maybe hard but trust me I have all of the time in the world.

                                                               CHAPTER 102

    I want a friend and a lover. people may say I'm soft because I want more for myself. seeing all that men and women go through. I want to change the way I think about women because not all females are strong enough to hold me down. people say different so I met my match or should I say my soulmate like hova said, you are the rock that holds me together whether you know it. the way you keep me on my toes. you are my partner in crime, the things you know about yes you took it to the grave with you. if you play your cards right.

    When you have things that a young-minded girl wants she will do whatever it is you want. she can be older or young and wise. it's all how she was raised, making love to you no because I'm working don't get it twisted I want to be there. one way or another I have to work. how about getting together when we get older? you always told me to put our family first before anything and that's what I am doing. people make mistakes and I'm sorry. the new me knows what I want out of life. you can't tell me one thing and do it differently.

    She says stick to the rivers and lakes that I'm used to and that's what I am doing, turning my back on my family God may not like that. I can't go chasing waterfalls, the firstborn was a boy and her last name start with that and she's turned into a girl. two children each child was a boy with a girl stuck inside of them. so I guess now that we are here back on earth. that means two are females and one boy triplets. they say God works in mysterious ways. the man upstairs knows what he is doing. he places me in this position for a reason.

    What if I told you I was diggin' on you? what would you say you love my dam! you should be here with me in the park. there can't be light and dark in the same place at the same time. you are my queen trust me. yes, you get me upset changing your mind after all we've been through. you know how much I care about you. what is today the 4th of July? the second you stop thinking about me. I will get mad at you. show me love and affection before I go somewhere else. you know I'm just playing but you know I need some attention.

    How can I hold my ground in a world full of a bunch of ninjas getting money? I tell them I stand out I'm one of a kind and don't forget it. this is the calling for my ninjas that bust their guns. you know where to find me. I'm so dedicated to the ninjas that fuck with me. if a ninja trip trying to get this money make sure you get right back up. how is it so many ninjas supposed to be getting it? what you think this ain't the shit. ninjas died for this shit and ninjas going to black justice for this fuck that. I'm not giving the folks know time feel me.

    Battle all sorts of things. people do not understand me for no reason at all. trust and respect who you are dealing with before something goes wrong. have faith that your partner is doing right by you. never give up on her stay faithful to her. deal with things as they come. what should a young man do? when he thinks about the one that you love. what am I supposed to do when the one you love gives up on you? you fight for her and everything will be okay in your relationship. they do and don't in a relationship should be one an understanding about life.

    What one should do without the one by his side in this life? everyone has their ups and downs. I'm trying to protect you for all the better. people may not understand the way people see things or why it's so hard to take care of you. what should she accomplish when she's with you? the thought of people with you means the world to me. grinding for her every single day of both of our life. when you see things that she's into may have a better outlook on life. for the most part, stand by her and take care of her.

    The only way to find out if a person is personal with you is she can't be cheating on you. you should always show her more love. the way things are going means the world to me. show you care and have compassion for one another. you never want to show you don't care about her okay. she can be the love of your life one day then she can be at her worst the next day. I want her to understand that nothing in this world is going to change how I treat you. it doesn't matter how much money I have or if I have nothing. you showed me love and I show you love back.

    The thought of leaving you. people try to guide me in the wrong direction but I'm not falling for it. I know my shorty will be next to me. you can't call all of the black women hoes and hitches. the down talk is what they want us to think. my shorty isn't here anymore oh know she's here in another soul. she's living her life buying what she wants. when you support women that woman can help you grow into a strong black man trust me. if you not giving them something to look forward to a course they're going to be lost and be sexing everyone for money, not mine.

    You better follow the rules to a tee. please don't push what we have to go into a relationship not just yet. you have to get to know me first right? you always tell me you want more from me. what you mean is the world of our relationship is in your hands. I'm upset at the fact you don't hold me down for real. getting next to a baller please shorty you ain't all that. when you grow up from being a youngster. you look at the world differently. what do you get out of cheating on me nothing right? you better straighten up before things get messy feel me.

    We knew what it was when we became a part of it. baby, I hope you understand everything was for you. the one I miss so much, at times I go to sleep with you on my mind. I want you to know exactly what I feel in my heart. holding onto the times we had back in the past you always made me smile. you made me show a part of myself that I never showed. that's the way you had my heart and there's nobody that can replace you my fault yes there is and I hope she is showing me the same love that I showed her. the way you use to help me out. I will never forget that trust me.

    The things you do for me. shows you care about me and thinking about me. sometimes I want to let go and move on because I don't know what you are doing. there are other girls out here. I need one that is looking to love me. my whole heart is for you and our family. why do I have to go through this every day of my life? we both need to get our shit together from here on. you always make moves without me that's what she said to me. how do you want me to move? even when you do things you do not include me. why is that?

    This blood shit we in mother fuck the other side. you better be prepared for the gangster hustle deep in the game. you watch what you do. I'm telling you're ninjas get your money. how can you fuck with me? if you have never been outside of your comfort zone. this here is a no-fly zone. New York City plays for keeps. ninjas always want to say I'm the man. sex money murder. this red shit is all I live by. let's get something correct 5 is still popping. get money fuck what ninjas say game over.

    Ninjas cross me at the end of the day. I wasn't even getting money at that time. just got out from a murder trial let me change that I got out on bail. x said if the Feds looking for the dog oh that ninjas out of town. who wants to bang or number 11? when I was a young ninja body after body. that's how a young ninja was on it but I changed for the better. ninjas still want the guy to get back on his bull shit. I look my children in their eyes and I can't go back feel me. this shit will get a ninja killed. I still got ninjas that still catch bodies out here. the streets don't change follow the leader.

                                                       CHAPTER 103

I must a meant that Harlem’s at its best I do not respect everyone that’s in here don’t ask me why. you have to live your life and take care of your dreams and only good will come from it do not set trip. when it’s on and that’s from the heart. do not worry about them handle yours feel me. when her death became true handle yours right now and don’t worry about anything. what you need to worry about is me.

If that’s what they want then give them war and do not be scared of them. when you have me right by your side we can handle whatever it is. you rather be woke why is it that? I’m sleeping because of you not all but why would I lie? stay stronger than anyone out there.

They can’t hold me for long you're right I was out of town but I’m thinking about the get back. my drug money didn’t ever stop. it didn't matter if I had to do it hand to hand or keys and pounds coming over here for me. things do not get to me, when it’s about my family then it becomes a problem. the question isn’t where I have been, it’s about what I’m here now, and doing for you isn’t a problem with me.

The direction that I’m going in. I hope that you are following me because it’s the best place that you could be and it’s a great place to raise children. out for all that these companies can give me. the act has grown that’s what ladies are looking for in a man. not men that just want to use there you know what. having kids isn’t a game a lot of kids are having kids. they are not ready for what's in store.

What crossing me means for them fuck the other side. I have seen the south not just visiting it being out there with guns. it’s four told when you ask blank about what we went through but l’s knowing it’s hot. fuck they sent ATF to the house I’m going out in cuffs. 2 months isn’t that long for me I will do it. going to the next step thanks to lay. how can I get out of that check? just stay focused on home and every moment will help you out. troubles some acting as 2pac will say warning as biggie smalls will say.

Riding with guns ready to find who we are looking for. status is now turned on 101. sex money murder has bones to pick with you so do not get caught up. looking from the outside looking inside of the home that I take care of looks good to fail the way I was brought up isn’t right for me and you know why I think I might need help from an angel from heaven.

Can’t count you out what does that mean I have my angels watching me and every move that I make. a place where there’s no fighting or crimes or dying twice. the only thing is coming back to earth. hell can’t call me to go down there but me not knowing if am I already in hell. there are a lot of deaths people are into too many drugs. as black people we are showing our kids that the game is alright.

I can’t believe that they cross me for money. when it wasn’t my time to die but you know what you help me because there are a lot of people that praise me. I try not to be out at night because anything can happen. the pain part of my story is under God I miss my mother a lot and I will make sure that I see her again. just to be here with my writing it feels good to be so far in my thoughts.

The path that I was on wasn’t the right one. my girlfriends do not want me to sell drugs again. it wasn’t the best move that I made but a lot came from it. like having a lot of money building businesses. this is how you wanted it and I mean problems to all who go against sporty. how many more days do I have to take this from you? you wanted to be on top and that’s what you got. I’m working to better my life and thank God for all that I am blessed with because without him this wouldn’t be possible. it wasn’t just for me to come up. it was for me to get back into my children's life.

Do not remind me. I'm trying to get paid, my money on my mind. I will not let them know. yes, I'm riding in the whip smoked up. I know that it's hell down here, you can't think like that. I have to keep grinding by myself. my business is on my mind you heard me. money before sex I will never change that alright. I'm about that life the same way that you are bout it. we get paper collect cream. I fuck with these young gangsters. flipping bricks is not a game. I'm covered here.

                                                   CHAPTER 104

Now my body is personal the love is there. you can always find me on the grind. gangster passion you know how and who did it. cover arms hold my head. in this world, you can get money. dogs business is a must you know that. what are people doing out here? I do not know but I got to trust myself for now. my paper is correct grams the loot is what I'm waiting on.

I came from the bottom and now I'm at the top. dogs know gangster I'm blowing money because I had to get rich. being smart writing poetry. uptown keep it between us. I do not want anyone to get hit up. this is the rule all day every day. over the gate this is how it goes. that's my word dot I'm coming home doing big things. I understand that the game isn't like it used to be but they make it out to be and I understand money is the only thing that's on these people's minds.  

I have to take my time out here because you can get set up. people act like they can't get murdered on these streets. I know the game well and I have to protect myself from people that are in it. there are bad and good things that come from it. a lot of people talk about it but they do not know the outcome of this game.

I have no time for people and how they feel about me. I try to set my goals high in life. I am a good person to know. I love my life and what I have done with it. people think it's all about money. that's not what I am about I put my family first. I have no fear I just got a lot of love for the game. people got the game fucked up now, what happened to the trust that it had in it. I know all of the old-time drug dealers are looking at us like some of us are doing it wrong.

Some people just want to murder you for a name. then there are people that you have beef with that want you murdered. then some people just hate on you for whatever you are doing. I have a dream that has to come true. this man that's helping me out with this music is the only one that knows how hard it is doing this. you and I have to stay on point at all times in this game.

They act like they are the only ones that are getting money out here. I and this man is at the bottom and that's where he wants me until we finish writing. I can't understand why he wants me here with him. I just hope he's leading me in the right direction. then I ask myself this is the path that he's taking. so why wouldn't it be the right path? me learning from him is a blessing, that's why I plan on keeping it going.

He showed me that money isn't everything. he's a family man just like I am. working is one of the best gifts that I have. he's the only one that has the same amount of money that I have out here. everyone does not understand the pain that I had to go through for my family to be okay but I know that they are okay because of me. I have to say that I made the right moves on these streets.

I know that if something happens to me people that work for me would want to find out who did it to me. that's why I have a lot of people that work for me. I'm prepared for the outcome that the game has in it. everyone has to set a goal in their life. my goal is to open up my company, I know it's going to take everything that I have to open it up. I know if it opens up I will be okay but it's taking time for it to open up.

The best part of my life is when all of this is over and I have my company. girls like men that are getting money well I have to stay com and let everything come to me and then I will be alright. writing everything down that's on my mind on paper. pages after pages like daddy do all of the time to make moves like this. I was able to close that part of my life, I had closed it.

The moment you take charge. the more you have power over everything. I want you to have your own. yes, we are supposed to get the money together. yes, you are first in line. I can't understand the way the game is going. don't hate the player hate the game. don't hate ninjas getting money to respect the grind that that person has. when ninjas are in the streets. all morning and all night. people that are on their grind hustle 24/7. that's the way it's supposed to be. when you roll you roll deep. taking care of business out here is a must at all times.

                                                        CHAPTER 105

This is how the story goes. stay awake from here on. never doubt what another ninja can do to you. when you fall back that's when ninjas want to get hard. yes my guns do bark. you never know who's on your side until you get in some real beef. you have to learn the streets and learn it swell. I swear to God you better be in it until you can't ride anymore. ninjas out here saying they're gangster but I don't see it. how do you see the streets nowadays fam. you should never run from a challenge. staying above water that's all I want to do.

Godly what has the world come to when you tell a ninja to get your gun before I pop you? you say I'm always in the mix but I don't see it that way. you should know right from wrong. yes, I'm asking you who taught you street life. you should be in and out. the quicker you get it you should stack it. the more you make moves you should always respect older ninjas than you. the game nowadays everyone's trying to play it. It's two ways out death or in black justice trust me. the way you are going you will end up in black justice or dead.

Holding onto you before you leave me. you in the house I'm not saying you can't go and enjoy yourself. all I am saying is respect my gangster before you turn me back into when I was 15 and I know you don't want that. people say what happened in the past keep it in the past. I'm not that person anymore. my player card is been out of order for a long time. shorty I'm sure to get you open feel me. eclipse, when you look up, do you see me? holding onto what I have. yes, she walked past me. where are you I know you chilling?

Calling you out when you see the things I did for the game. what's your name or should I say what should I call you? you want to be my wife but first, you have to pass a couple of tests. you will not believe what she said to me. she told me to up my game because I still ride the bus and train. the richest people in the world dress in plain clothes. it ain't about what I drive. my company is building fast. so don't miss out on what I have to offer. just because I'm not fronting doesn't mean I don't have it but I'm going to let you think what you want to think. 

When it comes down to it. I pass my test on being faithful to you. you haven't had a worry in the world in all of your life. I have been hustling I've been working. this here isn't easy I just want you to know that. this shit is hard. I'm trying my best to take care of you. I fight every day to provide for our family and it's taking everything out of me. being able to control my feelings and stay on top of my writing. writing every day all day and all night. trying to make things right for us and yes it's paying off. keeping my head in this book. fighting for what I believe in.

You should always come to me. if anything goes wrong never go anywhere else. I'm taking my time and yes it's going to take a little more time than usual but I want you to know that I'm putting everything into getting myself back on my feet. yes, I'm trying to make the right moves now. I have been in this game for a long time now. 25years is a long time being in the game. every time I see you I think about doing right by you. therefore I try to handle my business the best way I know how to handle it. sometimes you have to know your place to take advantage of the opportunities that God has given you.

Catch me if you can. shorty there's no pressure over here. I see you out and about. there are things that you can do and there are things that you can't do. please don't disrespect me because I don't disrespect you. so far so good don't get caught up in the bull shit. the money will keep coming in. one move and I'm taking everything. your best bet is to fall back. I do not want you to be in the mix with other people. that's like me because I know how I think and another ninja might be thinking the same thing that I'm thinking and that's sexing you.

Growing is a state of mind. you can be grown but still think young. the way you move out here tells how you have grown up. I'm trying to give my family options in life like which way they want to go. the best part about it be you will feel good about yourself. the hard work will pay off trust me. the long nights will pay off. the studying will pay off. you are royalty to me. I'm here trying to make you a better woman. one that can be trusted in life. one that knows how to take control of her life without a man.

Dear love, I'm thinking about how I'm going to start this. you always making a young brother wait for you. I want to rub on your back and turn you over and rub on their tits. you know I want to get you wet. what you do not want me. how can I get next to you? I want to kiss all over your body. I know it's hard to be with me because there are a lot of females out there and there are a lot of men out there. you are the only one I think of. I want to push up on you. the way your body feels when I touch you. you always make my day. the thought of you in a relationship with me.

Emotions come by the house. so I can undress you because this player is on this pimp shit. all girls want to fall in love with me. this here for me is a one-night stand so don't get in your feelings. you have a boyfriend right and I have a girlfriend, so together we can never be. you are only good for sex. If you want this money you better perform at the highest level. step into the room and lay down. she thinks she is hot with that freak shit. taking shots at who. you think you are bad yeah right, there are other females out here that look better.

                                                          CHAPTER 106

Call me what's the nasty thing you ever did. she was on the phone talking about I'm the best thing that ever happened to you. save that shit for someone that cares. you are only a one hit and then I'm done. you're not that bad anyway shorty. females come a dime a dozen. you better be grateful I choose you. now bring your sexy ass over here. she asked me do I go downtown and I said how many bodies counts you got because I only go down on females that have no body counts. she said how many bodies count you got I said men and women are different and she said why.

When you are in it to the fullest. you will die for what you believe in. the way the game is going yes it's going in the wrong direction. the good die young. I know I better straight up before the 12 come and get me. I see you doing your thing, the work speaks for itself. your money won't change up. keep your ninjas getting the money with you. do what you can while you are out here. the way shit is going I have to keep my head full focus. what do you believe in heaven or hell? when you gamble with your life shit can get out of hand. so you have to protect yourself.

The way you show you care about me.  you are the only one I want in my life. the thought of losing you will get me upset. you are the only one I look at. can you follow these things and apply them to your everyday life, yes I appreciate it. that's what she told me. I hope it was genuine. you are my world but who knows how our life will turn out? the more I step up and be there for you. the more you make me believe in the love I have for you. I'm telling you this is for a reason and you make me feel more responsible for the way I act when I'm not around you.

It's secured the way you and I think about one another. we have to be here for one another. you know the game makes people turn into enemies out here. I'm trying to stack that's what I haven't been doing but I promise my shorty I'm going to do this for her. one rule uses your mind out here. why do people play cards and why do people bet it all? I want to stack it little by little. so when I come up my family will be good. this is the way you see things but that's not the way I see things. this is not the end of the road feel me?

Until the end of time. I'm going to ride until the wheels fall off. the more you put in you get out. how can I help you become a better woman for me and not someone else? I'm trying my best to write until the days come. it's taking everything out of me but I know what I have to do. show up and perform as if this was the last day of my life right? you are so super intelligent. you have the best mind and comfortable conversation. that's what I like about you. you always say what's on your mind. thanks for letting mother come downstairs and tell me tomorrow.

Float on your love. she got me lost in her beauty. hi baby what do you need out of me? so let's chill on an island. let's go to the beach. let's get in the water, let's get faded at night. let's dance all night until the break of dawn. let's go back to the hotel room you know it's five seasons. you getting in a hot shower. the first time you didn't catch me but the second you caught me. you walking out with the towel on and your body dripping wet and I'm asking you if are you alright and you answered me yes. say know more.

In the battle of the money-getting ninjas and the stickup kids. the money-getting ninjas will stay on the block and handle business. meanwhile, stick up kids' plots on ninjas that are getting money. people like that will put the gun to your head and tell you to give everything up and trust me they are not playing. people like that you have to watch out for because they want whatever you have and they will pull that trigger. people like that love that type of shit. getting money type of ninjas don't want that problem to trust me. that's why you have to be on the low.

Help me gather more information about life and what I can do for you. being a couple yes it is hard work. but I'm putting in the work and yes I can tell you notice it. I'm trying to do the right thing while I'm here. like supporting my family and having their back at all times. listening and learning what a female love to do and what female hate doing to her. the more you show me and call me the more I feel like it's true. I need all of the help I can get because having mind thinking will help the company out trust me.

Being strong and with a lot of ambition get you far. can guide your mind to a place that the unstable mind can't compare. stay educated on what it is that you are trying to study for. the more you seek the knowledge you become a better person. strive a course pack as much knowledge as you can. the more you learn the more your mind will intensify. it's all about growth especially when you have a partner that's willing to do it for you. when you are in need you lack a relationship. I can't blame myself for what you lack, love is sharing. 

Life Goes On. when people die where do they go in the bible it reads. Jesus sits on my right hand but my dot is on my left hand. do I control heaven maybe? the reason I went out to handle business was that I didn't have my wings but now I do. two bullets one on each arm that's where my wings open up at. so I can go to heaven. maybe you think I'm saying too much but I don't think so. remember Jesus died for a reason what was the reason? I did this now so nobody after me will have to do it.

                                                          CHAPTER 107

Another one is when you feel like you balling on the court. you can go to black justice. so be careful out there before the jump-out boys come for you. the reason I leave so early is that I'm into I can't be out late. one reason is that I'm working another reason is that jake may be onto me. I'm not rushing you home to see you. the conversation we have all the time. thinking of you all day and all night. you stay on my mind. thinking the streets need me or do my shorty need me more. sitting here thinking about my family.

The Message. so if he use to cop from uptown. tell me who he was coping from me that who. the pass-off was all I needed. follow the game to the max and the macs. the way the streets call you gangster even family will change up on you. peep you in that whip ninjas started busting off. ninjas like me got low not before grabbing the toast. when we got uptown you know I had to let one off just in case. your life is on the line that's what 50 cent said beef is real but the hate is even more real. in this game, you have to watch your back. how many times do I have to tell you?

Yo get money and fuck hitches. by the time the money slows up, you can't dance with the devil. where are you trying to go to heaven or hell? some people are nice and some people are evil. when you do so much to a person. but steady asking for money or for them to do something for you. how long does it take to stack as much as you want? it takes a ninja with deep pockets to go broke or crack. you do shit for a show while I do shit for the love of the game. you got to take charge of this game. stand tall in the eyes of the beholder.

The way things are going I can't help myself but get out of the game. you have to know when to hang it up. you can't talk about other ninjas. that's where ninjas get caught up at. you never know what the other person is thinking maybe he go back and tell the person you were talking about. the best part is waking up next to the money by your side. how many ninjas does the money change hands with before going to the top that's where you sit at. what you looking for can't help you with street life. you should know right from wrong.

Call it what you want. when people have their hands out. was it all a part of you using a person for what you can get out of her? the game is fuck up right now but I got a couple of tricks up my sleeve trust me. if the money doesn't show and tell later on get back to me. yes, it's the way people live sometimes that's not the right way to live because it may come back to you. I did everything the right way. I hope I can see someone tomorrow. the world plays know games out here. you have to keep your mind right.

When you live that life. it's hard to get out of the streets. shorty keeps calling me. a course I'm answering the phone call to get close to her. yes, I'm growing my hair back for one reason and one reason only. I'm using it as a cheat code sitting in between your legs turns me on. the way you use to push that cat up on my neck. yes, it's coming back to me. this time if you are not in it for the full-time play don't ask and if you are ready call me. I can't wait until the fall come when the fog starts but it's not raining.

Yo to not give a fuck about what people think. you have to control what you say to people. stay moving before you fall off. yes it's all or nothing about the way you handle your business. you have to keep it on the low. running the streets ain't for everyone. I'm telling you the game doesn't last forever. ninjas get sent to black justice all fucking day out here. when you want to stack your money keep your head in the game. how can you win on an everyday basis? please don't fall for the bull shit. you make sure you control your feelings at all times.

Who shot you? grinding in these streets leads to different things. the question is can you control all that comes with the game? ninjas are dying people going to jail people fighting all the time. when you have something to look forward to you watch your life carefully. you never know how you are going to go out. from my understanding play by the rules and I know sometimes that can get you in trouble. let me paint a perfect picture of the drug game. yes, it is hard as hell. your own man may set you up.

I am thinking that she loves me. I do not know. if she's cheating on me. I am a strong man and I'm just making a way for me to get money. so I can do it for us when we need it. as a man it's hard. the pressure is all on me and I know you work. so some pressure is on you. if you do not want me to help you. then I guess it's over between me and you. I'm just trying to protect myself from those that don't love me.

Now that I got myself together. I can handle my business out here on these streets. I do feel bad about what happened between me and you. you didn't understand Jesus was on my side and that he gave me something to do. are you sure you want me? I know my children are involved with this. that's why I'm not mad at you. but now you have to show me you want me. I cannot see you hurt when you are the mother of my children.

                                                            CHAPTER 108

We don't play you know what it is. this is what I do because I love paper. you ninjas that don't have it like us then fall back. when you have paper girls will do anything for you. my girls love looking good. that's why they are with me because I take care of them. drugs and girls mix with most people but that's what fucks you up. they are fucking you for your money. how many ninjas do you think she fuck with that have money.

That's all they look for every day of the week. so they can buy clothes and spend that shit up. they blank for what they need and you spend money on them. so what does that mean to me nothing? you talk like I don't hold my weight around here. I went to war with you and you told the police. that's why I went out of town. I rather hate you than become friends with you understand that. my father has been locked up and that stop her from speaking to me over Easter. that hurt me and I will never forget that.

There's no way to explain what we have been through. for the kids, it's all good amen. I handle my business. the other side of me is going through it. I am right here and I am on my job for real wrong moves I know I can make. I hope there's no crime to being a father and I will take care of my kids. that's the best feeling in the world. she is living and I will make sure she knows what's popping and what I am doing. you think that I was playing only 12 years old but I know right from wrong.

It's a war that didn't stop me from grabbing the gun. can you handle it? if not then get out of the game. let me tell it. I am a saint and that's the good side of me. blood sent me out of town the right way. soon as I got down there I had to pick up the gun. this is going to be with me until I get back home. just face it we need each other. they will do whatever they have to do to break us up. we can't let that happen. I had to get back on my feet. this was God's plan. please be aware of people that want to get you hit up. this game is funny, stay on top of your game. it's hard to be on the low.

But there are a lot of things you have to do like love me. heaven is a good place to start up there I want to see how they live. nights I know how it feels to be on that bull shit. help me please you know it's hard. I just want to lay down and sleep but I stay waking up to go to hell my friends will show you what it means. I am likely to handle my business. I am on the block and I know the money is stacking up.

It doesn't matter to me. let me tell you something. if I go under it's going to be hell on earth. can't knock the hustle. the game means in the game. they just want a man that's there for them and they will be there for you. once it's gone it's hard to get it back. I saw her with another man. I am not mad about it just hurt because she didn't understand. I had something to do. beef yes gunshots exchanged. that's these people.

You have to know your role when you are in a relationship with a girl. what does it mean to be in a relationship? so who should you tell all of your secrets to? you need to know the more you depend on her. the more you understand the life you can live. you only make one relationship and you should make it count. you should always know what your partner is thinking. the more you get into a relationship the more trust will build. you have to trust your partner. you should always give her respect. so she will always respect you.

Why should we sit here and waste time? we have to continue to do for one another. stand up and be the woman that I need not one that's running these streets. you know it's always one thing that we go through and that's a lack of trust. how hard is it to defend one another? being out here in these streets? you made me believe you had my back out here. you should want more for yourself. taking care of us should always be first on my mind. never leaving anything out. try to understand the way we move. I put my family first when I am out here.

In this world, you never know what you are going to get. you have to come with everything you have to accomplish your dreams. put God first and everything will fall into place. try to remain humble at all times. be creative be your person out here. stay in your lane. do what you have to do. never take no for an answer. things may get crazy but stay focused. trust me your time is coming, the man upstairs has a plan for everyone. people may ask why it takes so long for my dreams to come true and I reply he is just testing me.

Yo, the hurt I feel right now. miss you, bro. I'm going to continue getting down and dirty. I know to do my dirt by my loneliness. the way I feel anyone can get hit right now. the money doesn't mean anything without you here on earth. you know your young brother is going to keep it hell on earth. ninjas ain't know shook ones out here on these streets. fuck that keep that shit coming until I die. ninjas better not talk shit about a real one. the game feels different that quick. who knows the way we had queens on lock? when AZ exchanged that money.

                                                           CHAPTER 109

You ain't ready for a street life baby. who called you gangster nobody. you fall back for now let's write until we can't write anymore. the heavens called you to come up there. funny last night the dot located to the heart with a slash my family. I knew something was wrong but my family nowhere I'm at. coming to an understanding that the last time we met was on that note. the problem remains with some ninjas out there. the game let people go with no worries. this is the game we choose to live. changing our life and in the new song, you said don't cross you. 

Please don't get caught up in beef with ninjas that are looking for beef. how many ninjas got to lay to rest? the way I'm feeling right now. damn dog I miss you so much. causing problems in this industry fuck it. the reach is forever. this is my last time telling you that love is stronger than ever. you better be prepared for the outcome of the streets. when you call I'm coming with the toast. that's the toast that's in my hand. please don't forget this here. it will have the rain falling for eternity if not that y'all. the slash will be slashing down everyone's temple.

There's nothing I won't do for you. I remember blank coming over to my house to cop work from me. my shorty was there. we were working on an album. you had a bag full of 25 thousand dollars. like lox and x said in money power and respect. how many keys the kid sent to you? I remember running threw queens with ninjas getting money. I can't forget about who we had beef with. trying to throw a young ninja off of his game. ninjas couldn't stand us because we were handling our business. when we were out there getting money. Of course, we had to watch our back out there.

If you are a person that looks for money. you may not be able to get money. it takes courage to make moves in these streets. how many shots I took when that 50-cent shit happened on my back. I had to escape with two bullets. each arm had a bullet scape on it. in the form of the cross. I guess God was telling me she wasn't good for me. who knows it all depends on who she fuck with. yeah starting the war back up. at any time ninjas may get hit up. people thought that might throw me off my game.

Being out there in queens. you find yourself getting involved with problems before all of these new kids came up. I have been in it ever since I was about 13 years old. taking trips there. 32 and 17 in the chamber with the thought that it will go off. who are you kidding I've been down for some time now. the beef will go away but what if I would've got hit and went missing who would've given a fuck. plus I know the game doesn't stop if a person dies but I'm going to live for my brother. I guess God wanted the cross next to him.

She Will rich ninjas. tell me how you feel about me leaving you. I can't do this anymore. I have to walk out because you and she are playing too much. what you want me to do. be somebody baby girl. the money won't stop. you stay on my mind all the time. before we break up can I hit it one more time? what you need to be doing is calling yourself a cab and bringing your sexy ass over to my place. yeah coming in the house and running straight to the bathroom piss me off. Are you saying you feel like letting me hit it right and drop me down?

I'm so glad you were in my life the whole time. when I was out of town you showed your true colors. you mean the world to me. I'm so happy being your father. this task is a blessing for me, you mean the world to me. yes, I have dreams and of course, you are in them. I can't imagine my life without my children by my side. when I wake up every day all I know be a hustle for my children. you make my life so much better. when I'm out here I focus on what I need to focus on and that right there means a lot to me trust me.

What do you know about getting the job done for the people you love? my other mother misses you. I can't wait to see you again. you do not have to respond right now. how are our children doing. tell them I said thank you. wake and miss stick I know when I see wake tears will pour out of my eyes. the thought of being with both of you. hold me tight and never let me go. I remember you calling me and telling me. you took me to get a pair of sneakers and the sneakers I choose were the reebok pumps. I just want to say thank you.

If this was a baseball game. you have to come correct at any game. what do you know about stealing bases? who will win the game? when I'm on the mal I'm hitting home runs. what do you know about birds flying high and getting down at any time for money? I want one that holds her own. how many chicks can I run threw a lot that's how many? if I wanted to, yeah she riding around in a lot of whips now. this is what you get for fucking with a person that's getting money but if she strikes out. I'm moving on to the next one and never looking back. 

How Do You Want It? tell me is it cool to have sex? when I'm in motion it ain't no stopping me. yes, she's riding on top of me and she's looking right into my eyes. you inside of me and I'm inside of her. she is telling me don't forget that this here leads to children and I'm telling her ain't it's fathers day. she replied yes it is, this is what I man supposed to do to his women right. she said you read my mind and I said how. she said being parents. let's think about tonight. she simply trying to tie me down but you know what she is bad as hell. so I don't mind.

                                                           CHAPTER 110

When the connect calls you listen to what he has to say about that shipment. I want you to send me everything you have. you only have one chance to make your mark in this game. how many ninjas got to die for respect, not me? my respect comes from my family. I'm trying to fall back for them but ninjas keep sending that girl over here. yeah, I'm trying to keep bubbling like no other. there are a lot of people in this game. you also have to plan if you want to last in this business. yeah, you make a lot of money but when you get picked up. all of that is out of the window.

What is it all about. who has more money if we put our minds together there's nothing we can't do out here. two heads are better than one. the more money we put together the bigger the shipment. you can't stop for a minute and think. what about getting a crew that can't be touched? ninjas that bust their guns with no problem. you need live wires with you just in case ninjas get out of hand. your peoples handle that shit asap. this is what you get when you deal with people that have no heart. the game is all I know. I'm trying to let the younger generation know there's another way to get money.

Do you mind me working all the time? yes, I'm missing my family. times are getting harder for us because we want to be in one another life. the way time is passing us by. you know deep down in my heart you are my world. baby how can I make this up to you? the one I miss can never be replaced or is this girl her? I'm trying to figure it out. all of the numbers add up and if she is in it for all of the wrong reasons. so help me God for planning a future with her. I could've kept my wife and us as one living every day.

All I do is work to provide for you and my future. I'm holding onto this dream that I have. I'm not letting anyone take that from me. I have to work hard and try not to overwork myself. being the head of this company everything is on me. as a man I am going to take care of my business. if she was here I would be working even harder. so let me give it 100 percent. I know she's smiling down from heaven saying I'm so proud of you or her body might be inside of someone else. this is God's plan, not mine.

What do you want from me? tell me right now you are in and out of me. you are the best baby that a man can have. you look at me and I'm looking at you. is everything, alright baby? can't wait to go to the west side. foul leaf clover feels me. saying no names because she might get mad or will she call me out. you are my baby, let's get to know one another on a deeper level. don't show your ass off. cause if she does isn't that a problem? you know better than to disrespect me. you make me feel so good at night. I'm ready to go to war for you.

If you want to move on. Let me know before I put my all into this relationship. you know you are the love of my life but what I am doing. If you don't approve walk out now. so I can find someone that will love me for me. you ask for everything hurting the way we live. I know you also work and I am proud of you. the things that I help you with keep me on my toes. how does it feel taking care of you? my heart has mixed feelings about this. you are supposed to be here for me. am I bugging out you showed a different relationship that I'm into?

Gangsters move in silence. you will never know what I'm doing. I have to keep Ninja's puzzle out here. get money and stay true to yourself. nevertheless, hold shit down and follow know one. watch everything that's moving in these streets. when it's on you can't hide from ninjas that are looking for you. Especially when you stay on the block. hide where eye-to-eye body-to-body ninjas don't want know static with me. you never know what a person is thinking. people might want to get you lined up for those stacks that you have.

People may ask where I'm from. I can tell them from people that live that life. people turning junk town into a place where only the real make it out. I can't believe the shit I am seeing. ninjas are quick to use old drug dealers. if the ninjas were living trust me people will be getting laughed at. everybody doing shit as if they are real pleases God. if 2pac was here this shit would be the downfall of the coast. I can't take any more fake shit. you can't talk about what you never did. this shit got us looking like what the fuck is going on with us and the way we act out here.

I'm the only one that you can't sleep on. this shit doesn't change anything, I'm still going to be getting money unless I fall off. that's when I'm going under one of my shorties. I hope one or all of them has my back out here. if I'm out of money because they are the ones that have all of my money. that's the fall back trust me. I know I have to be prepared for the fall off. if you stop making way for us to eat. you grind from the bottom and rise to the top out here. you make what you have the best out of what you have before you go broke.

Please don't get caught up in the mix of what's going on out here in these streets. if one of my ninjas out here whiling out. I would tell him to hold his head. walk light no we do not want the beef when you get the money you have no time for beef. when you not getting the money you always have time for beef. ninjas are always in other ninjas' problems. keep mine to a minimum. this shit ain't for everyone to know. how can you say you are here for me? when the war is on you do what you have to do out here. never forget that and know that the number one rule is trust.

                                                             CHAPTER 111

As I lay down thinking about my family. I'm so glad you choose to be with me. never let anyone change the way you feel about me. this thing that we have here. what a good feeling the way she loves me. the way she shows me she cares, yes it's about time you give me what I've been waiting for sexually contact. getting in between your legs. you laying there looking into my eyes. all of my energy inside of your energy. when we let go we know it's the right feeling. please never let anyone between your legs. the more we see one another. yes, I know how you feel.

Step up and handle your business. all of this cocaine comes from all over the parts of the world. yes, I'm in it everything copyrighted. yes, I know the feds be watching me but who cares. There are all stories of my life and I'm going to continue to get money. fall back why now keep pushing for a better life for yourself? the connections stay hitting me with big loads of this girl. it's out of my hands now because you get rich how you get rich. while I get rich how I get rich. in my hand is I'm Irish or a Richardson for those that don't know.

Things that need to change in my life. the more I think about the way I live hurts me. I couldn't just take the money and run away. so I guess I have to continue to stack this bread up. all of the money that you get from the streets isn't enough to log out of the streets. yes, this young ninja stays in tune with what's going on in the streets. getting money isn't everything to me. I miss the shorty that use to hold me down. now she's up in heaven but I know our daughter is watching me while her mother watches over us. what more can I say?

What do you do in any situation that's bad for you? you live and you learn from your mistakes. fight until you can't fight anymore. you need others in your life to be a strong person. walking out seems so hard because one does not know what to do. what is a relationship like trusting your partner? giving her space how much space before she goes with another man. everyone is getting money out here. so thinking because you make yours. she can't leave you. the fight isn't with her it's with the one that you love and she will always be my angel.

When you come to realize that everything ain't all that it is cracked up to be. the only way you will come out on top. stay focused on what makes you happy. when shorty wants to have a nice time shit I want to have a nice time too. if I go all out with her will she goes all out for me? I'm still looking for one to plant my seed inside of her. maybe she will be the mother of my children. yes, we have a long way to go and you not getting any younger. she keeps yelling when the time is right. I can't wait for that day. I already have the child that's the golden child. Layla, what are you thinking right now?

You try and try to make things right but she always has an attitude. I'm trying to make things right. yes, it's going to take some time for me to get it right. baby you are the only one I look at like that. all of these females out here but only one caught my heart. tell me where is our relationship going and in what direction. I hope everything's alright. I know you enjoy the time we spend together either it's me on top of you or it's you on top of me. what you know about getting whatever you desire. this is the easy part of taking care of yourself. how about you taking care of me?

Take your property I will be sure to defend it. all of the money in the world, I'm giving myself to God for blessing me with this life. my heart is yours for life and forever in time and may we never be out of time. the Lord watches every move I make out here. I'm still battling between good and almost good baby there's nothing bad about me. I'm trying to live my life the best way I know how. when times get hard yes I call on him by thanking him for putting this locator in my hand. this is by far the best thing that I ever found connected to my soul that the man upstairs has blessed me with.

My bad for all that I have put you through. sometimes I can't help myself. flying to the highest power means the praise that was given to you. use it and be glad that he gave it to you. the way things are going means the world to me. owning the biggest company means the world to me. one day I plan on getting my day1 out of the streets. in this mind is full of knowledge. it is hard to contain everything that was thought but storing my thoughts means the world to me. this is the way God planned out my future and I am proud of what I have accomplished.

When you are up so much. you pray you don't fall off. sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. it all depends on how you are playing the game. when she calls I answer. there's not one day that goes by that I do not do as much as I can for you. imagine me with the money that my company has. I try not to think about the money and no I don't do it for the money. maybe that's why I can make so much. you have to stay in place with what you are doing to achieve your goal.

First come first served. steady on my bull shit with people that don't like me. what a young man has to do to be respected. if only he knew what he was getting himself into he may have thought twice about street life. who can I call when I'm in need? I hope you are by my side even if it is through ups and downs. yes, I can explain the way my life is headed. being by your side I pray for the best out of you but if you cross me. I have to move on now I'm wondering if it was about what I can do for you or if it was about one another lending a helping hand.

                                                             CHAPTER 112

Approach a person like you like him. that person may give you everything that you want from him. in the dark eye what was the real reason you asked this man for a helping hand? the idea of one-day marriage. one-day children being together. please help me understand this. when your mind is going to different places at different times. what do I do how about putting your life back in order? with a plan that you can follow on an everyday basis. growing up empowering others to do good that's what I am looking for in everything.

I don't wanna be without you. forgive me for looking into the future of our life. when we first actually talked was when you called me. when I got off of work, how hard was it for you to make that phone call? I'm so glad you called me and not the streets because I was waiting on you to talk to me. the same place your mother called me to see you were the same place she first saw me. whether it's true or not that is not working out. I vow to take care of you for better or worst. the way things are going the only thing we are missing is two letters.

God gave me the ability to be a thinker because of my condition I couldn't have both meanings of talking and thinking. some people do not come back from what I was going through but I came back from that, I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't think or talk. my world was upside down. imagine your life like that. it was hurting me to know some of the people that were supposed to be in my life left but you know I bounce back like it never happened and for that, I praise him.

It's killer or be killed out here. tell me how you are above everyone out here. if you didn't put the work in. you have to get a good connection that has all of the drugs and he knows you are not one to tell on him. that's what a drug connect like to know about who is dealing with out here. I'm telling people keep their mouths close because if they don't they might get found missing and you don't want that right? I didn't think so. yes, it is outstanding how ninjas tell so quickly. I'm glad he home because it was a long fight but I told you patience is a must.

When you do not have to count it. you weigh it. that means you get a lot of money. being in this business yes it's hard as hell. remaining heads up and not falling for anything out here. you may have had the game in lock back in the days then something happens and you have to go away for a minute. but people not knowing you are out of town getting money. it didn't matter if you were blood. you had to hustle hard to get where you needed to be. ninjas weren't trying to hear shit about I'm gangster if I'm gangster I better show them.

Hate music yes it's true all fucking night I will be up handling business. when you are in the field having the mac's ready peace God. having the blazer on your side because your brother left me in charge of his gang. who want war don't forget the dot talk for itself. I walk around every day with that thing on me. just in case one of you ninjas try me. who you know run the streets and in black justice me that's who. if you don't watch your back ninjas get picked off for nothing so why do you feel safe out here?

When you live by the codes of the streets. you stay one up on ninjas. drowning myself in work. playing ball I knew I couldn't make it. that's why I got into the drug life. young ninjas had to do what I had to do to get this money. everyone gambling with their life out here. knowing every day it's a chance you can get murdered. living the wrong way can get ninjas in trouble out here. it costs to be the boss but when you are in it until you win or lose everything makes you smart or dumb. that's why I listen to older drug dealers. look and watch every move ninjas make out here.

                                                           

Created writers have to put their all into it. you can't sit here and write about money if you not getting it. you can't write about murdering people if you not doing it. you can't talk about drugs if you not selling them. yeah, the game is watered down and the reason is that everyone is trying to rap now. what about the essence of rap let's get back to that. if you didn't start as a poet then how can you call yourself a rapper, Nas, Pac, and Rakim was a poet first. when rap had substance now people just get on beats and say anything nowadays. plan your song and writing is a talent.

                                                             

Looking for the one that makes me happy. the one that puts a smile on my face, the one that I do not mind doing for. the ladies in my life have everything. they take trips to where ever they need to go. yeah, I'm still hustling out here but as long as they are taken care of. I don't see a problem, they get first then comes me. so while I'm working they can enjoy the fruit of the labor. making sure everything they want may have. it takes time to set everything up for them but I am doing my best. staying true to myself and to the ones that depend on me.

                                                              

Are you feeling me? you tell me you love me and want to be with me. when pushing my heart to yours. my daughter, I want you to know that you have other brothers and sisters. if not you then who. the time I want with you. my love is strong for you. I remember hanging out all night with girls. when our team is winning why would you count me out? being on this earth with you. let's pop bottles yes you can get smoked up. whatever puts you in the mood for what's about to go down for tonight. Lord, please keep us in good spirits.

                                                              CHAPTER 113

You may ask how I do this. well, I put my mind on moving words. I don't talk much but my mind keeps getting these letters. that come to my mind and I'm writing it down. work is a must for me. how do you think the ladies that's in my life eat? taking care of them so my children can have the best future that they can have. I know times may get hard for you and I. let's take things one day at a time. days turn into weeks and weeks turn into years. how many people can I love at one time? I'm open to all that love me. all I know we share the same life.

                                                                     

Please don't get out of line in these streets. if it ain't one thing it's another. counting all of this money got my mind hurting and bagging all these cracks got ninja hands hurting and having all of this cocaine from Mexico got a ninja deep in these streets. I know ninjas want me to lay back but I can't. if I leave the game will people still love me? taking charge the best way I know how. yeah, it's all about money. holding my ground out here fuck what you heard. sitting on tons makes you a drug kingpin. meanwhile ninjas only fucking with grams. I ain't knocking you get your money how you going to get it.

When it comes down to who is real and who is not. think about me and my ninjas. the thought of going all out. when people want the best out of you. you never know what ninjas thinking in this game. the only way to play the game. put your all into it for what it's worth. let me tell you something you have to be a hundred with this game. when it comes down to it. who can you trust you are supposed to trust your ninjas. you have to put it all up if you plan on making any money but don't be scared of losing it all. it's all about how you come back.

                                                                           

Where do we go. what will we see with one another? I want you to have the time of your life with me. when you walked away from me that's the only thing she is saying to me. you asked me what am I doing and I said everything is going to be fine. did I live up to my promise? yes, I did you have cars and a house to call home and I think I'm doing my part in raising our daughters and sons. yes, it's hard but this is what a man does for his family. the goal I set for me to take care of my family. yes, I want to get old with you and take care of our grandchildren. people say that's all a part of growing up.

I and my people made. a couple of trips out there. things are going well we made a lot of money out there. the man that put me on is happy with what is going on. we had this spot now we were going to take a lot of work out there. the work got out there. he asked me do I know somebody that wants to go out to the west to grind I got my man out there he sells weed. I can get that to him. so that means he does not have to come and get it. now let me call him right now and he answer the phone.

                                                                               

Yo my, connect got some of that send it. alright so he said yes address and I gave it to him. Now I'm bagging up work. the work got to my man and then he called me and said it's a go. so they are out there hand to hand both of them. they are onto the cops because they are watching them. they know what they are doing but they are not paying the cops know mind. no problem they decided on going out to a party. that's their first time going out. other people started seeing them and they knew that they weren't from here and that they were from out of town.

After the party, people started shooting at them and they are shooting back. now that means it's beef they are going to be looking for us and we are going to be shooting back at them. they got more people and we did not even know. so we left and called the boss and told him. he said hell no. we are going out west. now I'm out here with my track 1.

You lose yourself when you think about what other people have. I’m not in a race with anyone I’m in my lane. when I ask for trust you are supposed to give it to me because that’s what I give you. the thought of parting ways never crossed my mind. if that’s something that you want exit now and keep stepping on. how do you feel about me? I can’t have a person sexing my queens. hold me tight like you haven't seen me in years but keep working on your goals.

Putting my women first is all I want to do. I remember playing outside all of the fights that we had was puppy love. I know I did things but I was preparing myself for the fight that has been going on thus far. battling my inner self my mind was so busy but trust me. I had to make people think that something was wrong with me. that way nobody would try to talk to me. Do you think I’m crazy yeah crazy about my family? I’m home and I’m never leaving again until death does us part.

If you feel lost it’s because you made me feel unwanted and uncomfortable one time two many. so now I’m walking out and never coming back to you. trust me it’s not because of another woman. you couldn’t handle me and the way I move. I guess everything that was given to you for what and it turned out to hurt me. losing you help me become the man I am today. so go on with your life God bless you. I’m a strong man that has wants and you couldn’t fulfill them. so I had to move on to the next one.

                                                            CHAPTER 114

So if you say I’m one in a million. I foresee every single thing you did for me. you treated me you trick me into believing you are by my side. oh, you're not by my side you're inside of me. my world is inside out and this works for you to have my back to the wall right and you telling me how else you are supposed to move forward. I always listen to you because you tell me what I want to hear and you make things come true for me and that’s why I believe in you. you always were my go-to girl all right.

For someone to give the other person options. it's your choice if you want to be on these streets. holding onto something that wants to run the streets. isn't a good look for me. I want what's best for you and that's why I'm giving you options. I want to make sure your life is easy as it could be. watching your every move and asking me what time I'm getting in the house. I like when you keep me posted on what you are doing. thank you for telling me about your moves. am I wrong for expressing what's going on in our life?

What do I plan on getting out of this work? one a better future for you and me and our children. working hard means putting in the time that needs to be put in. having gratitude and overcoming anything bad that the devil put in your way. always listening to what God has to say. planning at all times. growing day by day with your family. taking care of your responsibilities. taking action for what you do. manning up and never looking down on people. taking the time to understand what your partner is talking about. you and your partner standing side by side.

I have always known how to be a man. gambling with your life when you are on these streets. I can't let the streets get one up on me. looking at everything that needs to be looked at. I get down when it's time to get down on another note you take care of yourself when you are in these streets. if that's the life you want to live. you move when it's your time to move. I can't take the bull shit, my friends are all I give a fuck about. can't run these streets. I have to prepare myself for a long future. you never know how things are going to go. you have to be a stand-up man all of the time.

Trying to find out what she wants. the best thing for me to do is fall back. maybe I need to try to talk to her. so I can make sure everything is okay with her. you never know what a female is doing. they keep all of their business to themselves. trying to figure out what she likes or should I say what she loves to do. if she's not one with you or trying to help you accomplish what you are trying to achieve. let her know how much you love her show her. when you come to an understanding that the world is small. the more you prepare for our love.

People say when a woman is happy in a relationship it will last forever. I do not want you playing a game with my heart at all. be there for me as a woman, we shouldn't play games about love. how can we get deep into this relationship? standing up for your women. take the step that needs to be taken. the more you spend time with her. the more she is going to love you. letting her know that you are in her corner. taking up for her if anything goes wrong. I'm bettering myself for you so you can have a bright future. by letting you know you are my queen bottom line feel me.

Neva ends what will we do if we separated from one another? you had my heart from the beginning. when we first saw each other eyes the contact was real. please do not let our fighting get to us. you yelling at me telling me you need me to do my best. baby ain't that what I'm doing, yes I met your mother. holding on tight to you. the way your body is calling me. waking up every day with you in my bed. seeing the way you carry our love. we have to be at the same time if we want this to last.

Putting everything in her name. let me ask you a question is that called tricking or is that preparing her for the future? if anything happens to me my children will be taken care of. going all out for the one you love. a lot of people can't be faithful to one female but I do not have a problem with that. the trust has been strong from the first day I met you. you are doing everything the right way. so why wouldn't I want to take care of you for the rest of our lives? I know we take our time. you make me feel so much better knowing there's one female that I'm putting my trust in.

Giving your all to a person that wants to party and hang out. sometimes you have to part yourself from her. move on and start over this is something that runs through my mind a lot. you should only be faithful to someone faithful to you. I'm not taking anything from anyone if that's something that you want to do then do it. the problem is one relationship fall apart not that I care but because I'm letting this one female understand that there's another way of having fun. what if I leave and find someone different? one that understands what I am saying? come to think of that's what I should be looking for.

The way she does things gets me upset. never let her get under your skin. be a man and stand up and let her know what she is doing is wrong. when she gets mad at me for all of the things that I did in the past. who you know that straightened it up right away. I had to work to put things back in place and never forget that. you help me and will help you out. when you look her in her eyes to see if she's cheating on you. you want me to get back at you. the conversation means everything to me. we have to understand where one another is coming from.

                                                               CHAPTER 115

The hustle doesn't stop you have to stay on your grind. running through the city with top gangsters watching my back. I know shit can get out of hand at any time. carrying that thing on me at all times. I'm talking about the dot on my hand. it ain't nothing like having protection from God if shit gets out of hand where the body lay its problems. making moves like no other person out here. you make the moves don't let the moves make you. you have to tell me what you want out of these streets.

This ain't know show and tell type of shit. when you put your all into it. people love what I'm doing out here. I want people to remember me for all of the right reasons. I can't stand being in these streets but I have to grind hard if I want my blessings. putting my mind on the right thing will help me out. people get locked up every day out here. you have to have a strong mind dealing with street life. if you don't get what you want right away. fall back and wait your turn, everything happens for a good reason.

As many times as I said yes to someone and given her whatever she want knowing now this wasn’t a good idea. in the long run, I found out this wasn’t what God made for me. so now I have to walk out and start this all over. I wish you the best but I’m trying to walk away because the cross hurts. what is this about now it can’t be about trust right because you were untrustworthy? I know my daughter loves me and that’s what I protect and I will continue to do for her.

I want to cater to 2 u. no money in the world can make you love me. I’m here for the game. one that doesn’t worry about how much I make. she helps me make the money because she’s a businesswoman. we handle our business and I respect her for that. just imagine riding in the whip with me and I’m taking you shopping and getting your hair done. I’m here to make sure you have everything that you want. I do anything for my lady. what more can I do for you, I’m here to serve you.

When people think you are not a survivor. I was staying at your house and going to school before any of this shit happened. then you stop talking to me so how was I going to stay there? I remember asking why you don’t speak to me. I remember walking up the block and you and her stop me and said you know what and gave me five dollars. for years you didn’t speak to me and I understand what miss you mean miss you with the bull shit. I’m still here taking care of my business fighting to handle what God has planned for me.

You want a baller one that’s going to trick you. when you go to the club you are looking for a man that’s buying bottles and one that’s in his new gear. check this is what a man is looking for a woman with a phat ass and nice hips and tits looking nice as hell. that combination is what the man and ladies are looking for. what if that man can’t spend his money because it’s in his bank account and his spending limit is low but when I want to open up the business and spend the bank account money he can but not yet?

Know you better she keeps asking me what I do for money. I handle business why is it so important to you? I’m grinding to put food on the table. you get mad when I stay out all night. I want you to know I’m not sleeping with another woman. I’m in and out of meetings taking care of us, you have to trust me. when we first met I told you I’m a businessman. you like all of the finer things in life. you spend whatever your heart desire. I’m working hard every day to keep you up in all of the designer clothes and nice whips and all of the diamonds.

You know I miss you. this place you put me in being here without you. sometimes I blame myself for you not being here anymore. walking with you on my mind over and over. it seems like it’s taking forever for me to go to heaven to see you. what’s better than having faith that you are waiting for me at the pearly gates up above? when the man upstairs ask me did I cross you. I’m going to look him right in his eyes and say no I didn’t and thank you to God for believing me.

You expect me to fix the problem when I do everything for you. I ask for little things to get done and they don’t get done. taking care of the same people all of my life. sometimes I think about moving on and changing my life by getting a woman that wants to help me handle this business that I have. when I ask what you do for me and you can’t tell me. that means you have done nothing for me. you want me to take care of you and provide what you need right? you can’t just have it your way because there are other people with their lady by their side handling their business.

Changing a woman's mind can be so hard, she feels like I have changed but I’m telling her I’m still the man that she knew when we were young nothing has changed. I respect you I’m letting you know I don’t mind taking care of you. I want to come to the table with work. seeing you yes I want to and you know that. I’m trying to follow my heart and stand up for you. my last post is supposed to be me telling you how I’m not feeling, why would I take this away from you? when you are the love of my life.

                                                            CHAPTER 116

You don't even know what I have been through. it was hard but I did it without you and I will never need you again in life feel me. it's four told that Jesus Christ will come and I am here and Christ's mother feels some kind of way. that wasn't right on any level. I just hope we can get past that and live our life the way we should because I love you trust me. more than the other sisters. it was hard for me living there with all of them. in the Ten Commandment.

                                                              

It makes us wonder what happened to our mother. people were working for the police. so if people say they are gangsters they know the truth. people were doing this to their blood. that's painful but trust me I will never hurt again. alright maybe I was wrong being a drug dealer at that age but I had older girls that were going to college that's why I did what I was doing and if I had to I will do it again. I am cool about the way it turned out but I need the outcome to be better for us.

We all miss him. we just want him home. so he can be with us as a family. if that's going to happen it's supposed to happen this year or next year. I do not believe he would have killed somebody for money maybe for respect. but black justice should have had a time when he can get off with no questions asked. I just can't forget what happened to me. when I was a child. some people did things to me know names but she knows who she is and I don't know if I like her for that.

                                      

You want to play with me. the money she's alright for life. she's living her life with her man and her man has plenty of money. these girls will try to get you for everything you own. not me close legs get fed where I'm from. cause I'm inner sexing right now. I met this girl at my house. she looked good to me and we had sex with one another that's the last time I saw her and she could've had a baby by me. I need three years to catch up with you. now we are here and it feels good. now we can talk about who's money longer. your cat is not holding what I am holding.

Let me sum it up get off me. people are telling me keep pushing. that's what I'm going to keep doing. it's easy to know people talk shit about me. my hustle grind together makes me unstoppable. the move I make is right for me. people murdering feel like I can't take it anymore. I want everything for my family. I'm making sure we take care of one another. holding you in my arms. make sure we stay true to each other. that's where we are supposed to be. I'm on the grind for us and it is hard.

                                                             

If my last days had to come. it will be with my family. the love of my life is inside of me and her child lives on with us as mother and father. this way we could protect you as one. together we are stronger than ever trust me. people cannot stop us. the only way is by death and you and I both know that's not going to happen right? Jesus is the most important person in my life and he promises to protect me. while I am here on earth.

How are things going with you? you should stand up tall and give a helping hand. you are the strongest part of my life. yes, you take her place and now you have to live up to it. the only thing I know is let's help one another out. the game doesn't change saint working over here. yes, I want you next to me all the time. you know I want to get next to you. undressing you I'm about to get faded with you. climbing on top of you is all I want to do. parting me for coming straight forward with you. she said okay but let's take it slow okay?

When will the world stop never? you better be in it until the end. am I supposed to show these people I got money? this is going well right now and I don't know how it's going to end up. but I'm in it for my family. catch a person down and out when that shit happened I had nothing now I'm handling mine too many people died. I don't know when it's my time to go, or while I'm here paper is on my mind.

This man had no fear I got sick that hurt me. now my mind is fine and I'm stronger than ever. people talk about all of the shit they did but they didn't do anything to me but tell the 12. how many times have I got locked up because of them? how I see it it's bigger than ever. you know who writes to me. so why would I lose. as a kid I knew it was going to be problems CO would've told me to get them off me and stack fuck what people think and that's how I feel.

                                                             

You never know if people will try to stick you up. watch them close, yeah I know about sticking people up. growing up I had to watch my back. for a lot of reasons, you feel me right didn't know who wanted me to die. that scared me when you don't know who wants to get you murdered. you have to be on point at all times. wake and miss stick helped me get rid of that tang go in cash. we had a lot of work to cut up after cooking it. we went out of town and it was fine. we were pumping crack and cocaine. that's what wake wanted when she showed me how to make cool aid. I knew that's what she meant.

                                                    CHAPTER 117

Don't get murdered. I got too much on my mind. the other side of me is going through it. I'm right here and I'm on my job for real. mistakes I know I'm going to make them. I have to get back on my feet. trying not to fall off before I leave why not close it? this is God's plan I'm the type of man that do right. please be aware of cats that want to get you hit up. this game is funny, stay on top and remember people are out there. it's hard to be on the low. get your act together faith I'm on that. 

                                         

93 proof this is a small world too many cats wanter get money. but the work came back bull shit. funny money doesn't count, race to be rich in this game. check caps they talk a good one. the battle does not make things better. I want it all for you from the start. this is what you get out of it. being a man in a woman's life, my fault for all of that shit. they cross me and I showed you the status.

I came to get this shit started. you get your shit together. pass time family I'm on some other shit. dam dog real is in my fam and I go all out you know this. told you this mic is mine from the beginning. watch who you give your drugs to and who counts the money up. know this test shoot at them, run into the bullets. get popped up that's the type of person I am. I knew that from your man, still fuck with you. I could help a person like you. 

People trying to get next to you. gun them all down. put the money up, you know I will fam. I wanted to be on top of every move I make. work for who fam. can't see dealer yours. what you want from me. I'm not having it son. I make things come together. I know it's a lot to do with this game. know test money yes. follow you for now I'm still on the phone diary for me and you.

Baby, I know that nobody can take care of me the way you can. ladies I am trying to remain in your life. you know that I want to marry you. it seems like that's the only way that I can be with you. baby don't I show you that I care? these emotions for you are getting stronger. I am the last of a dying breed. that means I was born in Moe do you love me? the reason I talk about love is because that gangster shit means nothing to me and my kids.

Baby, I am a young man with a lot to offer someone like you. do you want more for yourself? I know I had to learn about what to do to women. I know how to treat her now. I cannot believe you want someone that treats you so wrong. I am trying to cover up things that went on in my life when I was 13. I am thinking that you stayed here to find out what was the outcome. I was 19 when I realize I needed to focus on my home.

This is the way you make money, you have to save money. then you will have a lot of money to spend. people will try to take from you. this is what I had to do, I had to start from the bottom and work my way to the top. when I got to the top. I wouldn't let anybody bring me down from where I am at. other drug dealers want me alive. but I keep moving on. while my pockets get fatter. I am going to keep growing.

What is the other side talking about. what is the other drug dealers talking about. our mind is on taking care of one another. we are not ready to die but we know it can happen. we have to be on our best behavior. if you are ready to take then let me know by doing it. I cannot take it this killing shit is making me more in teach with myself. I am watching my back from everyone out there that's in this game we play.

Praying for better days. hard work and dedication will do the job. put your best foot forward in any situation okay? learn to love how can you call a woman a hoe. when you have a mother. I try my best to treat the women I'm loving like a queen because that's what I want for my mother and sisters and daughters. if you treat a female like a hoe. you can't say anything if another man treats yours like one. you have to be concerned about the way a man may treat you one day. so you treat the one you with perfect.

Why am I running from the life I chose to live? who can help me out by helping me get out of this life? when a bad person wants to turn good. you confess all of your sins to God. if you don't want that chip on your shoulder play by his rules. understand his wisdom and what he has planned for you in life. follow the words of a wise man. learn what you need to learn out of life. never think you to smart for your good. even the smartest people can end up in black justice. we as a people need to beware of those that are not been in our life for a long time and people that can't do us any good.

                                                         CHAPTER 118

Holding her tight like I never want to let her go. being her rock doing things for her that were never done to her before. being a man for her. guiding her on the right path. showing her that there's more to life than what the eyes show. caring at all times for her. making her my wife having children by her. when it's dark she always shows her strength. missing her when she's not with me. if it's only for a minute feels like a long time. growing up with her next to me. proving to her that I'm the man she always dreamed about.

You never know how life is going to turn out or how life is going to treat you. living one day at a time determined how your life is going to be set up in the future. grinding for my family staying aware and preparing myself for the worst. carefully taking my company to the highest degree that it can go. that means working long nights early days and mid-afternoons. if you want your company to succeed in this business. planning always gets you one step ahead of the competition. never let your dreams go to waste.

In life, you need to know where you are headed. to accomplish goals that mean so much to you. thinking about ideas and making your ideas come to reality one day that's a goal that you accomplished. striving for greatness never letting anyone tell you. you can't do something. you should always believe in yourself no matter what. I have been perfecting my craft for seventeen years now and I have come a long way from when I first started. if you find something you are good at stick with it. it will pay off in the long run.

Messing with females. can get you in trouble at any time and any place. stay ten toes down. make moves as you should feel me. yeah, I'm waiting on you to tell me it's on. never play the female that's in your corner. good things will come to you if you do what you are supposed to do for her. sharing the love that you and she have for a child. keep pushing for something to happen. it's not one day that goes by that I don't think of you. the more you insure her the more you will increase the chance you will be with her.

What do you like? can you tell me? so I can have an idea about what you like. so bad I want to get next to you. maybe one day that will happen. it's all up to you. follow the lead I'm on before something happens. undressing that body like a real man would do. watching you walk like you are a top model. crowning the one you love. putting her next to me because she's bad as hell in my eyes. you better get right on it. how many times do I have to tell you? you look good in nothing watching you cook me a meal.

I'm riding around the world looking for that one special person in my life. if black justice comes will you be there for me? I'm doing all of this hustling for us. so we will be able to have the finer things in life. Jesus died on the cross because his friends gave him up for goods and money. where is the loyalty out here? I hope me and my friends never let money come between us. there's enough money for all of us out here. yeah, we are still on the grind but God has a bigger plan for us trust me. tell me what we have to do as friends to remain loyal.

Maybe I deserve to know who you messing with. you telling me you have feelings for someone else. I can't believe that all my life was spent taking care of you. doing everything right I never walked out on you. accept when I went out to handle business. but you okayed it and now you want to do your thing. is he calling you are you going out with him. are you kissing him? I'm ready to get back on my player shit. but when I look deep inside my soul knowing she's still here with me and we have a daughter together and I'm just letting you know I love you forever.

Why do you have to have all of the numbers connected to my heart? I'm trying to walk out thinking life was over until meeting you. what I am trying to tell you. if you break my heart I don't know how I am going to feel. maybe I'm going to think it's my fault. you always try me with you talking about you walking out. if that's what you want to do leave. you are not going to keep threatening me about walking out. I'm so strong now with or without you. I have grown into a man that watches his own back and time is getting shorter in life.

The thought of passing away with the one you love in your corner means the world to me. that's how my baby went out. in the song I miss you she said when she was going to college I was going to high school which is true. in the song, she said no more and I agree. the person that has me thinking twice about what she said can only be the person the connection match the one that isn't here anymore. you never fully understand what you have until you lose it. missing her but knowing I found her again only can mean one thing God didn't want me to go through life without someone by my side.

How do you want me to take what you tell me? am I supposed to take it the wrong way? you telling me if I don't get my shit together you leaving me. what you can't see won't hurt you. you live your life the way you like to live your life right, you are all up in my business for what. you think half of this belongs to you, I have something in mind help me get this money then you can talk about half of this shit is yours. until then keep your mouth close. taking care of things that you love to take care of right? what is a relationship without two people that care about one another?

                                                             CHAPTER 119

Pacing back to back not knowing where life is going to lead us. praying for the good to come out of her. things she may like to do you might not like to do at first but once you get used to what she likes to do. you find yourself enjoying things that she likes. simple things like long walks in the park. going to the movies. going out to eat. rubbing her feet kissing her sexy body be things that you both can enjoy. treatment that you give her. you will receive the same treatment I bet you. love her care for her. show her that you are the man for her and shower her with gifts.

Guns bust fast what you think you can't get picked off. people die every day it's how you take heat to it. this shit here ain't nothing to fuck with. gang members love to bang blood dots on my hand. you want to get hit up and if you think it can't happen you got another thing coming feel me. anybody can get murdered quickly. fuck what 12 say handle business to the max. who gives a fuck about what ninjas think about you. this here is family until the day I die. my ninjas better get down no matter what's the problem.

Note to self. should I or should I not trust females? playing inside of whoever soul is inside of my soul yes. if you will like to keep the souls playing you have to remain faithful no questions asked. when we go to heaven my soul will continue to play for eternity. that's why the dot was so important for me to activate. the vibration that sows over our body feels so good to me. what activates when body-to-body contact and I mean inside of one another. only God may know and we will find out when that day comes. until then let's be patient.

                                                              

Me and my bitch. standing there with what you want. the way you are supposed to be sitting. head held up out here on these streets. I'm asking you what you want from me. how about that 171 thou shall. that's a lot of money how can you pay me back. you have to put your all into it. baby, I'm not saying this because of that. I'm pointing things out. you can have everything you want can't you see I'm trying my best. one thing I was always taught help others and your blessing will come ten times more than what you gave.

                                                                 

Someone tell me what I'm doing wrong or if am I doing everything right only she will know. people will talk about our relationship but you tell them it's okay. you are the one that I want. when I was out of town doing wrong. trust me I never touch anyone that I wasn't supposed to touch. thinking about my family and friends. as I stand here telling you I never cheated and never lied. imagine if I would've kept having sex with people. I wouldn't be where I am right now. by the grace of God, I'm able to be here with you.

Catch me if you can. the way one changes their life into one another. baby not having everything down packed in this game. gangsters do what they have to do. playing in your life fuck what ninjas have to say. let's keep up with the jones. you better cover all sides. don't leave anything out. put whatever up for my baby. you want to stop me from what I am doing. that's not in God's plan feel me. I want to wife you but you play too much. I shouldn't have to look over my shoulder and watch what you do every day of your life.

                                                                       

If I can escape from all that I have done to you. taking you out and giving you what your heart needs. I want you only God knows how much I care about you. promise me you will let me know when you are ready to make love to me. this song that you sing to me at night baby. yes, I made everything right by you. grinding for our family yes I know the kids need me. my heart wants to scream out loud missing you. when we connect will be the happiest day of my life. growing from that day forward yes it is in my eyesight.

Let me lay down my life for once. when it's a lot of money to deal with. ninjas get funny but I'm helping all of my friends out no matter what's the cost. I know and I understand what she was saying. what more can I do to prove I'm here for life? this is the shit outsiders don't want you to see. when you make moves yes everyone knows how you are moving on the block. but who cares if you're down with me? let's get to this money. in and out of black justice is something that I do not want to do.

                                                            

When shit goes down don't run your mouth. street code ninjas die fast feel me. this drug game ain't going to stop because ninjas want to fill their pockets up to the max. when you are in this game problems can happen. that's why I try to stay to myself and get money with ninjas I know. it ain't a big thing to get work on the arm. being one of the best that ever did it. what do you know about having tons of cocaine coming to the U.S. from all over the world? that's how this young man is stacking. I know I can't have all of this money in the bank. but I'm low in the pocket and have to pick myself back up.

                                                             

Follow the rules that were given to you. you will never go wrong. let older ninjas share some games with you. please don't hustle backward make moves forward at all times. handle business first the only thing that comes before that is family. hustle until you can't hustle anymore feel me. try to stay away from 12 and dive deep into these streets. getting money is the only way it should be out here. if 12 happen to come to get you. your word is all I remember when you were in these streets. playing both sides will get us mixed up.

                                                            CHAPTER 120

Being strong you should always do the first thing that comes to your mind. sometimes second-guessing might be the wrong idea. make sure you do what the heart wants you to do. by you not taking heat to what you think about may never come to the light and please do not tell others about ideas you may have. work hard every day on what it is you are trying to accomplish. never give up you know if it might just pay off. so you should always follow your ideas. you are supposed to take your time and put one part together at a time don't rush it feel me.

                                                                    

A black girl lost. I don't want a female that's in these streets. sleeping with everyone unprotected sex can lead to death. I need one that got something going on with herself. one that wants the better things in life. how can I find one like that or should I say where do I look to find that type of female? growing up yeah it's one thing to be out in the streets. but if you don't learn and try to change your life. making love to a man for money. yeah, they still lost out here. changing her life and now she's doing better. I'm looking for one that when she was young she wasn't in the streets at all.

                                                                      

Preparing yourself for the next few steps you take in life. make sure you make those steps count okay? people get lost in their actions but not me. I'm trying to take care of my family. that's the number one rule. the second rule takes care of my company. fight to better yourself in any kind of way. the problem with us as a people we don't want to see our brothers or sisters doing good. if we all come together and put our minds on the same thing more money will generate inside the black community.

                                                                         

You grind so the money can come in from all over the world. Are you messing with a man that has deep pockets feel me? I can't get caught up staying away from 12. hustling is a part of the game. you learn from the older people that you hang out with. yes, I have to stay in my lane. putting people on is all I want to do out here. you shouldn't be the only one eating out here. playing the game how it goes in these streets. you got to move low-key out here but get your money. partying not me I got my eyes on this trillion dollars.

                                                                           

You should've known better. when you meet the woman of your dreams. making that phone call to see if everything was alright. she told me to pick up the phone to let her know I'm not in some heat. I'm trying my best to keep you happy. the way life is going I'm wondering if she's going to stay in my life. time waits for no one, I'm glad you are a part of my life. holding onto this relationship we have. building together for the future is all I want to do. asking who is that I'm hoping this shit isn't some bull shit. Layla yes I'm sitting here wondering how life would be if your mother was here.

Baby, I know you want me. why are you doing all of this talking? how about getting together body to body? let me ask you something this is the conversation you talk about with your friends. In the end, are you going to give your body to me? I can tell by the way you look at me. people say you are overrated but trust me you're fine as hell. I'm wondering where you came from. heaven must have an angel he left here on this earth. stop acting like you're too good for me. all I want to do is undress you. I'm over here thinking about what I am going to do to you. if you give me a chance to be with you.

The way you sex me I appreciate it. you are young but act so grown. tell me if you are the one for me. spending all of my money on you. you want me to get mad at you about life. but so far I'm playing you like you playing me. when I was young I had a lot of females around me. girl, you know how much I miss that. growing up is one of the best feelings in this world. 

                                                           

I'm trying never to forget about the life we had. how can I forget? you make my life so much better. how am I not supposed to acknowledge you? when you did so much for me, you use so much of mine. why is the question I'm asking you? it may be because you need me or it can be you can't live without me. if I didn't have this company will you still be interested in what I'm doing? 

                                                               

The moves I make yes it's for us. but not for you to be giving others the okay to use what we built. people don't care about what's on our plate. people don't eat what we eat or help us get money. I'm only telling you this because you have to be careful out here. I'm moving the way I move for a reason. can you understand that. where are the gangsters, the hustle doesn't stop feeling me. I remember when I was in the street life out of town. 

                                                              

Doing my numbers yeah people can fall off. fuck that that's why I'm counting my blessing. I can't stay on these streets all of my life. yeah, I hustle like I never had anything. that's why people front because at a young age people didn't have that much. I want everybody to know street life leads to two things. that's jail or death you have to stand strong. if you want to last in this game.

                                                             CHAPTER 121

                                                               

I had the time of my life with you. you showed me so many things that one man never knew. getting together with you whether it was bad or good. this is all I know but baby for you I'm changing it right now because you are all I want in my life. yes, I'm trying to get myself together for you. yes, there are little things that I need to work on baby. as long as you are here for me that's all that matters right? 

Planning all of this the mind is capable to follow the heart. when the mind feels pain the heart hurts. holla, when you tell me how I made you a better person. so you are my queen and I'm your king. the conversation you had with him when you were on the phone. the conversation was about 400 million and I said 800 million. when Nicki Minaj and Nas did that song. you said you weren't attracted to me right? fast forward to now 800 million is covered and nas is back with Nicki Minaj right. and I'm growing my hair back using it as a cheat code.                                                                

How can I compete with someone else? you have my heart and I'm proud to be in your life. the way you move and get up on me. showing me how much you want me. things you whisper in my ear. telling me you miss me and I'm trying to find a solution to our life. doing your thing how hard is it to say how you and I feel? God works in mysterious ways. everything's getting greater trust me, baby. I have your best at heart. I miss you too. I want you here with me. right next to me. who's throwing shade at us?

                                                            

Tarnish a person's character is something I will never do. I have high hopes that dreams do come true if you put your mind to it. having an understanding of where life will lead you. what's the right direction up or down or right or left? these are some of the things I think about. creating different ideas makes me happy. it is important to have set goals in life right. why wait until you get old to start living your life I want to take care of my business now that's why. so when I'm old I can go on trips buy cars and live in mansions.  

You are my girl. I want to see you keep my focus. yes, it's hard for me to stay strong-minded in this game. if I lose everything will you still be there in my life? what if I had no more money will you leave me? some females chase people with the bag. I can't touch my money right now. I don't want the people onto me and the people watching me. I have one thing to say I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm in the house at a reasonable time every day. 

                                                                

It doesn't matter if it's lit outside. I'm still ducking the people. I can't go to black justice. the places I have seen make me a better man. I have been through a lot of real ninja shit and I want to have the time of my life with you. how about getting your things and going out with me? I promise you will have the time of your life. if you don't believe me take a chance. you won't regret it baby now that I have you in my eyes watching me watching you right? I'm in it to make your life better trust me. the things you do for me. 

It's only right I do something for you. let me cross my fingers in the name of God protect me. giving your all in this relationship is all I want to do. thinking about growing old with this lady. how can I remain faithful to you is what I'm thinking? building this life with you means we have to tell one another everything that goes on. do you agree with that? if I'm telling any lies be the first to let me know. baby I'm trying to control my feelings but you keep getting the best of me. 

                                                                     

Growing up yes I made mistakes but I'm putting all of that in the pasted. you are the new woman in my life. baby, what's going on in this mind? sitting here wondering if you want to leave. it's your choice to pick and choose who you want to be with and who you aloud in your life. if you don't want to grow with me. let me go and find someone who will understand me. you make one step forward and then you take ten steps backward. people say Jesus lived to be 110years old that's in Genesis. following the book that's in my hand. what book you may ask and I say the Bible. I am strong but sometimes I feel weak. giving praise to the man upstairs means a lot to me.

                                                        

When the mind goes please take my heart with it. I had so many things on my mind, planning is what I am doing. yes, I want you in my life never let me go. yes, we can ride around in flashy cars. buying you all of the clothes you want. putting diamonds all over your body. you know things cost and I'm trying my best. I want you to know taking care of yourself doesn't come easy. it's one of the hardest things in this world. 

                                                           

Nowadays a man has to prove to his lady that he loves her and I'm trying my best to show you. is this a forever thing or is this a for-now thing? being productive in any situation means you have some home training. as a kid how were you brought up if you were brought up with morals and respect that's how you are going to live your life. a place where magic can happen. I'm just waiting until it's my turn know rush. 

                                                          CHAPTER 122

Waiting for that one special person that I can spend the rest of my life with means everything to me. having an understanding of how women need to be treated may mean the world to her. what you do and how you act reflects on how you were taught when you were young right? when you die where do you go? how about in my hand right that's where heaven at right. I showed y'all the dot now it's up to you. if any person tries to body me my soul goes inside of his or her body and slashes the temple feel me. 

Then it's murder she wrote right yes. mad lock who did what to who. playing ball is in your corner, right? ducking the 12 how long can a young ninja stay in these streets without 1time on my back? ninjas swear to God I'm hiding. who asked Mase to leave and come out of town me that's who. snacks rocking chains right yes I did. only God knows how a young ninja gets to it. never let people talk you out of doing what you love. 

                                                                 

How strongly do you and your crew have to be you have to be the strongest. the way to go is from the top to the highest level. make what you can make then get out of the game. if you get greedy you can get locked up and you don't want that right? playing your part means a lot to me. when you can control what happens in your life. you will see a great outcome feel me. the only way to get money is with your ninjas. if one eats all eat right.

When the war is on. you better get your gun because I'm getting mine. even doe mine is in my hand. ninjas want to party and bull shit. fuck that I'm getting to this money and anyone that think differently can do something about it. I don't think my hitter would like that. low money is the best money, right? that's what the OG'S told me and I followed those rules. ninjas better stay out of the way of ninjas that are in the street life. 

                                                           

Everybody wants the best things in life for me I just want my family back right? itch ninjas put me in this position right. what you throw out is what you get. I can't hold my head watching you out here. I hope you want what I want. speaking to me do you want in on this relationship or not? it's a never-lasting imprint that we leave in this game. how hard is it to make a way for yourself to eat? when you get shit on the arm you get what you want from whoever handling big business. 

You make up for what you want while the whole time I gamble with my life. I have to change that right now. it's all for you so what are you going to do out here? who is the love of my life you? walking past wondering if you want out. only time will tell. yes, I'm out here making sure everything goes right. when you have someone's heart you do whatever it is to keep that person happy. I want to know how you feel about me is it love or hate? growing up with you from here on makes me feel good. the world is on a young man's shoulders and I am making a way for us to be happy. 

Wondering how to stay at your place. can be so hard not knowing. when is the right time to speak? people should always know what their partner is thinking. if she's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with right? always plan your moves so they can happen as you want them to. standing tall never falling short. How can a person stand up in a relationship? when you and she are always fighting? we should be uplifting one another. how can we come to an understanding that everything is okay? we must come to terms that theirs two people in this relationship.

                                                                         

What are you waiting for? my love goes out to the woman that I want to be with. that means all of y'all let's stay in this relationship for the rest of eternity. the last couple of things I have to say. knowing that we are trying to remain strong and trusting I know it's hard. Every day is a fight that I'm willing to take. baby never let your love go anywhere. yes, it's just r&b. holding you at night now that's what makes me happy. the way you say my name, and the talks we had mean so much to me, let's get our minds right.

The way she looks at me. the way she takes her time to understand me. the way she was there for me. all signs of good women. I hope everything I say about females is. help you understand what it is I'm looking for in a woman. disgusting everything that we need to take care of. Makes this relationship between us look positive. we should never look down on one another. we should always share. a strong relationship between two people means talking about the wrongs and the rights. we have as a couple.

This will probably be the story of my life. how did I do this writing is something I like to do. I never want to let my family down. it's times like this that a grown man has to step up and show his young ones that there are other ways to get money. Relax and take your time with what you want to accomplish. anything is possible to do. the way I see it. it's hard at first. but once you be patient anything can happen. you got to put your trust in God first and everything will fall into place.

                                                          CHAPTER 123

Last day. this is for the ninjas getting cocaine. do your thing a young ninja sees you and hears you loud and clear. being from the streets. this young man trying to change up. the way I think fuck the bullshit everybody wants money and is willing to do anything to get it. When you from the dirt. all you hope for be for the seed to grow into a tree. ninjas say money doesn't grow on trees. my ninjas get high as fuck. do you see where this is going? when you live in these streets. you got to keep your mouth close.

Runnin' only the people in this world know. I can't look back now. I got to keep pushing. the way life goes handle yours with the utmost respect. people will try to pull you back. hustling in these streets. Mean two things black justice or five feet underground. on the other hand, you can live life free and stay out of trouble. which one do you choose? a person that has no worries often lives on the streets life. someone with a family who wants to live the good life. it's only right to stay positive in this life.

Starin' through my rear view. when one man gains the world. others will try to take from him. you can't pass up your dreams because you are scared. stay on your job. time to face facts. the people you have in your corner that's the ones you look out for. Having family and friends helps a lot. all I can say is keep grinding. your mind must be focused on goals and yes you can have many goals. it's a young man like me trying to accomplish goals in his life. when pressure gets hard and your back is to the wall. you overcome your fears.

Essence, fuck ninjas get money. staying small and don't want the Feds on my back. probably got the phone tapped. did that in and out of states. getting nothing but big money. came home for about 11 years straight to get more money. what the fuck ninjas thought. This is a business that I'm in. can't hit the streets as I want to. trust it's because I'm working hard. when this young ninja gets older I will have something to lean back on. if one career doesn't work quickly changes. do something else with your time. never stop because you never know where this can go.

How hard is it to find the right woman? there I go again it's just r&b. these songs just come to my mind. this is for the ladies that are in my life. how do you feel knowing I can walk out at any time? their so many females out there. but theirs is one that caught my eye. Maybe it's meant to be or maybe not. growing as times increase times are getting better. how can we show each other that love is real? the way we look at one another. the way we respect one another. there are other ways but the most important one is how we trust one another.

Holla at your boy. get up mother fucker and get money. hang in there and handle your own. gangsters always say what they're going to do to someone but not me. rolling with these ninjas that are in these streets. my ninjas telling me you are the boss. So you should lay back and continue writing these tracks. take what you learn from these streets and put it into verses. you spit it out of your mouth. make sure you say the right thing and never get carried away. how many times do I have to tell you. the streets aren't going anywhere?

When you do the most. out of all of your friends, you get treated with respect. you have to keep your cool in all situations. you should always want to better yourself for the sake of your children. let me guess you asking what is the plan. The plan is for us to get our shit together. I must take my time and only then will I be blessed. blessing comes from people that do good for others and that pray. it's a cold cold world out there. you must plan for a good future. that's why I'm doing all of my homework now.

It's the danger zone. the answer is yes. stay in P.C. I don't want to hear anything, who's in this game with me? I can front right now. ninjas that run their mouths are the ones that are not about that life. the ones like me stay silent and move on the low. How she hit it on the nose when she knows every move you make. that means her mind is constantly thinking about your mind. pay attention and stay focused that's what I like. dam fam not home yet. as time pass by miss all of my dogs. that's still in black justice. The last ones left.

                                                    

Looking into her eyes. you can tell what a woman is thinking. partying up all night or is she handling business? I know something is wrong with me. I got to get back to my job. in the beginning, we had everything. but enough is enough of all of this fighting. You are the only one I care about. I do not want to see you crying and upset about little things. baby, we have to get a grip on this relationship. before it ends and all we worked for goes down with us separated. if we work together we will have more in the future believe me.

Ghost, the resurrection if I come back to this earth. I'm coming back as a mother fucker that don't give a fuck. about the past, it's all about the future. so me and my ninjas jumping in the whip looking for these ninjas. that want beef. This is the shit I'm talking about. I can't get my thoughts together but fuck it. when you come from the bottom of the world. I had to hustle for everything I wanted. I had to handle mine like a man in these streets. I always watch my back from these so-called enemies. let's talk about status staying true.

                                                       CHAPTER 124

Death is around the corner. I got to stay on top of my game. S.M.M. to the day this young man rests up. I'm not throwing know white flag in. for those that don't know what that means. peaceful solution stays on your grind. it's all about that green flag get money young ninjas. Damn, I can't smoke dada shit. it's how you make moves fighting for the best in this life. we call living with nothing to show for it. I'm trying to plan for the future olie. the 5 stay popping in this life of mine. to make moves. yeah, I came back home with a plate for my ninjas to eat off of.

Somebody's gotta die. let me get this straight. so many hill ninjas are not here no more right? where did all of this killing shit come from? everybody is cool with each other. nobody wants to face facts, you not rocking me to sleep I'm up wide awake. You trust ninjas that did dirt from a long time ago and forgive them. it's still in ninjas heart. watch your moves and handle your business. can't forget or let anything go because when it was on I was there. it was a war going on. whoever doesn't like it. oops, 16 floors check it.

When you think of the women of your dreams. you come to an agreement that all women aren't the same. you have to dig deep inside your soul to bring that woman to light. the bottom line holds her tight at night. take care of her with all of your heart. Try to never let her down. this is when she sees you are becoming a man. the life you live will be better, life has its ups and downs. when we are together there's nothing better than that. the time you spend with your lady. will make up for all of the time you miss. I promise you that.

It's one thing to stand up and there's another thing to fall for anything. battling thoughts in my head. telling me to remain focused on my writing. if you want something make it happen. dream big and never let anyone take that from you. The time is right now. so become who you are going to become. get what you can get out of life now. make sure you follow the rules of the game. make smart decisions and take action on everything you want. nothing will be handed to you out here. remain strong and on the right path.

Believe me, baby it's all up to you. whether you want to keep me in your life. baby the thought of leaving you. yes, it's hard the battle wasn't with you. it was with me getting myself together. I know you holding on to me. for all of the wrong I did. But now I'm grown up and I respect her with all of my heart. can't imagine my life without you. baby, you are my rock. keep showing me things that I never knew or things I didn't see. how can you make that person feel so good? that she never wants to leave?

When you see your women. playing games it's time to sit her down and have a talk. baby, what's going on with you? do you want someone else? I can see you are not faithful in this relationship. the things you are doing. mean you are ready to start over. It's out of my hands. can you make up your mind, do you want me or him? you can't keep going back and forth. maybe I should walk out before things get out of control. how can you play both of us? it's just r&b it's nothing personal. this man here is strong with or without you.

                                                                                   

Matrimony, when you think about me. the way I think about you. women can cheat because when she takes walks. how many men are going to holler at her? but let me take a walk not one female will holler. so if you don't treat your lady with respect. There are so many other men willing to do it. this is what one of my friends told me. thinking it's all about money. that there doesn't give me a rush. the business now that's what gives me the rush. looking at every single thing in this world to find the right woman.

 

                                                          CHAPTER 125

Motivation is all I see on my timeline. everybody wants to take from me. I'm never giving up on this shit right here. when it's on who's going to fold? this is the shit I see every day of my life. when you get shit done. you will see a lot of money. Coming in from all over the world. never let them see what you are doing. follow the rules of this game. battling the street life without going to war. I hope there's a better outcome. never let them get you upset. didn't we change a lot of money? ninjas forget so easily.

Women will be a woman it's the place you are in. it's how the race you are with doesn't value you. maybe it's time to change up or is this woman that called me today wanting to build a future with me? color blind means nothing to me. the way it shows you need one that's faithful. By writing these songs my daughter will be taking care of me. someone said I'm not going to say his name. when people see you succeeding those be the ones that usually change up. it's there I'm going down as one of the last of a dying breed. I can't change that. while I'm here I promise to raise hell.

Heartz of men. takes notes about the game. ninjas getting passes every day. if you know who's talking about my life story make sure they tell it the right way. it means nothing to me for an outsider to tell others what to do. but when it's coming from somebody that knows the game. You do not want to hear it. connect come on I need something I can sink my teeth in. do not make me wait for it. you can either hit me through a song. just let me know what's going on. when I talk I talk for real and things I say do happen.

Dumpin' yeah, it's hell on earth. let's see where this leads me. in the order, you pay attention to ninjas that are getting money. you can get all that you can get out of this game. if a ninja tries to take my life. I'm shielded the electricity will come inside of your soul. You think my angels won't let you take me without a fight. so I'm getting to this work and got this butterfly on my foot. didn't Jesus cross his legs? yes, it's on the side. the bottom left under and the right on top. universal is black what do you know about that?

It's times like this that one needs to get what one can get out of this game. the way I should. yes, it's hard. but we must fight to overcome. staying together as one can help so much. if you cannot understand that there's no need to talk about black lives matter. People we are killing each other. it doesn't matter as long as we get what we want out of it. the thought of coming together is something everyone needs to work on. traveling home just thinking about. all the good one can do by helping others.

This is the shit I'm talking about. excuse me for being blunt. who needs you when you always handling your business. I cannot get out of these streets. yes, I can move on with my life. my goal is to never let my family down. living for my kids can be so easy who doubted? Open up spots for two kinds. if it ain't the same treatment you throw out. that's the same treatment you get out of me. you got to watch your back for real. I live for my life to get better. looking out of the eyes of a man that been through a lot of hard times and is still able to get up and stand tall.

When you're silent about a lot of things. knowing the ones that pass are looking down at me. wondering where we went wrong. I can hear pac saying stay on my job. never let up keep grinding with no worries. wife looking down at the kid like that's how you handle your business. Fall off one day who knows? Lord have mercy on my soul. I'm asking why you pick me for this task. maybe I'm the one you trusted. I promise I won't let you down by any means. yes, I'm going to keep building until my last breath.

Don't sleep, wake up like this. this is fucked up. this game got me in my feelings never. we have gone ride with my pistol by my side. you want that left dot out of the baby nine. nobody wants to see you doing good. the whole world me and the mob getting marry. Irish a ninja would. this isn't anything for ninjas to be fucking with, S.M.M. yes that's who I'm down with. the second degree should be 100. I can't see maybe it could be me being color blind. a lot of yellow back. 5 popping which game are you playing? slashes stay on my job. can't wait to wake up don't sleep.

Holding her one more time in my arms is all I want to do. you think you can make that dream come true. I will be grateful trust me, your love is one of a kind. I know no man can love you better than the man you have now and that man is me. thinking about our children if it’s true and I’m not doubting it but Lord have mercy. you just had twins, I asked to see them and that’s exactly what you did for me. early in the morning. if there’s anything you need me to do I will do it. y’all get me roused up.

I’m wondering when will she call me in the middle of the night to wake me up. you always randomly hit me like that to see if I’m sleeping. I guess that’s her way to tell me she’s in the bed with panties on and a bra on and a t-shirt on. baby wake me up just make sure it’s on the weekend. are you trying to tell me that you are not scared of one night with me? that will turn into eternity, let me get my popcorn because of the way this movie is playing out. you need me to be more romantic. how about we get in the shower together?

                                                             CHAPTER 126

She left early to see me in the morning as I asked. I’m the one for you in my heart I want to show you how my heart can’t status. that means stay true to me and I will stay true to you. the one that I love is y’all. if you are out clubbing a real man won’t look at you. anyway, a man like me and that man be me. I’m looking for the ones that are working hard. when they retire pension to support their life. I’m working hard too so I can bring something to the table. the ones that are looking into the future. not the ones that are thinking about fronting right now.

If you look into my eyes you will see a man with deep emotions. I can’t tell y’all how much I love y’all. thank you for looking after me. I remember being in my apartment in convent. I had all of the ladies. some stayed the ones that were close to me. went and did their thing I’m kinder happy because I have new females that show this kid love. you shouldn’t feel like you owe anyone any explanation about what you have been through. I told y’all over and over I did nothing wrong.

So if I’m going threw withdrawals. how can you help me? when you tell me I have to wait before you give me your love. this shit doesn’t make any sincere. how long am I supposed to wait. when you were getting out of the shower? walking into the room with nothing but a towel on. lotion in up saying to yourself that thang is all mine and I accept. my mother asked to see a picture of you and your sister. she said you look just like your mother. I guess I’m on dubs if not let me know. children better are mine.

Bring your whole crew if that’s what you aim for. I will knock down the whole team one by one on Damu. you better straighten up and no I’m not upset. let’s just keep it clean. the red always lives in the city, the blessing is greater than any hate you keep doing your thang. Mark my words I’m here for you too. please don’t count me out. 510 she hit me with 1500 in blood codes. I said get back to me and Damu said I got back at you. you know who this is for. you gone let this dog in the door.

I'm going down from here. if I make it. it will be 711 albums. spending time with you. I'm glad that I have you in my life. I'm looking at the ones that are at home with me. I'm not looking at the ones that are in clubs with other men. keep mine to me and I will keep yours to you. by faith in God, we will be together trust God. when he gave Jesus his power. that man will be great with the right females in his life. I'm not letting you leave me. this is hard but for y'all, I'm willing to accomplish it.

I know I can be dying smart with love in you. hiding connection to you with us as one. being together in a time like right now. money comes with trust do you have that in yourself? planning this run and it's just starting. it should get better because I'm all in. you set this up because you want to see me win so I won. one thing I have learned is respecting your women. uplift her soul and keep her with you. so she doesn't have to be on these streets. kids yes I think about them every day from the time I get up until I go to sleep.

Yes, it's me and I'm not going anywhere feel me. you want diamonds you want money you want to shop until you drop. you should ask how long I'm willing to go. you can dig deep in my pockets and feel me. you can have whatever it is you want out of life. you are not dealing with a regular man. the more I get money the more you can spend. your cards have no limit understand me. this is what you get dealing with someone like me. price what you see you like it you buy it shorty.

Thank you for being a friend to me and a lover. you are truly appreciated from the bottom of my heart. when you have ladies that make sure you take care of the household. thus far I’m all yours, I’m not trying to hide any secrets from you. this is our love in this form, so either you messing with me or not. the Apple sure does not fall far from the tree. you always cover me from anything that can harm me. so for that, I owe you my life without you what will I be doing? I have no idea. so continue to be that strong woman.

Is that you saying I'm your first love baby? let's break this down so I can get an understanding of what you just said. if that person follows you and has good intentions for you. do you keep her in your life yes why not? if she is doing everything the right way for you. so I'm here to tell you to keep up the great work as my woman. the reason I don't want you outside like that. mainly because I don't want you sleeping with different men. I put you under my arms for a reason. you are a queen and I'm going to treat you like one.

Pressure is a son of a blank. she keeps telling me to man up and handle the business. I'm like what's the sense of all of this? she said all of what and I said you tell me you love me this much. she said because this is how much I adore you. I said thank you for staying in my corner. she said what's next I said summer is coming. this is the conversation we had. I said what if I hang out then boom find another woman and she scoops me right from under your eyes.

                                                                CHAPTER 127

You got me running around losing my mind. knowing dam well you look at me differently. tell me what I have to do for you. I’m praying for you and me. I know what I have in you. so why would I let you go? you saw me at my worst and you saw me at my best. this goes out to you. so watch my back because I need you. I’m on the right path growing up as a man. I don’t want to be doing only gangster shit. this pit bull is a red nose. the way to train me. show me that you are faithful to your man. look me in my eyes and tell me you care.

 

You don't want to make me look foolish. so she reacts to me. so I can be a better man. you are to show your woman that you love her. yes, she looks just like me, you have my heart trust that. I don't want you to go. so I'm giving this here my all. just in case you are insecure. I'm telling you that you don't have to worry about another woman. this goes out to all that's in love with me. make sure you bring the best out in your man. a man wants a woman that's about her business.

When Chucky was on his mission in the movies. I was handling business like he was in real life. when the seed of Chucky came out. I met lay and exchange my soul for Aaliyah's soul. so she can walk in this life on earth. you know who you is so just be her. I’m pissed off at you because in the movie she became the mother of Chucky is I right. yes, I am because I watched the movie just like everyone else. I’m trying to explain to you something it’s up to you whether you take what I’m saying.

How can I start to talk to a female? I think females that got their shit together are sexy as hell. I mean just by being faithful in a relationship. a woman that doesn’t take any shit from a man. one that doesn’t need a man for anything but me being a man I want to do for you. how many lifelines I have. this was my last one but I rise it up. what do you know about having a 1on1 lifeline? east side all the time. I love women that can help their mango in the right direction. one that knows how to take charge in a relationship.

I have thoughts in my mind that everything’s going to be okay. I just got a call from my mother telling me that you know who is thankful. she also said that she has to get out of her shell and listen she does not I repeat not have to rush. I’m working and she’s taking care of the children. when that time comes it will come. we have to let it happen naturally. you took the words right out of my mouth. we should always have a plan A before plan B come into place. also, you should be the giving person you are.

This is the part where I say you did so much for me. I can’t imagine leaving your side. the game you may take a fall but you have to get right back up. my soul was so hurt when mother called and said you want to yell. I said I want you and then I said summer arrives in a minute. what does this mean for me, when you call I will be on my way to the house. I’m not going to be out like that. what do you want from me care I’m giving you that, love I’m showing you that. the affection I want to hold you in my arms. pictures on my phone of you. this is what you told my mother to tell me and I did it.

I also remember meeting mother on your block and she said you met someone. on 7ave and he was driving a Mercedes-Benz and you said he was 22 years old. now that I think about it that's when you got pregnant right? you took what song I'm not even going to say. passing was shotgun. I also remember when I called mother she said y'all were on the corner. I said is there anything y'all need. you called me and asked for one hundred dollars. I came to the house and you rush me and for the first time, I said no but gave it to you the next week.

Do you clap back or let the people run with the game? that you have laid out. by the way I'm trying to get money. someone asked how much is too much money. you ain't never rich in this game. it's all loving what link and I was talking about. didn't he knock you out that's why you're mad. I know I can never trust people because I get money and who stops their money me that's who. I love a bad hitch shorty hitting my pockets. it ain't tricking if you got it. I'm sitting on a sycamore tree never again feel me.

At first, I didn't see what you were hinting at but now I see it. you always include me in your life and I'm thankful. you watch and see and have learned well from me. you are starting to act just like me. putting your mind on what you believe and for that, I will bring you a bottle of Moet tomorrow. if you wanted to know this my mother was born the day your daughter from her is one month and sixteen days. that's another sign of you being Aaliyah.

Yo growing up in a place where people carry wires on them and trust they are ready to use them.  as the person am I. I have to watch my back. this here ain't about these females. if you are trustworthy you live a long time. so don't worry about what happened in the past and move forward. I'm trying to keep the show on for you. I want the money fuck the fame. you can have that because my children can eat off of books. I want y'all in school, handle that and you will have everything you want.

                                                                     CHAPTER 128

I'm not too busy if you want me in your life. I will stop whatever it is I'm doing to give you my full attention baby. you are the one that I work this hard for and when I say you I mean you. the life we have is full of love. I want you to be able to buy what you need in this world. this is how I see it. you keep me sane why do you. she said because you need to focus on what it is that you are doing and I said I Noah. thank you for understanding.

If I say our anniversary is coming and I'm missing you. I want to pick up the phone to call you. you are so distant why is that? the only thing you have to do is say you want me in your life. I can't get over it y'all are having my children without me having sex with you. the reason people may ask is how he wasn't Jesus born without his father touching his wife. I have this dot in my hand. you know what that means right? when I went under murder then boom I'm having children now.

For all of the people in Birmingham. y'all know my child lay lay is down there. so y'all should be treating her as if I'm there. buy her things take her out and call her to check up on her. they said don't worry that is what we are doing. you know we have her back because her mother let her move down here. we know her mother changed her life into another female and we respect her. treat her just like you would treat your child and if you don't have children. treat her like she's yours. 

Strike one you missed strike two you missed. the third one she's fine as hell. I remember playing Nintendo you showed up when I asked you to. if this was my playing field. you get a pass for looking so thick. girl listen you know you got what I need to bring this man home. you are up to bat I hope you hit a home run. that ass is so fat you almost got me aroused. your body is so sexy. you were dressed so nicely everything was clean on your body. I want back-to-back hits.

Tell me how can I control this pain that I have, you are bad for me in a good way. relationships start with trust you have to know your partner. this is why you get to know someone before jumping into a relationship. you give her gifts to show you love her. even when you get with her you always remind her why she first got into a relationship with you. you have to keep the fire burning in your relationship. shower her with things if she’s worth it. it will be senseless to be in a toxic relationship.

How can you help a man be a man? this is the question that most women want us to answer right. let me let you in on a little secret be there for him. never tell him he can do something especially when it has to do with his manhood. the way the game goes let him fail by himself. she said that's some bad advice and I said why. she said because if he's my man I want him to win. that was a little test to see what you were going to say and you said exactly what a man wants to hear. so continue to be that woman that I need.

My lucky charm this only happens once in a while. you get dressed and I take you out and we show you out in the city. the first time I asked you do you want to go to a concert and you said what you said. I fell right to sleep. please don't forget I asked you did you want to go to the movies or to get something to eat. I still want my date or are you curving me? be that woman that keeps her promise and stays down for me. I know we have some disagreements. I'm working on myself so you should work on yourself. so when we come together we have everything straightened.

Are u still down? I can't get upset about the fact that you want me. I mean look at me don't I look good? she said you have a big head. I said that ain't never mind to grow for you. by the way how old are you. she said I'm old enough for you. I said nowadays females be young and I can't get caught up with that. by the way the last time I had any sexual contact I was 18 years old. she said you are still wet behind the ears. I said yeah I still have Simlack on my breath. so what does that means I can't lay it down and she said we just have to see.

I remember when you were going to college. I gave you the money to pay your tuition. someone to love you I know we all have ruff ends. you got into the school because you pass your test. I have been here from the beginning ever since I came back home. you know it's funny because as I'm trying to get on my feet. your mother called me over to where she was at. oh, she wants me in your life but is that something that you want? you have to let me know if that's something that you think about and if so take your time.

I remember my First Lady. you made everything seem so senseless to me because you would tell me to do something and I would back talk to you. life has a very funny way of spreading love. I’m so into you and please don’t doubt me because you are my first love. if I had a perfect life you would be in it. life grows with us together. I never want to let this feeling go. I lost you once and I don’t plan on losing you again. it’s funny how women can make a man stand his ground. I want us to look life right in the eyes.

                                                              CHAPTER 129

This global warming yes it’s getting hot outside but trust me. I’m not looking for another woman. for those that are with me, my heart is content trust me. when I look at the family we have built. let no man or women come in between us. y’all mean the world to me. I have so much love for y’all. I would lay down my life for my children. trust me there is plenty of time my life was on the line. this is for anyone that has lost someone close to them. I know my wife is resting in heaven knowing I’m not crossing her.

You have to make life the best that you can. I’m trying to leave the mothers of my children something to pass down to my children. if Jesus is in me he will deliver life in a new light because it sure gets dark. climbing on clouds can be a great trip. people look at me like I’m the enemy. I have learned people that who are close to you will change. I shouldn’t look for people to support me as long as I’m supporting myself. when I make it by remaining strong until that day comes, I’m going to ride it out.

The more I work the more I’m tired. I know my family and I want this more than ever. so I have to finish this. I’m never moving fast I like to move at my pace. I don’t want to close the book right now. so just pray for me. I know I’m not Writing a song about guns so much because my family doesn’t want to hear that. I’m trying to cater to my family's mind. this is what got me in the mood to start writing about how much I love them. sometimes I may talk about the other stuff. I need y’all to understand that this man is in your life.

Being that strong man for the ones that love me and trust I love them back. it's so hard fighting this fight without you here or are you in this lady's soul? you have to talk to me more. so I can understand what you are thinking. so your friend started this conversation, not controversy. you bet not show your ass either. when I say ether I'm saying got to get her. you are my woman right? so be that woman that our children can look up to. I'm here for you if you don't change I will not change you.

You ought to look into what you are doing before jumping into something else. I know there are other men in this world. I know they have flashy cars and houses and nice clothes. you want something that you can see or something that's building for eternal life. building wealth is hard buying it comes and goes. what about putting our children in a position where the children will benefit in the future cause that's what I'm doing for them. how about when we get up in age we can look back and say we did that for our children.

Crossing the street with your auntie running to me. I asked you did you want something from the store and you said yes. oh before I forget you hugged me. your auntie walking behind us and I open the store door and you walked in, I held the door for your auntie. we got in the store and you pulled a dollar and your auntie said put your money away. you got what you wanted from the store and then your auntie said say thank you and you did just that. you walking with your uncle I saw you and you ran to me and asked me for some money and I said how much and you said I don't know.

The plan is to stack how much I can stack for a rainy day. my children need to know that I will show them that it's a better life that I am building for them. this shit is hard sometimes I feel like giving up. people from here don't mess with me. why because I keep it real and I'm not like these other ninjas out here who dick rides for money. you have to live up to your expectation. it's all right to be a real one, I can't trust these females because one might try to set me up and I can't have that.

Your plan has to be the same as my plan or else we will get mixed up. I remember walking to 151st early in the morning and you looked at me like am I going to work? I looked back at you and in my mind said I have to be there in the afternoon. another time you and your sister were walking up the block together and you said you want me. she just looked at me with these stars of love in her eyes. I take nothing back because you have shown me that you are her and I respect that.

I pumped mad shit when I was young. if 12 got a document you know it's been 27 years. I have been handling my business. get your money young kids while I want to see y'all win. some of these people my age don't like me for what. this goes out to all blocks I'm from 151 convents. this is where I did my dirt. then started hanging on the hill you know we all from the hill battleground. this makes it harder to blank me. sure I had to throw that vest on. so Jesus and God can watch me.

Are you still in love with me? it's funny you never show it. your friend said you and her were in a bad situation in your past relationship. is that telling me something because you got my mind blank up? it seems like things never changed with us. you say one thing then do another. how am I supposed to get it? you are bad in a good way. if you put up a fight I will put up a fight to stay together for as long as we can tolerate one another.

                                                                 CHAPTER 130

Here we go with my mother telling me about her niece that's pregnant. I want to know do this has anything to do with seasons change because if it's mine. I'm willing to be the best father that I can be. when I look at the picture that you said look at. yes, she looks like me and you name her Leah for what. I'm digging deep into what is said and reading more into the words y'all use. yes, I want to keep you right here with me because I'm a lucky man with you beside me.

The way she parts my hair the way she takes her hands and put braids in my hair. dear Lord, I know she's a strong educated woman. the way she expresses herself and uses big words. you will think she's a woman of God because of the way she speaks. she said something that stood out to me. she said some people are smart visually and that's how I am smart. for every man get you one that understands you because the relationship will go a long way. she called me honey I should've said, bye baby.

The closer I get to you. Do you want me to tell you more, Do you understand so far what I have written, and if so can I get an amen? you should always help people because that's where your blessings come from. that's why I put this young lady under my wings. so I can show her the right way and for her not to be in the streets. letting her understand that I care for her and I love her with all of my heart. from the beginning, we form a close friendship that turned into a family right, or am I mistaken?

If you getting down let it be felt that you get down. this blank shit was way different back in the day. we would've never let people in it without getting initiated. some of y'all never did that 31 seconds and never put work in. back then you had to be strong-minded in this game. what's hood with all this gangster shit? nobody knows when Jesus was resurrected. that's why this has so many different days. UBN was always under one umbrella. nowadays people fight amongst one another.

So a man never wants a female that has kids by someone else. the only thing that’s going to happen is you have more kids. I just want to back away from that situation but people keep calling me. I can’t make up my mind because she did her thing meanwhile I was handling my business. she writes things like she’s looking for a new relationship. please just go on without keeping me hanging around. the more you do and I don’t know. the more the hate build up for y’all. so if you see this post let me go my way.

I just saw a post that said the people that used you don’t get upset about it. he also said it might look good but it’s not. he also said don’t get mad just move on with your life and that’s what I plan on doing. he also said the people that showed you love when you were helping them out and then that person stop calling you. something like that happened in my life. it doesn’t matter because I’m setting up general wealth for the ones that are here with me. it doesn’t bother me because I’m looking into the future of my kid.

Calling me last night to ask me something about did I watch smoky Robinson but I didn’t answer the phone. you called back the next day when you want to talk to one another. let’s see how this is going to play out. you say you are good and mingling, you called to tell me that, and then when I say something you respond differently. I’m going to write about whatever’s going on in my life. this is what a writer does so get used to it. the next move is on you so make your move wisely feel me.

She understands that I put so much into this relationship or what would you call it? you want me to stick around and I just don’t know why. yes, you wanted to start with me because I was minded my business out here. I know it hurts the way life is going but trust me I’m in your corner. it seems like you want me to leave. if that’s so just let me know by never calling again. then I will get the hint and move on. you can’t keep me around just to be around. I know names connect and that’s the important part, right?

You say you gonna love me. I know you want to fight over the text I just sent but what are you going to do? you always showing your ass. you think I’m out here cheating on you but the real question is are you cheating on me? you want that rough sex I know I’m not acting the way you want me to. you have me thinking double time because I’m wondering what if you are cheating. you don’t want to let me come into your life. this is that shit that gets me upset for real.

Let’s just get down to it. I’m not going to fight with you when you feel like fighting. you better straighten up and get your act together before I leave. is this a sign that you want out of this relationship? you have taken everything that I own. so I have a problem with it nope. you have my mind breaking down. I need to man up and stand on my two feet and put one foot forward before you leave me. you better understand this will never happen again. you have to turn the cross on Jesus' back to get to my heaven.

                                                              CHAPTER 131

You want me to be or not. I have concluded that you want out. you lose the person that wants you the most. only time will tell if this going to be until the end of time. if I tell you that I love you what do you say to that? you made your mind up with or without me. the pictures were for Holding this special place in my heart for you. the woman that I need in my life. I gotta be the one you love. do you promise me what I have promised you? if not then walk out right now before this heart that I have get hurt.

Damu you know the kid run threw the city. who side are you on I see shit but we can keep the small talk for others. I wake up with the bull shit on my mind. ain’t know yellow back over here and if you want me to be Mr. freeze I am for you. for those that don’t know that knowledge that I just kick. the First one who’s pussy, not me and the second one means I’m falling in love. you will never catch me 801 and if you don’t know what that means it means stress. you know when you want me to talk to you. that blood knowledge comes out of me o50!

Where does this get me? when you say ask me a question and that’s what I did. I hope you see threw it and be there for me. if you walk like her this is exactly the way she would be acting. you tell me what you want me to say to you. I’m going crazy as time gets longer. I’m falling more and more in love with you. I can’t make up my mind because you have this thang on me. this is for everyone that’s in my life. yes, I love y’all with my whole heart because we are together. I changed my whole life up just to be here with you.

 

You say you love me. I just want you to show me. no one’s going to come between us. you have a man in me. having a man that wants to make all of your dreams come true. are you shame of me or do you respect me and look up to me? if it rains I will put my raincoat on just to be safe. what do you think telling me you want a son? please take your time. only time will tell if we are meant for one another. this here shows me that you are ready to be with me.

All My life I have been looking for someone like you and I have found you. I don’t want to give up on this thang called love. you ought to take what I have said and believe in me. you are my queen. I want to walk until the end of the road to be with you. I thank God for putting my family in my life. I’m able to take care of my business because of y’all. you put this smile on my face no bullshitting. I ask God every day what made him put y’all in my life. I think because I have been a good man to anyone that I came in counter with.

I know you changed your mind and decided to be with me. my world is going up and down. can you show me how to love you? I need help she said you can’t manhandle. nine out of ten times she will cook you something to eat. if you deserve it because that’s how you can tell a woman is digging into you. let me say this my brother Bleek had his daughter on the 4th of July and you had your daughter on the 7th. what’s the math in that, that is something that I wanted to say. what I have found about the connection you have connected to who has no names.

I will do anything for you. when I spotted you that day. I felt a connection to you. I’m trying can’t y’all see that some men only have a couple of children? I have to take care of a lot of children can you count because I lost count. I didn’t let y’all down, right? I see you looking at me and I’m looking at you. when was the last we laid down and took care of our emotions roller coaster? it’s been a while right am I sitting here getting mad no. I’m working to take care of the responsibilities that I have. I’m working overtime to make up for the time I missed.

The things y’all do for me. uplifting me helping me get past the temptation of other females. when you want a home to call your own. you will risk it all for the ones you love. if you have God By your side anything is capable of happen in your life. when I came back home. I took it one day at a time. I never moved too fast he was telling me to slow down. this is why I stopped smoking because it was bothering me. I had to get back on my job and handled business. the way it’s supposed to be handled.

You know that being here makes this grown man. if I was in the streets hustling it may end badly. I have people that work for me and I’m talking about the connections that I have. why do you think I do this? it’s either you are a friend or foe you can’t be both because playing two sides can get people killed. I was always the one to hold my family down because I love them. I’m trying to write my wrong into my rights. so you and my children can look me in the eyes and I can look them in their eyes. I have a lot of love inside my heart.

Falling for who and why do things have to be so difficult to get to know you? asking a question like that cause a man think other than what he is thinking. her mind can be on that or the question wanted a direct answer and that's what I gave her. we have to stick together until we can figure this out. the love I have for my family. y'all know how a man moves and what he wants to hear right? I guess that's a women's intuition, so I just have to sit back and let her lead.

                                                                  CHAPTER 132

I'm not lying you are my queen believe me. I want this life we have to continue to go the way it is going. you uplift this king make me feel like I'm the only one you want in your life. I need a girl. I'm in it for now and forever. you say you want one that you can build with. I'm tricking no I call this taking care of the women in my life. even God had a mother when Jesus was born. the mother of Jesus was a virgin and the dot that I have in my hand was the birth seed right or wrong.

I still remember the first time I laid eyes on you. I called your mother and she said that you were missing in action. I know that means you miss Ellison. you always know what to say to me. you always have the right words to describe how I'm feeling or what I am thinking thank you. I listen and learn from what you say. you want me to have a deep thought about what I hear. this is for all of the ladies that are in my life I love y'all. you plan and this is what you get. the outcome is greater and I appreciate it.

Yeah, I copied you. when I saw you wearing Adidas I went and coped a pair just to match you. you have to a meant we use to dress similarly to one another. meaning when you walked down the ramp. you felt like something was wrong but trust me nothing is going on when we stopped seeing one another. you put fake shades on to tell me to stay outside longer. like I said there can't be dark and light in the same place at the same time understand? things sure do have a domino effect. so let's put this in its proper perspective. we fight every moment to stay in each other life.

My ninjas get down at any time trust me. can you look a man in his eyes and take his soul to the upper level. that means you are a real ninja. no that does not define gangster shit. when you are a family man that makes you a man. that is something that I want to be looked at. so my kids know I care for them. seeing y'all today y'all are the ones I do this for. anyone can blow off a ninja top but can you educate a generation to do better than us? shit is only getting harder in these streets blacks killing blacks. you can impress me by teaching men.

What is the price you are willing to pay for your children to have more than you had? you asking me if I'm willing to lay down if it comes to it but you have to worry about this dot that I have in my hand because it controls the rain feel me. Will she love you or will she love you not? the notes that you have to write down is she's here now. if I was doing her dirty then I can see her doing her thing if something happen to me. I better get my shit tighter and dam I can never light up again. spark one of them blunts for me on Damu.

What I don't understand and what I won't tolerate is you walking out of my life.  I'm willing to put up this fight until my life is over. the greatest thing the devil did was make people think he doesn't exist. I know the truth all of the Gods are the same with different personalities. I think they were born in different rounds and they are trapped in me. if you don't believe me then what I write you can't comprehend. the way people counted me out and for God to bless me and give me the strength to overcome obstacles feel so good no cap.

Believe what you want just know that I love my family. the family will always be a part of my heart. my biggest fear is my family leaving because of something that I did. thank you for the Birthday wish. you know who I am talking to. I know we have come a long way to be a family. I promise as long as I'm able to take care of our family I will trust myself. even if I hit the ground I will never let y'all fall with me. the man is supposed to grind hard for his children and the mother of my kids. the love will remain here.

Hi, y'all the loves of my life. this wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for you trusting and believing that. growing up is real when you have females that love you the way you love them. holding your hand walking down the street and you looking at me like it's all love thank you. coming home seeing this fine woman and I know she's with me. I want to know if my mind playing tricks on me. silly rabbit tricks are for kids. my kids are great so fighting with the inner me isn't something that I'm playing into trust me.

Shit happens its what you do when something happens. put your two hands up and fight or yell at one another. being a grown man means not getting into an altercation with anyone. you are a grown man this replayed inside of my mind. this is something that my wife will say to me. you have to keep your head up, one way you cross the street with a hoodie on your head, and the other one you are dressed down. looking as good as you want to look both looks are stunning. always remember that okay?

While you lay there thinking about me. meanwhile, I’m thinking about you. I know when I’m sleeping I dream of you. I’m trying to get inside of you. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. you know I feel you. we need to work more on ourselves to be a better man for you. you erotic let me get on top of you. I’m telling you everything that you want to hear. I promise to show out when that day comes when you let me inside of you. is this a double take you're fine as hell trust me? I only have eyes for you.

                                                                  CHAPTER 133

She’s saying make sure I have her back haven’t I. all I try to do to make sure you are okay in this lifetime. I stood up and handled the business at hand for you. there wasn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you. a lot of females say women shouldn’t depend on a man. I’m the man in your life and I want you to depend on me. shit, I been here all of your life taking care of you. why leave women that I can see myself spending the rest of my life with for women that sleep with different men all of the time?

What if I want to lock what we started and never let it go. the times have changed for sure. we only see one another once in a while but when I see you looking as good as you look. I know everything’s taken care of. from me to you baby you are my heart. I want to make you proud of me. it doesn’t matter how long it takes trust me. I’m doing my best to show you. how a man feels when he is in love with you. the goal is to get all of y’all in one house. when that happens y’all will be walking around in t-shirts and panties can’t wait.

What will a female do if you walk out of her life with everything that you own? I’m sitting here wondering if that’s option no. when we have it bad for one another. yes, I’m thinking about you. she should know if she wants in this relationship she has to give up the good. I think she already knows that and if she doesn’t tap her on her shoulder tell her. it might be hard but if she can break that habit for me. she probably already wants it and is not scared of the night we spend together. side by side is always an A plus.

Picture me rolling in a 500 honey bent over this microphone on another level feel me. ninjas tried to blaze me once. I hear you loud and clear. okay, what have people you dealt with shown you other than the streets? banging for the wrong people out here. I move doe low out here and never really asked people for anything except a handful of people and anyone that I ever did business with me knows how I get down. I do this for people without a voice people that once were in the streets but are not in the streets anymore.

When you get to the money females will come for you. you can’t mess with females that just want to be with you for the money you make. ninja when mase needed help he called me that’s who. they are saying what you do to a camera that you throw away when you finish with it disposable right like sporty. so keep that shit the only reason is that I’m getting older and raising my children is something that I take great pride in and any man that wants to be there for his children would say.

As I was addicted to the dark side. y'all can keep listening to them. let me tell you how it started right. my friend and I were walking down the block on 150 and this person came up to us and told us about two girls right to make a long story short. I have respect for you and always will. later on, said he was going to fight me over it. I'm walking to his block to talk to him about it and he wilding ran up on me. the reaction I swang and hit him, mother call me and told me to say sorry. this is where all of these problems come from. I knew seven sisters at first but that was a way to sleep with one of them.

I'm here to help put people in a position to win. what you want from me. you got her and have children by her. remember you started this so it's on for life. you always say people like me told on who. this blood shit means Damu is in my hand. what you bang for you not watching other blood. you want people to handle the business that you have on these streets. if you can't understand this isn't for you. the only thing the streets have is black justice or death. why do you want people to have only two options? you should want to better yourself and the people around you.

Back that up why are you acting like that? PAC told me to handle this business before I lay down with anyone. you need to be stable in life. you should always stay on your job before you get sidetracked. meanwhile, you playing a game that everyone is in. so get money while you are here on earth. people say money is the root of all evil. pay attention to the ones that do anything for the love of money. New jack city opens up another spot. let them seize work that only means I have to pay them for my work to get back in my possession.

What you see is what you get bottom line. hustle hard or don't hustle at all feel me. you get into this game with thoughts that you are going to be a winner. playing outside where people get bodied during an action. that take place by making moves on these streets. the connect I'm still looking to see more out of y'all beware of the dogs. doing only gangster shit 5 popping red light green light. this is my body unity love lust and soul. we have to stay with one another if we plan on moving forward in this life. I don't want to go to black justice feel me.

If I can turn her head maybe this wouldn’t be so hard. I don’t know if she loves me but I’m trying everything to keep her with me. if another man comes in and scoops her up. I will be upset because she’s a nice woman. who am I playing with her mindset maybe on another man? the reason may be a reason that I can’t fix right because I’m not there in a physical form. I want her to know my heart is there and trust me it’s in the right place. when you have two people that love to work will get the job done.

                                                             CHAPTER 134

Sitting back watching you take the route that will get you to your destination and that is with me. I’m following the man upstairs he has shown me the way to love women. growing pains always get to me because it hurts my heart that you are so beautiful. my mind turns off and on riding with you until eternity that’s how it’s supposed to be. I’m asking for some more blessings because Lord knows I need them. what’s a World without the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with?

Sitting here catching up on empire it’s so hard knowing that it’s talking about stages a man takes to get his life back together was hard. one thing I know I will never let her go because she is my strong belief. this one lady I’m looking at wanting to be active with. I’m trying to understand if this is something that she wants. naming kids after names that are close to me. I’m wondering when I went under murder like I did they drain you know what out of me not knowing if I was or was not going to make it out alive Thoughts.

Grinding became one of my strongest points when she yes came inside of me. I remember the dream I had, it was a dream that I will never forget. it was a portal between sex money murder a camcorder was recording me looking out like next will be left eye. then inside of me released and I woke up at 5:38 and the morning news said that you pass away on a plane and instantly my heart broke. then next left eye passed away, and this young lady helped me put the pieces back together in my life.

Sorting out problems that can happen if you don’t protect the one you love. it’s so many things that you can do for her. like make her the queen of your castle for real, show her things that she has saw be mindful of your surroundings and keep a close eye on her. she needs to know that you care for her and respect her and you will provide anything for her. I’m not just saying this to make you believe it. I’m saying this to let you know that the love we share is contagious to me.

This that shit you can vibe with before you know it you're in these streets handling business. you feel like you can’t be touched and then the feds have you locked up and then they say they have an indictment on you. shit, I don’t want to go down like that so I have to stay ten toes down. the way you move will determine if you will stay out here on these streets with your family. you can’t turn a blind eye to street codes. the way I see things I have to get this shit taken care of before it’s too late. so you should make wiser moves.

If I say thank you so do you think I mean it? the smarter the more beautiful you become. talking isn’t one of my strongest points. the game the streets kept this man's mouth shut because I don’t want people to think I will tell on them. you follow what the streets say no that’s not true but if you are going to play this game. you accept the responsibility that comes with it. the only thing that keeps me out of the streets is y’all and my kids. I want to live to see them get older. this is what gangster is to me. I’m not turning my back on y’all.

I don’t think about leaving this earth now but if it came to that. will you continue to be faithful to me? what I can’t see or feel touching on your body. when was the last time you had sexual contact oh my fault. she said never or if she did it was only with me is that right yes. I want to see what that thang hit for, you are making me wait this long it better be some gold thang. she said don’t worry about that she got me. let’s just take our time you don’t have to rush baby. I requested you to be in my life is that right yes.

Get money until the day I die never give up fuck that shit. you know this is the way my mother raised me. if I die tonight. you can’t feel my pain before you judge me walk a day in my shoes. this is the way people give it up in the streets. telling ain’t in my blood follow the way this young man ride or die. only God knows when he wants me to meet my shorty. she might I hope she’s on this earth right here with me. everything adds up so yes this is my last breath. I’m knowing I have to keep my foot on this game neck never fall off and try never to fail.

Calling a female out by her name is something that I won’t do. we never fought or yelled at one another. we have to be teammates if we want this world to be ours. we came too far so let’s continue to prosper and live life to the fullest. I want you to have all of the glamorous things that this world has in it. we have to give thanks to the highest. this is his body if I had nine lives and this one was the last one to see if I’m strong enough to be him. I had to go through so much torture to get where I am today.

Yo, I've been waiting for some time now, what is the hold up on that white girl? it seems like it's taking a long to show that things are still moving out there. this is all for gangsters all across the world. if this shit doesn't stop from being who after who and keep it on the low. how can we pull together and take care of the game that we are in. everybody wants to be a boss. listening to you know who it was all good a week ago. you think that gangster shit would've got dam you would've handled what. you weren't even there back in the days paid in full.

                                                                CHAPTER 135

Baby don't cry it seems like this man that used to love her yeah right. Are you saying all of this just to capitalize off of this? you had a baby by your wifey for life right? this is one of the reasons she came inside of me. what people don't want to see the truth but Harlem does. every person in this bitch going to feel me. even if this means over my dead body. I'm trying to do all I can do from the jump. he's like a talkative female who always wants to make it about him yeah right I'm here.

Covering you because I'm in your life until the end. baby, I don't ask for much but when I ask. you should do because this here will be there for you for the rest of your life. you have all of my time, you have shown your ass once too many. so now it's my time again to show you how I can get down. you know I'm just playing this home I love. you do things for me that I need. in this lifetime I promise to show you that I don't want anyone else. being a woman is hard I know as men we have to uplift you and guide you in the right direction.

I remember walking across the street. walking passed the store to see something that stayed in my mind. wondering if I will ever touch her because if he did then I don't want to. I can't see myself putting my man inside of a female that another man hit. if this is not true then we got something going on. I'm saying this just to let you know I'm not playing double relate because this is for the females that have been faithful to me. talking about I told on who or ran yeah right. when the bloods started wilding out because of me. people know what it is before. I'm going to mac feel me.

We have this thought that people from other parts of Harlem love us. every time I saw said he showed love to me. I'm just sitting here thinking how can this be true. the life people take from others for what. the fight and the grind are all a part of the hustle. the game females will set you up. this is why I'm not in a relationship right now. you have to watch your back at all times. take me, for example, it is the ones that know you that set you up. I trusted so-called females and they stabbed me in the back. dealing don't bring scared business to me.

Let me break this down going threw this shit to get some more tracks done. followed you for this long and now I'm to the next one. The picture says so much I got you. you think I'm falling behind but I don't think so. I'm getting to this money I still have to see out of my third eye feel me. this shit might go over your head. this is the roc feel me. you need to understand that we will never fail. we will still be on top of the game. how can you oversee the man that's still on his feet and continue to stay strong in this game?

What were females doing when the kid was out of town? let me guess this person keeps. letting me know that he had her so what. whoever feels some kind of way. you say you are on some uplifting shit but keep ringing my bells get off me. I'm not worrying about any of them. I see where this is going y'all all on the other side. this is the game live by it or die by it and I can't let a hitch lead me in the wrong direction. it's so many females out here. I have to make up my mind about which one I want. if I may ask what's the outcome just pay attention now.

I want what from me to you mix this flow into this gangster shit. I hope this shit still sticks with you from when we were young. you said I'm supposed to rap right after you on my life. so you say I can bring you out of retirement. I know you will get on track with me. this goes out to all of my ninjas that's been here with me from the beginning of time. if you don't know you will figure it out soon that I'm one of the best and yeah it's a New York City thing. please everybody can eat but why NY people don't eat with NY people?

Plucky came to holla at me today and I'm thankful for that. this follows the game that I'm thinking of. why is that how many billions of people need and then they put the drug connect on world star? will it stop him from taking care of his business no? you know what I say keep that shit coming. what you want from this young man half of y'all need God. I'm in it for the long run will she follow me? girls all over town this is why I say you got to duck both connect right yes. whatever you need let me know people say this is tricking I think not.

If I tell you I love you it's because I mean it. you have helped me change for the better trust me. the way you entered my life and took hold of my life. I thank all y'all for loving me. I know I have a family with y'all. I'm doing this for us and our children. so when they get older they will have money in their bank account. I'm not giving up on myself so please don't give up on me. when I first came home I meant I didn't know where this relationship was going or if y'all wanted me in y'all life. I haven't seen anything wrong with the ones that I love. I knew you were the one for me when I laid eyes on our family.

Do you want to ride with me and also ride with a man that knows how to work your body out? you can get on top and make moves like you want to. I can get on top of you. you want a man that has a lot of money but money isn't everything trust me. what if this man loses it all again will you be there for me? I need one that wants to see me continue to win. you can have everything you set your mind to. how is this going to go? do you want to get out now I'm taking my time to make sure the business side of the company is strong. strong can go both ways trust me. you are the love of my life. just got off the phone and she said, change baby.

                                                          CHAPTER 136

If this dot works inside of you can I get an amen? looking at the way you look at me. I want to get close up on you and let our minds connect to one another. God says when you follow his way you will be gifted and guess what I have. you look like a sexy woman and not young-minded. we ought to keep our bodies to one another and let no one come between us. if I slashed your temple let me know. how does it feel I think this was given to me for one reason and that reason is to respect my family. I plan on respecting my family for the rest of the time I have on this earth. they say the good die young.

I know I will try my best to make it home to you. just in case you see someone different than your love. I'm getting upset and I'm big mad because I thought my love will make you happy. you know how much I love you because you see me as I am. you are my better half I think you think the same right? he can't get mad because all of the other females were with other men when we were home getting things taken care of. so why when it's at its best they can come in and reap the benefits that we have? I'm only looking for lovely ladies that trusted me. so if this is you I love you thank you.

When I called some time ago after we stop seeing one another. you said you were trying on some jeans. you know the way this story goes makes it hard for your man to look at another female. I will do anything for my children as long as I'm able to do it. I want to rub on your legs because you know I'm a leg man. the way you cross your legs with that dress on. I'm crossing the street you standing right there looking good as ever. this is where it all begins from the first I have seen double take you got me open and with your sexy ass why wouldn't I be.

Can you tell me what's on your mind right now? holding you for life you are my queen my guess is you want to stay here because of what you know and this is something that get you threw the day. who cheated for real because everything I did was in-house. but if you stepped out you were laying up with a man that you never knew and had a relationship with him. I'm trying my best not to go behind another man. I have to look my child in the eyes and tell her I never crossed her mother is that you, this fighting wondering if you want to be here or not. the way you laugh when you were doing my hair. can someone tell me why names match two Aaliyah?

Followed by four-leaf clover that's the match that I'm talking about. she must have seen something in me that people couldn't see in me. if I explain how I feel am I soft or am I keeping it real with myself? I can't wait to undress you followed by you cooking me breakfast in bed. you already made me dinner and lunch before. I'm trying to be there early in the morning with you waking up next to your baby. If I told you I'm for you, believe me. this soul is protected by God and Jesus stands for the j is for Jeremiah and the es stands for Ellison and the us stand for usher. this is the three men that died on the cross. 

So when is it okay for this person to talk about who I'm laying the pipe to. she wants a kid from the hill that's where it's at. why are you talking about drugs a key where a brick where. I wish people stop talking about them moving that much and ain't moving shit. look the south got QC and I got RN this is the reason New York City people can't cum together. if the money is right you got it so stop trying to take shots at uptown okay? gaming these chicks nowadays is hard because they are getting to the bag. you call it what you want if people from the hill don't see it the way you are saying it, what you are saying but I take this hill shit to the heart.

So I'm continuing the stories that I wrote. how will this come out what about your mother being younger than you? if you ask me Jesus' mother implanted a seed inside of her and guess what it was Aaliyah and you can't shake it. you have to think like that because of everything that's been going on with my writing. say it all about it Godmother is the same lady because it was written to be. she tried to get a nut and she got a nut and what. you should be proud and hold your head up.

If she wants to be in my life. she can not be up in other guys' faces because I'm not in other females' faces. it all started with this dark night that came my way. I'm still standing strong for our family. you made this up to cover your tracks. you don't want people to know what's going on with me and you. I have this dark spot on my hand is that a calling for you to be in my life? I can't give up now because this man sees things coming together in due time. so what we ought to do is live our life the right way.

People die by guns it seems like no one wants to live their life. you may not see what I see but if you ask me what I see I can explain it to you. you have to be conscious and fearful of life because at any given time life can change by the second. now we are looking into the next year hoping it brings us joy in life. the way we are going to get a piece of the pie is if we stick together as on. the body only can take so much in life. growing applying the pressure that we won't give up. we have to take our time and let life take its toll.

Dying with the pain of restoring the body the mind and the soul. she has stuck by me since day 1 and I mean when I returned home. thank you I know our children meaning all of my kids are the best trust me. I know what y'all are going through right now. I want it just as bad as y'all want it. waiting this out I know you have everything that you want. money can't buy love it helps out with the things you need in life to survive. so you ought to do your best to love me from afar because I'm trying my best to love you from afar.

                                                         CHAPTER 137

My writing takes away some of the pain that I have. I do this so people can understand what I am going through at that time. lifting my people up focusing on the right stuff and leaving the bad stuff out ok you want me to say negative and positive? you have to make a map and use it every day of your life. so you know right from wrong in the future. you ought to make mistakes so you can learn from them if you do not make mistakes how will you learn? life has a funny way of showing you reality so stay woke.

Sorting out this problem we have. men have to step up and love our queens because sooner or later. it will all fall on us to be the men of the house. how can we teach our young women to value themself in this life? you shouldn't have to give up the goods until you are ready. I'm here for the long run because I want one that I have to chase and not an easy one. After all, if it was easy for me. it will be easy for another man to come in and sweep her off of her feet. I love when y'all play hard to get. this will keep me on my game and my toes feel me. so continue.

You know you are the one for me. you always told me I'm going to want you back. I'm doing everything in my power to get my baby back. the game isn't the same without you. I know you are in someone else life. if I told you the dot changes your soul into Aaliyah would you believe me? I'm trying to teach you that your soul is strong because of who you are. a very strong woman. I'm trying to write my wrongs the best way I know how you move like a woman that has her head on her shoulders and I mean that figuratively.

If you can have your way which way would you have? up top or down bottom side to side. what's your favorite position? I'm with whatever you like. as long as I'm doing it to you. you have to walk with the man you want to be with. a great woman will help her man accomplish what he needs to accomplish. a woman will lift a man up beyond his highest potential. trust me you will see how strong a women's touch can be. you're right about that because the females that are in my life help me out in so many ways. I can't even believe it.

We're here and this feeling feels so good. tomorrow we will have sixteen days left and then twenty-one. what're the signs you have thrown in this? the copyright certificate says the date that adds up to my little sister. the man upstairs knows what he's doing by putting me in y'all life trust me. I can't deny y'all because this is something that he has set up for me and I'm walking his guidelines. so I have to listen to what he says and act on what he showed me. I want you to be mine forever baby.

Gather as much information as I can. it's called problem-solving I think I'm good at that. like when you're in a relationship and the female wants out for her reasons. you let her go and find someone worth staying with. I'm not taking shots at anyone just food for thought. if a relationship is based on trust it will last forever feel me. if one does for the other and the other one does for you. you have laid down a strong foundation. children will grow up and understand for better or worse and what that means.

I remember taking all of those trips and I'm not saying this because it's the right thing to say. some people say they have bricks but where at? the same people never moved bricks or went out of town and had to hold down the fort. gambling with the life shit I could've got hit up out there. I lost some of my close friends to gun violence. so when people ask me how I feel. I feel like never opening up this company because money is the root of evil. I had people do shit to shit I had going on.

You should always support those who support you. I see things clearly when it comes to that. I'm not asking for support from anyone writing is something that I got attached to. thank you for the ones that I see holding me down. meaning caring for my feelings and not disrespecting what we have going on. this is for y'all I appreciate. all y'all these nights with y'all keeping me focus. I promise not to lead you astray. working until the work is done. I keep my hands in prayer because he gives and he can take it. I always said if you show me I will lead by example.

Surround yourself with people that want to see you win. you are bringing an up brings up so watch what you do carefully. I’m trying to show whoever’s in my life that this is the right place to raise children. the smart living will always beat out a bad living. you have the grow into something that your parents will be proud of. the only way I know be at the top and if you fall down get right back up and try again. people will talk about you when you are winning and when you are losing. so why care what people think about you?

What does it mean when you planning for your children's future? people will try to take from you. you have to choose your friends wisely before you act on things. follow your plan my body and mind is hollo. Leah means Hebrew this is the symbol that I have on my hand furthermore I’m not adding problems. so let’s agree on the way we have to live before our fighting turns bad. you have to support me just as well as I’m supposed to support you. life is hard but by the grace of God, we will overcome it.

                                                        CHAPTER 138

I want to be in your presence because you have shown me that you are a stand-up woman and you love me. I thank God your mother called me that day to be in your life because you stood here with me. the gratitude I have for you. the only regret I have is only having one life to be here educating our children oh know I’m eternal life. so I will be back with my family and I will have another chance at life. this is for the things we don’t cover now we will cover in our next life but before that, we will enter our next life as a lion.

I remember getting a phone call that you wanted to come home from Atlanta and you asked me to pay your way home I said okay and send the money. when you got home you walked past the park we dressed alike on numerous occasions. I asked the mother to ask you if you wanted to do my hair and she asked you and the mother came back and said you said I asked you that yesterday. just in case you do not understand where I’m coming from you will understand when my mind opens up to your mind. great minds think alike.

So I made it to 1090 and I have this dot on my hand move ten up. that makes it 11 hundred the connection to Grandma is August 13 which means I will be on the year she was born. I hope you are soaking all of this knowledge in. this is why I say numbers add up to you. you and I have to be at peace with one another because this is the only way this relationship will continue to be strong. I’m on it until I make it or go into writer's block I haven’t reached that yet. I’m waiting on it but for now, I will continue to drop these Jews.

The countdown is on for me and you to be one. meaning the connection we have for one another can’t be broken because we look at one another intending to love life together. you have to set some boundaries in your life. one hand should wash the other hand so everything can go smoothly with us. fighting for love should be mandatory in a relationship feel me. you should act on life in your way if you plan on doing it for your partner okay if you want y’all love to last forever right? so you have to be there for her right yes.

Everyone has their peak in life. you visualize being close as parents but the connection stays on 💯 before I let the game trap me. I have to show that I’m able to live life positively out here. I’m not bastion the other one. I hope you are staying here because you want to be here. I know that our children mean everything to you. I’m here to make your life a little easy. so you can be the best partner that you could be to our children. I never want you to get out of character this is like a mechanism on us.

Who can you call on when times get hard that’s right. you are supposed to feel comfortable calling me besides I said not in that context and you use it today for currency. why not have money in banks across the world when you're doing it big notorious? I don’t want to be well known I just want to make my money and keep it pushing. I don’t need people all up in my space I’m not here for the fame. you ought to know that people that are in the spot lite have to portray a certain image that they don’t live by.

So you have diverted my attention to this chain that you have on. that’s similar to the chain that Aaliyah had on in them back in one piece. I’m asking myself what’s the connection in this. let me think is she telling me that that’s who she is? if you put e in her name it spells what. you tell me a matter of fact let me explain l.a.h add an e bring it to Leah okay why because the connection is there feel me. the more I get deep into my thoughts it always turns out to be something connected to you never again.

I never seem to know if she was using me. I can bounce back because it’s in my nature. it seems like this female was only in it for the money. this is why black men have trouble wife y’all when he has money because it’s the same thing you see everywhere after she gets what she wants she leaves you and starts over but when times were hard it was up to me. what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. I will take the blessings that were sent my way because I know she’s looking after me.

The causes you work so hard for your dreams to come true. you block everything out but what about what life has in it? I have to keep my head in this book because if I don’t take care of my company who will? God has given you this gift and you shouldn’t let anyone distract you from closing this. the way you work will show in the future believe me when my head hurts you can’t count on anyone but yourself to keep a level head out here. believe me, she was never with you from the beginning you take the bad with the good.

I’m just expressing the things that go on in my life. I know one day I am going to make some lucky women feel great about themselves because I have all of the intentions of doing my best in the relationship to come forthwith. I’m leaving it up to you lord protect me from people that only want from me. protect me from life living bad things may happen but I’m fearless. so I have to be a man for my women. she may not know who she is because I know it’s going to take time but trust me I have all of the time in the world.

                                                                 CHAPTER 139

Things sure are getting difficult because of what y’all want y’all get and I have to work to provide that. if you are thinking that I wish this never happened to be the man in your life think again. I’m not upset about that y’all work me to the tee and I’m happy but sometimes I feel like it’s too much. late nights and early mornings all through the daily work. even under my condition I still hold us down not letting that get the best of me. scared to drop a seed hoping I don’t curse my baby. it’s always good and good outshines the bad.

I never heard I’m proud of you because you work hard. is it all about the money with you? then I stop and think if I didn’t have this money will she still be here with me? then I think when I was dead broke and fucked up she still loved me. now that I got that out of the way I can continue to work. I will appreciate it if this wasn’t someone that you see fit because you need to take care of yourself out here if it stops tonight or tomorrow what would you do if it all just stops? you have to meet me halfway.

Seeing you today committed in a song that Hov said can I live? you take all of the pressure off of me because I know I still have y’all by my side. I will continue to write my heart out for the ones that have to remain in my life and for the ones that have kids by me that went to school today. I wonder how was their first day at school days like this not being able to be there hurts. I know you are doing an amazing job. so keep up the great work up. I’m trying to be all I can be for you and the children we have together.

Is love enough for us to go on cheating on one another since you've been gone I haven’t been with another women trust me I will not cross you. I will like to stay on status baby keep me comfortable. that day you walked out of my life we had a conversation about what we had to handle. I was all for it but was I ready to separate from you, no I wasn’t. I remember the connection when we cross paths. I knew you were inside of me forever. I promise never to let another women come between us unless she’s worth it.

I never know what she is thinking but I know building this company for me and who’s with me. I am glad I have found out about this now. you can’t let things get to you because you are a strong man and a woman looks for that. let’s see into the future when you get old and you can’t move around like you use to. this is when I’m going to show how hard I have been working. if God gives me 20 more years I can see myself changing the world or I have to be changed by the world.

You see what’s accomplished, don’t you? I’m still learning from things that I read and see. by the way me seeing things for what they are. this is why I just look with this puzzle on my face because I’m observant of everything that is going on in my life and the people that should be here with me. the thought of you leading me on and no money isn’t the problem but I work hard for what I have. so using me for what if not I apologize for insinuating that you are. take a look at all that was given to you.

When days go by slowly it’s like everyone is in a rush to get somewhere. I’m working to improve my situation before I leave here. I need to make sure my kids or should I say children have something to look forward to. 80 billion in 10 months ain’t bad at all. I don’t want people wanting to be down on me because I can make them money. it has to be chemistry with one another before I do any business with you. I started from the bottom just like everyone else. I was missing for a couple of years but bounced back.

If I can dance with my daughters. when I was young I had y’all at a young age. I had to work and stop going to school to take care of y’all. I know I missed out on the beautiful things that went on in y’all life. I’m sorry to my children but I want y’all to know I love y’all. I’m trying to be this man that y’all can look up to. I hated being away from y’all. if y’all were wondering. I know I have to learn what are some of the things that y’all love. I’m willing to do and trust me the love I have for y’all mothers.

When I look at my children I have this feeling like y’all can do nothing wrong. it’s hard to walk away from y’all. I want everything positive for y’all so I have to work my mind off. y’all mean the world to me. I can’t wait to hold y’all in my arms. let’s block out all of the negativity because we do not need it. I want y’all to know whenever y’all want to enter my life trust me y’all can. I’m just waiting patiently and trust me I see all of the wonderful things y’all mothers are doing with y’all. I died once on the cross and now it’s about status.

Dear children what can I do to make your life better I want to give y’all the world. the way I see and hear and write. I know that my children are in great hands. the mothers of these wonderful kids being strong at a time when I was not in my right state of mind. it was because I was missing y’all and I said to myself that if I make it out of this situation. I will never put the mother of my children through anything like this ever again. children it was with all good intentions trust me. God wanted me to get my wings.

                                                          CHAPTER 140

I remember when you were at my house. your mother left you with me and I watched you for the whole day. I was only a young boy but I knew that this felt so right in my heart. I kissed you and you just looked at me with this smile on your face. I felt so warm inside of my soul. I knew right there I wanted this little girl in my life. I remember when your mother came to my house she was with one of her sisters and had a little girl walking beside her and another child in the stroller and I still thank God for my children.

I remember my uncle giving me money to go to the machine to buy a ring. then I went to your house and gave you the ring and you said thank you. I remember holding court inside of your house over our children. you said in your final statement you love me and you want me to take care of my daughters and in my final statement. I said I will because your father was a judge. both of them are in car seats and you came to see me and I gave you the last of what I had cumsi.

The way life is going God please remove people that don’t deserve to be in my life. I know it may take time but I have faith that you will do so because I am your child. just by knowing that you trusted me. I had nine lives and the last one meant. I had to prove that I’m worthy of being you. I did exactly what you asked of me. I see that you are still working on me. and trust me I’m here until you finish working on me. you show me things that I need to see for the strength that you have given me. I’m just waiting for your touch and believe me when I say I felt it.

As days go by and I’m still working to get into my children's life. I know y’all see my ups and downs as I write them in my stories. I’m writing them so you can see inside my life when you weren’t there. I don’t disagree with what y’all mothers did but it hurts. trying to write my wrongs into rights by the grace of God. would you believe him giving me this task? I stood up like a man and took all of the pain just like when he was on the cross. all of the bloodshed I let loose out of my body. so y’all can have a better life.

People I’m married to the game imagine having kids with it that you can teach how to play this game. I mean hustling the right way I want my children to run this company one day because I’m getting old. y’all will be able to make decisions on the way our company will go and in what direction. if I can make him all of those billion just think about what I am going to do for y’all. trust me it will be endless. building this company knowing that my children are looking at what I have created.

It’s hard remember to find someone that you can trust when you are dealing with this type of thing meaning company business. you will comfort the one that loves you but love doesn’t define the way people treat you. I’m glad that I saw the truth before it was too late. I know you are never going to say anything about her. I know this woman meaning the one that’s inside of me. I know she did everything in her power to keep me safe. I know how hard it was for her to give up her life to help me out and look faithful.

I haven’t had any sexual contact with anyone since you have been on this earth even when you were a seed like the one I have in my hand. on the other hand what if all of this that I have done was for nothing? yes, she said she loved me wanting me to write this off of this song. I gave her exactly what she asked for but what about helping me out with what I need? am I putting 100 percent and if so how much are y’all putting in? I want to see the outcome of what you will do for me. I’m not asking for much only for trust.

I want to say it but I don’t know how to say it. I’ll say this it’s your day so enjoy it to the max. as for me I’m good I can’t understand everything that’s going on it’s like my mind has different feelings about two things and I’m not going to say it. the blessings that came my way y’all need to see this out and accept who may be you. if not I need to know so I can exchange her for someone else. cause I’m ready to lock up with her so I can know that her body’s inside of women.

I’m not supposed to get mad if she plays games in this relationship. this is her calling on all types of nights. what do you want out of my life? putting up with you no more I need to move on. this girl has her bad ways this situation gets on my nerves. you played me but I can get back on my bull shit. you make up things that you do just to get me mad and upset. you need to go your way and I need to go my way. I can’t take this anymore because I’m jealous of what could be and this is just the way I feel.

Holding on to her makes all of the difference in the world. I have to say things have looked up in my life. I know he needed you to be by his side. but the thought of him taking you from me to be with him, or is it for you to exchange your soul for the female of my choice? who will it be if I slash women. she will have all of your power and that lucky lady will be you for eternity. I always seem to catch myself wishing you were here but I have to accept it for now and know that he is working on bringing me, someone.

                                                            CHAPTER 141

M16 you should want to fall back from 12 because they don’t give a fuck about us. how in the hell you are going to patrol our streets when you know nothing about us? this shit gets me upset because we need to come together and fight back but some don’t know how to. I put this on Damu it’s hell in these streets because jake needs to be stopped before guns don’t kill people. people kill people. and people think it’s about partying all the time what about giving these young children some game before this killing one another gets out of hand? who’s your big homie he’s not a big homie if he doesn’t educate you on how the streets are.

If having three children by the same mother and father makes us strong so be it. I wonder if this is just in my mind. she said she want to do something for me and I said to remain faithful to me, that’s all I need when it’s dark you bring out the light in me. you have this glow like no other female I know. should I give up and take my talent to the south I have so many memories out there and the reason a lot of people claim blood is because of me. I was the plug from the east to the south. you can get me out of my comfort zone.

This ain’t living nigga  when will we understand that we have to guide ourselves in a better direction? what you want to become famous and these young adolescents are struggling to become men. we have a powerful speaker that leads us in the direction that we need to go in. the young ladies you need to close your legs because you can’t be giving it up to anyone that has money. I lose this battle, or am I overcoming the temptation? I have to keep my head strong out here because everyone uses one another to build their own as I’ve done.

I’m trying to turn my bad money into good money but it’s hard. the only way I’m able to do this is by my women looking after me. you show me a lot of things that make my mind look in the right direction before I get locked up and be facing 30 years of money. looking over my shoulder from the feds because they can be on to me. remember this is just rap and I’m not doing drug dealing. yes, I have advice for the people that are in that game. pay attention to your surroundings because if you don’t watch your back you can end up dead or in jail.

You say I’m buffing but let’s tell the truth when you had me next to you and you walked in the park and I came in the park after you. I said hi Trish and you said hi sin. I know what that meant you wanted to talk to me later on. the conversation went something like this do you want me in your life you said not now. what am I supposed to think about this distance relationship how am I going to live my life without you? I got the heart to tell you when you are wrong this is what she said to me and I said you should always stand up for what you want.

You have to make sure you make positive moves if you want me in your life. so watch what you do until we come to a connection. you can’t move right if you stay to the left. this is how it goes let’s stay family. everyone should understand that the way you act is the way you will be perceived. please don’t let your emotions feel differently if she upset you. I’m not one to take the pain of caring for you if you underestimate the way you think you will be in last place. it takes a nation of millions if you want to lead us down the right path.

Sorting out the problems you have will have a great impact on your life. you follow the ones that have goals for themselves and learn the business before the industry takes from you. I’m glad I own my rights and my publishing and catalog. this way everything I own will go to my family and I want my family to know that I’m working to better our life okay. yes, I miss y’all all trust and believe I’m coming home, and if she wants to move down south to be closer to her child. let me find out if y’all two have a connection together.

Calm and collected never fold when the pressure is on because that will determine how strong-minded you are. yes, I’m pushing to write my wrong. so my family can have an outlook on the inside of my mind. I know I have shown you actions and y’all will understand where I’m coming from. the good die young how can we change that? we have to put down the guns and use our intelligence and perform at an all-time high. follow the person that has something going for himself. read and educate yourself about streets and business smart.

I don’t want to be in concert with anyone out here. this is why I stay in my lane. people have to understand the world is full of dishonest people. so I have to protect what I am doing before I toss your girl it will cost you more if I have to keep my eyes open until everyone is out of this room. I don’t have to walk by myself but for you. I will, if she can’t see what she has in front of her I will move on. this is for all of the females that left me. I hope you are doing well as for me nothing has changed. I’m still handling my business to the best of my ability.

You should control everything you do, so you can know to do better if something seems wrong, the way life is going for black men. listening to people that have nothing to gain out of life how can I listen to someone that’s in the same predicament I am? what I need to do is be on my toes and live for my family. as long as I got they got this is the way it’s supposed to be in life or death. leaving my children this company will help them live the right kind of life when you know right from wrong you see things differently.

                                                             CHAPTER 142

I remember when I texted you and asked you did you want to go to a concert with me and you said you do not like to be around a crowd of people. this has two meanings and is spelled the same sign I throw at you. you ought to throw back at me and you did. when you said it’s cold outside I remember everything that we talked about. I’m just letting you know I was paying attention to what you had to say. I’m not annoying you I get knowledge from you whether you believe it or not please continue to study.

This is a big world but different nationalities and it seems like no I know we are in the last place. we can change that if we come together and pull our resources. we can come to an economic change but we fight amongst one another. female wants to be outside in clubs partying but what about when you reach an age and you look up and have no one with you? I don’t want anything to do with females that are like that because I have to teach my daughters they are women and a man should respect them not showing half ass in a flick.

If shit is getting hot don’t mind me. I’m just here to protect my sisters and that’s for the two that were born inside of me Gershom and Eliezer. y’all both have to stand up and walk like I’m walking because anything less is uncivilized. living in this life we did everything y’all helped me handle my business and both of y’all is giving me the confidence to move forward in life. the way the game is going we need God and Jesus everybody is out here for ourselves but not me. my friends and family mean everything to me.

I remember when you were walking up the block and went to the corner and walk right back down the block. you stopped you know that’s okay and one day you were walking across the streets. I know you knew what I was saying about you. thank God you are prepared for the world now and you never crossed me. you are your person but if we were born together and you separated from me in this life. you have to respect my wishes because I’m the oldest and I know more than you know so you should soak up this game.

Soon you'll understand and now is the time that you understand what I’m doing. Layla is sitting here watching what the both of us are doing. so Aaliyah has to woman up and be a mother to her children. if this is what you want you need someone that has a Ph.D. and I got that as you know I was working from the time you first saw me. this shit is difficult because me not fully understand what’s right from wrong. you are telling me that we will be together baby. this heart will not tolerate the problem that you may cause me.

Mama’s just a little girl. you have to take this seriously because men as I grow up and take responsibility for you and the children that you have conceived but I know in your heart being a mother to your children is a blessing to you. by the way, girls you have to be more in tune with their life because it’s hard for women. that’s why I want to raise queens because that will attract a man that has something going for himself because we raise them like that. you should look deep into a man's soul and be with him for a long time before you move that steady into moments.

Calling a female out by her name that’s something that I will never do. it doesn’t matter how fuckup shit can get I will never. I have a mother and sisters and daughter. the word hitch came from a female dog the only dogs I know are men and women doing only gangster shit. that is what I live by because it is in our history in blood codes, this sex money murder crew that I have the second command in if you don’t believe me just think about it rollack, and name me Simlack one of my friends gave me that name but I always knew that’s what he called me, am I, My brother keeper, yes I am.

I know you talk like you are tongue tie. I’m not saying that it is a symptom but you know about my condition and you are still sitting here in my life thank you for every blessing you gave me. I truly appreciate it because if it wasn’t for you I’ll probably be in the streets. knowing I have a home to come home to is a blessing trust me. I remember ringing the bell and thinking what can she be thinking about? when I got upstairs I asked you do you mind doing my hair once a week and you said no problem.

Hiding from the truth is a reality for some people. the purpose you have on this earth shows people that you can do whatever they thought that you couldn’t do. look them right in their eyes and make them regret playing you. girls moved on and I’m not mad at it. I just have to secure the bag. if someone can’t secure the bag with me move on. in this life, I need a comfortable space out here because if things get a qualm in my mind. so you ought to show me that y’all are my ride or dies because people may miss using the word faithful when you are faithful that means you are dedicated.

I use to use a 38snub nose and shoot it off now and then to make sure. I don’t get hit up when I was out of town what do you know about putting on a girdle to transport more than 100thousand no homo. that’s the type of shit we were moving. people talk about it but never moved that much. you talk about keys yeah right where at. I’m still in the streets moving work. I know all of the biggest drug cartel connections. you're right up on him you need to stick to raps. imagine me being scared of a person that bleeds as I bleed.

                                                         CHAPTER 143

I’m not trying to figure out why she named her after Aaliyah. this makes more sense to me in having an understanding of her being my Leah. I’m not uncomfortable with the way you show that you care. if you show me more I will be grateful believe me. putting this down on paper that I love the ladies that are in my life. I respect the ones that didn’t show the other side because her friends carry themself in that kind of way. you ought to be growing up in life. the respect is there now that I understand that you understand that you are here.

Seeing this young lady when I see children that look like me. I know by how they look at me tells me that they’re my children. I want you to have everything that God made for you. I’m working to provide for you. I know you look at your mother and tell her that she made the right decision. I think I made the right decision because you listen to me and make life goes easy. you not in the streets because I for sake that. you look at me after you did what you did.

I just saw my daughter jumping up and down in front of the building. I was about to walk down the block I didn’t want to interrupt or intrude on what you and she had going on. next time you are not getting a pass. I’m glad she’s happy that means you are doing a great job being a mother to her. the thought of losing you I remember when I came to the house in the winter. you asked me if it was cold outside I know that meant you have a crush on me. your wordplay impacts my mind with thoughts that I can replay in my stories.

My heart goes out to the people who moved on from me. the reason I’m able to go on is because of my children without them I don’t know what I would be doing. every heartbeat from them gives me the energy to move forward in life. I take pictures so you can see me and I know you want to see me. y’all are my little princesses and I can’t imagine my life without y’all. God has blessed me with this family and I’m grateful for my children loving me too the mothers of my children thank you.

I remember staying at wake and mystic's house and Clicquot didn’t want to go to school. she took the thermometer to a lighter so her temperature would be sky-high. I told her amateur you have to put it under a lightbulb so it can have a temperature that wake would believe when she gave her it wake said we can stay home thanks to me. I remember me having like 50 beats that I was going threw and Clicquot walked past my house and heard the music and then came in my house listening to the beats she helped me pick the right beat squad up.

My shooting star started like this how can I please you. she said to get to know me before you judge me and I said okay that’s what I should’ve done. I wasn’t thinking I just wanted to get to know you. know I’m not worried about what a female is doing because my children's mother comes first does this make sense to you? I’m so glad you have decided to be in my life. let me show you why you decided to be in my life. I’m not saying everything is perfect but we’re working on it understand?

Showing is believing so do whatever she says, so you can move forward in her life. and treat her with respect so you can keep her in your life. this is a learning experience for both of us. you never know what I’m thinking that’s not so because I let my mind write whatever’s on my mind. please tell me what more I can do for you. this thing grownup body connection to you. so make sure you keep me in your blessings. it can change by feelings so we are supposed to take care of one another until we leave here on earth and even then eternal life.

This isn’t it we have to keep our minds moving. so I can continue to learn as I teach you what love is. you want the best that I can give you. so you have to pay attention to what I’m teaching. this is the only way you are going to get it. I have to keep telling your mind this is the way it’s supposed to be. let’s take our time before someone gets hurt. I’m free to do it for you so bear with me. every time you make me wait I just want more to get next to you. I’m planning this life for us okay?

Just got that phone call from my mother and it was a great conversation because now shorty telling her to tell me that she’s trying to get a big house in Atlanta for the whole family. this is why Aaliyah walks with you because you are thinking about progression and I’m thankful that I can be of some assistance to you. I want your dreams to go wonderful and I said how are y’all going to leave me? she said I can visit whenever I want to and I will be sure to visit, building that’s all I want from you. think about your children am I?

I ain’t got it so you can’t get it. I see you are in the bullpen right I've been doing this faithful heart for 19 years. thank you for connecting the dots. this is why our relationship will last we talk to one another on occasion. we have to stay loyal to one another. dishonest people don’t last in a good relationship don’t cheat yourself out of a good relationship. we should always stay Ten steps ahead. you know that phone call was to warn me about what you were about to post. you wearing a bulls jersey body unity love lust soul.

                                                               CHAPTER 144

So this bird brain thinks I’m playing with her right? I will throw your ass in a garbage bag if you cheat. you think I won’t leave your ass right in front of these children. these hitches stay playing your mother called me to tell me you were busy and you went out in Atlanta. you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. let’s see when was the last time you did anything for me? you can’t even buy me a birthday card. next time I’m going to punch you right in your face. let’s see one picture outer line.

I wonder if she understands why I’m telling her this. you have to have your mind because if I didn’t care I’ll be asking you to give it up right away. I’m not because I want an everlasting relationship with you. I know you want more for yourself I’m right here to help you out. you are the only one I think about because Layla wants you to be the first because her mother is in you or not. I’m seeing things that can get me in the mood to do something right now. I have been feeling this way for a long time now.

So I have been patiently waiting when grandma was 70 years old I was born and when she was 80 years old you were born. this is the math to what X said about 150 in hows it’s going down. you have a lot of connections to my life and I know why. Layla, does this answer this question that you have about this track? I know she is not trying to trap me because I wanted this just as much as she wants it. when I go up in heaven you better be right next to me or else this shit won’t work for you have to exchange in time and out time with Aaliyah.

Brother, do you remember what we talked about when I was down south, you said you were going to come to visit me. I want to know if it still stands while I’m back in New York City. yeah, I need that if anything goes down. yes, I miss my sister like crazy I remember y’all getting paid for summer letting me and my sister and play all of the games. Does one shot one kill what's the deal? better them than me I’m watching everything I’m awake and that’s dangerous to have a black man woke. things can get out of hand and I know you got down the hill and you are from up the hill Barry.

If everyone is the boss where are the workers a company needs that. so don’t listen to what people say about that. use your mind to become a businessman. the more power you have the more people want to get rid of you but I’m not going out like that because this dot is ready to go off. the rain may fall who controls me that’s who. I can never work with the enemy but she’s siding with them right? that can’t be something that the left eye would do exchanging looks like it’s 50/50 love.

You can get me out of my game because I’m dedicated to you. this means we need to be in one another arms. I've been holding you for a long time. she said she wants to see me get what’s coming to me. what am I supposed to do when I see a man in front of you? you are supposed to look up to that man because I can teach you so much. you should be able to learn so much from me if you pay attention to what I have to teach you. I put you first because that’s what a man does for his family.

You must not understand how hard it is without you here next to me. sometimes I want to give up on a relationship with someone. I can’t replace you because you were one of a kind and nobody can walk with me as you did. the last song you did a video for I’m on it. people make fun of me but I know it’s for you. lately, you have focused on me because I write to you and play the song that I wrote about. what are you doing are you telling me you want a relationship with me or not? from 15 years old and now I’m 36 and live in 49 states I have been faithful for 1hour in the last state.

So she called saying she was going to send me a picture. I think she was just pulling my leg because she said she was at a birthday party in Atlanta after I said both of y’all birthdays. she always lets me know what I am writing. After all, she wants me to know that she is following me. Guess what I haven’t got the picture. she said she looks like Smokey Robinson and she has gray eyes. I’m thinking what connection is that then I think I know what. you always make sense of what you are doing. so don’t let anyone sidetrack you.

She shows her true feelings when I ask of her. and her dedication to me is unreal because I know I mean the world to her. this is exactly what Aaliyah would’ve done. I do not question your intention when it comes to me. I learn from you just as well as you are learning from me. this is something that both of us have to pay attention to. you are my tears when I cry and when my eyes are dry and I can see straight. you gave me the strength to continue to write because you are putting my thoughts in the right direction.

I just want to ensure you that I’m the man that you are looking for. I want to build with you. you are right when I’m wrong. you are my yes when it’s no. me being here with you has opened so many doors you wouldn’t believe it. I owe you so much I put a lot of time into making you a woman and I can’t imagine you giving what I have built-in you to someone else. so what am I supposed to do if you walk out of my life? the pain and happiness happen once in a lifetime when you find that one special person you make her happy for the rest of her life.

                                                               CHAPTER 145

I remember at times being in one another's life. we use to know what was on the other person's mind. I remember sitting on the bus going home from work. you asked for a connection asking for me to give you a Happy Easter. why wouldn’t I when Jesus' day is on that day and you stuck with me? I texted you and asked you if it was anything you needed for that day and you said a pair of Jordans. I said okay and said call me when you get up in the morning and you called at 8clock. then I made my way around here.

You should never let women get down on one knee and propose to you. how could I have stopped her some day on January the 8th to be exact? I returned the favor in May the day was the 16th. I don’t know if she was telling me just to keep me around because I was doing it for her and she didn’t want me to leave just yet. the license to what I’m talking about is in the library of congress. you told me never to be scared to ask for what I want. the best thing that could ever happen to me is you. you helped me through hard times.

When I say something you always say I’m saying it to hurt you but I just want what’s best for you. when my children help me so much I need y’all in my life. as a black man times can get hard, and sometimes I can get upset with what’s going on but I promise I will never put my hands on you or raise my voice to you. the only thing that was right about what Aaliyah did she did this for our family. I’m beside you every step of the way until we enter heaven parting the Red Sea. so no contact with any women would be inside your body.

Listening to a house is not a home without two people. so she leaves her life jumping from man to man if it’s a male he wouldn’t know how to treat her. I’m holding on, for the time being. she needs to show me a sign that she loves me. I just want her love laying next to me. I don’t want to change partners if I can prevent that from happening but I want you to grow with me because this home is full of grace and praising God. the man up above wants to see us together trust me. he wouldn’t put all of this energy into making this work.

So if I was a smooth criminal would you want me? someone that goes around stealing girls' virginity because it’s been so long for me. the family is you okay I’m thinking about being scared of taking a plane. being in the game so long I’m getting tired of all of this drug trafficking going back and forth. the game doesn’t get old make the money don’t let the money make you because the same people you see going up are the same people you see when you're coming down. so be mindful about what you do to people because it can come back to you.

What I meant to say is when I was giving someone special she caught me by surprise when she said what am I doing I said I’m giving you $165 no it’s not all about money. just follow the post because when something happened to her I gave $200. so if you add that up it means 365 days in a year. I hope this is what you were telling me. you had a mirror where you were staying and after you did my hair I would look in that big mirror and think about usher confessions and think about when he broke that mirror.

Thinking back to when we had our second discussion about where our life was going and in what direction. I’m on the corner I gave mother something for you she said. you were going home to do some cleaning and I got a text from you as I’m looking down my memory flashed right before my eyes. cause Aaliyah said no more and X look down I know what that meant. I promise I’m never letting anyone else take something that’s yours. you said don’t give her anything for me anymore meaning the opposite right?

So as I sit here and observe what I just posted does this mean what I think it means? it looks like I differently found Aaliyah and my uncle and it looks like I need to find a new left eye. After all, she doesn’t exist to me because she and her friends moved on. I’m kinder glad that I found out now. just by having the two of y’all in my life please let’s stay on the status. everything I own y’all own Layla I know you are happy right now and trust me I’m also happy just to find out that this is true. people say the truth will set you free.

If half is cut that means the females that Aaliyah took with her to heaven. the dot is buzzing on and off. your name is the same as hers. I’m not telling you this to compare you to her. it’s just to justify what this means to me if you have children by me and you match you know what. the dot is automatically on you because Aaliyah has the power. After all, she is the closest person to God and Jesus. eternal life means the monument will be replaced and the next round will take over.

Yes, I want to give you the world but all good things come in time. so if you can’t wait move on before you hurt me. I see things that the average man doesn’t understand. I promise it’s going to come when it’s supposed to trust me. the way I’m going with this life that we settled down for. we cannot force the love we have so let’s take our time. I’m telling you this because time is everything to me. we need to find out if this is going to last or if this is going to be a one-night stand with me and you.

                                                         CHAPTER 146

When you want someone so bad but you can’t reach her. it’s like nothing I do is ever good for you. if you are working on a plan and I’m working on a plan. putting both plans into play we can gain the world trust me. you have to let things flow into play because if you rush life God can’t make mistakes but take our time. I know he will bless me with a wonderful woman. I know having intelligence and being educated and having knowledge is the best feeling in the world. I do not talk much because I’m not loud.

I’m right here when you need me. if you want to do business with me let’s keep it professional, or do you want more from us? you can’t have a relationship with someone and then it won't work and then come to me wanting more from me cause that’s not going to happen. I’m not thinking about her I have moved on. if I never see you again it won’t bother me. I know I saw this wonderful woman today that wants in my life. you can do what you want from here on. it ain’t like you were listening to me anyway I’m happy.

When this blood shit started I had been blood since Bobby Johnson. I had people under me when that shit came out. yeah, people know who they are but we will save that for another day. it ain’t about these 036. it’s about respect as I get older I’m watching y’all. the game leaves people watching the streets. I can’t slip feel me because that might give people that want to see me hit up happy. what happened to slow yeah shut down if you knew why I don’t fuck with people but I can’t blame y’all ninjas ain’t about no gangster shit.

If the feds run in and start picking people up. I just want you to hold down the household feel me. you don’t want to see what sporty got in his clip. if ninjas rat I can’t understand people respect that why. someone said where did he tell it was right there in front of the world? you said I told on who you know that ninja told the whole internet saw that but he real I can see the game getting water down. you think I forgot about what you said. it ain’t about money how many people from the hill died.

The Apple that Aaliyah took a bite out of was bad for a reason, right? this is why I had to get my wings because the bad apple that you bit wasn’t good for you, this is why my moving on means nothing to me as long as you are here for me. I think she understands that you can take her place because this is the last of a dying breed. this is for whoever it may concern. y’all might set me up so this is why I can never say anything to y’all and I’m good with that. if it goes down I’m going to be with my family.

We have surpassed $ 1 trillion. she knows who she is that I’m waiting on. I want you to be the first one in over 18 years. what do you say please tell me that you are saying yes. I remember when I was bringing you something for what we know. buck fifty say it all I just want you to love me. I’m not looking for anyone but you. if I get down on one knee we will be husband and wife. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. you are the beneficiary of everything I own and I must say I wouldn’t want to leave it to anyone else.

So I’m dangerously in love with you. I can’t see you but I’m waiting until the day I see you next to me. let’s see how strong Jesus is, being God's Body I’m protected by the forces of the higher power. please continue to bless me I love the way this hold you have over me. until we meet again or are you here on earth in another body or do I have to enter someone into this soul of mine? so you can walk on this earth again or are you here trying to figure this out hurt my soul because it’s a simple yes or no and yes I’m giving you an ultimatum.

I want to give you the world the sky the sun the earth in itself. I thought when you went to heaven my life wouldn’t be the same but seeing this young lady changed that. when you grow out of things that you did when you were young, you ought to change for the better because that shows a sign of growth. the only ones that think growing up is wack are people that have a young kid mentality. so, people, we need to grow up as people and handle our business so we can raise our children into men and women.

If females are running with ops do you trust them he’ll no. she might be trying to set you up and I've seen people get set up from hitches like that. you are never to say anything to any of them okay? this will determine your life living or dying. the first move letting her use what and get money off of it. when her man was one of many that I had beef with. this is why you can’t leave her anything because if something happens to me. she might let them get some of my paper feel me and me and Aaliyah can’t have that.

Just to make sure you don’t make any mistakes think about people as if Aaliyah would’ve crossed you but I know that’s never because she uses status. when I spoke to mother she said sixty and I get what that means okay? you see me and I see you by far this is only the beginning of our journey. I will make sure you understand how much I love you. my mind thinks about you every day even at the night. laying here writing to you so you can understand what I’m thinking. I want you to know and follow me so we have positive vibes, she sent her.

People not understanding where I’m coming from. I’m not chasing a female that runs and is with other men. this life that Aaliyah left for me. I promise to take care of her inside of my life. this amazing woman put up her life to help me out. if half is cut like I said what’s the sense? I want you to walk away from me. I see you doing your thing right. what does that mean when you do the opposite? you don’t see your friends with their man taking shit like that. one way or another you will exit what I have built.

Control of my thoughts means I’m less of a man because I want to express whatever’s on my mind. I know that you appreciate what I have done for you. I think this is more about us as one. I want to tell you through the ups and downs you stood by my side feel me. how can I repay you because you are my wife and I can’t see anyone else by my side but you. the fight that we put on for people that don’t know the ins and outs of this relationship. being strong I get that from you.

What should I do about you holding my hand at a time when I had nothing? this is all I talk about because you stay on my mind. if we are from the ocean. we love water I remember your sister telling me that Anna and you are scared of clowns and then I told her I almost died in water but if I’m a fish how is that possible? anything is possible then she told me that shouldn’t stop me from getting in the pool again. I told her I’m a great swimmer one day I will prove it trust me.

So you are on the phone and I started shaking right. you also used the word clown for what to let me know okay? you were talking about how people who rap end other people's careers. you also hit me with that stay scheming right? throwing signs at me for whatever reason. you had your agenda so, of course, I’m following your lead because if Aaliyah is inside of you. she is my queen this is all I need in my life. I remember the first time I saw your face on September 9th.

If Allen Iverson's wife's name is the same as yours. in the Ten Commandments, someone took the girl that he had and he was the number seven, and the opposite was number two. this is why you are here for me because that match up right. the thought of losing you I can’t swallow my pride. if I have to come down there I hope everything’s okay with you. I remember every conversation that we had. I remember a conversation where you asked do I work and I told you in a hospital and you ask me which one and I spelled Presbyterian as a doctor.

I remember the first day Aaliyah let me come to her house, remember you just said don’t hold anything back. so here we go I’m sitting on the chill-out stoop and you called threw mother and she ask was I on the block I said yeah. she said you said can I come and buy you something to eat and I said I’m on my way to your house. I ring the bell you let me in when I got upstairs I told you the story, you ordered something to eat and I gave you the money when I was about to leave a said to keep the change mother said More I said give me a chance.

You can see how far God let you. just don’t go blind looking for God to bless someone that he knows has been bad. you pick your fights on who you want to love because you have to go with what’s in your heart. my heart beats for you and I’m whole because of you. I can see you me and you growing in life, others don’t see the pain that we went through but I’m a man now, and trust me. I’m not changing for no one understands me. if I love you I love you that’s it, I can’t plan this life without you. so let’s four see things that mean something to us.